the complainer

according to a post I'm TMA because I use it/its pronouns so | He/It FTM faggot

[smorksthings]

I've decided to shed off my old sheen and make this a blog for everything else.

If you're new here, hi, this used to be a headcanons blog, but I'm repurposing it so that I can put my discourse or whatever else here. I don't want to bother my moots on my main blog.

FYI: I use he/it pronouns because I'm going to he/it you (get it?)

To add more to this for valuable information:

I don't have a DNI and I don't think DNIs are useful tools. In theory, they're great, but only in theory. They would function if we lived in a world where people actually respected boundaries or cared to read other people's boundaries, but we do not. That said, I don't care if you have "men DNI" or "women DNI" in your bio, that's your business and you shouldn't be harassed over it, that is unless you're using it as a tool to be bigoted.

My content is Canada-US centric, I am not afraid to admit this. If you think that what I'm saying is wrong because it's white, guess what? I am. If you think what I'm saying is too white centric, then either repost my blog and add commentary about it or make your own post. I don't think this is a big deal unless I'm actively putting down the voices of bipoc or religious groups, which I hope I am not.

My content centers around men and masculinity, cis men and trans men. My goal is not to take away the voices of cis women and trans women, but to give one to men who've slipped between the cracks. If you think the patriarchy uplifts men as a whole, you are wrong and I wish you do leave or educate yourself. Trans women and cis women are welcome, as long as you aren't here to put down men.

Sexism against men ≠ revolutionary.

I have little to no tolerance for intersexism and exorsexism. These are not my primary topics, but they're important as well. That said, if you are the type of person to force a canonically non-binary character with no AGAB/CAGAB I don't like you, I understand liking to bestow your favourite characters with your own traits, but forcing a gender or a mode of transition (transfem and transmasc in particular) onto the character isn't good or fun.

I also have little to no tolerance of forcing trans headcanons or other GNC headcanons onto others. Your response to a trans headcanon shouldn't be to refute it. If someone says that they headcanon a character as a trans man, the response shouldnt be disgust or to say "she'd be good/better as a butch tho". The same for the inverse or any other way.

I do not think the TMA/TME binary is helpful, nor do the people who coined the term transmisogyny or furthered it. You are only serving to force another bioessentialist binary onto people.

[smorksthings]

General un-tagged PSA: I don't want rad queers interacting with me, I'm not into that shit.

[smorksthings]

Okay, let me make this clear. Even if a perisex, monogender, binary trans man had a connection to womanhood that shouldn't be anyone's business but their own. That person doesn't owe anyone an explanation or a "why" or "how". That's their business and their buusness alone, through and through.

[fagaholichog]

birthday boys was a term made by feminists to use against mras, now transfeminists use it against tmras. its neat. now actually read feminist literature and I don't mean terf books and tumblr rants just because they agree with you, intersectional feminist literature, and transfeminist literature. then you can whine and complain all you want and be aware your making all this bs up happy birthday 🎉

Those are a lot if words to just say you're a transphobic asshole. Transandrophobe go die die imbecile die.

Also my birth is in November you fuckwad, you didn't get the month or the day right 😂😂 Come back on November 10th, I'll be turning 18 and shittt will probably be drinking for the first time it'll be cool as hell. You're not invited but you can watch me andy homies have the time of our lives from the window 😘

[smorksthings]

Anon, you're creating an entire history out of your ass. Birthday boy was a term created based on a rather shitty Twitter story where a woman talked about a boyfriend she had who would taunt people into going out to the parking lot to fight him and the feigned innocence by saying he was "just a birthday boy."

Transandrophobes used that term to try and equate us talking about our oppression to a cisgender man just taunting people into a fight and backing away when it was clearly "too much."

[smorksthings]

I wish that some people could understand that reading is hard for some people, like genuinely hard.

For me this becomes a problem when I'm playing CRPJs with large blocks of text but no narration, it becomes a hassle to try and read the whole thing even if it's necessary text for context. My ADHD combined with dyslexia makes it so hard to focus, especially when the text becomes whole pages long.

I could go on with how it also becomes a nuisance with my academic career, but we're talking about video games right now; when I've tried looking for a TTS reader for a particular video game I really like, the top answer I found at first was a Reddit post with several different users talking about how if you can't read the massive walls of text in the game, maybe you shouldn't be playing CRPGs, and how games like BG3 have spoiled people (fyi, the original Baldur's Gate games also had narrators for their large blocks of texts/chapter endings, this isn't new).

It's exhausting to try and find accommodations for MYSELF and have other people indirectly judge me. I'm happy you don't have my struggles, but just because you don't need TTS narration to focus on the story doesn't mean that no one should get that technology!

[smorksthings]

My parents: we failed as parents, our child can't even eat most vegetables and fruits! We should have done more, introduced them earlier in life!

My autism:

[smorksthings]

Oh yay, a blog I've followed for YEARS is a transandrophobe. Fun.

