| Synopsis: In which you tell Jason to touch himself. You watch.
| A/N: We need more sultry!reader fics. You’re telling me if you got a chance to spend the night with the Jason Todd, you’d spend it on your back?? Nah. Also if you like a more dominant reader, I wrote something a while back, you can find the fic here. Enjoy!
The night starts like any other, with a hot and breathless Jason carrying you to the bedroom like his life depends on it. His calloused hands grip your thighs, lifting them effortlessly to wrap around his waist. Your own hands roam over his chest, appreciating the toned muscles under his skin as well as the fact that he hadn’t bothered to put on a shirt. He kisses you deeply, tongues entangled and lips never leaving yours even as he maneuvers around the apartment towards your shared bed.
You laugh when you feel the air leaving your lungs as you fall onto the soft sheets, Jason gracefully landing beside you with a blissful groan.
“You have no fucking idea how much I missed you today, sweetheart” he sighs, his hands going to tuck the hair behind your ears, caressing your face with the reverence of a man starved. “I’ve been thinking about you like this for hours.”
Any other day, you would have melted under him like a puddle, and let your man kiss and fuck and do with you what he pleased for hours upon hours… but tonight wasn’t quite like the rest. Not exactly.
Tonight, you had other ideas.
He leans forward to close the distance, but you place a hand on his chest to stop him.
“No, not like that. Not tonight.”
He pulls back the moment he hears the word no leave your lips, always the gentleman even in the heat of the moment. His brows furrow in confusion. You give him a quick, reassuring kiss before you continue, adamant to halt any worried thought he may have.
“I want you,” you reassure, and the lustful look you give him emphasizes just as much. “I just… wanted to try something new tonight. Something I’ve been fantasizing about.”
He cocks his head to side, mostly confused but undeniably intrigued.
“Oh?” He asks, and you hold back a shy smile.
“Yeah, ‘oh’. Haven’t been able to stop thinking about it all week actually, if I’m being honest.”
Jason’s interest is 100% piqued now.
“Well… what kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t hear this out,” he quips, going in to press a tender kiss to your nose. “What did you have in mind, princess?”
You swallow, and take a steadying breath. It’s now or never.
“I want to watch you touch yourself.”
Your voice is sounder than you thought it would be, any nervousness you thought you’d have-- non-existent. There’s nothing shy about the bedroom eyes you give him now. In contrast, his cheeks go red immediately.
“You… you- want to watch me…?” He murmurs back dazed, like he can’t quite believe what he just heard. You nod back at him, your own cheeks warming in the process. It surprises you when you realize it’s not from shyness, but from need.
“Yes. Please… please stroke your cock for me, baby,” you whisper, and it takes everything in Jason’s power to remember how to breathe as he listens to you. “I want you to get up and pleasure yourself in front of me.”
He gulps as he contemplates this new request, mind going blank for a couple seconds before a growing ache between his legs brings Jason right back to earth. His eyes don’t meet yours for a moment, unable to maintain the burning stare he knows you’re giving him. Shyness and desire battle inside him for the briefest second, and he goes still as he mulls it over. While his mind raced, Jason was acutely aware that his lower half had already responded.
Worry begins to creep into your heart as you watch him, wondering if you went too far, if the request had somehow crossed the line between a tiny bit kinky and flat out overboard…
But then his green eyes darken, just a touch, and you know he’s all game. He pulls back, and starts to shuffle himself off the bed. Your heart skips a beat, and then it’s full-on hammering in your chest as you watch him slowly get up to his feet, his massive height hovering over you. You wonder if the anticipation of it all would be sexier than the actual act, but then he’s pulling at the drawstrings of his sweatpants, and you feel foolish for ever think so.
It feels teasing, how he takes his time, letting your eyes admire the vision that is his bare chest while he unties the strings with unhurried precision. It’s deliberate; it gives him a moment to calm his nerves, as well as revel in the hungry look you give him as he undresses for you. Who knew his girl could be so dirty?
By the time his pants fall to the ground, he’s rock hard and huge, and you struggle to hold back a gasp. Watching your eyes widen was the last boost his ego needed, and with a knowing smile, Jason is able to push the last of the lingering self-consciousness away.
Slowly, with eyes that never leave your face, he carefully wraps his fingers around his cock, and squeezes. You let out a shaky, excited breath, and he feels himself pulsate in response. He grits his teeth, desperate to keep some fucking semblance of collectedness in front of his girl, and then he’s moving. Up and down. Up, and down. He grunts at the feeling of his pulsing veins, encouraged by how coy you look just watching from the bed.
He pumps faster.
It really is a sight to behold, and you have to stop from pinching yourself. The beads of sweat running down his chest… his shallow breaths… the glazed look in his gorgeous green eyes… It’s the sexiest thing you’ve ever seen.
You’re quick to decide you want a closer view.
Biting your lip, you climb out of the bed, eyes never breaking contact with his. Playfully, you get down onto your knees and crawl closer towards him, reveling in the way he watches you like a hawk. You pause when you get right under him, a shiver running deep through your bones as you watch him continue to please himself no more than a few inches away.
A part of you wants to ravish him- take his cock in your mouth and suck him dry- but doing that means stopping the game, and you’ve only just started having fun. No… it’s much too soon for that.
Instead, you opt for leaning into him and pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses along his upper thighs, the sound of his rumbling groans like music to your ears. You dig your nails into his hips to balance yourself, the ache of your knees on the hardwood floor nothing more than background, and a problem for a later time. His free hand goes to push your hair out of the way, while the busier one squeezes his length even harder. He doesn’t stop, and neither do you.
Your boyfriend’s gasps of “Oh, God” and “fuck, baby” only encourage you to continue.
You place another countless kiss to his leg, ever so sweetly nipping at the toned flesh and licking at the hickey you know is forming. Your heart skips a beat as his panting moans shamelessly fill up the room. His cock twitches desperately above you, and a shiver runs down his spine when he realizes you noticed. It’s all so much… and yet, not enough.
You catch his eyes regarding you feverishly, and something hungrier stirs within you. With a look so dirty his legs nearly give out, you lean up and swipe your tongue along the crevice of his aching balls. His vision almost goes black and he chokes on his words. He hates how pathetic the resulting plea sounds from his mouth.
“Fuck! Shit, baby-,” he starts, and then he feels you take one into your mouth and suck, and it’s by the grace of God that he doesn’t spill himself onto the floor then and there.
If he wasn’t so dizzy with pleasure, he’d be dead with embarrassment at the sounds that were escaping him right now. His face is absolutely flushed, and the redness is not all from the physical act he was so shamelessly still performing for you. You see his eyes break contact for a fraction of a moment, and you squint, unhappy. Tonight, you were having none of that. You pull back and look at the man above you with a gaze so piercing it could kill him all over again.
“Look at me.”
Jason meets your eyes immediately. His pace stutters, but doesn’t stop.
“Look at me while you pleasure yourself,” you murmur, and your voice sounds almost like a purr. “Don’t look away, not for a moment. Look at me, and tell me how it good it feels.”
Jason can only exhale and nod in response. His cock throbs harder, and you both don’t miss the white droplet that leaks out. He had promised that tonight was about bringing your fantasies to life, and while he was hesitant to admit it out loud, Jason was enjoying this way more than he thought he would.
Besides, like hell he’d ever say no to his girl.
“Yes ma’am,” he says, and then he’s picking up the pace again, eyes boring into yours.
His eyes always followed you around—never unbearably. Instead, one could imagine that it felt like a safety net.
Or at least today, it's more like his eyes have morphed into hearts.
"Jay? You need something?" you ask, as you fold your laundry.
Nights like these are rare, when Jason doesn't leave the moment dusk bleeds across the sky. His vigilante gear is shoved into the closet, and the tension in his body finally melts as he sinks into the sheets.
"Just you." He turns his head to get a better look at you. His eyes trail over your features before they settle on your lips for the briefest moment. "C'mere."
You assume he wants to kiss you, so you do what any sane person dating Jason Todd would do.
You abandon the jeans you'd been folding and sit on the edge of the bed. Before you can even process what it is that he wants, you're being tugged into the middle. One arm loops around your waist, keeping you tucked against his side like a stuffed animal he can't sleep without.
"What're you—
He hands you a book. The same one he read to you a few days ago.
"Your turn," he says as if that explains everything.
You blink. "You want me to read to you?"
Jason shrugs and leans down to kiss the side of your head. "m'not doing the voices tonight," he mutters, breath fanning your ear.
"I'm not doing the voices," you complain. But you're already opening the book to where he left off.
A sleepy huff escapes him. "Read the book, sweetheart."
"Okay, but without the voices," you say again. And to make your point, you elbow him in the ribs.
he side-eyes you. "Doesn't matter."
"What doesn't?" you ask.
“the voices.” He tucks his face against your shoulder. "just wanna listen to yours.”
Summary: you come home, very drunk, and see a very hot guy sitting on your couch… so naturally you ask him out!
It starts with a simple, high-pitched gasp in the middle of your living room.
Jason is sitting on the couch in a gray t-shirt and sweatpants, laptop on his knees, mid-snack, when you stumble through the front door. You’re wearing one of his oversized jacket slung over your shoulders, your cheeks flushed red from two too many margaritas with your friends, and your hair a complete, chaotic masterpiece.
He sets his laptop aside immediately, a half-amused, half-concerned smirk already forming on his lips. "Hey, sweetheart. How was girls' night—"
He doesn't get to finish. The moment your eyes land on him, your hands fly to your face, covering your red-hot cheeks. You freeze in place, staring at him through your fingers as if you’ve just spotted a celebrity in a coffee shop.
"Oh," you whisper loud enough for the whole apartment complex to hear. "Oh my god."
Jason blinks, pausing. "What?"
You kick off your shoes—completely missing the rack—and take three deliberate, overly cautious, drunk steps toward the couch. Your eyes are wide, glassy, and completely starstruck.
"Who are you?" you ask, leaning over the back of the couch, resting your chin on your folded hands. You beam at him, giggling softly. "Because you are... so pretty. Like so hot. Has anyone ever told you that? You look like a whole movie star."
Jason slowly looks down at his faded t-shirt, then back up at you. A playful glint flickers in his blue eyes as the reality hits him: You have completely forgotten you're already dating him.
"A movie star, huh?" Jason drawls, leaning back against the cushions and crossing his arms over his chest. He bites down on the inside of his cheek to keep from bursting out laughing. "Can't say I hear that one often. I'm Jason."
"Jason," you sigh, the name rolling off your tongue like a melody. You sway slightly where you stand, blushing down to your collarbone. "That's a nice name. I'm... well, you know. I'm me."
"Nice to meet you, Me," he says softly, his voice dropping into that smooth, low register he knows makes you melt. "What's a girl like you doing flustered in my living room?"
"I live here! I think?" You look around the apartment, thoroughly confused for a split second, before your focus snaps right back to him like a magnet. You lean in closer, whispering conspiratorially, "Listen... I know this is crazy, but... are you single?"
You pause, then giggle, “wanna know a secret? I actually wanna marry you but I think asking you if you’re single is less advanced.”
Jason bites his lower lip, trying—and failing—to hide a massive grin. "Am I single? Well... that's a tough question."
Your face falls instantly into a dramatic, adorable pout, and you genuinely look devastated. "Oh no. You have a girlfriend?"
"I do," Jason says softly, watching your reaction.
"Is she pretty?" you ask, sniffling just a little bit, clearly heartbroken.
"She's gorgeous," Jason says, his voice softening. He reaches out, grabbing your wrist gently, and pulls you over the back of the couch until you tumble right onto his lap. You gasp, your hands landing flat against his chest, feeling the steady thump of his heart. "She’s got this ridiculously cute laugh, gets super giggly when she drinks, and is currently sitting on my lap looking at me like I hung the moon."
You stare at him, your brain slowly churning through the alcoholic fog.
1... 2... 3 seconds pass.
"Wait," you whisper, your eyes going wide. "I just drank and I am fairly giggly."
"You are."
"And I'm on your lap."
"You are."
"...I'm the pretty girlfriend?!"
Jason couldn't hold it back anymore; he threw his head back and laughed, the deep, rumbling sound vibrating through his chest against your palms. "Yes, dummy. You're the pretty girlfriend. We've been together for over a year."
A look of pure, unadulterated triumph washes over your face. You kick your feet up, burying your burning face right into the crook of his neck, muffled giggles spilling out against his skin. "I scored so hard," you mutter into his collar. "He's huge and he's mine."
"Yeah, yeah, you hit the lottery," Jason chuckled, his broad arms wrapping snugly around your waist, pulling you close so you wouldn't slide off. He kissed the top of your head, resting his chin on your hair. "Come on, baby. Let's get you some water and into bed before you try to ask me out again."
"Wait!" You pop your head back up, cheeks still bright red, poking his chest with a single finger. "So... does this mean you won't go on a date with me?"
Jason shook his head, a soft, fond smile softening his rugged features. "I'll take you on a date every single day of the week, sweetie. Now go to sleep."
Jason Todd is a sweetheart when you're drunk, but a complete mess when he is.
Whenever you decide to let loose a bit, whether to only get tipsy or just get smashed drunk, because the drinks were fruity and tasty--Jason is there. He will pick you up from wherever you went out to, or just help you back home if you attended a party together. He carries your heels for you and has you draped over his shoulder. You never have to worry about waking up with your makeup smudged all over the pillows, because he learned how to take it off for you. He puts you to bed, changes you into the most comfortable pyjamas you own and sits on the edge of the bed with makeup wipes or cotton pads soaked with micellar water. He even puts on some of that moisturiser you love so much.
Then he prepares the nightstand for the morning after: fills up your water bottle and adds ice, has painkillers on the go, a big bowl just in case you need it. And then he joins you in bed and cuddles you until you pass out, listening to your mumbles about how perfect he is and how much everything is spinning, and how you're never drinking again. He's absolutely holding your hair back in the bathroom, rubbing your back and carries you around if you're dead on your feet.
Drunk Jason however...
