Hey Froggie, I was wondering if you had some advice. As you know, having a disability kinda sucks sometimes. I try to be positive and think about what I can do, but sometimes it's hard and I end up thinking about how I'm limited instead. Right now I can't work/study full time, can't drive and I feel really discouraged because I'm young and "should" be out making something of myself. How does one cope with being limited? (hope this doesn't offend, looking for perspective & I really respect you)
I think the first thing you should do is rid yourself of the notion that you must be positive at all times. Having a positive outlook, being a positive personâthese are good things. But requiring yourself to be dandy in a shitty situation at all times is going to end up hurting more than helping.Â
Sometimes you need to get angry. Or sad. Or depressed. Sometimes you need to feel these negative emotions so you can expel them and deal with them. Coping is often just letting yourself feel things without any shame or guilt.Â
The other suggestion I have is to take pride in even the smallest of accomplishments. It used to be that I would beat myself up for not getting a shower. I would be too tired and unable to stand long enough to take one. But now, when I finally do get a shower, I pat myself on the effing back. I let myself feel that small thing as a major accomplishment. And it helps.Â
Just recently I ventured out of the house to see Star Wars. THAT WAS HUGE. I felt terrible afterwards. My life sucked for several days. But damn, my sense of accomplishment was through the roof.Â
I guess Iâm saying you have to adjust your sense of scale. Yes, you have to accept that you arenât going to do all the things able folks can. But that doesnât mean the things you accomplish arenât valid. Stop comparing yourself to them. It is not a competition.Â
Maybe your life wonât turn out the way you thought. But I promise you will adapt. Humans are incredible at adapting. You will find a new path that allows for your disability. You will find new ways to accomplish things big and small. Just give it time.Â
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