Circumcision Stories from followers #4
I was born in the Midwest in the early 80’s. My parents decided not to have me circumcised since they didn’t believe in it, although my father is cut. I remember my mother telling me my penis was different from most boys, but as a child I never gave it much thought until I remember one day a friend at school told me one of the other boys wasn’t circumcised. I asked him what that meant and he told me “there’s an extra layer of skin that is cut off the tip of the penis when you are born. You probably had it done too.” I remember thinking to myself, “wow there was two layers of skin?” Then I remembered what my mother told me and I realized that I was different. It was around this time that I started wishing I had been circumcised as a newborn. One time, I heard my mother telling a friend that when I was a newborn, the nurses started taking me away to get circumcised without even asking her. She caught up with them and asked where they were taking me. “It’s time for him to get circumcised” they said. My mother responded that she didn’t want me circumcised. After a little back & forth, she got her way, but I really wish she hadn’t.
This experience was the first time I felt out of place and I remember thinking to myself that I would try to hide the fact I wasn’t cut as much as possible. Around age 11, I discovered I could keep the foreskin retracted by pushing my fingers into the base of my penis and pushing upwards. To the casual observer, this would look like I was just scratching or adjusting myself.
Around this time, I’d also discovered masturbation and jerking off freed any skin adhesions to the glans. My mother had told me to try to work the adhesions free, but it was painful when I tried. She taught me how to clean it properly, so I never had problems with smegma or retracting the skin. One day I just noticed it was completely free of adhesions and there was a jagged line in the skin below the sulcus.
When I started keeping the foreskin retracted, air felt really cool on my glans and it was a pleasurable feeling. At first, I thought this was what it was like to feel cut. The longer I kept it retracted, this went away and my glans started to dry out and harden. I lost my virginity shortly after my 14th birthday. I was a little worried in the back of my mind she would discover I wasn’t cut, but my foreskin was short, so there wasn’t much bunching of skin when I was erect. The only way you could tell I wasn’t cut was if you pulled the foreskin over the glans or the fact there was no obvious scar. The girl didn’t realize I wasn’t cut, but I remember hearing she told one of her friends it was red and sticky. An adult woman would surely figure it out, but a teenage girl wouldn’t. I discovered this practice is called autocircumcision.
As I hooked up with more girls, I would hold my penis at the base to keep the skin retracted. No one ever questioned me, but I assume they thought it was a control thing if they noticed it. I found when I was getting a hand-job, half of them would stop pumping when they got to the glans since being cut was the norm where I grew up, so it was habit to just jerk off the shaft and never try to continue to the head. With the other half of girls, I gripped the base to prevent the skin from going over the head.
At age 16, I asked to be circumcised, but my parents said no because they worried I was being impulsive and that I would regret it. They told me if I still wanted to have it done when I was 18, they would pay for it. In my teens, I was in a relationship with at least one girl at a time, usually more, so the timing didn’t work to have the operation for fear of being discovered. My largest fear during my teen years was that someone would discover I wasn’t cut and would humiliate me. That’s part of why I was in multiple relationships at a time. I wanted to convince as many girls as possible that I was circumcised. This included thinking up a game where my friends and I took Polaroids of our dicks and the girls in our circle of friends had to match up which belonged to each guy. When I was 18-19, my girlfriend asked what they line under my sulcus was. I told her it was where I was circumcised, which she believed.
During high school, I discovered circlist, which at the time, was the best and most in depth procircumcision website that wasn’t flooded with gay porn. It can be tricky navigating the web when you are a straight guy with a circumcision kink nowadays, it was even more difficult back in the late 90’s and early 00’s. I discovered a post called “How to feel circumcised”* I was in love with this method of retraction. I could walk around with a drum tight shaft and never have to adjust myself. I could masturbate vigorously without holding the base of my penis to keep it tight and the skin would not come near the glans. This was the best thing I’d discovered since being able to keep my foreskin retracted with a swipe of the fingers disguised as a scratch or adjustment. This experience helped me discover something about what it must feel like to be circumcised I had never considered. I’d always thought of being cut as just being unable to pull the remaining skin to or past the coronal ridge of the glans. I never thought about the skin tension where the penis joins the body. Pulling the shaft skin towards the head pulled on the tissue surrounding the base of my penis and my scrotum. This was a whole new experience and I imagined, much closer to actually being circumcised. This method is great and I would highly recommend it for any guys considering circumcision or guys that are curious about what it feels like to be cut. As I would discover, there is one other sensation you can only feel if you are circumcised. More on that later.
I would’ve kept myself retracted using this method nearly all the time, except I noticed it seemed to stretch my foreskin out, so when I wasn’t taped up, it was harder to keep retracted and my foreskin almost seemed longer. Since I couldn’t fool around with girls with this tape on without being discovered, I didn’t want to appear like I had an even looser cut than they probably thought or even worse, it they learned I wasn’t cut. I wanted to feel like a cut guy in every way possible and I knew a happily circumcised man wouldn’t walk around with tape on his penis. Sometimes seeing that tape reminded me I wasn’t cut more than not having it on did. I would keep it taped for a day or two and then not do it again for another week. Other times, I’d just use the tape when I’d masturbate, which was really cool at the time.
At age 23, I got to a point where I was finally single, I decided to get circumcised. By this time, my foreskin had been kept retracted for 12 years and when I went in for my pre-op physical, the doctor was confused and asked why I wanted to get circumcised again. He thought it had already been done. My reasons for wanting it were purely cosmetic and psychological. I never had any issues with my foreskin and keeping it retracted had pretty much eliminated any issues with smell. The one thing I hated was having the foreskin bunch up and slid over the ridge of the glans. I also felt I didn’t last long enough in bed and wanted some of the sensitive inner foreskin tissue removed.
Once I met with the urologist, I told him I wanted to get circumcised. I was relieved it would be done under general anesthesia and he had a good reputation as a urologist. The one thing I regret is not discussing the style of circumcision I wanted. I really wanted it to look like the nurses had been able to whisk me away fast enough when I was born, meaning I wanted a high and tight cut, although at the time, I wanted to keep my frenulum. I was conflicted about asking for a high cut because I wanted the sensation reduced a bit.
I believe my doctor used the sleeve resection technique with a combination of dissolving and non-dissolving stitches. At my follow-up I asked him about the tightness, because even when completely flaccid, the skin was absolutely immobile and this worried me. I thought he’d taken too much skin. He explained there was more skin under the non-dissolving stitches and it would loosen up once those stitches fell out. When I took the bandages off, I was happy to see that I didn’t have a really high cut nor a really low cut. The incision was made perpendicular to the shaft, so there is less inner skin on the top side of the penis than on the underside. This gives a neat appearance with more sensitive inner foreskin on the underside. I would estimate the amount of inner foreskin on the underside of the penis is the same length as the underside of the glans. The thing I mentioned earlier that could only be experienced through being circumcised is the huge difference in sensation from the shaft skin to the circ scar to the remaining inner foreskin. There’s an abrupt change from being not sensitive at all to very sensitive in the span of a half inch. With a normal foreskin, this is more of a transition and doesn’t go from 0 to 10 in a short span. Another thing I noticed was I could feel this change at all times. It’s like there was a circle of different sensation around my dick.
Looking back 11 years later, I would’ve prefered the scar placement to be closer to the base of the penis so I would have a typical high and tight cut. This is more for aesthetics, but a little more inner foreskin wouldn’t hurt. Ironically, I discovered my issues with stamina were not so much from having too much inner foreskin, but how I mentally approach sex and allow myself to get too mentally stimulated.
* http://www.circlist.com/preferences/feelcut.html
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