Oh that boy is a mess. He doesn't get drunk often, mind you. He needs to be alert all the time and it's just hard to let go. But if you reassure him hundreds of times that it's okay to have some fun once in a while, you make a mental note to never do it again. Drunk Jason is clingy, messy and absolutely adorable. You can barely bring the big guy home, but once you do, he's sprawled on the bed like a starfish. Groaning about his head, whining that he loves you so much. If you manage to get him ready for bed, which takes much longer than you'd like to admit, he's all over you. His hands are caressing you, his face is smushed between your breasts.
Can't forget about the drunken sex.
You try to explain to your endearing boyfriend that he's out of it and sex can wait, but he will just whine more. You can't help, but chuckle, before his lips are messily moving against yours and his hips are rutting into you clumsily. For half of it, Jason doesn't even realise he's not inside you. He's just grinding his cock against you like a needy puppy, but you let him. He's a whimpering mess, mumbling I love you's and you're so perfect all the time, until the pressure is too much. He cums so quickly when drunk and it's messy, adding another fifteen minutes to clean him and yourself up. You watch over him when he's passed out, already preparing for his hangover tomorrow morning.
in which you leave gotham for a not-so-long trip, and a deeply anxious jason tries to hide how much he hates letting you out of his sight, only to refuse to let you go for days the second you return.
Jason had been standing by the counter for twenty minutes, ostensibly making coffee he wasn't drinking, his eyes fixed on the open suitcase lying on the bed down the hall. Every clothes hanger that clicked, every zipper pulled, every small, mundane action of your packing seemed to strike a raw nerve he was trying very hard to cover up behind a posture of bored indifference.
He came down the hallway with that quiet, heavy footed tread of his, leaning his shoulder against the doorframe. His arms were crossed tight over his chest, shoulders broad and hunched just enough to betray the tension coiled in his neck.
"You really need three jackets?" he asked, his voice low, gravelly, and entirely lacking its usual casual bite. He gestured toward the bag with a sharp tilt of his chin. "It’s a trip, not an expedition to the arctic. You’re overpacking"
You paused, looking up from the bag where you were trying to fit the last few essentials. A soft, knowing smile tugged at your lips at the sheer transparency of his irritation. "It's cold where I'm going, Jay," you answered gently, folding the third jacket smaller to save space. "And knowing you, if I get a cold while I'm away, I'll never hear the end of it."
"I'm serious," he grumbled, refusing to look directly at you, though his gaze tracked your every move through his dark lashes. He stepped fully into the room, crossing over to the bed. Without asking, his large hands reached down to refold a sweater you had just set down. He did it meticulously, smoothing out imaginary wrinkles with unnecessary focus, just to have something to do with his hands. "Flights get delayed. Luggage gets lost. Half the places out there aren’t safe anyway, and you’re going to be carrying all this weight around by yourself."
"I can handle my own luggage, big guy," you replied softly, placing a hand over his busy ones to stop their restless movement. "I've planned out the route, the hotel is in a good area, and it's only a few days. It's going to go by fast."
"A few days is too long," Jason muttered under his breath, his hands coming to a halt under yours, though he didn't pull away.
As you reached down to pack a pair of shoes, his hand caught your wrist. He didn't squeeze, but the weight of his grip was absolute, grounding, heavy, and reluctant. His thumb brushed over the inside of your wrist once, measuring the steady pulse there, before he let out a short, harsh breath through his nose.
"Call me when you land," he commanded softly, the roughness in his voice slipping into something fiercely protective. "Not a text. A call. I don't care what time it is over there. You don't hit the pavement until I know you're off the plane."
"I will," you promised, turning your wrist in his grip so you could press your fingers against his palm. "First thing after I clear customs, I'm calling you. I swear."
He pulled you in then, sudden and unprompted, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and burying his face into the crook of your neck. The embrace was almost suffocating, broad chest pressed solid against yours, his heart thumping a heavy, steady rhythm. For a man who spent half his life pretending he didn't care about anything, the way he held you right before you left was always a full body confession. He didn't say I'll miss you. He just held on until the very last second, his breathing warm and ragged against your skin, letting you carry the weight of his anxiety with you.
Three days later, the return trip felt like a haze of jetlag and noise, but the moment you stepped into the arrival terminal, the atmosphere shifted.
Jason was standing near the edge of the crowd, away from the main flow of traffic, trying, and failing, to look like a regular guy waiting for a flight. He had his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his dark leather jacket, his eyes darting methodically over the faces coming through the gates. The moment his eyes landed on you, the tight, rigid set of his jaw visibly melted.
He didn't wait for you to drag your bag over. He closed the distance between you in four long, urgent strides.
Before you could even speak his name, he had hauled you straight off your feet, wrapping his arms tight around your waist and burying his face deep into your hair. He drew in a long, shuddering breath, taking in the familiar scent of you beneath the stale airport air, and held you suspended for several seconds just to prove to himself that you were actually there, solid and real in his arms.
"You took your sweet time" he muttered into your shoulder, his voice thick and rough. When he finally set you down, he didn't let go. One hand stayed clamped firmly on the back of your neck, his fingers threaded through your hair, while his thumb stroked your cheek bone with an intensity that bordered on fierce. His dark eyes searched your face, scanning every detail as if looking for any sign that the world had bruised you while you were out of his sight.
"Come on," he grunted, taking your heavy bag in his free hand without a second thought, while his other hand immediately slid down to interlock his fingers tightly with yours. "Let's get out of here."
The first night back, the clinginess wasn't loud, but it was absolute.
Jason didn't leave your side. If you went into the kitchen to get a glass of water, you’d turn around to find him leaning against the doorframe, watching you with quiet, hawkish intensity. If you sat on the sofa, he was right next to you, not just near you, but pressed up against your side, one heavy arm draped over your shoulders, pulling you into his side so tightly that your head rested against his chest.
By the second afternoon, the pattern hadn't broken; if anything, he’d settled deeper into it.
You were sitting on the couch trying to read, but Jason had effectively neutralized any possibility of productivity. He was lying down with his long frame stretched out across the cushions, his head resting squarely in your lap. One of his large hands was resting on your knee, his fingers lazily tracing random patterns over the fabric of your pants, while his other arm was tucked around your waist, tethering you to him.
"Jason," you murmured, running a hand through the dark hair at the crown of his head, your fingers catching slightly on the white streak near his forehead. "I need to get up for a second."
A low, rumbling groan came from his chest. His grip on your waist tightened instantly, pulling you down an inch lower.
"No," he said, simple and stubborn, his face burying deeper into your stomach.
"I've been sitting here for three hours."
"Good. You were gone for three hundred. You owe me." He turned his head slightly, peering up at you through dark, heavy lidded eyes. The sharp, violent edge he wore out on the streets of Gotham was entirely stripped away here, replaced by a quiet, protective possessiveness that he only ever allowed you to see. "You're staying right here."
"I was just going to grab my phone" you chuckled, your fingers massaging the base of his neck, feeling the thick tension in his muscles finally give way under your touch.
Jason reached down into his jacket pocket, which was tossed onto the floor beside the couch, pulled your phone out, and set it on your chest without even looking. "There. Problem solved. Don't move."
He brought your hand down from his hair to his mouth, pressing a long, warm kiss to the back of your knuckles, then to your palm, before resting your hand over his cheek. He held it there, his calloused skin warm against yours, his thumb absently rubbing your wrist where he had measured your pulse two weeks ago.
"I hated it," he admitted softly, the room quiet save for the distant murmur of Gotham traffic outside. He didn't look up, but the honesty in his voice was stark, stripped of any bravado. "Place felt like a morgue while you were gone. Couldn't sleep. Every time the floorboards creaked, I thought..." He let the sentence hang, shaking his head slightly.
He shifted, lifting his upper body just enough to rest his chin on your chest, looking up at you with a heavy, unwavering stare. His hand moved to wrap around the back of your neck, his thumb resting gently against your jaw line.
"You aren't going anywhere for a long time," he said, not as a command, but as a quiet, unspoken plea wrapped in his usual rough delivery. "Got it?"
You smiled, thumbing over the small scar near his lip. "Got it"
Jason grunted in satisfaction, leaning up just enough to press a deep, lingering kiss to your lips, slow, deliberate, and full of a quiet hunger that had been building for fourteen days. When he pulled back, he didn't move away; he just rested his forehead against yours, breathing in the quiet safety of the apartment, content to stay exactly where he was for as long as you'd let him.
sometimes on the tumblr app you click on an image to see it fullscreen and it will give you a completely different image it has sourced from the fucking aether. i hope they never fix this because i got flashbanged with an image of scooby doo calling me a ‘raggot’
my train of thought destroyed
jason todd's three bs- back, biceps and brain!
playing | second nature- clairo
Honestly, the sight should be illegal.
After a long, tiring day of classes and running all over Gotham, you finally finished all your remaining assignments and errands to complete. To give yourself a tap on your shoulder from the hard work, you decided to get a fun dinner to take home to the safety of your apartment, where your boyfriend was waiting for you as he left his job just a little while before you were done.
Meddling with the keys, you managed to open the door and automatically went to leave the stuff you were carrying on top of the kitchen’s island, talking into the silence of the home as you began to explain how your day was. Still moving around to set down all of your bags from the day, you barely glanced at the man lying on your couch who was looking at you with his full attention diverted towards your actions since you arrived.
When you started to explain a more dramatic part of your day, you turned towards him for the first time since you entered, and you finally got to take a good look at him, action that left you very much flabbergasted, all thoughts running from your head as you stared at him.
Jason was just laying on the couch, perched in a way that should definitely be uncomfortable for anyone, but he kept insisting that it was perfect to support his back and neck. He was shirtless, muscles on his upper back moving as his head turned to keep you in his sights constantly as you moved with precision all over the place.
On top of his sweatpants, a book was lying there with his bookmark in the middle, possible from when you entered the room and he diverted his attention to you. He had a calm, easy expression on his face, not a full-blown smile but also not the tense furrow in his brow whenever he left the confines of your apartment. His hair was a bit tousled, as if he had been tangling it involuntarily and tried to fix it once he realised what he was doing.
You were a bit flustered in the middle of the living room in front of him, at which he just beckoned you forward until you stood in front of him. From there, you could see his muscles even better, now appreciating how slivers of the setting daylight found themselves lying on top of his shoulders and upper chest. He seemed to relish the feeling, curling towards those hints of sun as you cat did, who was also near those sparse rays sprawled across his abdomen, purring loudly.
He was now smiling softly as his hands entwined with yours, pressing a kiss to your knuckles as you melted internally at his affections. Looking at each other in fondness, you properly greeted each other with muttered “Hi baby”s and “Hey sweetgeart”s while he sat up, moving both the book which you now realised was one of your favourites, and your cat to the side to focus on you.
His arms rippled and moved as he began stretching a bit to dull the ache in his joints, and you used the occasion to shamelessly stare at him before you began to dote on each other.
You could appreciate clearly how hard he worked on his physique, a young teenager once filled with anger who re-focused it on getting stronger became what is now a wall of safety for you, his family and friends and anyone who needed help. His back and arms were littered with scars, some fading, some bigger that hurted when it got colder, and some other with backstories he feared to remember.
Nonetheless, there he stood, shoulders as big as your head creaking and groaning as he moved them over his head and to the sides, and in that latter position, his ridiculously huge arms spread out wide too. A funny fact you found out recently is that your cat also adored Jason’s biceps, as she also rested her head over the top of the big muscle while she cuddled up to both of you, mimicking her owner, aka, you.
His back looked a bit tight from the position, and you made a mental note to give him a gentle rub later, totally not using the opportunity to touch and admire his back in any way shape or form you could imagine. Sometimes, when he finished a workout and came home directly after instead of going to back to work, you swear you could see every individual muscle move as he made tea for you, also shirtless (you both knew what he was doing; neither said anything).
But being realistically, you also admired how his brain worked. He was so smart and so sharp in a way that never let you feel small of dumb that it got attractive over time: yes, you never thought he wasn’t intelligent, but seeing him solve a case Dick struggled with over a simple phone call with the younger one where he just figured it out instantly and gave him the following steps was still one of the hottest things he’d done.
Jason finally stood up and engulfed you with those muscles you were just daydreaming about and laid his forehead in the crook of your neck, sighing deeply as he tried to pull you closer to him. You also used the occasion to gently glide your nails over his back knowing how much he adored the feeling, and he shivered gently at the movements, never pulling away for a second.
Now feeling instantly recharged, he returned to his standing position, his hands moving to grab your waist as you kept shamelessly admiring his body. “Hey, sweetheart, eyes up here” he called over, bemused at the situation. “Hmm, but I don’t know where to look at. Like, yes, you are so face-attractive but goddamn, I come home to this every night and you have a proper personality and I know I sound like a fangirl right now but I don’t care, let me love on you a bit, you always do so for me either way” you replied with an amused glint in you eyes.
Grabbing tighter onto your waist as he smiled with a wicked grin plastered on his face, you could see the gears turning in his head as he quickly maneuvered to grab onto your tights and back to carry you bridal style. Letting out a silly noise and giggles in surprise, you were smiling widely as he looked at you and kissed you softly, moving you over to where he was before.
Caging you with his body, he laid you down gently on the couch and he finally rested his body on top of your, making sure that the position was comfortable and he wasn’t crushing you down. Your cat made her presence known again as she lazily stretched too from the corner where she was dozed off, and she paraded her way onto Jason’s exposed back, purring once again. Moving your hands to rest near her, you went back to scratching softly the area as your boyfriend melted deeper into you.
Thinking about how arguing with you is always a lost cause for Jason Todd.
It always starts with something silly, for exemple how he doesn't get your love for diet coke.
"It doesn't even taste like coke," he states, getting unreasonably worked up.
"No, it does not. 'Cause it tastes way better!" you reply, just as worked up.
Then, just like clockwork, the two of you stop talking and just stare at each other. You bat your pretty eyes at him, giving him that look — the one accompanied by a slight pout — which makes Jason instantly fold.
He cups you face between his rough hands and starts wiping away your pout with lingering kisses.
A small, triumphant smile slowly appears on you face, and Jason is not bothered in the least, just wanting to please you — even if it means momentarily abandoning his stance on regular coke.
