be glad you didn’t give everything to him. he said he didn’t want to stay if you would just cut him off. it’s only been an hour and it seems like HE’s the one cutting YOU off. no, don’t demonize him. it’s only been an hour.
it’s ironic that the last time we saw each other was when we gave ourselves fully to him. maybe that’s what he wanted all along, despite him assuring us he would never do that. maybe...
it’s easy to blame him, it’s easy to be hurt that he didn’t tell you it was going to have an end right from the start. it’s easy to be angry because when you had doubts at the beginning he came to you crying telling you of his fear of abandonment, and now here you are in his shoes.
remember when you didn’t love him? remember when you had to stop yourself from staring at other guys? from fantasizing about them? because YOU felt bad for HIM. you were so strong, smart, promising. you had potential. god, you’ve fucking ruined yourself. look at you. you’re pathetic. suicidal now? that’s funny, that you started off with this massive ego knowing that you had potential to do things great (which you did), and now you’re a failure who can’t even kill himself correctly.
he has everything you want. did you tell him that? no. but do you want to be him? no. how he lives with himself... i don’t understand.
it was stupid of you to think he’d want to stay after running away with you. how he held you and said he wanted to be together and so you gave up everything for so long that you forgot everything but him. and now he tells you he needs to go. but he leaves you here, helpless. useless.
you’re killing yourself by staying. you think “maybe i can keep him”, and by that you mean manipulate him into feeling bad for you. you’ve become a monster, i don’t blame him for telling you he sees no future. he says it isn’t you, but it is. what else would it be. why else would he go back on his word?
she told you she’s here for you, but you never bonded with her in the way you bonded with him. you never bonded with anyone the way you were with him. you love her still, in the caring way... i wonder if this is the type of love he feels for you then.
still she is here. and she will help you. don’t think about the friend you’ve already lost, the only one who actually helped.
i want this to end. i want to break free. i want the life i deserve to live. nobody deserves this caged helplessness. i need to love again. and he is there, but just a ghost. try to salvage things. try to make him come back truly. it is a less honorable death, but it is a more prolonged one.
i know i am going to die at the end of this, i know i cannot go on. i haven’t the faintest idea how i would. i had never loved until this.
and i shall never love again.
dailybridgerton
stormborns
turnnoffyourmind
kaledo-art
annaxmalina
areudirty
izzy806
snowghoul
romaincrisis