[smorksthings]

Going from university back to work has been a total blow. All my friends are elsewhere right now so I don't see them and I'm in a completely new location for work so I'm still getting to know everyone, and somehow, it makes it harder to deal with the fact that people misgender me all the time.

I can deal with customers fine, I don't know these people and will probably see them once a month. Maybe twice or more if they do small groceries instead of large ones, but it's still not as common as at least once or more a week, depending on the schedule, that I see my coworkers.

And even though some of them know my pronouns and identity, I really don't want to explain my gender to everyone. Especially not to people who stress me the fuck out (aka my manager).

I miss my friends, I miss having people respect my gender and pronouns.

[smorksthings]

it’s so annoying to watch people nitpick words, it’s not helpful it’s not useful and making new words for things that we need to talk about just makes it harder to talk about things together

It really is. Plus, we've tried, we've tried SEVERAL times. We can't sidetrack ourselves to try and find a new word every time someone got upset or uncomfortable.

Let them be uncomfortable and/or upset, we aren't here to make them comfortable. In fact, I'd say we need to make people more uncomfortable. That only means they can't look away and have to acknowledge something, even if it isn't in our favour. The word is getting out and that's better than being forced to erase ourselves over and over to make people happy with us.

[smorksthings]

Guess it's that time of the month again.

Edit: Please do not suggest words that do not center or hold our masculinity as a primary asset of our oppression. I do not believe that our masculinity is not a part of why we are oppressed in a unique way and it is erasure to say our masculinity is not a core part of our oppression.

[ID. A classic Simpsons meme where a bus driver asks to not make him tap the sign again before tapping the sign again. The sign says "stop suggesting we find another word for transandrophobia. We have tried and they didn't accept it. A new word won't fix bigotry when bigots one goal is to erase us, they only want to take our words from us." End ID.]

[smorksthings]

I can't believe this is still something that needs repeating.

If you assume that when people talk about transandrophobes and how they're exhausted about them and YOU assume that they're talking about trans women, YOU need to do some introspection as to why you think that.

I'm not going to say there are any bad faith actors out there who when they say transandrophobe mean trans women, but you cannot apply that coat of paint to everyone you see talk about transandrophobia. That is what bad faith interpretation is at its core and you're hurting more people than anything.

Really, in a way, you're being transmisogynistic because you're assuming that in all instances a transandrophobe is a trans woman.

[punkerduckiememes]

[punkerduckiememes]

[smorksthings]

For this pride, shout out to my fellow t-brothers with endometriosis. I'm feeling it right now.

[smorksthings]

I'm not entirely sure how to tag this and it's kind of out of my wheelhouse but God I'm legitimately tired of white people using the term "caucasian". Stop it, you're not caucasian, you are white.

Fuck, I'd rather you be pretentious and pretend you're Italian as a USian than use the term caucasian because at least you can say you have origins from a (majority) white nation!!!

Caucasian people are from the caucus region in Asia, fuck, there are black caucasians! Stop using the colonized word to describe your ethnicity or race. You are white.

[perverted-asexual]

Every day tumblr users get closer and closer to saying you can only be trans in a god honouring way.

[smorksthings]

I'm going to repost this because someone I blocked tried to reply to me but I can't see their comment anyways so.

Being trans is transgressive, of course. But being trans, especially in a way that is cis/heteronormative is not all that transgressive in comparison to being gender non-conforming. I don't want to attribute any kind of hierarchy to being "transgressive", but appealing to society's expectations of your gender is not exactly the most transgressive, especially when people in your own community will attack and harass you when present with traits from your AGAB and don't wish to change it.

So many of these transandrophobes alone will attack trans men for not passing well or "correctly" (i.e I remember tboy-cock being harassed by anons for having a "neck beard").

This is also forgetting how society treats non-binary folk and intersex folk — trans and cis intersex people.

I will not disagree that being trans in either way isn't already transgressive, but let's not pretend that even supposed allies don't treat those who do not intend to transition into cis/heteronormative aren't treated worse and aren't more transgressive.

[smorksthings]

Hey, so, I got the anon ages ago and I'm not going to respond to it but I want to make this boundary clear within the community.

I don't want you to vent/complain about something in my asks. I know it's going to sound really mean, but I frankly don't care about other people's opinions on mine or sad lives and traumas. Not unless you're a close friend.

I will rally behind my brothers against their oppression, but I don't want to hear about your trauma or worries or, you know, personal shit. That's personal, I don't want to deal with that, I'm not a professional psychologist and I already have to deal with my depression and stress being exacerbated by the fact that all my friends are elsewhere for summer and work being annoying as hell.

I know you want to find solace and understanding, I know you want me to comfort you. But I can't, I don't have any more energy to give outside of what I already have, and whatever I can spare has to either go to myself or my personal relationships.

(edit so I'm being clear: I'm talking about in my asks or DMs. Keep posting about your experiences. Don't slide it into my DMs or asks unprompted.)