The argument is long forgotten anyway just a few minutes later once he has you pinned underneath him, gasping and aching for more.
Needless to say, the next day your fridge is stacked with cans of diet coke.
A/N: Easing back into writing with small, little thoughts because I physically cannot write anything longer. I'm desperately looking for some newfound inspiration. I low-key hate this.
“Why don’t you use ai” idk man beyond the obvious environmental and “this machine causes psychosis and encourages people to kill themselves” thing I think asking the equivalent of a solid D student who is also a pathological liar if they can answer my question/do the work for me seems pretty fucking stupid
── (18+) in which big strong redhood makes you choke him during sex! ꨄ︎ ; unprotected p in v, breathplay, cowgirl position, praise, pet names (baby)
JASON TODD who insists you choke him during sex.
it happened accidentally— your hand resting against his throat while riding him, pressing down a little too hard against the hot, flushed skin, and not noticing until he suddenly spoke up.
"you fuckin' choking me?" he makes a noise between a scoff and a groan, voice low and gravely, breaking you out of your pleasure induced trance. your hand flies away like you've been burned, your hips faltering in their desperate bouncing movement on his cock. "ohgod–" your eyes widen, "jay- m'so sorry baby" you rake your eyes over his body for any sign of discomfort, did you hurt him? is he okay? did he--
"i didn't say stop."
it catches you off-guard, that gruff voice telling you to do something to him rather than the other way around. his large, calloused palms meet the fat of your hips, directing your movements so that his cock starts plunging in and out of your sopping cunt once again. he's amused, watching your brows furrow softly in confusion and pleasure, a shit eating grin plastered on his face.
"cmon, baby" he gives your ass a slap, enough to have your velvet heat fluttering around him. "you're not dumb, are you?" he speaks so casually, taking entertainment in the way you can't decide what to do. you shake your head hesistantly, earning a low, soft chuckle from him. "yeah, you're a smart girl..." he trails off, taking your hands in his and bringing them to rest against his neck. "just press down, s'all you gotta do" he reassures you, practically cooing at you to strangle him.
and what can you do when he's looking at you like that-- eyes half-lidded, lips kiss-swollen and bitten, his face tinted a pretty pink, expression one of pure hunger, except for wrap your fingers around his throat and squeeze.
the smirk on his face falters, his face twisting in pleasure when you start bouncing on his dick again, lewd plap plap plap! sounds filling the room, your hands around his neck an added stimulation. you tighten your fingers where they rest around his throat, feeling the muscle and tendons underneath his skin. the hitch of his breath as that pressure increases.
"there ya' go" he wheezes out a string of praises, what's left of his breath fanning over your hot skin. his cock is practically impaling you, your orgasm building unusually quick low in in your tummy at the sight of him. the veins are popping on his forehead, skin a deep, beet red from the blood flooding his head.
his eyes are half-lidded, like he's about to pass out. his hips bucking up into your heat speak for him though, he's right where he wants to be.
you could laugh at this if he wasn't so deep that you could feel him in your throat, your big, burly boyfriend being choked by someone nearly half his size. you're barely scratching the surface of "hurting him".
his mind is clouded with arousal, he's so dizzy that all he can focus on is you-- how beautiful you look cutting off his air, and how good you feel wrapped around his shaft, a creamy white base of slick forming at the base of his cock from just how long the two of you have been fucking. how did he get so lucky with a girl like you?
he chokes out a raspy groan when your thumb presses down harder on his airway, the exact thing that sends him over the edge. you cum together, because god, it's hot knowing jason todd is a masochist, that you abusing him is enough for him to cum quicker than he ever has.
"oh fuck--! baby--" his name comes out in a cry, tearing from your throat as your pussy clenches around him, leading you to forget that you're still controlling your boyfriends air intake.
as for jason, he simply cannot make any noise, because of the two hands not allowing him to, except for a low, wheezing groan, while his load inside of you-- hot and sticky pulsing into your womb. he never signals for you to let up though, he wouldn't dare to tap out.
when you finally pull away, you watch him sputter at the sudden abundance of air, clearing his throat and letting that cocky smile take its place back on his face.
there's remnants of your hands— dark purple fingerprints blooming beautifully on the sides of his neck. you wish he could see, because you know he would get hard all over again from the prospect of his girl marking him up.
the bruises almost look like hickeys, something far more vanilla than what he just had you do to him.
he doesn't pull out, simply coaxes you down to rest against his broad chest, pressing soft kisses to your hairline like he's the one who should apologize.
"fuck-- we gotta start doin' that more" he's still catching his breath, chest heaving up and down. you can't exactly tell what he means by "more", if he'll make you choke him, or if he'll choke you.
Thinking about how girls nights out always end up with at least one of your girlfriends complaining about their dating lives.
You try to be supportive, humming and agreeing with their complaints, but it never takes long for one of them to jokingly point out that you have no reason to complain: your boyfriend is perfect.
And truth is, yes, Dick Grayson is the perfect boyfriend.
At first you were convinced that he would change overtime, once you both got out of the honeymoon phase. But three years have passed since he officially became your boyfriend, and he never changed. If anything, he only improved.
Take tonight for example. When you mentioned that you would be going out, without even looking up from the dishes he was washing, he offered to drive you to the bar and pick you up. No questions asked.
As you were getting ready, he never hurried you, opting for sitting at a careful distance: enough to give you the space you needed, but still close enough to admire you.
Just as you were about to add your finishing touches, he came up behind you, resting his hands on your hips. His lips traced slowly the side of your neck, making you shiver at the sensation.
"Can I taste you, pretty please?"
The request was nothing unusual. Dick loves eating you out before you have to go out somewhere. Or at any time of the day, for that matter. He insists that it makes you glow. And who are you to deny him?
You didn't have to repeat yourself any further. He draged you to your shared bed and made you lay on top of it, careful not to mess up your hair.
Gently, and with barely concealed eagerness, he lifted your dress and moved your lace panties to the side, before diving in and eating you out like a man starved.
After drawing at least one orgasm out of you — preferably two — he cleaned you up, pulled down your dress and drove you to the bar, making sure you were not even a minute late.
The kiss you gave him — after he asked for one with his puppy dog eyes — tasted faintly of your arousal, but neither of you cared as some of your lipgloss got on his lips.
So when you hear your friend's comment, you can do nothing but agree with her.
Your boyfriend is perfect.
A/N: I once saw a video once of a girl talking about her boyfriend eating her out and driving her to a girls night out immediately after. I haven't been the same since.
“meant it” | nerdystoner!jason | university au | smut
summary: jason’s finding it hard seeing you, seemingly, move on from him so his solution is to keep his distance. fortunately, he can’t even manage that.
tags + extras: college!au, angst, smoking, drinking, smut, reader is (was) a virgin. car sex. jealousy, frat houses mentioned, bsfs!brother, yes the reader has more than one bsf. plottwist. dick is in a frat because of course out of all the batboys it would be him. jason is not in a frat cause he wouldn’t join it, he’d think its stupid but would stick around for some parties.
wc: 15k
a/n: so so so sorry, life got busy and the university experience was killing me as it is the characters in this au lmao. anyway, i hope this lives up to your expectations and doesn’t disappoint. unfortunately i couldn’t proofread cause i had my first amateur boxing match last night (and won yay) so i didn’t have time…
the funny thing about saying something out loud is that it solidifies itself by whoever heard it.
being caught off guard and saying something you’d never really considered before and it takes root in your life as your word is held against you. something about this whole situation reminded you of the fundamentals of primary school and the golden rules you were supposed to follow.
treat others the way you want to be treated.
think before you speak.
something must’ve gotten lost in translation because everything seems to be going to shit.
back inside of the house, jason is nowhere to be found.
you duck into his room, check grayson’s, and then ultimately decide to check back downstairs again. nothing. pulling out your phone to call jason when you run into grayson, walking right into him as you descend down the stairs.
“woah, slow down,” he holds your shoulders straight, “where are we going?”
waving your phone around vaguely, “i was looking for jason but i think he left?”
grayson nods, “yeah. he went on a liquor run with roy and wally.”
“huh,” nodding back, you hum, “liquor run.”
“yeah, it’s a pool party this time so guaranteed need a couple kegs and something strong for shots.” continuing while you walk with him to the now fixed window and shooing away barry and oliver who were standing way too close to comfort. “and whoever did this shit is gonna get their ass beat when i find them.”
“makes sense.” you barely reply, watching as people move around you but not really paying attention.
the last few days have been, eventful to say the least. then hal threw in that curveball that just caused another spiral of what you and jason even were. he apologized, yes, and of course you want jason. you’ll always want jason but you’ve spent so much time now on him, trying to get over him to no avail. weeks of your life distancing yourself only to get pulled back to him again.
saying yes to hal felt like more of an unconscious decision than you actually wanting to date him.
it’s probably mean but he threw you off when he suddenly asked you out and it almost felt like a sign. that you had options and that not being with jason wasn’t the end of the world even if it felt like it. maybe hal could give you some perspective.
it’s not like hal jordan is ugly by any means. you’ve seen him without a shirt and he’s insanely ripped, much like grayson is. he’s pretty too, the kind that would make anyone do a double take.
but in the back of yours mind you still knew.
he’s not jason.
“hey,” grayson suddenly says, “you keep zoning out on me.”
you turn to face him, “yeah, sorry.”
he shakes his head and points a finger at your forehead, “don’t apologize. what’s going on in that head of yours?”
with a heavy sigh and no patience left to lie, “i hooked up with jason again.”
grayson’s eyes widen, “oh, i didn’t need to know that—” he sighs, “uh, isn’t that a good thing?”
you nod slowly, “i think so.”
from behind the two of you, the party began to get bigger. glassing clinking and laughter ringing. roaring music as tim whispered something in connor’s ear and he clicked away on his phone. hal had already joined the crowd with his shirt crooked on his body and a hand clasped around a beer. the front door was opening and closing more than you could count and the bodies stacking inside were more than the previous ones you’d been to probably because it was one of the last one of the school year.
but jason wasn’t back yet.
someone bumps into you from behind and touches your waist to steady you from falling.
“oops sorry. ‘m a clutz.” laughing as she lets go of your side to get a better look at you. “wait, i know you!”
she smiles bright, her hair dark and beautiful. her eyes had the prettiest sparkle to them. you blink at the girl in front of you and exchange a glance with grayson.
“are you in my program?” you ask.
grayson cuts in, “no, this is donna. you met her at the last party.”
you nod slowly as the gears turn you recognize her face from spin the bottle. “oh, hey. sorry.”
“you were dating jason right?” a clear slur in her voice that told you’d she’d been drinking for a while before getting here, “ugh, i was talking to roy and he’s such a dog. both of them are honestly. i just can’t believe jason made that bet about you seriously. all my sisters are uber pissed and swore to keep away for at least another week.”
your stomach drops at her words and the creeping feeling of embarrassment takes form. though another form of jealousy crept too.
“you all heard?” you ask quietly.
donna nods immediately, “of course, everyone kinda did. but and roy is still up jade’s ass so whatever.”
she doesn’t notice how your demeanour shifts just barely. the creeping unease from everyone knowing your existence from a bet, no matter how much reassurance jason gave you. it was finally in front of you. you’ve seen how you’re known to people you don’t really even know—as a joke.
twisting his head slightly, dick read how her words were hitting you before you’d even said anything yourself. he gestures to her hand quickly. “you’re drinking pink whitney?”
she shrugs and holds her cup up, “yup. come on, don’t act like it’s not good.”
“never said that it’s just banned from this frat. too many bad memories.”
a distant shout makes grayson turn his attention that way again. when you turn too, you see conner with blood dripping down his neck and a face palming tim. the needle in conners hand is barely visible from where you were but you could see enough to know he was adjusting a new piece of metal in his lip, matching the other side.
he pierced himself and didn’t even seem fazed.
“for fucks sake,” grayson murmurs under his breath before putting hand up to both of you and storming over towards them.
“i told him not to do it,” tim sighs and shrugs while conner looks pleased with himself, already tonguing at the snake bite.
grayson grabs the towel and holds it to his lip himself, like the responsible guy he tries to be. “this is the last time you pierce yourself dude. just go to the fucking tattoo parlor across the street.”
beneath the paper towel, conner laughs but it comes out more muffled, “‘n pay sixty-five bucks? ya right.”
you’d probably been smiling at their interaction or just tuned out so much that donna tapped you again.
“do you want get a drink too? i’m basically out.”
glancing towards the front door once more, like it could bring jason back faster, you slowly nod. the two of you move towards the kitchen and donna starts talking about astrology and zodiac signs. she explains how her sign is compatible with most people but you don’t quite remember what her sign even was from how fast she talked. by the time she’s pouring you a drink in a solo cup and handing it to you, she starts talking about roy again.
“—he’s a dick. a real piece of work but when we’re alone he’s sweet. i don’t get it.” she sighs before gesturing towards you vaguely at how zoned out you were again, “but i’m sure jason is similar right? they are bestfriends.”
though you answer immediately, your blood warm from the alcohol already, “no. he’s actually really sweet in every situation. just kindhearted like it’s in his blood, i don’t know, it’s kind of infuriating.”
she nods along, “he keeps to himself yeah. just a real ass for making that bet over you babe. i’m sorry about that.”
grimacing softly, you sigh, “why’re you sorry? it’s not like you did it.”
“i mean, it just doesn’t make sense.” donna dramatically groans, “he’s in love with you! why’d do men do terrible things to the women they love?”
you down the rest of your cup and immediately regret it with a groan of disgust before shrugging, “it’s not love. it’s like a race of endurance. who can take more hardship from someone whose supposed to make their life easier.”
she laughs with her pretty teeth out, bumping shoulders with you, “you sound like you’ve had a lot of shitty boyfriends.”
“one was enough,” you genuinely laugh too before it simmers into something deeper, “and he’s not shitty and that’s the problem.”
she frowns, “oh babe, i know exactly what you mean.”
the front door continues to open and close, inviting new people in and letting others out. between the shuffling, the two of you slide onto the counter, legs crossed towards the other. that’s when a thought occurs to you again and it demands to be discovered. you gulp before you speak.
