Snack Game / Crack Game : UK snacks and junkfood

Somehow the snack game reminds me of the crack game.

[snackgamecrackgame]

Take mans Twix by force

Aaaaaaaay. IT’S ME!

It’s been a wild few years, right? How about that Kanye album!  Did you buy lots of fidget spinners? That dress was definitely blue and black, my guy! My wife and I have a 18-month-old kid now!

I think some other stuff happened too but it was mostly terrible. And anyway, I’m back in Australia. Not only am I too drained to do anything after sunset, I’m also unemployed! There’s probably no better position to be in to write about eating (mostly) delicious combinations of sugar, fat and preservatives. So maybe I’ll write about snacks again. 

XXOO

[billionz]

Cadbury X Ritz Crackers. Straight fiiyyyaaah.

[snackgamecrackgame]

Only problem is that they kinda cheaped out on the execution. It's like 4 mini Ritz joints placed on top of a chocolate display rack and secured with the collective will of the Cadbury's product development team.

Two of those joints fell off when I was opening the packet.

Great flavour combo though.

[snackgamecrackgame]

Ballers only: Cadbury's Egg n' Spoon

Imagine my shock when I walked into the former World's Worst Tesco to see a massive pile of these Cadbury Egg n Spoons waiting to be bought.

I was so psyched to self-scan these jawns and get them home it almost made me forget I wasn't able to get half the items I actually went to the Tesco for in the first place (shout outs to having 35 types of ready meal but no goddamn broccoli).

The only thing holding me back from scooping armfuls of these into my basket was the price - £3.50 a pack goes way beyond the impulse-buy territory I usually hunt in. But I #YOLO'd out there with a pack anyway.

You can't deny the presentation  - it's approaching Japanese levels of snack packaging and makes the process of eating these a bit of an event.

These are good. In the way that Cadbury chocolate is generally good - but no more than that.

The shell is nice and thick and the mousse sweet and chocolatey but definitely only in edible small amounts - you can probably imagine what's in there to make sure it maintains its mousse-like properties on the shelf.

However, each egg is super small making the spoons pretty much unnecessary.

One thing to note is that they need to be served at the right temperature. Too warm and the mousse separates a bit. Too cold and it becomes like ganache and you end up with a large Lindt ball (which isn't so bad I guess).

Get them if they're on sale (which I think they might be at the moment), otherwise spend your snack money elsewhere.

[snackgamecrackgame]

Snack Game / Crack Game presents: Gunplay - Cocaine Connoisseur

SOMETIMES THE SNACK GAME GETS ABOUT THE MIX GAME.

I figured you'd had enough time to really deconstruct the genius of the last one and were on the hunt for a short, adequately mixed replacement.

Snack Game Crack Game presents 'Gunplay: Cocaine Connoisseur'

He's my favourite non-Rick Ross MMG homie. He's dropped a bunch of dope mixtapes and singles and his first actual album should be coming out soon. MAYBE. It's been in perpetual 'just about to come out' status for about a year and a half.

This is a short mix I whipped together that should serve as a introduction to Richard Morales aka Ratchet Morales aka Don Logan aka Jupiter Jack. All beautifully mixed together with only minor defects.

What I like about Gunplay is that he's got just the right amount of crazy mixed with an actual ability to rap - something I think has been missing in the southern rap game for a while. Also, he doesn't mind dropping a verse or two over a classic beat which is always welcome.

And, as the name suggests, most of the raps on here are about cocaina.

I reckon this tape would be good for a short workout, but I warn you: it could get you so amped you punch the slower joggers in the back of the neck.

[snackgamecrackgame]

Moroccan double down: Break Supa & Tutku

Shouts to the gods Dan and Kim for lacing me with a couple of bangers from the distant shores of Morocco.  

First up we gots the Break Supa. Two fingers of a chewy caramel/wafer combo. Its light, chewy, crunchy and I could easily put away several of these.

It's essentially a Chomp (the Australian version, not the UK one) split in two.

If you're like me, Chomps played a fairly significant role in childhood snack consumption. They were a perfect low cost choice when you need a chocolate hit  at 30c / 35c a piece. Much cheaper than a Mars or Snickers but more desirable that a handful of mixed lollies, these were pretty valuable in playground trading. In terms of trade value

Also some of you might remember this slightly horrifying ad most likely played during Pugwall's Summer or Ninja Turtles ad breaks. I always thought it was kind of weird the strawberry queen is down with strawberry flavoured snacks.

