lottie matthews x fem!reader
𖤓°⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ wc; 1400+
𖤓°⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ summary: How the reader has dealt with Lottie Matthews being missing for 18 months, it was almost as if she took your spirit with you and left only your body to wander.
𖤓°⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ a/n: This is before the actual story, so it's just a little background. I'll definitely cover how Lottie and Reader met, too. Doing a part two on this soon, so stick around if you'd like! ;)
Those were the last words you uttered to your girlfriend, Lottie Matthews. As she left the passenger seat of the car, the night before she would go to nationals. You watched her walk into her house, not knowing that would be the last you would see her for 18 months.
18 months of sobbing into your pillow, walking the school halls alone, keeping track of the news for any new alerts, and watching what seemed to be most of the world forgetting about them within a month and a half.
Replaying that same memory in your head.
You should've told her you loved her.
What kind of girlfriend just says, 'Good luck, babe?'
You even wondered if this was your fault, I mean you weren't religious but maybe if you just.. just..
took her out more and didn't focus so much on your exams
went to more of her soccer practices and matches to cheer her on
wasn't afraid to be close to her in public for fear of judgment
There were so many other things you could've done, and maybe if you had done any of them, she would've made it to nationals, and right now you two would probably be downing Gino's burger with the Pixies playing in the background.
But no, you were alone in your car, staring at the burger you'd only taken a small bite out of, not listening to the Pixies — you hadn't touched that CD since she left, it still being in the CD player of your car.
You stared through your window at the night sky, in some empty parking lot, as you took another bite.
Lottie was alive; not one soul could convince you otherwise. Some family members would kind of bring in past tense words as if to say she's dead.
You could feel it so deeply in your bones that she was alive; you felt empty, yes, but not empty enough to be grieving her.
You even wondered what she was doing this moment, hoping that she was okay and not hurt, and wondered if she was thinking about you and all those moments together.
Tears prickled your eyes as they trickle down your cheeks as you put the burger to the side. You only ate this to try to keep anything between you and Lottie's alive.
The day you heard the news, you didn't find out on the radio or on TV.
No, you found out at your shitty job, clueless, wiping the crumbs off the counters on a Wednesday. Your co-worker, Ashley, who had a history of being an insensitive asshole towards you, especially during the past 18 months, about the topic of the missing soccer girls -- she didn't even try to say their names.
"You heard the news?" She uttered to you with her pretentious smirk as she leaned over the counter.
You looked at her, squinting your eyes, wondering if this old-ass restaurant was finally closing down, and you would be losing your job. Yay.
"What we all getting fired or something?" You said with a slight chuckle.
"No.. the plane, that one with the um those soccer girls? They've found them."
You wondered if she was playing some sick joke on you, or maybe this was a dream.. God, you hope not.
Though she had that casual tone and pretentious smirk on her face, this didn't seem like some sick joke.
You stayed calm, which you didn't think would be how you would react.
You always imagined that when you found out that they had found the plane, you would burst into tears and scream.
It wasn't like you didn't care.
You were in shock because internally, you felt like you were about to faint.
Who knows how many minutes it was until you replied to your co-worker? Maybe a little too long, as you finally uttered with a shaky voice, which you attempted to hold back but failed.
"Did they... did they say all of them?"
"Huh?" Ashley replied, already stalled with something else.
"Did they say if all the girls are rescued?"
"Who knows? Just said that they found them."
For those little days, you had felt a buzz of hope within you. Only because on TV, you SAW your LOTTIE MATTHEWS along with the other girls being questioned and hovered over with all those flashing cameras as she was being guided to a plane.
Lottie Matthews was alive.
The one you said for the last time before she went on that plane,
For those days that you waited for that plane to land and bring her here, you did a little self-reflecting --- physically and mentally.
Physically, you had terrible eye bags. I mean, you've had some before, but these were a bit darker and more noticeable. You hadn't gotten much sleep since she left.
Your hair grew out to be a bit messier and longer. You hadn't cut it since she left.
Your makeup products are collecting dust. You hadn't even glammed up or whatever the fuck since she left.
Your outfits were a bit crapper. You only go to work, school, and home. What's the point of dressing up if your girlfriend has been gone for the last 18 months?
Mentally, you were sucked into a dark wormhole since she left, sucking out all your energy.
You did try to hang out with your friends, but there would be moments when you would be sitting there while everyone else talked, and you just stared into the distance, empty.
Most people avoided or ignored you at school; you were like a zombie in the halls just waiting to be revived.
Your grades were worsening slightly; some were ending up in C's. I mean, you weren't the smartest, but not the dumbest. You just didn't care anymore.
You would hear some say that doing all this because your 'friend' got on a plane and never came back is unhealthy because we're only in high school.
Those who would say that were your parents, utterly clueless to the fact that your friend was the love of your life and the only person you truly cared about in this shitty town.
You thought about all of that as you stared at the ceiling, just waiting and reminiscing.
Reminiscing about the little moments between you and Lottie.
When she would just be here in bed with you and rub her fingers around your facial features, under your eye, tracing your nose, and beneath your lips, and around the swell of your cheek.. sometimes it would be sunset when she did that, the sun seeping into the shades as you felt her breathe against your skin.
When she would spoil you, not random expensive crap or anything, but she would bring you things you brought up once, like new CD covers, makeup, food cravings, hoodies/cardigans, but not because you complained you were cold, but because you shivered once or twice near her and she hated seeing you be uncomfortable even if it was for a moment.
You even loved a little ritual you guys had -- whether you made it to her soccer matches or not, you would drive her to Gino's to pick up burgers, sit in the car, and just be near each other as you downed those cheesy burgers, while the Pixies played. You guys did this in an empty parking lot, because, well, you guys did make out a 'little' too.
Oh, and little intimate moments of making out, she would be so gentle with you, holding your hair back a little to see more of your face and just pulling your hips closer as she dragged her lips against your jaw as she would whisper such things in your ear like, "God, you're perfect." or "I just want to stay here with you forever."
When that plane FINALLY came, it was difficult to reach Lottie Matthews,
Her parents kept her away from you, well, not specifically you, just away from the media, which meant away from the public altogether, and that meant away from you. Between the funerals held for the ones who didn't survive the plane crash, the statue of Jackie Taylor memorial, and the dozens of news covers around the town, it was pure chaos. It became increasingly difficult to see Lottie again.
Until it wasn't.. until you finally saw her after those long, dreadful 18 months.
Lottie stared at you.. not look.. she STARED.. with an intense look as her eyebrows knit together. She had that familiar look in her eyes..but there was just something..off..ʇuǝɹǝɟɟıp.. about your girlfriend.
You only thought that she was just experiencing trauma from the plane crash and being stuck in the woods for 18 months, which was normal!
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