❝ i'm sure my absence seemed pretty abrupt. it's what everyone on campus is talking about right now. me being back, where i was. everyone keeps asking ... but ... actually, though? i wanted to talk to you ... ❞
for some reason. even yagami can't put his finger on it, but one of the first things he did when he got his phone back (and out of sight from prying panda eyes) was text the raven-haired girl from school.
❝ i just wanted to say ... i'm sorry for leaving you hanging like that. that wasn't my intention. ❞ that feels lame, wrong even.
because, in truth, he feels like he owes her an explanation for something. something he just cannot quite grasp. it's on the cusp of his tongue, like he's ready to say it, but the words are unable to form, and thus all he can muster is an apology that even sounds a bit dull coming from him. he doesn't even really know what he's apologizing for.
HERE IS THE REALITY: the investigation is at a standstill. nothing is progressing. they can't find kira. studying the yotsuba group has provided enough context to keep the case alive ... but little beyond that. after the task force's probing, yotsuba clammed up and sold most of their assets outright, muddying their stocks and investments along the way, and then the company dispersed itself entirely before L could even try to pull the plug.
finding them all as individuals has been tough, and L was certain up until this point of three things in absolute:
kira is operating within yotsuba ... and that yagami raito was kira at one point in time, likely the original, and presumably gave up his powers to someone else. this power was somehow also given to amane misa, but was taken away, leaving her in much the same position as yagami. it sounds plausible, right?? it sounds too plausible.
even with how damning it felt to be put on the spot, yagami had to admit ... he wondered. am i kira? is ryuzaki (is L) right?
still, there's no proof. without his memories, yagami is admittedly only as good as he is normally.
which is pretty outstanding, he would argue, as he's been pretty invaluable, if not a bit argumentative, up until this point. and agreeable, he would further insist. extremely so, given the circumstances i was put in.
his wrist is healing from the chaffing of the cuffs, but a thin red line remains for now. yagami rubs at it absentmindedly, sighing to himself before looking back up to her.
her. jabami yumeko. he knows her, even remembers her, but it's all so ... limited. limited in its scope of what they truly are. he remembers conversations of idle passing — exchanges about their families, dinner invitations, walking the campus together.
but that's where it ends. at least, he thinks it does.
ask him about the ship of theseus and his answer might be different now.
❝ this sounds crazy, but i feel like ... i missed a lot, right? while i was away. but, like, it's more than that, you know? i was hoping maybe you could fill me in? that we could go out together? ❞
i know we used to. i wish i could remember what we talked about. i wish i could remember why i need to see you. all i know is ... i just do. — @snakedevour