Rainy days
You rolled over in bed, squinting in the grey light trying desperately to force its way through the blinds of your bedroom. Ashton’s side of the bed was cool on your fingers as you searched blindly for him. Blinking, you opened your eyes fully, it was almost midday, no wonder Ashton had already got up. You pushed the duvet off and reached for a sweatshirt that lay over the bottom of the bed.
Downstairs, Ashton lay on the sofa, flicking through channels in just a pair of tracksuits. He still had bed hair, you stood at the door of the living room admiring him for a second.
“If you’re going to stare at me, I’d rather you do it where I can stare back.” You heard the grin in his voice as you stepped forward. He lifted an arm so that you could lay beside him on the sofa. You snuggled in to him. After four years, your heart still felt like it would break out of your chest when you were near him.
“Did you have any plans today?” You asked, moving closer still into Ashton’s chest.
“Well, I was going to suggest we go up to the mountain with Bear, but the rain scuppered that. I don’t feel like getting muddy and cold so I figured I’d just chill with my hot girlfriend instead.” Ashton smirked. You pushed yourself up so that you were sat but his hand still rested on the small of your back.
“ you have another girlfriend?” Ashton rolled his eyes and swatted at your leg with his other hand. “Where is Bear anyway?” You asked, looking around for the brown mixed Australian shepherd.
“Let him out in the garden when I got up.” As Ashton explained, the dog barked from the other side of the patio doors. You grinned and stood up to let the dog in. He shook as he crossed the threshold showering both you and Ashton, you cringed at the cold water and walked the dog through to the kitchen, locking the baby gate you occasionally used to keep him in there and out of trouble. It was the first rainy day since you’d bought white furniture covers and did not want them to ruined. You questioned why you thought anything white would last around Bear anyway as you walked back to the living room. Ashton was still lying down but had found a conspiracy documentary on Netflix to watch. You kissed his forehead before heading to your office, a little cubby room off the living room, to finish formatting a blog post before you scheduled it to go up later that day. An hour later, you were done and the post was scheduled for 6pm. The rain had begun to beat down heavier while you’d been working and Ashton had even lit the fire in the living room. Bear lay at his feet now, snoring softly, until he heard your bare feet on the wooden floor. He whined as he lifted his head, alerting Ashton to your presence.
“All done, beautiful?” He asked, you nodded and crossed the room to him, picking the book you’d been reading up from the coffee table. You sat leaning against Ashton’s side, his arm securely around your shoulder, holding you close to him.
You had no idea how long you’d been sat without saying a word to each other, when your phone buzzed on the coffee table. You put your bookmark back into the pages of the book, realising that you now only had a chapter or two to go, and swapped it for the phone. Eliza, your best friend since childhood, had sent you a message.
‘Thank you for my outfit y/n, I love it.’ Shortly after the message, a picture of Eliza’s seven week old baby, Pacco, popped up on your phone.
“Babe, look,” You nudged Ashton’s side to get his attention. He smiled at the image on your screen.
“I can’t wait to see what our baby looks like,” he smiled thoughtfully. “Have I told you how beautiful you look when you hold Pacco?”
“I’m terrified that I’ll drop him. What kind of godmother would I be then?”
“Your not only going to be the best Godmother, you’re going to be the best mother too.”
You didn’t have the words to respond to Ashton so just kissed him softly before swapping the phone for your book again and leaning back once more. Half way through your last chapter, Ashton seemed to have lost interest in his tv show and began scrolling through his phone.
When you’d turned the last page of your book, you placed it beside you, too comfortable to move much more. Your mind drifted to the image of Pacco that Eliza had sent, the sight of Ashton holding him so gingerly at the hospital and again on the few times that you’d visited Eliza since they’d got home from the hospital. You couldn’t help but smile. You and Ashton had spoken about having children, but his tour schedule was always crazy and you enjoyed spending time, just the two of you. Michael, Luke and Calum were plenty for the both of you to handle for now and you’d agreed to wait a little while. It had been over a year since the subject of babies had been brought up by either of you.
Ashton shut the tv off. You turned around and looked at him but couldn’t work out his expression. He moved his arm from around you and he moved from beside you.
“Just going to go for a run to the shop, get something for dinner, anything you want?” You frowned at his sudden eagerness to go out in the now hammering rain.
“I was thinking I might have a long soak tonight, some wine would be nice?” He leant forward to kiss your head and ran up the stairs to get dressed. Bear looked at you, wondering what was going on.
“Don’t look at me,Bear, I don’t know what’s gotten into him.”
In a beat, Ashton was back in the living room. He had his running shorts and trainers on with a thin jacket. He carried Bear’s lead and harness with him. Once he’d put the harness on the dog, he leant to kiss you again and promised not to be long.
While he was gone, you pulled your dark hair up into a messy bun and found your glasses. Picking up a pencil from the pot on the table you began making notes in the book you’d just finished reading to help you when it came to writing a blog post on it.
When Ashton and Bear returned forty minutes later, they were both soaked. Bear was again banished to the kitchen while he dried off and Ashton changed back into a pair of tracksuit trousers. He got straight to work in the kitchen when he came back down the stairs.
“We’re having an early dinner was all he’d say to you when you asked, before he kicked you out of the kitchen and shut the door.
The chicken was steaming as Ashton put it on the dining table, he lit the golden coloured candles and put out the bowls of vegetables. He called you in and you gasped at the sight of him sat at the table. His lips were slightly pinkened by the red wine as he smiled softly at you. As you sat, he poured you a glass of red wine and handed you the serving spoons for the veg.
“Not that I’m complaining, but what’s all this for?” You paused, looking into his eyes that were giving nothing away, “you don’t have to go away again yet, do You?” Ashton shook his head and took your hand in his.
“I was thinking, earlier on, and, now, I don’t want you to say anything until I finish.” You nod, concern clouding your eyes and worry setting into your mind. “You know I love you,”
“Ashton, what,” you interrupted but were silenced by the look in his eyes.
“Y/n, I love you, and somehow, I still love you more, every single day. I’ve got a ring on your finger,” you glanced down at your engagement ring, “and I still can’t believe I got you to say yes to that, but, I think, I mean, I hope, because I am, and I really want you to be, and...” he stopped, looking around the room for the words he’d lost. You rubbed his hand, clasped in yours with you thumb.
“Ash, babe,” you prompted.
‘I want us to start trying for a baby y/n. I think we’re ready. I think I’m ready and I don’t go on tour properly for over a year. When I do, you can come with, or I can come home for days off.” You stared at each other for a second.
“I’m going to get so fat.” You mumbled. A grin stretched across Ashton’s face.
“Is that a yes? Are we going to try for a baby?” You didn’t think Ashton’s grin could get any wider. You both tucked into your dinner without another word. After eating, Ashton gently took your hand and guided you back to the living room. You cuddled together watching the tv, slowly your eyes drifted shut and you dreamed of becoming a perfect family with the man who’s arms were wrapped around you safely, keeping you grounded.