But anyway. 

Next up, Tutku. The little chocolate filled biscuits that could.

Now, firstly I think we'll agree that these are some handsome biscuits. They're probably reminiscent of a certain school of Arabic architecture or something but iono maybe they were also just made up by some dude in a lab. Either way, good looks, right?

That pretty outer gives way to a soft chocolate/hazelnut center. It's one of the better examples of a filled biscuit, almost on par with those legendary Merba joints. 

Small and chocolatey, these have a really pleasing crunch that's kind of similar to the crystalline crunch of a brandy snap or even maybe like a fresh cannoli.

And the best bit? These are available here in London.

Don't be a newjack cornball - get em both if you see em.

[romefortune]

"I WAS ON ONE, I CAN’T LIE" 

#BEAUTIFULPIMP2

[snackgamecrackgame]

NEW ROME FORTUNE IS VERY NICE.

[snackgamecrackgame]

The Mexican connect: Zumba Pica Tiliko Piña Mix

YO MEXICO I LOVE YOU. DON'T GO CHANGING.

So I went to Mexico on a honeymoon late last year and never blogged about anything I ate there. 

Until now.

In central Oaxaca we stumbled on Mexican candy heaven  -  a bulk candy store near where we caught the bus to go climb around the Monte Alban ruins.

It was literally floor to ceiling Mexican candy & snacks in bulk.

They also had a 4ft tall bag of Cheetos. I don't know who buys a bag that big, but they need to invite to their parties.

I tried to take more flicks but the place was rammed cos it was the lead up to Day of the Dead and I was getting the stink eye from the floor staff (who probably have to put up with annoying dudes like me all day).

We were short on time and luggage space so we were only able to grab a few bits and pieces. I still tear up about the stuff we didn't get - it was like the Sophie's choice of candy.

One of the big flavours in Mexican candy is tamarind.  It's a shock the first few goes around - kinda salty-sour but it  works amazingly when paired with another sugary flavour.

These joints Tiliko Piña Mix are a great example. They're a next level Mexican fruit roll up. I don't usually go in for gummy/chewy joints but I could do these all damn day.

Also, these get props cos of the pineapple character is wearing braces and I imagine this would actually be a pain to eat if you actually were wearing braces. 

Upfront they're super tart and a little spicy - another feature of a lot of Mexican candy: they don't mind a hit of chilli in there.

Compared to other stuff we had it's not hot, more sort of peppery. If you're brave there no shortage of hugely spicy/salty/sour Mexican sweets out there as well.

  After a few seconds the sweeter pineapple flavours comes through and chills things out.

I'd say buy these if you see them, but apart from maybe Amazon US (with a proxy) you might just have to go to Oaxaca to get these.

[snackgamecrackgame]

Triple threat: Kit Kat '3' Caramel

Went back home over Christmas and found Australia is stepping up its Kit Kat Chunky game.

Enter the the '3'. It's a Kit Kat chunky with three different textures IN THE SAME DAMN BAR.

OK, so the name is literally the least imaginative thing they could've come up with and the flavours they ran with are a little pedestrian but I think the concept is otherwise pretty solid.

The 3s come in three flavours - caramel, mint and and cookies and cream - and they're divided into three segments - crunchy, gooey and smooth.

I only copped the caramel and mint ones because cookies and cream always kinda sucks. And clearly I only took flicks of the caramel one.

As you can see, this bar didn't really stand up to autopsy.

So the gooey section is like regular caramel and doesn't really work in a Kit Kat cos it subtracts from the this bar's USP - chunkiness. YA CAN'T MESS WITH THE CHUNKINESS.

The smooth bit is aaight but isn't really adding much. It's kinda boring even though they tried to jazz it up with a chunk of chocolate in it.

The crunchy bit though - that shit is a game changer. This needs to be brought in to the regular rotation with the quickness as it elevates the 'caramel' to more of a praline. 

The mint version was decent too, but not better than the regular mint ones they got out there.

Mint doesn't really work in this kind of thing cos it's the kind flavour that kind of overpowers any texture elements.

Bottom line is these are pretty good, but could be amazing with some better flavours.