“um… did you really mean what you said earlier? that everyone heard what roy said?”
donna’s frown deepens before she nods, “the people around us and other sorority did.”
“who cares though? after you graduate, you’ll never gonna see these losers again.”
she jumps off the counter, “let’s go, show ‘em how hot you are.”
sipping your drink, you glancing towards the party through the doorway. you blink at her than down at your clothes that wasn’t meant for a party.
“nah i’m good in here.” lying right through your teeth like you were any form of good right now.
she rolls her eyes and drags you anyways, back towards the loud music. as soon as you’re back you see shots being poured by roy and wally. the two of them arguing over who had better taste in music while you walked over with donna. when you look to donna to tell her to ignore roy, she’s already got hearts in her eyes and you sigh softly to yourself.
“—all you listen to is fucking faye webster,” roy sighs, “i bet you listen to taylor swift too.”
wally gasps like he’s offended, “okay that’s where i draw the line.”
when roy opens his mouth again, conner drapes his arms around both of their shoulders, “both of you have shit taste, how’s that?”
roy squints at tim over conners shoulder, though tim only smiled tightly and tilts his head towards where you stood with donna. he catches donnas eye and he shoots her a stupid smile, the kind you recognize as the one he makes to women he wants to sleep with.
in that moment you try really hard not to roll your eyes.
instead, you step slightly in front of her like a protective boyfriend or something even though you’d just met her. shaking your head when he catches your eye cause you know what roy is like. and in the little time you’d known donna, you know how he makes her feel with so little words.
“have you seen jason?” you say with a tilt of your head.
roy shrugs, “he’s probably still bringing the keg inside.”
you frown, “you let him bring a whole keg in alone?”
“have you seen the man?” asking with genuine confusion towards you, “he’s fucking ripped.”
as if you even have to think about it, you nod and turn to go find him. donna’s already making her way towards roy before you can tell her anything, so you continue your way toward the garage.
the music slowly gets quieter as you walk down the hall and into the laundry room. ignoring the people making out on top of the washer and dryer as you open the garage door and find it open and jason’s mustang still on. but he was nowhere to be found there. traces of ash on the ground as you circle the car and turn the corner to no avail. jason wasn’t there. you turn towards the front door and don’t find him. with an exasperated groan, you stomp towards the backyard door to try again at finding him because there’s no way he just left his car on right?
“you looking for something?” a husky voice calls out.
before you’d even touched the backyard door, you spin on your heel to find jason there. blunt burning between his fingers as he leaned against his car again.
“yeah actually.” as you approach him, “you.”
his face stays the same as he takes another drag. eyes not lifting from you and the same stoic look on them.
“so, you found me.” he says as he blows the smoke out. the grey clouding around him and the sour smell of marijuana radiating off of him. heady in the way that distracts you.
you nod like it means something and lean next to him. “you always smoke in the same spot so if you were trying to hide, you should try harder.”
jason sighs and stretches his shoulders, “i guess i’m getting predictable.”
the moment pauses as you try to decipher the meaning in his words. “i didn’t say it was a bad thing.”
his eyes meet yours as he pushes off the wall. “neither did i.”
making quick work to ash out his barely lit joint, he flicks it away as he pivots and moves to go back inside without even a glance towards your direction. something in your stomach twists. you frown to yourself before deciding to ask him.
“did i do something wrong?”
jason turns his head just enough to look at you. his hand still on the door as he pulls it open. the smile that he gives you barely reaches his eyes as that same exhaustion you’d seen earlier had returned.
“nah ma, you didn’t do anything.”
then the door follows behind him, leaving you in the cold air to think to yourself. just long enough to decide that you should go home and give the both of you some space.
space you knew would eat away at your sanity.
luckily, you’re not much of a drinker so waking up early wasn’t hard to do after last night.
getting to gordon’s presentation on his new paper was easier than your morning practicals, at least today. naturally as his assistant and amateur researcher, you’d been invited to attend the gala thrown by the sponsors.
by the time you arrived, the guests were set up and the audience was packed. gordon’s standing by the bar with some of the law professors, holding a darkened drink that was definitely bitter and pretentious. a select few men with their hair slicked back had gathered around where gordon stood. conversing and laughing in a pitch that exhibited more wealth than you’d ever known.
your heels were already killing you as you walked off the subway since they had to host this on the upper east side of town. you tug at your neatly arranged dress and step forward to mingle like you were supposed to. forced to talk to the people that funded gordon’s PhD and his years of research that every other person had found ridiculous.
the sound of your name being called made you turn towards it.
“when’d you get here sweetheart?” gordon smiled as he gestured you towards the rest of them.
he was always such a strong and respected figure that you saw him like a parent. since your first year, you’d taken classes with him and his years of extensive police work had drawn you in. gordon might’ve pushed you really hard like he wanted you to do well because he really did. in the back of his mind he knew you were brilliant and wanted to nourish it before you finally graduated.
that’s why you had a full year of research assistance under your belt thanks to him.
the men around him parted for you and you exchanged a gentle hello. “i just got here actually.”
he nods, “good. great timing. i’d like you to meet some people!” gesturing towards the people in crisp suits with swirling glasses. “this is clifford devoe.”
the name rang bells immediately from how poorly gordan talked about him in private to you. gordans eyes looked to you then to the man again, silently saying a thousand words. you fill in the blanks for him and offer your hand to clifford when he raises his to take yours.
“you must be the generous one the university appointed. it’s so nice to finally meet you.”
with your hand gently taken into his hand, the feeling of unease that radiated off of him was unmistakable. you hide the grimace that he caused when he repeats your name to you.
“hm, yes.” still holding your hand a moment too long. dragging his eyes over you before letting you pull away. “i’ve seen what you’d contributed to the study on adolescent rehabilitation and prison reform. truly sickening that we still debate the human nature of criminals.”
you’re sure you’re failing terribly at hiding your distaste now. “don’t you think it’s a little silly to attribute it all to human nature?”
from beside you gordan seems to purse his lips. though clifford scoffs and smiles small, “of course a young woman such as yourself would think so as if that’s some revolutionary thought.” laughing through his words.
the condescension was clear from his rude mouth. you could taste the bitterness he spewed.
you hum, “why of course a man such as yourself would believe no one is redeemable but him.”
from beside him, the black haired man in the suit catches your eye briefly before chuckling into his glass. narrowing your eyes at the shape of his eyebrows because they were just so familiar, the thick arches that mimicked wings. it reminded you of jason and his thick set brows that were studiously perfect without having touched them.
gordon clears his throat and nudges you softly before saying your name to change the subject.
“have you seen the completed poster with all the statistics? it looks really great, let me show you.”
before you can say anything else, he’s already been walking away, turning his head to look at you just to ensure you’re following him. with a polite and contrasting goodbye, you take your leave. feeling proud of yourself as
when you get to the poster, gordon’s standing there squinting like he’s got something bad to say. but he just shakes his head and points to the men you’d left at the bar, still conversing like no tension had ever raised.
“he pays for the damn project sweetheart, we can’t insult him no matter how much of an ass he may be.”
you shrug and sigh before mumbling. “at least not to his face right?”
despite the situation, gordan laughs. “yeah, at least not to his face.” patting your back and turning the both of you towards the poster. “now, did i tell you that they approved you as a peer-reviewed scholar once you’ve graduated?”
looking towards the statistics scattered across the large poster, you saw all the datasets you’d condensed. all the graphs and charts that you’d made and the spreadsheets that made you feel like you were losing brain cells. you didn’t think you’d get being a contributor to research paper on your record too. just being an assistant was enough. with a tilt of your head at the meticulous pie chart you made so long ago you forgot about, you hum.
“but i’m not gonna be here so how could i contribute anything anyway?”
“well if you stay at gotham for your masters,” he shakes your shoulder gently, the way the father would when he’s proud but doesn’t wanna say it with words aloud. “i won’t publish until october.”
that stopped your mind from thinking about anything else but what just came out of his mouth.
eyes widening as you turn to him. “wait, really?”
this would set you apart from other applicants in your graduate program and give you a better chance at getting into it.
he smiles with crinkles around his eyes and nods because you’d only been talking about this since you started. also because someone had already mentioned your interest to him.
“do i get any credit for that part of it?” a voice from behind you sound a d you turn to face it.
but you didn’t expect for it to be bruce wayne.
you blink at your friends dad that you’d only seen a handful of times before. now you recall how he was sat at the bar earlier, just his eyes visible and the realization of how they looked having distracted you enough. still you smile and lean forward to take his hand when he offers it.
“mr. wayne, it’s so nice to see you. i didn’t think you’d be here.”
his hand was firm and certain. righteous in a way that he radiated the energy even when you would just briefly see him.
“gordon invited me along with a couple business partners. it’s good to see you again. what’s it been? 2 years?” bruce gives a small smile while he places his drink on the table next to you. looking to gordon, bruce switches his gaze between him and the poster, “i’ve been thinking, you could go back as commissioner and implement these ideas yourself gordon.”
a snort escapes gordon as he shakes his head, “no way, and leave my cushiony tenure position?” laughing as he gestures to the poster. “you see the bridge in socioeconomic status and educational attainment? those positions don’t require degrees. they just need intelligence and compassion that comes naturally. you got a knack for those bruce.”
the two of them share a knowing glance before someone approaches gordon to ask about something with his focus group, taking away his attention. he excuses himself before he leaves you there with bruce. for a moment, it’s quiet while bruce watches the party, taking slow sips of his bourbon.
you watch with him, noticing how the people in this party were mostly the types who didn’t need to worry about these things. about the ones that are unfairly prosecuted or treated as villainous for trying to survive. no one in this room held that title the way you’d seen women and men alike being pressed. surveillance was created by them for them, to protect them.
that’s what made you want to get involved in gordon’s study. a chance to use theory and practice in a way that actually mattered.
“you think very loudly.” bruce suddenly says.
your head turns to his, still looking out at the people conversing and moving about. she’s trained over nothing and everything at once.
“my bad,” you laugh nervously.
he only shoots you another smile, “don’t be. your mind is brilliant and meant to think. don’t burn yourself out doing it too much. it’s a habit i’ve yet to get my sons to figure out too.”
sons. right.
nodding your head, you change the subject. “you know gordon pretty well?”
he nods too. “knew him back when he was still an officer. the man is a saint personified.”
distracted from the topic at hand, you try to stay focused, nodding along and silently staring at where bruce’s eyes were trained. though bruce is incredibly attentive, and he immediately notices how you’d been looking. fixing his watch that didn’t need any adjusting as he speaks.
“dick tells me jason misses you.”
nearly choking on your spit, you look to bruce again, forgetting to not look so surprised. “what?”
behind his professionalism, something turns warmer. “he’s taking academics more seriously. i’ve always told him he’s got the smarts when he puts his mind to it but i’m sure you’ve seen how shrugs it off.”
not knowing what to say, you nod him along.
“…he even applied for a couple graduate programs thanks to you and got into them all across the country.” lifting his glass and sipping.
“i didn’t know he applied.” you admit.
“it’s force of habit i guess,” he shrugs. “he didn’t even tell me when he got into gotham university. just started attending classes and brushed it off like it was no big deal which i assure you, it is.”
frowning at his fathers admission, “that’s kinda sad. he’s probably the smartest person i know.”
suddenly bruce smiles at you, his grin something more of fond remembrance. he adjusts his suit and sniffs just audible enough for you to notice. then his smile falls as he meets the eye of someone across from the room and they wave to one another.
“if you see my son, please let him know for me that his bike has been replaced. and that i need him to answer the phone when i call him.” touching your wrist softly and bidding you goodbye.
with nothing to say or actualize the fact with, you’d turned your attention back to the poster. the words swirling themselves until you’d forgotten what the last year collecting was about.
suddenly you’re glad there’s noone around to ask you about it, cause you’re not sure you’d know.
“dude just back that shit up on me.” grayson coos.
from in front of him, wally groans. “no dude, it’s not gonna fit in there anyways. just ask someone else to.”
“i’ll make it fit just shut up and do it.”
on the couch a phone rings. both of the boys ignore it and instead continuing muttering at the other. taking turns groaning as wally pushes the desk, hal shakes his head from the other side of the room.
“you guys know you could do this literally anywhere else.”
“and you could help, you know?” grayson sighs as he drops the horribly built ikea desk wally built. looking hal up and down, dick furrows his brow. “why are you even dressed like that?”
brushing off his shirt with absolutely no lint on it, hal smooths out the folds in his button up. grinning from ear to ear like a kid who’d won a prize. “I have a date.”
the boys all turn to look at him.
“oh,” wally lets the desk back on the ground, ignoring how grayson groans when it hits his foot. “a hot date huh? she got a friend?”
like perfectly horrible timing, jason’s walking into the living room. to grab his phone he’d forgotten that had unknowingly been ringing and buzzing. his eyes fall on hal on the chair immediately, trailing up his form with sharp eyes. dick clears his throat at the sight.
“your phones been ringing.” he simply says.
“yeah, i heard.” jason murmurs as he clears past hal wordlessly and heads straight to the kitchen as though he wanted nothing to do with him.
as though his very being annoyed him enough that he couldn’t spare him a glance right now. the sudden presence and departure of jason had thrown the energy of the room off for a moment, not because of him but how far hals discomfort radiated. wally takes a long look between grayson and hal before nodding towards where jason had disappeared behind the wall of.
“what’s his problem?” he sits next to hal on the couch, legs going up lazily on the coffee table.
hal opened his mouth to fill in the blanks, but grayson chimes in first, his eyes trained pointedly on hal as he answers wally. “his girl left him for some douchebag in a frat.”
awkwardly the air fills as wally nods. “right…”
“i’m gonna uh—” hal stands and leaves his cup on the table. “head out now. i’m picking her up and all.”
perched on the ikea desk, grayson nods with an expression that looks disapproving. “i expect you back around midnight cinderella. no hooking up on your first date.”
wally snorts, “hasn’t stopped him before.”
“shut up west.” effectively cutting through the tension again. “i’m serious, i’m putting the latch on after.”
the other two stay silent. hal nodding knowingly before grabbing his key and leaving them with a quiet goodbye. wally furrows his brows only minutes later as he contemplates. while the room drifts back into a silence and grayson leaves to check the kitchen only to find it empty, wally itches his chin.
