Author’s Note: Please check out the masterlist for parts 1-4 if you haven’t read those already. And thankyou to everyone who has been reading and supporting 🩷
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“It’s quiet today, hm?” A young guard, Junyi, says aloud.
“Yeah.. Shits boring” Heng replies to his friend, “Can’t wait to go get a drink after changeover” He sighs, running a tired hand through his brown locks.
“That’s if our relief shows up” Junyi reminds him.
“Oh, they better. If Wu and Xiao think they can keep slacking off around here, I’m gonna kick their-“
“Ahem” The voice effectively cuts Heng’s rant short, his shoulders shooting up as he startles. When he turns to face the voice, his heart drops to his stomach.
“Your highness!” Heng bows frantically, “A thousand sorries, my lady, I did not see you there” He apologizes, as Mai removes her hood.
“Your highness” Junyi speaks up, black strands of hair frame his face as he bows for a moment. “We were not expecting your visit. What are you doing here?” His dark eyebrows furrow.
“Are you questioning me?” Mai narrows her eyes.
“No, my lady! I apologize” Junyi replies, “What can we do for you?” He adds quickly, hoping to smooth things over.
Both guards stand anxiously as they await Mai’s response. Her face is pinched into her signature scowl, but they notice something’s off.
Is she drunk? Heng thinks to himself.
Carefully his eyes dart to the left, sending a look to his colleague. Junyi immediately catches the other man’s gaze, obviously thinking the same thing. Then, Mai’s scent begins to linger in the air, successfully confirming both their suspicions.
She reeks of alcohol.
“Where is she?” Mai inquires. Surprisingly, it’s the first sentence she’s slurred, and it’s only the tiniest bit, given how strong she smells.
“She? Your highness?” Heng feigns confusion, to which Mai rolls her eyes. Her arms cross over her chest, as she taps a foot impatiently.
“Who else would I be referring to?” Mai says, growing irritated.
“A-Are you sure that’s a good idea right now, my lady? In your current state-“ Junyi says, hoping his choice of words are respectful enough.
They aren’t.
“In my current state?!” Mai all but growls the words, and his brown eyes widen as the irate woman steps up to him. Junyi’s heart beats loudly against his ribcage, and all Heng can do, is watch on as Mai presses a rough finger into his friend’s chest.
“That’s the second time you’ve questioned me, peasant” She says darkly, and the young guard is speechless from fear. His mouth opens and closes, like a fish out of water, but no sound comes.
Instilling such panic in the man seems to relax her rage for the moment. She decides to spare him, taking a few steps back, and smoothing out her attire with a deep breath.
“You would do better to think less, and listen more” Junyi nods profusely at her words, before bowing. Mai then turns her attention to Heng, who stiffens at her glare.
“Take me to her, now” Her voice is calm, but threatening, and it has the young man sputtering.
“Y-Yes, your highness” Heng says with a quick bow, learning from Junyi’s error. “P-Please, follow me, my lady”
As they walk through the massive corridors, Mai takes in her surroundings. Rusty cell doors, steaming pipes, and the occasional chitter of rats. It’s what she’d expect of a typical prison, although the lack of torturing devices is quite disappointing in her opinion.
“Leave” Mai says curtly once she’s in front of the exact cell she wants. Heng gladly follows the order, ecstatic to get away from the madwoman.
“Well well, my dear old friend. To what do I owe this visit?” Azula’s sweet smile almost looks genuine.. almost. But Mai knows behind that facade, is a cruel, depraved soul.
Azula sits on a lone pillow in the middle of the large cell. Her legs are crossed, with her elbows on her thighs as if she’d been meditating. Mai also notices the shackle cuffed around her left ankle. There’s an extra long chain for mobility that trails from her leg, back to the far wall where it’s attached.
“You mean, old servant? We were never truly friends” Mai quips, folding her arms over her chest. Azula looks down at her fingernails, an unbothered look on her face.
“Trust me, even back then, I was aware you were only around because of my mother’s wishes for me to have friends” She looks up to Mai now, a sinful look in her eyes, “But I kept you around because you were convenient.. pliable” Azula smirks as she reminisces on all the terrible things Mai had done for her. She stands from her pillow, holding her hands above her head and stretching a moment.
“You talk like I’m some idiot you manipulated. I had to listen to you, you were the princess. No one would have listened if it wasn’t for that title” Mai tries to defend herself.
“You listened to me because you liked my brother” Azula corrects, and the way Mai’s eyes widen doesn’t go unnoticed to her piercing gaze.
“You wanted to be around him, and if you pissed me off, you’d have been kicked out of the palace. How frustrating it must have been, to be on your best behavior for me, and even still, his eyes were on someone else” She says, and then her eyebrows furrows as if in thought for a quick moment.
“Y/N, was it?” Azula surprises even herself by remembering your mundane name. “It was clear Zuko liked her, and quite obvious that they were sneaking off together” She recalls, and Mai is glaring daggers at her as her teeth grit. “Yet, like the insecure, desperate thing you are, you stayed around. Even now, thats why you’re here, isn’t it? Desperation?”
“What are you even talking about?” Mai’s eyebrows pinch in confusion at Azula’s words, and audacity.
How, even in this mangy cell, could she be so condescending? Mai thinks to herself.
“The guards around here talk, Mai. And you of all people should know I have remarkable hearing” Azula smirks, “They speak of your hardships with my.. brother” She says the last word as if it disgusts her to be related to Zuko.
“You know nothing. These people spout any gossip they hear, true or otherwise” Mai tries to fight back, although, not sounding as convincing as she’d like.
“Then why are you here?” Azula fires back quickly. It’s a simple question, but it seems to catch Mai off guard.
“If you were truly happy, and your marriage was worth the ground you stand on, you’d not be here. You said it yourself, you were never my friend. I’ve been down here for years with not so much as a letter, or morsel from you; so why are you here now?” The question floats in the air for a moment, before Azula answers it herself.
“You’re desperate” Her mouth pulls into a devious smirk.
Checkmate.
“I-” Mai falters, mouth agape as she racks her brain of a response; but Azula is already pressing again.
“Being with Zuzu not going as well as you’d hoped, hm? Doesn’t sound like it would, when the man will never actually love you” She criticizes as she walks towards the cell bars, the sound of her chain dragging on the floor. “So in a drunken stupor, you think you’ll waltz down here, and gloat your freedom in front of me” She continues to stalk closer.
“I bet you thought you’d see me looking filthy, pathetic, and woebegone” Azula feigns a pout as she speaks, then exaggerates a quivering lip, as if on the verge of sobbing. The former princess finally closes the distance between herself and the door, leaning against the rusted surface. She sizes the other woman up like prey. Her stare is ruthless, as she continues her brutal onslaught.
“You thought it’d make you feel better seeing me in a cell. A desperate, last ditch effort to try and forget how miserable your life is”
“Shut up” Mai finally speaks up, squeezing her eyes shut. She shakes her head, as if to ward off Azula’s cruel words, but to no avail. They cut deeper than any blade, because she knows Azula is right. Mai can’t help but feel like a powerless teenager all over again.
“Poor Mai, it doesn’t matter what you do. You’ll never be happy. Never have the perfect life, or perfect marriage you dreamt of. All because Zuko still loves the dead girl more than y-“
“I said, shut up!” Mai erupts this time, releasing a flurry of kunai. Azula, being the agile fighter she is, catapults herself upwards. Flipping backwards midair, she effectively dodges every blade flawlessly, except for one. It nicks her ear as she lands on her feet, before it accompanies the rest of the kunai that are stabbed into the back wall. Azula hisses slightly, her hand coming up to touch the cut. She scoffs after looking at the small amount of blood on her fingers.
“Did I strike a nerve?” She’s amused by this, and it only enrages Mai more. But, having already heard the conversation escalating; Heng, Junyi, and a handful of other guards are on the scene quickly.
“Evil bitch!” Mai bawls as she’s held back.
“I’ll kill you! I’ll fucking kill you!” She continues to repeat hysterically, struggling against the several pairs of arms trying to restrain her.
“So angry, Mai” She continues to antagonize, tutting her tongue to feign disappointment. An anger fueled, frustrated scream rips from Mai’s throat, and the guards have no choice but to remove her like they would any disturbance. One of the larger guards, Asahi, easily hoists her body up from behind; arms locking around her in a bear hug. The action effectively pins Mai’s arm to her sides
“Get off of me!” She shouts as she fights against the hold, and Heng is right there to grab her legs when she begins to flail them. All the while, having gotten this reaction out of someone like Mai, has Azula swelling with pride.
“Goodbye Mai, say hello to Zuzu for me” Her mocking laughter rings through the halls, even as they descend further, and further from her cell.
“Please, we mean no disrespect, your highness” Warden Aoi’s deep voice, breaks Mai out of her disassociation. “But we must ask you to leave” His authoritative tone is stern, but respectful.
Mai takes a moment to look around at the other guards who have let her go, after hearing their superior speak. The men and women stare at her with a mixture of looks. Some have wide eyes because they’re unaware of what she’ll do next, while some look at her with pity from seeing her breakdown. But no matter what the look in their eyes, all of them are silently pleading with her to comply.
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“This looks familiar” Says a voice, and Zuko’s eyes widen at the sound.
He looks toward the door, furrowing his brow when he sees that it was in fact closed, and locked, like he’d left it. He wretches again, eyes blurring with tears, as he tries to focus on steadying his breathing.
“There you go, take your time” He hears, then feels a hand soothingly rubbing his back. The fire lord breathes in and out for a moment, teardrops plopping to the floor when he closes his eyes.
Theres a beat of silence before he finally looks up, and when does, he knows he must be dreaming.
“Your highness” You’re sat on your knees next to him, your hand still on his back as you smile. Zuko’s heart beats wildly in his chest. He hadn’t been this close to you in so long, and the last time he was, it was while holding your lifeless corpse.
“It really is you” He whispers, almost like he feels even breathing the wrong way, you’ll disappear. The same way you did in his dream.
“You’ve been calling out to me, of course I had to come” You say, removing the hand from his back, and placing it gently on his cheek.
“Calling out to you?” Zuko seems to be in a daze as he looks at you, melting into your light touch.
“Your dreams.. You’ve been calling my spirit to you” You explain, and Zuko immediately looks as if he’s embarrassed.
“Oh” He looks away as a blush begins to covers his cheeks, “I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry” The apology makes you giggle, and the pink tint on his cheeks, soon becomes a deep red shade.
“Don’t worry, it’s okay” You turn his face back, gently forcing him to look at you. “It’s definitely not something to be embarrassed about” You smile as you reassure him. The fire lord watches you in awe, as you begin to stand to your feet, before outstretching both hands toward him. He gratefully accepts your help, and once he’s on his feet, the two of you stare at eachother a moment.
“I’m glad you’ve been calling me” You squeeze his hands, “I think it’s time we talked”
“Y-Yeah” Zuko says breathlessly.
This can’t be real, he thinks to himself.
“Ask me anything you want” You say, releasing his hands, before sitting gracefully in a chair behind you.
Zuko’s mouth feels dry as he takes in the sight before him.
You look much happier than the day he lost you. There’s a peaceful look on your pretty face, as you sit with your hands folded in your lap. You don a floor length, flowing white gown, and your dainty feet are bare, toes poking from underneath the material of your dress. Your ethereal body seems to glow, even more so from the moonlight cascading in from the window, and a warm smile adorns your face.
“Stop smiling so much” Zuko grumbles, and you’re immediately taken aback.
“Excuse me?” You eyebrows furrow at his tone, as your smile falters.
“How can you sit here, looking so happy? You’re dead!” He yells, exasperated, and throwing his arms into the air.
“Zuko, I’ve come to terms with this” You sigh. “Just because I’m a spirit, I’m supposed to be sad all the time?” You ask, and Zuko looks at you incredulously.
“Yes!” Zuko exclaims. Your eyes widen at his volume, watching as he tugs harshly at his hair.
“You died!” He yells, “It is sad! I know I’m sad.. I’m so fucking sad” He says, taking a moment to look at you seriously. It feels like he’s losing his mind.
“I’m miserable, Y/N” Zuko sounds utterly defeated. “You left me here all alone. W-Why didn’t you just tell me you were sick?” His sorrowful demeanor, has a powerful wave of guilt settling in your stomach, as he stares at you awaiting a response.
His eyes are full of anguish, but also frustration, as he tries to wrap his head around why you’d keep this from anyone at all.
The pressure of his gaze must prove too much for you, because he watches as your gaze drops to your hands, nervously playing with your fingers. The same habit you had when you were living, you’d apparently brought to your after life as well. Unbeknownst to you, it seems to ease the fire lord a bit.
“I was scared to lose you” You quietly admit before you finally look back up at him.
“Why would you be scared to-” Realization sets in, and Zuko’s eyes widen. “Y-You.. were in love with me?” There’s a shy look on your face, that gives him his answer right away.
“Ever since that day Azula pushed me into you. When I looked into your eyes..” You trail off, before taking a deep breath. “Even though we were young, I knew right then and there, that you were the only person I ever wanted” Zuko stares at you in disbelief.
“You should’ve told me! I.. I could’ve saved you” Tears well in his eyes, and he turns his back to you, not wanting you to see him cry.
“I don’t know what to do without you. It’s been years, and I still think about you everyday. My fiancée is leaving me, and I can’t even pretend to be sad about it, because I can’t get you out of my mind. Mai.. she knew, that even after all this time, she could never compare to you. No one ever will” Zuko’s shoulders slump at his last words, and you slowly stand up from your chair, walking over to him.
“Zuko” You start, your hand lightly touching his shoulder. “You have to make peace with this, just like I did” Zuko shrugs away from your touch, turning back to face you, a mixture of anger, and hurt, in his eyes.
“How do I make peace with this?! Huh?! Knowing I could have done something, and you didn’t tell anybody what was going on?!” He yells.
“Fine, Zuko! No, I didn’t tell anyone anything! Neither did you! I would rather have died than to watch you be with Mai. I was being selfish okay?!” You yell back, which has the fire lord tucking his tail between his legs.
“When you were banished, I missed you every single day you were gone. I worried about you so much, sometimes, I’d make myself sick. I told myself, if we ever met again, I’d tell you how I felt. But you came back and things were so different” You look up at him sadly. “I expected some changes after everything you’d been through, but you were so distance.. Then you started dating Mai and“ Your voice trails off, before releasing a deep sigh.
“I thought you’d be happy with the woman you chose, and I refused to risk losing my memory of you completely. You made your choice, and I made mine” You explain. You both stand in silence for a moment, neither one looking at the other.
“I’m sorry” Zuko finally says, making you look up at him. His head hangs sadly, and you can just barely make out the tears that drop to the floor at his feet. “I’m just upset with myself” His fists clench, and his eyes squeeze shut. “I convinced myself that settling for Mai, was better than just admitting how I truly felt. All because of my fear of being rejected, and losing you. I hoped my feelings for you would subside, but they didn’t, and still haven’t. I did what I thought was the best course of action not to lose you, but..” He sniffles,” I-I still lost you” His cheeks drip with tears, and he finally meets your gaze as he continues to speak.
“That day, at the beach, I knew in my gut that something was wrong, and I still let you go by yourself. I should’ve been there for you, and I don’t think I can ever forgive myself for-“ Before he can finish his sentence, you’re pressing your lips to his, something you’d both wanted deeply for years. Zuko’s heart soars as he kisses you back. When you pull away, there’s a flustered blush covering his cheeks.
“This wasn’t your fault, Zuko. There were so many times I wanted to tell you how I felt, but I could never find the courage. We were young, and terrified of losing someone we cared about. Please, don’t blame yourself for this anymore” No matter how many times Zuko had heard so many others say the same thing, it never affected him. But hearing it from you, feels different. He can quite literally feel a weight lifted from his shoulders.
“I love you, Zuzu” He takes a deep breath, smiling weakly at the nickname.
You’d started calling him it when you two were younger, and you were the only one he allowed to call him such a dorky name. It started out as a joke, but after a while it stuck, and soon became the way you always greeted him. One day, unfortunately, you accidentally said it, and Azula happened to be close by. After overhearing what she deemed, ‘such an embarrassing nickname’, she decided she’d use it too. She knew it’d bother him, and she thrived off seeing Zuko’s face pinch in anger when she’d say it. Typical Azula.
You sit back down in the chair, and extend your arms out to him.
“Come here” You say, and Zuko approaches you without a second thought. Slowly he drops to his knees in front of you, hugging your waist, and burying his cheek into your stomach.
This was something you two would do a lot when you would sneak off to the library.
Since Zuko was never really one to talk about his feelings, when he felt upset in anyway, this is what you two did. Whether it be from Azula’s constant poking, his father’s scrutiny, the strict life of loyalty, or all of the above, he would find you, and use you as his personal pillow. Sometimes you’d just sit in a comfortable silence. But often times you’d take the chance to read him something, all while your fingertips gently stroke his face and through his hair.
There were so many times while he was banished, that he wanted nothing more, than to be with you like this. He had his uncle, of course, but he missed being held by you.
“I love you so much” Zuko says, tears escaping his eyes, as he begins to cry into your stomach.
“I love you too” Your one hand squeezes his shoulder reassuringly, while the other rubs his upper back soothingly.
“I just w-want to be with you, I-I can’t take it anymore” Zuko is sobbing at this point; hiccuping and sniffling when he tries to breathe.
“I know, my love” You say, as he tries to hug your waist tighter, but it feels just like that dream he had before..
You’re fading.
“Please don’t go, please..” Zuko says weakly.
“My lord?” The servant’s voice calls out from the other side of the door. “Your fiancee is back, and she wishes to speak with you”
“Zuko! I know you’re in there!” Mai pounds at the door, after roughly pushing the guard out of her way. Her nostrils flare slightly when she gets no response, and she brings her fist up to beat on the door again “If you don’t open this damn door, I swear, I’ll open it myself! Do you hear me?!” Silence, still.
“You want to be difficult? Fine!” Removing a blade from up her sleeve, Mai begins to carefully pick the lock.
“Madam-“ The servant begins to speak, but is quickly cut off by multiple arrow-like stilettos pinning him to the wall.
“Try anything else, and the next one’ll be going through your eye” Mai threatens, and the man frantically nods. She turns her attention back to the lock, skillfully picking at it until she hears the satisfying click of it unlocking.
She bursts into the room, eyes scanning the room, and hellbent on giving the Fire Lord a piece of her mind.
“Zuko! I-“ She immediately cuts herself off when she looks down. There he is, unconscious, and laying on his side.
“Zuko?!” Mai rushes over, quickly dropping to her knees next to him, and accessing his body. She pulls his wrist into her grasp, shaky fingers finding his weak pulse. He’s drenched in sweat, and bright blossoms are littered near his body. She even removes a few petals she notices peaking through his lips.
“Shit, no, Zuko, c’mon” She lifts his upper body to hold him in her arms, patting his face gently to try and wake him. When he still doesn’t respond, she panics.
“Somebody h-“ Zuko slowly lifts an arm, putting a weak finger up to shush her.
“Don’t” Is all he says, and Mai looks down, eyes widening as big as saucers.
“Don’t?!” She says in utter disbelief, ”W-What the hell do you mean don’t?!” She questions, her breathing uneven, as tears flow down her cheeks.
“I’m sorry” Zuko says genuinely, “For the way I’ve treated you all these years. You didn’t deserve that.. to be treated like second best” His voice is quiet, and calm, the exact opposite of how Mai is feeling in this moment.
“W-What? Why are you saying this?” Her eyebrows furrow as she looks down at him in disbelief.
“We all deserve someone who loves us, and to be with someone we truly love” He explains, staring up at the ceiling with a weak smile.
“And I’m finally going to be with her”
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Thank you to everyone who read and showed some much love, especially to my babies in the tag list, I appreciate you all so much. It’s been so fun to see everyone’s reactions to this story, and I’m so happy it’s still enjoyable even after six whole years. And once again shout out to @celamoon for the original post that even sparked this story. -Bunny 🩷🩷🩷
PREV PART
Trigger warnings: slight manupilation, maybe a bit of an open ending?. short, un-edited
Author note: I suck at writing happy endings; I rewrote this quite a few times (some even on paper, tearing those apart was nice). It might also be difficult for me with this story since it turned into an experimental story later on plus my DC knowledge became more recent later on. Still I hope all of you like this ending, if not, I like the bad ending a lot.
main m.list series m.list bad ending m.list
"Will you be happy?" Maria asked you after Gordon found out what his daughter was.
You couldn't answer, because you don't know what happiness is. You remember an illusion of happiness — you don't remember what it truly is. So no, you wouldn't be happy even if Bruce rots in a jail cell.
If Batman is taking off the streets what would happen to Gotham? Would she fall in disarray? Would she turn into the nightmare she was in Bruce's childhood?
You believe she would, maybe that's why you sabotaged any investigation around you. If the world knew you weren't a perfect victim — it would fuck you up. Perhaps that's why Maria asked you that, is justice as important as your happiness?
You would argue not, but is justice not something the world needs to move on? Something society needs to evolve and learn from it's mistakes. Only the price that comes with changing legalisation and getting support is far too great for someone like you.
Someone who's life is still hanging on by a thread, so Cobblepot and Maria's family arranged something. A path for you to walk on that will be with less thorns; you would have to cut off everyone you love to do it.
Move away to a different country and apply to universities there. You would get in without any problem and that's why you arranged it. You applied in England and many other European countries — you have the money to move due to Bruce's guilt.
Only you would rather spend it on Francis and his family. That way the blood money would be spend on the family whose blood spilled on the ground.
You even fantasied about murdering your family with your bare hands. You wanted to spill their blood like your brothers made Willow's, only it wouldn't bring her back. Besides it would make you just as bad as your family. You could see the headlines: (name) (last name) murdered family: is this due to abuse or nefarious reasons?
It would overshadow the one trail you are determined not to fuck up or sabotage.
Even with your father now in front of you, begging for you to just do that.
"Testify that I ordered them to do these murders," Bruce starts, his voice low. It almost sounds as if he's commanding you, but one stare from you and his voice became softer. "that they only did it because of me and that they deserve mercy."
"Do you ever show mercy?" you ask Bruce; you know he does. He just doesn't show it to civilians in the way of his family. "Do you realise that your parents are turning in their grave because of the monster you've become?"
That question made him clench his fists, something that made you grin.
"Don't worry," you smile. "Dick and Jason are big boys who can protect themselves."
They aren't.
They wouldn't kill their fellow prisoners when they are sentenced — Jason might — but they would kill them. A police officer and the Wayne that came back to life. A pair ripe for the picking.
"Willow and Francis couldn't, however." You tell Bruce just before you stand up.
You're going to leave and you're going to watch your family burn in court. Not for the neglect they put you through, but you will watch them burn for murder.
After that you'll disappear. You'll go somewhere far away and you'll never be found again.
That's the plan, and to do that you have to move your money around. A task that is supposed to be difficult — legalities and all — but having friends in darker places sure helps.
"I'll miss you," Flora whispers the day you've been prepped for the stand. "I don't want to be cut off from you."
"Sometimes you have to let your loved ones go," Francis reminded Flora, but his words sounded so hollow that the notion felt like a death sentence. He's correct, however.
"Or you could come with you," you blurt out — it's not like Flora has any strong ties to this godforsaken city. "you would get in any universities you applied to."
Flora laughs, but she couldn't disagree. She only had one concern: "What about the finances?"
"Dear old dad refilled my trust fund with enough that we have time to find jobs." you promise, besides you saved up quite a lot from your side-job. Scholarships aren't out of the question either.
That's how it was decided; Flora and you would leave Gotham behind.
The two of you would disappear for as long as you can. Gotham will be something of the past, perhaps even America. It will take a while for the both of you to become happy, but at least you wouldn't be alone in making it.
—In which you find yourself missing your garden.
<<part one, part two, part four>>
A/n: This is probably going to be my last part, but anything after this that is related to this prompt/mini series will be just like stupid little blurbs, yk?
Sighing in relief, you wiped the sweat from your brow. You’d just managed to change the bandages on your leg, and that by itself was a workout.
It was irritating. You felt useless. Your only job was to tend to the garden— but he’d given that to some half pint, half assed little man. You didn’t like that little man, he let some flowers die.
And while having Sukuna’s affections and favor toward you was nice— you missed being special— being valuable for that reason. You knew the garden and everything it needed. No one else knew. No one took care of it like you did.
And while you were glaring at the wall, a pissy pout on your lips, you didn’t notice walking in, only to pause and stare at you. His eyes narrowed and it was like he tried to read your thoughts.
“What’s on your mind, brat?” Sukuna sat down a bowl of meat and fruit— thankfully not human, and just grilled chicken. Sukuna had tried that once, but when you’d figured out what it was— before eating it, you screamed and screamed and screamed at him. It didn’t matter if he threatened you, you were appalled.
Lessons were learned.
You’re not a cannibal.
Blinking from your trance, you look up to Sukuna, eyeing the frustrated frown on his lips. “What’s the matter? Eat.” He poked the side of your head and finally nodded in satisfaction when you did eat.
“You’ve replaced me.” You huffed, before gladly choking down the food. Being critically wounded in the leg would do it to a person. You’ve found yourself much more hungry and thirsty now a days. Maybe it was just having to deal with Sukuna’s energy. Or how he had his fingers or face shoved up your cunt 24/7.
“What are you on about now? If anything, I’ve raised your status. Of course, you’ll almost be as powerful as me when I make you my queen.” He grinned when he heard your heartbeat pick up. Oh he loved knowing the effect he had on you.
“Ok, but, now all I do all day is sit around and watch as your replacement ruins the garden.” You turned away from him, glaring outside the large open window and down at the garden.
“You’re still mad about that?” Sukuna rolled his eyes before wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling back into him as he sat. Your back rested on his chest and his knees were propped on either side of you.
“Yes.” You melted back against him nonetheless. His warmth always had you relaxing into him.
“You don’t want to be my queen?” Sukuna’s voice dropped a level, his eyes turning to a narrow glare.
“What? No. I never said that.” You turned your head to look at him so fast it gave you whiplash. “I just don’t like that some man is touching my garden.”
Sukuna wordlessly raised a brow, looking both amused and unimpressed at the same time.
“Your garden, hm?” Leaning in, he pressed sweet little kisses all along your neck, before promptly biting down on your shoulder, deep enough to actually draw a bit off blood.
“Ow! Hey— that hurts!” You tried to push him off by his forehead, hissing at the sting when he finally pulled away. “You are so mean.”
“You’re the one letting power get to your head. Calling it your garden, human you truly are something.” Sukuna grinned away the wound, happy with the way he could see each teeth mark imbedded into your kiss. The little pricks of blood giving him a level of satisfaction he’d never admit.
“Well— I- whatever.” Scoffing, you crossed your arms and looked back out the window.
“Seeing you so upset over something so trivial is quite amusing.” His arms tightened around you, and your scowl deepened.
“When will my leg heal?” Ignoring his comment, you tilted your head back to peak up at him.
“Hopefully not for a long time. I enjoy having you here like this… having to lean on me completely.” Sukuna just bit into your cheek. Grinning, almost smiling, when you whined and pulled away.
“Stop biting me! I’m going to have bruises everywhere. The servants look at me weird— and your concubines??? Where have they all gone?” You side eyed him, only for him to scoop you up and sit you on a table. Your legs dangling from the table.
“I don’t need them. Unfortunately for me, you’ve infected my brain like a little parasite. Well, humans are parasites, yet you seem to be my favorite.”
“How are you so mean but sweet at the same time?” You sighed, only to glare out the window again.
“You are impossible to please, woman. I will give you the garden, as long as you swear you’ll be my queen once you heal.” Sukuna pulled your face back over to him, his hand coming up to hold you cheeks.
Your eyes widened and a big smile pulled at your lips. “Really?”
Sukuna just sighed and rolled his eyes.
“Then yes! I will.” Pressing a kiss to his lips, only to pull away when he moved to take a step away.
A shit eating evil little fucking smirk on his lips, “of course, if you said no I’d still make you my queen and would flay the earth ‘til you said yes, but I am glad you did.”
You could only roll your eyes, “Anddd you ruined it.” Sighing, you looked down at your leg, before giving him a cheeky grin, “can I have some mango’s, my king?” You teased him.
Sukuna could feel his eye twitch and his cock throb, “and you call me evil. When you heal, be prepared to not walk for another week, woman.” Sukuna pressed a deep kiss to your lips, only for you to smile into it.
note: this is the longest part by far, and the longest piece i've written yet. this series was going to cover the last few chapters of the book from the p.o.v. of curtis!sister, and in this part, we came to the end of the book and went beyond it. it is pretty dark. i kinda got caught up and went a little off the rails. fair warning if you're not into that kind of stuff.
pairings: sorta still curtis!sister x johnny cade, but, ya know...
tw: MAJOR TW!! self-harm and suicide mentioned more than once. (please don't read if it may trigger you! if you need someone to talk to, my inbox is always open!) depression. death. blood. guns. drinking. copiside. hella angst. mild language. one last warning to please skip this one if it may trigger you!!
description: just when you thought you couldn't sink any lower...nothing is worth feeling like this. johnny and dallas were gone, and you were left here in the aftermath.
word count: 3.4k
𓂃𓈒⟡・𓂃𓈒⟡・𓂃𓈒⟡・𓂃𓈒⟡・𓂃𓈒⟡・𓂃𓈒⟡・𓂃𓈒⟡・𓂃𓈒⟡𓂃
It seemed like ages before you finally pulled yourself away from Darry's chest. Your eyes were swollen from all the crying, and your throat was so tight and hoarse. No one spoke. Everyone was just sitting around, staring blankly. Two-Bit was mindlessly tossing playing cards around on the dining table. You walked into the dining room, and Two looked up as you took the seat beside of him. The pitiful look he sent your way made you feel uncomfortable. You slumped face-down onto the table, using your crossed arms as a pillow. Two-Bit reached over and patted you on the back. Everyone was startled when the phone rang out in the silence that filled the house.
Steve was nearest to the phone, so he picked it up and answered with a simple, "Yeah?"
You couldn't hear who was on the other end of the call, but Steve pulled the receiver away from his ear and told Darry it was for him.
"Hello?", you heard your brother say into the phone. "Yeah?....Sure, Dal. Are you alright?....We know....Hang on, we'll be right there!"
Darrel hung up the phone and whipped around to face all of you. His voice was panicked.
"That was Dally! The cops are after him! We gotta hide him!"
He hurriedly got out what exactly was happening and said that he told Dallas we'd meet him at the park. Everyone jumped up and just started to run. Right out the door and towards the park, without even a second thought. Dallas was in major trouble. How was he going to get out of it this time?
The air was heavy and humid. The sky dark. Your lungs felt like they were going to explode, but you ran along as fast as possible. As you all approached the park, you saw Dally standing atop a small hill underneath the glow of the streetlights. The policemen were quickly surrounding him, and he looked like a mouse caught in a trap. His eyes were intense and defiant. He reached into the waistband of his jeans and pulled out a gun. He quickly raised it and aimed for the cops. You all were so so close, almost there to save him. Everyone was filled with breathless, sheer terror. He was just out of reach. The sounds of the loud bangs from the ends of the cops' guns tore through the night, just as their bullets tore through Dally. All the guys around you yelled and screamed, begging the police to hold their fire, saying that Dallas was just bluffing. That heater he held in his hand wasn't loaded. It never had been.
Dallas crumpled onto the wet concrete, right as you all had finally reached him. He made a futile attempt at a gasp for air, crawled forward a foot or so, and then whispered Pony's name before rolling to his back and lying motionlessly at your feet. He was dead. You knew as soon as you saw him raise that gun that he was a dead man. You glanced down to look at what remained of your most reckless, unstable friend. Blood gushed from the many holes covering his body. One single thought started to eat away at you now. Why hadn't you tried harder to stop Dallas when he ran from Johnny's hospital room? You could've prevented this. It's your fault Dallas is dead. You turned your back to him swiftly, walked away a couple of steps, and threw up right there on the street. You spun back around just in time to see Ponyboy swaying and then falling straight to the ground with a heavy thud. Everyone surrounded him while Darry pulled him up by the front of his shirt, trying to wake him...
Johnny and Dallas were buried in Oaklawn Cemetery, exactly 27 steps apart from one another. Neither one had a funeral or even a real headstone. Just small plaques that bore only their names and the year they passed.
It has been about 3 months now since they died. It all still feels as though it happened yesterday. Ponyboy was sick for days following his black out that night. He was bedbound for another week once he finally woke up. You weren't doing too hot afterwards either. You had been conscious, sure, but in a catatonic state. You laid in bed and never moved. No one could get you to eat. No one could get you to speak. You either slept all day, or none at all. Just zoned out constantly. Completely numb to everything around you. You didn't even cry anymore. Darry and Soda were worn thin trying to split their time between the two of you and still work everyday as well. Once the trial had come and gone, Pony spent a few more weeks in a daze before he finally began to come out of it. He started to write about his experience, and that helped him to process what had taken place. Him and Darry promised to stop fighting with each other, and they kept true to their word. Things seemed to be going well for Ponyboy again.
You, on the other hand, you could not move forward. You were stuck back in that hospital room, running your fingers through Johnny's bangs, kissing him gently on the lips. You were still standing in the park watching Dally's blood pool below you as he struggles for a last breath. Your brothers and what was left of the gang were all extremely worried about you. Darry had forced you to return to school, thinking that keeping you on a normal routine would be beneficial, but you continued to move through life like a zombie. You hadn't turned in a single assignment or even so much as written your name at the top of a paper at school. You ate only when absolutely necessary and only did so to keep your brothers off your back. Nothing anyone could do was helping you. Your brothers felt like they were having to watch another person they cared about slip away. Again. But, this time agonizingly slow.
The only time you had spoken at all during this period was on one occasion to Ponyboy and Two-Bit. They were staying with you at the house one afternoon before Darry, Soda, and Steve had gotten off from work. They were the only ones who knew what had happened with the confessions of your and Johnny's shared feelings of love. You told them about what had happened right before Pony and Dally had walked into Johnny's hospital room for the last time too, just needing to get it off of your chest. Once you had started talking again, it was hard to stop. You also accidentally let slip about how you thought you were to blame for Dallas dying. Two-Bit and Ponyboy tried their best to convince you that this wasn't true, but you quickly dismissed their arguments. You made them both swear to secrecy. No one else needed to know about you and Johnny. That was very important to you, to keep this special memory private. You were also so ashamed for what happened with Dally, and you didn't want anyone to know you could've had the power to prevent his death and didn't give it your all. You were going to do everything you could to make sure that no one found out about these things. The boys were just so glad you had spoken to them at all that they quickly agreed to keep quiet. Once you were positive they were being truthful about keeping your secrets, you reverted back to your mutism.
All three of your brothers had become so worried about you at one point, that they decided it was best to take the lock off of your bedroom door. Worried what you might do if you had the means to lock yourself away from everyone. Even so, and even with the extra careful eyes on you at any given moment, you had still managed to use your switch to leave tiny cuts on your right ankle. No one had noticed. Why your brothers hadn't thought to remove the blade from your possession, you weren't sure, but you were glad they hadn't. This was your only outlet now. You made sure to never go high enough to where your socks wouldn't cover them up. Sometimes, when you were left alone to smoke a cigarette, you'd use it to burn a couple of small circles there as well. When you felt your skin sear, it made you think about the burns that had littered Johnny's beautiful body and how much pain he must've been in before Dallas had pulled him from the flames. You just yearned so desperately to feel anything at all. Even if it was bad. Even if it was pain. Physical pain had become your favorite distraction from the mental anguish you suffered day in and day out.
Your depressed state reached a crisis point not long after that. That night, you had just wanted to get some fresh air and spend some time alone, so you snuck out of your bedroom window after your brothers had gone to sleep, afraid they'd hear you if you used the front door. They were none the wiser. Before you left, you had went to the kitchen and grabbed a few beers. "Might as well have some fun," you thought to yourself. You wandered aimlessly through the streets while you downed your drinks. The longer you walked, the more unsteady your balance became. You had never drank before in your life, and the booze was hitting you hard. You weren't sure how you ended up here, but you now found yourself at the train tracks that split Tulsa in two, right down the middle. You finished off your last beer while taking a seat on the tracks. You felt a cold breeze sweep all around your body, and you shivered. You cursed at yourself for not bringing a jacket.
Evil thoughts started to swirl through your head, and they were influenced by the alcohol buzzing in your system. Life had become too much to handle. You missed Johnny too much. You ached to have him with you again. And, you never could shake the feeling that Dallas would still be here if you had chased after him that night. First, your mom and dad, then Johnny and Dally too. That's more loss than anyone should ever have to experience. You were sinking lower and lower. You held the neck of your last beer bottle and banged the other end on the tracks to break it off. You lifted your pant leg, brought the sharp edge of the glass close, and swiped it across quickly. Your haste had caused you to cut much deeper and larger than ever before. Big deal, who cares? It was shocking and thrilling. You watched as the blood trickled down into your shoe. You started to make another slice, but paused for a moment right before dragging the glass across your skin. A sudden realization had come to your mind. It dawned on you now exactly why Dallas had done what he had done. Dally loved Johnny too; the only person in the whole world he truly considered his family. He knew that he couldn't live without Johnny, and that he couldn't bring Johnny back either, so he decided to join him on the other side. He wanted to be with Johnny again, and he made it happen. How had this escaped your notice until now? Maybe this was the way out. Dally had the right idea. You could have your Johnny back. You could be with your parents again too. You could save your brothers and the other guys the trouble of having to deal with you any longer. One less thing to worry about, one less mouth to feed, one less person taking up space in that tiny house. It all could be solved with just one simple action.
For the first time in months, you actually felt a smile on your face. You finally felt something. You were happy. Finally happy and finally sure about what was going to happen with your life. It was going to stop. Everything will stop. You felt the tracks start to shake, and you heard the sound of a train fast approaching in the distance. This was your chance. Perfect timing. It seemed like it was meant to be. You threw the broken bottle off to the side and stood. You faced the train head on. You felt so light. Peace washed over you as you waited for your end to come. You saw the train rushing towards you. You heard the conductor blowing the whistle, urging you to move away from the tracks. You stood your ground and held your arms out on either side of you. Everything was falling into place. Your heart was pounding in your ears as you squeezed your eyes shut and whispered a small 'goodbye' to this cruel life you were living.
Something you wouldn't ever have expected was Steve tackling you to the ground right before the train struck. You both barely fell out of the way as the locomotive flew by.
"WHAT THE HELL, (Y/N)?!? ARE YOU TRYIN' TO GET YOURSELF KILLED?!?", he yelled at you. You both breathed heavily while lying next to each other in the gravel.
You sat up and hugged your knees to your chest. You didn't dare look to Steve in this moment. He sat up too. His brow was furrowed as he searched your eyes for any sign of remorse. His question had been answered by the lack of an answer from you. His face paled, and he dropped his head into his hands, rubbing his temples in slow circles. He had tears filling eyes. He let out a jagged exhale, and his voice wobbled as he spoke quietly to you.
"What were you thinking, (Y/N)? How could you do that to us? To your brothers? You can't leave. Not yet. Not like this, okay?"
He shifted his weight to his knees, leaned forward, and wrapped his arms around your small frame. Your stoic facade fractured away, and you hugged him back tightly. The mask you had worn for the last few months was gone. You both stayed in this position for quite a while, just holding each other. You sobbed in his arms, and he was letting his own tears fall as well.
"Come on, darlin'. Let's get you back home, eh?", he softy said to you.
He helped you up off the ground. He could tell you were cold, so he threw his jacket around you and held on to you while you both made your way back to your house. You were still very wobbly on your feet and very much drunk. You stumbled along beside Steve. He noticed the blood dripping from your foot as you walked. He halted and stopped you from continuing to walk as well. You were too out of it to fight back as he reached down and pulled up the leg of your jeans just a little to see where it was coming from. He was met with the many cuts and burns, old a new, that you have marked yourself with. Your most fresh cut bright red and gaped open. That's where the blood was originating. He sucked in a breath and lowered your pant leg back down. He tossed an arm around your shoulder and carried on walking with you at his side.
You walked up the porch steps to your home, and Steve held the front door for you. You entered your house and made your way to your bedroom, plopping belly first onto your bed. The world was spinning, and you just wanted to lie down. You closed your eyes, but remained awake. You heard a knock on the door across the hall from yours. Darry's bedroom. You heard some shuffling and whispers. Then, you heard Ponyboy and Sodapop's door creak open too. You were oblivious to what was going on, but Steve had awoken your brothers and gathered them in the living room to tell them what he had just witnessed.
He told them about how he had fought with his dad and left his house to head over to the theirs and sleep it off. How he had been passing by the train tracks when he spotted you there. How you had come within one second away from getting struck by a train, and how you were welcoming it with open arms and a smile. How you'd have died if he hadn't been there at just the right time. He spoke about you being drunk as a skunk. About the blood trailing behind you with each step. About finding the cuts, the burns. All the things you have so carefully been keeping held in and hidden away.
Soda's bottom lip began to quiver as he started to bawl. Steve embraced his best friend, and they shared a soft, consoling hug. Steve was extremely upset too. You were the closest thing he had to a little sister, and he loved you just like he loved Soda. Darry took a seat in his armchair and raked his fingers through his hair, pulling roughly on the ends of it. He tried and failed to control his breathing. Tears blurred his vision as his head fell into his hands. His body began to be wracked with sobs. Pony sat slumped on the couch with his arms crossed and a guilty look on his face. He knew just exactly why Johnny and Dally's deaths had affected you so much, but he had been sworn to secrecy. He fought with himself for a long time as tears cascaded down his cheeks. He knew that now was the time to say something about this. It was only hurting everyone more to keep your secrets any longer. Ponyboy cleared his throat to get everyone's attention, and then he started blabbing. He talked to them about you telling Johnny you loved him, him confessing that he felt the same from his hospital bed, and you and Johnny's first and last kiss right before he died. He told them about how you felt you were at fault for Dallas's downfall and death, because you hadn't followed after him that night. He told them everything. Darry, Soda, and Steve listened attentively, and now it all made sense to them why you had been acting the way you had. You had lost something more than just a good buddy when Johnny passed. You lost your love. You lost your closest confidant. You lost any possible future with him. And, on top of it all, you truly believed you were the cause of a close friend's demise. Since you were safe now with your brothers, Steve decided he needed to leave the family alone to deal with this however they saw fit. He hugged Sodapop once more, and even gave Darry and Ponyboy one too, before heading back to his own home.
You were finally about to fall into a restless slumber when you heard multiple footsteps making their way to where you rested. You didn't move an inch and pretended to be fully asleep. You heard the chair you kept next to your vanity scrape the floor as somebody dragged it towards your bed and took a seat. You felt your bed dip and someone else lifted your head and placed it into their lap. You could tell who it was by how gentle they were being. Soda. He stroked your hair slowly, and you felt little droplets start to hit you. His tears. You pictured his handsome features contorted with despair, and it made you feel even more terrible than you already did. A big, calloused hand grabbed yours and squeezed tightly. Darry. The strongest guy you knew, and he had been reduced to a trembling mess. A third presence had taken a seat near your feet and lightly touched you on the leg. Pony. He ran his fingers up your ankle to move your jeans out of the way, revealing to him your numerous scars and fresh, bleeding gash. He fought down a broken whimper, but a small squeak still made its way out.
Your head was swimming. You felt awful for how you've made your brothers feel. They don't deserve that. You love them so much. It scared you now to think about how close you had gotten to putting them through having to lose another family member. It scared you even more that you couldn't stop thinking about how leaving them still felt like the option you desired most. You pushed every single thought inside your head aside. You'd deal with the repercussions of your actions later. For now, you drifted off to sleep while your brothers surrounded you with their love and support. Not a single one of those boys knew how they were going to deal with all of this. They cautiously watched your chest rise and fall. Afraid to look away, like maybe it might stop if they did. Tomorrow was going to bring some massive shifting in the dynamics of the household, but they were going to do whatever it took to get you through this. This was not the end of your story.
𓂃𓈒⟡・𓂃𓈒⟡・𓂃𓈒⟡・𓂃𓈒⟡・𓂃𓈒⟡・𓂃𓈒⟡・𓂃𓈒⟡・𓂃𓈒⟡𓂃
note: wow, okay. don't know where all of that came from. i feel like this turned into something completely different than what the original idea was for the series, but oh well. i love the angsty shit.
Every man has his breaking point. Danny's is just a bit higher than everyone else's because he's a king and has a high tolerance for absolute bull shit. No matter how strong that bar is, though, one can only bend so far before snapping.
Unfortunately for everyone around him, Danny has reached his breaking point.
"I wish I could get drunk," he stared into his drink longingly, "Or high. But mostly drunk."
"Why do ya say that?" Billy asked, tilting his head curiously to the left.
Danny sighed, "It's a long story."
"I've got time." he shrugged.
"Are ya sure?" Danny raised an eyebrow. "You don't think any emergencies are gonna crop up? Nothing you'll need to go take care of?"
Billy backed off a little, folding into his seat. "What're you talking about? I'm just some kid on the street. I ain't going anywhere."
Danny rolled his head from side to side. "Mostly, I'm talking about the JL meeting the both of us are gonna skip out on tonight."
"What-?"
"C'mon, Captain, it won't do to talk here," he stood, picking up his coffee and waiting for Billy to do the same.
Billy's eyes narrowed as he looked Danny up and down. "I don't recognise you," he whispered, "Who are you."
Danny produced another calling card from his sleeve as he sipped his drink, holding it in front of himself but not handing it over. When Billy was looking at it, he flipped it over. The white background turned matte black, all the runes in the Ouroboros turning so white that they glowed. The DP in the very middle tinted blue, pulsing with toxic green energy, slightly cold to the touch. The edges started to frost over.
Quickly, Billy pulled the card Danny had given him before from the inner pocket of his jacket. It, too, had changed to match the one Danny held, though there was no longer a DP in the middle. Instead, it said 'Phantom' in fancy calligraphy.
"No way," the kid muttered, his expression awestruck, "Phantom? That's you? No shit?"
Danny chuckled, tucking the card away again, "No shit, kid. Don't tell anyone, though. You're the only one who knows."
"Really?" he squeaked.
"Really."
***
Having someone know his whole story was refreshing, just as he's sure Billy felt good to have someone know his, too. That didn't stop him from feeling bad about dumping it all on the poor kid.
"I still wish I could get drunk," Phantom lamented."
Constantine looked up from the book he was reading. "You can't get drunk?"
"Nope."
"How'd ya figure that one out, kid?"
"Please don't call me a kid."
That's not good. The blond marked the page before setting the book to the side. Phantom had never actually asked him to stop calling him a kid. "What's wrong?" He didn't normally do the whole 'feelings' things, but the was an exception.
Phantom sighed long and sad. He didn't look up from the carpet. "I told you they were going to ask invasive questions."
"Who was it?" It was more of a demand then a question.
"Red Robin,"
"Red- I thought you would've skipped town when we were done there? I sure as hell did."
"I know you did, but I decided to stick around for a bit. Wander, y'know? Red Robin caught up to me and would leave me alone."
Oh, oh no. Those were tears. Were they? Yeah, shit, they are! John is not equipped to handle this!
Phantom sniffled. "He asked me how I died."
Fuck.
John Constantine is not easy to anger. Sure, he gets tired, and irritated, and a whole slew of emotions, but he is very slow to anger.
Phantom, he knows, is not a child. The ghost can very much take care of himself in basically every way one could think of. He saved the world on his own, several times, when he was fourteen. He became a King and Protector when he was fourteen. He died when he was fourteen.
Right now, all he could see was the child who hadn't ever been properly laid to rest. It was hard not to call Phantom a child when he seemed so small, seeking comfort from anyone. Phantom was crying. He'd retreated to the House and locked himself in Constantine's room, only talking when he was ready to, but he'd waited to cry.
Phantom didn't like crying. Every person in the JLD knew this.
No. John Constantine is not quick to anger, but he is scary when he reaches that point. Batman might be the night and vengeance and all that shit, but John Constantine was wrathful.
He sat beside Phantom and let the ghost lean into him and cry. He didn't like dealing with feelings, but this was a child in need of comfort and he was the only one around to offer it. "Do you really want me to stop calling you 'kid'?"
A sniffle and a small head shake. "No."
"Can I ask you a question?"
"...sure."
"How old are you really? As a ghost, not as a human or a halfa. How old are you?"
"Fourteen." he mumbled, "I'll never be any older than fourteen, John," he was getting a bit hysterical now, "I'll never be any older than fourteen! I-I died and-and now I have to rule and-and people keep asking and no one believes me and-!" A sob cut him off, heavy with grief and wet with tears. He cried for hours, giving up on trying to form words. Constantine let him, ignoring the wet patches on his shirt. Eventually, Phantom's sobs died down into hiccups. "I didn't...I'm- I'm sorry."
"It's alright, mate," he meant it, really and truly.
Phantom rubbed his eyes, "I'm gonna go hide somewhere."
"Not gonna share where?"
"No, I want to be alone for a while." He paused at the door, "Whatever you're gonna do, will you leave Captain Marvel out of it?"
Odd request, but, "Alright," he nodded, "I'll talk to the others." And by 'talk', he means lecture. There are boundaries that one shouldn't cross, and not asking the dead how they died should've been obvious! With his League issued communicator, John called an emergency meeting in one hour, required attendance, barring Captain Marvel. First things first, though, he needed to talk to Deadman.
Summary: After losing your sight in a chemical accident, every shot at trying to get back what you lost has been a dead end. But you and Daryl just don’t know when to quit. What begins as an attempt to fix what was broken becomes something terrifyingly bigger, it makes you question whether hope is worth the cost of chasing it. The last real chance at saving your vision lands you at the coast, smack bang in the middle of a decades old fued between fishermen, and Daryl is forced to fight not only for your survival, but for the future you’ve barely dared imagine.
Warnings: Alot of violence and gore, blowing up shit, reader has aqua phobia, deaths/murders, angst angst angst, super creepy entitled men, allusions to misogyny, Some Aliens 3 plot (ifkyk), suggestive content, alot of sci-fi and medical scenes it's really fucking nerdy, eye surgery, omitting one warning hehe, fluffff, protective Daryl
Author's note: I FINSIHED IT 6 months later this was supposed to be my 1k followers/celebration event thing but its a little late. This was so hard to upload because iTS SO FUCKING LONG. Every time I write a long fic i think there is no way i could topt and i do.This took so much time and effort you would think i woyld be getting paid but finishing this was really important to me and i wanted to finsih it to the people who liked the series from the start so I really hope you like it!!! Its kinda fucking mental. I had to clump alot of paragraphs together so itwould fit so thats why it kinda reads awkward. Loads of refernces to part 4 so i recommend rereading that one! Holy shit im so nervous to hit post im gonna do it eeek. Lemme know what you think 🙈 love y'all
Alexandria had decided, with the absolute confidence of a town that had survived this long by sheer spite and determination, that it was going to have a movie night.
Someone had strung lanterns from maple to maple in the square, not evenly, not neatly, but with enough ambition that once the sun dropped they glowed like the place had dressed up for itself. A sheet-screen had been lashed between two posts with scavenged rope and the kind of optimism that usually preceded disaster, and when the wind caught it, it made the whole thing belly out like a sail, half the square applauding as if they were sending off the theoretical ship of Alexandria on its maiden voyage.
Waves of people gathered and bottles chimed in little flurries. The generator hummed like a ship’s engine from the far side of the square, powering what Eugene had been calling, with distressing sincerity, a 'communal cinematic exhibition experience'. Kids tore through the rows of mismatched chairs and salvaged benches with paper cones of popcorn, shrieking every time somebody told them not to spill it, which only made them spill it faster. Somewhere behind you, Jerry was trying to explain the concept of a double feature to three very confused children who thought he meant two movies happening at once on the same screen.
Six months had taken the hard black edge off your days. Not all the way, certainly not miraculously. Just enough that the world had stopped being nothing and started being something strange and livable instead. Bright things got through now; lanterns were halos with actual centres; firelight sat low and gold instead of vanishing into heat alone; doorframes held themselves as rectangular flags you could aim for without help. People were still more suggestion than detail unless they moved, but motion had shape to it now, and colour came in washes, soft and bleeding at the edges like the whole world had been painted on wet paper and left out in the weather.
The cryocentre was a cold distant memory now that you tried not to think back on it. Those people, the ones who had no obligation to help you but did regardless, ended up dying in vain just for their efforts. You knew you couldn’t dwell - because you were still here – but guilt is funny like that.
You threaded the square the way you do now — by heat, by footsteps, by the way voices stack and fall in a space — letting the thin new sight ride next to the old skills that never left you. Judith cannoned into your hip with a war cry and a fist of liquorice. "You're sitting with me," she declared, already pulling you forward like a tugboat towing a barge toward the big tarp. "I've never seen a movie. If it's boring, can we leave?"
"If it's boring." you said, letting her swing you through the sea of people, "we'll lie about it and make everyone else jealous at how fake-awesome it was."
“You can’t do that.”
“I can do whatever I want. I’m older than you.”
“That’s not how that works.”
"Behave," Michonne said from the edge, arms folded, eyes soft in a way that meant she trusted you to misbehave responsibly. "Eugene is busting his ass to make this movie night happen, so we are gonna enjoy it. Though, him and the generator have reached a new base by now - I'm pretty sure he needs to marry that thing."
"Tell him to buy it dinner first," you called, hunching down to whisper in Judith’s ear so michonne wouldn’t hear; “hold onto your popcorn or Daryl Vader will steal it from you.”
Judith snickered, and Rosita slid past with a crate of jars, brushing your sleeve. "Left side's quieter," she said, like it was nothing, just one ordinary useful note among a hundred others. You tipped your head and let Judith tow you that way.
It felt like a lifetime ago when darkness promised danger, no matter where you were; but now in Alexandria it was the easy kind of darkness. Gentle, familiar, full of people who you considered family and knew well enough to identify by the shape of their noise: the low clink of jars from the snack table as you let Judith drag you onward, weaving through the square by instinct, blur, light, and memory. Carol laughing once, sharp and brief. The dry rustle of Dog shaking himself somewhere near the front row.
You never have to hunt for Daryl; even before your sight had started leaking back in strange little pieces, your body knew. Now you get to find him twice: first by that old pull in your chest, the certainty of him in a crowd, and then by the darker blur of his shape against the lantern-glow, one long shoulder cutting sharper than everything behind it. Dog was sprawled under the bench at his feet, sighing like an old man, and he instantly sat up at the sight of you, tail thumping like a metal detector the closer you got.
“There y’are,” Daryl muttered as you walked towards him, already shifting over. He dragged a hand once across the bench beside him to mark the space, and the second you sat down, his arm came up around your shoulders automatically, like he’d been waiting to complete the circuit. You leaned into him with a happy little exhale before you could help it. You took him in; leather, smoke, clean bite of soap you’d bullied him into using filled, the cool damp of his cup against your fingers when your hand bumped it on the bench. “Hey,” you beamed, and he hummed back a low ‘hey’ like a simple reflex, the words close enough to graze your temple.
Judith flopped down on your other side with all the grace of a sandbag and immediately started eating popcorn loud enough to be a public nuisance. You tilted your head back toward Daryl. “If we’d met before all this, would you have taken me to the movies?”
He snorted. “Nah.”
You gasped. “Wow. I sure know how to pick 'em”
“Woulda snuck ye in through the back,” he went on, voice going lazy with it. “Stolen some popcorn buckets like a pro... Woulda been as nervous as a cat in a room full o’ rocking chairs.”
Whatever the hell that means. You and Judith wore the same puzzled expression.“Yikes,” you said. “So, no manners, no date planning, and criminal activity. You really knew how to woo a girl.”
“Worked, didn’t it?” You smiled despite yourself and nudged his knee with yours. “Debatable.” His arm settled heavier around you. "You good to sit through it?"
"Yeah, I like listening," you said. "Voices tell on people more than faces do. But I'll need your world-class narration."
He went solemn on purpose. "Guy walks. Guy drives. Guy... kills some other guy-"
"So you're narrating yourself?" you quipped. He huffed, warm against your hair, and you smiled without trying. Judith, without looking away from the blank sheet screen, said, “You’re gonna be terrible at narrating Uncle Daryl.”
“I know,” you said. “That’s why it’s fun."
The projector gave a sudden cough of life. The sheet snapped to white, too clean, too bright, a blade under your lids. It knifed straight through the sunglasses-less mistake you’d made in a moment of arrogance, and your eyes watered at once. Before you could even swear, Daryl was already moving, shoulder turning into the light, hand lifting to block the worst of it, his other hand patting for the sunglasses left on the table like a genius. "C'mon, we’ll-"
"A corrective countermeasure," Eugene announced importantly from nowhere, appearing at your elbow as if beckoned. He pressed your sunglasses into your hand with a flourish, so pleased with himself that it was practically audible. You slid them on, and the pain eased down from knife to ache. "My hero," you said, and he gave a bashful little cough; “I endeavour to be of service.”
“Please go away before that gets any weirder,” Rosita called from nearby, and Eugene withdrew with dignity that did not survive contact with the extension cord he nearly tripped over.
Daryl's thumb skimmed your cheekbone, checking. "Better?"
"Much," you sniffed, and tipped your head toward the fence. “But now my mascara’s probably halfway down my face, and looking like a Japanese ghost from an eighties horror movie.”
He glanced over. “Look fine.”
“Liar. I know what running mascara feels like.”
“Still look fine.”
“Blind loyalty,” you said. He huffed a laugh. “Somethin’ like that.”
You got up before he could offer to come with you, threading your way toward the house by the fence where the porch light was on. Behind you, the square settled into that communal hush unique to things people had built out of scraps and enthusiasm—chairs creaking, children being shushed, the projector whining itself into purpose. At the sink, the mirror was mostly useless except as a pale rectangle, but you didn’t need it much. Damp fingers, careful swipe beneath each eye, quick check for disaster by feel. Good enough. It was then you felt you weren’t alone.
"Eugene," you said, not turning. "Shouldn't you be busy falling in love with Princess Leia or something?" You heard him jump suddenly, and you chuckled to yourself. “You are either exceptionally perceptive,” Eugene said from behind you, “or I have once again failed at stealth.”
You sighed, shaking your head. “You move like a filing cabinet.” He took that in with a small, wounded pause. “That is… a fair observation.” You dried your fingertips on a rag and leaned back against the sink. “What’s up Eugenius?”
There was an awkward beat before he said, lower now, “I was hoping to revisit the Baltimore proposition.”
You had known the second he’d followed you that it was going to be this. That or mansplaining some niche interest of his, which surprisingly, you would’ve preferred. But of course it was the former. “I have refined the route,” he continued. “Recalculated supply intervals. Improved the odds appreciably.”
"Eugene," you said before he could go any further, your tone laced with warning. "We've talked about this. I appreciate everything you’ve done - we do. But Daryl and I — we're just trying to live our lives. I've made peace with what it is. You should too."
He pushed once more, eager despite himself. “...A decommissioned military unit, suffice to say, is more promising than any other quest you have embarked on. I realise I said that last time, but… I urge you to reconsider.”
You let your head tip back for a second, staring at the blur of the ceiling light through your dark lenses. You’ve heard this all before, just dressed differently. Outside, the square erupted into cheers over something on the screen which made Eugene’s shoulder’s flinch slightly. Probably a spaceship or an explosion. Possibly both. “Me and Daryl are okay,” you said at last. “That's what matters.”
“Indeed,” Eugene said, to his credit, very gently. “And I am not attempting to undermine that. I merely… remain unconvinced that okay is the limit.” You folded your arms, and he took that as a sign to continue, quieter still. “There may be records. Equipment. Personnel notes. Cryogenic specialists tied to ocular trauma work. There may be nothing at all. But there may be somethin'.” You could hear the guilt in him even before he said, “The bunker remains, in part, my fault. I did not adequately identify the risk in time. It was my omission which partially amounted to your ocular damage, and I have had difficulty making peace with that.”
That landed softer than it would have months ago. The anger had burnt through a long while back. What remained was older, duller, and sadder. You exhaled through your nose. “Does anyone else know?”
"No one," he said quickly. "I have not disseminated the datum."
"Keep it that way.” He blinked, shoes creaking when he shifted his weight. "You… are not going to hit me?"
"Tempting," you said, and heard him wince. "But no. That won't help." He nodded hard enough to rustle. "You are angry… correct? You have repeatedly told me to quote on quote ‘give it a rest’, and I have ignored your requests nonetheless."
“I’m tired,” you corrected him. “Different thing.” That shut him up for a second. Then, careful as if approaching something skittish, he asked, “Would you at least consider it?”
You should’ve said no. You nearly did. Instead, you rubbed at the heel of your hand with your thumb and said, “I’ll think about it.” He let out a breath like he’d been punched and forgiven in the same motion. “That is indeed more than I had hoped for.” You pointed toward the door. "Go watch the movie."
"I will do that," he said, and hurried out. You stood there for another moment, listening to the sounds of the square. Laughter; the low murmur of voices; somebody shushing Jerry; the screen snapping once in the breeze. When you stepped back into the night, Daryl called your name straight away, not loud - pitched just for you. "Over here," he said again, a little louder, lifting his arm as you got closer so you could tuck straight back into his side, easy as breathing.
Once settled, Judith leaned halfway across you both to whisper, with enormous urgency, “Okay, I have a question.”
“What?” you whispered back. She pointed at the screen. “Why is he kissing his sister?” Daryl’s head tilted, and you giggled with your niece. "Good question, Jude." And just like that, with Eugene’s Baltimore pitch still sitting somewhere unwelcome in the back of your mind, the whole ridiculous square kept glowing on around you—lanterns swinging, popcorn crunching, the screen fluttering in the breeze like Alexandria had stolen itself one good night and refused to give it up.
"Everything okay?" he asked, eyes on the sheet, thumb drawing lazy circles at your shoulder like he was reminding your pulse how to behave. "Mhmm." You set your cheek to his shirt. "How do the sunglasses look on me? I look hot, right?"
"Look badass," he said. "Like folks'll be askin' for an autograph."
"Shut up," you said, affectionate, knee nudging his. He made a small sound-half agreement, half laugh, and when the movie bursted into explosions and excitement, he dipped his head just enough that you could hear him smile. The square breathed in together and you let the voices do the heavy lifting, happiness settling where it belonged. Your town noisy and alive, the screen breathing like a sail journeying offshore….
——————-
Your bedroom had gone still in all the usual ways and none of the useful ones.
The candle on the dresser had long since been pinched out, leaving the room to the softer dark you knew all too well. The window was cracked open to let the late-summer air in, curtains breathing now and then, the mattress warm in two distinct places, with Dog snoring faintly from his patch of floor like he worked a 9-to-5. Somewhere outside, a gate clicked and then settled. Farther off, somebody laughed once on the street and got shushed into silence. It was nights like these that reminded you that Alexandria, even asleep, was never really silent; it just changed pitch.
Beside you, Daryl had gone quiet ages ago. Not deep asleep, just in that heavy, half-drifting state he could drop into faster than any human being had a right to. One arm slung across his middle, one leg tangled up in the sheet, hair falling onto his face because he never listened when you told him it was getting too long for convenience.
You rolled onto your back. Then onto your side. Back again. It was like you were a godamn rotisserie chicken the way you were turning.
The pillow had somehow become wrong. Too hot on one side, too flat on the other, bunching beneath your neck like it had developed a personal grudge. You punched it once, twice, flipped it, sighed dramatically, then immediately froze because if you woke up Daryl, he was absolutely gonna see right through you and call you out.
The bed gave a small creak, and a beat passed. Hypothetically, you thought, because it wasn't like you were actually considering this. It would be two weeks, give or take, on the road if everything behaved - which, let's be honest, it never fucking did - eating what you could trap or beg or burn, sleeping in ditches when the weather slammed a door on you, counting miles by the ache in your knees.
You tossed again onto your side, rubbing your eyes,eyebrows undoubtedly sewing together as you stared at nothing. And, hypothetically, if you did end up going on this run, it wouldn't be for a crate of parts this time; it wouldn't be for a tank of diesel or some drum Eugene swore was liquid gold that would notably benefit the community as a whole. No — it would be for some random dude you didn't even know existed, let alone was still breathing. For a maybe-surgeon who might be nothing but a file folder turning to pulp in a flooded basement.
You huffed and turned around again, now staring at what was hopefully the back of Daryl's head and not straight at him - that may give away your fake-sleeping act. How stupid would it be to spend whatever you have left in this fucked up world chasing that kind of ghost? And worse: what if you found him and he said no? What if he said yes and your body said no again? What if you came back changed in the wrong direction? What if you didn't come back at all? You made it back from those other runs by the skin of your teeth; why test your luck?
You pictured Daryl's mouth when you said it out loud — the way it goes hard at the corners when he's torn between don't even think about it and I'll ride wherever you point me. Would he be pissed that you were thinking about it? Or that you almost weren't? Or that you were letting the idea keep you up at night without telling him the second Eugene blabbed. You were happy. Why fuck this up?
Then, rough with sleep but not confused in the slightest, Daryl said into the dark, "You know you're talkin' out loud, right?"
Shit. You went still for half a second, as if the blanket might help you disappear if you respected it enough. "No I wasn't," you said quickly, already committing to the lie with more confidence than it deserved. "Are you hearing voices again, honey? Nurse, he's out again." A quiet sound left him then, not quite a laugh, just the scrape of amusement dragged over gravel. The mattress shifted under his weight as he rolled a little more toward you, his voice thick and warm from almost-sleep. "Mm, right. Why d'you keep elbowin' me in the ribs?"
"I have not elbowed you."
"Ye have. Like six times."
"That is slander, sir," you informed him, drawing the sheet up with offended dignity even as one bare foot searched uselessly for a cool patch in the bed. "I'm sure you just ate somethin' funny, and your stomach's lashing out."
"You don't know what slander is."
"Oh, and you do, hotshot?" You turned your head toward the shape of him, indignant on principle. "Well, I know what vibes are, and yours are hostile." That got the smallest huff out of him. Not a proper laugh, not yet, but enough to tell you he knew exactly what you were doing and was allowing it for now. Which, annoyingly, only made you want to keep going. You rolled over again with a dramatic rustle of the sheet, hauled the blanket up to your shoulder, then immediately kicked it off your shin because somehow the fabric had become unbearable in the span of two seconds. Beside you, Daryl let the silence sit just long enough to make you aware of yourself. "Ain't hot," he said at last.
"I know. It's your farting. It's making some kind of greenhouse gas effect."
"I didn't-" He cut himself off with a disbelieving grunt. "Windows' open."
"I know that too."
"Then why you wrigglin' around like a worm on a hook?" You snatched the pillow and hauled it over your face. "That's— ugh. I dunno what you’re talking about.” The bed shifted again, but this time it wasn't just movement for comfort. He was closer now, turned toward you properly instead of lying half-away, and you could feel the difference immediately. The room seemed to gather around him when he paid attention like that. "What's wrong?” There it was. Not sharp. Not suspicious. No edge to it at all. Just simple, because after all this time, he knew the difference between you being genuinely wound up and you putting on a full performance because sleep had evaded you and you wanted company in your suffering, whether you liked to admit it or not. You kept the pillow over your face for one second longer, clinging to the last scraps of your dignity, then peeled it down to your chest. "Nothin'"
"Bullshit."
"I't's nothing!"
He didn't speak right away. That was the problem with him. He didn't always come after you with questions; sometimes he just went quiet in that deliberate way of his and let the silence do the work for him. It stretched there between you, warm and familiar, while outside the cracked window, the night breathed softly through the trees. Dog snored once from his place on the floor, oblivious. The house creaked around you both, settling deeper into itself, and Daryl waited. And because he waited, because he knew you would eventually fill the space rather than let it sit, you stared up into the dark and felt your resolve start fraying at the edges. You hated when he did that. Not because it was unfair, but because it worked. Daryl had this infuriating ability to say almost nothing and somehow make every extra word out of your mouth feel self-inflicted. You stared into the dark where he was - not his face exactly, not cleanly, but the shape of him there, broad and familiar, one shoulder a deeper shadow against the dim wash from the window
Finally, because sleep was clearly not coming and pretending otherwise was starting to feel futile, you shoved yourself upright in bed with a long-suffering sigh, crossed your legs beneath the sheet, and leaned in toward the dark shape of him like you were about to share state secrets. "You think Han Solo still would've gone for Princess Leia," you murmured, very casual, like you were asking whether he'd seen your socks, "if he'd known he was gonna end up frozen in a big gold slab?"
There was a pause. A long one. So long you were beginning to think he hadn't heard you. Then Daryl, utterly flat, said, "What?"
You turned toward him more fully, one hand planted in the mattress between you. "Han Solo. Carbonite. The slab. Cmon Dixon, work with me here."
"I know who Han Solo is."
"Do you?"
"Watched the whole damn thing." You made a face into the dark, even though you knew he probably couldn't see it any better than you could see his. "I don't believe you. I believe that you believe you watched the whole thing, but I don't think you really watched it." A low sound rumbled out of him then, halfway between a grunt and a laugh, the kind he made when he was trying not to encourage you and failing on principle. "That don't make sense."
"It is if you respect art."
"I don't." You pressed a hand dramatically to your chest. "That's actually so embarrassing for you."
The mattress gave a soft shift as he scrubbed a hand over his face. You could hear it in the rasp of skin against stubble, the tired exhale that followed "Start over," he said. "No space words."
"There are going to be some space words."
"Course there are."
You huffed and sat back against the headboard, tucking one knee under the blanket. "Okay," you said. "Forget the slab. Hypothetically. You're Han Solo."
"I ain't Han."
"Shut up. You're Han." You pointed toward him in the dark, then back at yourself. "I am, regrettably, Princess Leia."
"I still ain’t Han."
"Yes, you are," you said, with the exhausted patience of a woman burdened by being correct. "You are a grumpy, morally flexible man with great hair and unresolved feelings. Can I continue?"
"Fine," Daryl muttered, grinning under it now, whether he liked it or not, and let you go on. “I'm being generous, by the way. Don't interrupt." You poked a finger toward the shape of his chest, found him by accident, and left your hand there because it was easier than waving at the air. "I'm Leia. The kid is-"
"Uh-huh."
"Don't make that noise. It's correct."
"Who's the kid?" he asked. "The whiny one?"
"Luke," you said, scandalised. "Luke is the kid, and he is not whiny. Also, what did I say about interrupting?"
"He whines the whole damn movie."
"He has lived his entire life on a sand planet dressed like he teaches a kids' karate class. Let him complain." Daryl settled a little deeper into the pillow, fully awake now. You could hear the grin still trying to flatten itself out in his voice. "So the kid's Baltimore?"
"The kid is- Luke is..." You frowned, using your hand on his chest now like it was a map you could sort your thoughts on, drawing invisible routes over his skin. "I don't know. Maybe Baltimore. Except no, that's the problem. Baltimore is kind of Luke and also kind of Bespin and maybe also the carbonite chamber"
Daryl caught your wrist lightly before you could sketch the entire galaxy on his sternum. "Hold up," he said. "What the hell you talkin' bout Baltimore for?"
"Wait, no, listen." You twisted against his grip, already frowning at your own logic. "That's what I'm trying to explain. Baltimore is the mission, but it's also the trap, but it's also the thing inside the trap, and if you knew going in the rescue was gonna land you in some deep shit, would you still go?"
Daryl was speechless for a beat, then another, still holding your wrist where your hand had gone restless against him. Then, finally, he said, with painful sincerity, "You got all this from not sleepin?"
"Focus."
"I am focused," he said. "I'm focused on how none of that made a lick of sense." Was he wearing a helmet or something? because he was being unusually dense - you were being painfully transparent after all.
"It makes perfect sense if you're not dumb," you huffed, and he made a noise at that, doubtful and amused in equal measure. You pushed on before he could say anything else, words starting to pick up speed now that they were finally out. "If you knew you'd burn time and fuel and luck and maybe get a mouthful of absolutely nothing for your trouble, would you still get on the ship anyway? Because part of me keeps thinking this is just déjà vu in a new outfit and it would be stupid to go chasing some half-dead military miracle, and the other part of me is like, sure, let's go all half-cocked to mid nowhere on the off chance some stranger fixes my eyes, that sounds rea-" Daryl caught both your hands that time before you could spin yourself all the way up, folding them between his palms and pinning them gently to his chest. "Baby," he said, voice low and rough and much too fond for how annoying you were being, "ya still ain't makin' sense. Slow the hell down. Try again" You stared at him, ready to say don't tell me what to do and stick your tongue out. Then, with great dignity, you groaned and flopped back onto your pillow hard enough to make the mattress complain."You are impossible to do a metaphor with."
"Try talkin' about real stuff, then." You picked at the sheet between your fingers, suddenly finding that much easier than answering. After a few seconds, he added, "Eugene talked to you again, huh?"
So he isn't wearing a helmet. "I thought he'd given up," you admitted at last, and felt the tiny shift in Daryl beside you - not quite a flinch, but close, the kind men do when a headache finally says its own name out loud. "He cornered me during the movie. Baltimore again. Defunct military unit - the same pitch as before. Files, equipment, maybe a specialist who's..." You exhaled. "I don't know. Alive. Willing. Capable."
Daryl didn't say anything straight away. The sheet rasped softly as he rolled onto his side to face you properly, and after a second his hand found your calf under the blanket and squeezed once, absent and grounding, thumb rubbing there like he was smoothing the thought out without asking permission. "It's been nagging me," you said. "And I hate that it's been nagging me, because that feels—" Your hand moved uselessly in the dark, taking in all of it: the bed, the room, the house around you, the town outside where everyone you loved was sleeping safe. "-disloyal, somehow. Like I'm not grateful enough for this. For what I do have." His hand slid down and found yours, closing around it and you swallowed. "We're good," you said, softer now. "We're happy." Daryl gave your hand a small squeeze, and you whispered, so quietly it felt less like speech than a thought you'd set gently between you, "What if this is the part where we figure out how to be happy and not just... survive?"
That one landed somewhere deep. “...Thought you said this was nothin"," he murmured, squeezing your fingers again. "Cause that ain't nothin" You let out a weak little breath that wanted to be a laugh and missed.
There was a long pause, then his thumb dragged once over your skin through the sheet, slow and thoughtful. You pulled the blanket up higher over your shoulder like that would somehow make you less readable. " Just-" You stopped, started again. "I don't know if I want to be one of those people who keep chasing a thing that isn't meant to be, you know?" Words werecoming easier now that you'd finally tipped them loose. "We got home. We're okay. Better than okay, most days. We have a house. We have full bellies. We have neighbours who are way too comfortable walking in without knocking. We have movie nights, and Judith asking deeply upsetting questions about incest in Star Wars. This is... good. This is really good." Your hand moved vaguely in the dark between you, eventually resting on his heart. "And I think maybe I'm scared of being stupid enough to leave something good for something that sounds... too good to be true... Because we've dealt with a very long list of things that were too good to be true”
A very, very long list of things that were way too fucking good to be true. Daryl was quiet long enough that you turned your head, squinting into the dark as if you could drag more out of him by effort alone. All you got was the same soft blur you'd had a second ago - the slope of his shoulder against the pillow, the darker shape of his hair, the broad warmth of him taking up his side of the bed like something built into the room. When he spoke, it was low and close. "Ain't stupid."
You let out a breath through your nose. "That's not convincing."
"It ain't meant to be convincing."
The plainness of it made you press your lips together. Your fingers, still caught in the blanket, tightened there instead, bunching the sheet in your fist. The cotton was warm from both of you, smelling faintly of soap and skin and that lived-in, sun-dried smell your bedroom always carried by the end of the day. Behind you, the headboard gave a faint creak when you shifted, and Daryl went on, voice sleep-rough and steady, each word laid down like he wasn't in any hurry for you to run from them. "You ain't talkin' about goin' 'cause you think what we got here ain't enough. You know it is."
That hit, because it was exactly the thing you'd been bracing for him to get wrong. You turned more fully then, half tangling yourself in the sheet. "I do," you said quickly, almost tripping over it in your hurry to make him understand. "l know that.” You pulled the blanket higher without thinking, tucking it against your chest, and edged closer until your shin knocked his, until the space between you felt less like distance and more like something bridged. "I'm not-" You stopped, swallowed, started again. "I'm not looking past this. I'm not sitting here wishing for some other life." Your fingers slid down and caught his hand properly now, lacing there, holding hard. "I know what we have."
"I know ya do," he said. So easily it almost hurt. Not because it was dismissive; he believed you without needing the performance, without making you prove it harder than this. You lay there with that for a second, your grip loosening just enough to turn into something softer, your thumb moving over his knuckles in a slow, absent stroke.
Daryl shifted closer, not by much, just enough that his knee found yours under the sheet and stayed there, warm and solid, a quiet answer of its own. "But," he said.
You frowned. "But?"
"... if you don't go, you ain't gonna forget about it either."
You opened your mouth but immediately closed it. Because there it was - the ugly little truth of it, simple as a bruise. You felt it in the way your fingers stilled over his hand, in the way your shoulders tightened before you could stop them, in the way your body knew before your pride did that he'd hit bullseye.
Still, he didn't pounce. Didn't tighten his grip or lean in or push while you were open. He just stayed where he was, knee to knee with you in the dark, hand warm in yours, talking in that infuriatingly plainful way of his that always made things sound simpler than they felt and somehow cut closer because of it.
"You'll do what ya always do. Decide you're fine. Mean it, mostly. Build your life around it. Get real good at pretendin' ya forgot about ithe whole thing." His hand slid from your calf to your ankle, thumb rubbing there once. "Then every time somethin' goes wrong, every time you get one o' those bad days, it's all gonna come back."
You stared at him. "...You rehearse that?"
He snorted. "No."
"Because that was kinda good."
"Shuddup."
"No, seriously. Where did you get that from."
"Go to hell." You smiled despite yourself, then let it fade a little as you looked down at the blanket between you. "I hate that you know me." He made a soft, unimpressed sound. "Been a while now."
You let out a breath that wanted to become a laugh and almost became something sadder instead. "I'm not saying no because I don't want it," you said after a while. "I'd be saying no because... I'm tired." His answer came right away. "I know."
And that nearly undid you more than anything else. Because there it was - the whole of it, really. Not fear, not cowardice, not lack of hope. Just exhaustion. The kind that sits in your bones and makes even wanting feel expensive. The mattress dipped as he pushed himself up onto an elbow. A hand found your hip over the sheet, warm and heavy. "You ain't gotta decide tonight," he said. "Ain't gotta decide for Eugene, neither. But... eventually." You turned your face toward the blur of him. "And what if I decide no?" you asked. "Then we don't go," he shrugged. "I'll tell Eugene to back off."
"Just like that?"
"Just like that."
"And if I decide yes?"
The corner of his mouth moved. You heard it before you saw it. "I'll have the bike pointed at dawn." He frowned, recalculated. "Truck, if ya want. Or we walk the whole damn way - whatever. We go find your weird eye doctor no matter what."
You let out a short laugh. "That easy?”
"Fuck no," he said. "But that simple." There was a difference. He was right about that too, unfortunately. You lay there another quiet moment, listening to Dog snore, to Daryl breathe, to the house holding itself around you both like it knew better than to interrupt.
Then you said, very small, "I think I'd always wonder." Daryl didn't answer with triumph. Didn't do that aggravating told you so thing he had every right to. He just reached out and smoothed a hand once over your side, from rib to waist. "Yeah," he said. "Me too."
You turned onto your side and shoved at his shoulder. "Scooch.” He gave a sleepy grunt but shifted back enough to let you in, and you wriggled toward your usual station by touch and habit until your back found his chest, and his arm came around you like a seatbelt. You tucked yourself in with a dramatic sigh. "Well," you said into the pillow, "would you look at us." He made a grumbling noise which sounded like a question; "I just mean the tables have turned. You're being all level-headed and emotionally available. I'm spiralling in bed about military eye doctors." You snorted softly. "Holy shit. Are we growing as people?" His nose brushed the back of your head when he huffed. "Go to sleep, dumbass." You smiled into the pillow. He adjusted his arm then to cinch you closer to him so there was no space left, burying his face in your hair like it was a better source for oxygen, breathing you in like a vapour, holding on tight like you might fade away. Then, "I am so not Princess Leia," you said, breaking the peace. "Who am I kidding — Im C3PO. With tits.”
His leg nudged yours, as if to say, 'that's enough now'. "Big day tomorrow," he muttered into your hair. "Go ta sleep. 'Fore I knock ya out." And held you there while your thoughts finally slowed down and stopped running long enough to let sleep catch up.
⸻
Going day to day on the road was a simple fact of your life together; you simply had a breif six month intermission, and now you're back to it. Two weeks since you left, and days didn't pass so much as stack on top of another. Dawns that smelled of cold metal and pine, coffees boiled thin over stubborn flames, the world reduced to a ledger of small survivals and the long thread of engine-vibration braided under your spine until the days blurred into each other. The only way to tell you were closing in on anything new was the way the air changed on your tongue, the way the wind stopped tasting like dust and started tasting like salt.
You were on the bike the way you're on it now, knees bracketing Daryl's hips, your chest fitted to his back, the noise-cancelling headphones clamping the world down to something you can live inside, your arms wrapped low so you feel every gear change as a shift under your forearms rather than a punch at your eardrums.
The wind carried the sea first as rumor and then as proof, cool and damp and clean enough to cut; and then, layered under it, something riper, a blunt edge that said harbour, said nets, said catch laid out for gutting, and your body took the news badly, your mouth filling with that quick, traitorous flood of saliva that means you have seconds, not minutes.
You patted Daryl's ribs hard - your signal for stop - and raised your voice without taking the headphones off because there wasn't time, words tumbling out strangled and too loud to your own ears, stop stop stop, and he was already rolling out of the throttle. In Daryl fashion, he'd been cruising fast on the open stretch for an impromptu spew attack, and the bike still carried too much of its own intention. You made the wrong call because your stomach made it for you, swinging a leg off before the speed had died, the ground coming up wrong and sideways, the tumble a series of small, mean negotiations - hip, shoulder, palms - grit biting, breath blasted out of you in a grunt you didn't hear.
You crawled three staggering hands from where you landed because you were not going to do this on your boots, and then your body took over, folding you over your hands, the heave brutal and impersonal, the way these things always are when there's nothing left to bargain with. Behind you the engine swung around and rose once in a sharp snarl and then cut; Daryl hit the ground running, the scuff of his boots and the clatter of the kickstand arriving at the same time his hand did, warm between your shoulder blades, the old steady circle he draws even when you're past listening to anything except your own body's hard refusal.
"Easy," he said, close to your ear so you could catch it even through the muffle, "That's it, it's alright, just breathe when it lets ya," and he swept your hair back and kept it there with the heel of his hand, his other palm braced at your side so you felt him like a wall you could lean on between heaves. It came in waves - acid and air and that cruel, empty hitch that wrings you for ghosts - and when the worst of it finally let go, you angled an elbow, rolled to your hip, and collapsed onto your back in a graceless sprawl that very deliberately missed the mess, the world a bright, swimming white for a second before it settled.
He crouched over you, blocking the sun, worry written so plain on his face you read it without eyes. "Where'd that come from?" he asked, not accusing, just shaken by the speed of it. "Smell of fish," you got out between breaths, swallowing against the last slick taste in your mouth. "Set me off." He blinked, baffled. "Ya love fish," he said, not like a joke, like an inventory item that didn't fit the ledger anymore.
"Then... motion," you said, flapping a weak hand at the bike. "Car-sick. Bike-sick. Whatever." You could feel his squint even before you caught it, the since when rising, so you bulldozed past it with a breath that wanted to be steadier than it was. "Christ, are we almost there? We ain't getting any younger."
He huffed a laugh that wasn't quite a laugh, relief leaking out sideways now that you were horizontal and not actively heaving on him. "Yeah. If you'd waited three more minutes to puke up breakfast, I was bout to turn into the harbour." He slid a canteen under your hand, the cap already open, his fingers careful around yours so you could sip without your stomach kicking again. "Rinse. Slow."
You did, the water metallic and cold, and when the first careful sips start without protest, he stood, planted his feet, and offered you both hands in that old-fashioned way that makes you smile even when you don't have it in you, hauling you up with a clean, even pull that didn't jostle anything. He checked the scrape at your knee with a glance and a soft tsk that meant we'll clean it when we stop, righted the bike in one practised lean, and left it idling quietly, one glove tucked under the throttle to keep it from creeping. "You good?" he asked as you started walking, his shoulder brushing yours once on purpose. "You took a helluva tumble."
"I'm good," you said, and the words steadied as you kept moving. "Probably just nerves. Let's go."
He didn't press; instead, he fell into step beside you, the two of you skirting the shoulder. Suddenly, the harbour you'd been chasing for days at last showing itself as more than a rumor. You walked the bike the last stretch, engine off, so the only hum left was in your bones. Early afternoon had gone that flat pewter that makes the water read as metal; the sky hung low enough to touch the mastheads, gulls shearing along the wind line and scolding anything that didn't belong. Halyards ticked against aluminium in a loose, arrhythmic clatter; somewhere a bell buoy thunked, lazy and off-time. The air was a stack of smells-iodine and kelp, wet rope, old diesel, the sour-sweet of bait, a bleach bite from somewhere that took the fish right out of the fish smell. Waves shouldered the pilings with that slow slap that sounds like clapping.
Daryl's hand was light on the bar, guiding the bike through coils of line and stacks of pots, crab and lobster, wire cages pyramided to the eaves, buoys faded to chalk pastels and scabbed with tar. Rain was sitting out there in the grey, not falling yet, just letting everyone know it was coming.
"Bar up ahead," he said, chin tipping toward a low building at the foot of the pier, wood black with weather, a window throwing a slab of warm light onto wet boards. "Looks like it's got customers." As you got nearer, the sounds separated - chairs scuffing, a burst of laughter that had too many voices in it for a head count, the bright clink of glass on glass, the scrape of a knife on a cutting board. Sounds like it's happy hour. "If anyone's gonna know where our guy is," Daryl added, voice low, "he's in there, or somebody drinkin' with him is."
The Bell, as the sign read, sat at the foot of the harbour like it had grown there by stubbornness alone, all blackened timber and salt-stiff windows, a low spill of warm yellow light falling out across the slick boards. Up close, the place smelled of old fry oil, wet rope, beer gone sour in the cracks, and the sea pushing its cold breath through every seam in the wood. Beyond it, somewhere out in the thickening grey, a lighthouse turned slow and pale over the water, washing the moored boats in a brief ghost-blink before moving on.
You lifted one earcup off your head to let the noise in fully, the left side of the world blooming louder: a radio trying to fight the room, someone whistling out of tune, the steady animal sound a crowd makes when it stops thinking about itself. He put the bike on its stand and rolled his shoulders once, eyes skimming the edges the way he always did -door, back door, windows tight as fists, a narrow run of shadow behind a pyramid of pots big enough to hide two people. "We can sit off," he said, like laying out cards. "Wait for a smoke break, peel one, ask nice. Or take that corner behind the crab pots, count heads through the glass, pick who we want."
"Or," you said, and he looked at you then because he knew that tone, "we just go in."
He frowned, and he didn't need to say what-the-fuck because you already knew he was wearing his what-the-fuck face. Not to be confused with his sex face, however, because they are similar, but confusion of the two could be fatal.
"What?" you shrugged, your train of thought struggling to stay on track. "It seems like they're open, and this way we let 'em get the right count," you said. "We are just two tired people, not raiders skulking in their stacks. Places like this—" you let the word cover every small town bar left in the world, "-they close ranks hard if you start by sneaking. If he's in there, we spook him if we lurk. If he's not, we make allies fast or we don't get a boat. Let them underestimate us; that's our favourite anyway." You bumped his arm with your elbow, softening it. "Cmon, yknow I love a grand entrance."
He worked his jaw once, the way he does when he's moving a yes into place. The corner of his mouth twitched. "May as well. Mat says welcome," he said finally, like he was humouring you and also agreeing, and he stepped ahead by half a pace, not enough to herd, just enough that if the room behind that door turned ugly, he’d be the first thing it hit. You caught the shift in him in the way his silence went flatter and more alert as you walked the rest of the path towards 'The Bell', and you adjusted with him automatically, knife settled where your hand knew to find it if it had to.
Daryl swung the door wide. Heat rolled out first, the way you feel heat when you open an oven - fry oil and beer and sea-wet wool - then the light, then the sound, and then the sudden lack of it. Laughter broke off mid-curve; a glass clinked and didn't clink again; the radio kept trying for three more bars before someone's hand found the dial and turned it down without taking their eyes off the doorway - or you. You felt thirty heads do the same small animal thing - lift, fix, weigh - and for a heartbeat, the only sound left was the ocean working the pilings under the floor.
The whole place seemed to lean, the air dense with the attention of bodies gone still.
Both of you stopped dead. And because ten seconds of silence might as well have been ten years as far as you were concerned, you smiled into it and said, “Table for two?”
Nothing. Then, because apparently humiliation had never once stopped you in your life, you added, “Or is there, like, a dress code we're not meeting? I have some cleaner pants in my bag.” Yep - your husband was audibly cursing your mouth from beside you under his breath. But that seemed to break the tension, thank god —- not with laughter exactly, but a crack running through the room. Murmurs. Breath let out. A few chairs creaking as men shifted and looked at each other instead of just at you. Someone muttered something too low and too quick for Daryl to catch, but your hearing picked it out of the room’s nervous rustle anyway.
Jesus Christ.
She’s real.
How long’s it been?
Don’t just stand there, Tommy, for fuck’s sake—
A different voice, older, roughened flat by tobacco and weather: Don’t.
But somebody did —- boots crossed the floorboards toward you, hesitant at first, then faster, as if he’d lost his nerve once already and was trying not to lose it again. When he stopped in front of you, his breath hitched like the moment had reached him a beat later than the rest of his body. “Well,” he said, too polite, his accent soft around the edges in a way that sounded old-coast, old-family, worn down by workin on a boat. “You’ll have to forgive ‘em. We don’t get much in the way of surprises anymore.” You turned toward the voice, catching only a pale blur of face and shoulders against the warmer dark behind him. “Really?” you said. “Could’ve fooled me. This feels incredibly normal.”
A few more murmurs, this time, there were actual smiles in them. The man gave a nervous little laugh, like he was startled to have produced one at all. “Tom,” he said. “Tom Phelan.” You heard the rustle of cloth before you understood what he was doing. His hand, held out to Daryl, and he just looked at it. You didn’t need eyes for that pause. You could feel it in the room all over again, the tiny collective wait, every man in the place watching to see what he’d do. It stretched long enough to get embarrassing, and then Daryl said, flat as old wood, “S’up— Dixon” and left it there. Tom’s offered hand hovered for one awkward second longer before dropping back to his side. To his credit, he covered it fast. “Right,” he said, clearing his throat. Then, because he was apparently determined to suffer through this interaction until he’d made it past the worst of it, he turned to you and tried again, voice gentler now, almost careful. “Ma’am.” He must have put his hand out to you, too, because the silence shifted shape, sharpened with expectation, and when you didn’t take anything, there was a tiny, ugly pause. Not because you meant to snub him. Just because you had no clue his hand was there.
Daryl moved before the pause could ripen. “We’re just lookin’ to sit down,” he said, easy enough on the surface that only someone who knew him would hear the warning laid under it. “Been on the road a while.”
Tom pulled back immediately, that same nervous politeness snapping into place like a button done too fast. “Right, yes, of course, sit, absolutely. We’ve got room.” Someone nearby dragged out a chair in a hurry, the wooden legs shrieking over the floorboards, and the sudden noise made you twitch before you could stop it. A hand touched the back of the chair lightly, guiding it in. “Here you are,” said another voice, older than Tom’s, coming from your left. “Mind the leg.”
“Thanks,” you said, smiling automatically in the direction of the help even though the whole room still felt wrong on your skin. Daryl waited until you’d found the chair and sat before he took the one beside you. You could feel him angling himself just enough to break the worst of the room’s line on you, could hear the way the men nearest had to keep shifting if they wanted to keep looking.
The barkeep called from behind the bar, “You eatin’ or just drinkin’?” Before Daryl could answer, Tom said, “Both. Get ’em something hot.” That earned him a sharp mutter from somewhere deeper in the room which Tom ignored. The barman was a different sort from him, broader and less shy, voice carrying the flat authority of someone used to feeding men before arguing with them. Glass clinked. A tap hissed. “What’ll it be, then?”
“Beer’s fine,” you said. Daryl let a beat pass, weighing the room, then said, “you said you got food?.”
“We got plenty.” The barkeep’s tone warmed on that, pride slipping in despite the strangeness of the moment. “Chowder’s on. Fried smelts. Bread fresh enough not to hurt nobody.”
“Show-off,” someone muttered.
“You want to cook, Declan, be my guest,” the barkeep called back. A low ripple moved through the room, not quite laughter, but the shape of it. Enough that the place remembered how to breathe again. Tom stayed near your table instead of drifting off like any sane host would have. You could feel him there, hovering just outside rude, eager and unsure all at once. One of the men nearest dragged his stool around to face a little more toward you. Another did the same. The floorboards ticked and shifted with the subtle movement of bodies pretending not to move closer.
“Where you come in from?” the barkeep asked as he poured. The beer hit the glass in a lively hiss, then settled. Daryl answered before you could. “Community inland.” Not a name, just enough to mean we belong somewhere; that people will notice if we don’t return. “That so.” The barkeep set two bottles down with a soft thud and, from the sound of it, slid one toward Daryl first. “Still got many there?”
“Whole town full,” Daryl said. In other words – more than you can handle. Tom looked between you both. “You’re a long way from inland.”
You picked up the thread before Daryl could shut it down by sheer bluntness. “We’ve been heading along the coast a while,” you said, letting your tone go airy and a little tired, like this was all much less deliberate than it really was. “Thought we’d see what was left of it before it all.... fell into the sea.”
Ok you pulled that out your ass but it seemed to go over how you intended; more silence, but a different kind this time. Interested. Measuring. Then a voice from the corner, old enough to creak, said, “Best bits already did.” A few men murmured their agreement. The barkeep set your drink down close enough that you found it by the cool kiss of glass against your fingers. “Plenty worth seeing still,” he said. “If you’re the sort who likes bad weather and disappointment.”
“Quite the travel brochure,” you murmured into your beer. Tom laughed again, more easily now. “If you’re heading north after this, give Blackwater Inlet a miss. Shoals’ll open your hull like a tin can if you don’t know the channel.”
“And keep away from Gannet Point,” the barkeep added, more serious. “No catch worth that water.” Someone behind him said, “Or Widow Light after fog.”
Ominous much. Was that code for something? Tom saw your confused expression and elaborated. "The lighthouse - named Widow's light. You didnt see it coming in?" No, Tom, I didnt see the lighthouse because I can't see for shit. And who the fuck would call a lighthouse ‘Widow’s light’?? "Ooh right, that lighthouse," you feigned. You turned your bottle once against the table with your fingertips, listening to the men nearest settle back into themselves by degrees. “Hey, i got a question,” you said, needing to fill the silence with literally anything. “How come there are barely any walkers out here?” A few faces blinked at you. Tom frowned politely. “Any what?”
“The dead,” you said. “Biters. Roamers. Geeks. Whatever you wanna call them. Numbers have been getting thinner the further we go out - haven’t seen one for a few days now. Not that I’m complaining or anything.” That got a snort from somewhere to your right and a low, surprised chuckle from deeper in the bar. “Rippers,” the barkeep said, like he was correcting the name of a bird. “We call ’em rippers.”
You tipped your head. “Huh. Don’t worry, not all of us have the creative talent. Worst one I heard was epidermis epicureans’.” Thanks Eugenius.
“Rippers r’more accurate,” said the older voice from the back — Bran, maybe, if you were matching names right. “Walkers sounds too gentle.” Tom shifted his weight against the table edge. “Truth is, we don’t get many. Not like inland. Never did, not even when it all first went wrong. Hook was isolated before the world got any stupider than it already was, and most of the dead seem to prefer a road to a shoreline.”
“Roamers move for noise and habit,” the barkeep added while he reached for another bowl behind the counter. “More of both inland. Streets, houses, old footpaths. Out here they get bogged in the flats or pulled under in the rip. Tide does for the rest.”
“We get the odd one washed up,” someone else said. “Storms’ll drag a few in. A boat breaks loose now and then with one still on it, though less now than there used to be. But mostly they don’t care for Widow's Hook.” A little glumly, he said it, with the sort of weary pride that came from surviving long enough to sound bored by catastrophe. Your eye twitched. Lucky sons of bitches.
The food arrived before you could ask if this place was seriously called Widow's Hook. A bowl was set in front of you, steam rolling up rich and fishy and laced with cream, with a hunk of bread dropped alongside it so thick it could’ve stopped a bullet if the crust was hard enough. Another landed in front of Daryl, followed by a plate of fried smelts and a little dish of something that smelled sharply of vinegar and dill. You looked down at the heat of it, then over at Daryl. Or rather in his direction, because the room had gone thick with attention again in that irritating, skin-prickling way that told you they were all pretending not to watch whether you’d eat.
Daryl had gone quiet beside you, which in his case usually meant he was doing enough watching for the both of you. Neither of you move; you leaned a little closer to your bowl and sniffed it, careful and suspicious, and somewhere nearby a chair creaked as someone shifted closer. “Everything alright with it?” Tom asked.
You kept sniffing. “What’s in it?” A brief pause, as if he had not expected to be challenged by chowder. “Uhh fish,” he said carefully. “Cream we got from tradin’. Potato’s that we grow here. Onions too. A bit of fennel. Pepper.”
“With a side of roofies?” you asked. The silence that followed was not offended, exactly. Just deeply, profoundly confused. “With a side of what?” asked the barkeep. Daryl made the tiniest sound beside you, something caught between a cough and a laugh he was trying very hard not to let out.
“You know,” you said, lifting your spoon and gesturing vaguely over the bowl. “Sedatives. Sleepy-time harbour special. Wake up minus a kidney. Very seasonal.”
Tom stared at you. Then at the barkeep. Then back at you. “Why,” he asked, with such genuine bafflement it almost circled back to funny, “would we poison your supper?”
You weighed that for a second, head tipped. “Honestly?” you said. “You’ve all been staring like we crawled out of the sea. So… felt worth checking.”
That got a rough burst of laughter from one of the back tables, too loud and too sudden to be entirely comfortable. A few others joined in after a beat, more because they didn’t know what else to do, but the barkeep looked almost insulted. “If I was poisoning you, I wouldn’t waste good fennel on it.”
“There, y’see,” Daryl murmured beside you, voice low enough that only you caught it. “Man’s got principles.” You turned your head toward him, deadpan. “That does make me feel better, actually.” Tom was still looking faintly affronted. “We don’t poison guests. Certainly not gentlewomen.” Was there a gentlewoman here, or was he talking about you? “No,” said Bran from somewhere in the back, dry as old rope. “You just ask strange questions and feed ’em to death.” The room loosened another notch after that. Not warm, but less brittle. The kind of easing that happened when people decided they understood enough of you to stop bracing for the worst.
You and Daryl shared one of those tiny pauses that only really existed between people who’d survived too much together — all the conversation that passed in none at all. Strange room. Strange men. Unknown food. But hot food. Real food. And unless these people had developed a very elaborate and very unnecessary system for murdering drifters with seafood, the odds were probably in your favour. You lifted the spoon. “Guess if we die,” you said, “at least we’ll die with a full stomach.” Daryl grunted, picked up his own, and that was apparently all the blessing either of you needed. The chowder was great, annoyingly so. You hated when suspicious people could cook.
For a minute or two the room settled around the simpler business of eating, and in the gap that made, Daryl asked, “So how’s this place still runnin’?” It was casual enough to pass. Mild. Nothing in it that shouted investigation. But you knew him well enough to hear the testing under it, the little feeler sent into the room to see what the room would send back. The barkeep wiped his hands on a towel and shrugged one thick shoulder. “Same as anything else that’s still standing. We mind what’s ours. Fix what breaks. Don’t invite more people than the place can hold.”
“We fish,” Tom added, more softly. “Trap crab when the season’s right. Smoke what we can’t trade with other fishing communities along the coast. Most things worth having still come by boat eventually, one way or another. Pretty much run the same as before.”
“Helps that nobody much wants what we’ve got,” Bran said.
“That ain’t true,” muttered somebody else. “Storm took half our east moorings two winters back, and we still had bastards nosing around for fuel.”
“Fuel’s always worth wanting,” said the barkeep. “But we’re a pain in the ass to reach and uglier to leave.” That drew another low flicker of laughter. Tom rested his knuckles lightly on the edge of the table. “Mostly, we were built for hard weather before the dead ever got here. Hard weather and thin years. Makes the end of the world feel less original than advertised.” You took a swallow of beer, cool and bitter and a little too fast on an emptier stomach than you’d realised, and let the sounds of the room rearrange themselves around you. Chairs scraping, bowls being lifted, the slow clink of glass, somebody somewhere still not quite done whispering.
When Tom asked if you wanted more bread, you shook your head. “I’m good.”
“Beer?” He offered, and you lifted the bottle a little in answer and took another sip. That was when a voice from farther back in the room — younger than Bran, older than Tom, pitched just loud enough to carry — asked, “You two married?”
The question landed oddly. Not aggressive, not even especially personal by post-apocalypse standards, and still something about it made the air around your shoulders tighten. Daryl answered first. “Uh, yeah.” At the same time, you nodded with a thin smile, holding up your left hand to show your wedding band. “Very much married.”
A murmur moved through the room after that, low and quick and impossible for most people to sort into anything useful. For Daryl, it was only noise. For you, it came in broken pieces:
Told you.
Ring on her left hand—
Hoped maybe sister, first look—
Christ, look at her—
Shut up.
How long d’you reckon—
That last one dissolved under the scrape of a chair, but by then it didn’t matter.
Because the penny, which had apparently spent the last several minutes rolling around the floorboards in search of a dramatic moment, finally dropped. It wasn’t just the silence. Or the questions. Or the way they kept addressing Daryl a fraction of a beat sooner than they addressed you. It was the incessant staring — not the usual kind. Not curiosity alone. Something more specific. Something that had sharpened and then tried to disguise itself. You didn’t need to be able to see to tell that you were the subject – it was so palpable it sent chills.
Then, because pretending nothing had changed was clearly no longer on the table, you turned your face toward Daryl and said under your breath, “I’m being really obviously blind, right?” There was not even the dignity of a pause. “Yup,” he said, and patted your thigh under the table. You let your head fall back a little. “Great.” Tom made a small sound, somewhere between apology and sudden realisation. “Ah,” he said. “Pardon us. It wasn’t obvious miss—” Liar. The room didn't go silent this time, but it did shift again, attention changing flavour all at once. Not less intense. Just reorganised. Surprise, the typical pity in one corner, fascination in another, something almost reverent from somewhere near the back that made your skin crawl. “We didn’t realise,” the barkeeper corrected, and though his voice was careful, there was something else under it now too — not just politeness, but shock dressed as manners. You nodded once, because what else were you supposed to do with that? “Happens,” you said, reaching for your beer again, more to end the moment than because you wanted it - they weren't exactly winning any awards for best beer.
The room tried very hard to recover, and in that effort alone, you could feel how much this changed things for whatever reason. If you didn't end up getting your miracle cure, you really needed to work on acting like you can see - it's kinda a mood killer now.
You let it sit for a beat, then took another easy sip of beer, turning the bottle once between your fingers, and said, as if the thought had only just drifted back to you on the smell of salt and old stories, “Y’know, now that I’m thinkin’ about it, I knew a guy once who was supposed to be set up somewhere round here.”
Daryl shifted beside you just enough that his thigh pressed more firmly to yours under the table and his chair gave the faintest scrape against the floorboards, a subtle edging-in that would’ve meant nothing to anybody who didn’t know him. You knew better; he was bringing himself closer without making a show of it, settling into that dangerous stillness he got when his body had decided the room was too interested in you and was preparing, quietly, for the possibility of proving why that was a bad idea.
Tom, still hovering near the table like a man who couldn’t quite decide whether he was hosting you or guarding you, said, “That so?”
“Mm.” You kept your tone loose, distracted, eyes down on the neck of the bottle. “God, what was his name— Kepner? No, that ain’t it. Ahh -Kessler! Definitely Kessler. Funny, right? Didn’t even occur to me till just now we might’ve wandered into his neighbourhood.” The effect was immediate. No silence this time — something more useful. The room broke. Not into chaos, not even into alarm, but into overlapping reactions so quick and unguarded they almost tripped over one another. “Kessler?”
“The hell are we talkin’ about that bastard for—”
“You mean old Kessler on the Rock?”
“Christ, ain’t heard that name in a while.”
“Man’s still mean, if that’s what you’re askin’.”
Tom swore softly under his breath, not angry so much as exasperated, like the room had failed some private test of discretion. The barkeep looked up from the rag he’d been running through his hands and gave you a longer, flatter look than before. Daryl didn’t move; you could feel him noticing everything. His hand stayed wrapped around his beer, but his grip had changed. Looser at a glance, ready underneath. He was turned just enough now that if anybody reached for you too quick, they’d hit him first, and from the feel of him, you guessed his eyes were moving from face to face, sorting who spoke too fast, who looked worried, who looked eager.
You kept yourself casual. “Oh, so he is still around,” you said, and hated how pleased you sounded despite yourself. You covered it with a little huff through your nose. “I wasn’t even sure he’d made it this long. He was some kind of eye doctor thing for the military, right?” That got you another scatter of voices. “Eye doctor thing,” somebody repeated, amused. “That’s one way to put it.”
“He’ll like that.”
“He won’t. He don’t like anything.” A dry voice from farther back, one that hadn’t said much so far, cut in over the rest. “He wasn’t military. Not proper. Federal contract, defence-adjacent, all that paperwork nonsense. But he worked with Navy cases, so he started wearin’ it like rank and never stopped.” The speaker came closer as he talked, his boots measured on the warped floorboards. You couldn’t make out much of him beyond a broad outline and the drag of a limp in one step out of four, but his voice was older, steadier than Tom’s, and had that tone some men got when they’d spent too long surviving on competence and contempt. “Kessler was the chief doctor on St. Hale,” he went on. “Or what was left of it by then.” You looked up just enough to sell mild interest instead of desperate hope. “St. Hale?” That won you a little pause, and in it you heard the room recalibrate around the fact that you won't know the local geography. Tom answered first. “Island fort out in the channel.”
“Wasn’t always a fort,” the older voice corrected. “Looked like one.”
“Everything old on a rock looks like one.” The barkeep snorted. “Go on, then, Eamon. Since you know every nail in it.” Eamon, if that was him, shifted his weight. “It started as a signal station,” he said. “Long before any of us. Then Coast Guard took pieces of it. Then Navy. Then some federal medical branch moved in during the bad years before everything fell apart. Chemical exposure, flash burns, pressure injuries, all that sort of thing from ships and engine rooms and munitions work. Eye trauma, mostly. Kept it small and quiet because that was the point. Out of the way, no civilians sniffing around, no press, no questions.” Another man further back muttered, “No morals, neither.”
“That too,” Eamon said without argument. "Liam there - his dad was sent there for treatment. Wasn't the same since."
You kept your fingers steady on the bottle by force. Holy shit. This was not just a rumour. This was not Eugene and a map and some old maybe. This was a place with walls and history and a man with a name who had apparently annoyed enough people to survive vividly in memory. And - he was potentially depraved from the sound of it. But depraved, you could work with - imaginary or dead was another story. Beside you, Daryl shifted his boot under the table until the side of it tapped your own once. Not enough to be obvious. Enough to say, keep your damn face still. And stay seated – don’t dance around the room like I know you want to, kinda hint.
You swallowed the excitement before it could climb into your voice and made yourself sound merely curious. “And he stayed?”
A laugh broke from one of the younger men near the dartboard, humourless and mean-edged. “Stayed? Bastard rooted himself out there like a tick.”
“The fort bastard,” somebody else said, and that got a few ugly chuckles. “Saint Hale’s devil,” another supplied. “The doctor on the Rock,” Tom added, almost apologetically, as if he knew how ridiculous they all sounded but not enough to stop saying it. “The eye man,” said the barkeep. “If you’re bein’ polite.”
“Kessler, if you’re not,” Bran grunted from somewhere behind his glass. You let yourself smile into your beer. “Sounds beloved.” That got a broader ripple of laughter than anything else so far. “Oh, dearly,” Tom said. Eamon folded his arms. “Man’s got stores enough to keep a village in antibiotics, glassware, batteries, distilled alcohol, which he sure enjoys, sealed instruments, and God knows what else, and he’d sooner throw half of it in the sea than let us get comfortable asking.”
“He trades,” Tom said.
“When it suits him,” Bran snapped.
“When he wants parts,” the barkeep said.
“When his generator starts coughing like it’s got the plague,” somebody added from the bar, and that got actual laughter, easy and immediate, as if picturing Kessler inconvenienced was one of the few pleasures all of them shared.
The barkeep leaned one hip against the counter and pointed with his chin as he spoke, warming to the subject now that the whole room had accepted it. “Place is still powered, far as anybody can tell. He keeps the outer wall patched, lanterns lit, and that old radio mast upright. Been taking bits off the same damn setup for near twenty years and somehow the thing still grinds on. Water tanks up high. Rain catch. Old stores underneath. There’s a lower-level cut into the rock, too. Used to be a storm magazine, before they turned it into whatever federal men wanted it to be next.”
“Cryo storage,” Eamon said. That turned a few heads. Tom glanced at him. “That’s just what people say-" Eamon cut him off like he'd been preparing for this. “It is what I saw,” he announced, and a murmur moved through the room. Eamon scratched once at his jaw before continuing, clearly aware he had everyone now. “Went over there years ago, before he stopped pretending to tolerate company. Helped him haul in a damaged inverter after a storm. Lower level had sealed doors, backup lines, insulated cabinets, whole place cold enough to bite straight through your coat. There were labels on things, old ones. Ophthalmics, biologics, sample storage, all that thingamajig.”
The barkeep gave a low whistle. “And you never mentioned that?”
“You never asked. ‘Sides, I’m telling the Mrs.” And a few men grumbled at that.
You lowered your bottle slowly, very carefully, because your hand had started to tighten around the neck without your permission. Cryo. Eugene hadn’t been pulling that out of nowhere either. Daryl’s shoulder touched yours then, the barest nudge, but there was feeling in it. Not comfort exactly. More like I know. He must have clocked enough in your face to know what that word had done to you, because his knee pressed against yours and stayed there, a quiet weight keeping you in the room and not halfway to the island already in your head. “So what,” you said, managing casual by the skin of your teeth, “he’s just out there in his spooky little castle doing surgery on seagulls and yelling at boats?” That got another round of rough amusement. “More or less,” said Tom “...Ain’t a castle,” Bran muttered. Then, by the dartboard, “how should she know dumbass, she can't see!” said the younger man, who then, very gingerly, turned to you. "Sorry." You waved a hand to say it's fine, then settled it on Daryl's leg. Yep - that is one tense redneck.
Eamon shook his head once. “It’s an old signal fort - stone shell from the first build, steel reinforcement from later, and too many doors for a place that small. He sealed three-quarters of it after the fall and turned the rest into a one-man kingdom. Main hall, old exam rooms, generator room, stores, rooftop watch, dock on the lee side when the tide allows it.” Then, someone added, “-and a shit ton of firepower.”
“And a ton of shit manners,” Bran added. Tom sighed. “He was a doctor, once.”
“He still is,” Eamon said. “No,” Bran cut in, with the finality of old resentment. “He’s a paranoid quartermaster with a god complex.” That stirred the room more than anything else so far. A couple of men started talking at once.
“That’s not fair.”
“It’s exactly fair.”
“He patched your hand.”
“He charged me two jerrycans and a starter motor.”
“You still got your hand.”
“I’d have preferred a discount.”
The argument swelled and bent around itself, old as habit and oddly domestic in how well practiced it was. Listening to them pick at him, you got more than facts. You got the shape of the man. Careful. Mean. Necessary. Brilliant enough for people to keep coming back. Difficult enough to make them hate themselves for it. Exactly the sort of stubborn bastard who might still be alive. You kept your spoon moving through the chowder so nobody would notice you’d forgotten to eat. “And St. Hale’s just… there?” you asked, softer now, like someone making conversation instead of taking mental inventory. “Close enough to row?” Tom nodded. “On a calm day.”
“On a lucky one,” Bran corrected.
The barkeep waved a hand. “An hour, give or take, if the channel behaves.”
“If your ferryman knows what he’s doing,” said Eamon.
“If Kessler doesn’t decide to shoot you down,” snorted the younger man, which earned him three separate shushing noises and one dark look. He'd better be joking. “Friendly, then.” You smiled faintly around your beer. “Compared to some,” Bran said. Tom rubbed the back of his neck. “He wasn’t always this bad.”
“Yes, he was,” said half the room. That won a few rough chuckles, the kind men gave when an old argument had gone around so many times the shape of it had become comforting. Even Daryl made the smallest sound into his beer, not quite a laugh but close enough to count if you were being generous. Then a younger voice from somewhere off to your right — twenties at most by the sound of him, all naive and bad ideas — said, with the reckless brightness of somebody who’d only just realised there was a game to play, “Hey - maybe Kessler could fix your eyes up.”
You turned toward him at once. “Hey,” you said, like the possibility had just now struck you too. “Maybe he could. I never even thought of that. You hear that, honey?” You turned to a very still Daryl. This shit was just too easy. That was the first thing that hit you. Not the hope, not even the adrenaline under it. Just the sheer, suspicious ease of it. You had walked into a harbour at the end of nowhere and found not only the right island, not only the right man, but a room full of people willing to tell you exactly where he was and what kind of bastard he was over chowder and beer.
Still, you sat up a little, letting just enough eagerness in to look human without looking desperate. “Hey, I mean, it’s worth a shot,” you said, one hand lifting off your bottle in a small shrug. “Maybe we could borrow a boat and—”
Something touched your hair. Not a brush of air. Not your own movement or Daryl’s. Fingers. Light, almost reverent, right at the ends where it fell over your shoulder.
For one sharp second, your body went cold with disbelief. Then it moved before thought could catch up. You caught the wrist, twisted out of your chair, and used the momentum he’d so kindly given you to haul him forward and down, hard enough that his breath burst out in a startled bark as his face hit the table. The whole move happened in one clean line — grip, turn, force — your other hand shoving his shoulder up between his blades until his arm locked wrong and his body had no option but stillness if he wanted to keep the joint where God had put it.
His chair went over behind him with a crash, and the room detonated. Wood shrieked under boots. Chairs scraped back all at once. Somebody swore loud and inventively. Glass thudded and tipped. Daryl was up so fast his bench rocked, one hand already dropping, body turned broad and dangerous before the men nearest had even finished flinching. “Jesus—”
“Whoa, hey—”
“Easy!”
“Don’t move,” you said, low and furious into the stunned mess of the man pinned under your hand. “Ever heard of personal space, asshole?” He made a strangled sound into the table, one cheek flattened against weathered wood. “I—I only—”
“You only what?”
Tom was there now, not touching, not stupid enough for that, but close enough to sound panicked. “Please,” he said quickly. “Please, easy, he meant no harm.”
“Yeah right,” Daryl snarled. You could feel the men around you hovering at the edge of action, uncertain whether to rush in or back off. Most chose back off, which was smart. Daryl was somewhere just to your left now, close enough that you could feel the heat of him, the violent attention in him, and from the silence that had opened around him, you guessed the room could read exactly what he was prepared to do if anybody put a hand where it didn’t belong again. Tom swallowed audibly. “Mickey,” he said, and there was frustration in the way he said the name, as if this was not the first time youth and stupidity had shaken hands in his bar. “You apologise to the lady now.” The man under your grip sucked in a breath that hitched when your hold tightened by half an inch. “Sorry,” he ground out. “Christ, I’m sorry.” You kept him there one beat longer than was strictly necessary, then let him go with a short shove that left him scrambling upright in a panic of boots and overturned chair legs, clutching his shoulder and looking at you like he had just discovered fire could talk.
Nobody sat back down yet. Tom dragged a hand over his beard and said, too fast, like he was trying to get ahead of the ugliness before it could fully name itself, “You’ll have to forgive him. He hasn’t seen a woman in decades… most of us haven’t.” Then, because apparently humiliation was a team sport in here, he added, awkward and earnest and somehow making everything worse rather than better, “Certainly not a fair one.” You just stared at him. For one stupid second, your mind didn’t even know where to put the sentence. What the fuck was that supposed to mean? Was he trying to apologise or compliment you? Why was he explaining the hand in your hair like you were some rare bird that had flown into the wrong nest? You could feel the heat in the room, the embarrassment of it, the way several men suddenly found the floor or their boots or the view outside the door vastly more interesting than your face.
You had the shape of what was happening, sure. To you, it was a room full of isolated men acting weird and ashamed, and who had forgotten how to behave normally around a woman. But to Daryl, it was all the things they weren’t saying. The looks passing between Tom and the others. The way some of them wouldn’t meet his eyes now because they knew he’d seen too much. The way the younger ones were trying not to look hungry and failing. The way the older ones already looked halfway defensive, as if they’d skipped straight past embarrassment and landed in justification. He knew that breed of silence. Knew exactly what kind of thoughts men built inside it when they thought circumstance was a permission slip. He’d grown up around enough of it, been made out of enough of the same hard country to recognise the grain even when he hated it. As far as he was concerned, you were better off only catching half of it.
Mickey, still red-faced and clutching his shoulder where you’d nearly dislocated it, muttered, “I was only—”
“Shuddup,” Daryl snapped. The word cracked across the room all the same, sharp enough that Mickey shrank into himself. The whole Bell seemed to pull tighter around it. You looked slowly from Tom to the room beyond him, where men were now failing to look casual in a dozen different ways, some guilty, some annoyed at being caught feeling guilty, some not guilty enough by half. Daryl didn’t bother doing the same; he was looking at Tom. And Tom, to his credit or his cowardice, understood that look well enough not to fake innocence twice. Then Daryl said, flat and blunt enough to split the last of the politeness clean in two, “The hell happened to all your women?”
That landed like a bell struck in a house full of cracks. The room changed shape all over again. Whatever rough, nervous life had come back into it after the scuffle thinned out. Men looked down into their bottles. The radio carried on low and cheerful for three absurd seconds before the barkeep reached over and switched it off entirely.
Tom exhaled through his nose and glanced toward the bar, toward Bran, toward Eamon, as if quietly begging somebody else to take the first stone in hand. It was Bran who did.
He tipped his head back against the wall and said, “Storms.”
Then the barkeep snorted once, humourless. “Not just storms.”
“Didn’t say just,” Bran shot back. Eamon folded his arms. “It wasn’t one thing...”
Tom rubbed at the heel of his hand with his thumb, eyes on the table instead of on either of you. “Before,” he said slowly, “before all of it, Hook weren’t full of families year-round anyway. Men worked the harbour. Women lived inland or came and went with the season, or married out, or kept the houses back from the water where there was room enough for gardens and children and less stink in the walls.”
“Then the roads went bad,” the barkeep said. “The dead came up through the inland towns. Then everybody left standing started making ugly choices fast.”
“Harbour’s easier to hold than open houses,” Bran said. “Boats, one road in, water on three sides, bells if something got through. Men already here dug in. Brought who they could.” Eamon’s voice went flatter. “Not everybody made it.”
Tom picked it up after a moment, quieter now. “Some died in the first months. Some tried to get north with kin and never came back. Some wouldn’t stay once the harbour became what it became.”
“The hell that mean?” Daryl asked. This time it was the barkeep who answered, and the weariness in him made him sound older than he had ten minutes ago. “A place built for surviving, not living.” A man near the back gave a short laugh with no humor in it. “Should put it on the sign.”
“Shut up Johnson.” He took a drink instead. Another voice, one you hadn’t heard clearly yet, said, “There were women here after. For a bit.” The whole room seemed to lean toward that voice and away from it at once. “Marriages still. A few. Wives, daughters. Not many. Less and less as time went on. Hook got harder. Meaner. Men at sea more, sleeping in boats, trading rough, weather from hell, dead boxing us in. Then the crossings started taking people.” His voice had gone careful the way people’s voices did when they were stepping across old glass barefoot. “Channel’s never been kind,” he said. “But after the Fog Year…” He stopped there, and from the sound of the room, that phrase meant something all by itself. You turned your head slightly. “The Fog Year?”
Bran answered without looking at you. “Summer the fog sat wrong for near six weeks. Thick as fleece. Bells ringing all night. Boats missing the harbour mouth. Men hearing things out in it. Skiffs coming back light when they hadn’t gone light.”
Mickey, nursing his shoulder with wounded dignity, muttered, “Here we go.”
“Shut your mouth,” said the barkeep, without any heat to it. Eamon’s tone sharpened. “Four boats lost in that month. One overturned on black water. One stove in on the shoals. Two never found. After that, people started needing reasons.” Tom finally looked at you again, and there was shame in it now, or something close enough to pass. “Some said it was the tides. Some said rot in the boats. Some said the fog had fools hearing what they wanted to hear.” His mouth tightened. “Some said the water had turned against women. Us fishermen, we're superstitious and then some.” Daryl’s silence changed beside you. “Jesus Christ,” he said.
One of the younger men shifted. “Wasn’t like that at first,” he said, defensive on instinct.
“Wasn’t not like that either,” Bran muttered. The barkeep planted both palms on the counter. “Nobody here dragged women to the sea.”
“No,” Eamon said. “You just let grief get superstitious and called it caution.”
That won him a few dark looks and no contradiction worth hearing.
Tom spread his hands, helpless and a little angry now that the story had started and refused to stay tidy. “You want the truth? There isn’t just one. Some died. Some left. Some were sent inland because the harbour was no place to raise children anymore and no one could guarantee the road to fetch them back. Then years passed. Then more years. Men married nobody because there was nobody left to marry. Men stayed because the boats stayed. And after long enough…” He looked around the room, not needing to finish. After long enough, the place had become what it was. You heard the rest without him saying it. A bar full of men. Routines calcified into law. The kind of loneliness that became the way of life here.
You didn't know what to say. Not because the story had stunned you speechless. More because there was only so much solemnity you could reasonably be expected to sit through before it became unbearable. You took another sip of beer, swallowed, and said, “Well. That’s incredibly heartbreaking. But, I feel that if we all start unpacking all our tragic backstories, we'll be here till spring.” A few of them blinked. Maybe they expected you to exchange sob stories, give your condolences, maybe even offer a hug — not for you to essentially say ‘k whatever.’ One or two rough little laughs broke loose despite themselves, surprised and guilty, as if humour had turned up to a wake uninvited and was now standing in the doorway with its coat still on.
You shrugged one shoulder. “I’m not saying I don’t sympathise. I do. But there’s a whole sea full of nightmares out there, and if we stop for every sad story, nothing will get done. Like, say, getting my sight back.” That took the last of the polished edge off the room. The careful manners had been fraying for a while now; this snapped them the rest of the way. The Bell stopped pretending to be a normal public place with etiquette and settled into what it actually was: a room full of men who had lived too long with one another to bother dressing their thoughts up unless they absolutely had to.
Beside you, Daryl stepped up properly, bringing himself into the conversation with the same blunt inevitability he brought into everything else. “Look,” he said, voice flat and rough and done with their folklore. “We need a boat to cross that channel. Ma wife needs to see this doctor. If there’s even a shot this asshole can help her, we’re takin’ it.”
The room reacted all at once, not in one neat chorus but in overlapping disbelief.
“Both of you?”
“You want to go to St. Hale?”
“In this weather?”
“With her?”
You tipped your bottle idly in the direction of the noise. “Well, I assume Kessler isnt gonna come to us, seeing as he hasn’t left the island in forever, soo yeah.”
Tom’s mouth tightened. “You mean to cross to the island? Together?”
Were you speaking Spanish or something? You turned your face toward him. “Yeah. Sounds like a great couple’s getaway.” He glanced at Daryl, then back at you, and tried to drape concern over what was obviously alarm. “It’s only that, in your condition—”
That one made you laugh. “My condition?” You repeated back. “Which one?” That got another few quick, involuntary laughs, but Tom held his ground. “I mean no insult,” he said. “Only that the crossing’s no joke, and St. Hale’s no place to land blind.”
“Thanks for the concern,” you said, dry as the boards under your boots. “We’re still getting to that island. We’ll swim if we have to.” That stirred the room for real.
Bran set his glass down with a little clack and said, “No woman crosses that channel.”
There it was. Not draped in apology or diluted. Just put on the table like a knife. At least the superficial bullshit was over. “Oh, we're back to this now?” you said, spinning in your chair. “It ain’t ‘this,’” said somebody near the stove. “It’s sense.”
“Is it?” you asked, turning to Daryl. "Because where we come from, we call it bullshit.”
A younger man, one of the ones who’d laughed too hard at the wrong moments all evening, gave a one-shouldered shrug from somewhere near the bar. “It’s the same as throwing the first catch back into the sea so we get a fuller net.," he said, like it was common sense. "It may well be superstition to you, but we’ve been eating pretty good since it’s just been us.” That won a murmur or two. It was almost as if they didn't want to say it out loud but were glad someone did in the end.
You actually smiled because you couldn’t help it. It was so magnificently stupid. “Right,” you said. “Of course. The fish are sexist.” Daryl smiled before he could help it. A few men looked offended on behalf of the fish. Tom added, “It's not that simple.”
“Sounds pretty simple to me," Daryl said. "Buncha superstitious pricks stuck feeling sorry for themselves.” That sharpened a few faces around the room, but he didn’t care. If anything, he seemed steadier for having finally stopped pretending to be patient.
Orrin, who had stayed mostly quiet through the earlier talking, shifted where he leaned by the wall and said, “You don’t know that water.”
“No,” Daryl said. “That’s why I’m askin’ for a damn boat.”
“You askin’ for a boat,” Bran said, “and askin’ to carry her on it ain’t the same thing.”
Tom lifted both hands a little, peacemaker to the last. “Maybe he goes,” he said, nodding toward Daryl. “Maybe she stays here, and you row out at first light. Sees your doctor. Comes back with what’s to be had.” Daryl answered so fast it almost stepped on the end of the suggestion. “Nah.” Tom blinked for a few seconds, stunned. He opened his mouth again to try press further, but Daryl beat him to it. “No way,” he said, every word scraped down to the grain. “Ain’t happenin’.” You nodded. “Any other bad ideas?”
“It ain’t a bad idea,” said the younger one again. “It’s the sensible one.”
“Separating me and my husband is not a sensible idea pal,” you cut in, not stumbling over a single word. Tom tried once more. “We are only trying to protect you.”
You rolled your eyes so hard you could practically hear it. “Who are you to protect me?And from what? The channel? The island? Or all this womanly bad-luck energy I’m apparently radiating into your haddock?”
A few men grinned at that despite themselves, but the unease underneath it didn’t budge. Orrin’s voice stayed level. “We’ve seen too many good women fall to bad water.”
“Trust me buddy," you chuckled. "I’ve survived a lot worse.”
Tom looked from you to Daryl and back again, frustration tightening his voice. “We’re trying to keep your wife safe,” he said to Daryl. “Isn't that your job?”
Now, why did he have to go and say something dumb like that?
Daryl straightened from where he’d been half leaning over your chair, all of him going hard at once in that cold, dangerous way of his that gave even you the chills.
“Ma job?” he said. He took one step forward, not much, but enough to make the nearest men pull their shoulders back on instinct. “My job,” he repeated, quieter now, which was worse, “ain’t lettin’ a room full o’ strangers decide what’s best for ma wife.”
Tom opened his mouth, maybe to soothe, maybe to backtrack, but you got there first.
“Okay,” you said, because if Daryl kept going, this was going to become a very different kind of evening. “Let’s all unclench a little.” His hand found the back of your chair again, fingers tight over the wood, but he let you have the floor. “Here’s what’s gonna happen,” you enunciated, mildly surprised at how sure you sounded. “We’re getting a boat. Tonight, tomorrow, with or without your blessing, borrowed, stolen, manifested by divine intervention - I genuinely do not care which. But we’re going. Both of us.”
Tom looked at you for a long second, and when he spoke again, his tone had changed. Still soft and polite. But underneath it was something firmer. More insisting. “You’ve both been on the road too long,” he put simply. “You’re tired. Wound up. How about we leave the water where it is for one night, let everybody cool off, and talk sensible in the morning?”
“Ain’t gonna be no compromise,” Daryl said. “We don’t buy bullshit.” The room shifted at that, not rising exactly, but drawing itself inward. Men leaning in, listening harder. The barkeep set his rag down for good. Even the ones who’d looked half amused before seemed to be settling on the fact that this was no longer a conversation they could steer. Tom, maddeningly, did not rise to it. He only said, “No one’s asking you to buy anything. Only offering a bed, hot water, and a chance not to make a dangerous crossing in the dark after a long journey on the road.”
“It’s five in the afternoon,” you said.
“Close enough to evening on this coast,” Bran muttered. “And there’s weather coming.”
You tipped your head. “So your answer is what, exactly? We sit in your weird little fish monastery till sunrise and then revisit the same argument with a fresh take?”
That won a rough chuckle or two, but Tom was already pressing on. “There’s a room in the back,” he said. “Used to be for families passing through. Still keeps dry. Shower works when the boiler feels generous. You can wash up, get warm, sleep proper. Most of the lads bunk in their boats anyway.”
“Take mine,” somebody offered too quickly. Then another voice from near the wall said, “Mine’s comfier.” A third, from farther back, called, “Got a stern bunk and clean blankets if they’d rather—” Daryl’s expression at that must have been murderous, because the offers died with abrupt intelligence. You sat there in the middle of it, listening to all this chivalry-shaped nonsense pile up around you, and had to bite the inside of your cheek to keep from laughing. The problem become obvious; they were not hearing no. Not because they meant immediate violence, necessarily, but because the whole room had settled around an idea and was using politeness as ballast. Feed them. House them. Delay them. Revisit in the morning. Keep the woman off the water.
And if you pushed too hard against that right now, with this many men and this much old fear in the walls, things would get uglier than either of you could afford before you’d even found out where they kept the boats.
Your eye doctor, if he really was alive and souring on his island like mouldy cheese, would almost certainly still be there tomorrow. You let your thumb drag once around the neck of your empty bottle and exhaled. “Lead the way then.” When the barkeep came around from behind the counter with a ring of keys and another man moved to show you both where the back room was, it was done with such smooth, collective certainty that refusing would have meant turning the whole bar into a standoff.
The back hall was narrow enough that two people passing would have to decide which one of them they liked less to go first. The boards underfoot had that old, hollow give to them, and every step stirred up a smell of damp plaster, dust, funny-smelling soap, and something sour long soaked into the walls and never properly cleaned. Whoever had built this place had clearly done it in sections and moods; the bar out front was all heat and wet wool and fish grease, but the hall behind it felt preserved in a different century altogether. Faded floral paper peeled from the walls in tired strips, the pattern underneath gone the colour of weak tea. A framed print of some sailboat had hung crooked for so long that the dust had outlined its better years. Brass hooks lined one wall, empty now except for a yellowing raincoat and a coil of line nobody had bothered to move. “It’s just through here,” Tom said, his voice pitched low in a way that was probably meant to be soothing and only made everything feel more staged.
Daryl stayed so close behind you, his breath fanning the back of your hair once when the hallway narrowed. You could feel all the restraint in him, the way he was allowing this only because he’d decided, for now, that this was better than chatting with the crowd of men in the Bell.
Tom opened a door at the very end of the passage and stood aside. The room beyond was small and close and so untouched by time it almost startled you. Dust and old starch and the faint, dead smell of sealed fabric sat in the air. A queen bed took up most of the space, the iron frame painted cream once upon a lifetime ago and now chipped down to the darker metal beneath. A quilt lay folded over the top, heavy and floral and old enough to have seen a war or two, and the wallpaper in here was somehow worse than the hall — tiny blue flowers repeating themselves over and over in the gloom like they’d been trapped with each other too long. There was a wardrobe in one corner, a washstand in the other, and a little wooden crucifix over the bed that made the whole thing feel faintly like it belonged in a widow’s memory more than a working harbour. The single window must have faced the water, because even shut, you could hear the slow knock of halyards and the thud of waves close by. “There you go,” Tom said.
You stood in the doorway for a second, trying to get a sense of the room. The mattress gave off that specific smell old beds had — cedar, dust, linen, old bodies long gone. Safe to say there won't be any action on that thing tonight.
You could feel Daryl clocking the corners, the window, the wardrobe, the shape of the room, not making any move to go into the room yet, attention moving ahead of the rest of him like a knife. “It’s real cute,” you said, because apparently even now your mouth had no interest in self-preservation. “Love the.. wallpaper… yknow if there is wallpaper, I wouldn’t… know exactly.” Tom let out a faint, uncertain laugh. One of the other men — because apparently this was a group task and you’d lost track of which voice belonged to who by now, only that this one was older and smelled faintly of engine oil and stale tobacco — said, “Eh. It’s dry.”
“Well,” you said, “that’s romance sorted.” Daryl stepped in then, hand brushing lightly at the back of your elbow to guide you around the bedframe, and the men followed just far enough into the doorway to make the whole thing immediately awkward. “Can we get you anything else?” Someone asked. You and Daryl in unison said, “Nope.” A beat. Tom nodded. “Right. Good.” Another fucking beat. “There’s extra blankets in the wardrobe there,” said the older one, pointing somewhere to your left. “If it gets cold.”
“And the window opens,” Tom added quickly, as if unwilling to leave. “If it gets hot.”
“Good to know,” you said. Nobody moved. The silence lengthened, odd and dense and stupid. Please lord let this day be over.
You could almost hear Daryl’s patience fraying by the thread. “Uh,” he said at last, with all the enthusiasm of a man trying not to bare his teeth, “Alrigh’see ya ‘morrow.”
That seemed to break whatever spell they’d all fallen into. Tom started like he’d forgotten doors existed. “Oh. Right, yes. Of course. We’ll—” He cleared his throat. “You just holler if you need anything.”
“Anything at all,” the other one added, a little too earnestly.
Daryl’s hand found the edge of the door. “Mm.” The men retreated at last in a clatter of manners and boots, and Daryl shut the door on the tail end of one more, “Sleep well, now,” with a firmness that bordered on violence. The latch clicked. Silence. Then both of you let out a breath at the same time. For a second, neither of you said anything. The quiet in the room wasn’t true quiet — the harbour still moved around you in layers, wood ticking, water knocking somewhere below, a far-off gull making a sound like a rusty hinge — but compared to the Bell it felt almost private. “Holy shit,” you sighed.
Daryl turned away from the door and dragged both hands down his face. “Jesus Christ.” That got a weak laugh out of you, mostly because it was easier than admitting your skin was still crawling. You moved farther in, found the bed with the backs of your knees, and sat. The mattress gave with a long, complaining sigh under your weight. Dust breathed up from somewhere deep in the blankets. Daryl stayed standing for another second, listening through the door, then finally turned and came toward you.
“What?” you asked. “Too many charming bachelors for one night?” He shot you a look you only partly caught, more shape than detail, but familiar enough to read on instinct.
“Oh cmon they’re harmless,” you said, reaching up to work your fingers into your scalp. The headache had been there in some low, ugly form since the bike, but it was climbing now, a slow band of pressure tightening behind your eyes and up through your temples. “Creepy, yes. Socially fossilised, absolutely. But not exactly organised crime.”
Daryl leaned one shoulder against the wall beside the bed instead of sitting, arms folding over his chest. “You didn’t see the way they kept lookin’ atcha.”
That made you pause with your fingers still caught in your hair. “No,” you said, quieter. “That’s sort of the problem, isn’t it?” Something shifted in his face, subtle and gone almost before it landed. Guilt, maybe. Or just anger with nowhere clean to go. “They kept starin’,” he said after a second. “Not just regular starin’. Like…” He exhaled hard through his nose, searching for something he hated having to describe. “I dunno. Like you were somethin’ that oughta be behind glass. Half o’ them looked scared to breathe on ya and the other half looked like they wanted to keep ya.” You made a face. “Oooh. Maybe you could keep me in a glass enclosure," you said, winking. "Could be fun.”
“Be serious.”
“Ugh fine.” You scrubbed both hands back through your hair and winced when the pressure behind your eyes pulsed harder for it. “I’m just saying, they’re weird. Weird isn’t the same thing as dangerous.”
He looked at you for a long moment. “Man put his hands on you.”
“It was just my hair, and he didn’t get off easy.” You lifted one shoulder. “I think the message was received.”
Daryl pushed off the wall then, restless energy forcing him into motion. He crossed the room, checked the window, glanced into the wardrobe, turned once through the tiny space like if he looked at it enough it might reveal whatever part of itself he didn’t trust. “We should make a run for it now,” he said. “Soon as it’s dark enough, we take one o their boats.” You blinked up at him. “Now?”
“Yeah, now.” You smiled despite yourself. “You just want to steal something.”
“Always wanna steal somethin’,” he muttered. “This time it’s practical.”
You laughed under your breath, but the sound died quickly because the headache did not care that he was being funny by accident. It kept tightening. Your vision, already soft at the edges in this dim room, seemed to smear further whenever you moved too fast, the faint shapes of dull colour swimming if you looked toward the window too long. Nausea stirred low and unpleasant under your ribs, not enough to send you scrambling, just enough to make your skin feel one degree wrong. You pinched the bridge of your nose and Daryl noticed immediately. “You alright?”
“Yeah.” You dropped your hand, then put it right back because pretending wasn’t helping. “Just got a headache.” His brow drew. “Still from the road?”
“Maybe.” You pressed your fingertips harder into your scalp, as if you could physically unhook the ache from behind your eyes if you found the right place. “Maybe from the fish monastery and all its winning personalities.”
He came back to stand in front of you. “You’ve looked rough since we hit the harbour.”
“Thank you, sweetie.”
“You know what I mean.” Alas, he was right. “I think I just need a shower,” you sighed. He frowned like you’d suggested setting yourself on fire. “A shower?”
“Yes, a shower. With water. Soap if god is feeling generous. I haven’t had one in over a week, I smell like roadkill, and I did in fact throw up at the side of the road earlier, so unless we’re trying to ward off any fishermen from our stench, I’d like to fix that.”
His expression did not improve. “Ain’t a good idea.” You looked up at him. “Why not?”
“Cause I don’t trust this place - they probably got a glory hole in there.” You snorted softly. "Nice.”
“I’m serious.”
“So am I.” You planted your hands on the mattress to push yourself up, and the room lurched just enough to make you stop halfway, jaw tightening. A bright pulse went off behind your eyes, sharp enough this time to drag a breath through your teeth. Daryl was on you immediately. “Hey.” His hands came down warm and steady on your shoulders, easing you back before pride could make you pretend that hadn’t just happened. “Sit.”
“I am sitting.”
“Then stay there.” He crouched in front of you, one hand still braced at your arm while the other came up to tip your chin slightly. Not enough to cage, just enough to make sure he had all of your attention. Up close, he smelled like road grit and old leather and the beer he’d barely touched. “How bad is yer head hurtin’?” His thumb brushed once, brief and rough, against your temple. “Any worse than before?” You wanted to lie — that was always the instinct first. But his hands were on you, and the room was spinning very mildly, and somewhere under the headache was that same not-right feeling that had been dogging you since the road turned salty. “Maybe,” you admitted.
He nodded once, already standing.“Stay put. Gonna getcha water. See if they got any painkillers besides booze.” You caught his wrist before he could move off fully, fingers finding the warm bone of it by habit. “Don’t kill anyone yet.” The corner of his mouth twitched, but there was no humor in it. “No promises.”
“Daryl.”
“I said I’d getcha water.” He leaned down just enough to press a quick kiss to your lips, more instinct than tenderness, and headed for the door, already listening before he’d even reached it. At the latch, he paused, glanced back once, saw you still sitting with one hand pressed to your temple and the other fisted in the old quilt, and his face hardened in that familiar way that meant somebody else was about to have a much worse evening than you were. Then he slipped out into the hall and shut the door softly behind him.
However, he didn’t even make it halfway down the hall. The back passage of the Bell had its own way of carrying sound. The walls were too thin, the old wood too honest about what it held. Voices bled through plaster and under doors in warped little currents, some swallowed by distance, some sharpened by the narrowness of the hall until they landed clearer than they should have.
Daryl had just reached the bend where the corridor opened toward what was probably the kitchen when something in the tone of a room to his right stopped him cold.
It wasn't ordinary talk. It had that low, hard kind of conversation men had when they thought the people in question were already handled.
The door wasn’t fully shut. Just notched over, enough that a stripe of warmer light cut across the warped floorboards. He heard Tom first, voice pulled thin with strain. “…I’m telling you, keep your voice down - you can’t be saying that out loud in front of them.”
A second voice answered, older, roughened by years of salt and smoke. Bran, maybe. “Didn’t say it in front of ’em, did I?”
“No, you just waited till they were ten feet away.” Daryl went still beside the wall, every part of him quieting at once. One hand settled automatically near his knife, and he silently hoped they pushed him far enough to use it. Inside, somebody else spoke. Younger, tight with excitement that had nowhere clean to go.“I’m sayin’ look at the thing for what it is. A woman hasn’t set foot in Hook in what, a decade? More? Then she walks in out of nowhere, blind as winter and still tougher than half the room. You call that nothin’?” A mutter rolled over the others. Agreement from some. Uneasy silence from others. Tom again, lower now. “She’s not a thing.”
“No,” said another voice, too quick, already defensive. “She’s a sign.”
That one was followed by the soft scrape of a chair and the creak of floorboards under shifting weight, men moving in agitation rather than comfort. Daryl could see none of them through the sliver by the hinge, only the occasional cut of shadow across the stripe of light, but he could build a room from sound well enough. Three, maybe four round a table. More at the back. None sober enough to have the good sense this conversation deserved. “A sign of what?” Tom asked, and in his voice Daryl could hear the dangerous hope that if he kept them talking long enough, they’d hear themselves and feel stupid. “A sign that Hook ain’t dead yet,” the younger voice said. “A sign the water ain’t shut us off for good. Christ, what d’you think we’re meant to do here, then? Fish till we rot and sink? Sit in that bar till we run out of drink? We’ve got no sons. No daughters. No nothin’. Just boats and stories and old men getting older.”
“That ain’t her problem,” Tom snapped.
“It becomes her problem if she leaves.” A chair barked hard across the floor. Someone had stood up too fast. “The hell does that mean?” Tom asked.
“It means,” said a new voice, slow and deliberate in the way of a man who thought calm made him righteous, “that the world don’t hand out chances twice. We all know what this place is. We all know what it ain’t. Then she shows. Not dead. Not lost. Walks through our front door like she was sent here.”
“Sent by who?” Tom said. “The Lord Himslef? Or your own loneliness?”
“The same thing, some days,” the older man answered, and got a couple of grim noises of approval for it. Daryl’s jaw set so hard it hurt.
Another voice cut in, one he recognised vaguely as the barkeep’s, though stripped now of the dry humour he’d been wearing out front. “No one’s sayin’ chain her to a bed.”
“Funny,” Bran muttered. “Could’ve fooled me.” The barkeep went on over him, impatient. “I’m sayin’ think. Use the heads God forgot to make decorative. She’s with him, yeah. Fine. Then you keep him calm, keep her here, and work somethin’ sensible.”
Tom gave a short, disbelieving laugh. “Keep her here.”
“She ain’t gonna stay if you ask,” said the younger one. “Then don’t ask,” finished the barkeep. Daryl’s fingers tightened around the handle of his knife before he could stop them, every muscle in him begging to burst through the door and let the room sort itself out around the consequences.
Then Eamon — thank Christ for one bastard in the building with a working brain — said sharply, “You’re all out of your fuckin’ minds.”
A few men talked at once after that, words tangling. Daryl caught pieces.
“…just for the night—”
“…she’s already here—”
“…we haven’t had—”
“…the wife of a stranger, have you all gone feral—”
Tom was back in it now, voice climbing despite himself. “This is exactly why I said put them in the back and leave them be.”
“And then what?” somebody shot back. “Tomorrow she gets on a boat and goes out to St. Hale, and we what? Wave? Wish her tight lines?”
“Yes,” Tom said. “That is how people leaving generally works.”
A dull thump landed against the table. A fist, probably.
“She could be exactly what this place needs,” said the same older, measured voice from before. “Maybe she can be the one to sort out that Kessler once and for all. That bastard isn't any good for Hook - but she could be.” The silence after that was ugly, and Daryl felt it all the way in his teeth. Inside, someone exhaled hard enough to whistle. Someone else swore under his breath, quick and prayerful. Tom sounded sick. “Don’t.”
“Why not say it plain?” the older man pushed. “What are we guarding this harbour for, if not the chance of somethin’ after us? We got boats. Stores. Work. Roof. Men enough still breathing to build somethin’ if there were somethin’ to build toward.”
“A person is not livestock,” Eamon said. “No one said she was.” Barkeep.
“You didn’t have to!”
The younger one again, all bright certainty and no shame now that he’d found others to hide inside: “Maybe she don’t even have to be kept. Maybe she will see what Hook is, what it could be. Maybe the husband gets sent on. Maybe he stays too. We don’t know what’s possible if you lot keep panickin’ at the first mention of it.”
Tom said, each word scraped raw, “He is not gettin’ sent anywhere without her.” Damn straight, Daryl thought. “And she’s not leaving without seeing Kessler for 'erself,” someone replied. Bran made a low sound in his throat. “You boys keep talkin’ like she ain’t the one put Mickey through a table.” A few nervous laughs flickered and died.
“That only proves she’s got fight,” said the older voice. “Better than half the daughters we’d have raised here.”
Another man spoke from farther back, one Daryl hadn’t heard clearly before. The voice was old enough to shake at the edges, but the conviction in it was iron. “Call me selfish. I am. We all are. We’ve outlived the world and for what? To drink ourselves hollow and ring the bell till our hands quit? She comes here now, after all this time, and you want me to believe it means nothin’? That she’s just passing through? There’s no such thing as passing through Widow’s Hook anymore.” That seemed to have got them — not all but enough. The murmurs that followed weren’t uniform. That was the worst part. Not one plan, not one evil little scheme he could cut cleanly in half, but a room full of loneliness and fear and superstition all trying to dress themselves up as destiny.
Some wanted to delay. Some wanted to persuade. Some wanted Daryl sent across to St. Hale alone while she “rested.” Some wanted the boat hidden. Some wanted the channel blamed. One of them — the younger one again — laughed under his breath and said, “Woman hasn’t been sweet in this harbour in over a decade and you lot wanna hand her back to the road.”
That was enough. Daryl moved before he was fully conscious of deciding to. He stepped away from the wall as silently as he’d come to it, the knife still warm in his grip, and forced his hand open by inches until his fingers obeyed him again. If he went through that door now, he would kill somebody. Maybe not all of them, a handful. And then he and you would be fighting your way out through a bar full of men who cursed bananas or whatever the superstition was. Nope. Go time, though. Absolutely.
He turned on his heel and headed back down the hall in three soundless strides, every part of him sharpened to one simple fact: you were not staying another minute longer than it took to get you on your feet.
He slipped back inside and was met with the dim little shape of you on the bed with one hand still pressed to your temple, just as he left you— and for one insane second, the normality of it made what he’d just heard feel even filthier. You looked up at the sound of the latch. “That was fast. Did they have aspirin?” He crossed to you so quickly the mattress dipped before you’d finished talking. “Get up,” he said. “We’re leavin’.”
Something in his voice made you straighten at once. “Daryl?”
There was no softness. No room left in the sentence for argument. The headache still sat behind your eyes like a hot nail, the room soft and swimmy at the edges, but the tone in him burned right through it. You pushed yourself upright, hand finding the bedspread to steady against the brief tilt of the room. “What happened?”
He crouched in front of you, hands already at your elbows, grounding and urgent all at once. His face was a blur in the dim, but you didn’t need detail to know what was written there. Fury. Fear. Restraint by a thread. The kind of restraint that only ever meant he’d seen or heard something bad enough to make immediate movement smarter than explanation
“They're plannin' something,” he said, low and hard. “Overheard 'em back there talkin’.”
Your stomach dropped clean through the floor. “How bad?” His jaw flexed. “Bad.” That was answer enough for the moment. You took one breath, then another, letting the fear burn off into something more useful. “Okay.” He blinked, almost like he’d expected more fight from you. Not that he didn't appreciate you being compliant for once, but it was a rarity. You swung your legs off the bed and stood, head pounding, pulse already up. “You did say get up, not write an essay. Do we have a plan, or are we improvising again?” Somewhere under the rage, the corner of his mouth twitched. “Steal a boat,” he said. You nodded once. "Definitely didn't see that coming." It was bound to happen. Daryl crossed the room in two strides and put his hand on the knob first, testing it, listening, then turned the little old lock with a soft click that sounded much louder than it ought to have. If anyone tried the door, they’d lose a few seconds to confusion, and right now a few seconds was the difference between sneaking out cleverly and fighting your way through Widow’s Hook like idiots. He went to the window next. The frame complained when he eased it up, paint sticking, old wood swelling with damp, but it gave in the end with a breath of colder air off the harbour. The smell hit at once: salt, diesel, wet rope, fish gone sweet at the edges, the mineral stink of tidal mud. Outside, the world had tipped into that in-between hour where dark had not fully arrived but was leaning over the rail and thinking about it.
Daryl looked back at you; “C’mere,” he said, and you were there in a heartbeat, one hand braced against the wall while the room gave a slow little tilt under your feet. He caught you at the waist, steady and quick, and boosted you up onto the sill with the same unceremonious efficiency he used for loading sacks of feed or highly troublesome wives. The headache pulsed harder when you ducked your head to climb through, but the cold air outside slapped some sense back into you. “Watch your foot,” he murmured. “Drop’s a little farther than it sounds.”
“Encouraging.”
“Just go.” You eased yourself out, found the outside wall with one palm, then the packed ground with your boots, damp gravel shifting under your soles. A second later Daryl came through after you in one compact movement, dragging the window mostly shut behind him. He caught your hand at once and tugged you after him. You moved along the back of the Bell with the building on your left and the harbour breathing cold and wide to your right. Widow Light turned slow out on its tower, the beam sweeping the harbour in pale intervals, washing over masts and hulls and slick boards in a cold white blade. Daryl stopped dead and pulled you with him into the lee of a stack of crab pots until it passed. You held your breath, cheek near his shoulder, hearing the sea knock softly under the dock planks and the lazy chime of a fog bell swaying with the waves. When the light moved on, he tugged you forward again. “Boat’s close,” he breathed, fingers tightened around yours, which in Daryl language was probably either affection or don’t you dare say something clever and equally stupid.
The dock itself was a jigsaw of old boards, gaps, coils of line, and things designed to trip you up if the wind didn't manage to push you off the side first. You could feel the openness of it immediately, the wrongness of all that empty moving darkness spread out on either side. No walls. No fence. No sense of where the ground ended except the slap of waves and the thin groan of boats shifting against their moorings. Your skin pebbled under your jacket. Widow Light turned again, and Daryl pulled you down beside a stack of bait crates this time until the beam slid over and away. When he moved next, it was slower, more careful. You could feel his attention sharpening ahead of him, focused somewhere past your shoulder. Then he stopped altogether. What you caught was the pipe first. Not visually, of course. The scent: strong, tarry tobacco, thick enough to sit in the damp like its own weather. Another fisherman somewhere close, probably older too, because who on earth still smoked a pipe? The man was smoking like he meant to survive on it alone. Daryl’s mouth touched your ear for half a second. “Stay.” Then his hand slipped from yours.
Every part of you went alert. You heard him go, not because he was loud but because you knew the grammar of his body by now, the careful distribution of weight, the silence with purpose in it. One soft board. Another. The old sailor gave no sign he’d noticed. You could hear the wet pull of his pipe, the little exhale after. Then a scuffle so brief it barely counted as one. A grunt cut off at the root. A body shifted hard against wood. And then the splash. No production of it, just the blunt, ugly sound of a person made suddenly into harbour matter. Though the sound effects weren’t exactly ambiguous. He startled you when he spawned at your side again. “C’mon.”
The boat he’d chosen rode lower than the others, a narrow rowboat tucked half behind a broader trawler, bumping softly against rubber fenders. Daryl stepped in first, the hull rocking under his weight, then reached up for you. “Gimme yer hand,” he whispered, and you found his wrist, then palm, rough and cold, and let him guide your boot to the edge. “Watch the gap,” he whispered again. “Big step down.”
“Everything about today has felt like a big step down.” He made a sound under his breath that might have been a laugh if there’d been any room for one. Then he steadied you as you climbed in, one hand at your elbow, one braced at your waist while the boat shifted treacherously underfoot. You dropped lower than you meant to and thumped onto the bench with all the grace of a sack of onions. "Ugh i wasn't built for this," you grumbled. He shushed you, reaching for the bowline only for you to slap his hand away. “Oh, absolutely not,” you hissed. “You're shit at knots.”
He paused, gravely insulted. “Am not.”
“You tied the prison gates in a granny knot the whole time we were there.”
“That was one time.”
“It was one season.” Your fingers found the wet rope and went to work by feel, quick and sure despite the cold making them clumsy at the tips. “Move over.” He shook his head — you heard it in the little exhale through his nose — but let you. The knot came loose under your hands with a gratifying little give, and you shoved the line free. “There,” you said. “Competence.” Daryl shoved off with the oar, and the boat drifted a foot, then another, before he got both oars set and started rowing in earnest. Daryl grunted with the effort, settling into a rhythm, and you could tell you were moving at a good pace, but you hated it immediately. Cold wind came at once, harsher out from the protection of the docks, scraping tears from the corners of your eyes and needling under your collar. The water sounded different away from the pilings — less slap, more spread, busy and vast. Each pull of the oars announced itself through the boat in a series of small jolts and sways, the hull answering the waves with a queasy rise and fall that made your stomach tighten in warning.
The harbour noises were receding behind you, replaced by open water and wind and the wet creak of wood under strain. St. Hale was somewhere ahead — still only a shape in the dark for him, a notion for you — but the channel between felt endless already. You hunched your shoulders against the cold and said, “Is this a bad time to mention I really don’t appreciate big open bodies of water?”
“What?” Daryl barked back, not hearing over the wind and ragged breath. You raised your voice. “I said I hate this.”
He rowed another pull. “Coulda mentioned that before we stole a boat.”
“Well, I’m mentioning it now - it's more dramatic.” The boat lurched sideways over a chop, and your hand shot for the bench edge. The motion sent a fresh pulse through your head, light smearing weirdly at the edges of your vision where the lighthouse beam occasionally touched the water and broke it into pale, shivering ribbons. You swallowed hard and tried again, louder.
“Ever since I fell into that frozen lake trying to save your stupid ass from freezing to death last winter, I haven't been too crazy about open water.” That got his attention enough for him to angle his head toward you without fully breaking rhythm. “Yeah?”
“Yeah, yeah.” Your laugh came out thinner than you meant. “It was horrible. You know what being underwater is like when you can’t orient for shit? It’s just cold. That’s it. Cold and pressure and no up or down and no idea where your own body ends. It—” You broke off, hugging yourself tighter against the memory as much as the wind. "It sucks." He was quiet for a few strokes. Then, between breaths, he said, “Yeah. Course I knew.”
You turned your head toward him. The question rose automatically — how? — and died before it made it to your mouth. Of course he knew. He knew when your smile was one degree too bright. He knew the sound your boots made when you were tired versus pissed off. He knew how your hand searched for him in your sleep. He knew the shape of your fear because he'd spent years learning what it looked like before you ever named it. The answer was embarrassingly obvious. Still, because you were you, you muttered, “What, because I’m an open book?”
“To me — yeah,” he shot back. “'Sides — we got a boat fer that reason. Ain’t here for swimmin’.” You smiled despite yourself, cold and queasy and miserable as you were.
Suddenly the harbour changed pitch. What reached you from the harbor then was not the old, low murmur of men at drink, not the softened clink of glass and talk made harmless by walls and distance, but something sharper and more immediate, a single shout cutting clean across the wind, followed by another, and then the answering lift of voices all at once as the news spread from one mouth to the next faster than sense could catch it. You turned too quickly, the motion sending a spike of pain straight through your skull, and had to squint against the smear of lantern-light and water and dark, but even through the pulse behind your eyes you could make out the shape of panic taking hold behind you: men spilling onto the dock, lights jerking in nervous hands, bodies crossing and recrossing one another in confusion before the confusion hardened into purpose.
Then came a sound that separated itself from the rest and lodged in your ribs — one voice rising high with that thin, shocked edge people got when they found not a man where they had expected one to be, but what had been done to him. “Well,” you called over the tide, because apparently your mouth intended to keep being itself right up until death, “I think the living-breathing chimney may be sorely missed.”
Daryl threw one glance over his shoulder and drove the oars harder. “Shit.”
The harbour answered him by erupting properly. You heard your theft in the shape of it before you caught any one word whole: boat, channel, shit, the Rock, what the fuck, stop them, fucking shit, get Orrin, Jesus Christ, and under all of it the sound of too many boots hammering the dock in the same direction. Daryl swore again, lower this time. “What?” you snapped. “Bigger boat,” he said. “S'got an engine.” Great.
Behind you, men shouted over one another, the planks rang beneath running feet, and then through the confusion broke the ugly metallic cough of an engine being forced awake after sitting too long in damp salt air. It choked once, then again, and for one small impossible second, you hoped that would be the end of it, that it would die there in a cloud of curses and old fuel and leave you the dark to hide in. Instead it caught with a roar that rolled over the water like something physical, something with teeth, the kind of sound that did not merely announce pursuit but promised it. “Daryl—”
“I know.” The rowboat lurched hard under another chop and he answered it with raw effort, hauling at the oars until the locks complained and the whole small craft shuddered around the labour of him. You could hear what it was costing him now in every breath he dragged in, every grunt forced out through clenched teeth, the ugly strain of a man trying to wring flight out of something that wasn't built for speed.
Behind you, the engine note deepened and steadied. Not close yet, but it wasn’t exactly staying where it was. “They’re gainin' on us,” he bit out, and there was no room in his voice for comfort. “Then row faster,” you shouted back.
“The hell ya think im doin'!?" You twisted toward the humming engine from behind you, pulse suddenly everywhere at once, in your throat, your wrists, behind your eyes, under your tongue. The chase boat was still mostly a thing made of sound to you, but it felt monstrous anyway, bigger than it probably was, because the water under your own hull had abruptly become too small, too thin, too useless at keeping you alive if anything went wrong. Each swell lifted you and dropped you again with a queasy slap, and the engine behind you rose and fell with the chop, louder each time it climbed, meaner each time it came down. Daryl spat a curse into the wind. “Take the gun.”
For half a breath, you thought you had misheard him. “What!?”
“The gun,” he snapped, not looking at you, all of him bent into the next pull. “Take it from me. If they get close, ya shoot em.”
You stared at the dark shape of him, at the broad back and flexing shoulders and the wet gleam of effort where the lighthouse beam had just kissed him and gone. “I’m not exactly a good shot!”
“Do it anyway!”
“Daryl—”
“Do it!” That shut the argument down, not just because he was louder, but because there was something under the order that only ever came out when things were bad enough to strip everything else away: urgency, yes, but also trust so delusional it sounded almost genuine. He wasn’t asking because you were the best option - he was asking because you were the only one you had, and because somewhere beneath the panic and the pain and the freezing black water, he believed you would hit something.
You lunged forward as the boat pitched, one hand catching at his thigh to keep from going face-first into his lap, which would be a wet dream in any other circumstance. Your other hand scrambled across his belt in a blind, frantic search through leather and gear where you knew he kept his gun. Buckle. Knife sheath. Spare cartridges. The rough edge of his jacket. Something in his centre pocket. His hip jerked under your palm with each brutal pull of the oars. “Hurry the hell up,” he panted. "Ain't the time-"
“I’m trying, you twitchy bastard—”
Your fingers finally closed around the grip, yanking the gun free and nearly losing it when the hull rolled under you, the cold metal slick in your hand, your own breath coming too fast and too shallow. Behind you, the engine swelled again, closer now, ugly and insistent, and over the top of it came the men’s voices, ragged with adrenaline, shouting to one another more than to you, the sound of men who still believed they could reach out and grab back what had slipped from their hands. Daryl risked another glance over his shoulder, and whatever he saw made his next words come sharp enough to cut. “They’re gainin’. What’re you doin’?”
“Focusing!”
“Hurry up and focus faster!”
You turned in the seat as far as you dared, gun lifted in both hands, and forced yourself to stop trying to see the way sighted people meant seeing. The dark was no use to you like that, only smears and broken light and occasional flashes where Widow Light swept over the channel and made wet things momentarily shine. So you let that go. Let the useless, panicked part of your mind run itself ragged somewhere else — and you listened. The engine sat to your left rear, lower in tone than you would’ve liked, heavy and regular beneath the chop. Men were shifting their weight unevenly aboard it, one side carrying more load than the other. The hull slapped harder through the waves than your own, wider and faster and far too confident. The waterline along one side sounded louder where it cut in. There were three voices clearly, maybe four if the wind wasn’t lying to you, and the angle of the sound told you they were not merely following but trying to come up and across, to cut your path and take you broadside. There — not a picture exactly. More a map assembled out of vibration and the desperate precision that came when you had no time left to doubt yourself. “Now," Daryl barked.
You fired—the recoil kicking ugly through your wrists. The first shot vanished into dark and open water, useless as a prayer shouted into weather. The second struck wood with a flat, meaty thunk that came back to you over the engine roar, and the men behind it exploded into swearing. You adjusted, not by sight but by the way the engine’s growl bounced differently off water than hull; by the way the shouts shifted when somebody leaned or ducked, by instinct honed mean and strange through months of learning how to build a world from sound when sight refused to be trusted.
You fired again, and this time the impact came lower, followed by the wet slap and sucking rush of water suddenly entering a place it wasn't supposed to be. Another shot, another scream — this one ripped ragged and immediate — and the shouting changed pitch at once, rage turning to pain and then to that more dangerous thing; panic with nowhere to go. You took the next one almost on guess and nerve alone, aiming for where the motor’s throat seemed to sit in the dark, and when the round hit metal, the engine changed its voice so abruptly it was like hearing an animal choke. The smooth hard churn broke into an uneven sputter, caught, recovered, then stumbled again, labouring now under damage it didn't understand. “Oh, thank God,” you breathed.
Behind you, the rhythm of pursuit faltered. At first it was almost too slight to trust, just a hesitation in the noise, a fraction less speed under the engine’s note, but then came the rest of it in a rush: men shouting over one another in confusion instead of triumph, a clatter somewhere aboard, somebody cursing about water, somebody else yelling to kill the motor, no wait, don’t kill it, are you out of your mind, and beneath all of that the sickly, sputtering labour of machinery trying to outrun a bullet wound.
You turned toward Daryl with adrenaline fizzing ugly and bright through your veins. “Tell me that did something.” He looked back once, then again, chest heaving, arms still pulling hard at the oars despite what sounded like pure acid in his muscles, and let out a rough breath that might have been the nearest thing he had to amazement. “Yeah,” he said. “You definitely slowed ’em down.” Which, from Daryl, was practically a love poem recited at gunpoint.
The engine coughed again, men now shouting in earnest, one voice high and broken with real fear as the sea started climbing into a boat that had not been built to welcome holes in its belly, and ahead of you, somewhere beyond the black chop and the killing cold and the hard salt wind was St. Hale — one bitter old doctor on his rock — and even though Widow’s Hook had gone tits up for you, the dark in front of you felt almost merciful compared to the one you had left behind.
After a while, the panic behind you thinned into distance. The wind carried the faintest ragged scrap of shouting over the black water — but far enough now that the rowboat settled into a different rhythm. Not quite safety, but endurance. The kind that left room for cold to become noticeable again, for your wet eyes to sting from the frigid wind, for your hands to start aching where you’d gripped the gun too hard, and for the sea to resume being what it had always been all along: vast, indifferent, and deeply committed to making you feel small.
The dark had finished swallowing the horizon by now. Whatever light remained was thin and unreliable, a smudge here, a glimmer there when Widow Light made its slow pass somewhere behind you or some far-off lantern on the water trembled and vanished again. Mostly, there was nothing to see but gradients of black and the occasional white edge where a wave broke wrong. The wind had gotten meaner too, needling through seams, flattening your clothes to your skin one moment and trying to peel them off you the next, and worst of all, it kept shredding sound just enough to make the world feel farther away than it was. You hated that. You hated the way the sea took your hearing and stretched it, made everything harder to place. You hated the blind, open space of it, the depth you couldn't comprehend and didn't want to. You hated the little lurch of the boat under you every time a wave shouldered against the hull like the water was testing how serious you were about all this. So, naturally, you started talking.
“You know,” you said, drawing your knees up a little closer against the cold, “this would be a lot more romantic if one of us wasn’t actively committing maritime crimes.”
Daryl pulled through another stroke, shoulders working under his jacket. “You're an accomplice. And m'pretty sure the crime part’s what makes it romantic for you.”
“That’s true. You know me so well,” You smiled into the dark, and he just grunted back.
The oars creaked in their locks, the little boat rising and dipping in a rhythm your body had not consented to but was being forced to learn anyway. Daryl had settled into the labour of it with that particular stubbornness of his, all economy and strength and bad temper, and though you would never say this in a court of law, there was something annoyingly attractive about him hauling you both through black water like he’d personally taken offence to the Atlantic. You tilted your head and said, “You look hot doing that.”
“What? Ye can’t even see me.”
“Ok well I’m imagining it. All the rowing — very masculine. Very rugged. Very ‘I can totally get us killed before dawn but at least I’ll look sexy doing it.’”
“Shuddup. Keep yer imagination to yourself.”
“That was not a denial,” you sing-songed. God, he is so full of himself. “Tryna keep us movin’,” he chided, dragging the oars through another hard pull. “You wanna swap or sumthin’?” You heard in the breath he let out more than saw it — the corner of his mouth twitching when you quickly replied with 'nope, I’m all good, sailor.' Which was good, because the sound of him almost-laughing did more for your nerves than you wanted to admit. You hunched deeper into yourself against a vicious gust and said, “are we nearly there yet?.”
“Oh don’t start this shit.”
“What shit? Asking for a perimeter update?.”
“You always askin when we’re there! We’ll get there when we get there, alrigh’?”
“Daryl — that doesn’t make any sense!”
“Nah, what doesn’t make sense is why ya keep asking that same damn question every time we’re goin’ somewhere — when you know it pisses me off!”
“It’s not like I can make a keen observation! Oh hey, there’s a sign that says we’re 5 miles from st Hale, which I can’t see!” Silence. Whistling wind and crashing waves. He let that sit for a few seconds, then finally sighed, “We’re almost halfway."
You smiled and tucked your hands under your arms. The cold was finding its way through anyway, creeping into your fingers, your knees, the back of your neck, but the talking, hell, even yelling helped. It put edges back on the dark. Made the hour feel less like being swallowed and more like enduring something together, which was a very different thing. After a few minutes, you said, “Do you think maybe this is why women didn’t work boats.” Daryl gave you a look over his shoulder. Or you assumed he did — it’s just what you imagined he would do. “What?” He yelled over the growing wind.
“I’m serious,” you said. “Maybe they just didn’t have marriages like ours, babe. Maybe all they needed to survive one terrible little sea crossing was to have the kind of relationship where you can both be in mortal peril and still be having the same argument you started on land." He chuckled before he could stop it. “…think yer onto somethin' there.” "I mean, you need to really, really love somebody if you’re gonna sit in the dark with them while getting slapped in the face by salt."
"Must really love me then," he sighed, but there was no heat in it, just that tired, unwilling amusement he got when you’d annoyed him into a better mood against his will. “You’re cold,” he said after a moment, and you, ofcourse, responded with the usual bullshit. “Im fine,” you insisted.
“You’re shiverin’.”
“What d-do you know,” you managed, teeth chattering pathetically. He made a low, unimpressed sound and then, after one more pull, wedged the oars awkwardly enough to buy himself three seconds and shrugged out of one side of his jacket. You stared at the rustle of movement. “What are you doing?”
“Put this on.”
“No, then you’ll be cold. That's stupid”
He twisted enough to shove the jacket at you anyway. “Take it.”
“You need it.”
“I’m rowin’.”
“That is not how thermodynamics work.”
“Put the damn jacket on, woman.” You took it because truth was your teeth had started thinking about chipping, and you wanted to head that humiliation off at the pass. The jacket was damp with salt and warm where his body had held it, smelling like him, which turned out to be embarrassingly comforting when draped around your shoulders. You pulled it close and said, very dignified, “Thank you,” and he hummed in response. “You know,” you went on, because peace was never your strongest instinct, “if you keep taking care of me like this, people are gonna think ya like me.” This time the laugh came out of him rough and tired and impossible to mistake. “Gross."
You smiled into the collar of his jacket and let the sea slap uselessly at the boat for a little while. You smiled into the collar of his jacket and let the sea slap uselessly at the boat for a little while. The silence after that was easier — the kind built from years of sharing danger and meals and cramped beds and all the tiny nonsense in between. The oars dipped and rose; the hull rocked; the wind kept trying to get a rise out of you and mostly failed. Then, because the dark was still the dark and your brain hated being left alone in it too long, you said, “Hypothetically, if I fell overboard, and water was infested with sharks, would you come in after me or would you just yell what to do?”
“Actually saw a fin earlier but I wasn’t gonna say nothin’.”
“That’s not funny. Answer the question.”
“Wouldn’t let you fall overboard.”
“That was not the question.”
“Good. Question was dumb.”
“It’s a hypothetical!” you groaned. He sighed like you were a burden laid on him by God personally. “Duh. Course I’d come getcha.”
“Ha knew you would. You looove me.” A beat passed. Then: “...Wait would you really?”
He frowned. “What?”
“Come and get me.”
“Just said I would.”
“No, I know. I’m just enjoying hearing it-”
“Good lord would you just-”
“I’m scared alright,” you admitted,cutting him off so quickly and lightly it almost passed for a joke. “So I’m being annoying on purpose. If that wasn’t already obvious.” The next pull of the oars slowed just a little. Not enough to stop. Enough to tell you he’d heard the truth under it. “Yeah,” he said after a second. “I know.” You stared out into the dark that wasn’t really visible at all, just felt — wind and salt and too much nothing — and exhaled. “Sorry.” Why you were sorry you didn't know; you just were.
“Hey.” The word came low and brief. You turned toward him. He didn’t stop rowing, didn’t make a whole thing of it, didn’t ask you to confess to anything larger than you’d already handed him. He just said, with that maddening plainness of his, “it’s gonna work out.” And because it was Daryl, because he said things like that only when he meant them down to the bone, the fear eased down, no longer owning the whole boat. You pulled his jacket tighter around yourself and said, “Well. That’s good, because I have plans.” He snorted. “Yeah?”
“First, we find this Kessler dude, survive whatever fresh hell this island’s got waiting for us. Get me some working ogles, then go home.” You tilted your head, thinking. “Then maybe we never do water again unless it’s in a bath. With at least some groping.” He rowed on, shoulders flexing, face turned half away into the wind, and said, “Deal.”
The dark ahead had been one thing for so long — just more dark, more sea, more wind, more of that endless black shifting around the little stolen boat — that when St. Hale finally began to separate itself from it, the change was almost worse than if it had stayed invisible. You knew he saw it because something in him changed, some minute adjustment in the way he held himself over the oars, the way his attention narrowed and fixed. He pulled through two more strokes before saying, “Almost there.”
You turned your face toward the sound of him. “Almost there,” you repeated, deeply suspicious. “What does that mean?”
His breath rasped once through his nose. “It means we’re almost there — can see it.”
“That was not an answer.”
He rowed on, and when he spoke again his voice had gone flatter with concentration. “Maybe half a mile — give or take.”
You stared into the black nothing in front of you as if the island might have the decency to introduce itself properly. “So like a kilometre,” you said. “That is not almost there when one is surrounded by a vast, terrifying, ocean.”
The boat rose and dropped again. Cold spray hit your cheek. The wind knifed through the seams of Daryl’s jacket around your shoulders and stole half the air out of your mouth. You hugged yourself tighter, closed your eyes for a second and tried, very deliberately, to think of things that were not the black Atlantic under your ass. “Okay,” you muttered into the wind, more to yourself than to him. “Happy thoughts. I’m doing happy thoughts.” Daryl dragged the oars through another pull. “Uh-huh.”
“Our bed in Alexandria,” you said, as if reciting from scripture. “An actual bed – not the floor. With sheets that smell like home and not… whatever this is.”
“Try ‘the sea’,” he said. “Death,” you corrected. “A cold death. Anyway. My bed. Warm. Safe. Dry. Dog cuddles, Dog kisses, running with Dog, God I miss Dog. He's way better company.” That got the smallest breath of amusement out of him. You kept going because the alternative was thinking about the dark swallowing you whole. “Peanut butter, cereal, chocolate pudding, just food in general,” you said. “Coffee in the morning. Coffee in the afternoon. Coffee when Eugene starts talking. Hot baths. Fluffy socks. Afternoon sun and siestas. Dog again because he’s a big one. Carol pretending she doesn’t feed Dog scraps under the table.”
“Thought these were your happy thoughts, not just Dog.”
“He is one of my happy thoughts. Don’t be jealous – now shush, I’m trying to meditate.”
He snorted and you pulled his jacket tighter around yourself, closed your eyes again, and continued with great determination. “Okay. More. Hot showers. My books. Not dying. Sex with Daryl.”
There was a pause. Then, from somewhere behind the labor of rowing: “What?”
“You heard me.”
“Didn’t think I heard right.”
“Morning sex with Daryl,” you went on, eyes squeezing shut when the boat lurched up then forward over a big wave. “Late-night sex with Daryl. Midday sex with Daryl. Rainy day sex with Daryl. Make-up sex with Daryl. Very important category. Ok honestly, sex with you is carrying a lot of this list — what does that say about me?”
He couldn't help but laugh, and it almost broke his rhythm. “You’re a pervert.”
“I’m coping.”
“With sex.”
“With amazing sex,” you said. “Details matter.”
He shook his head, shoulders flexing under another pull. “Jesus.”
“I’m serious. It’s one of my favourite things.”
“Yeah, I got that.”
“Do you want to help?” you asked sweetly. “You can add your own happy thoughts.”
He rowed in silence for a beat too long, which meant he was considering it despite himself. Then, dry as driftwood, he muttered, “peace and quiet.”
You gasped. “That is so rude.”
“That’s my happy thought right now.” You ignored that with dignity. “Fine. I’ll do yours. Crossbow maintenance. Booding silence. Jerky. Me naked.” That one made him huff.
“Motorcycle parts,” you continued. “Me more naked. Cigarettes. Me in that one shirt you like.” He gave you a sharp look over his shoulder. “Ain’t a shirt.”
“It is technically a shirt.”
“It’s gettin' torched when we get back home.”
“Yet another item on the list of things that make you happy.” You smiled to yourself, leaned your head back, and kept reciting into the dark like a lunatic. “Warm baths. Clean blankets. Dry land. Not being chased by weird fishermen. Not being on the ocean. Me and you old and cranky — if we make it back from here — and still having inappropriate kitchen sex.” Daryl nearly lost the rhythm of the oars on that one. “Can you shut up for like five damn minutes?”
“No, because then I’d have to think about where we are.” It was then a gust of wind hit broadside, hard and vicious, spraying your face with salt and rocking the boat enough to make your stomach turn over. You stopped dead, the list derailing in your head all at once. Warm baths. Warm water. Cold water. Open water. Dark, open cold water. FUCK.“Ah,” you said faintly. “No, see, that one was a trap.” Daryl glanced back. “What?”
“I accidentally thought about water.”
“We are in water.”
“Yes, and I would really appreciate if I could stopped being reminded about that.” You shut your eyes hard for a second and opened them again to the same useless dark. “Please tell me we’re talking twenty minutes, tops, because I am beginning to lose my fucking mind a little.”
Daryl pulled another stroke, harder this time because the nearer they got the nastier the water seemed to become, the current tugging wrong under the hull. “Less than that.”
“That didn’t sound confident.” He grunted, "it wasn't."
“Great. Super. Love that.” You swallowed against the sour twist rising in your stomach. “I think I’m either going to panic or throw up. Possibly both if I really apply myself.”
“What is it with you an’ throwin’ up recently.” That should not have been as funny as it was, and yet a weak laugh escaped you anyway, ripped to shreds by the wind the second it left your mouth. But then the night cracked open.
The shot came so suddenly your brain didn't understand it at first as a shot at all, only a violent split in the air and a hard slap somewhere off the side of the boat, followed by Daryl dropping flat with a curse so immediate and furious it dragged meaning into the sound a fraction of a second later. “Down!”
You obeyed before your mind caught up, folding hard over yourself as another shot cracked over the water. Something hit close enough to spit cold spray across your face. “What the fuck—”
“Island,” Daryl snapped. “Somebody’s shootin’!”
As if to prove the point, another round tore past with that hideous insect-fast sound bullets had when they passed too near human flesh to be mistaken for anything else. The water all around you was suddenly alive with impacts — sharp smacks, little explosive spits where lead struck black surface and ricocheted or died in it. The sea, which had been horrible enough a second ago, now seemed intent on throwing the bullets back up at you in shattered spray. You ducked lower, breath locked in your throat. “Are you hit?” you shouted. “No— you?”
“No!” Another shot. Then another — this one punching through wood. The sound of it was sickeningly intimate, not the wide slap of water but the hard splintering bite of your little boat being made less of a boat in real time. A thin, awful gurgle followed from somewhere near your boots. Daryl risked lifting his head just enough to look and immediately dropped again as another round tore over you both. “He’s hittin’ the hull.”
Water was already seeping in. At first it was only cold around the soles of your boots, then colder, then moving, sloshing in nervous little washes with every pitch of the boat. The hull rocked again, lower this time, and fresh panic ripped through you so fast it was almost bright.“Daryl—”
“I know.” Bullets kept coming, not wild exactly, which was somehow worse. Whoever was shooting from St. Hale knew enough to aim low, knew enough to understand that he did not need to hit you clean if he could simply turn the boat into a problem the sea would finish for him. A shot struck close enough to your right that wood spat against your hand. You flinched hard and heard Daryl suck in a breath through his teeth, sharp and involuntary. “What was that?”
“Nothin’.” That was a lie and you both knew it. The smell hit a second later — blood, thin but unmistakable, sharp even through salt and wet wood and your own fear. “You can’t lie to me, dumbass. I know you’re hit!”
“It’s just a graze!” His voice was already moving past it, brutal with focus. “Arm.”
Another bullet punched through somewhere behind you and the boat lurched sickeningly as more water rushed in through holes it had no right to have. Daryl made the decision in the same instant you understood what it was. “Alright,” he said, breathless now, rage and urgency grinding together in his voice. “We’re exposed, and we’re sinkin’. We gotta swim for it.”
You froze. Your blood ran cold as your throat closed up. It felt like you were staring death in the face, and you weren’t even submerged yet. “No. Nuh huh. Nope.”
He threw the oars aside and lunged for you, both hands coming up to frame your face so fast and hard it shocked you still. His palms were freezing, wet, smelling of salt and wood and blood. “Please no, there’s gotta be another way, please don’t make me—“
“Baby, I know. I know! But we don’t got a choice alrigh”.”
Another shot cracked over your head. The boat dropped lower. The water around your boots was no longer seeping. It was submerging.
You made a sound — not a word, just refusal with nowhere to go — and he pressed his forehead to yours for one split second, enough to pin you in the moment with him.
“I’m right here, alrigh’ I’m gon’ be with you the whole time,” he said, grabbing your hand. “You hear me? You don’t let go and we stay together.” And with that he hauled you over the side with him before you had the chance to freak out more.
The cold hit like violence. Just as you remembered. Force first; the sea taking hold of every inch of you at once and yanking hard, shoving up your nose, into your ears, down your collar, tearing the breath out of you before panic even got a turn. Black water swallowed you whole. There was no sky, no island, no boat, no world, only freezing and pressure and that old ancient terror of not knowing where anything was except wrong.
Daryl’s hand nearly wrenched your shoulder from its socket, and thank God for that, because it meant direction. It meant him. You kicked blindly toward the pull of him, lungs locking, clothes dragging like dead weight. Then his grip shifted and the shape of the boat changed above you. Not gone; turned — he had flipped it.
You came up under the belly of it together in a burst of choking air and cold, heads bobbing in water so black it might as well have been ink, the overturned hull above your heads trapping a pocket of air that smelled of wet wood, rot, and the raw animal panic of your breathing. You clung to him before dignity got a vote. The little world under the boat was all echo and close dark and the insane thunder of your pulse. The freezing water lapped at your ribs, your waist, rising and falling in cramped, nauseating little surges, and every sound outside reached you distorted — gunshots no longer cracks but strange, blunted concussions through wood and sea, distant and warped, as if the water itself was swallowing the violence before it reached you.
You gasped and coughed and shook so hard your teeth knocked once. Daryl caught the back of your neck with one hand, the other braced somewhere against the underside of the hull to steady both of you. “Hey - you with me?” You nodded too fast, then realised he probably couldn’t see that in the dark and croaked, “Uh huh.”
His breath was coming hard too, rougher than he’d want, and when he shifted you felt the warmth of his blood mixing faintly with the freezing water around you.
Outside, the shooting had changed. Not stopped —but changed it’s target.
The rhythm of it was wrong now, the shots no longer punching directly at the boat but angling elsewhere, farther off, followed by something that sounded like shouting from the shore and then another voice answering from a different position entirely.
Even beneath the hull, with the sea booming softly all around you and the cold trying to turn your bones to wire, you could hear it: whoever had been shooting at you was shooting at something else now. And for one suspended, impossible moment beneath the overturned boat, with the freezing dark pressing at every side and Daryl’s hand locked hard around yours, that was almost worse than the bullets.
The two of you were wading with the waves towards what was hoplefully the islands beach, but at that point your brain was on a sabbatical. The sea did not get kinder just because the boat was upside down. You and Daryl moved under it in fits and desperate little surges, the overturned hull turning the distant gunshots into muffled echos which you couldnt pinpoint It did absolutely nothing about the water itself — the cold of it, the drag of it, the way each wave shouldered in and sloshed around your ribs and chest and made the trapped air pocket shudder overhead like the whole rotten thing might decide to roll again and be done with both of you. You were breathing too fast. You knew you were breathing too fast, and knowing it didn't help in the slightest. Every time the water rose up against your throat, your body remembered the lake — not in clean, tidy images, but in instinct, in the blind animal certainty that too much water meant no up, no down, no air, no world except cold. Your fingers had locked onto Daryl so hard they ached, one hand in his shirt, the other clamped around his wrist like if you let go for even a second you might simply be absorbed into the Atlantic and never found.
“Hey,” he said, close enough that the word brushed your cheek before it reached your ear, his voice strange and hollow under the boat, all the edges of it warped by wood and water. “Just focus on me.”
Another wave shoved under the hull, and you made a horrible little sound, more anger than fear if anyone asked later. “I gotcha," he reminded.
“I hate this. I hate this so much.”
“I know.”
“No, I mean I really, genuinely, profoundly—”
“I know,” he said again, firmer this time, one hand sliding to the back of your neck, thumb rough and grounding there despite the freezing water. “Listen ta me. We’re covered. We’re movin’. You’re with me. Ya ain’t under. You hear? Say it.”
You swallowed hard. “I'm not under,” you got out. “Good. Keep breathin’. Nice n slow.”
“That feels condescending, given the situation.”
A laugh almost escaped him, or maybe a cough; under the boat it was hard to tell. “You wanna panic faster, be my guest.”
You could feel him shifting, treading, keeping one hand on the hull and one on you. The waves were still coming in ugly little lifts, knocking your knees and elbows into each other, making the boat bump and shudder above your heads, but at least the hull took the wind off. No bullets close now. No open night sky. Just the small, wet, awful cave of this one trapped pocket and Daryl’s voice in it. “Talk to me,” he said. That was a rare request. “What about?” For once, you couldn't think of anything to say.
“Don’t care,” he said. You nearly told him there was nothing in the world less interesting than your thoughts right now, but that would have required having better thoughts than cold cold cold holy shit cold water and, unfortunately, you did not. So you opened your mouth to say something flippant, something about dry land or central heating or how much you intended to sue the Atlantic personally when this was over, and instead, with all grace and timing abandoned somewhere back in Widow’s Hook, if you had any to begin with, you blurted, “I think I might be pregnant.”
Daryl’s grip on you tightened so hard it almost hurt. For one beat he said nothing at all, and under the boat, the dark seemed to pull in tighter, the freezing water lapping at your ribs while the whole stupid world held its breath. Then, “that ain’t funny.”
“I’m not joking.” That got his full attention in a way even the bullets hadn’t. You felt him turn toward you in the cramped dark, could feel the change in his breathing, the way all of him suddenly sharpened around the words like they had cut him open. Your own pulse was going haywire now, your body shaking so hard from cold and panic and adrenaline that you couldn’t stop it if you tried.
“I’m serious,” you said again, and once it was out there was no calling it back, so the rest came tumbling after it in one messy rush, too fast and too breathless and stripped of dignity to sound like anything but truth. “All the nausea and the headaches and I can’t remember the last time I got my period and I know that doesn’t mean anything for sure, I know it could be nothing, it’s just been at the back of my mind and I kept not saying it because it sounded stupid and I didn’t want to—”
“You tell me this now?” he hissed. There was a touch of anger in it, which made it so much worse. He was somehow managing to stay level-headed through all the chaos over the last hour, and thanks to you, he was pushed over the edge. He was staring in total, stunned, slightly furious disbelief while simultaneously trying to rank the ten new disasters he'd been handed in his head. “I know,” you said, voice pitching higher with panic. “I know, I’m sorry, I just— I’m really freaking out right now and it came out—”
Another wave shoved under the hull and slapped cold against your chest. You made a sound and clutched harder at him. Daryl’s hand came up to rub your back once, grounding by instinct even while the rest of him had clearly gone into a full internal tailspin. He swore under his breath, not at you, not even really at the situation — just into it, because there was nowhere else for it to go. Then he said, low and rough and trying very hard to keep his mind on the order things needed doing, “We’ll talk ’bout this once we deal with the asshole shootin’ at us.”
You thought it would be best for you to shut up now. In your defence, he didn't specify what to talk about, but best not poke the bear. You could feel him thinking, too fast, too hard, the news already tearing through him in a dozen directions at once, even as he kept his body steady and close and practical. You knew him well enough to know what that silence meant. He was cataloguing everything backwards now — the throwing up, the headaches, the way you’d looked rougher on the road, every strange little symptom he hadn’t pushed hard enough on because there had always been something more immediate to survive first. And because he was Daryl, because his mind would always run to the worst place before it let itself come back, you knew there was fear moving under all of that too. “I’m sorry,” you said again, smaller now.
“Don’t,” he muttered. “Just— don’t.” You couldn't fault him for being blunt; it was the best he had while there was still an unpredictable forecast of bullet showers and the sea still trying to drag you under.
Then his body changed against yours. “Hey,” he said, all business again, voice tightening. “Bottom’s comin’ up.” For a second, you didn't understand what he meant. And suddenly there was no room left for panic except the kind that moved your legs forward. It wasn’t the sand itself, but the change in movement. The sea still pulled, still shoved, still wanted you cold and scared and obedient, but there was less depth in the push now, less endlessness under your dangling legs. Daryl shifted again, angled the hull a little, and the next time a wave rolled through, your boots scraped something solid. You yelped. Not because it hurt, but because it existed – it wasn’t just pure manifestation snobbery. The sound that left you then was so relieved it bordered on hysterical. “Told ya,” Daryl said
“You did not tell me there was ground.”
“I implied it was,” he huffed, and you could have kissed him for the sarcasm alone.
The next wave hit, and your feet found it again, better this time — stones, slick and uneven under the water, real enough to stand on in the spaces between surges, real enough that the panic loosening inside your chest all at once almost made your knees go out. Daryl felt that too. “Easy,” he murmured. “Ain’t done yet.”
The boat had to go. The second both of you knew you could stand, even badly, the little shelter of the overturned hull became less a blessing and more a trap. Daryl’s hand left yours long enough to steady the boat for one more second while he listened, head tipped, gauging the gunfire outside. It had changed again. No longer a steady shower. Bursts. Gaps. Shouting somewhere farther upshore. He breathed out. “Now.” You ducked out from under the hull together, and the wind hit you like an open hand.
The island rose ahead as a darker black against the black sky, all jagged rock and broken outlines, with somewhere above that the suggestion of walls or towers or old stone shouldering into the weather. The water between you and shore was shallower now, waist-deep and angry, waves smashing themselves to white around a narrow strip of rock and shingle. Daryl took your hand again, and you lurched after him, half swimming, half stumbling, both of you bent low as if the dark alone could keep bullets off you. The sea fought for every step. It dragged at your clothes, shoved sideways at your knees, slapped your thighs with water so cold it felt sentient. Daryl hauled you through it like he hated it personally, breath harsh, one arm doing double the work because the other had been grazed and was starting to stiffen, whether he admitted it or not.
“Can you see anything?” you shouted over the wind. “Not much,” he shouted back. “Rocks. Wall maybe. Somethin’ higher up. Dock’s smashed up.” Very helpful. Very not. But your hearing had something now that mattered more than sight.
At first it was only struggle, so tangled in the wind and the sea you almost missed it — a scrape of shoes or boots skidding over wet stone, something heavy falling, a human breath dragged in too fast and let out as a curse. Then, under it, the sound that froze your spine for a completely different reason. Walkers.
And not the inland moaning drag you were used to either. These were wet-throated, broken things, their voices ruined by salt and rot, all gurgle and suckling breath. And threaded through that, one man fighting for his life. You stopped dead, with Daryl nearly dragging you another step before he realised. “What?”
“There,” you said, turning your head hard into the dark. “Someone’s in trouble. Up ahead. Left a little.” He trusted you immediately. No pause. No ya sure? Just a change in direction and a muttered, “Go.”
Despite the freezing water and your screaming muscles and the fact that your body still had not forgiven the Atlantic for existing, you ran. Or what counted as running in thigh-deep surf over rocks slick as eels. You splashed and stumbled and recovered and splashed again, Daryl close enough that every time you slipped, his grip yanked you upright before the sea could take advantage of it. The sounds got louder fast — the walkers’ ruined moans, the skid of desperate feet on stone, one more gunshot too close and then none. “Five,” Daryl said, sudden and sharp. “Maybe six— no. Five standin’. The shoreline under your boots turned from shingle to jagged rock, the water pulling away just enough that you were climbing more than wading now. Another wave crashed around your knees and dropped back hissing. Somewhere ahead, a man shouted something hoarse and furious that you couldn’t make out over the surf.
Then Daryl let go of your hand, the sound of his knife leaving its sheath was quick and intimate as breath. What came next was fast and brutal and almost easy. You couldn't see it properly, only caught pieces — the wet crunch of a blade finding home, a body hitting stone, the ugly barnacled rattle of walkers too damaged by sea to move right but still moving anyway. Daryl tore through them like someone who had quite frankly had enough of this night before it had even started. The graze to his arm might as well not have existed for all the attention he paid it. One went down with a hard splash. Another with the crack of skull against rock. A third gave a horrible bubbling hiss and then nothing. By the time you had found your own knife and a safe angle that did not involve accidentally stabbing your husband, he had finished the last two and was breathing hard over a shoreline suddenly full of literal dead weight. The smell hit then — salt and rot and old seaweed and the opened-up stink of bodies that had not belonged in the water as long as they had been in it. Even without seeing them clearly, you could feel the wrongness of them. When one wave washed over their legs, you heard shells knock softly against stone where barnacles clung to what had once been skin.
You swallowed against nausea and turned toward the breathing. The survivor was somewhere ahead and a little above you, panting hard enough to whistle. You picked your way toward the sound over slick black rock, every inch of you shivering now that movement had stopped pretending to keep you warm. “You need a hand?” you called.
There was a startled scramble, the slap of boots losing purchase, and then an undignified thud as the man fell flat on his ass. “Okay, maybe not phrased ideally...”
You crouched enough to reach out, but he reacted as if you had pulled a snake on him. He staggered backward over the rocks instead, slipping once more, catching himself on some higher ledge with a curse that sounded educated and filthy in equal measure. “Uhh are you… hurt? Bit? Daryl is he—?”
“How many times,” he snapped, breathless and shaking with fury, “do I have to tell you sorry sons of bitches to leave me the hell al— He stopped. Not because Daryl had just stepped up — because he had heard you. Or maybe because he had finally actually looked and realised that whatever he had expected to come crashing over his rocks, it had not been a woman, soaked to the skin, half-feral with cold, standing beside a dripping hillbilly and a pile of sea-rotted dead. The silence that followed was only a second long, but it was a full, astonished second. Then he said, with the kind of disbelief only a profoundly lonely man could bring to the occasion, “Sweet Christ.” Daryl moved half a step in front of you. “You Kessler?"
The man looked between the two of you, chest still heaving, one hand braced against the rock behind him as if his body had not quite gotten the memo that the immediate danger was over. He was older than you’d imagined and somehow more dramatic for it, all angles and weather and neglect. He was a mess of a man — coat hanging open over a sweater that might once have been military issue and was now mostly whiskey and salt, hair blown wild around a face gone sharp with age and solitude, beard half-kept and half-abandoned, eyes quick and pale in whatever little light there was, too alive for a man who had supposedly been rotting on a rock alone for years. He stared at Daryl. Then at you. Then back at Daryl again. “How,” he said slowly, suspiciously, and with a voice roughened by both alcohol and too much disuse, “do you know me?”
——————
Kessler’s kitchen looked like the rest of St. Hale; desolate yet bullied into functioning anyway. The room had probably once been some sort of service galley for the older fort, then a utility kitchen for the later medical annex, and now it sat in the middle of all those former lives wearing them badly. Steel counters gone dull with use; open shelving crowded with tins, jars, bundles of dried herbs hanging upside down beside coiled wire and spare bulbs, as if he’d stopped distinguishing between food and hardware years ago. A kettle hissed on an old iron stove that had no business still working and yet clearly did. A bank of cupboards lined one wall, some military green, some household cream, none matching. There were stacks of books where books had no place being, old medical texts swollen with damp, ledgers, maintenance manuals, and at least three bottles of whisky and rum in varying states of emptiness sharing space with tea tins and a jar of screws.
It smelled like hot metal, iodine, damp stone, old paper, gun oil, and the faint medicinal ghost of alcohol wipes. Under that sat the richer smell of something stewed hours ago and forgotten, and under that, barely, the stale lonely smell of a place one man had lived in too long without anyone else to make him be ashamed of it. Kessler shoved the door shut behind you with his boot, muttered something filthy at the lock until it caught properly, then stalked straight to the stove without bothering to see whether the two of you had followed. Which, of course, you had. Daryl walked into the room like he was conducting a risk assessment, dripping seawater onto the stone and tracking everything with his eyes in one sweep — doors, windows, knives, exits, the doctor’s gun, the cut of the counters, where you could be hidden, where you could be trapped.
The tea Kessler eventually shoved toward you tasted like boiled nails, but the mug was hot enough to hurt your palms and for a moment that was all that mattered. You sat at the table because your legs had begun to feel like jelly, and let the heat seep into your fingers while Daryl stayed on his feet at your shoulder, one hand planted on the back of your chair like he didn’t entirely trust you not to slide off it.
Kessler threw two blankets at you without looking — not handed. Threw. One hit your shoulder. The other slid half off your lap before Daryl caught it and wrapped both around you with rough hands, muttering, “Your teeth’re gettin’ on my nerves.” You smiled faintly into the ugly wool, and Kessler grumbled, “how romantic,” like it was an insult. Kessler poured something stronger than tea into his own mug, drank it in one go, and finally turned to look at the two of you as if properly seeing you for the first time had only just become worth the effort. “Well?” he said. “Explain yourselves.”
The question from the rocks had made it all the way in with you. You took a sip of the awful tea, winced through it, and answered before Daryl had to. “Uhh well – it was a friend of ours who found you,” you said. Kessler’s eyebrows lifted; “not literally,” you amended. “That would’ve saved us some trouble. He found bits of records. Mentions of St. Hale in old federal storage indexes, personnel references, procurement logs — things like that. He has a real gift for making other people’s filing mistakes feel prophetic.”
Kessler made a low sound in his throat that was not quite disbelief. You kept going, because once you started explaining this it was impossible not to hear how absurd it all sounded. “I was injured. Chemical exposure. Bad - like blinding bad. There were… attempts after. Treatments. Some were a waste of time. Some almost worked. We got partial recovery, but not enough. We found a cryostorage facility up north and thought we might be onto something bigger, but that didn’t pan out the way we hoped, and Eugene kept digging. Eventually, he found enough references to an ophthalmic trauma unit on an island off Baltimore.”You tucked your hands tighter around the mug, soaking in the heat. “So, here we are.” Kessler stood very still while you talked. Not kindly still. Not welcoming. But with the sort of rigid attention that betrayed old professional habits beneath all the whiskey and hostility. He was listening in spite of himself — that much you could tell. Daryl, apparently bored of waiting for him to admit that, cut in. “So what the hell happened to this place?” Kessler’s mouth thinned. “Direct,” he said. “Should try it sometime,” Daryl answered.
For a second you thought Kessler might tell him to go to hell on principle. Then he leaned back against the counter instead, crossing his arms with loose carelessness, as if trying to disguise his lassitude. “What happened,” he said, “is exactly what happens to every clever little government nest once the men with the budgets and badges stop existing. St. Hale was never important enough to save and too useful to abandon properly, which left it to men like me.” He gave a tiny one-shouldered shrug. “It was a signal station before any of the medical nonsense. Naval watchpoint for a while after. Then some bright bureaucratic creature decided that an isolated coastal fort with existing infrastructure and no civilian oversight would make an excellent place to tuck away ocular trauma research, chemical exposure cases, low-light injury studies, flash burns, retinal salvage, cryopreservation, all the things the military preferred to keep out of the newspapers.” He said it dryly, but there was pride under it, unmistakable and unwilling to die. “We had generators, supply drops, controlled cold rooms, field theaters, enough equipment to make Baltimore General look provincial. Then the world ended, the supply chain went feral, and every useful man either died or fled.”
“And you stayed,” you said. Jesus it was like CDC all over again, you thought. He gave you a look over the rim of his mug. “Clearly.”
Daryl’s hand tightened once on the back of your chair. “Why?” Kessler glanced around his kitchen as if the answer were laid out there in the mismatched cupboards and the rusty stove. “Because it was stocked, defensible, and mine by virtue of everyone else being too dead to argue.” You took another sip of tea and regretted it again. “That is an alarmingly honest answer.”
“It saves time,” Kessler put simply. Daryl tipped his head toward the lower levels somewhere beyond the kitchen wall. “And the Hook men?”
At that, something in Kessler’s face changed. Not dramatically. Just enough to make him look less like a difficult old man and more like a difficult old man who had spent years carefully feeding a grudge until it turned into a whole new vice. “The Hook men,” he said, “are opportunistic, superstitious, thieving barnacles who’d strip the wiring from the walls and call it stewardship if I let them on the island for more than ten minutes.”
“That feeling seems mutual,” you said.
“As it should,” Kessler spat. “And as for your impediment miss, I’m afraid you have made this whole trip for nothing.”
You blinked. “Uhh, come again – this time in my ear.”
“I’m retired,” he said, tapping it with one finger before reaching for the bottle again. The room went still around that. Daryl stared at him. “Well, un-retire.” Kessler snorted whisky into his own mustache. “Excellent. Why didn’t I think of that?”
“I ain’t jokin.”
“Oh, I know you’re not,” Kessler said. “That’s what makes you exhausting. I’m retired, Mr.—”
“Dixon.”
“Mr. Dixon. I do not have staff, sterile support, replacement stock, proper anesthesia, reliable power in all wings, or any professional obligation to resurrect a career because two damp lunatics crawled out of the sea.”
Daryl’s expression darkened by degrees. “You’d be dead if it wasn’t for us.” Kessler considered that and shrugged. “I gave you tea and blankets, didn’t I? I’d say we’re all behaving beautifully.” You stared at him over your mug. “Ah. Okay. Good to know. Come on, honey, let’s leave the nice retired man to his… whatever all this is. We’ll just take the boat we don’t have.” The boat you previously had was, of course, at the bottom of the channel. Kessler lifted his shoulders. “Swim back, for all I care.”
Daryl barked out one short, disbelieving laugh. “The fuck— You really gon make a blind woman swim five miles back cause ya don’t like company?”He sounded one step from pitching the nearest object through the nearest wall. The guilt tripping clearly didnt work because Kessler just shrugged again like his answer was obvious. And because you were tired, cold, furious, and absolutely unwilling to let this old bastard have the last word in his own kitchen, you looked at Kessler and said, “Hey. So you’ve been living out here, alone, for over a decade. How the hell are you so useless with walkers?”
He stared at you for a long moment over the rim of his mug, then lowered it very carefully and said, “I beg your pardon?”
“You heard me,” you said, setting the mug down with a soft clink. “You nearly got chewed on by five sea-rotted corpses on your own front yard. Which is embarrassing enough on its own, but a little extra embarrassing given the fortress, the gun, the dramatic entrance, and the general amount of arrogance you’ve brought to this conversation.” Kessler’s eyes flicked once to Daryl, as if checking whether you were always like this. Daryl, unhelpfully, said, “She’s got a point.” That seemed to pain him more than the walkers had. “I’ve not had to concern myself overmuch with them.”
“You don’t say,” you snickered. “Tonight,” he said, with a stiffness that made the answer more revealing than any confession, “was unusual.”
“How unusual?” Daryl asked.
Kessler did not answer right away. He poured more whisky instead, took too much of it, and set the bottle down with more force than was strictly required. “To start — two strangers showing up is pretty unusual. The rotters, well, they’ve been washing up more,” he said at last. “At first one every week or so. Then every few days. Now…” He made a vague, irritated gesture toward the exterior of the island, as if the entire shoreline had personally betrayed him. “Now every damned tide seems to bring me another corpse with seaweed for a wig.”
That sobered the room in a hurry. You exchanged a look with Daryl, or at least you aimed in his direction. “Washed up from where?” you asked. Kessler laughed without humor. “If I knew that, I’d have solved it already.”
“The Hook?” Daryl suggested; Kessler’s expression turned vicious. “The Hook,” he said, “has reason enough.” There was more in that than suspicion. You heard it —Daryl too. The doctor saw that you noticed it and, being too tired or too drunk or too lonely to back away from it now, kept going. “They want the island,” he said. “They’ve wanted the island for years. Not because they understand it. Not because they’d use it properly. Because it’s mine and because I’ve kept it from them.”
“Why?” you asked and he barked a laugh. “Why do they want anything? Stores. Power. Walls. Fresh water. The fantasy of order. Pick one.”
“No,” Daryl said, voice flattening. “Why keep it from ’em.”
Kessler looked at the stove instead of at either of you. “Because I know them.” He swallowed once, hard enough to hear, and set the mug down. “There are things they’ve done,” he said, and the words came measured now, each one bitten off clean as if he had spent years not saying them out loud and found the taste disgusting. “Things they call necessity. Things they call weather. Things they call grief, because grief is a useful coat for ugly behavior if you wear it long enough.” He lifted one shoulder. “I am not a moral man, Mrs. Dixon. I am not even, on most days, a particularly pleasant one. But I know what they are when they stop pretending.”
The room had gone very still. The island was bigger than it had looked from the sea. Not just stone and old medicine and one paranoid drunk. It was history. Feud. Attrition. Men hardening into doctrines because there had been no one left to soften against. Suddenly your little private mission didn’t feel so private anymore. Sitting here in Kessler’s kitchen with salt drying on your skin and the walls of St. Hale around you, it widened all at once into something messier, bigger than the two of you. A siege waiting to happen. A man on an island too stubborn to die and a harbour full of men too greedy to let him keep what was his. Whatever this place had become, it had been rotting toward it for years before you ever set foot on the shore.
You wrapped Daryl’s jacket tighter around yourself, pulling the damp wool closer under your chin, and said, carefully, “If they want the island that badly, why haven’t they just taken it?” Kessler gave you a deeply sour look over the rim of his mug, as if you had asked why gulls screamed or why men were thick. “Because I shoot better than they do,” he said, “and because, until recently, I haven’t had much trouble from the dead.”
“There’s that recently again,” Daryl grumbled. You shifted in the chair, every muscle in your body objecting to life, and said, “So either the walkers are washing in naturally, which is bad, or someone’s pushing them this direction, which is worse.” Kessler spread one hand at you in a little flourish of bitter mock congratulations, all but saying well done, you’ve nearly caught up. You looked at the hand, then at him. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“That gesture. It’s very smug for a man who was five seconds from being eaten on his own lawn.” The laugh that came out of him then was real enough to startle the room.
Not big or warm. Just sharp and sudden and dragged up from somewhere that had not been used in too long. It lasted a beat longer than it should have, enough that it tipped from normal into strange, and when it stopped you found yourself watching him, caught on the weirdness of hearing something so human come out of him. He realised that you noticed, and the corner of his mouth twitched. “My wife used to say things like that,” he said. The room went still in a much quieter way than before. You didn’t ask where she was because you didn’t have to — she wasn’t here. He hadn't said my wife says. He hadn't said back home or when she was here. Just that one brittle little past tense, laid down and left there. Daryl felt it too; you could tell by the way his hand tightened once on the back of your chair and then loosened again.
Kessler stared into his mug as if the answer might be sitting at the bottom with the whisky stains. “She had a real gift,” he said, voice gone dry again, “for making my worst moments sound reasonable in hindsight.”
You tilted your head. “Sounds charming,” you said, and his mouth twitched again.
That was enough of that. Not because you lacked curiosity but because you could tell from the way he held himself that if you pushed there too soon, you’d get the emotional equivalent of buckshot. So you leaned back instead, ignored the way your body begged for sleep and warmth and basically anything but this shitty tea, and said, “Okay.”
Daryl glanced down at you. “Okay?” You looked up at Kessler. “You help us,” you said, “and we help you.” He blinked at you. Not confused exactly. More like a man who had spent too long alone and was no longer entirely convinced other people still behaved in ways that made sense. “I beg your pardon?”
“We fight your fight,” you said. “Walkers. Hook fishermen. Whatever fresh nightmare is washing up on your beach. We help defend the island, and in return, you take a serious look at me. Properly. No retirement speech, no lonely old man pity fest, no pretending this is all too inconvenient for you. You give it your best shot.” Kessler stared at you as if you had started barking. Daryl folded his arms. “She means it.”
“Oh, I know she means it.” He rubbed a hand once over his mouth, still watching you.
“You need hands,” you said. “You got cornered by a pack of ugly face-eating mermaids on your own turf, man.” He looked offended by the accuracy of that. “With your luck, I’d say you’ll be dead within a week,” Daryl added.
Kessler’s eyes snapped to the graze on Daryl’s arm, then away again with immediate irritation at himself for having done so. Old habits, there and gone. Doctor before hermit, no matter how hard he tried otherwise. “I’ve been fine by myself for a while now, havent i?” he snapped. “I do not need mercenaries.”
“No,” you replied, tucking your feet up under the chair a little deeper into the blanket. “You need allies. Which, admittedly, is much worse.”
That got him again. Not a full laugh this time. Just the briefest crack at the corner of his mouth before he bullied it flat. “And if I say no?” he asked.
You glanced toward the walls of St. Hale, toward the unseen beach where the walkers had come up and where more, if the tide felt particularly vindictive, might already be dragging themselves ashore in the dark. “Then I suppose we all sit here and wait for your tropical island to become colonised by the dead - or by those assholes back at The Hook. It’s kinda a 50/50 toss up.”
That one landed hard enough to hollow the air out for a second. Daryl stepped in before Kessler could do what he’d been doing all evening, which was try to turn every point back into argument and hide in it. “You said yourself they want this place,” he said. “You said the dead’re gettin’ worse. We can help with both. But you help her.”
Kessler looked at him for a long while, and then, annoyingly, looked back at you instead. You had the distinct impression that whatever he was deciding was not really about Daryl at all. It was about you in this kitchen, drenched and shivering and still talking back to him like you’d known him years instead of minutes. You made him remember, against his better judgment, that he could still be looked in the eye and called a useless old bastard, not just be hated and feared from afar. And maybe — though you wouldn’t know this for sure yet — it was about guilt too. About a woman he had once failed by staying put when he should have gone looking, by choosing defensible walls over impossible hope, and the way that sort of decision never really stopped happening inside a person, no matter how many years they buried it under work and drink and solitude. “You don’t even know what’s wrong with her,” he said at last.
“No,” Daryl replied. “That’s your part.” Another silence followed, but this one was different. Less resistance now. More arithmetic.
You could practically hear it happen in Kessler’s noggin: the doctor in him warring with the hermit, the professional with the drunk, the man who wanted everyone out with the man who had spent a lifetime measuring damage and deciding what could still be salvaged if he got there in time. He exhaled through his nose, disgusted on principle. “If I agree to assess,” he said, holding the word there with enough emphasis to make sure you understood he was not yet promising anything, “not promise, assess, and if I conclude there is anything to be done — anything at all — then I decide the terms.”
“Fine.”
“You do not interrupt me while I work.” Daryl opened his mouth to argue; without looking away from Kessler, you reached back and thumped Daryl’s thigh. “Fine.”
“You do exactly what I say in medical matters, even when I am rude.”
“You’re rude now? What happened to bedside manners?”
“Feel free to complain to the wall,” he said.
You smiled into the blanket. “Still fine.” That got the laugh again — smaller this time, but no less strange for how little practice there was in it. He seemed almost irritated by it himself, by the way it escaped him and lingered too long in the room. He glared at both of you then, as if your willingness was somehow offensive. Then, with all the grace of a man signing away both his peace and his pride in the same motion, Kessler, now doctor, said, “Then God help me, I suppose I’ve un-retired."
Kessler snatched up a lantern from the counter, checked the wick with two irritated fingers, and jerked his chin toward a narrow door half-hidden behind a bank of old cabinets. “Come on, then,” he said. “Before I remember I don’t actually want company”
“Too late,” you muttered into your tea. That won you the smallest twitch at one corner of his mouth, though whether it was amusement or the beginning of a stroke remained unclear. The room beyond the kitchen had once very obviously been an exam room and had never quite stopped being one, no matter what the years had put it through. The air was cooler in here, touched with dust and antiseptic and cold metal, and it carried that stale, silencing smell of spaces kept functional long after they’d stopped being lived in.
The walls were painted in some old institutional green that had gone foxed and uneven in the damp. A narrow examination chair sat in the middle of the room, not quite dentist, not quite surgical, with its cracked leather split at one arm and mended with strips of careful tape. Steel cabinets lined one wall, their glass fronts fogged with age and salt bloom, behind them ranks of old bottles, sealed packs, instruments in rolls, labelled boxes in Kessler’s precise hand. A sink stood under a mirrored medicine cabinet with one spiderweb crack through the glass, and beside it an old adjustable lamp hung from the wall like an insect, all jointed arms and stubborn angles. There were books here too, of course. Stacks of them on the counter, under the counter, two piled on a stool, one open and face-down on the floor as if he’d been interrupted by the two of you.
Daryl stopped in the doorway and looked around with the kind of deep suspicion most people reserved for snakes and taxidermy. You took one careful step in and said, “Yo doc — you ever do lobotomies or something?”
Kessler, already moving past you to set the lantern down on a side counter, didn't bother turning. “No, but that’s not a terrible idea for your course of treatment.”
“You’re real funny yknow that Kessler?”
“I was being earnest,” Kessler grumbled, and turned to take in the sight of you still wrapped up in blankets like a disgruntled burrito. “Oh, for God’s sake,” he said. “You can’t be examined as a pile of wool. Sit down.”
“Charming bedside manner already,” you said, but obeyed anyway, finding the exam chair by touch and easing into it with a shaky breath. Dary came to stand behind you, close enough that you could feel him there without reaching. Kessler noticed that too, of course. You were beginning to suspect this guy just noticed everything. Which was great for you - what have you to hide? “How old?” he asked abruptly.
You blinked. “What, me?”
“No, the chair.” You gave him a look he could probably hear. “Charming and funny. Dangerous combination.”
“Age,” Kessler repeated. By now, he'd figured that if he didn’t manage to drag information out of you by the roots, it would likely arrive half-formed and wearing a joke as camouflage. You frowned at him from the chair, blankets pooled around your lap, still damp in places despite the stove in the next room doing its best. “Uhh… thirties?” You gave a weak little shrug. “I dunno. Kinda lost track of that. We aren’t big on birthdays.”
He made no comment on that, which felt ungrateful. He only nodded once, filed it away somewhere behind those pale, too-attentive eyes of his, and reached out with one hand. “Look at me.” You did, or tried to — the exam room’s dimness helped and didn’t. It spared you the hard, knifing brightness that made your skull feel lined with broken glass, but in exchange, it left everything in that same half-born state you’d learned to endure: warmer darks and colder darks, softened edges, the suggestion of a face where a face ought to be, never fully settling unless something moved. Kessler’s outline hovered close and angular in front of you, all wiry impatience and old habits.
“You mentioned the original injury was chemical exposure,” he said, his fingers turning your chin a fraction to the left with a steadiness that did not match the rest of him at all.
You exhaled once through your nose, trying to arrange memory into something that sounded less insane than it had felt at the time. “Yeah, it was a mess of solvents and other things Eugene would probably be very smug about being able to identify on sight,” you said. “It hit me square in the face. We rinsed what we could, as fast as possible, but…” Your mouth tightened. “Not fast enough.”
Kessler made a low sound in his throat — not quite sympathy, not quite judgment, more the weary professional response. “Loss of vision immediate?”
“Yep.”
“Pain?” You chuckled at his question without humour. “A bit.”
“Photophobia?”
“Still have that. Some days worse than others.” He shifted slightly at that, the lantern light dragging the shadow of his shoulder across the wall behind him. “Describe current vision.” That one gave you pause; you searched for the words, fingertips tightening once in the blanket, and before you found them, Daryl’s voice came from behind your shoulder, quiet and matter-of-fact. “She says it’s like watercolors.”
Kessler’s hand paused against your jaw. “That what you say?” You turned toward Daryl’s voice before you could stop yourself, that automatic little tilt of your face betraying you before you had time to correct it, and heat crept unhelpfully up your neck.
“Yeah,” you said, recovering with what dignity you could salvage. “Like everything’s been painted wet and never dried right. Bright things get through best. Motion helps. Faces are…” You lifted a hand out from under the blanket and made a vague, frustrated little gesture in the air. “More suggestion than reality unless they move.”
For one brief second, Kessler went very still. “Interesting,” he muttered, You frowned. “That did not sound reassuring.”
“It wasn’t meant to.” He noted, leaning in closer then, close enough that you caught the sharper details of him by proximity rather than sight — stale whisky, the fish supper he'd had, the faint medicinal smell that had probably been soaked into his skin for half his life. His fingers turned your face another fraction, thumb pressing lightly beneath your lower lid before he reached to the tray and picked up a small penlight. “Tell me - before you swing at me - if the light hurts.” You huffed, “kinda ruins the surprise, but okay.”
He clicked it on. Even that small beam hit mean; pain stabbed quick and bright behind your eye, and your whole face wanted to flinch away before pride got involved. “Mm,” Kessler said. “Pupil response sluggish. Hold still.” You hissed through your teeth, eyes already stinging. “But I am still,” you said, then, because apparently the universe enjoyed humiliating you, corrected yourself with a muttered, “Sure. Fine.” Behind you, Daryl made the tiniest sound, not quite a laugh but close enough to count if you were being charitable, and you would have glared at him if you’d had anything useful to glare with. Kessler moved the light again, this time lower and more careful, angling it so the pain narrowed from knife to ache. Your eyes still watered instantly, but at least it no longer felt like he was trying to spear your brain through your pupil. “Any pressure?” he asked. “To put it mildly,” you gritted.
“How often?”
“Lately?” You swallowed. “More often, I guess.”
“Headaches?” You opened your mouth but Daryl answered first. “Yeah. Been worse on the road.” Kessler looked up, past your shoulder, and the movement pulled yours with it before you could stop it. Wonderful. Another little accidental display of exactly how much you relied on Daryl to orient yourself. The heat in your face climbed another notch. “How much worse?” Kessler asked him. “Started before the harbour,” he said. “Past couple weeks, even before we left. Been rubbin’ her eyes more. Head too. Light’s been botherin’ her a hell of a lot.”
You frowned. “I can answer my own medical questions honey.” Kessler’s mouth barely moved. “Can you? Because so far your husband is doing a better job than you are.”
“That’s insanely rude,” you grumbled, to which he just ignored you.
He set the penlight down and reached for another instrument, something metal and old and unpleasantly cold where it touched the skin beneath your eye. You kept yourself from recoiling by sheer spite. “Have you had nausea before this trip?”
You hesitated. Barely. Less than a second. But it was enough. Behind you, Daryl went quiet in exactly the wrong way, and Kessler picked up on it at once. “Oh, excellent,” he said. “Now we’re hiding symptoms. My favourite category of patient.”
“It wasn’t hiding,” you said. “It was… curating.”
“It was hiding.” You sighed, accepting defeat. “Fine. Yes. Nausea.”
“How long?”
“Not long—” Then; “‘past week,” said Daryl. You turned your head toward him as far as Kessler’s grip would allow. “Why do you have to snitch on me?”
“You threw up by the harbour.”
“That was the fish smell.”
Kessler made a low, disgusted sound that somehow translated very clearly as I hate all of this and am now a great deal more interested than I wanted to be. “Any fever?” he asked. “No,” you quickly answered, voice suddenly sounding nasal. Behind you Daryl said, “I dunno. You’ve been feelin’ kinda hot.” You shut your eyes for one brief, appalled second. “Dearest, you’re being really unhelpful.”
“Bein’ more helpful than you.” You stuck your tongue out at him, and Kessler cleared his throat, clearly trying to make you behave. “Before tonight,” Kessler said, sounding like a man trying not to throw both of you bodily into the sea, “was there any fever?”
You pressed your lips together. “Fine maybe a little.”
“Chills?”
“I’m soaked in the North Atlantic, doctor. Define your terms.”
“Before tonight.” Another tiny pause. “Maybe,” you admitted.
“You mentioned vomiting - has that been a common occurrence recently?”
You weren't trying to be difficult, not exactly, but saying a thing out loud always made it more real than you wanted it to be, and Daryl’s silence behind you had gone from wrong to dreadful. He swore under his breath, and you scowled in his general direction. “Why are you acting like I’ve betrayed the state?”
“How’s he supposed ta help when ya don’t say nothin’?” Daryl scolded and all you could do was squawk at him while trying to justify how unhelpful you were being. Kessler stepped back then, just long enough to drag a stool over with one foot. It scraped across the floor in a tired metal complaint before he sat in front of you, elbows braced on his knees, peering at you with a look that had shifted so subtly it took you a moment to name it. Less difficult old drunk now. More physician with a grudge against reality. He picked up your wrist without asking and pressed two fingers into the pulse point there, his thumb firm against the inside of it while he counted in silence. The room seemed to gather in around that silence — the lantern glow, the cracked cabinets, the far-off muffled groan of the island settling against the weather. “You said you'd had further treatment after the initial injury,” he said at last.
You nodded. “Experimental. Improvised. We had help, but... it didn't work out.”
“The cryocentre?” he asked, and that made you blink. “You picked that out of all that?”
“It’s the only part I got from your babbling.” A tired little laugh escaped you. The room swam faintly when you tipped your head back against the chair. “There was stored material,” you said. “A compound. NK-47.”
Kessler’s hand stopped on your wrist. Even Daryl felt it, because his fingers tightened once on the chair behind you. When Kessler spoke again, his voice had flattened into something much more dangerous than ordinary rudeness. “Who administered it?”
You wet your lips. “A medic named Marla. She was super nice — and she had help. They knew some of what they were doing.”
“Some," he repeated back, scoffing. "What was delivery?” You frowned. “Delivery?”
“How was it introduced?” he asked, each syllable clipped clean. “Ocular? Intravenous? Tissue infiltration? Local bath? Don’t make me guess.” You looked, helplessly and instinctively, toward Daryl. He sounded as lost as you felt when he asked, “the hell kinda is that.” Kessler shut his eyes for one beat, like God was testing him personally. He looked back at you; “How,” he said with painful restraint, “did it go into her body?”
“Oooh.” You swallowed. “Local, mostly. Topical and… more direct than topical? Intra-whatever. Around the eye.... Look, it wasn’t exactly a spa, okay.”
His hand tightened once, almost imperceptibly, around your wrist. “Clearly.” He got up so fast the stool legs barked on the floor, then crossed to the counter and started opening drawers with increasingly irritated precision, metal clicking, glass shifting. The noise of it seemed too loud in the little room. You watched the blur of him move and said, trying for light and not quite getting there, “That reaction feels… loaded.” Daryl’s voice came low behind you. “What?”
Kessler found whatever he was looking for and turned back with a different lens in hand, older and heavier than the others, and no humour left in him at all. “What you’ve described,” he said, “is either a wildly irresponsible salvage attempt that happened to preserve some functional signal pathways by sheer luck, or the most reckless piece of miracle medicine I’ve heard of in a very long time.”
“That sounds… promising?”
“It’s not,” he said. Well don't sugarcoat it doc.
“So what the hell that mean?” Daryl pressed, clearly getting agitated. Kessler didn’t answer him right away. He was looking at you now with that terrible clinical stillness again, the one that said he had already started fitting pieces together and did not like the shape they made. “It means,” he said at last, very carefully, “that before I tell either of you anything useful, I need a proper look at what exactly has been left alive, what’s been aggravated, and what your body has been doing with it since.” You tried for a smile and got halfway there. “Wow. You really know how to talk a girl into confidence.”
“Silence,” he said, but there was no bite in it now. Something else instead. Focus. “Head back. Eyes up. And this time try keeping your trap shut.”
He didn't give you time to get nervous; he leaned in again with the lens and the light, and this time when the beam crossed your vision, it wasn’t the quick, mean stab from before, not something you could grit your teeth through and make snide comments at. The pain came hotter, sharper, with pressure blooming behind your eye and radiating backwards into your skull as if the light had found some raw place under the scarred tissue and pressed there deliberately. The room gave a small, ugly tilt; your stomach churning and your breath catching all at once. Kessler saw it, fingers tightening at your jaw before you could flinch away. “Don’t move.”
“Christ I wasn’t planning to—” The rest of it died on your tongue because nausea surged up, sudden and vicious, hot in your throat. You swallowed hard against it, one hand gripping the arm of the chair so fast your knuckles hurt. Behind you, Daryl straightened. “What?” Kessler didn’t answer him. His attention had narrowed down to your eyes, the instrument in his hand, the tiny involuntary tremor you couldn’t quite stop. He adjusted the beam, angled it lower, then lower still, muttering something under his breath that sounded too medical to be comforting and too soft to fully catch. “What?” you croaked, but he just ignored that too. The pressure behind your eyes turned and spread, joined now by that familiar, hateful fuzzing at the edges of your remaining sight, as if the watercolour world were being stirred too hard.
Then, from somewhere outside the room, through stone and distance and weather, came the first horn. It was low and ugly and close enough to shake the glass in the cabinets. Kessler stopped dead.
A second horn answered it from farther downshore. Then a third.
You felt Daryl move before you heard him, the scrape of his boots against the floor sharp in the cramped room. “Ya don’t think that’s them pricks from Hook?”
Kessler lowered the light slowly, every line of him tightening. The look on his face, when he turned toward the sound, was not surprise. Another horn blared, longer this time, carrying over the island in a brassy animal call that somehow managed to sound both dreadful and threatening.
Kessler swore like sailor from what you builds pick up in his hushed frantic mutterings under his breath. “They really don’t waste time,” he said.
As if to underline that, voices rose outside — too distant to make out words yet, but many of them, carried in broken pieces by the wind. The sea threw them up and the stone caught them and sent them back warped and louder than they should have been.
Kessler was moving before either of you answered. He snatched the lantern off the side table, shoved the lens back onto the tray with more force than necessary, and headed for the door in three quick strides, muttering, “Of course they come now. Of course.”
Daryl reached you before the room could tilt again, one hand at your shoulder and one at your elbow as he helped you carefully out of the chair. “You good?”
“No,” you said honestly, one hand coming up to your temple. “But I am vertical.”
“That ain’t the same thing.”
“Awfully observant tonight, huh?” He gave you a look that would have done more if the world hadn’t chosen that exact moment to tilt harder under your feet. The floor dipped. Or maybe your body did. Either way the nausea climbed another notch, fast enough to make you grab at his jacket. Daryl’s hand tightened instantly. Kessler, at the door already, glanced back just once. Whatever he saw in your face sharpened his own. “Try not to collapse until I can decide whether I’m annoyed or alarmed,” he said. “You got it doc,” you heaved, but he was gone into the corridor before the words had finished echoing.
The three of you moved through the fort in a rush at a jog. Kessler led, lantern swinging hard enough to throw the stone walls into ugly jerking life around you: old passages, damp stairs, narrow slits of window showing only black sea and the occasional lash of white where waves struck rock. Daryl stayed close enough that every time you faltered his hand was already there at the small of your back or bracing your arm, his own wet sleeve cold where it brushed you.
The horns sounded again by the time you reached the outer door, joined now by the thrum of multiple engines idling low in the water below. When Kessler threw the door open, the wind hit like a slap. Night had settled properly while you were inside. Not total black — Widow Light still turned somewhere beyond the channel, sweeping pale arcs across the water, and the harbour boats had their own lamps hung low and yellow over the decks — but dark enough that the island felt cut out of the world, its stone walls and jagged edges appearing only in fragments when light found them. Below, along the rough crescent of shore and the broken remains of the old landing, several boats sat in the water like waiting teeth, rocking in the chop. Lanterns swung from their bows. Men stood in them thick as shadows, their shapes made briefly human each time a beam or lamp hit the wrong angle. You could hear the harbour in them even from here — the same voices from the Bell, only harder now, less softened by walls and beer.
One boat gave another sharp blast on its horn. “Very subtle,” you said through chattering teeth. Daryl’s hand settled at your waist, not just affectionate now, more anchoring. “Can you stand?”
“Course I can,” you managed, squeezing your eyes to shut out the dizzying swirls. You were definitely standing straight and totally not swaying like a buoy on the sea. Below, one of the men called up toward the fort. “Kessler!” The name came back from the rocks in a ragged echo. Kessler stepped forward onto the lip of the old landing path, lantern in one hand, rifle in the other; “What?” he shouted back. “Thought I made myself fairly clear on where you men should shove it.”
That earned him a burst of overlapping replies. You couldn’t make all of it out at once. The wind took some, the water warped the rest, but the shape of it was clear enough. They wanted to talk. They wanted to know whether the pair had made it ashore. They wanted the man and woman he’d taken in. They wanted to know if anyone had been hurt. They wanted, most of all, to get control of the story before it got any farther away from them. Kessler answered by being himself. “No one is dead who didn’t try very hard to be,” he called. “Say your piece and get off my water.”
That set them off. Voices rose. One of the boats surged a little closer before another man barked something and it checked itself. It was not a raid — not yet — but it was far from peaceful. The boats circled and jostled, lanterns swinging in wind, men standing with all the brittle righteous energy of people who had convinced themselves they were here for everyone’s good.
Tom’s voice finally separated from the mess, carrying farther and cleaner than the others. “We came to make sure nobody did anything foolish.” Kessler laughed once, a sound with no humor in it whatsoever. “Then you’ve come to the wrong island.”
Another voice — Bran maybe, or Orrin, harder to tell in the wind — shouted, “You let ’em in, then?”
“They fell onto my rocks with a shoddy boat along with a dozen Hungry ones,” Kessler snapped. “Hospitality was forced upon me.”
That got a few ugly mutters. Daryl shifted beside you, shoulders squaring, every inch of him telegraphing how much he hated being talked about like freight. The voices below kept climbing and crossing one another.
“They stole from us—”
“They murdered Roger—”
“He was on watch—”
“They had no right—”
“Neither do you—” Kessler began, but Tom cut across him. “The woman doesn’t belong there.” That one rang out clean enough to cut through everything else. Daryl actually took one step forward before catching himself. “The hell she does,” he said, low but lethal. You touched his wrist once, not to calm him exactly, just to remind him where you were.
Kessler’s head turned a fraction, enough to clock that too, before he looked back down at the boats and said, “Mrs Dixon is none of your concern.” Tom either missed the mockery or was too deep into his own purpose to care. “We’re trying to keep this from becoming something uglier than it already is,” he called.
“You came armed and blowing horns in the night,” Kessler shot back. “Do explain how subtle diplomacy would’ve looked by comparison.” One of the younger men shouted something about the island not belonging to one bitter old drunk. Another yelled back that the channel wasn’t for women and never had been, which made you so tired all at once you nearly laughed. And then the whole scene — the voices, the boats, the turning light, the black water lifting and dropping under the lanterns — seemed to pull away from you by half an inch.
You blinked hard. The lantern glow on the rocks smeared wrong. Your stomach rolled with such force you thought for one awful second you were going to throw up right there over the side of St. Hale like a dramatic seabird. The pressure behind your eyes surged hotter, sharper, and this time the pain did not stay there. It spread. Up into your skull. Down your neck. Through your jaw. The chill that had been needling at your skin since the water suddenly turned feverish and wrong, heat trapped under cold, your whole body unable to decide whether to shake or burn.
Daryl felt the change before you said anything. His hand left your waist and came up to the back of your neck in the same instant your knees softened. “Hey — you still with me?” You tried to answer. What came out was a thin, breathless, “wait — hold on.”
The sound of the boats below swelled and dipped, Kessler still snapping something back at them, but all of it had gone faintly far away now, as if the island and the men and the sea had been shoved behind a thick pane of dirty glass. You could hear your own pulse too loud. Could feel the dangerous sway in your body as if some invisible tide had gotten inside you and was pulling. Daryl turned fully to you. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” you said automatically, then immediately revised with desperate honesty, “Everything. I—” The nausea hit hard enough to fold you.
Daryl caught you before you made it all the way down, one arm around your middle, the other grabbing your shoulder so fast the blanket slid half off and the world lurched sideways around the force of him. Kessler wheeled at the sound; the lantern in his hand throwing the whole scene jagged and bright for one horrible second — Daryl hauling you upright against him, your face gone white even under all that salt and cold, the boats below still circling and calling like gulls around a carcass. “What happened?” Kessler barked, but Daryl stayed on you. “You gonna be sick? Baby can ya hear me? Kessler — I think she’s goin’.”
“I gather that,” Kessler said grimly. You tried to tell them both to stop talking about you like you weren’t there, but the words didn’t line up right. The pressure behind your eyes was blinding now, far worse than the little light test in the exam room, and for a second even the watercolor blur of the world seemed to pull thin and strange, brightness bleeding where there shouldn’t have been any brightness at all
Below, Tom shouted up, “What’s happenin’?” Kessler spun on him with such naked fury it was almost beautiful. “What’s happening,” he roared, “is you and your merry band of men are leaving now. And if you lot do not get the hell off my shore right now, I will start taking pieces off your beloved boats and handing them back one at a time!”
The boats did not flee. But the shouting broke, stuttered, rearranged itself into something less certain. Kessler was already back at your side, grabbing your chin, not gently, forcing your face up toward the lantern light. “Can you see?”You laughed weakly, because of course he’d ask that first. “Not really,” you answered, and that sharpened his whole face. Daryl’s voice dropped lower. Meaner. “You said she was unstable.”
“I said I needed a proper look,” Kessler snapped. “Now move.” He shoved the lantern at Daryl without waiting to see whether he caught it and got both hands on you instead, one at your wrist, one braced sharp against your spine, already turning you back toward the door. “Inside,” he said. “Now.”
You tried to obey. You really did. You took one step, then another, but the world had started lagging half a beat behind itself, the stone under your boots arriving too late, the lantern light dragging ugly bright tails across your vision, your stomach rolling so hard it felt as if the waves had somehow followed you ashore and climbed inside your ribs. Daryl had one arm around you already, Kessler was moving ahead with the lantern and swearing at both of you to hurry up, but that was something your body had abruptly opted out of. “Move,” he snapped over his shoulder. “If she’s crashing, every minute we waste out here is another one I’ll have to fight for later.” You made some sound that was supposed to mean I’m fucking trying and came out closer to a whimper.
One second your boots were scraping uselessly over wet stone, and the next Daryl had simply swept you up, one arm under your knees, the other braced hard behind your back, hauling you tight against his chest as if you weighed nothing at all. The motion jarred the pain behind your eyes so badly black spots burst across the little vision you had left, and you buried your face into the cold damp of his shoulder to try and hide from the sting. “Easy,” he muttered, though whether to you or himself was anyone’s guess. “I gotcha.”
Kessler threw the door open ahead of you and the fort swallowed you again — narrow stone corridors, lantern-light pitching wildly over walls slick with old damp, Daryl’s boots thundering down the hall while Kessler strode ahead at a pace that suggested he had long ago given up caring whether anyone else could keep up. “Worst case scenarios,” Kessler said abruptly, not slowing, the words thrown backward at Daryl as if they were discussing weather and not your body. “You should hear them now.”
Daryl’s grip on you tightened. “No.”Kessler ignored that. “If intracranial involvement is as advanced as I suspect, if the inflammatory response has become systemic, if pressure has been building unchecked, then we may be out of the realm of tidy intervention and into damage control. I may have to act aggressively and I may have to do it before I have all the information I’d prefer.”
Daryl’s voice came low and dangerous behind him. “English.” Kessler flung open the exam room door so hard it hit the wall and rebounded. “Worst case,” he said, rounding on him at last with the lantern held high, “I have to choose between preserving what vision remains and preserving her life. Worse than that, I may fail at both.”
The words hit even through the cotton-wool haze swallowing you. You tried to lift your head but the room swam. Daryl still didn’t put you down; “then don’t fail,” he bit. Kessler stared at him as Daryl rounded the exam chair with you in his arms, fury and terror braided so tight in him it was hard for him to breath right. “You hear me? I don’t care what it takes. I don’t care what you gotta cut, drain, or stitch. You save her.”
Kessler’s face did not soften. If anything, it got colder. “That is not how medicine works.” Daryl’s jaw flexed so hard you thought for one strange second you heard his teeth complain. “Lemme make this real clear. You do every damn thing you can. Every last thing. And if she dies—” He stopped, swallowed once, and the rest came out quieter, which was worse. “I don’t care if it’s your fault or not. You’re dyin’ too.”
For one suspended beat the room held that. Kessler didn’t flinch. He held Daryl’s glare for a few long moments, looked down at you half-conscious in his arms, then back up at him again, and whatever answer he might have had clearly got sorted below the level of speech, because all he said was, “Put her on the table.” The exam chair was abandoned — he meant the steel table at the far side of the room, the older one, half gurney and half operating platform, bolted under the adjustable lamp.
Daryl crossed to it in three fast strides and laid you down with a care so fierce it nearly undid you. One hand stayed under your head until the last second. The steel was shockingly cold through your damp clothes.
Kessler was moving already. Drawers. Cabinets. Locked tins. Instruments. Cloth packs. Bottles with labels too old to trust and apparently still trusted anyway. He lit two more lamps from the kitchen lantern and the room changed around you, shadows shoving back, every metal surface catching that pale gold light and throwing it harder. For the first time since entering St. Hale you could feel the shape of the place he used to be in his movements. Not the recluse, not the drunk — the doctor. Abrupt, exacting, terrifyingly alive. “Blankets off,” he snapped and Daryl stripped them away at once.
“Jacket too.” Daryl hesitated one fraction of a second before pulling his own jacket from around your shoulders. “She’s freezing,” he said.
“She’s soaked, unstable, and on the edge of something I don’t yet have a name for. I need access more than she needs your sentiment.” That should have started a fight but somehow it didn’t. Daryl shoved your jacket aside and bent over you, hands rough but careful as he got at your sleeves, your shirt clinging wetly to your skin. His fingers shook once when they caught on the hem. And even half out of it, even with your head full of knives and your stomach trying to leave your body, you noticed. Kessler thrust a folded cloth and a bottle into Daryl’s hand;“wipe from the brow down. Around the orbit. Not in it. Sterile field from forehead to cheekbones. If you contaminate anything, I’ll shoot you again and I won’t miss this time.”
Daryl gave him the kind of look most men didn’t survive long after, but still he obeyed. The cloth came cold and sharp-smelling against your face, then warmer as his hand steadied. He worked in silence for a few seconds, clearing salt and grit and God knows what else from your skin while Kessler laid out instruments with the clipped efficiency of a man arranging a battlefield. Metal kissed metal. Glass clinked. Bottles opened. Water ran in the sink behind you in a hard, echoing burst and then stopped.
You drifted — not fully under. Just away, the room fading in and out around the edges. Sometimes you caught Kessler’s voice naming things. Pressure. Pupil response. Saline. Needle. Sedation first. Sometimes you only heard Daryl breathing. Once the world narrowed all the way down to the pad of his thumb wiping the corner of your mouth clean like you were something breakable and beloved all at once. When you surfaced again, the first thing you said was, “I feel weird.” Daryl bent over you at once. “Yeah?” You blinked at the blur of him. “No, I mean, really weird.”
He made a sound that wanted to be soothing and came out wrecked. “Okay. Okay well, the doc is getting’ to work alrigh’ he’s gonna sort you out.”
Kessler appeared over one shoulder in a flare of lamplight and impatience. “That’s the plan anyway.”
“Can you not?” you murmured. “Not what?”
“Breathe near me – your breath stinks of sour tea.” That got the ghost of a smile out of Daryl, and then your own throat tightened because suddenly this all felt too final, too bright, too cold, too much like the edge of something you had not agreed to stand on. You reached for Daryl and he caught your hand before you fully had to. “Hey,” he said, and now there was no rough humour left, only him, only Daryl, every wall stripped clean. “I love you.” Your chest hurt. Not physically — worse. “I love you too,” you sniffled, because apparently that is what your sinuses did when they thought you might be dying. “I’m glad it was you in the end.” He went absolutely still. “Nah,”he said at once. “Don’t be talkin’ like that.”
You tried to smile and your face wouldn’t cooperate. “I mean it.”
“No,” he said again, fiercer now, bending closer until his forehead nearly touched yours. His hand cupped the side of your face, thumb shaking once against your cheekbone. “You ain’t dyin’, alright? You hear me? We got way too much left t’do for you t’pull some dramatic shit now.” A laugh caught in your throat and turned wet around the edges.
“I love you,” he said again, lower now, like it was being dragged straight out of the middle of him. “So much. An’ you ain’t leavin’ me here with these miserable pricks. We still got home. We still got Dog. We still got—” He broke off hard enough you felt it. “We still got us. So you shut your mouth.”
You pressed your mouth together because if you didn’t, you were going to cry, and that felt embarrassing in front of Kessler. Who, naturally, chose that exact moment to ruin everything.
“Well my heart is bleeding for you kids,” he said from somewhere to your right, completely monotone, “but I regret to inform you I need your husband elsewhere.”
Daryl snapped upright so fast the stool beside him scraped. “Hell no.” Kessler didn’t even look surprised. “Yes, you are.”
“I’m not leavin’ her with you right now.”
“The Hook men are still outside, Mr. Dixon, and unless you’d like them breaking my perimeter while I’m elbow-deep in a crisis, you are infinitely more useful to me armed and angry ready to defend this place than glowering at me from six inches away.”
Daryl took one step toward him, every line of him gone violent with refusal. “You said assess.”
“Not only am I assessing, I need to act fast — damage control Mr Dixon,” Kessler said. “What I am also doing is reminding you of the bargain you made in my kitchen before your wife‘a condition worsened.” Daryl looked like he wanted to hit him. Kessler, infuriatingly, continued. “Go to the armory.”
That made Daryl pause despite himself; Kessler saw it and pounced. “Second stairwell down, left at the split, steel door with the red wheel lock. If you have a thing for weapons then I’m sure it’s going to feel uncomfortably close to a wet dream.” Even now, even half out of your body, you nearly smiled. Daryl did not.
“Do not,” Kessler said, very pointedly, “come back in here and interrupt me unless the island is actively falling into the sea. You make sure the perimeter holds. You keep your end of the deal. I will keep mine.” Daryl looked back, and in that moment you could almost feel the war in him — every instinct he had screaming to stay, to plant himself at your side, against the colder, uglier truth that if Kessler was right and the Hook men pushed now, staying would not save you. It would only leave the island undefended and give everybody more ways to die at once.
He bent down fast and kissed you on the lips. Not soft, not nearly long. Just enough to leave the shape of him on your mouth, a promise pressed betweeen you. Your hand cupped the back of his head, trying to keep him there. “I’ll be right outside,” he said, so close you could feel his breath, and you nodded because your throat had stopped working. His hand slid once through your wet hair, then he straightened and stepped back before either of you could make it harder.
Kessler was already pulling on gloves that looked too old to inspire confidence and too well-kept to dismiss entirely. “Go,” he said. Daryl took one more look at you, long enough that you felt it all the way down, then turned and left with the kind of abruptness that only came when staying one second longer would have become impossible to leave.
The door shut behind him — the room seemed to empty out in the wrong direction. Not because Kessler became kinder. God forbid. But because the last thread of comfort went out with Daryl in the corridor, leaving only the lamps, the steel table, the old doctor on his island, and your body laid out between all your hard-won chances and whatever came next.
Kessler came to your side, checked something at your eye with brisk, unloving precision, and said, “Right. Let’s see whether all this melodrama has been worth the trip””
He did not waste breath on false reassurance. He moved with a speed that somehow made the room feel slower, if that made sense, because everything he touched became deliberate. A tray slid into place with a clean metallic whisper. Bottles were uncapped, labels checked, set back down in a strict and comprehensible order. He rolled the overhead lamp lower, adjusted one arm, then another, until its cone of light fell sharp and surgical over your face and upper chest while the corners of the room dropped deeper into shadow. Somewhere behind your head a machine came alive in stages — first a click, then a low hum, then the faint cyclical hiss of something pressurising or draining or both.
You lay on the steel table in a nest of towels and old institutional sheets, relatively dry now but only in patches, your hair spread damply beneath your head, your body caught in that ugly middle ground between fever and chill where every inch of skin felt too tight and too loud. The nausea had eased just enough to leave you weak instead of folded over. The pressure behind your eyes had not eased at all. It sat there, dense and malevolent, a hot hard swelling under the bone that made every blink feel like an argument with your own skull.
Kessler came back to your side with a folded drape over one arm and a mask hanging loose around his neck. “Try not to move,” he said. “I’m aware this is a dramatic request given the circumstances, but I do like to pretend I’m working with professionals.”
You smiled faintly. “I thought the whole point was that I’m difficult. That’s kinda how I got into this mess.”
“Which one?” he sighed, setting a small metal dish down near your shoulder, “your blindness from chemical exposure, the mess of trying to fix your eyes or the man you supposedly murdered when you stole a boat to get here?”
Jesus he really nailed it. “Uhh all of the above.”
“For the record,” he said, leaning over you with a penlight one last time, studied your pupil response in silence, then switched it off and looked at the clock on the wall. “I think that’s very cool that you did that. Rodger was a shocking human.”
“A doctor who condones murder. The hypocratic oath don’t got nothin’ on ya Kessler.”
There were gloves on his hands now, pale and tight over the bones of them, and a clean gown over his clothes, tied badly at the waist as if he’d done it one-handed and resented needing to. It should have looked absurd on him — the whisky-soaked hermit in surgical whites — but somehow it didn’t. The sloppier human edges of him had receded. Not vanished. Just tucked themselves away behind habit and focus.
“You’re pretty fortunate for someone in your situation; you still have signal. Not cleanly or properly. But something is getting through. Enough that if I can stabilise the inflammation, relieve the pressure, and debride the damaged anterior tissues without losing what’s left beneath…” He trailed off, not because he lacked the words but because he was clearly debating whether you’d benefit from hearing them.
“I hate when doctors go vague in the middle of a sentence.” He gave you a look. “I am not going vague. I am deciding how much truth a woman with her pulse in her throat and her body trying to revolt can process usefully.”
“That’s very thoughtful. A little insulting. But thoughtful.” He adjusted the drape over your chest and shoulders, leaving only your face and the upper line of your neck exposed. “Best case,” he said at last, “if your body cooperates and if the deeper structures are still viable, you may regain functional sight. Not the sight you had before ofcourse. I’m not a magician and your damage is not tidy. But functional. Enough to live in more comfortably. Enough that lenses might do real work for you afterward.”
You wet your lips. “How functional?” He hesitated, which was answer enough to raise your heart rate another notch all by itself. Then he said, “Think in terms of compromise, not perfection. Better than now by a margin worth crossing hell for. Worse than what a healthy woman would call normal.” Why can’t he answer you in normal, non-frustrating terms?
“Like glasses?” you asked. His brow twitched, mildly surprised by the practicality of that. “Almost certainly. A strong prescription. Perhaps very strong – which I doubt you could find for miles, but I’d rather you curse spectacles than darkness.” You laughed once and immediately regretted it when the pressure in your head throbbed harder. “Okay. Yeah. I could be mean to glasses.”
“There’s the spirit.” The joke passed through the room like something fragile and gone. He turned away then, checking the line he had already started in your arm while you were half out of it before, tightening the tape around it, adjusting the flow with fingers that were remembering the routine. From the tray he drew up something clear into a syringe, held it to the light, tapped the barrel once, and set it aside in a sequence that looked practiced enough to make your stomach drop for an entirely different reason. You watched him for a second and said, quieter now, “could you tell me what you’re doing?”
He glanced at you, then at the instruments. “I’m going to induce anaesthesia first, because if I try this awake you will claw my face off and then bleed to death while probably apologising sarcastically.” He turned, selected another instrument — fine, delicate, wicked-looking in exactly the way all useful medical tools are — and laid it down. “Once you’re under, I’ll irrigate thoroughly, clear the unstable and scarred superficial tissues that are distorting the surface and trapping pressure, assess what remains viable beneath, and decide in real time how aggressive I can afford to be. You have reactive scarring, probably inflammatory adhesions, likely phototoxic damage organised badly through the anterior structures, and if the reports you’ve given me are worth anything, the secondary deeper involvement I won’t fully understand until I’m in there.”
You gawked at him. Then, almost kindly for him, he added, “In plainer English: your eyes and the tissue around them have been surviving in a way I do not trust. I intend to make them survive better.”
“That was much better than the first version.”
“I shall treasure that review.” Outside, somewhere farther down in the fort, something metal slammed and voices rose, then blurred away again into distance. Kessler did not even glance at the door. You did however, and that earned you a hand at your temple, not rough, just firm enough to keep your face where he wanted it. “Mr. Dixon is not going to let the island fall over while I’m occupied.”
You swallowed. “He seemed scared.” For the first time in several minutes, Kessler’s expression shifted into something that wasn’t clinical. “Good,” he said. “That usually means they understand what matters””
There was no comfort in that. Somehow there was steadiness. He reached for the syringe. The notion of it should have panicked you more than it did. Maybe you were too tired. Maybe the terror had already burned itself too hot to stay bright. Or maybe, after all the running and bargaining and water and bullets and sea, the thought of being unconscious while somebody else dealt with the next part felt less like surrender than mercy. “Will I know if it’s worked?” you asked.
“The anesthesia?”
“The surgery.” He considered that while swabbing the line in your arm one last time. “Not immediately. But I won’t let you decide it failed because the first thing you see is a bandage and my ugly mug.”
You smiled without meaning to. He did not smile back, but his voice softened by half a grain. “If this goes well, it won’t be theatrical. It will be gradual. Frustratingly so like many things. Pain first, then less pain. Light changing. Edges behaving. The world making more sense than it did this morning.”
You stared up at the lamp. “Okay.” He touched the port of the IV line and looked at you. Really looked. “There is one more thing,” he said. Of course there was. Your laugh came out thin. “I’m not loving this sentence structure.”
“If your body turns on me mid-procedure, if the systemic component is as active as I think it is, I may have to make choices quickly. I can save tissue or preserve stability. In the ideal case I do both. In the less ideal case, I choose life first. And I don’t just mean yours — because if I lose you, your husband will definitely murder me.”
Your eyes prickled, which felt frankly unfair given everything else they were doing. “Yeah it’s apart of his charm,” you chuckled nervously. “Pretty sure he threatened to kill me when we first met, so — don’t take it too personally I guess.”
He nodded once, then the anesthesia began to flow. It didn’t hit all at once. First there was the ordinary chill of something entering the vein. Then a spreading warmth, strangely intimate and unwelcome, traveling up your arm and into your shoulder and chest. The room’s edges lost some of their hostility. The pressure in your eyes stayed, but it seemed farther away suddenly, as if it had been pushed behind glass where you could still see it but no longer had to stand quite so close.
Kessler moved around you in slow, competent tides. Mask adjusted. Drapes smoothed. The overhead lamp lowered another inch. Something cool painted in widening circles around your eyes and cheekbones and brow, sharp with antiseptic, the scent clean enough to make the whole room smell briefly like another era.
Your tongue felt bigger than usual. You watched him through the blur and said, “You know what’s funny?”
“Almost certainly not.”
“I thought I was pregnant.”
That did get a reaction. Not a dramatic one. Just a pause. His gloved hand stilling over a packet he was opening, his eyes lifting to yours with an expression so unexpectedly human it almost hurt. You gave a weak, drugged laugh. “Turns out I was just… dying. Which feels embarrassing in a different way.”
“That is not the takeaway I would encourage.”
“Still. Kind of rude of my body. Very mixed signals.” The sedative warmth was pulling harder now, softening the walls, stretching the distance between one heartbeat and the next. Kessler came back into focus above you, and for a moment the lines in his face changed around the mouth and eyes in a way that made him look not younger, exactly, but less armoured.
“My wife and I, we wanted children,” he said, busying his hands with a clamp that did not seem to require that much attention. “For a while. It never happened.” He looked annoyed to have begun at all, which was strangely comforting because at least one person in the room was behaving normally.
You didn’t know what to do with that except hold still and listen. “She used to say the body was a treacherous narrator,” he went on, voice dry again but thinner under it somehow. “Always telling stories before the facts were in. Most of them lies. Some of them hopes dressed badly.”
The room swayed softly around you. “That’s…” You tried to smile. “Actually very profound for such a hostile old man.”
“She’d be appalled I said anything sentimental at all.” You wanted to ask where she had gone. Whether he had looked for her. Whether he still did, in the guilty ruined parts of himself he tried to sand down with whisky and routines and old machines. But the drugs were climbing higher now and the questions felt too heavy to lift.
Instead you whispered, “She sounds nice.” Kessler adjusted the lamp again, making the light bloom gold-white above you. “She had appalling taste in husbands.”
You smiled at that. Or thought you did — the room was getting farther away. Voices outside now were only shapes. The sea a pulse inside the stone. Your own body, which had been all knives and nausea and cold, was turning into weight and warmth and lagging thought.
Kessler leaned over you one last time, checking your pupils again, his face a blurred stern shape against the surgical lamp. “I need you under fully for this,” he said. “What I’m doing is too fine, too dangerous, and too unforgiving to trust to bravery. So no last-minute heroics, no clever remarks, and no waking up halfway through to tell me how badly I’m doing. Understood?”
You tried to salute and got about halfway to lifting two fingers before gravity argued successfully. “Understood,” you mumbled.
He glanced once toward the shut door, then back at you. “For what it’s worth, Mrs. Dixon, I do not think you are going to die today.” You let out a breath that might have been relief and might have been exhaustion. “Great,” you whispered. “That would’ve been so awkward after all this.”
His mouth twitched again. Then he reached up, adjusted the mask over your nose and mouth, and said, in the last clear corner of the world, “Breathe.”
The smell was sterile and strange and not quite sweet. The lamps blurred. The pain receded by inches. The old fort drifted farther and farther away, all its grudges and tides and armed men and impossible hopes slipping loose at the edges, until there was nothing left but the sound of your own breathing and the murmur of Kessler somewhere above you, already speaking to the sleeping body you were becoming as if it were a puzzle worth solving.
——————————————
By the time Daryl found the armoury, he was so full of cold rage it was almost useful.
Kessler hadn’t lied. The steel door at the end of the lower corridor, the one with the red wheel lock and the warped little stencil that still read AUTHORISED PERSONNEL ONLY in chipped black paint, opened onto the kind of room that would have made any scavenger with half a survival instinct and no moral centre briefly consider religion. Shelves ran floor to ceiling, all of them crowded and labeled with the tidy, hard-edged handwriting of a man who trusted no one but numbers. Ammunition tins. Rifles wrapped in oiled cloth. Sidearms in foam-lined trays. Grenades in old military crates with their stencilled warnings half-worn away. Coils of wire. Flares. Flashlights. Spare magazines banded together with yellowing tape. A rack of old rain capes. Boxes of shotgun shells stacked by gauge. Even a couple of sealed cases marked with chemical hazard symbols Daryl stayed away from. He stood in the doorway for half a second and thought, What the hell kinda doctor is this?
He moved fast, but not sloppy. That was the thing about panic with Daryl: it didn’t make him wild first. It made him exact. He took what he knew, what he could carry, what fit his hands. Sidearm, extra magazines, a rifle he checked by instinct and discarded for one that balanced better. A bandolier of shells. Two grenades after a long, distrustful look at the crate. Two flare guns, a roll of thin wire from the engineering shelf and one old pair of binoculars because why the hell not. He shrugged into a heavier field jacket hanging from a peg and found the pockets already stocked with things Kessler apparently considered normal beachwear: gloves, zip ties, a multitool, a half-used pencil, three loose cartridges, and a folded map of the island with ugly little X marks at the lower paths.
Looking at the map, the island was a lot smaller than it felt, but not simple. Main fort above. Kitchen and old medical wing here. Service stairs here. Lower path down to the beach and the old landing. A second narrow goat-track on the lee side. Fuel shed. Generator annex. Retaining wall. A path toward the old signal tower. Two points marked in red grease pencil: NARROW APPROACH and DO NOT LET HOOK BREACH TO LOWER WING. Daryl stared at that last line for a second and felt something ugly settle in his chest. This wasn’t paranoia for sport. This old fuck had been expecting a siege for years. If he’d built for one, Daryl could work with that.
He pocketed the map, slung the rifle, and headed back up with the wire.
The path from the fort to the beach wasn’t much more than a scar cut into the rock, narrow enough in places that two men coming opposite directions would have to decide real quick which one of them were more expendable. On one side jagged stone shoulder rose slick with salt. On the other, the ground dropped toward black surf and ugly teeth of rock waiting below. In daylight it was probably difficult. At night, under a turning lighthouse beam and weather gone mean, it was a broken neck in instalments. Perfect.
Daryl crouched near the tightest bend and went to work in the dark with hands that didn’t need much light for this kind of thing. He tied the wire low at first, ankle-height, taut between an iron ring pounded into old stone and a rusted stanchion half-buried in lichen. Then higher, chest-height on the inside corner where someone rushing uphill would hit it just wrong. He ran another short line through a gap in the rock and fixed it to a flare canister angled down the path. Not enough to kill. Enough to blind, panic, and make men bunch up exactly where bad footing and black water might do the rest. He checked each one twice. Pulled, tightened, retied, then yanked the last knot hard enough to bite his palm. The sea below boomed and hissed against stone like it was listening.
Daryl came down the last stretch of rock with the rifle low in his hands and stopped where the surf broke white and angry a few feet short of his boots. The beach below St. Hale was little more than a hard slant of wet stone and shingle, black with seawater and slick under the turning beam from Widow Light. The boats rose and dropped on the swell, close enough together to look like one ragged floating thing from a distance, but near enough now that Daryl could read the fault lines in them. Engines idled low on some; others drifted under oar. Men stood packed dark against the lamps, shoulders hunched into coats, caps pulled low faces, coming and going in strips of yellow light. He didn’t raise his voice when he spoke. “That’s far enough.” The words carried flat over the water like seafog.
The nearest boat drifted another foot in on a swell before someone checked it with an oar. Voices muttered across the crescent, low and quick. A hand lifted and fell. Tom was the one who answered first still in the front, still trying to wear authority like it wasn’t slipping; his voice carrying that same worn-out patience he’d had in the Bell, though there was less of it now and less reason to trust it. “This isn’t your fight, Dixon.”
Daryl stood on the wet black stone where the beach narrowed to nothing and the sea hissed around the rocks at his feet like it wanted in on the conversation. His boots were already soaked at the edges. Wind kept trying to shoulder through his coat and flatten it against him, bringing salt and diesel and fish rot off the water. Behind him, St. Hale rose blind and dark, all stone and old angles and secrets, the fort’s bulk cutting a heavier shape into the night. Somewhere up there, beyond wall and corridor and lamplight, you were under Kessler’s hands. That alone had him standing where he was.
He shifted the rifle in his grip, not enough to aim it, just enough that lantern light caught on dull metal and let the boats remember it was there. “It is now.”
That moved through them. Not fear — more a little tightening in the line, a collective awareness that whatever game they had rowed out here expectingto play, he was not going to play it their way. “We want to speak to Kessler,” Tom called. “Tough shit,” Daryl said, his voice flatter than the wind. “You’re speakin’ to me. Turn around. Row home. ’Fore someone gets hurt.”
A younger man in the second boat over — Declan, Daryl thought, though he didn’t much care if he had the right idiot — straightened at that like the insult had lifted him by the throat. Another muttered something too low to catch. Oars clicked softly against gunwales as a couple of the boats corrected themselves on the chop. “Where is he?” somebody called. “Where’s Kessler?”
“Busy.” That earned him a wave of agitation that traveled quick and ugly from one boat to the next. A few heads turned. Someone swore. Then another voice, farther left and sharper with it, came over the water. “Where’s the woman?” Several of them leaned in before they could help it. Even the men who had been trying to keep their faces neutral stopped looking at Daryl and started looking past him, up toward the black shoulder of the fort. It was not simple curiosity. It wasn’t concern the way decent people meant concern — it had too much wanting in it, too much ownership, too much of that warped protective instinct that had nothing to do with simple respect. Daryl hated it on sight. “Busy too,” he said. “And it ain’t any o’ ya business.”
Tom’s head came up. “Busy how?” Daryl should have lied. Knew it the second the question left Tom’s mouth. But he was cold and angry and too distracted by the thought of you being somewhere behind him with an old bastard cutting into your eyes while these men had the nerve to act like they’d been invited into the problem. “Kessler’s operatin’.”
The crescent of boats tightened all at once. Not one dramatic motion, which would have been easier to read and answer, but a rough little contraction of men and wood and water: lanterns rocking harder, hulls knocking softly together, faces turning toward one another, voices tripping over themselves in a low surge of disbelief. One curse rose clean above the rest. Somebody said Christ Almighty like it was both accusation and prayer. Bran’s head snapped up. Orrin went so still his whole boat seemed steadier for it. “On her?” Someone called.
Who the fuck else? Daryl didn’t answer, which was answer enough. One of the younger men barked out a laugh that was really just nerves put on loudspeaker. “He actually let her in there?” Another voice cut through it, rougher and uglier. “You let him put his hands on her?”
That one made Daryl’s temper flash white for a second. He stepped one pace nearer the edge of the wash, boots grinding against slick stone, and gave the line of boats a long, flat look. “Y’all real interested in ma wife,” he said, “for people I met three hours ago.” Several faces changed. Not guilt exactly. Not shame either. More that blank, ugly flicker of men realising they had let the thing under the thing show for half a second and now had to either own it or hide it better.
“Nobody here means her harm,” Tom said at last, and he said it calmly enough that another man, in another place, might almost have believed him. The words carried over the chop in one clean piece, slipping between the hiss of the surf and the knock of hulls against one another, but calm was cheap at a distance, and Daryl was sick of the soft voice act to dress up an ugly intention. He kept his eyes on Tom. “That supposed to comfort me?” Tom shifted his weight in the boat, one hand still braced on the gunwale, lantern-light cutting the creases beside his mouth deeper than they had looked in the Bell. “It’s supposed to tell you we’re not the enemy.””
That got the smallest movement out of Daryl — not a laugh, not even a smile, just the faintest tightening at one corner of his mouth, the expression a man wore when someone had insulted him by underestimating how closely he’d been paying attention. He let his gaze move over them slowly, taking in wet wool coats, old rope, callused hands curled on oars and rails, the uneasy jostle of boats riding too close together in bad water. Six men to one hull in places, shoulders knocking with every lift of the sea. Faces going pale and gold and then dark again whenever Widow Light swept around and washed over the crescent before moving on. Looking past Tom he saw Orrin farther off, set like a man who had rowed out here against his better judgment and now had to live with that fact. Bran with his eyes too often lowered, one hand resting on the side of his boat like he trusted timber more than the men packed in around him. The younger ones hot-faced and too upright, full of that dangerous certainty that only ever belonged to men who had not yet paid enough for their convictions.
“You rowed out here in the dark,” Daryl said, his voice flat enough to take the wind right out of the air between them, “in shit weather, six deep to a boat, after one of yours put hands on her and the rest of you stood there tellin’ yourselves bedtime stories about why that shit was normal.” He hitched the rifle a little higher on his shoulder, not threatening with it, just reminding them it was there. “Didn’t buy your shit then. Ain’t startin’ now.”
One of the boys — Declan, the loud one, all sharp elbows and loose temper — shifted like he wanted to spit something back immediately and was waiting to see whether one of the older men would give him permission to be stupid. Tom’s mouth tightened. Orrin’s jaw worked once. Bran looked down at the dark slosh collecting in the bottom of his boat as if he had suddenly found it fascinating.
“If we’d stayed in Hook,” he said, “you really gonna stand there and tell me she’d’ve still just been a guest by mornin’?”
Nobody answered him. The sea shouldered at the hulls. Somewhere out beyond the lantern line a buoy bell gave one lonely thunk into the wind and let the sound die there. Wet ropes creaked. A lamp chimed against a metal hook. The men in the boats looked like what they were now that the politeness had been peeled off them — not villains in a story, not one-minded monsters, just a roomful of bad decisions spread out over water, too many years of isolation and grief and superstition and want hardened into one ugly shape and rowed out under cover of darkness. Daryl tipped his head a fraction. “Yeah,” he said. “Thought so.”
Declan spat over the side. “You don’t know a damn thing.” The relief in him at finally getting to sound like himself was so obvious it almost would have been funny in another life. His whole face sharpened around it, every trace of restraint gone. Tom snapped his name low and warning, but the boy had found his courage now that it was standing shoulder to shoulder with twenty-nine other men, and courage borrowed that cheaply was always the loudest kind. “Fine,” Declan called across the water, voice carrying bright and hard. “You want plain? I’ll give you plain.”
Tom tried again. “Declan—” But Declan was past listening, and that told Daryl plenty all by itself. Not that the boy had slipped his leash. That nobody in the boats was actually trying very hard to pull him back. “You and her,” Declan said, jabbing a gloved hand toward Daryl, “you’re the ones made us stop messin’ around.”
That held the whole line still for a beat. Even the older men let him have the floor, and that said more than the words did. Declan laughed once, ugly and overbright with it, the sound of a man getting off on finally saying the bad thing in full. “You kill one of ours, take a boat like it’s just a simple fact of life, row straight past every warning we’ve been tellin’ ourselves for years, and what’re we meant to do with that? Pretend we didn’t see it? Pretend there’s still time for half-measures?”
He spread his arms toward the dark bulk of St. Hale behind Daryl, the fort rising black and mute above the beach, old stone and shuttered windows and hidden rooms full of things men had wanted for too long. “You showed us what it takes to get what we want,” he said. “So now we’re done askin’. We’re takin’ the island.”
No folklore draped over it. No worried concern. No tavern manners or church-bell decency. Just appetite, clean and open and uglier for being honest. Tom shut his eyes briefly like the admission itself embarrassed him, but he didn’t deny it. Bran muttered, “Jesus Christ,” into his beard, though whether it was prayer, disgust, or simple fatigue was anyone’s guess. Orrin said nothing at all, which by now was practically a confession. Declan pushed on, flushed with the freedom of getting the truth outside his own teeth. “Kessler’s one lunatic on one rock. He don’t get to keep all that forever just because he’s meaner than the rest of us. You’d be wise to step aside.”
Daryl looked over them one by one again. Tom, who still wanted to believe there was some version of this that would let him sleep when it was over. Orrin, standing waist-deep in a tide he’d helped call in and already regretting the temperature. Bran, too tired for surprise and too implicated for innocence. Declan and the rest of the boys, hot with righteousness and not enough life behind them yet to know fear when it was standing right in front of them. And the others, the ones who had not said the worst of it aloud and had rowed out all the same. “So that’s it,” Daryl said. “That’s the plan.”
Nothing. The wind came hard off the water just then and flattened his coat against his back, shoving lamp flames sideways and making every hull in the crescent knock restlessly against the next. Widow Light rolled over them again in one slow, glacial sweep, bleaching faces, ropes, lantern glass, the pale undersides of hands braced on wet gunwales, and in that brief wash of white Daryl saw all of it together — fear, hunger, loneliness, piety, entitlement — all knotted up until none of them could tell one from the next anymore. When he spoke again, his voice had dropped lower, rougher, all the more dangerous for how little effort it carried. “You know what I think?” He said, waiting for them to be hanging on his word. “I think if we’d stayed in Hook, by mornin’ you’d have had some neat lil reason why she couldn’t leave.” His eyes found Tom first, then Orrin, then Bran, holding each of them just long enough to make looking away feel like exactly what it was. “Water ain’t right. Boat ain’t safe. Better let her rest. Better get my ass gone. Better keep her here, where you can all tell yourselves you’re doin’ right by her.” His mouth twisted, not quite a smile and nowhere near friendly. “And every last one of you would’ve slept just fine after callin’ it protection.”
Tom looked like he’d swallowed something spoiled. Orrin’s jaw worked once and stopped. Bran fixed on the slosh in the bottom of his boat with such fierce concentration it might have held his reflection captive there. The younger ones bristled immediately, but the older men — the older men looked tired. Cornered. Seen in a light they had not chosen. Finally Tom said, quieter now, “It wouldn’t have been like that.”
Daryl gave him a look so openly disbelieving it edged all the way into contempt. “Bullshit.”
One of the older men tried to recover something of his own dignity, voice fraying under the need to hear himself as decent. “You don’t understand what Hook is.”
Daryl’s answer came easy. “I do” he said. “That’s the problem. Places like yours — they don’t work. I’ve seen it. You just keep tellin’ yurselves it does.” And for a second there was nothing but the sea, the lanterns, and thirty men hearing themselves being described too accurately to pretend it wasn’t spot on.
At the outer edge of the crescent, while every face stayed fixed on Daryl — some angry, some ashamed, some no longer bothering to hide how badly they wanted what sat behind him — a smaller skiff loosened itself from the line. No one announced it; it simply drifted free under cover of the argument and the dark, four men low in the hull, oars wrapped to keep from knocking, no lamp to throw them back into the story. The sea took them quietly and began to turn them around the black shoulder of St. Hale toward the lee side, where the service approach kissed the rock and the fort’s old bones met the water in a place no one was meant to use politely.
Daryl didn’t see it. What he saw was Tom still trying to hold the center of a thing that had already slipped past him, still shaping his mouth around reason as if reason had not already rowed out and armed itself. “We’re givin’ you a chance,” Tom said.
“Nah,” he said. “You’re givin’ yourselves one.” He planted himself harder in the wet stone, shifted the rifle in his hands, and let the boats feel the finality of him. “Last chance,” he said. “Row away now.”
Tom held his gaze a long moment, all his tired reason worn down to the nub. “Dixon,” he said at last, “be smart.”
Daryl’s eyes narrowed. “Should take your own advice.”
The boats rocked restlessly on the chop. Widow Light turned and washed over them all again, colder this time, leaving the lanterns looking smaller when it moved on. In that brief flare of white Daryl caught one more thing — not the missing skiff, not yet, but the way Bran kept glancing, not at him, but past him and up toward the fort, like a man waiting for a sign from somewhere else. Waiting for the next move in a game he was already too deep in to pretend he wasn’t playing
———————————
The little skiff came around the lee side of St. Hale with all the grace of a bad idea trying not to splash. The four men in it sat lower than they needed to, shoulders hunched into the dark as if stealth were something you could compensate for by looking personally offended at the water. At the bow, Seamus — who had appointed himself leader of this venture mostly because he was the loudest and had once repaired a diesel engine in a storm and never let anyone forget it — rowed with the irritable, punishing strokes of a man convinced the sea was misbehaving specifically to annoy him.
Behind him, Niall and Pádraig took turns being useless in subtly different ways. Niall, broader and pinker, had the eager breathing of someone who had never once in his life snuck up on anybody successfully and thought this might be the night he developed the talent. Pádraig, who looked enough like him in the dark that people often called them the wrong names and eventually stopped apologising, kept gripping and re-gripping the boat hook as if he expected to fight the entire island personally with a stick and optimism.
At the stern, Liam wished with growing sincerity that he had broken a leg at supper. Not because he was soft exactly. Just because he possessed the rare and deeply inconvenient quality of forethought. Everything about this had felt wrong from the moment they’d pushed off — too dark, too cold, too much rock and too little plan — and the sight of St. Hale looming up out of the water now, all wet black stone and old walls and narrow lights, had done absolutely nothing to improve his mood. “This is madness,” he whispered, for what had to be the eighth time.
Seamus didn’t bother looking back. “No, it’s initiative.”
“It’s gonna become a tragedy if you scrape that hull any louder,” Liam hissed. Niall turned his head. “You said not to talk.”
“I said not to talk loud,” Liam muttered. “There’s a difference, Christ.” Pádraig leaned past him just enough to stage-whisper, “I can smell chemicals.”
“Wonderful,” Liam said. “Maybe they’ll fix your brain while we’re at it.”
The skiff kissed stone with a dull little bump under the old service landing, and all four of them froze as if the island might shout back. The surf boomed somewhere lower down. Wind hissed over rock. Farther around the island, voices still rose and fell from the front standoff, too distant here to make out words, just enough noise to prove the distraction was holding. Seamus tied off badly and climbed out first. “Move,” he breathed.
The service approach was less a path than a habit worn into the island by years of one man doing things the hard way rather than admitting he needed help. Wet stone steps cut into the rock. Iron handholds rusted and salt-eaten. A narrow service door above, lamplight leaking faint and gold around its edges. Liam looked at that light and felt his stomach sag. “This is where we die.”
“No,” Seamus said. “This is where we win.”
Behind him, Niall tripped on nothing and caught himself on Pádraig’s shoulder hard enough to make them both grunt.
Liam shut his eyes for one patient second. “Yeah right,” he murmured. “Because thi is the dream team alright.”
The service door wasn’t locked properly. That should have felt lucky. Instead it felt like the sort of luck men only noticed later while describing the first in a long chain of mistakes.
Seamus eased it open with one hand on the latch and the other curled around the knife at his belt. The door gave with a soft complaint of old hinges. Warmth drifted out. Light too. Along with the smell of alcohol, boiled metal, damp, and something sharper beneath it that made Liam’s skin pebble all over again. “Blood,” he whispered.
“Very observant,” Pádraig muttered.
Inside, St. Hale felt larger than it had from the water and somehow more intimate, which Liam disliked on principle. Narrow corridors of old stone and patched plaster. Lamps lit low. A floor swept recently enough that dust didn’t soften every footfall. Somewhere deeper in, a door stood open and a man was humming to himself. All four of them stopped.
It wasn’t a cheerful hum exactly. It was absentminded, tuneless, content in the eerie way of someone deeply occupied and perfectly at home in his own little kingdom. The sound drifted down the corridor, broke once on the edge of a wall, then came back clearer. Seamus mouthed, Kessler.
Niall mouthed back, for no useful reason, Kessler. Pádraig nodded to himself as if this had added value. Liam considered walking back to the boat and allowing the rest to say whatever they liked. Instead he followed them.
They crept past a half-open storeroom first, and Niall, whose eye for the important thing had always favoured the immediately shiny over the strategically wise, gasped and darted sideways. “
What?” Seamus whispered furiously. Niall emerged two seconds later holding up a pistol like he had personally invented firearms. Liam stared at him. “Where was that, then?”
“Cabinet.” Pádraig leaned in to peer. “Only one? Where’s mine?”
“Mostly empty,” Niall whispered. “Ammo too. Barely anything.”
Pádraig attempted to snatch that pistol from Niall, hissing that he was a better shot, to which Niall snorted ‘the hell you are’ and the tug of war was only stopped when seamus slapped both of them on the back of the head. “The hell is wrong with you idiots?”
“Don’t open that can of worms,” Liam chided.
Sighing, Seamus motioned to keep going. “Ya that’s it then he must’ve moved the rest the.”
Liam, who was the only one among them capable of thinking two thoughts in sequence, wondered privately whether maybe the hillbilly on the rocks had done that rather than Kessler, but no one had asked him and he had no intention of improving the evening by becoming useful.
The humming stopped. All four men went rigid.
Then came the sound of metal being set down, cloth moving, the squeak of rubber wheels or some old trolley, and Kessler’s voice, muttering to himself in the next room with the intimate irritation of a man who worked better alone and knew it. “Well, it looks like I’ve still got it…”
Seamus looked at the others, eyes bright and ugly with the thrill of a plan succeeding farther than it had any right to. Now.
The exam room lay open ahead of them, warm and bright in a way the rest of the island wasn’t. Steel table under a lamp. Trays. Bottles. Towels. You on the table bandaged and still and very clearly out cold, pale under the wash of light and wrapped in a blanket somebody had only half managed to tuck around you. Kessler stood beside you with a chart in one hand and a cloth in the other, turned half away as he prepared to move you somewhere else.
For one tiny impossible second, the whole thing looked so absurdly workable that none of them moved. Then Niall whispered, in genuine wonder, “Holy shit.”
That ruined the elegance of it somewhat. Kessler half-turned, annoyed first and alarmed only a fraction later, which was all the fraction Seamus needed. He lunged. Pádraig followed half a beat behind, boat hook abandoned, knife out and wobbling in a grip nobody in the room should have trusted.
It was not a good ambush but with a bit of dumb luck it was a successful one.
Kessler got one elbow into Seamus’s ribs, one furious, “Oh, for fuck’s sake,” and then Pádraig’s knife was at his throat and Niall, to his eternal surprise, had not dropped the pistol yet.
Liam reached the doorway last and stopped there, because by then the room had already become one of those situations where more people inside only made the geometry worse.
Kessler froze — not with fear exactly. More with the insult of a very intelligent man being briefly outnumbered by idiots.
For one glorious, terrible second, all four of them just stared at you on the table. Pádraig swallowed audibly. “She’s really out.”
“Thank every saint in the county,” Liam breathed. “If she’d been awake this would’ve gone very differently.” Niall, still holding the pistol like it might bite him, looked from you to Kessler and back again with naked amazement. “We actually did it.” Seamus straightened a little, chest going out under his coat as victory arrived in him all at once and found a place to live. “Course we did.”
Kessler’s voice came out dry against the knife. “You four have the tactical subtlety of a kicked wasp nest.”
Pádraig pressed the blade a little closer, enough to nick skin. “Don’t get smart.”
“My apologies,” Kessler said. “I forgot about the significant IQ gap between me and you four.”
Seamus ignored that and stepped toward the table. You looked smaller unconscious than you had on the rocks or back at the Hook. Not weak, exactly. Just stripped of all the talking and glaring and fight that had made half of Widow’s Hook lose its collective mind in under an hour. Bandages were wrapped clean around your eyes and upper face. Your mouth had gone slack with whatever Kessler had used to keep you under. There was a line in your arm. Medical tape. A blanket. The whole thing made Liam feel, for the first time, a sharp little jab of this may in fact be a terrible plan.
Seamus did not share that hesitation. He bent, got both hands under you, and grunted in irritation when nothing about lifting an unconscious person felt how it looked in his head. “She heavier asleep or something?”
“Or maybe you are just really weak,” Liam muttered, grinning when Seamus shot him a glare. Niall shoved the pistol into his own belt and helped, and between the two of them they got you up in a rough, graceless bundle and then onto Seamus’s shoulder like a sack of grain.
Kessler made an actual noise of outrage. “Careful with her, you moron.”
That checked them just enough that Seamus adjusted his grip. “What?”
“I was operating on her ten minutes ago,” Kessler snapped. “If you tear anything or drop her on the floor, I’ll kill you before he does.”
It was pretty obvious who Kessler meant by ‘he’.The fact that he said it with complete sincerity gave all four men pause. Liam, who had no business being the reasonable one here and resented it, said, “Maybe don’t swing her around, then.”
“Thank you, Mr. Foley,” Kessler said acidly. “A rare triumph for common sense.”
Liam blinked. “How d’you know my name?”
“I knew your dad. Your prominent chin and roman nose gave it away.”
A loaded quiet settled and for some reason that boosted morale in exactly the wrong man.
Seamus gave a sharp little laugh and hauled the woman higher over his shoulder, trying and failing to look natural with a sedated patient and a knife-point hostage in the same room. “Well boys,” he said, “looks like the island’s ours already.” Pádraig grinned in the ugly, breathless way of a man who had not expected to get this far and was now trying to behave like it had always been inevitable.
Niall was already halfway into the future. “Can you imagine their faces when they see this?” he said. “You hear the horn? Whole Hook’s gonna lose its damn mind.”
Kessler rolled his eyes toward the ceiling with the exhausted bitterness of a man who had once held medical licenses and now apparently held conversations like this. “Please tell me none of you are breeding.”
Liam made a strangled sound that might have been a laugh in a more forgiving world.Seamus jerked his head toward the door. “Move.”
When kessler didn’t, Pádraig pressed the blade again, nervous enough now that the tip wobbled. “Move,” he repeated.
“Oh, I heard you the first time,” Kessler said. “I was simply taking a moment to be disappointed.” He moved this time.
Out into the corridor. Down the service stairs. Niall behind him with the pistol held in an alarming approximation of competence, Pádraig glued to Kessler’s shoulder with the knife, Seamus carrying you, still unconscious, and breathing like he had just personally towed a whale ashore, Liam at the back wondering whether there was still time to defect to a monastery.
The descent was not graceful.
Seamus nearly clipped your head on the stone once and got such a vicious hiss of “Watch her, you subhuman anchor” from Kessler that even Pádraig looked embarrassed. Niall almost dropped the pistol down the stairs.
Liam caught the back of Seamus’s coat when he slipped on the last wet step and thought, not for the first time that night, it is honestly incredible that any of us are still alive.
“Jesus Christ give her to me,” Liam groaned, not waiting to hear Seamus’ response. He took you in his arms, keeping your head up this time. He heard Kessler let put a sigh of relief and Seamus practically cringe when he saw that Liam barely acknowledged your wait. “Well, that’s hardly fair cuz your younger and…” he grumbled and trailed off, trying to hold onto his masculinity with a slipping grip.
But they made it to the skiff. The sea took them back with a slap and rock and the little boat dipped dangerously under the combined weight of victory, hostage, old doctor, and human error. Seamus and Liam settled you in the center on a heap of tarps and rope with all the tenderness of dockworkers unloading timber. Kessler was shoved in after her and very nearly pushed overboard, which would have been funny if he hadn’t recovered by grabbing Niall by the front of his coat and using him to stay upright. “Marvelous,” he said. “Kidnapped by amateurs.”
Niall peeled his hand off with injured dignity. “Oh like you could do better old man.”
Pádraig untied the line with the speed of someone who had just remembered there was still a rifleman waiting on the far side of the island. Niall, drunk on success now, actually laughed as he took up the oars. “Can you believe this?”
“No,” Liam said honestly.
Seamus looked toward the dark curve of the main beach where the rest of the Hook boats still circled and shouted and waited. “Get us around. Fast.”
As the skiff turned, the men were already talking over one another, flushed and wild and half-dazed by the fact that their stupid ‘plan’ had somehow produced exactly what they wanted. The woman. Kessler. The island, effectively, once the others saw proof enough. “Told you,” Niall was saying. “Told you he’d have her inside.”
“Didn’t tell us you’d near shoot your own foot getting in,” Liam muttered. Pádraig grinned into the dark. “Wait till they see.”
“Wait till Kerrigan hears,” Seamus said, satisfaction roughening his voice. “Wait till every stubborn bastard in Hook sees we did what none of them had the guts to do.”
Kessler, seated on the bottom boards with his wrists pinned awkwardly in Niall’s line of sight, glanced at the you beside him and then up at Seamus with a look of almost paternal pity. “You know,” he said, “for men declaring victory, you are all astonishingly bad at this.”
Seamus turned. “Shut up.”
“By all means. It will improve the quality of the operation.”
Pádraig actually snorted. Liam looked at him in disbelief. “Are you laughing with the hostage?”
“I’m not laughing with him,” Pádraig said. “I’m laughing at him.”
“Reassuring distinction,” Kessler murmured. Then the skiff rounded the rock enough that the front crescent of boats came back into view, lanterns bobbing, voices carrying. Seamus grabbed the horn at the bow. For one heartbeat he held it there, savouring the moment with the full, ridiculous pride of a man who had never gotten to be the centre of anything before and fully intended to enjoy it now that it had stumbled into his lap.
Then he blew, the horn splitting the night wide open.
Every boat in the crescent turned toward it at once. Daryl felt the sound go through him before he understood it, not just because it was loud but because it was wrong. Not the uncertain blare of men trying to intimidate from the dark, not one more blast in the ugly rhythm of the standoff, but something cleaner. Sharper. A signal. A call meant to say it’s done.
Daryl watched Tom’s face change in the lantern-light, not with triumph exactly, but with the grim settling of someone who had been waiting on a result and just got one. The last of the peacemaker’s strain fell off him. What remained looked older and meaner. “Well,” Tom called across the water, voice carrying clean now that the waiting was over, “we gave you your chance.”
The rifle in Daryl’s hands felt suddenly too light. Tom spread his hands, not apologetic, not placating anymore. Just final. “We’re taking the island. That’s the only outcome o’ this now.” That moved through the boats around him, a dark little stiffening, men straightening with the relief of no longer having to pretend they were here to talk. “There’s thirty of us,” one of the younger men shouted. “What’d you think was gonna happen?”
The lanterns moved on the chop, flashing yellow off wet hulls and rope and faces gone ugly with expectation, and somewhere in the split second after the horn and before Tom’s words had finished settling, Daryl’s eyes found the gap.
One skiff missing. His stomach dropped clean and hard. Then it came around the black shoulder of the island. The boat showed itself slowly, first only a shape moving wrong against the water, then a lantern catching one side, then the blunt little horror of what rode in it. Kessler, tied and shoved low in the hull. And you. Bandaged. Bound. Slumped in a heap of blanket and rope like something dragged half-finished out of a grave.
For one bright, vicious second the whole beach lost its shape. The boats, the burning lanterns, Tom’s voice still trying to sound like reason in the middle of all this — all of it dropped away under the single brutal fact of you. Tied; bandaged; slumped in the middle of that skiff like something stolen out of a church.
“Dixon—” Tom started, but Daryl had already raised the rifle.
“Let her go.” He didn’t shout it — didn’t need to. The words came out stripped flat by the cold and the fear and the sudden, suffocating precision of a man whose whole world had just narrowed to one moving target.
The men in the skiff jolted at the sound of it. The boat itself rocked under their surprise, lantern-light jumping across wet wood and rope and the pale, awful line of your bandages. Seamus — red-faced, breathless, ugly with the thrill of getting this far alive — grabbed you by the arm and hauled you half upright with all the care of a butcher yanking meat onto a block.
Your head tipped back uselessly. Even from the shore, Daryl could see how wrong your body looked in his hands. Too loose. Drugged or fading or both. “Stand down!” Seamus shouted, voice cracking around the command because it was easier to sound like a leader when a knife was involved. Daryl’s rifle didn’t waver. “You let her go right now.”
In the same skiff, the other one — Niall, Daryl thought dimly, though if he got the right idiot or not didn’t matter — fumbled the gun into something like a threat and pointed it wildly in Kessler’s direction, as if to prove they had more than one bad idea between them and all of them were loaded wrong. Tom’s voice came over the water, lower now, trying to force order back into a situation that had already slipped its leash. “Put it down, Dixon. Nobody needs to die.”
Debatable. Daryl barely heard him. All he could see was the rope biting your wrists. The angle of your neck. The fact that you still weren’t moving enough. He took one slow step farther into the wash, freezing water breaking white around his boots. “I said let her go, asshole.”
Seamus’s grin sharpened. He shoved the knife up under your jaw, the blade catching lantern-light as it kissed skin. “Sure,” he called. “Just lower your gun and I’ll set her down nice and gentle.”
Daryl’s finger settled harder against the trigger. His whole body had gone cold and exact in a way he hated, every possible shot opening and closing in his head too fast to keep. Knife hand. Shoulder. Lantern. Hull. Seamus through the ribs. Niall in the throat. Tom in the chest if he moved wrong. But not one of them clean enough. Not one of them safe enough. Not with you right there in the middle of every angle.
He knew they wouldn’t slit your throat — he was confident in that, though how far he was willing to bet on it he wasn’t sure. These bastards were too twisted up in whatever they thought you were to kill you clean. But obsession did not make them harmless. And it did not tell him how far stupidity might go once cornered and given an audience.
You were floating somewhere ugly and shallow when the voices started reaching you properly. Not the sea first — though that was there too, cold under everything, rocking and slapping and hissing at the sides of the boat — but voices, too loud and too far away at once, as if someone had buried the world in wool and then started shouting over it. Your body hurt in strange, disconnected places. Your face felt tight and heavy. Your head swam every time you tried to understand where up was.
You were cold — that came through cleanest. Cold under your clothes, cold in your teeth, cold in the backs of your knees and the line of your spine. Not water-cold exactly. After-cold. Drugged cold. Shock-cold.
Then movement — hand clamped around your arm and yanked. Pain flashed bright and mean somewhere near your eyes and down the side of your neck. You made a sound without meaning to, something small and useless, and somebody above you laughed too quickly.
The smell hit next. Salt, diesel, old fish, wet wool, blood.
Then Daryl’s voice. Not the words at first. Just him. The shape of him in the air, hard enough to split through everything else. You didn’t open your eyes — if they were open at all, you couldn’t have said — but the world gained edges. Your wrists ached. Rope. Your legs too, bound. Your stomach dropped a little as the boat shifted under you and some ugly animal part of your mind caught up enough to understand boat, sea, bad.
The knife at your throat was cold enough to register through all of it, completely freezing you still.
Seamus smiled out across the water, blood still dried dark at one nostril from the earlier crack to the face, and the sight of Daryl holding that rifle without firing clearly did wonders for his confidence.
“Ah, who am I kiddin’,” he called. “You’re right. Can’t cut her throat. Don’t got it in me.” The words came with that awful little upward lilt some men got when they thought admitting mercy made them the hero of their own story. He then bent down, hooked one arm under your knees and the other behind your back and lifted your body toward the side of the skiff, your head lolling uselessly with the motion. The bandages around your eyes caught the lantern-glow and flashed pale as bone. “But I can chuck her over,” he bellowed, almost cheerful now, drunk on the shape of Daryl’s attention. “Let’s see how she swims huh? Out cold. Hands and feet tied.” He shifted his grip to swing you farther over the gunwale, enough that the black water below breathed cold and endless beneath you. “That’d settle it, wouldn’t it?””
The sea under the skiff rolled dark and depthless, the hard little catches of lantern-light and suggestion of something bottomless beyond it.
Daryl’s heart did something ugly and immediate in his chest. “Don’t you dare.” That was the first true crack in him all night, and every man in every boat heard it. He lifted one hand from the rifle. Then the other, practically in slow motion, and opened both palms in the swinging lantern-light where they could all see. The surf hissed around his boots. Behind him, St. Hale loomed black and helpless and much too far away. In front of him, thirty men watched a husband learn exactly how much of his pride he was willing to lay down in public if it meant keeping his wife breathing.
Seamus grinned at the sight of it, bright and ugly with triumph. “Thought so.”
And that was the moment you made your moved; not gracefully,not even cleverly or with any of the elegance you would later wish you could claim. But you had heard enough of these fuckass men speaking, felt enough, understood enough and ultimately, you fucking had enough. The knife. The water. Daryl’s voice gone wrong in a way you never wanted to hear again. So when Seamus shifted his hold to swing you farther over the side, you let your body go with it just enough to buy the angle and then threw your head back as hard as you could. Bone met cartilage with a thick, wet crack. Seamus howled, the knife hand jerking wide as blood exploded from his nose, and his grip on you loosened.
And apparently, that was all Kessler needed. The old man moved with a speed so at odds with his age and general air of cultivated uselessness that for one astonished instant nobody in the skiff understood what they were looking at. One second he was trussed and cornered in the bottom boards, sour-faced and dripping and apparently at the mercy of four men with all the tactical polish of a drunk card game, and the next he had flung himself sideways with the vicious, committed economy of somebody who had spent a lifetime hating incompetence and had finally, finally found a physical outlet for it. His shoulder drove low, his bound legs came up together, and both boots slammed square into Pádraig with all the grace of a mule kick and all the mercy of a falling safe.
The sound Pádraig made did not belong in a human throat. He folded instantly, knife and all, collapsing inward around himself with a strangled, organ-deep howl while the whole skiff rocked so hard the gunwale dipped and sent black water slapping over the side. Niall yelled. Liam swore. Seamus, still reeling from the crack of your skull into his nose, lost what remained of his grip on both dignity and control. For half a beat the four of them were no longer captors or a coordinated assault team or whatever heroic nonsense they’d been calling themselves in their heads on the row over. They were simply four idiots in a small boat discovering, all at once, that their hostage was waking, their doctor was violent, their knife man had just been unmade from the waist down, and they had made a series of truly appalling life choices.
too far away. In front of him, thirty men watched a husband learn exactly how much of his pride he was willing to lay down in public if it meant keeping his wife breathing.
Seamus grinned at the sight of it, bright and ugly with triumph. “Thought so.”
And that was the moment you made your moved; not gracefully,not even cleverly or with any of the elegance you would later wish you could claim. But you had heard enough of these fuckass men speaking, felt enough, understood enough and ultimately, you fucking had enough. The knife. The water. Daryl’s voice gone wrong in a way you never wanted to hear again. So when Seamus shifted his hold to swing you farther over the side, you let your body go with it just enough to buy the angle and then threw your head back as hard as you could. Bone met cartilage with a thick, wet crack. Seamus howled, the knife hand jerking wide as blood exploded from his nose, and his grip on you loosened.
And apparently, that was all Kessler needed. The old man moved with a speed so at odds with his age and general air of cultivated uselessness that for one astonished instant nobody in the skiff understood what they were looking at. One second he was trussed and cornered in the bottom boards, sour-faced and dripping and apparently at the mercy of four men with all the tactical polish of a drunk card game, and the next he had flung himself sideways with the vicious, committed economy of somebody who had spent a lifetime hating incompetence and had finally, finally found a physical outlet for it. His shoulder drove low, his bound legs came up together, and both boots slammed square into Pádraig with all the grace of a mule kick and all the mercy of a falling safe.
The sound Pádraig made did not belong in a human throat. He folded instantly, knife and all, collapsing inward around himself with a strangled, organ-deep howl while the whole skiff rocked so hard the gunwale dipped and sent black water slapping over the side. Niall yelled. Liam swore. Seamus, still reeling from the crack of your skull into his nose, lost what remained of his grip on both dignity and control. For half a beat the four of them were no longer captors or a coordinated assault team or whatever heroic nonsense they’d been calling themselves in their heads on the row over. They were simply four idiots in a small boat discovering, all at once, that their hostage was waking, their doctor was violent, their knife man had just been unmade from the waist down, and they had made a series of truly appalling life choices.
Daryl didnt hesitate. The hand he had lifted in surrender dropped, not slowly now, not cautiously, but with the whip-fast inevitability of a trap springing shut. The grenade was already in his palm. He yanked the pin with his teeth, tasted metal and old grease and one sharp second of decision, and sent it in a hard, ugly arc straight for Tom’s boat. For one impossible heartbeat, the whole beach held still around that little shape tumbling end over end through lantern-light. Tom saw it first. Daryl knew because he saw the exact instant recognition hit him — the widening of the eyes, the collapse of every careful word he’d been trying to wrap around this night, the split-second naked horror of a man understanding too late that he had misjudged where the line was and who was willing to cross it first. “Down—!”
The explosion tore the word in half. It did not simply go off. It seemed to punch the night inside out. Light came first, hard and white-orange and so sudden it turned every boat, every man, every wet rope and lantern pole and lifted face into a stark cut-out against the dark before obliterating all of it in fire and force. Then sound — not one sound but a whole stack of them arriving at once, the crack of the blast, the splintering shriek of timber, the metallic scream of fittings shearing loose, men yelling before they knew they’d been hit, lantern glass bursting, somebody in the middle of it all making a high animal noise that did not stop quickly enough.
Tom’s boat seemed to lift in the middle and come apart at both ends. Wood flew. Nets whipped loose and caught flame. A shower of shattered planks and burning oil rained down across the chop while the nearest hulls, hit broadside by the wave of force, slammed into one another in wild, panicked collision. One boat rode up over the side of another and tipped two men straight into the black water between them; one came up screaming, the other didn’t come up at all. A lantern spun away trailing fire, hit the diesel sheen spread across the surface, and suddenly the sea itself was burning in broken orange ribbons between the boats.
The whole crescent disintegrated. Men who had rowed out feeling brave and numerous and chosen were now ducking blind, clawing at one another, slipping on wet boards, grabbing for oars, guns, knives, anything that still belonged to a world where they had the upper hand. One shrieking idiot pitched clean over the side when his own boat rebounded off another and landed in the surf so hard it knocked the breath out of him before the cold could. Another fired wildly into the dark and nearly took off his mate’s ear. Somebody farther back yelled for everybody to hold the line, which would have been admirable if the line had not already become a floating bonfire of cracked wood, scattered men, and deep,deep regret.
The blast hit the skiff a heartbeat later. Not directly — thank God for small mercies and dumb luck — but close enough that the shockwave came off the water and under the hull like a giant hand, lifting one side of the little boat so violently that for a second everything in it lost its agreement with gravity. The lantern hanging at the bow swung madly and went out. Someone screamed. Someone else dropped flat by instinct and nearly pitched himself overboard anyway. Black water slapped over the gunwale in a freezing sheet and turned the bottom boards slick as oil.
You hit those boards hard enough to see white behind your bandages.A knee. A shoulder. The side of your face. Pain flashed everywhere at once, bright and stupid and immediate, but before your body could decide whether to curl around it or vomit from it, a hand clamped onto your shoulder and tried to haul you back.Another hand reached for the knife Seamus had lost when your skull broke his nose. The skiff bucked again.
Kessler’s voice cut through the dark like a wire drawn tight.“Left of you.”
Aye aye captain.
An angle of somebody’s breath too close and the old bad instinct that kept you alive came into fierce focus, switching you into gear faster than panic ever could. If hands were reaching for your throat then hands simply needed to stop belonging to people.
You turned into the sound on reflex alone and found flesh. The knife came free in the scramble and into your hand all in one ugly, blessed motion you would not have been able to repeat on land with both eyes working and a week of sleep behind you. Pádraig, the man grabbing for you made a startled little noise — more offense than fear, as if he genuinely couldn’t believe the sedated hostage had chosen aggression — and then Kessler snapped, “Higher — there,” and your arm obeyed before your mind did.
The blade opened his throat in a hot, wet rush. He dropped against the gunwale with both hands at his neck, making a horrified bubbling sound that the sea and wind grabbed at immediately. Blood spread black in the dark, then flashed red for half a second where distant firelight caught it. The boat rocked under his dead weight, and one of the others, Seamus, trying to scramble backward fast enough to avoid both you and him, planted a boot on the wrong board and simply vanished with a shriek over the side.
There was a splash, then furious thrashing, like a cat in a bath tub. Then a stream of swearing from the water that told you one of the four was still technically in the fight, just no longer in the boat, which honestly felt like a him problem
Niall — the one who had been trying very hard not to be the first coward and was now discovering that principle was expensive — lunged anyway. Panic had made him brave in exactly the useless way panic always did, all speed and no sense. You heard the rush of him more than saw or felt it, the boat pitching under his movement, and your body did what it had been trained to do long before blindness and surgeries and weird cult medicine made everything harder.
Shift; angle; don’t meet force head-on if the floor is moving under both of you. Kessler, still tied at the wrists and somehow managing to boss people around even now, barked, “Forward. Stomach.” You stepped into the lurch of the skiff instead of away from it, let the wave under the hull throw your weight where it wanted to go, and drove the knife forward under his ribs. There was resistance first, a sickening, muscular drag. Then suddenly none at all. The sound he made was awful — not cinematic, not dramatic, just utterly human and betrayed — and for one insane second he seemed so affronted by the whole experience that if he’d had time he might genuinely have complained. Then he folded over the blade and crashed sideways into Liam, who had by now fully abandoned any philosophical commitment to the plan and was trying to get out of the skiff without it technically counting as fleeing first. The collision took both of them half down. Liam yelped. The wounded man slid, twitching, into the bottom boards with his boots still kicking at empty air.
You sucked in a breath that hurt all the way down. Your whole body had started shaking. Not from hesitation but from pain, from cold. From the surgery and the boat and the Atlantic and the fact that you had woken up half-bandaged, half-drugged, tied at the wrists, and chosen violence before even uttering a word. A laugh wanted to crawl up your throat at the absurdity of that and got nowhere.
The skiff was still rocking in the aftermath of the blast, rolling broadside to the chop now that no one sane was handling it. Beyond it, men were shouting across the water in overlapping bursts. Something else exploded farther down the line. One burning lantern spun slowly on the surface like a little orange moon refusing to go out.
Kessler had made it upright somehow. He stood braced wide against the pitch of the boat, rope still hanging from one wrist, looking down at the two bodies in the bottom as if they represented not danger or moral crisis but a deeply irritating administrative problem.“Shouldn’t we uhh… ‘take care’ of them?” he asked grimly, with air quotes as in case he was being obvious enough.
You turned your bandaged face toward him, breath tearing in and out of you. “No we don’t. He blinked. It was, frankly, the wrong answer for the sort of man he was. One of the dead men twitched again. Not reanimating yet, just dying very poorly.
You shoved yourself toward him on your knees, one hand slipping in seawater and blood and rope fibers, grabbed at the nearest coat with both bound hands, and hauled with all the graceless determination of somebody who had run out of better options ten minutes ago.
Kessler stared in horror as you shoved the body toward the edge of the skiff. “Let them turn,” you said. “They can help us.”
The idea hit him in visible stages. First, offence; then comprehension. Then, to your deep surprise, a short, astonished bark of laughter that had absolutely no place in the middle of a burning harbor battle. “Mrs. Dixon,” he said, sounding almost impressed against his will, “you are appalling.”
“Not all of us got to hold up in our very own private island,” you barked at him. “This is what survival looks like princess — now are you gonna help me out or let the blind chick do everything for you?”
He didn’t say anything back because that would only prove your point. He moved at once, and now that he understood the assignment the whole thing got easier in the ugliest possible way. Between the two of you — you dragging with your hands still tied and every muscle in your body trying to seize up from protest, Kessler kicking and levering and swearing like a dockworker cursed with a medical degree — you got the first body up against the gunwale.
The skiff rolled hard just then. The body nearly slid back in. Kessler shoulder-checked it with a sound of personal insult and sent it over. It hit the water with a heavy slap and vanished in black churn striped orange by reflected fire.
The second one was worse because he was fresher and larger and had the bad manners to still be making wet little throat noises as you shoved him. Liam, who had flattened himself into the farthest corner of the skiff and seemed to be having a religious experience centered around regret, made a strangled sound when the corpse’s hand caught briefly on his boot.
“Oh, for God’s sake,” Kessler snapped. “Either help or drown.” Liam chose neither, which was in keeping with the quality of his decision-making all evening.The boat jolted under his weight, abandoning ship with a splash. He swam in the opposite direction for probably the first and last time of his life.
You and Kessler heaved together one last time, awkward and brutal and with none of the dignity either of you deserved, and the second body toppled over the side, hit the black water, and disappeared into the rocking, burning mess beyond.
For half a second the skiff emptied of everything but you, Kessler, Liam, and the sounds of the gunshots keeping time. And the sea — delighted now, finally invited to the party properly — kept taking bodies as if it had all night to sort the living from the dead.
Out on the beach and through the smoking wreck of the boats, Daryl moved up and down the black shine of the tide line with that stripped-down, terrible purpose some people only ever reached in the exact worst moment — when fear had burned itself so hot it came out the other side as precision. Firelight kept finding him in pieces: the hard angle of his shoulders as he shouldered the rifle and fired, the flash of his profile as he turned through smoke, the wet shine of surf around his shins while he moved like the water had offended him personally and would be dealt with in due course. Each shot found somebody. Not theatrically, not with any flourish, just with the cold, practiced economy of a bowman who had spent too much of his life knowing exactly what needed to be done.
One Hook man got halfway over the side of a ruptured skiff before Daryl’s bullet caught him high in the chest and folded him backward into the burning shallows. Another tried to rally two others behind the broken lantern post and lost half his skull for the effort. A third slipped on blood and wet rope, looked up just in time to see Daryl already sighting on him, and vanished into the dark water with a scream that got chopped in half by the next blast.
And still the whole thing did not look like victory. That was what made it worse.
It looked like a slaughterhouse with no walls. Boats split open and bumping one another in the surge, lanterns floating loose and turning the black water orange in streaks, men shouting different orders in different directions, the dead and the not-yet-dead beginning to sort themselves badly under the pressure of heat and noise. Every time it seemed as though the Hook line had finally shattered, another cluster of them appeared through smoke or spray or reflected firelight, climbing over wreckage, rowing hard for shore, trying to regroup on whatever bit of ground had not yet killed them.
The skiff under you pitched violently as another shockwave rolled under it from farther down the beach. Kessler braced one hand on the gunwale and the other over your bandaged face automatically, shielding what little he could from the flare of light. “Don’t,” he snapped when you tried to lift your head. “Unless blindness has suddenly become apart of your personality.” You shoved his hand away. “A little late to commit to that bit.” But the dark around you had changed. It no longer felt like cover. It felt like confusion, and confusion was never loyal to the side you wanted.
Not far from the skiff, Seamus clawed his way back up through the water.
He came up ugly and furious, coughing brine and blood, one side of his face slick where your head had opened his nose. “Oh bugger,” Kessler curse. “Seamus is coming back for another round.” For one mad second, imagining him stagger upright with the surf at his thighs and one arm already reaching back toward the skiff, your stomach dropped. Because there he was, still alive, still coming, and behind him — farther out in the chop — two more shapes were wading your way through the broken water.
Niall. Pádraig. For one horrible, breathless instant the whole night contracted around that fact.
Two against three, Kessler tied off half-free and furious, you fresh from surgery and bandaged and cold and not nearly steady enough for another round of this, Seamus climbing back into the fight with murder finally replacing all that cheap swagger — and suddenly it looked, really looked, like this was it. Like all the noise and fire and rifle shots and explosions had only scattered the world enough to leave you stranded at the wrong end of it.
Seamus saw them too, and relief broke across his face so fast it was almost luminous. “Yes,” he gasped, half-laughing around blood. “Yeah. There y’are. There y’—” The rest of it died in his mouth. Because what was wading toward the boat was not backup.
Niall’s lantern-lit face came clear first, pale and wrong and emptied out of everything but appetite, his jaw hanging at a sick angle where the blast or a fall had half-unhinged it. Beside him Pádraig’s body moved with that jerking, sea-dragged insistence no living man ever had, head lolling, one eye gone to a dark socket packed with something black and fibrous like old weed. The waves kept lifting them and dropping them and still they came, hands out, not for rescue now but for meat.
Seamus froze. His brain, like most brains at the edge of their usefulness, took one fatal moment too long to understand what his eyes had already been given. “Niall?” he said, and then, smaller and much more honestly, “Oh shit.”
They hit him together. The water came alive around his waist in thrashing limbs and a scream so high it barely sounded human by the end. Niall caught his shoulder first. Pádraig went lower, teeth finding somewhere soft under the ribs or at the hip — you couldn’t tell and didn’t want to — and Seamus disappeared in a frenzy of black water, white foam, and flailing hands. For one savage second he reappeared half-upright, mouth open in a red howl, then the dead dragged him sideways and the sea folded over all three of them like it had been waiting.
For the millionth time you wished you had lost your hearing rather than your sight, because the visual of that could not compare to the atrocious sounds of seamus during dinner time. Kessler, beside you, said very quietly, “Well. Thats that.”
The beach had become impossible to read whole. Smoke and fire and surf kept rearranging it faster than the eye could trust, faster than thought could hold. But some things stood out anyway. Daryl moving through it, Daryl firing again, the rifle cracking bright and mean over the rush of water. A Hook man making a desperate break for the rocks and dropping instantly when a shot took him at the knee and sent him pitching into the line of walkers washing in behind him.
Another cluster breaking toward the high path. Kessler saw that and went rigid so fast the whole skiff seemed to feel it. “Oh god.”
You turned toward him. He was staring at the upper path, or where the upper path ought to be through all the wreckage and the moving lights, his face voice suddenly and completely raw in a way you hadn’t heard before. Not anger now. Fear. Pure and practical and old. “If they make the fort—”
The path lit all at once.
Not like fire catching by accident, not like lantern glow or reflected blast, but with the hard, magnesium-white violence of something engineered to blind God Himself. One second the narrow track above the beach was just black rock and shadow and running men. The next a flare line snapped alive under their feet and the whole side of the island blew into brutal daylight. The explosion that followed came a beat later and carried stone with it.
For a second everything was white. White path. White smoke. White faces. White spray as men were thrown sideways off their footing and into each other and into open air. One body pinwheeled clear of the rock and vanished. Two more crumpled together in a tangle of limbs and screaming. The few still upright broke instantly, no courage left in them after finding out the island itself had teeth.
Every walker on the shoreline turned toward the light. Kessler’s hand came back over your face automatically, rough and unceremonious, dragging your head into the side of his shoulder to shield your eyes from the worst of the flare.“Don’t look.” Because the whole beach was light now.
Too much of it. Enough to make the burning boats and the moving dead and the surf itself look surreal and overexposed and wrong. Enough to wipe detail from distance and leave only shape. And in all that light, suddenly, Daryl was gone. “Where’s Daryl? Can you see him?” You said, nudging Kessler to answer you. Wreckage blocked the line of shore where he had been moving a second ago — one half-sunken boat, one burning mast, a tangle of men and walkers in the shallows — and your stomach dropped so hard it was almost physical.
You shoved Kessler’s arm away and lurched upright too fast. The movement dragged one of the bandages loose. It slipped at the edge, enough to let a sliver of raw, watery vision in around the blur — not sharp, not clean, but more than black. Light and shape and motion smearing together horribly. Still no Daryl.
“Daryl!” This time your voice cracked. Kessler caught at your sleeve. “Do not be an idiot.”
But panic had already made its decision for you. You climbed out of the skiff.
The water hit at your thighs first, then your waist when the bottom dropped unexpectedly under one step, icy and rough and full of floating debris that knocked against your legs in the dark. You waded anyway, not gracefully, not sensibly, your body one long scream of post-surgery protest and cold and overexertion and none of it mattering because he was not answering.
Behind you Kessler swore with the deep personal venom of a man too old for this and came after you, splashing with all the fury of a doctor forced into field conditions by idiots. “Mrs. Dixon!There are thirty odd Hungry ones on this beach, thirty two if we don’t leave right now!”
You barely registered him.
The beach felt wrong underfoot once you hit it — soft shingle, broken boards, something slick that might have been weed or blood or both. You half-ran, half-stumbled up onto the wet stones, breath tearing in and out of you, the loosened bandage sliding lower until the world came in through one eye as a painful, watery blur. Firelight smudged. Figures doubled. Smoke moved like living things. Every outline hurt.
You always said he was gonna go out by own of his own explosions because it was his answer to fucking everything. Herd of walkers? Blow shit up. Building in the way? Blow it up. Need a distraction? Blow something up. Bad guys? Blow em up. And he’d say something moronic to you like well yeah i married a bombshell and you had to fight the urge to slap him. How many fucking times did you tell him to quit playing with explosives and now—
Then one of those blurred shapes broke from the smoke and started toward you at speed.
Tall. Bowed a little from exhaustion. Rifle hanging low now. A dark figure running through shin-deep surf as if the sea and every living thing in it had just spent the last ten minutes trying and failing to keep him from exactly this. “Daryl—”
You barely got the name out before crashed into you; enough force that all the fear you’d been holding up with sarcasm and adrenaline and bad decisions gave way at once. His arms came around you so tight your boots left the ground completely, and then you were against him — wet jacket, smoke, salt, blood, the brutal familiar shape of him — and for one insane moment both of you were laughing and crying at the same time in those ugly little sounds people make when their bodies don’t know which one survival is supposed to be.
“There y’are,” he said into your hair, voice wrecked. “Jesus Christ. I thought—.”
You clung to him just as hard. “I called for you jackass”
“I know.”
“How many explosions is it gonna take for you to admit you have a problem .”
That got a sound out of him that could have become a laugh in gentler circumstances. “Probably a few more.” He pulled back only far enough to look at you, his hands framing your face with a care so fierce it almost hurt more than the sea had. Your bandages hung half-loose, your vision through the gap a raw blur, but even through that you could tell his eyes were wet and furious and alive.
Behind the two of you, Kessler had made it up onto the beach and stopped. He stood there, dripping and breathing hard, one hand still half-raised from where he had clearly meant to keep shouting at you, and whatever he saw in the two of you arrested him completely. Something like astonishment softened his face. Not at the affection itself, maybe. At the fact that after all this noise and blood and idiocy, something in the world still ran this clean toward what it loved.
He smiled. Only a little. Only for a second. Then he schooled it away by turning practical again, because that was clearly the only way he knew how to survive seeing anything tender.
Daryl looked over your head at him and said, with what little voice he had left, “Well?”
Kessler glanced at your eyes, at the slipping bandages, at the way you were standing under your own power in spite of everything. “The surgery,” he said, and for once there was no sarcasm in him at all, “went as well as I could reasonably have hoped.” He spread one tired hand at the inferno behind you. “Given the evening.”
Daryl’s grip on you tightened, not enough to hurt, just enough to anchor. “That mean?”
Kessler looked at you directly then, and though your vision through the loosened bandage was still only a smear of light and shape, his voice reached you clear enough to carry the thing that mattered.
“It means I got in, relieved the pressure, cleared what I could clear, and saved more than I expected to save. It does not mean miracles. It does not mean perfection. It means, if your body cooperates and if inflammation settles instead of flaring, you may have functional sight worth keeping.” He paused, the old doctor in him surfacing again through the smoke and ruin. “Only time tells the rest.” Daryl let out a breath that sounded like something torn loose.
“You okay?” he asked, voice rough enough to catch on the words.
You nodded against his shoulder. Or tried to. Everything in you still felt a little unstitched, a little floaty and bruised and far behind itself, but Daryl was solid in the way only Daryl ever was, all heat and damp denim and smoke and that deep, hard thud of his heart where your cheek was pressed to his chest. You could hear him trying to catch his breath and failing to do it quietly, could feel the rise and fall of it under your arms as if his body had not yet gotten the message that the worst of it was over. “I’m upright,” you murmured.
“That ain’t what I asked.”
“Well It’s what I’ve got.”
The sound he made at that was half laugh, half something much more frayed. He dropped his chin onto the top of your head and kept you right there against him, one arm banded hard around your shoulders, the other low at your back as if letting you go even an inch might tempt the universe into trying again.
The beach around you hissed and crackled and spat.
What had been shoreline an hour ago now looked like the world had taken offense to itself. Broken hulls listed in the shallows, some half-submerged, some burning stubbornly from the inside out. Nets smoldered in heaps. Tar popped in the heat. Thirty-odd walkers — the drowned ones, the newly dead ones, the ones the Hook men had brought on themselves in every possible sense — wandered through the wreckage in flame, their clothes burning off them in strips, their bodies moving slow and blind and horrible in the smoke like human torches too stupid to understand they were already dead. Every now and then one stumbled, fell, and stayed down. Every now and then one didn’t.
You sniffled once, more from smoke and cold than anything else, and tightened your arms around Daryl’s middle like muscle memory.
Kessler stood a few feet away, staring out at the island.
Not the fort alone. Not the walls or the old windows or the lamps still burning where they should not have survived the night. He was looking at the whole thing — the stones under it, the shoreline below it, the black rise beyond where the graves sat, and all the years he had apparently wedged into the place like a man trying to mortar himself into rock.
When he finally spoke, it was softer than either of you had yet heard from him and not entirely aimed at either of you. “Well,” he said. “What the hell now.”
Daryl didn’t let go of you when he answered. He only lifted his head enough to look where Kessler was looking and then settled his chin back against your hair.
“We could clear the walkers,” he said. “Bury the bodies. Put out what we can.” His voice stayed practical because that was what Daryl did when the alternative was cracking wide open in public. “Least we can do, after what you did for her. N’after the mess we brought with us.”
Kessler gave him a tired glance. “Your talent for understatement is almost offensive.”
The old doctor looked back toward the fort. Smoke drifted around him in pale, dirty folds, softening the sharp lines of his face and making him seem for a second less like a relic and more like a man who had simply run out of time somewhere and kept living anyway.
Daryl shifted his footing in the wet stones and said, after a moment, “You stayed here for a reason righ’?”
That drew a longer silence than the others. The sea kept working around the broken boats, black water pushing in and out through the wreckage with all the patience in the world. Somewhere a half-burned hull gave a long, low groan and settled deeper.
At last Kessler said, “My wife is buried on the east side. Above the wall.” The words came without flourish, which was somehow what made them heavy. “She came here when it all went wrong. Not staff. Patient, technically.” His mouth twitched once without humor. “We met because she found me insufferable and I, like an idiot, found that compelling. Then the world ended.”
You stayed quiet against Daryl’s chest, listening. His hand moved once up your back, slow and absent, not soothing exactly, just making sure you were still there for him to touch.
“I told myself I stayed because of the island,” Kessler said. “The stores. The work. The principle of the thing. Men like me are very talented at dressing up guilt as duty if you give us enough years to practice.” He looked toward the dark rise beyond the fort again. “But yes. Mostly I stayed because she was here, and leaving felt too much like admitting I had failed her twice.”
Nothing in the night had prepared you for that, not really. For all his sharp edges and his whisky and his contempt and his endless ability to make kindness sound like an accusation, there it was underneath: the simplest grief in the world. A man standing guard over the place where love had ended because he had not yet learned how to stand anywhere else.
Daryl was quiet for a beat, then two. Then he said, “We got a community.”
Kessler looked at him. “Yeah?”
“Mhmm.” Daryl’s tone stayed gruff, but there was something unmistakably earnest in it too, buried under all the usual bark. “Walls. People — our family. More noise than you’d like. Probably less whisky than you’d prefer. But we always need doctors. ”
Kessler huffed a laugh that nearly broke halfway through. “That an invitation, Mr. Dixon, or a threat?”
“Bit o’ both.” You smiled against Daryl’s shirt. “It’s kinda always that way with him.”
Kessler glanced at you, and there it was again — that odd little current between you, sharp and dry and somehow warmer for refusing to admit it. You could feel Daryl notice it too in the tiniest shift of him, not jealous exactly, just aware. Kessler said, “And what do you think, Mrs. Dixon?”
You lifted your head enough to aim in his direction. The loosened bandage still let in only a raw, blurred suggestion of him — lamplight and smoke and one tired shape where a man stood — but his voice had become easy enough to find. “I think,” you said, and your own voice surprised you a little by how steady it sounded, “that life is too unfair and tragic to spend it alone.”
You felt it land in the quiet that followed, in the way Kessler didn’t move for a second, in the way Daryl’s hand spread a little wider over your back.
Then, because you were still you and sincerity unsupervised had always made you itchy, you added, “Also, if you stay here alone much longer you‘re gonna grow barnacles and maybe some tentacles and I think you’re already unbearable enough without being part seamonster.”
Kessler stared at you, then smiled. Not the little unwilling twitch he’d been rationing out all night. A real smile. Small, yes, and tired enough to hurt, but unmistakable. It changed his whole face in a way that made the loneliness in it suddenly much easier to see. “You are,” he said, “an exhausting patient.”
“And yet compelling,” you said sweetly. That actually got a laugh out of him.
Daryl made a low sound that might have been agreement or annoyance; with him it was often both.
Kessler looked back toward St. Hale one more time, then toward the east side where his wife lay, then at the two of you — soaked, smoke-streaked, impossible, still standing — and went quiet in the way of a man whose life had shifted under him without the courtesy of asking permission first.
Daryl seemed to take that for the answer it was.
He adjusted you in his arms as if you weighed nothing and finally started up the beach, carrying you over wet stones and scorched rope and the broken bones of the night. Your face stayed tucked against his chest where his heart was still hammering too hard, where every breath dragged through him like he was trying not to shake and mostly managing. Behind you Kessler followed more slowly, one hand still half-raised now and then to shield your eyes from flare and flame when the smoke shifted.
The island had survived. The beach looked like war and bad decisions and divine judgment all rolled together, and St. Hale itself stood above it smoke-streaked and singed and no longer innocent, but standing all the same. You let yourself look at it once more over Daryl’s shoulder — or rather let the blur of it settle into your mind as something you had crossed hell to reach and somehow lived to leave.
Then Daryl, apparently deciding he had tolerated enough pathos from everyone for one evening, reached up with one rough hand and tugged your slipping bandage back into place with all the tenderness of a man rehanging a curtain.
You jerked your head away. “Get your filthy hands off me.”
He grinned, laughing completely with his chest. You made an outraged noise and would have thumped him if your arms weren’t busy around his neck. Instead you settled for glaring in the approximate direction of his jaw while he kept walking, the absolute bastard. Then his hand slid lower and landed, unapologetically, on your ass.
You sucked in a breath. “Filthy animal.”
“What?”
“We literally almost died and your handsin’ me.”
“Yup.”
“There are still burning corpses.”
“Yup.”
Behind you, Kessler said, with exquisite dryness, “Please continue pretending I’m shocked by your marriage. It’s the only thing getting me through the smell.”
That made you laugh, and the laugh turned into another sniffle halfway through, and somehow that was all right too.
Daryl’s mouth brushed your temple in something not quite a kiss and not quite not. “C’mon,” he muttered, the words meant only for you now. “Let’s go home.”
BONUS
The council meeting had already begun to sag under its own seriousness. Not because anybody in the room had stopped paying attention, exactly, but because meetings about new arrivals always developed the same tired rhythm sooner or later: names, routes, vague tragedies, the careful dance between caution and mercy, somebody on the back bench shifting too loudly, somebody else deciding this was the perfect moment to cough into the silence. The church — or the town hall, depending on who you asked and whether they were trying to sound practical — held that sort of tension differently now than it used to. The old bones of the place still carried voices upward into the rafters, still made every scrape of a bench and every folded hand sound a little more important than it really was, but Alexandria had settled into itself enough that these meetings no longer felt like emergencies so much as obligations. Necessary. Weighty. Repetitive.
At the long table near the front, Michonne sat with that same impossible balance of calm and command she always had, one elbow on the arm of her chair, one hand curled loose near her mouth, listening with her whole body in that quiet way that made people tell the truth more often than they meant to. Gabriel sat beside her, hands folded, face open in a way that made strangers trust him and regulars forget just how much he noticed. Aaron leaned back a little farther down, his expression patient but not soft. A few others were scattered along the benches and walls — Rosita, half watching the room and half the doors; Eugene pretending not to stare too hard at the newcomers while very much staring too hard; a handful of citizens who’d come because they liked to know who was arriving and because in Alexandria those two things often meant the same thing.
At the center of it all stood the latest three men at the gate, roadworn and trying very hard not to look like they’d been practising their story for the walk in. They weren’t dramatic enough to be immediately suspicious, which in some ways was more suspicious than drama would have been. They said they were from the coast and it showed in the weathering of their coats, the pale crust of old salt at the seams, the way they planted their feet slightly apart without seeming to know they were doing it, like men more used to decks than floors. One was speaking — something about having heard of a walled community from people they’d crossed paths with a good while back, and how they’d been searching inland in fits and starts ever since — while the other two stood behind him with the strained stillness of people who knew exactly how much depended on every word.
Gabriel had just opened his mouth to ask who, exactly, they had heard it from when the horn sounded outside. It wasn’t the gate alarm - that was the first thing everyone in the room knew.
This was lower, more familiar, one blunt blast carrying in through the open high windows and shaking a little dust from the old beams. It wasn’t a warning for danger. It was a road signal. A return.
For one beat nobody moved. Then came the sound of hooves on packed dirt outside, quick and sure. Then another shout, distant at first and then nearer, bright enough to make half the room straighten before they had even understood why. “Open up!”
The church changed instantly. Benches creaked all at once. Heads turned toward the doors. One of the younger guards by the side wall actually broke into a grin before catching himself. Judith, who had absolutely not been supposed to be here for this meeting and had somehow ended up perched three benches from the back anyway, shot upright so fast Rosita had to catch the back of her shirt before she bolted.
Someone near the aisle said, in a voice already halfway to delight, “No way.” A second later another voice — farther back, louder, with none of the first one’s caution — said, “Holy shit, it’s them. The Dixons are back.”
Whatever order the meeting had possessed dissolved immediately under the warm, sudden current that ran through the room. People started talking over one another. Somebody laughed. Somebody else was already halfway to the door before remembering there was technically still a council meeting that was happening. Even Michonne smiled, though she did it with the kind of restraint that suggested she was annoyed by how easy it still was for you and Daryl to blow apart whatever serious atmosphere she had spent the last twenty minutes building. To the three men at the front, she held up one hand without looking at them. “Stay where you are.” They did - mostly because they were too confused not to.
Outside, the sounds grew nearer in pieces — the jolt and slow of hooves, the grind of a truck engine coming down from a higher gear, the bark of Dog before anyone saw him, then the gate voices answering back with the loose affection reserved for people who returned often enough to be expected and unpredictably enough to still make an entrance of it.
By the time the church doors opened, the whole room had already bent toward them. You came in by sound and momentum before sight, because half the town had apparently decided at once that the proper way to greet returning travelers was to talk over them. Dust came in with you. Wind too. You were down from the horse before most people even properly registered the horse itself, handing the reins off to somebody by the doorway with the ease of someone who had long ago stopped performing confidence and simply started living inside it. The road had put new things on you — a deeper set to the shoulders, a weather-hardened kind of ease, the look of somebody who spent more days moving than still — but if anything it had only sharpened what had already been there. You came through the doors smiling and apologising and talking at once, as if turning up in the middle of a council meeting with a horse and dust all over your boots was not only normal but perhaps slightly generous of you.
Behind you, beyond the open doors, the truck pulled up in a cough of engine and brake. Dog launched out before the vehicle had fully settled and that won a laugh from half the room and an exasperated, immediate, “Dog!” from somebody near the back who was ignored on principle. Then Daryl got out.
He looked road-tired in the way Daryl always did, which was to say more put together than most men looked freshly washed. Jacket dark with travel grime, shoulders broader somehow than when he had left, face leaner and a little more weather-cut, moving with that same careless, dangerous economy that made it look as though he’d been carved out of the road itself and simply permitted, for now, to come inside. There was more dust on him than charm and more quiet than greeting, but the room opened for him all the same because Daryl coming home had somehow become an event people could feel in their backs before they knew they were standing. He rounded to the passenger side of the truck and opened the door and lifted down a child.
The room melted. There was no other word for it. Whatever composure the church had left after your entrance dissolved completely at the sight of little Dani tucked sleep-heavy and shy against Daryl’s shoulder, one fist already twisted into his shirt. Four years old now and carrying that peculiar blend of both of you that made strangers stare for a second longer than was decent — your mouth, his eyes, your expression when she was thinking about whether to be charming or suspicious, his entire refusal to be passed around because other people were strange and unfamiliar. Judith made a sound like delight had physically escaped her body. “Oh my god, she’s gotten so big since last time.”
You barely had time to laugh before Aaron caught you in a one-armed hug and Rosita swatted your shoulder and somebody else was asking how long you’d been gone this time and whether you had seriously ridden in on a horse just to make everyone else look lazy. Michonne reached you last, and once she had you in front of her she held your shoulders and looked you over with the kind of hard fondness reserved for people you loved enough to be annoyed by regularly. “This was a long one,” she said. “Thought you’d left us for good.”
“Oh, come on,” you said. “We’d never do that. This place would be so boring without us. I can tell we just saved you from a world record borefest” Michonne closed her eyes briefly the way people did when they had expected better despite all evidence and had only themselves to blame. “You’ve been back thirty seconds.”
“And already contributing.” That got a reluctant smile out of her anyway. Daryl had come in by then with Dani on his arm and Dog doing eager circles around his legs and the truck newcomers climbing down more cautiously behind him. Dani buried her face in his neck for a second at the sight of all the people and then peeked again when Judith all but materialised in front of her with the buzzing intensity of someone meeting royalty. “Hi,” Judith breathed. Dani stared. Then, in the smaller, serious voice of children trying to decide whether another child is acceptable, she said, “Hi.”
That, for some reason, nearly undid Aaron where he stood. You took advantage of the general emotional collapse to go around the truck and pull open the back, calling over your shoulder that yes, you’d brought people, and no, you had not simply started collecting them like road debris. Four strangers climbed down — tired, wary, road-thin in the way of people who had not yet learned how to trust being delivered anywhere alive. They hung close at first, their eyes taking in the church, the walls beyond, the sheer domestic fact of so many people standing in one place without fear.
Michonne clocked them immediately. “You picked them up too?” You nodded, already halfway to helping one of them with a bag. “North Carolina coast. Few weeks back.”
Someone behind you — Aaron again, amused now — said, “Thought you were done with the coast?”
At that you turned and looked toward Daryl. He was still standing with Dani in one arm, the other hand settled automatically at the back of her legs, listening to Judith explain something with all the breathless urgency of a child who has been waiting months to have a proper audience. At Aaron’s comment he looked over at you, and the look itself was a whole conversation before either of you said a word. You grinned first. “Oh, y’know, for old times’ sake.” You nodded towards Dani. “There’s something about the waves for her. Just puts her out like a light, it’s awesome.”
That got a laugh out of the room. Even Daryl’s mouth twitched.
There was authority in the two of you now in a way there hadn’t been before all this, and not the pompous kind either. Not the kind someone appointed. The earned kind. The kind that came from distance traveled, danger survived, people brought back. You and Daryl did not merely leave Alexandria and return to it. You extended it. The roads you rode became part of its nervous system. The people you chose to bring home were accepted not because Alexandria had grown soft, but because you two had become one of the ways it knew where to put its trust.
Gabriel, glancing from the road people by the truck to the four still standing uncertainly in the hall, looked as though he was trying to decide whether this meeting had just become more or less complicated. Michonne was having the same problem, only with more discipline. Then another familiar voice cut through from the side aisle, dry as driftwood and somehow audible over all the rest. “I’d hoped, frankly, you’d get lost.” Kessler.
He had come up without fanfare, which made sense, because apparently even years in Alexandria hadn’t managed to beat all the haunted-fort habits out of him. He looked cleaner than he had on St. Hale and no less inconvenienced by humanity. The same sharp old face, the same posture of a man who had agreed to civilisation on a probationary basis, only now with less salt in his beard and an expression that was trying very hard not to read as fond.
You brightened immediately and crossed to him, laughing. “There he is.” He accepted the hug the way he accepted most things — as if good manners had forced his hand and he would be lodging a complaint later.
Then his eyes found Dani. She had gone shy again at the new attention and had climbed higher against Daryl’s chest, one arm around his neck now, face turned half into his shoulder while she peered out with those solemn Dixon eyes. Kessler looked at her and something in his whole severe old face softened by accident. “Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” he said, shrinking himself to seem smaller. “What are they feeding you, missy?” Dani buried her face deeper into Daryl and refused to answer.
Kessler, to his credit, did not push. He only leaned a little on his cane — which he absolutely did not need but had acquired anyway because he enjoyed the implied fragility it afforded him — and said, in the same conversational tone adults used when trying to coax children into deciding they were safe, “Feels like yesterday your mother was threatening to murder your father because he kept suggesting breathing exercises.”That made Dani peek. You made an offended noise. “I was in labour. I was allowed to become temporarily crazy.”
“Temporarily?” Kessler echoed. Daryl, who had apparently decided to contribute now that he had an audience worth ruining your dignity in front of, said, “You kept calling me a bitch for gettin’ ya pregnant.”
“I was working through pain.” That, finally, got Dani to smile against Daryl’s shoulder, which seemed to please Kessler more than he was willing to admit. He tipped his head toward the road people by the truck. “Any of them need seeing to?”
You sobered a little, though not much. “Angie had an arm amputated two weeks ago. Healing all right, but I’d feel better if you looked at it.”
“Mm.” Kessler looked over the group with that same old clinical bluntness, all impatience and competence. “Any fever?”
Angie blinked. “No, sir.”
“Good. Let’s keep it that way.” He turned as if that settled it and jerked his head once toward the door. The four road newcomers followed him instinctively, which was probably for the best. No one in the room seemed remotely concerned about them. That, too, said something about you and Daryl now. No one was asking for their assessment. No one was glancing nervously toward Michonne. If you had brought them in with your daughter, that was apparently enough. As Kessler passed Daryl, he gave Dani one last look and muttered, almost to himself, “Far too cute to have come from him.” Daryl snorted. “Keep walkin’.” Kessler did, with the road people trailing after him toward the infirmary and Dog making a brief, official detour to sniff everyone and returning to patrol your orbit. And only then, with the church still warm from your arrival and everyone only just beginning to remember there had been a council meeting in progress before the Dixons had rolled back into town like weather, did the room start trying to gather itself into order again.
You looked around the church properly for the first time since riding in and took in the half-circle of benches, the table at the front, the citizens still gathered with all the awkward energy of people who had been interrupted mid-seriousness and hadn’t yet decided whether they were allowed to enjoy it.
“Uh,” you said, glancing from Michonne to Gabriel to the three strangers still standing where she’d told them to stay, “are we interrupting something?”
Michonne folded her arms. “Only a routine council meeting about whether or not to admit three men none of us know who arrived at the gate saying they heard of Alexandria and want to stay.”
You blinked. “Oh shit.”
“That’s what I said,” Gabriel murmured. “More or less.”
Daryl shifted Dani a little higher on his hip and glanced toward the front in the unhurried way he did when something might matter but not enough to stop him from pretending it didn’t. “We can clear out.”
Michonne’s mouth twitched. “You can. But since everyone in here is already too distracted to do anything useful for the next five minutes, you may as well sit down and contribute.”
You looked to daryl. "could stay for the show.” You smiled and reached for Dani. “C’mere, bug.” Daryl handed her over automatically, one hand staying for a second at the small of her back until he was sure you had her. Dani settled against you without protest, one arm looped around your neck, warm and sleepy and curious all at once. Dog immediately took this as a signal to lie directly under whatever bench you were going to choose, as if his role in the family was emotional support and also tripping hazards.
You and Daryl moved to the front table sitting next to Michonne. You fit into the room now in a way you hadn’t in a while, almost forgetting what it was like since being on the road. When you sat, people shifted for you without thinking about it. Daryl dropped down beside you with the ease of someone who had spent enough years pretending not to belong that the actual belonging had become almost invisible. One forearm came up along the back of the bench behind you, not showy, just there, the shape of his body still angled instinctively toward yours and Dani’s both.
You tucked Dani more securely into your lap, smoothed a hand over her hair, then looked toward the front again.
The three men standing there had not moved, but they were no longer simply three roadworn strangers in a church under scrutiny. Now they were men trying very hard not to react to seeing ghosts ride in with a horse, a truck, a child, and half a town laughing around them. The one in the middle — the broad-shouldered one who’d done most of the talking — had gone pale in a way that had nothing to do with exhaustion. Another had fixed his attention on a knot in the floorboards so fiercely it was almost devotional. The youngest looked trapped inside his own skin, every few seconds glancing toward the doors as if recalculating the distance. It wasn’t only that they recognised you. It was that they recognised the world around you.
The church full of people who seemed to lean in when you talked, who could afford to stop and argue about mercy because they weren’t starving this minute. The child in your lap. The dog under the bench. The fact that you and Daryl had not only survived Widow’s Hook and St. Hale and everything since, but had come out the other side into this — into something functional, warm, ridiculous, alive.
That was where the poison lived. Not in old hatred alone, though that was there. Not even in fear of recognition, though that too had begun to sweat through them. It was in the comparison. The unbearable, humiliating comparison between what they had become and what you had built.
While they’d wasted away by the sea in a village that mistook loneliness for law, this had been here. A life. A future. A little girl in your lap with her father’s eyes and your smart mouth waiting somewhere in the making. And the worst part — the part that would really rot a man from the inside — was that they had seen the edge of your life once already and chosen the wrong side of it.
Gabriel, who had seen enough unravelling men in his time to recognise the first seams giving way, inclined his head slightly toward them. “Please,” he said, calm as rain. “Go on.”
The broad one swallowed and tried. “We, uh… we heard of this place from folks passing through, years back. Thought it was rumour at first. But we went looking anyway. Took us time to find even a trail.”
His voice caught oddly on the word trail.
You stilled. Not visibly. Not enough for anyone who didn’t know you to notice. But something under your ribs shifted. There was something in the cadence. Not the words. The wear of them. The particular coast drag under the vowels, the shape of a voice aged by old obedience and too many years learning when not to speak first. Dani had started tracing idle little circles on your chest with one finger. Your hand moved automatically over her back, soothing without thought, but your attention had narrowed now.
Gabriel let the silence invite more. The man tried again. “We had… a place before. Sort of. On the coast. Didn’t last.”
Daryl, beside you, was listening now too, though not with the same knife-point focus. His attention had sharpened because the room had sharpened, because Michonne had gone quieter, because the men at the front smelled increasingly like trouble, but he had not yet placed them. Why would he? He had too much life between now and then. Too many roads. Too many faces.
You, on the other hand, had always built people first out of sound.
The man to the left spoke up suddenly, perhaps because silence had become too dangerous. “We were told communities inland didn’t like outsiders. So we kept moving.” That voice you didn’t know. The youngest added, too fast, “Didn’t think anywhere like this was real, not anymore.” Too much fear in that one. Too eager. Not him either. Then the first man spoke again, trying to gather the story back into his own hands. “We lost a lot, is all. Took us time to trust there’d be anything left worth reaching.”
And there it was. Liam. Not the face, not yet. The face had aged and dragged and thinned and maybe if he’d walked past you on a different road years from now you wouldn’t have looked twice. But the voice — the wavering effort at steadiness, the habitual trying to sound more harmless than he was, the little dip in the middle of longer sentences like he was forever preparing to be cut off — that was Liam Foley all the way down.
You felt your spine go very straight against the bench. Daryl glanced at you instantly. Not because he knew why but because he knew that. The hand he had draped along the back of the bench shifted lower until his fingers brushed your shoulder, a question without words.
You didn’t answer it. You were listening too hard. Five years fell away all at once in ugly little shards — salt in the Bell, Widow’s Hook, the wrong silence after Tom’s explanation, the skiff in the dark, Kessler barking directions while you killed men by voice and instinct, the smell of burning rope and wet dead. Not as a sequence. As a body-memory. One rotten tide rushing in behind another.
Liam kept talking because he had to. Because stopping would have been just as revealing. “Then a while back,” he said, and now you could hear the nerves in him clearly if no one else could, “we crossed paths with some traders who’d heard of a place west. Said folks there took people in if they were willin’ to work. Took us a long time to make sense of the roads from what they told us.”
You looked at Michonne. Then Gabriel. Then back at the front. Your face didn’t change much. That was the funny thing. After everything, you had learned how to go very still when something dangerous finally named itself.
But inside, the room had already tipped. Because now the story wasn’t just a story. It was a performance being delivered by one of the men who had stood by while Widow’s Hook curdled around you and Daryl, one of the men who had rowed out under lantern light while you were under Kessler’s knife, one of the men who had somehow lived long enough after St. Hale to crawl to your gates asking for sanctuary.
And if Liam was here, then those two with him were not random either. The broad one finally risked lifting his eyes toward the benches. That was his mistake. He looked at you directly, and whatever hope he’d been nursing that your face had changed enough, that the years had put enough distance between then and now, that the damage to your sight had left him safe in your hearing but not your certainty, died in one visible little collapse behind his eyes. You recognised him. He knew you reconised him. And suddenly all the warmth in the church stood in brutal contrast to the truth at the front of the room.
Michonne saw the shift then, her gaze flickinh from your face to Liam’s, then to Daryl, whose whole posture had changed without fully understanding why. Gabriel said, very carefully, “Is there a problem?”
You didn’t answer right away. Instead you adjusted Dani in your lap, slower than you needed to, the way you did when you were trying to keep your hands occupied so they didn’t do what they wanted before the room was ready.
And in that tiny domestic movement, everything about you told its own story. The old you might have gone white. Frozen. Second-guessed. Waited. This version of you had a child in her arms, road dust on her boots, a husband at her shoulder, and enough life behind her now that fear had become just one more thing to manage.
You looked at Liam. He looked back like a man standing on rotten boards and hearing the crack start under him. “Oh,” you said softly. “Don’t mind me.”
And in the silence that followed, even the people who had no idea what was happening understood that whatever came next was not going to be minor. The whole room had gone attentive in that strange, shallow-breathing way groups did when they sensed a current under the floorboards but hadn’t yet seen where it would come through. Gabriel looked from you to the men at the front and then, very gently, gave them one more chance to save themselves. “Continue.”
Liam swallowed. You could hear it from where you sat. It was a tiny sound in a church full of people, but now that you knew it was him, now that the years had folded up and laid themselves one atop the other, every little thing about him had become blindingly obvious. The careful harmlessness. The strain under it. The particular shape of a man trying to sound like he belonged anywhere other than where he had been made.
“Like I said,” he began, and his voice had gone thinner without his permission, “we were used to staying on the coast. It… it stopped being a place worth stayin’ in. After that we were on the road. Heard about communities inland from traders, drifters, folk passin’ through. Took a leap of faith.” He was doing all right, for a liar with a memory problem and too much past breathing down his neck. The broad one to his left stared at the floorboards with the rigid concentration of a man trying to survive by becoming furniture. The youngest had gone damp around the temples. His knee kept jumping in short, nervous jolts he didn’t seem to know he was making.
You shifted Dani higher on your lap. Daryl’s fingers, still resting near your shoulder, pressed once, asking.
You answered by standing. Not abruptly or in a way that would snap every eye in the room to you. Just smoothly, with the ease of someone who knew exactly what she was doing and had no reason to explain it yet. Dani made a sleepy little sound and curled more tightly into you. Daryl looked up immediately, his whole attention narrowing to the two of you in the way it always did. “You okay?” he murmured.
“Mm-hm.” You bent and pressed a kiss into Dani’s hair. “Need to move her.” That was all he needed. Or all he let himself ask for in a room full of people. He stood too, because of course he did, but you shook your head once and he stayed where he was, eyes tracking you as you made your way toward the side aisle. The room barely noticed. Most of them were still watching Gabriel and the three men at the front, still trying to decide whether the strange wrongness in the air had a name yet.
Outside the open church doors, your road companions had drifted toward the entrance on instinct more than invitation. They had the look of people not yet fully comfortable with walls, who could not bear to lose track of their known safe points in a crowd. Angie was there with her sling and her tired eyes, plus the two brothers you’d picked up outside New Bern and the older woman with the scar down one cheek who had somehow become everybody’s auntie by the second day on the road. They straightened the second you appeared with Dani in your arms and Daryl no longer at your shoulder.
All of their faces tightened. “Everything all right?” Chris asked.
You didn’t answer that directly. You handed Dani over instead, careful and practiced, and he took her the same way he’d taken a hundred other fragile things in a hundred other dangerous moments: without asking unnecessary questions first. “Keep her out here a sec,” you said quietly. “Don’t let her come in unless I say.”
That got the brothers’ attention. The older woman — Ruth — looked past you into the church, then back at your face, and whatever she saw there made her stop one beat short of asking what was wrong. Dani, drowsy and warm and not yet aware that the room behind you had shifted shape, blinked at chris and then reached one hand back toward the church. “Mama?”
You smoothed her hair once. “I’ll be right back ok baby.” That seemed to satisfy her. It wouldn’t have if she’d looked at your face any longer.
You turned before anybody could stop you. When you went back through the doors, the church was still listening to Liam. “…had nowhere else to go by then,” he was saying, hands loose at his sides in that careful way liars used when they were trying not to look rehearsed. “Just heard enough over time to think maybe if we kept inland, maybe if we got lucky—" He stopped when he heard you thundering down the aisle.
Maybe it was the speed of it. Maybe it was the fact that you weren’t carrying Dani anymore, didn’t have a child in your arms softening the shape of you. Maybe it was simply that people in Alexandria had known you long enough by then to understand, on some animal level, when you had moved from ordinary to intent. Conversations at the back died first. Then Judith, mid-whisper to Rosita, went quiet too. Then even Gabriel stopped pretending not to notice.
Your boots struck the floorboards with a rhythm that made the old church feel narrower and longer all at once. Men at the front shifted. Liam saw you coming and his face changed before he could stop it. Not just fear. Recognition made active. A man seeing the last few seconds of a lie and understanding he no longer had enough room to finish it. Daryl didn’t call after you and that, more than anything, told the room this was not random. He just stood where you’d left him, shoulders gone very still, watching.
The broad one beside Liam began to turn, maybe to bolt, maybe to speak, maybe to finally tell the truth and hope it bought him something. Too late.
Liam had just enough time to say your name — or maybe only the first sound of it — before your fist hit him square across the nose with a crack that rang through the church like somebody splitting kindling indoors.
The bench went over backward. Blood burst bright and immediate down his mouth and shirt.
The room exploded in noise for half a second — benches scraping, People yelping, somebody near the back swearing loudly enough to make Gabriel wince on principle — but nobody came at you like you’d done something irrational. If anything, the opposite happened. The room held itself back and looked to you, then to Daryl, then to the bloodied man sprawled across the table as if the order of the world had rearranged itself in a way everyone else was still catching up to.
Liam was the first one to break. Not physically — ou’d already handled that. You had him by the shirtfront, one hand planted hard enough on his chest to keep him flat while blood ran in a bright, humiliating line from his nose over his mouth and down onto the table. His eyes had gone wide and wet in the worst kind of panic — not the fear of immediate death, but the fear of a lie finally cornered with nowhere pretty left to put it. “Tell them!” you yelled. He blinked up at you, dazed and breathing hard. “Okay, okay—”
“Tell them the fucking truth.” At either side of him the other two had gone white clear through. Aaron had a hand on one shoulder. Rosita had the other by the back of the neck in a grip that suggested she’d happily improve the day if anyone got ambitious. Neither of the men resisted. Neither looked like they’d forgotten what happened the last time they underestimated you. Liam swallowed blood and pride together and started talking. At first it came out in pieces. Widow’s Hook. The Bell. The woman and her husband who showed up out of nowhere. The crossing. St. Hale. The night everything went to hell. By the time he got to the island, the room had gone so quiet the old church beams seemed to lean down and listen with everybody else.
Liam kept going because stopping now would have been worse than any truth he could spill. He told them enough. Not every filthy detail — some of those still stuck in his teeth like guilt and old fish bones — but enough that Alexandria understood exactly who these men were, what they had once belonged to, and what sort of place had shaped them. When he was done, his voice had thinned into something raw.
“We left after,” he said. “There wasn’t anything left there worth stayin’ for.” You gave a short, humorless laugh. “That’s one way to put it.” He flinched.
Gabriel stepped in then, finally, because someone had to gather the shape of what had just happened and decide whether this room was still a council or had become a courtroom. “And now?” he asked.
Liam looked from Gabriel to Michonne, then to Daryl, and finally, unwillingly, back to you. “Now we want a second chance.”
It would have been easier if he’d sounded slick saying it. If he’d sounded entitled. If he’d come in swinging or lying cleaner or reaching for some manipulative speech about redemption. Instead he just sounded tired. The youngest of the other two made a small, broken sound that was one inch shy of crying and looked like he hated himself for it. The broad one shut his eyes and let out a breath through his nose like all his years had suddenly become very heavy to stand under.
Liam wiped at his nose with the back of one hand and then, because apparently there was still enough stupid left in him to ask, looked at you and said, “How’d you know it was us?”
That earned him a blink from half the room. Then, because there really was no reason to make this prettier than it was, you said, “I got my eyes fixed up, dumbass.”
Then your mouth twitched and you added, “Or did you forget when you held me hostage after i was freshly cut open? Pretty rude of you to interrupt eye surgery.”
People thought they had misheard you, looking left and right to see if they had actually heard you correctly. Guilt was written all over his face. He thought to say it wasn't his plan, but it didn't matter that it wasnt - he still went along.
“I can see now, roughly,” you explained, “but your voice gave you away. Awfully nasal”That got a snort out of Rosita so sudden she had to cough over it. Even Michonne’s mouth gave at the corner.
Liam just looked stunned. Like he had built whole little hopes in himself around what you still couldn’t do and now had to watch them collapse in real time. Gabriel folded his hands again, because unlike the rest of you he was apparently still willing to act like this was a meeting and not a very strange reunion with violence in the middle. “I take it,” he said carefully, “that you’re not asking to have them thrown out.”
You let go of Liam’s shirt and stepped back at last, rolling your sore knuckles once before you tucked your hand into the small of your back. “No,” you said. A couple years ago that response would have been suprising, but now — every life counts
Daryl finally moved then, coming round the table in that easy, dangerous way of his until he stopped at your shoulder.
“They’re not stupid enough to try anything here,” you said. “Not now.” Liam, still half-bent over the table with blood all over his face, gave a tiny nod that was either agreement or gratitude or both.
Aaron looked toward Michonne. “What about Oceanside?” Michonne leaned back slightly and considered the three men. “Oceanside could use more people who know boats,” she said at last. “Your skills would be more useful there.”
The broad one actually made a sound then, half shock and half relief, and the youngest did start crying, just a little, trying and failing to hide it as he scrubbed at his face with both palms. You looked at him and recoiled on principle. “Ew.”
That startled a laugh out of half the room. You pointed at him. “I deal with enough crying from a four-year-old. I do not need it from a grown man.” The poor bastard laughed wetly through it, which only made him cry harder.
Gabriel exhaled through his nose in the long-suffering way of a man whose dignified council meeting had now become unfixable. “Well,” he said, “that’s one way to establish terms.” Michonne looked at the three men. “You’ll go to Oceanside under escort. You’ll work. You’ll keep your heads down. You’ll be grateful we’re even having this conversation. Most are less fortunate.”
They nodded so fast it was almost pitiful. Daryl, who had absolutely no interest in sitting through the next hour of logistics now that the only interesting part had already happened, leaned closer to you and muttered, “We done here?”
You looked at Liam, whose life had just been spared and redirected in one meeting, then around at the rest of the room, then shrugged. “I got to punch someone,” you said. “What else would I be staying for?”
That made Michonne close her eyes for one second, like somewhere deep in herself she was conceding that maybe the council had, in fact, reached its natural conclusion.
You and Daryl left before it was formally adjourned and no one stopped you. That would be very dumb on their part.
Outside, the late light had gone softer, all gold over Alexandria’s streets and fences and roofs, the kind of evening light that made a place look briefly like it had always meant to survive. Your road people were still near the church entrance, and Dani was in Angie’s arms now, drowsy and patient in the tolerant way of a child used to adults periodically turning serious for reasons she didn’t need explained yet.
The second Daryl saw her, something in his whole face lit from the inside. Not dramatically, that was never his style. Just a private, immediate warmth that made him look younger and older at the same time. “There she is,” he murmured. “Hey, bug..”Angie handed Dani over without a production, and Daryl took her with the same easy certainty he did everything that mattered most. One arm under her, one big hand spread safe across her back, then his face disappearing into her neck and cheek and hair in a flurry of rough kisses that made her squeal and shove at him and laugh all at once.
Dani wrinkled up her little face and clutched his collar with one hand. “Daddy!” You smiled despite yourself. “All right, enough,” you said. “You’ll rile her up.” He ignored you completely and kissed her face one more time just to be difficult.
By the time you made it to the truck, half your gear was already gone, already unloaded. Of course it was. Alexandria had seen you pull in and immediately done what Alexandria always did when it loved people — pretended it was being practical while being embarrassingly soft. Bags had been carried off. Crates too. Someone had already taken the horse to the stables. Dog was trotting ahead like he personally owned every street you’d ever come home to.
You looked at the nearly empty truck bed and then at Daryl. “Wow,” you said. “Look at that. Community.” He shifted Dani higher on his hip. “Mm.” “Very moving.” “Mm.” “You know, one day I’d love a more verbal husband.” “Sounds exhausting.”
You started down the street beside him anyway, your hand finding his automatically fitting there with absurd ease. Dog ranged at your side. The sun sat low enough now that the edges of everything had gone a little softer, and through your improved-but-still-imperfect sight the houses and gardens and familiar fences of Alexandria blurred just enough at the corners to remind you where you’d been and how far you’d come.
Daryl glanced over at a sign nailed crookedly to a porch post and, because he was a terrible man, said, “What’s that one saythen, hmm?”
You turned your head toward it with enormous dignity. The sign was, to you, an unhelpful pale rectangle with dark smudges where letters were probably doing their best. “I can totally read that,” you said immediately. “I just don’t feel like it.” “Sure.” “I can. I just don’t want to.” “That so?” You squeezed his hand. “Don’t be smug dear.” “Ain’t smug.” “You are deeply smug.” You looked at the sleepy child he was carrying. “Hey bug, is daddy smug?” “Uh huh,” she nodded. “That ain’t fair,” Daryl said. “She’ll agree with anything you say.” “Hey bug,” you said sweetly. “Do you agree with everything mommy says?” “Nuh huh.” He glared at you, grumbling something about how you were turning his own kid against him. “Hey, hotshot,” you said, pointing ahead.“Go ahead and read that for me.” He looked once at the sign and said, with complete confidence, “Says ‘no kids alowed.’” he squeezed Dani and she glared at the sign like it just stuck it's tongue out at her. From three houses down, Carol shouted, “It says welcome home, jackass.” You barked a laugh so suddenly Dani joined in without knowing why, and even Daryl’s mouth twitched hard enough to count. “Close enough,” he muttered.
You leaned your shoulder into him as you walked. Between your joined hands, your daughter in his arm, Dog at your side and Alexandria opening around you like the answer to a question you had once been too scared to ask, the whole thing finally settled where it belonged. In trying to get back what you lost, you found everything and more. And none of it required sight.
The parking lot outside the rink was already dusted white, soft flakes drifting down under the streetlights. Inside, the arena felt even quieter than usual—like the storm had wrapped the whole building in silence.
She walked up the familiar stairs to the stands.
And there he was.
Already on the ice.
He was halfway through a program run-through, his blades cutting sharp lines across the ice. He moved faster tonight, more intense, hoodie half unzipped and hair damp with sweat.
He spotted her almost immediately.
Even while skating.
His focus broke just enough for a small grin to flash across his face.
“You’re late,” he called.
She stopped halfway up the steps.
“I didn’t know there was a schedule.”
“There is now.”
She sat down in her usual spot.
“And what happens if I miss it?”
He circled the rink lazily.
“Then I skate worse.”
“That sounds like a personal problem.”
Ilia laughed under his breath.
He skated closer to the boards beneath her.
“You know,” he said, leaning against them, “most people would ask how practice is going.”
“How’s practice going?”
“Better now.”
She rolled her eyes.
“You’re impossible.”
“And yet,” he said, pushing off the boards again, “you keep coming back.”
Before she could answer, the lights flickered.
Once.
Twice.
Then half the rink went dark.
She looked up.
“What was that?”
Ilia slowed to a stop on the ice.
“Probably the storm.”
Another flicker.
Then a loud click echoed somewhere in the building.
The rink lights stayed on—but the rest of the arena went completely dark.
The hallways.
The lobby.
Everything.
Silence followed.
She frowned.
“Did the power go out?”
“Partially,” Ilia said, gliding to the boards. “Backup lights for the rink.”
She stood and walked down the steps toward him.
“Great.”
“You in a hurry?” he asked.
“My friend already left earlier.”
Ilia blinked.
“Wait.”
“You weren’t actually waiting for someone tonight?”
She leaned against the boards across from him.
“No.”
He stared at her for a second.
“You’ve just been coming here… to watch me?”
She shrugged slightly.
“Maybe.”
Something warm flickered across his expression.
Then he pushed himself up onto the ice edge, sitting on the barrier so they were almost eye level.
Outside, the wind rattled faintly against the building.
“Looks like we’re stuck here until the storm slows down,” he said.
“Guess so.”
The rink felt different now.
Quieter.
Closer.
Ilia studied her for a moment.
“You know you’re the only person who’s ever watched my practices like this.”
“How?”
“Without fangirling.”
“That sounds exhausting.”
“It is.”
She smiled faintly.
He noticed.
He noticed everything.
The way she leaned her elbows on the boards.
The way her hair had fallen loose around her shoulders.
The way she looked at him like he was just a person—not a headline, not a record breaker.
Just him.
“Hey,” he said quietly.
“What?”
“Come here.”
She raised an eyebrow.
“I’m already here.”
“Closer.”
She hesitated.
Then stepped down the final step so she was standing right against the boards.
Now they were only inches apart.
Ilia rested one arm beside her on the barrier.
“You trust me?” he asked.
“With what?”
“Something fun.”
That should have been suspicious.
But for some reason—
She nodded.
Ilia slid off the barrier and held out a hand.
“Step on the ice.”
“Absolutely not.”
“You said you trust me.”
“I trust you to skate. Not to keep me from falling.”
He smirked.
“I’ve got you.”
She hesitated for two seconds.
Then she climbed carefully over the boards.
The second her shoes hit the ice, she nearly slipped.
Her hand shot out automatically—
And grabbed his hoodie.
Ilia caught her waist instantly.
“Relax,” he said softly.
“I am relaxed.”
“You’re gripping me like I’m a life raft.”
“Because I might die.”
“You’re not going to die.”
He adjusted his hold slightly, steadying her.
His hands stayed at her waist.
Closer now.
Much closer.
The cold air of the rink mixed with the warmth between them.
“You’re doing fine,” he murmured.
“I’m standing still.”
“Exactly.”
She looked up at him.
He was already looking at her.
The moment stretched.
Quiet.
Heavy.
Outside, the storm howled faintly against the building.
Inside—
It felt like the entire world had shrunk to this tiny patch of ice.
Ilia’s hands were still on her waist.
Neither of them moved.
His voice dropped.
“You know something?”
“What?”
“I don’t actually care if you learn how to skate.”
“Oh?”
“I just like that you keep coming back.”
Her heart did something stupid in her chest.
“You skate better when I’m here,” she said softly.
“That’s not the only reason.”
The space between them suddenly felt very small.
His eyes dropped briefly to her lips.
Then back up again.
She noticed.
And didn’t move away.
Ilia leaned closer.
Slow.
Careful.
Like he was giving her time to stop him.
She didn’t.
Their faces were inches apart now.
Her breath caught slightly.
His voice was barely above a whisper.
“I’ve been wanting to do this for like… three practices.”
Her lips curved slightly.
“That long?”
“Yeah.”
He leaned in—
Almost.
Almost.
Then he stopped.
Pulled back just slightly.
Ran a hand through his hair.
“Wait,” he muttered.
She blinked.
“What?”
He exhaled sharply.
“I’m doing this wrong.”
“Doing what wrong?”
Instead of answering, Ilia looked at her directly.
Serious now.
“No almost kiss.”
Her eyebrows lifted.
“Oh?”
“I’m asking you out first.”
Her heart skipped.
“You are?”
“Yeah.”
He rubbed the back of his neck.
Suddenly less confident than usual.
“Like… a real date.”
She crossed her arms lightly, pretending to consider it.
“You’re nervous.”
“Very.”
“That’s new.”
“Don’t get used to it.”
She smiled.
“So?” he said. “Will you go out with me?”
For once—
She didn’t tease him.
Didn’t stall.
Didn’t pretend to think about it.
She just said—
“Yes.”
Ilia blinked.
“Wait really?”
“Yes, really.”
A slow grin spread across his face.
“Well,” he said, stepping a little closer again.
“Now can I kiss you?”
She tilted her head slightly.
“You could have just done it the first time .”
“Yeah but this is better.”
And this time—
When Ilia leaned in—
She met him halfway.
The kiss was soft.
Warm.
And somehow felt like it had been building since the very first night she sat in the stands pretending not to watch him.
When they finally pulled apart, he rested his eyes on hers.