[snackgamecrackgame]

SECOND COMING: THE WHITE TWIX IS BACK

PRAISE YEEZUS. WHITE TWIX HAS RETURNED

I already reviewed them aaaaages ago. But you know what? I think I'd like to take this chance to revise my previous statements. I've grown as a person. Grown as snack consumer. I'd even say I'm a white chocolate fan now.

These are dope. Go forth and multiply (your BMI).

[snackgamecrackgame]

SO DAMN ICEY

Was blessed with some weird joints from Iceland this week.

Iceland the country, that is, not the one that sells frozen doner kebab pizza, (although I'm currently a little hungover so that joint looks pretty amazing).

First up: Djúpur.

These are like fat, white M&Ms with a liquorice center. Chocolate and liquorice is such a great combo and one that doesn't gets its dues.

If you don't like liquorice we probably can't hang out that much . I've been down for liquorice since day one - I was that kid gladly accepting everyone else's black cats and black jelly beans in the playground.

So these are great  and much to my wife's annoyance, I inhaled three quarters of a bag of these while I was watching Point Break on TV after I came back from the pub. 

The only thing that would make these better would be if the liquorice was a bit stronger.  

These next joints though are interesting. Djúpur's big brother from another mother - the Sterkar Djúpur.

'Sterkar Djúpur' seems to translate to 'pepper bombs' - instead of candy , the chocolate is coated in powdered ammonium chloride - the flavouring of that intense salty liquorice people from Nordic countries like.  

While, I don't love that salty-sour-peppery taste, it's certainly interesting and you do get used to it after a while. However eating candy shouldn't really be hard work and shouldn't give you the sensation that you've recently vomited after you've eaten more than a couple.

Still good though. Props, Iceland!

[snackgamecrackgame]

Twix Mix aint 'bout it, 'bout it.

Suuuuuup.

Spotted these on the dusty bottom rung of a rack in the off-licence near work. Figured cos I ride til I die for Twix that they'd be a no-brainer.

Twix Mix is little-chocolate covered balls of either biscuit or caramel.

Intriguing right? Certainly intriguing enough that I shelled out semi-extortionate off license prices for a bag.

These are actually kinda new but the bag I got was so dusty I couldn't be sure that weren't from this decade and I had dreams I was copping the last pack in existence.  I was considering putting them bach but I had that thing where I got to the counter and the dude was glaring at me and putting them back woulda probably pissed him off and shattered the fledgling relationship we'd formed based primarily on both being frustrated at school kids taking their sweet ass time deciding how to spend 40p.

Definitely not risking that.

So Twix mix - a good concept, but not as good as an actual Twix.

Firstly it kinda looks like rabbit poop. Secondly, if you're after the kind of balance you get from biting into a Twix - you're  going to be disappointed. You never know whether your'e going to get a mouthful of biscuit or just caramel or a mix of both. Exciting! Sort of. 

These really just highlight how a Twix is greater than the sum of its parts. Neither the caramel or biscuit by themselves is enough to get amped about and you'd be pretty bummed if you got a bag of each.

Well, I'd be bummed cos I'm bout dat life.

[brotherbrain]

Michael Jackson’s Moonwalker (Arcade) Sega 1990. gif.comp: brotherbrain

[snackgamecrackgame]

ALWAYS AND FOREVER.

Happy 55th homie.

[snackgamecrackgame]

Phileas Fogg probably thinks you're an idiot/bigot

Is the word 'taquito' too ethnic-sounding for you? Luckily Phileas Fogg's got you covered with these 'Mexican taco roll style' corn chips in cool sour cream and onion flavour.

They're the perfect thing to snack on between the 'Italian-style grilled cheese and tomato on round bread' you had for lunch and the 'spicy, Indian-style beef stew' you're going to be microwaving for dinner. 

I got these from some woman handing them out outside Kings Cross station the other week.

These are  just completely forgettable. Salty snacks covered in a chemical powder that's a vague approximation of the flavour written on the bag.

Also, sour cream and onion is a bullshit flavour for a corn chip. What the fuck would you want to dip this in?

Maybe I'm asking way too much of a snack company but the idiotic concept/branding really gets me. It actually says on the back: "When you want an experience that really sets your taste buds alight, it's time to look beyond traditional crisps and flavours."