“gray?” mumbling vaguely.
he hums in acknowledgment as he types away on his phone.
“is the girl he’s going out with jason’s girl?”
that gets him to look up from his phone and bring his hand out. hovering over wally’s forehead before flicking him with a sharp seething sound from his lips. grayson huffs.
“no shit sherlock. now stop straining yourself and get off your ass. move this desk out of my living room.”
this entire situation was so fucked.
the night had hardly started and hal already fucked up in ways you knew jason would never. when he messaged you about confirming the date, he wouldn’t say where it would be. so instead, you opted to ask what to wear.
big. fucking. mistake.
never ask a man what to where to any occasion because they will give you false, misleading information and clearly hal jordan was no exception.
he told you to dress casual, something everyday, he said. thankfully you chose to wear a simple black dress otherwise you’d be entirely underdressed for this fancy restaurant he took you to. now he’s sitting across from you, flipping through the menu gracefully like he’s a food connoisseur. occasionally humming as he reads out the name of the dish to you.
“would you like the house caviar? it’s genuinely the best thing you’ll find in the tri-state area.” eyes twinkling beautifully under the romantic ambience lighting.
if it were any other period of your life, you might really, truly like him. the way he took charge and pushed to ask you out was hot. he found a way to wiggle into your life and he took what he wanted. hal was good looking, smart, and he had a good head on his shoulders. but somehow you found yourself looking into his eyes like they were interesting. found yourself staring at the orange illuminating his skin like it were the most familiar thing, and watching the flames flicker in his eyes.
staring at the flames that reminded you of him.
the warmth grew on your skin as his face morphed everytime you blinked and the love ached. your heart ached at the thought of him.
he touches your hand, “you okay?”
“huh?” you shut your eyes and look back at him quickly, shaking the distraction off. “sorry i missed what you asked.”
his thumb strokes the back of your hand soothingly. the action grounds you from the thoughts the swirled. “if you’d like caviar to try. the mussels are delicious too.”
shooting him a reassuring smile, you shake your head. “oh um, sure. whatever you’d like.”
“but would you like it?” he counters.
“probably not.” you answer honestly. “sorry.”
he smiles, “don’t apologize. it’s good to know though, next time i’ll take you somewhere not fish related.”
vaguely you nod and try to smile though you’re sure it comes out insincere. hal only frowns and squeezes your hand like he’d known you’d needed some reassurance to guide your thoughts.
“we can still go home.” suddenly he says. “i mean i don’t want to, shit, i don’t care if jason keeps moping around and cries himself to sleep cause we’re here. i know what i want unlike him and that’s you.”
you blink slowly, letting his declaration find footing in your mind. technically he was right. you had these second thoughts because you weren’t even sure of this date would go ahead or if hal really did like you. it’s almost like he reads your mind when he tilts his head to look harder at you.
“—he doesn’t decide if we like eachother. i’d be damned if i let him get in the way of me and pretty girl just cause he fumbled her.”
the waiter comes by before you can speak through your parted lips and offers more wine. hal smiles and nods at the waiter, his warm hand still holding yours. it only occurred then that you were the one making this awkward, not him. the waiter pours your drinks and hal lifts his with his free hand, gesturing you to do the same. clinking the glasses, he swirls the cup and sips, his eyes trained on yours as you mirror him.
setting his drink back down and letting you take your hand back, hal orders for the both of you. part of you wasn’t sure how to feel, him taking that initiative to place an order of what you’d like to eat but also partially annoyed that he’d assumed what you’d like. or maybe he just did what he pleased. regardless, you were kind of glad he’d said something to the waiter cause the names of the dishes on this menu was absolutely insane. continually you look around the space, taking in the gorgeous lighting and the artwork that definitely costs thousands to maintain here. he watches your face while you stare at the tapestry behind him.
“do you like art then?”
you nod your head, still looking at the painting behind him. “i can appreciate it for sure.”
his eyes don’t falter, still staring at you while you’re looking around. “so can i.”
when you look to him, he’s got his head in one of his hands, smiling fainting with those dimples just deep enough to notice. he blinks at you, still giddy. “don’t mind me. i’m taking it in.”
you raise a brow at him. “taking in me or this place?”
“would it be wrong if i said both?”
heat rushes to his ears as soon as the words leave his mouth. it only makes you feel like imploding from how sweet he was being. fighting the urge to smile until he breaks into a soft laughter and you return the same. shaking your head and looking up the the chandelier hanging just next to you again. hal follows your gaze.
“you’ve looked at that chandelier at least eight times now.” this time looking with you like it’s the most interesting thing in the world.
“sorry,” you laugh. “i haven’t been anywhere this nice before.”
he tops off your drinks and leans his elbows on the table in improper etiquette. “don’t worry about apologizing. i’m not much of fancy restaurant guy myself.”
pointedly, you eye him. his effortlessly handsome outfit and crisp button up shirt said otherwise.
with a smile, your narrow your eyes at him. “could’ve fooled me jordan.”
“i mean,” he raises his hands in surrender. “i don’t even know what these forks are for. i usually like eating with the little one at home.”
a genuine smile returns on your face as you lean closer just as he’s been. “i’m pretty sure that’s supposed to be a sign of neurodivergence.”
“a fork?” he challenges. “you know what, you’re smart and pretty, i believe anything you say.”
lightly you smack his arm and shake your head, calling him stupid with no malice as you sipped your drink. after a couple more minutes, the waiter comes out with your food. as soon as you take a bite, you look up at him wide eyed and make a sound of approval.
hal smiles like he’s won the lottery. “yeah? it’s good?”
with your eyes still closed now, you shake your head and chew. “very good.”
pushing your plate to him, he laughs and takes a forkful to try. only seconds later moaning egregiously enough that the older people in the tables next to you have dirty looks.
“this, is better than sex.” he admits more loudly than he needs to.
“really selling yourself short there,” you laughed.
blinking he laughs. “i mean, sex is objectively good right. but if the girls not feeling it then it’s never good. as a man, i’m objectively not as good as this pasta.”
this only makes you laugh harder. “that still didn’t make any sense.”
your mind eases off of jason for a moment as he presses you for information about school and your future. he listens so intently that it makes you feel respected and valued.
hal had ordered the caviar he was anxiously wanted you to try and reluctantly you’d made some excuse not to. hal shrugs and eats the rest while you’re not sure whether to be endeared or slightly horrified. but even this wasn’t an issue.
the problem was exactly that. hal jordan had no red flags for you to focus on. nothing for you to say so you could argue that you weren’t ready or that he was rude enough to warrant never seeing him again. he was quite the opposite of being crude. the date was far from terrible. he’d picked you up from your place and even came up to your floor to walk you down. flowers waited for you on the passenger seat once he got you there.
even after the dinner was over and hal had paid for the bill, he wrapped his coat around you and respectfully walked you of the building with a hovering hand. still unsure if he could touch you but not ready enough to ask to. he held the door open as he let you back into his car. drove you back to your apartment and walked you up the stairs all over again.
shamefully, all you could backtrack to was jason.
all you could imagine was the parallels to him at your front door, waiting for you to open it. now you were opening your heart to a boy you didn’t pay much mind to a month ago, no matter how physically attractive he was.
but hal had no problems to blame your inability to fall into to. no real issues to back up this feeling that he wasn’t yours because he isn’t jason.
you unlock your front door and push it open, standing in he doorway with the lillies he’d bought you. he stands behind you with his hands in his pocket and a sweet smile that should’ve made you melt, instead you felt like stone.
“thank you for tonight hal. i had a lot of fun.”
shrugging and nodding with that perfect, unfamiliar look on his face, he speaks. “i did too. i really hope i can take you out again soon, maybe something less fancy? this time i can cook for you?”
the thought only made you swirl further.
distant memories that felt closer than before reappeared. jason cooking in your kitchen with a soft hum coming from his throat as he chopped and stirred. him feeding you something saucy and cheesy before he kissed your lips to wipe the residue off. his hands travelling down your thighs while he pressed against you with his lame apron still on. his voice by your ear saying all the sweet things you’d ever wanted to hear.
now you wanted to vomit.
you nod, looking into each of hal’s eyes and letting him lean in closer as he stares at your lips. the intention was clear and you felt frozen in place, but it translates as permission. interpreted as want as you stare longingly not at him but through him and imagine the face of the boy you love so dearly.
he leans further in and presses his soft lips to yours, deepening it as his hand came up to hold your head. though you don’t move from your place. you didn’t reach out to touch his head back or let go of the flowers. instead your grip loosened a little and you let your head go a limp as he held you closer, though his lips somehow felt colder than the last ones you’d touched. then he pulls away, gasping slightly and smiling with his eyes closed in satisfaction.
“you’re so perfect.” whispering before he kisses your cheek and pulls away. “good night gorgeous.”
listening as his footsteps depart and you stand there with the flowers hanging low, petals facing the floor. after a minute you quietly slip into your house, a new sense of discomfort bubbling. you shut the door behind you and lean against it, flowers slipping from your fingers and hitting the floor with a soft thud.
a shudder runs though you.
you’re not sure how many minutes are spent like this, thoughts making you spin and taking root in your mind. the memories of jason and uneasy guilt that you didn’t believe you should even harbour but did.
somehow you felt angry, not with hal, and not even with jason, but with yourself.
frustration bloomed. slow, hot tears rush down your cheeks as you bury your head in your hands.
what the fuck were you doing?
the door shuts behind him with a thud, a soft groan on his lips as he slips his shoes off.
everyone should be asleep in the frat house now. it’s nearly one in the morning and he’s lucky grayson didn’t lock him out. but hal notices a light on in the kitchen, and something told him he wasn’t going to be let off so easily.
quietly hal creeps toward the kitchen, pulling off his belt as he approaches and leaves it on the table in the hall like he’d had a long day at work.
“how’s your date?” a voice grumbles.
hal nearly jumps, “jeez, fuck—jason? what’re you doing up?”
from the dining table jason grumbles again. dimly lit but just visible enough, hal spots a beer and a ashtray in front of him. “couldn’t sleep.”
stalking a little closer, hal turns on another light. “waiting up for me to get home i assume?”
“doesn’t matter,” he quickly answers. “whatever forget i asked.” getting up and throwing his beer out.
hal only stands there, watching him move and murmuring a quiet, “alright then…”
then jason turns around. he freezes in the doorway before he turns to hal, something on his face that meant he was serious. “just don’t… hurt her, alright?”
“you mean like you did?” crossing his arms across his chest as he blankly stares at jason.
“yeah,” jason agrees, his eyes shining with a soft sheen that told hal he was clearly emotional while he was out. then he resorts to threatening. “don’t do what i did cause i swear to god i’ll make you regret it jordan.”
though hal sees how he seemed defensive without any real malice. jason seems genuinely sad as though he’s realized what he done just as he was weeks ago, moping around the house. this time he only seemed defeated, and it didn’t seem worth it to keep dragging jason’s past along.
easing back toward the table, hal shrugs him off. “look man,” sighing quietly, “you don’t have anything to worry about.”
jason perks up as he looks back to hal again. “what do you mean?”
“i mean,” shuffling his feet as he mentally prepares himself to reassure jason. “she seemed distracted the whole night. like she’s in her own head thinking about something else. it wasn’t until we got to her apartment that she—”
before he knew it jason was in his face, dangerously close. “you went to her place?” anger in his tone.
“i didn’t go into her place, i just dropped her off to her front door. no big deal. it’s not like we fucked or anything.”
his mouth opens and closes again like he’s going to ask him something but he doesn’t. instead he takes a backwards step and nods slowly. “right. good. you should be seeing her get home. it’s uh, safer that way.”
squinting his eyes like jason was entirely transparent despite how he tried to make himself seem, hal shakes his head. the tension falls from its rising crescendo and hal leans onto the table as jason anxiously taps his foot. the two of them unsure how to proceed from here. then grayson walks into the kitchen, yawning and rubbing at his eyes.
“you idiots whisper yell very loudly.” turning his head to hal to hone in on him. “didn’t i say be back earlier?”
“well you didn’t lock the door.” shooting a cheeky smile that grayson doesn’t find amusing.
jason uses the opportunity to excuse himself and takes a bottle of water from the fridge. tugging on the drawstrings of his hoodie as he walks out. “night.”
the two boys return the sentiment and grayson turns back to hal, before jason is too far to miss their words. “how’d it go? you kiss her?”
from the staircase, jason stayed put there and held his breath. waiting for hal’s response to what he knew he had no right to be angry over. the milliseconds it takes him to respond felt like an eternity to jason.
hal chuckles quietly, “it went good. really good. i’m gonna take her out again next week.”
grayson nods expectantly. “you didn’t answer the second part.”
“yeah,” hal starts with a fond smile on his face, “i kissed her.”
letting out a slow, controlled breath from his nose, jason stares into the abyss ahead of him. at the dark unlit hallway that lead to his room and stalks towards it without thinking about it.
he doesn’t stay long enough to hear what his brother says and goes straight to his room.
your only lecture today was the most boring one to date.
students had fallen asleep on their desks across the lecture hall, theatre seating giving you great view to see exactly what everyone was up to. you were still distracted from the events that unfolded this the last week alone and how you’d gone a date with hal only two days prior.
the thing is, you hadn’t told anyone about it yet. you hadn’t seen cassandra or grayson. you hadn’t even heard roy’s loud mouth in a week let alone seen jason.
now you were finishing up your notes and cross referencing it to the readings to understand what concepts overlapped. highlighting the theories that worked in contemporary cases and found something to discredit it for your final paper coming up. the professor spoke quickly as he went through the importance of ethics as a researcher. how you’d need to inform the participant of their role in your work and how they play an important part in pinpointing change.
how it was your job to be honest and responsible. to ensure you’ve spoke nothing but the truth to the people you’d involved. all you wanted now was to talk to jason. not that you’re sure what you’d say, just that his voice could ease your mind from everything else.
once the lecture is over, you’re the first one to leave. a sweet treat and coffee was in order for the fruits of your labour today—getting out of bed and going to a lecture.
the cafe air is always warm and inviting. the scent of arabian beans and baked goods drawing you closer to the counter. it’s a blessing that it’s located right at the edge of campus too, so when the library was too packed, you’d head here.
you take your drink and a house made brownie to head to the booth seat by the window. watching the clear blue sky and listening to the chatter in the cafe. you pull out your laptop and notebook, cracking your knuckles in anticipation for what awaits you and how much studying you needed to catch up on. no matter how hard you prepared, there was always more to do in university. plus, being a research assistant meant you’d have to push your school work aside to aid in a project.
right as you open a new tab and click your pen—you see him.
jason walked into the store with his headphones on and his bag slung over his shoulder. he heads straight for the booth in front of you and you track his movements without making it obvious. though when he passes by your table, he slows down. his eyes fall over you as fast as he looked away, and you feel a sense of disappointment wash over you. then, he just slides into his seat and all you can see is his hair poking out the top of the booth from tall he is in comparison.
why were you disappointed that he didn’t really say hi, you’re the one who kinda ghosted him.
to yourself you blink. at the laptop you blink harder.
no, you’re not being crazy right? why didn’t he reach out anyway? is this all justified to him like he doesn’t really even care? you guys have been studying together for a while now, and he always joins you so boyfriend or not, why didn’t he? aren’t you guys friends?
you’re standing up before you know it, grabbing your things and roughly shoving it in your bag. the reasoning had convinced you enough that he was the one being weird because he totally was.
didn’t jason even say you did nothing wrong the other night?
“hey,” you say standing next to his booth.
he lifts his headphone from one ear, “uh hi.”
“why didn’t you sit with me?”
blinking as he pauses his music, jason slides his headphones off and gestures you to sit. quietly you do.
“i assumed you were busy.” he says as you sit.
“i wasn’t.” more timidly than you intended to.
he shrugs slightly, “it looked like you were.”
for a moment you still. maybe you were right. maybe he doesn’t want anything to do with you anymore. but why won’t he just say it out loud?
jason fiddles with his headphones for a second before he decides the grain of the wooden table was more interesting. you however, weren’t amused. in fact, you were quite confused as to why he’d been avoiding you entirely.
“was it something that i said?“ plainly, you ask.
jason sighs and looks you in the eyes fully for the first time since you sat down. “we haven’t talked in days, what could you have said?”
“exactly,” nodding his sentiment along, “you’ve been avoiding me and i can’t figure out why…”
“i’ve just been busy.” he lies.
“liar.” you call him out. “we have the same classes.”
with his hands, he gestures slyly. “look,” not realizing how his tone gave him away. “you didn’t say anything wrong.”
“so i did something then.” you correct.
jason grumbles and says your name. “no, now you’re putting words in my mouth. we, you and i, we’re good. you don’t owe me anything ma. i just want you to be happy.”
the nickname makes your stomach flutter regardless. jason looks to his phone to a message from roy and sighs before standing up again.
but you’re thinking over the meaning behind his words. i just want you to be happy. you don’t owe me anything. where the hell was that coming from?
“i gotta go.” shoving his headphones into his bag and getting out of the booth.
“oh, already?” you try and fail to hide your disappointment.
he only nods, “i’ll see you around princess.”
then he walks off.
the meaning behind his words only swirled you more confused. the thoughts filling your mind and sending mixed signals throughout. his sudden cold demeanour had you thinking and overthinking, letting them sink through the fabric of your clothes and onto your skin like a brand you felt shameful wearing as it clicked.
fuck, jason knew.
“you’ve gotta be kidding me.”
grayson has always been terrible at hiding his actual feelings with you. he could hardly even mask it as he stretches his legs out for his run and shakes his head.
“you’re still in love with him. of course you are! you guys are both playing racket ball with my last couple of brain cells.” pulling his leg behind him into a deep stretch.
burying your face in the pillow on his bed, you try not to scream.
lucky jason wasn’t home according to grayson. he had gone up to the cottage to grab his bike apparently and decided to spend the weekend there so he wouldn’t be back until monday.
folding to lay his palms flat in the ground, he effortlessly continues. “i never liked the hal thing for the record. i’d prefer keeping you in the family.”
“gray, you’re not helpful at all.” you murmur from his pillow.
sighing, he stands upright. “alright. fine. you tell me then.” striding closer and ruffling you hair obnoxiously. “do you really love him?”
from the pillows you lift your head and look up at his watchful eyes, a arch in his brow that demanded honesty. slowly you nod.
“i think he made me understand what it means and i’ll always want him.” you admit.
grayson shakes his head at your response as you sit upright. “that’s not what i asked though. do you love him? because if you’re using hal to move on, that’s a disservice to both of you. hal and yourself.”
“not jason?” you raise a brow.
“nope.” he quickly answers. “that boy made his bed the first time he messed with you. everything else is fair game in my mind.”
that pulls a genuine laugh out of you. his honesty only making his statement funnier to you.
“aye, i’m serious. jason hurt you once, so i’m not sweating you trying to move on, even if it’s a little fast for you.” patting your shoulder softly as he moves back towards the door.
though a sinking guilt still held you, he made you feel a little better. “thanks gray.”
“anytime,” he smiles. “now you have no excuse to miss the party i’m throwing you.”
everything in your face drops, both in disbelief and shock. “for me? what?”
this only makes him smile wider. “ha, perfect keep that surprised face when everyone shows up. it’s not everyday someone gets into grad school like haven’t been gushing over it since their first year.”
before you can grumble his name or protest another party after last weekends where jason vaguely told you, “you did nothing ma.” grayson is already out the door. stomping down the stairs as his open door lets the sound of his voice travel.
“wear something nice please!”
the walk over to the frat house was obnoxious as the campus was packed. people gathered across the field with drinks and blankets, music and loud students celebrating their final days on campus.
there was no choice for you but to attend since grayson practically forced you to go.
opening the door to the house was where you saw just how much bigger this party was than he told you. loud music and synthetic smoke mixed to create a barrier that could make you feel intoxicated just by being there.
by the stairs, there was a group of people lounging and smoking. a huge bong between them and a couple joints being passed between the group. then there was people just standing near the door, lingering and talking. mostly flirting. in the living room was a game of spin the bottle and another group dancing to dancehall.
you hear your name being called just seconds before someone hands you a drink and you gracefully accept. grayson approaches you and eyes the cup.
“what’re you doing accepting random drinks when i made you a special punch eh?” wrapping his arm around your shoulder and walking you both towards the kitchen.
you laugh as he spins you by your finger and whistles at your outfit. “you actually listened and wore a skirt.”
gushing beside him is donna, roy’s arm lazily around her waist. “oh my god. you look so hot!”
taking in her attire you admire her. her black dress with sparkles that looked stars in a night sky. she was so effortlessly gorgeous.
“thanks.” you smile. “so are you. that dress is made for you.”
donna laughs and picks up a solo cup, handing it to grayson to pour as roy nods his head at you. then he whispers in her ear and grayson steals your attention once again bu handing you a full cup of punch that you just knew was 90% alcohol and 10% punch.
“this, my beautiful friend, is made solely for you.”
clinking his plastic cup with yours before taking a swig. reluctantly you do the same, taking a long sip of the drink made to inebriate you clearly. the taste made you wince and shake your head, hanging your tongue out of your mouth as you grimace.
“what did you put in this grayson?” you wince.
he laughs and rubs your back as you cough. “oh you know, seltzer, lime, vodka, don’t worry about it. it’s mean to get you drunk and let loose before you’re in that stuck up institution without me.”
“you’re in an institution right now.” you blink.
for a moment he thinks, then he shrugs. “whatever, did you eat yet?”
“uh. not dinner if that’s what you mean.”
he tsks at you and opens the cabinet, tossing a protein bar at you. you catch it and eye the bar before his face like you’d asked, why without saying the words. he gets it of course.
“cause i don’t want you puking at a party meant for you. so eat it please.” he kisses the back of your head dramatically and you could already tell just how drunk he was.
humourlessly, you let out a small laugh and shake your head. but you don’t miss when grayson catches roy’s eye. he tilts his head and mouths something that you would’ve missed if his distraction had worked. roy looks to grayson and shrugs, and his words you can make out.
i don’t know.
“girl,” donna snaps you out of your trance. “you look too good to stand around.” dragging you out of the kitchen by your wrists.
you’re still sipping your drink as she pulls you over, needing the liquid courage as she brings you into the empty space. she’s already starting to dance a little while you rest your drink on the table. moving her hips next to yours and humming thoughtfully to the song. she bumps your hip with hers.
“come on!” she laughs and you can’t help but laugh too.
the liquid bringing you more confidence as you start to raise your hands in sync with her and let the beat thump through your body. slowly, you bring your arms up and down your body, swaying and letting your hair fall behind you. donna’s got her hands on your hips experimentally, moving you around and whooping. you play along and grind on her like she’s your man here. then you see stephanie and cassandra just lounging by the couches and you gesture them over.
they rise and dance with eachother, inching closer until all you could smell radiating off of everyone nearby was the intoxicating marijuana and alcohol that ruined you like no other. but the name didn’t stick, and the blunt from between cassandra’s fingers made its way to your lips as she placed it there. smiling at you and loudly saying.
“i’m glad you left your house smarty pants.”
you roll your eyes and blow out the smoke in her direction, the sensations intensifying as you grew more intoxicated. leaning closer to her face, you whisper yell, “why don’t you go dance with your girlfriend yeah?”
cassandra laughs and offers you another hit that you so gracefully accept, twirling as you take a long drag and pass it back over. she moves her way back towards stephanie and does the same in putting the blunt between her lips. you catch stephanie hollowing her cheeks and urging her closer, blowing the smoke right in her mouth.
you couldn’t help the pang of jealousy that rose inside you. what they had, you wanted so badly. you practically had it with jason, but now your here swirling in your thoughts because a smell and an action now attributed itself to him in your mind. slowly you sway over and slow your dancing, the thoughts filling you up in a way you hated.
a hand grazes your side and spins you to face them. a smile on his face that practically echoed his intentions.
“hey gorgeous.” hal greets you. “you look real good.”
you blink up at him, a little tipsy and definitely a little high. the cross fade making you open enough to lower your inhibitions. you smile back.
“hi hal, so do you.” letting his hands go around your waist so he could move with you slowly.
the people around you are grinding on eachother, but you knew well enough that that’s not why you wanted. instead, you move his hands that travelled lower and place them on your waist. he doesn’t even question it and lets you use him for support as you grabbed your cup and took another sip.
from the corner of your eye you see a girl touching up on a guy, his back turned so all you could see was the ripple of hard muscle under his shirt. but the way he moved was too familiar.
your breath hitched as you watched the scene unfold.
the redheaded girl dragged her hand down his chest as he turns to the side, one of his hands hovering over hers and the other flat at his side. she’s mouthing something close to his ear and he tilts his head to hear it. the air from the room felt like it was being sucked out as you saw his face. the girl giggles as jason whispers back, and you feel your heart pounding in your chest.
quickly you turn away and take a giant gulp. unknowingly you had been gripping at hal’s chest and he had just let you. his eyes followed where yours had led and he frowns slightly as you pull away to down your drink.
“you okay?” he suddenly asks.
you clear your throat. “yeah, i’m fine,” fake smiling to sell your words.
“don’t do that,” he rasps in your ear. “it’s okay to still love him.”
that takes you back and you look up to him, his hands still locked around your waist.
“what?” you quietly say.
he smiles like it’s the easiest thing. “you heard me. it’s not a crime to be in love. hell, he’s a lucky guy to have a woman as beautiful and driven as you.”
the implication made your face burn. he knew you’d been in love with jason all this time, but he didn’t want to make you feel bad about it.
your lips part as you rasp his name as though in apology. though hal just shakes his head.
“it’s okay, i’m fine. i knew you liked him all this time, i kinda assumed so when you declined the second date. i thought i could get you to see there was more out there. more than him but part of me just always knew, it would always be jason.” smiling sweetly.
taking a moment to look into his eyes, you gauge his sincerity. hal only mirrors everything he said because he meant it deeply, and that somehow made it worse. you feel your heart twist.
“i’m sorry,” voice breathy as you purse your lips.
he just smiles and shakes his head, looking up to where jason was before he spins you around. “let’s dance over there yeah?”
feeling his energy shift, you frown and turn around anyway.
big mistake.
you could feel your heart breaking into couple dozen pieces. the girl had her hands in his hair as though they’d just kissed, and you’re standing here feeling like an idiot as she runs her fingers through jason’s hair.
suddenly this party didn’t feel so fun anymore. a small sigh escapes you as you abruptly turn back around to hal, hand touching his chest like you needed it to keep you sane. he clasps his hand over yours and tilts your head up at him.
“it’s okay,” he whispers close by your ear. “you can show him what he’s missing.”
before you could ask what he’d met, he lowers his face to yours and presses his lips against you. a gentle peck meant to prove something that you weren’t even sure you wanted to show. a muffled sound of surprise gets swallowed by his as he deepens the kiss, opening one of his eyes just to see if jason was looking. you feel him smile against your lips as your wide eyes watch his, looking past you to ensure that jason knew exactly what he meant by what he’d been missing.
jason never wanted to come to this party. he’d told grayson as much when called him and told him to stay longer at the cottage because he didn’t want him to bother you.
he was happy for you of course. the fact that you’d gotten into the school of your choice and got what you’d deserve was everything he could have ever hoped for. you were the one person he was sure deserved every part of this.
though jason couldn’t stay in those four walls any longer and not think about how close he was to having you again.
the memories rang like church bells on a sunday morning. there was no escaping it.
now he’s come back to the frat house to go rot in his room when he found that someone already made their way up here and stole his bong. entirely annoyed and grumpy over many different reasons, he made his way downstairs, still in his black tee and grey sweatpants like he didn’t belong there.
as soon as he’s met with the scent of alcohol, jason grimaces from the last time he’d been drinking and recalled the events. he moves his way towards the living room to get away from all the things mixed in the punch that’s was in the kitchen.
though only two steps into the living room, he sees you—dancing. a slight wick of sweat on your brow as you moved carefree, hands on your friends shoulders while her hands were in the air. the way you moved was intoxicating enough for him. the air tightened and the room quieted as he saw you there and jason felt himself moving closer without even realizing, just magnetized to you especially now.
he made it a point to see who else was nearby, watching stephanie take cassandra’s hand and dance closer. then he averted his gaze to the men by the wall and saw the one person he definitely didn’t want to see.
hal fucking jordan.
the blood in his veins boiled for reasons he didn’t want to voice. something tore through his skin like it wanted to break free and grab him by the collar. part of jason wanted to physically fight him, no reason than for how close he’d gotten to you. but you kissed him. or maybe hal kissed you. either way jason knew you well enough to know you wouldn’t kiss him if you didn’t like him or at least didn’t see it heading that way.
jason sighs lowly as he sees hal down the rest of his cup and make his way over to you.
maybe he should get to you first, he thought.
no, you’re happy. at least you looked happy.
he talks himself out of it just as hal touches your hip. still halfway through lunging at him, someone touches jason’s shoulder and he turns to see roy standing next to a redheaded girl.
“jason, my friend here said she thinks you’re good looking.” straight to the point, roy says.
the girl smiles sheepishly, “hi.” her voice hoarse like she’d drank too much already. inebriated enough to have no social awareness.
roy smiles and steps behind her, shooting a wink at jason before leaving them to it. jason cusses under his breath before she drags her hand down his chest.
“woah, you’re like really fit.” giggling as she traces her hands down his pecks.
laughing uncomfortably, he takes her hands gently off his chest. “uh, thanks. did you come here with your friends?”
she hums and leans closer to him, the heady scent of alcohol on her breath as she gets closer. “they don’t mind though. do you mind?”
he looks over her shoulder to see hal with his hands around your waist, speaking in your ear too intimately for his comfort. he tenses at the action but watches as you do the same, your hand at your side clenching and your nails digging into your palms. watching as you bite your lip, not in the way he loved when you wanted him to touch you, but as though you were uncomfortable.
jason turns his attention back to her as she hooks her fingers in his waistband and quickly grabs her hands.
“woah, woah.” still uncomfortably laughing as he presses her hands to her stomach trying hard to keep her away. then he lets her go. “easy.”
“what?” she giggles, running her hands up his back and through his hair. “you got a girlfriend or something?”
immediately he nods, “yeah actually i’m supposed to go meet her so.” he backs up and takes her hands off him once again.
jason looks left and right and spots roy watching from afar. a stupid grin on his face as he waves at jason. giving him an annoyed look, jason gestures him closer and he reluctantly comes. feet slow as he approaches like jason’s an animal that could pounce on him at any moment.
“hey you two,” he points. “you guys alright?”
jason’s scoffs, “yeah asshole. can you make sure she gets to her friends? i don’t think she should be alone this drunk.”
the girl scoffs too, “i don’t need a babysitter.”
he shoots her a look before looking back to roy. the girl waves him off annoyed and moves behind roy to text on her phone. though roy puts his hand over his shoulder and sighs.
“look man, i was just trying to help. i mean she’s moved on, i feel like you should too. get laid and get over her y’know?” gripping his shoulder tight with one hand.
“no,” jason shakes his head. “i’m perfectly fine how i am, thanks.”
“i don’t know dude. i feel like all this yearning isn’t healthy.” roy shrugs and sips his beer.
jason pulls his arm off of him and sideeyes roy like he’s personally offended him. “hal said they kissed once, sure, but i don’t think she really likes him like that.”
“really?” roy says with a grimace on his face, pointing ahead as he stares. “are you sure about that?”
“what do you mean?”
heart pounding in his chest as he follows roy’s gaze to where you stood. reality felt like it had sped through fast and time was slipping from between his fingers. the music faded like a dramatic movie as he watched hal, kissing you.
his lips parted as he watched, mouth gape and his hands balled into fists.
his filthy hands touched your chin and pulled you closer while the other rested on your waist. he watched as he deepened the kiss and leaned closer into you, back arching slightly as your hand unclenched and opened in the air.
jason scoffs loudly, “you have my car keys no?” suddenly asking roy.
roy stammers, pulling the keys from his pocket, “yeah but, are you good? i mean, considering what you just saw—”
jason grabs the keys and walks away quickly. making his way through the crowd and out to the garage, shutting the door behind him shut.
it was clear to him now—you were happier without him around.
only the loud bass and the thumping in your chest could be heard from between you. parting from hal, your hand immediately went up to your mouth. cupping your lips and wiping them unintentionally as you blinked up at him.
“what was that for?” huffing as you stared at him.
“what? i thought you wanted him to know you’re okay without him too.” he furrows his brows.
horrified, you turn around to where jason stood and find him nowhere to be seen. you flicker your gaze over the crowd, over the people, over the dancing bodies and the smoke filled air—but nothing.
jason wasn’t here anymore and that girl wasn’t around either. he was leaving again and now he had absolutely no reason to stay for you.
you push slightly as hal’s chest. “i know you mean well but, i didn’t want him to think—”
“shit,” hal interrupts, his hand at the back of his own neck rubbing soothingly. “i just assumed. fuck, i’m really sorry, i thought… i should’ve asked.”
you were sure you had tears in your eyes now. the thought of jason having to see you with someone else made you feel like your blood had frozen over. the thought of him with that girl, it made you want chewing through your own arm.
you stammer as you back away from him. “i have to find him.”
in recognition, he nods. “yeah, of course. i can explain it to him if anything.”
but you’ve already run from the living room, storming through the crowd like a madwoman. pushing past the drunk people in the hallway and storming up the stairs to his room.
you push the door open and jason isn’t there. just as fast as you went up, you ran back down, heart pounding in your ears as you caught a glimpse of roy sitting on the couch with the same girl as earlier in his lap. you stride right over to them.
“roy,” you gasp. “where’s jason?”
immediately he sees the raw emotion on your face. the way the colour seemed to drain from it and how you seemed like you were about to throw up from the looks of it. his expression shifts from the flirty front he puts on into the friendly, caring one he only recently exposed to you.
he nods slowly. “he took his car keys from me and left. he didn’t say where though i’m sorry.”
the girl in his lap tilts her head at you, clearing sizing you up. “isn’t that the grumpy tall guy? girl don’t even bother, he said he’s got a girlfriend.”
the pang in your chest only tightens as you realized he didn’t even kiss this girl. he told her he had a girlfriend and you knew there was no one else. he was talking about you. and now he’s seen you seemingly making out with hal in his brothers frat and everything fell into place. like pieces of a puzzle that was horribly mixed up.
roy snaps you out of it when he speaks up.
“i parked in the garage if that helps.” his lips in a small frown like he were sorry.
you nod as you back away and head straight for the garage door. feeling tears welling in your eyes and a pit in your stomach as you inch closer.
what if he left already?
what if he’s come to the conclusion that this was all too hard to deal with and he was better off just finding someone new when he got one of those grad schools across the country?
part of you felt guilty now for ever even trying with hal when you don’t feel the spark you desperately craved from one person. but you kept telling yourself you should try. that jason was ignoring you because he had already decided for the both of you.
by the time you get to the door and push it open, you feel entirely sober.
the mustang is still parked there.
you sigh in relief as you get to the passenger seat and yank it open. sitting in the chair quickly and shutting the door behind you just to find jason sitting there gripping the steering wheel like it was the only thing grounding him right now.
your name on his tongue was sweeter than it should’ve been on these circumstances.
“what’re you doing here?” he sighs. “shouldn’t you be in there?”
steadying yourself you purse your lips and bite your tongue. jason furrows his brows and tilts his head at you.
“hey,” making you turn to him still unable to entirely meet your gaze. “are you okay?”
you nod as your lip trembles. how do you tell him that you’re madly in love with him and even with a new, perfect guy, all you can imagine is jason.
his demeanor shifts at your inability to respond.
“did he,” jason starts. “did hal hurt you?”
“no, jason.” picking at your nails and sighing. “he didn’t do anything wrong.”
then, slowly, he nods as if in realization. face slipping back to the same blank compliance as before. “right. he’s your boyfriend, sorry.”
“he’s not my boyfriend jason.” you snap. “god, you ignore me all week and then you make think you’re making out with some random girl.”
projecting like you weren’t the one kissing someone else. though that’s besides the point.
“hey, i wasn’t kissing anyone.” flickering his eyes over your face, taking in the way your skin paled. “i swear, i didn’t.”
“you could’ve,” unable to hide the way your voice broke. “i hurt you, so i wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to write me off.”
that makes him scoff more harshly than he intended. “why would i do that when i have…” stopping himself. “when i don’t want them?”
his response only makes you feel worse though the way he was holding himself back from admitting the truth, it only makes you want it more.
“why not?” the words come out small.
jason furrows his brows. “why?”
“yeah,” you look at him, tears still glazing over your eyes. “why not?”
“because,” he stammers. “there’s no timeline on moving on. you can do whatever you want so i can also take my time no?”
“please, you’ve been avoiding me like a sickness and staring at hal like he kicked your dog.”
clenching his jaw, jason sighs heavily. “that’s not true.”
“isn’t it?” scoffing as you watch the side of his face. “you hate me and him and it’s my fault.”
groaning out your name like it hurt to say, “i don’t hate you. i could never hate you.”
“then why are you ignoring me?” you ask, interrupting him before he can do it to you. “and why aren’t you coming to class? you’re never here when i come to see grayson or hal—”
but that clearly pushed a button and jason snaps, raising his voice suddenly.
“because i can’t fucking stand him!”
the sound taking you aback and a small scoff escapes past your lips as you watch him breathe heavier. nodding your head, you turn completely towards him in your seat and tuck a foot under your knee just to look directly at his face.
“you could stand him perfectly fine a couple weeks ago when he wasn’t going out with me.” crossing your arms as you stare at him.
his head shakes as he grips the steering wheel tightly. “it’s not that simple and you know it.”
“oh please, enlighten me then jason.” you press on, entirely over this situation and needing him just as badly as you wanted to hate him.
“you—” he starts and stops again.
you’re watching him as he shuts his eyes and lets out a deep exhale. suddenly he looks up to your side and trails his gaze over your face, lifting his fingers towards you like he’s twitching just to touch you.
in his eyes, you find the same adoration you’ve always loved, but now it’s accompanied by a bitter taste.
“when i see you with him,” jason starts, “it feels like i’m suffocating. the air around me has been sucked away and i can’t do anything about it cause i did it to myself.”
parting your lips as you watch him confess what he’s hidden for weeks, you listen. brows upturning as he shakily breathes out your name and presses on.
“it’s selfish, i know. you’re your own person and i ruined us with all the lies. so you’re more than allowed to date other people. i just can’t… i can’t be around it. i won’t.” gulping as he looks at your hands in your lap now, wanting badly to hold them in his. “i know there’s too much baggage between us and i hurt you. i’m just so sorry. so fucking sorry i couldn’t fix it.”
his tone upturned at the end as though he’d contemplated within himself before voicing it.
“—is that why you’re leaving?” interrupting his thoughts and barely concealing the emotions that threatened to spill over. “because of me?”
something in his eyes seem to soften then, flickering and fanning out like all hope had dissipated.
his voice is quiet and unsure as he rasps. “what?”
“you don’t have to lie jason and you sure as shit don’t have to avoid me like the plague. i just wanted to feel wanted like a person and not a fucking prize.” slow tears slipping down your warm cheeks. “you never told me you were going to leave.”
taking a large gulp, he shakes his head. “i was never going to leave you.”
but you’re shaking your head. “i know you applied to grad schools across the country and i know you got in. i just can’t understand why you hid that part from me.”
furrowing his brows like he’s trying to understand where you got to that conclusion, he looks deep in thought. then recognition flickers behind his eyes and he leans closer, clasping your hands in his. staring into your eyes like he were sorry. you sniffle as he takes your hands and try not to sob at how royally you’d felt like you’d fucked this up.
“bruce told you at gordon’s event didn’t he? fuck, i wanted to be the one to do it.” he searches your face when you look down into your lap. though jason follows your gaze. “i’m sorry. i said no more lies and i hid this unintentionally ma.”
he leans even closer, enough to smell your perfume and the slight intoxicating scent of lingering weed illuminating between you. jason sighs and holds back his own emotions. “i feel like i’m always apologizing to you like an idiot.”
between quiet sniffles you find yourself leaning closer to him, searching unconsciously for comfort. you lean your head onto his shoulder.
“you’re not an idiot. i just can’t stand to lose you jay.” the quiet admission slips.
immediately he cradles your head there, leaning his own head on top of yours and gently touching your cheek. he whispers a small shaky noise that sounded to your name before he takes a shallow breath.
“you’re allowed to be happy. if he’s making you happy then i want that for you.”
you pull away to look at him, the emotion evident all over your face now that he could see it again.
“damn it jason, i’m not fucking happy! i didn’t move on,” elevating your voice like you were speaking to yourself more than him. probably still more intoxicated than you felt. “i don’t love hal. i don’t, love anyone else but—” you cut yourself off.
the car suddenly feels a lot smaller. the doors seemingly doing nothing to make you feel closer to jason despite how close you sat next to another. the silence stretched for what felt like minutes but was only seconds.
though jason, his eyes were glued to yours.
“you love someone else?” voice small as he carefully watches you. waiting patiently for you to fill in blanks he desperately wanted to be right about.
slowly, you nod as a tear slips down your face. “you jason. it’s you.”
then he moves. his hands touch your face delicately. thumb grazing over the warm tear as he held you close. from how close you sat now, you could see the tears welling in his eyes and the relief that flooded as he watched you in awe.
“you love me?” breathlessly, he said.
unable to say anything through your broken tears, a sob breaks out as you nod. jason presses his forehead to yours and whispers your name, over and over like he’s counting his blessings.
“please,” he rasps, “please say it. i want to hear it ma, please.”
between sobs, you melt against him. tears wetting your lashes and landing on his skin.
“i love you jason todd. i love you so much that it’s ruining my life.” laughing at yourself a little at the end when he joins in and smiles.
“yeah baby? well, the feeling is mutual and i love you more than i’ve ever loved anything or anyone.” gazing into your eyes like it held the key to all of his prayers.
pulling you closer as though there wasn’t a dashboard between you, all resolve crumbs as you climb over it and into his lap, straddling him tight. his hand grazes over you hair and pushes it back as he makes you face him, wiping the tear streaks from your skin. he shushes you as you sniffle.
“don’t cry baby, i’m not leaving. i’m never leaving you again. you hear me?” kissing your cheeks as you pull at his shirt. “i didn’t pick a school yet. i haven’t chosen one because i can’t breathe if you’re not close.”
you hum as you pull at his shirt again, tugging him closer and letting him lean you against the steering wheel. pulling his hair back to watch his handsome face smile up at you. your eyes flicker to his lips and he smiles brightly as he drops his hands to your thighs, kneading the plush there.
“you want something princess?” teasing despite the circumstances.
you can’t help but laugh and roll your eyes. “just kiss me already jason.”
“for you? anything.”
then he’s on you, pressing his perfect lips to yours. it feels like you’re floating over yourself as he deepens it, holding you tight against him as he pushes his tongue down your throat. you moan into his mouth as your hips mindlessly shift against him. jason groans and bucks his hips slightly, biting your lip to make the sweet sound slip past your lips and to his ears.
“baby,” rasping against your mouth.
though you don’t part, instead you tug at his shirt and pull up the hem. jason gets the message immediately, letting you pull it up enough for him to take it off all the way. his shirt is tossed to the side when you trail your fingers down his abs, touching the hard muscle that you missed desperately. you graze your fingers up and down while you kiss down his jaw, eliciting a gorgeous moan from him that was music to your ears.
fumbling with your skirt while you undid his belt, you could feel how hard he was beneath you, pressing into your inner thigh.
“are you sure?” breathlessly he says while you nip up by his ear.
nodding, you moan against his skin, biting the love and kneading it with your teeth.
“yeah jay.” you rasp. “i need you.”
it’s enough to spur him further, hiking up your skirt as you push his jeans down with his boxers. you feel his hard length against your bare inner thigh, painfully hard and leaking in your need.
he’s moving to pull your panties down when you stop him, taking his hand and guiding him to push them to the side instead. urgency in your movements as you watch the realization in his eyes. jason only smiles as you guide his length to press against you. the message is clear as he nods and kisses you again, pecking your lips in little movements as though savouring you.
then you’re pressing down against him, mouth parting as you take him. seating yourself down as he holds you, guiding your hips when you try to take him at once. jason stops you before you try to let him all the way in. he sighs like he’s straining himself.
“breathe baby,” gulping as sweat wicks his forehead. “no rush. breathe. it’s all yours yeah? i’m all yours.”
you nod as you lean forward again, capturing his lips and lapping at him. he tightens his hold on you as you tilt your head, pressing him further into his seat as you begin to shift your hips. sinking further down against him, jason guides you there.
he doesn’t thrust up into you when you take him completely. instead, he parts from your lips, letting you breathe with a line of spit between you from how desperately you both needed eachother. jason groans lowly as you continue to shift your hips, dropping his head against the seat as praises escape from your lips.
“so good jay,” whining as you bounce against him. “you’re so perfect baby.”
jason returns the whine and bites his lip. this only excites you further, knowing how it pushes his buttons and turns him on. you know your man. grinding against him harder, you moan as he kneads your ass in his palms. little moans and words of affirmation as the signs of him losing himself made you want it more.
“i love you,” he moans helplessly, saying your name over and over. “god, i love you so much.”
“i love you too baby.” you whisper against his lips. “you’re so good. fuck, you’re so big.”
he makes another whimpering sound, his hips stuttering against yours as your movements only grew wilder.
“shit baby, don’t say that. i’m gonna lose it.” groaning as he throws his head back again, entirely lost in the feeling of you.
the peak was creeping over on you too. you could feel yourself there, sensitive enough to let go, but not enough to get him there first. hips moving in tandem with yours as he bucked up into you.
“good,” you sighed dreamily, smiling down at jason who’s just barely keeping it together. “i want you to let go.”
“oh fuck,” he moans.
he bites his lip so hard you think he’s gonna make it bleed. fingers digging into your thighs like an anchor. another whimpering sound that grew into a moan as he dropped his head to your chest. lazily grinding against you as he held you tight against him.
“please jay,” knowing exactly what you were doing. voice breathy and seductive. “i wanna feel it inside me.”
the response is immediately as he sputter and loses all semblance of himself. his hips buck up, once, twice, kissing your cervix when he holds it deep. letting go and painting you white as he made swallow thrusts. he doesn’t slow his hips when he comes, he wants you to feel it all.
the feeling crashes over you as soon as you feel his, crying out as he held you through it and guiding your hips even as he borders on overstimulation. he makes sure to rock you through your peak, lazily grinding as you gasped for air and moaned into his neck.
melting into him while he caught his breath and slowed his hips to let you come down. keeping you close, he pulls you further to collapse against his chest, sucking in a sharp breath and sighs. his spent leaking onto his lap and he couldn’t be bothered.
the only sound in the car was heavy panting and the sweet musk of sex. blissfully you find yourself grinning faintly, feeling his chest rising and falling and his hands running soothing paths on your skin.
“i meant it.” he admits while you’re still reeling.
you hum quietly to tell him to continue.
“that i love you. that i’m never leaving you.” already kissing your dampened hair as he remained seated inside you.
“i meant it too,” you croaked, entirely spent. “i love you jason todd.”
the smile on his face could be felt through your hair, and he laughed as he tightened his hold around you. almost crushing but you couldn’t care less if you tried.
“so,” his voice still sounded unsure like he was gauging your opinion and didn’t want to overstep. “does this mean i can call you my girlfriend now?”
putting a hand to his chest to lift yourself, you look him in the eyes. squinting as you smack his chest lightly.
“i’ll kill you if you don’t.”
a slow smile creeps over his handsome face. the expression only makes you want to jump his bones again like he wasn’t hardening inside of you all over again. jason cups your cheek and pulls you in for another sloppy, wet kiss. slipping his tongue past your lips and biting your lip as he parts.
“good. cause i’m gotham u offers a good criminology masters program and i’m thinking of accepting it.” pressing his lips to your nose and to your forehead as you giggle.
then his word click and you gasp. “gotham u?”
he nods dreamily with his eyes half lidded, watching you. “well if my girlfriend is still going there then—”
“yes!” you shove him further into his seat, taking the turn to kiss all over his face. “a million times yes. don’t you dare,” speaking between kisses, “change your mind.”
he pinches your side so you stop and leans his forehead against yours again. either hand on the sea of your face like he was trying to memorize how you felt and brand it to his skin. jason stared lovingly into your eyes and you felt it, deeply.
for the first time in months, you felt love unconditionally and unapologetically reciprocated.
“i wouldn’t dream of it princess.” eyes twinkling as he stared at you.
looking into his eyes, the future didn’t feel so scary anymore.
i’d like to apologize for how long you had to wait for this. i am currently battered and bruised but i feel super accomplished now that this is done too. nerdystoner!jason i love you!
warnings: nsfw ― mdni, reader is anatomically female, porn w minimal plot, filth...like a lot of it, unprotected sex (pls don't do this), creampie, breeding kink sorta, vaginal penetration, brief dry humping, vaginal fingering, prone bone, lowkey aggressive sex, dirty talk, praise, daddy kink :D, jason says 'good girl' :DDDD, size kink if you squint, mild possessiveness if you squint, biting, some clit play, mild language
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thinking of early mornings with jason, where one moment he's snoring on his side of the bed before rolling over and scooping you into his arms, smooshing his cheek into your barely covered chest. before you can even open your eyes, his lips are hot on your skin, kissing with a reverence that makes your heart ache and the heat between your legs throb.
it isn't some special occasion.
he simply wants to make love to every part of you, your soul. the sacred devotion this early in the morning genuinely rewires your brain.
he's got you wrapped around his finger, and you equally as much. you're both absolutely smitten with each other. but that's right where you want to be. wrapped up in the mess of your limbs, breaths intermingling as your hips lazily rut into one another.
his length prods through the thin fabric of his boxers, catching your clit just right through the flimsy lace of your panties. your hands are firm on his arms, flexing at the feeling of your nails gently sinking into his skin. both of your eyes remain hooded, a particular roll of his hips eliciting a wrecked moan from you.
"jay," his name falls from your lips like a sinful prayer.
it only eggs him on. it makes him want to pursue your pleasure even further, to pull the breathiest of moans from your plush lips, to have you melt into complete putty and quiver beneath him.
so he does just that.
"just relax, honey," he rolls you flat onto your stomach, already pressing hot kisses to the curve of your neck, down your shoulder. "i got you. let me make you feel good, mama."
the graze of his fingers along your backside has your hips recklessly pushing back into him, eager for more. he moves even slower, dragging your panties down your legs at a pace that indicates no urgency.
his breath catches when a string of your arousal follows the crotch of your panties, your folds glistening before his eyes. already so wet, completely prepared to take all of him.
his fingers are heavy between your legs, parting your lips to spread your slick before sinking home. there's no gradual stretch ― just two fingers prying you open like they belong there.
"mm, fuck, baby."
your words are muffled by the fluff of your pillow, hips moving in tandem with each push of his fingers. your thighs briefly squeeze around his wrist, slightly halting his ministrations.
"gotta open up for me, sweet girl," he murmurs, pressing a kiss right beneath your ear. "gonna let me make you feel good, right, sweetheart?"
he lives for this shit. absolutely fiends for the way your walls drip for him, the way they try to swallow up everything that he gives you. you try to nod, hips still wriggling for him to stop talking and just give you more.
he simply laughs at your weak attempt, firmly pressing one hand to the small of your back.
"patience, mama," he hums, fingers slowly starting to massage your gummy walls again. "patience."
quiet whimpers and low whines rip from your throat with each push of his hand. then his digits curl beautifully against that spot that drives you mad.
"oh, fuck― jay," you gasp, one hand reaching back to tug at his wrist.
he tuts, hissing when your nails press dull crescents into his flesh. he doesn't stop his movements.
"damn, ma," a dark chuckle vibrates through his chest. "that good?"
you can hear the smirk in his voice. if this man wasn't so hot, built to perfection, you'd be pissed. instead, it goes straight to your core, walls clenching around his two thick fingers.
drool pools beneath your pouted lips, coating them in that glossy sheen that makes jason's brain short circuit.
"want more, jay," you attempt to catch his eyes through your hooded ones, moaning softly. "please gimme more."
a grumble resounds from deep within. the sight of you so worked up does nothing to quell the ache in his boxers.
he doesn't even pretend to consider it, pulling his fingers out of you with an earnest "sorry, baby."
his boxers are flung across the room in seconds. his cock rests heavy in his palm, head red and leaking. a few quick pumps are all that he can spare before he's pressing himself to your heat, sloppily running his tip through your folds.
the sounds that leave both of your mouths are lewd. you're sure that you're dripping all over the sheets, but you can't bring yourself to care at all. he continues like that for a bit, whimpering when he barely nudges at your entrance.
you prop yourself onto your elbows, head falling between your shoulders as his hips finally push forward. cacophonic moans spill from your mouth, already coming undone. his free hand finds your hip, deliberately feeding every girthy inch to your greedy cunt.
he shushes you, pressing his lips to the flexed muscles of your back and shoulders.
"'m right here, baby," he stills for a moment before filling you to the hilt, ripping the breathiest moan from your chest. "right fuckin' here, mama."
he sets a harrowing pace ― one that makes you feel every inch and every vein, yet has you damn near bawling out for more.
your fingers clutch a pillow against your chest, the fluff collecting your pathetic moans and stray tears. your thighs are quivering already, fighting the urge to just push back and use him however you please.
"so fuckin' big," you weep when his hips smack the plush of your ass.
his hands abandon your hips, slipping his forearms under your frame instead. he's impossibly deep. you swear you can feel him in your lungs at this point.
another desperate cry urges his hips to move faster, eager for more of those pretty sounds to ring in his ear.
"this pussy was made for me," he muses. "you were fuckin' made for me, sweetheart."
your thighs press closer together, heightening the sensation of his cock nestled deep between your walls.
"baby, fuck, i c― i can't take it," you mewl, fingers curling deeper into the fluff beneath your chest.
his hips pick up their pace, slapping your ass with obscene whack, whack, whacks.
"hell, you can't," he spits, chest shoving down on your back. "you were made for this shit, baby, c'mon. take it."
he bites on your shoulder with enough pressure to get you out of your head. a surprised yelp strings into a moan when his fingers find your clit, rubbing tight, fast circles to the sensitive nub.
"c'mon, honey," he pushes. "let go. come for me. make a mess all over me."
he kisses the blunt bite mark forming on your pretty skin.
"lemme see how good daddy makes you feel."
and that does it.
with one high-pitched gasp, you're falling apart, legs violently trembling as his hips continue to snap forward, drawing out the intensity of your orgasm. your arms give out and the side of your face lands on the pillow as though it'll save you.
"gonna let me fill you up like a good girl, right, baby?"
he has the audacity to whimper as if he's the one being fucked to oblivion. nonetheless, you're nodding wildly.
"fill me up, jay," you blubber with closed eyes. "wan' you to come in me."
he grunts at the feeling of your walls pulsing around him, driving him over the edge shortly afterwards. warm spurts of white paint your insides, shamelessly claiming you as his and his only.
he settles against the warmth of your back, your breaths evening out.
"good fuckin' morning," he croons.
he doesn't pull out, just stays sheathed comfortably. you stir softly when his lips flutter across your back again.
"so," his voice comes out completely wrecked. "me calling myself daddy does it for you, huh?"
you half-heartedly swat a hand at him.
"shut up."
he nips at your shoulder playfully, right where he'd bitten you earlier, and a quiet whimper echoes from the plush of your lips.
"yeah, that's what i thought," he grins to himself, entirely too smug.
gotta give the guy some credit.
a/n: feeling like THAT bitch cause i put out two fics in less than 24 hrs 😎
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
vaporwave
areudirty
dailybridgerton
gummygunk
turnnoffyourmind
prguitarman
kianamaiart
titsay