That's right, it's time for you herbs to forget your lame regular chip flavours and explore a universe full of exciting new flavours such as 'sweet chilli', 'BBQ' and 'cheese and New York deli relish'.  

Phileas Fogg's joints are the rasta hat with fake dreads of the snack world.

[snackgamecrackgame]

Tiramisu and my usual, thanks.

A new crib means new off-licences nearby to cop the snacks from.

First up - Tiramisu!

These one came from a spot next to a chicken shop where I'm desperately trying to become a regular (eg. I walk in and they go 'Aaaaayyy, Billionz! The usual?' And I'm all 'Yo, [insert owner name here] you know I'm 'bout that chicken burger life!" and then he gives me daps and a chicken burger and some free chips).

I love tiramisu like what. It's the lasagne of desserts -  one of those menu items I always have to order, and then when that fact is pointed out I drop some bullshit about it being a 'benchmark dish' (see also: char kuey teow, burgers, sausage rolls).

These are dope and I'm extremely glad they come in a pack of 10. They're light as air chocolate sponge squares with boozy tasting 'marscapone' cream in there. I've actually paid real life restaurants proper money for versions that were worse than these.

Not too keen on finding out what chemical cocktails are involved in keeping these so fresh feeling, but you don't look a £1.49 gift horse in the mouth, mi amigo.

I think it's good they didn't try and go all out on the cream filling - it's not trying to be an actual tiramisu, more something that's good reminder of it.

People are obviously sleeping on them though cos (as the wiz pointed out) the packet was mad dusty from being stored almost at floor level.

[snackgamecrackgame]

Snacks on tour: Grok Grana Padano Croccante

SUP. Been laying low on the snack tip so I could go away and get hedonistic in Spain for a minute.  

I did that. I'm back. My doctor wants to have a word with me.

So on the way back I was woken from a plane nap when the wife (the wiz as Ghostface would say) plopped this little packet down on my tray table.

I was kinda bummed when I got them - on first glance I thought they were cheese flavoured rice cakes.

I was wrong.

You know when you make a grilled cheese and bits of cheese leak out on to the pan and crisp up? This is a packet of those crispy bits, but bigger and made from parmigiano reggiano (DOP, suckas).

These were great. Genius idea which I might steal. Pretty intense though - parmigiano is a pretty strong cheese and is this almost like a concentrated version of it. I was on about day six of a perma-hangover and my delicate constitution made them a little hard to finish. 

I bravely ate them all though - they were just too good not to. Did I feel a little sick afterwards? Sure did. Totally worth it though.

If you see these, hit em up.

[snackgamecrackgame]

SNACKS MADE FROM SNACKS: Peanuts in coke

Ya heard me. PEANUTS IN THE COKE.

This is a bit of an odd one that I came across looking up stuff about southern food. 

It apparently goes back to the 1920s in areas like Tennessee and the Carolinas. Why? I don't know. Ask a southerner. I just know that people did it. And that I wanted to do it.

As for execution, it's pretty simple:

Get a bottle of Coke and a single serve packet of salted peanuts 

Take a few swigs from the Coke to make some room.

Carefully pour peanuts into Coke.

Drink Coke so you get a few peanuts with each mouthful

Yes, compared to the last entry this requires just the bare minimum of involvement.

I told some homies about it they were kinda shocked  - why would you ruin a perfectly good Coke and a packet of peanuts? I was thinking the same thing.

Until I tried it.

It’s weird - but it works.  Drink it straight up and you get crunchy peanuts and the salty-sweet combo you'd usualy get from washing a mouthful of peanuts down with some Coke.

Leave it for a bit and you get peanut infused Coke which is kinda strange but actually pretty dope. 

And yes I used Diet Coke cos I’m fabulous. Don’t front.

Soundtrack to this? Memphis' finest, Three Six: these dudes probably did it all the time before their syrup days. Probably.

[snackgamecrackgame]

SNACKS MADE FROM SNACKS: Potato chip cookies

Snacks made from other snacks? Sounds like a nice change up.

I came across this recipe the other day and thought I'd have a crack as it seemed like a good take on the salty-sweet concept.

It's pretty straightforward: chocolate chip cookies with chip crumbs on top. 

While I can definitely hold it down in the kitchen, I'd never made cookies - I don't cook a lot of sweet stuff. That might change though cos these came out dope.

Recipe: Potato chip cookies

And of course, this is the soundtrack: