READ "HOT ALLOSTATIC LOAD"

the only HIV+ person tumblr knows. gay cis man, drug addict in recovery, i used to do porn

[sobercommunist]

Why apologize or claim to have matured without any change in behavior at all? For that matter, why apologize at all to people you seem to truly believe are incapable of any redemption?

I’m in an expansive mood, and this has come up before from other people, so I am going to address your question directly.

First: the only way you can credibly claim that there has been no change in my behavior is if you are being dishonest about your objections to my behavior. From the beginning, it was made clear to me that the issue was my use of the word “bitch,” and later, of the word “cunt.” The issue was verbal abuse. The issue was avoiding blocks, harassing people, and wishing harm upon them. The issue was misogynistic language, the issue was my saying “get raped”, “get murdered,” “go fuck yourself.”

I have stopped all of that behavior. I have also stopped engaging in public discourse, I have stopped interacting with the radfem community (really, with anyone on Tumbler who I don’t know personally), and I have shuttered this blog for the most part. I have a private blog to interact with my friends and collect my own thoughts, which I do not tag. I would have preferred that blog to remain private, but alas, some people took it upon themselves to seek me out and then publicize me. 

So when you say, “why claim to have matured without any change in behavior at all?” it indicates to me that your real issue is not with any of what I listed above. Because the only element of my behavior that hasn’t changed is the way I talk about my political and social beliefs. I still think radfems are virulently homophobic, that they gleefully support HIV stigma, that they are engaged in a reactionary and despicable political project based in patriarchal disgust. In fact, I have always maintained that this was the case, that people were actually objecting to those politics and not the fact that I called some radfem the b-word. 

Second: this message indicates that you don’t really understand what apologies are. Regardless of whether or not you are being dishonest about your objections (and you are being dishonest, just so we’re clear, as you always have been), it is still wrong to verbally abuse people. It doesn’t matter that @egoisteclipse espouses serophobic conspiracy theories that make Jerry Falwell look like a member of GLAAD, or that she repeatedly apologized for my rapist and questioned my status as a survivor of rape. Saying, “I am glad you were raped” is wrong. I owe an amends for that behavior, and it is unacceptable for me to continue it. 

So when you ask, “why apologize to people you seem to truly believe are incapable of redemption?” it shows that you don’t understand why I apologized at all. I am apologizing for my wrong-doings, not theirs. If egoisteclipse or her friends want to apologize for their shocking treatment, I’m all ears, but even if they never do, my responsibilities don’t change.

If any of this confused you, I suggest you call your sponsor. Have a great day!

[sobercommunist]

Last Post

OK. Writing this took me longer than I wanted, but such is life. This is the last thing I will be posting on this blog– for a number of reasons, but primarily because I completed the steps again more thoroughly, and because I moved to Ireland to start graduate school– but before I retire this platform, I wanted to attempt to make things right. 

I regret and apologize for much of my behavior. I regret using the invective that I used. I regret engaging in verbal abuse. I regret using misogynist language, and I regret attacking other people’s experiences of sexual assault. I regret sending anonymous messages to harass people. I regret telling people to kill themselves, and I regret telling people to get raped. I regret wishing harm on people. I regret mocking, belittling, and disparaging people. This is behavior I no longer condone or wish to engage in.

I was acting on fear and on anger. I was lashing out because I felt attacked; for my HIV status, for my status as a survivor of rape, for my status as an addict in recovery, and for my sexuality. I was acting on hatred as well. All of these are parts of me that I would like to leave behind.

I wish I had not engaged with harassment and abuse. I wish I had not reacted, or allowed myself to be drawn into vicious fights. I wish I had ignored, blocked, and not engaged when baited. I wish I could have identified all of these patterns earlier, and that I would have listened to the people advising me to step away. 

My solution is to cease all engagement of a political nature: no discourse, no nothing. I will also not engage in any of the behavior listed above. I will not engage in verbal abuse of any kind whatsoever. I will not post anything further to this blog, nor will I resurrect it at any later time. I will not send anonymous messages. I will try my best to practice kindness and compassion in my conduct online. 

Normally, I would have asked if there was anything I had left out, and if there is anything else I can do to make things right, but this is an “open amends,” as it were. So instead, I have unblocked everyone, but have turned off anonymous messaging. If there is something you feel I have not addressed, or if you would like to ask me to do something beyond what I have proposed, please feel free to message me. I will not respond publicly, and I will not respond to abuse.

If you care to, I would appreciate if you could spread this post around.  

God is big, Conor 

[sobercommunist]

Since I have seen several people express disbelief in my sincerity or dissatisfaction with my phrasing, I asked @menalez if I could mention the conversation she and I had. I apologized to her, we talked about some additional things I could do to make things right, and I believe we reached some closure. If you doubt that I am being genuine in my commitment to make amends, you can ask her. As always, I am happy to talk, and I will not respond to abuse or bad faith.

[godh8er-deactivated20220626]

About time you repented

[sobercommunist]

To reiterate (and this offer is open to anyone, including Aili at whatever her new URL is), I am happy to listen to additional requests for action on my part in order to set things right, including requests to make a new post expanding or adding points.

And since it has been brought up, I am using a new blog (@archaeocommunologist). In the interest of disclosure, all of the commitments I laid out above are being observed (i.e. no discourse, no harasssment). I use that blog to keep up with a handful of friends and to track a few of my nerdier interests, that’s it. If you doubt my sincerity, again, you can talk to @menalez.

[mithliya]

i know now that sobercommunist was not at all sincere & im not going to be his little servant that vouches for him when he had the audacity to shit talk me and then scold me when i responded. he’s the exact same guy, justifying his misogyny & lesbophobia on a different blog & justifying wishing rape & abuse on women. he’s also two-faced & will happily use woc as his personal lapdogs bc the reality is he can’t & won’t ACTUALLY redeem himself

[sobercommunist]

I can’t recall if I asked, or if you offered, but I know for a fact that you agreed to vouch for me, as part of our conversation around my amends. The fact that you are now retroactively framing that freely-chosen course of action on your part as “using you as my personal lapdog” is dishonest. Your entire response here is dishonest. 

You also seem to be unclear on what I was apologizing for (and, indeed, how apologies work in general). I made it very clear to you that I was not apologizing for calling your politics homophobic, for saying you support and propagate HIV stigma, or for saying that you regularly engage in rhetoric laden with the vilest transmisogyny. All of those things remain true. I laid out very clearly what I was committing to in terms of behavior and “not talk about you” was not a promise I made, nor was it something you asked of me. Nevermind that the post I wrote did not mention you by name, nor did it mention any details that could be used to identify you. 

The fact that you apparently thought my apology and amends meant I bore no bad feelings toward you says a great deal about your maturity. I do not like you. I do not like your friends. I do not want anything to do with you, outside of trying to set right where I have done harm. 

This is the second time you have decided to come at me unprovoked, and I am going to ask that it be the last. Thank you for being understanding.

[mithliya]

it was both. except my offer was that i could approach people that you want to apologise to but feel it would be inappropriate to approach. but the moment you decided to talk down to me as if i was your personal servant all while using me as someone to vouch for you, that offer was completely revoked.

your beliefs that im somehow a hateful person (which is ironic to say the least, im not the one constantly making posts painting women & lesbians as especially homophobic / serophobic) doesn’t justify firstly completely misrepresenting our conversation, vagueblogging about me & talking negatively of me, all WHILE using me on your other blog as your public defender. the line i draw is with helping people who actively lie about me & shit talk me all while expecting me to still vouch for them (which is entitled to say the least).

also you keep saying this as if im desperate to be your friend. i don’t like you nor your friends either. you and your friends sit there constantly policing lesbians, policing women, speaking over both groups, politicise who lesbians do / don’t sleep with, justify telling women to get raped etc. my offer was to help you make amends. that offer was one i made simply because im always happy to help someone better themselves. but the tea is you haven’t bettered yourself, at all. you’re literally the same exact person. you apologised because you were called out persistently. you still believe you were justified in saying the things you did, you still believe people calling you out on wishing them death & rape is evidence of homophobia & serophobia. the first time you said this to me over messages was annoying enough, but since you’re saying this again let me take the time to be perfectly clear: the last time i liked you was at least 3 years ago. i stopped liking you the moment your misogyny started coming out & the moment you made it clear there weren’t any boundaries you wouldn’t cross. i have no interest in anything to do with you.

so here’s me officially stating that i do not think you’re sincere anymore. i don’t think you’ve changed. i think you just want to move on and start over somewhere where you won’t be scrutinised. and you know now that acting the way you did online could jeopardise your future, that’s why you apologised and started over all of a sudden. maybe im wrong about that bit but 🤷🏾‍♀️ y’all can go and see for yourselves and judge if you think this is someone who’s genuinely changed. check his personal blog for yourself.

[sobercommunist]

Again, you seem to think that you are entitled to me thinking well of you. I don’t, and likely never will (especially as an apology doesn’t seem to be forthcoming, since you also totally deny how you’ve been homophobic and how you have propagated HIV stigma. But I’m sure the HIV-negative girl would know better about all that!)

I have nothing further to apologize to you for. I didn’t force you to seek out an untagged anonymous post and upset yourself, and I did not further force you to identify yourself as the person being talked about. For someone with “no interest” in anything to do with me, you’ve sure gotten involved!

I’ve been nothing but civil to you. I want nothing more than to be left alone. I do not appreciate you holding me up for discussion among your terf followers, and I do not appreciate the barrage of accusations based on nothing. The rest of your speculations about my motives are bizarre. “Jeopardize my future?” This is a blog that never had more than several hundred followers, and my new blog has fewer than 50. What “future.”

You’re welcome to revoke your offer, and you’re welcome to doubt my sincerity. I’m blocking you. Do not contact me again. Thanks!

[sobercommunist]

Last Post

OK. Writing this took me longer than I wanted, but such is life. This is the last thing I will be posting on this blog– for a number of reasons, but primarily because I completed the steps again more thoroughly, and because I moved to Ireland to start graduate school– but before I retire this platform, I wanted to attempt to make things right. 

I regret and apologize for much of my behavior. I regret using the invective that I used. I regret engaging in verbal abuse. I regret using misogynist language, and I regret attacking other people’s experiences of sexual assault. I regret sending anonymous messages to harass people. I regret telling people to kill themselves, and I regret telling people to get raped. I regret wishing harm on people. I regret mocking, belittling, and disparaging people. This is behavior I no longer condone or wish to engage in.

I was acting on fear and on anger. I was lashing out because I felt attacked; for my HIV status, for my status as a survivor of rape, for my status as an addict in recovery, and for my sexuality. I was acting on hatred as well. All of these are parts of me that I would like to leave behind.

I wish I had not engaged with harassment and abuse. I wish I had not reacted, or allowed myself to be drawn into vicious fights. I wish I had ignored, blocked, and not engaged when baited. I wish I could have identified all of these patterns earlier, and that I would have listened to the people advising me to step away. 

My solution is to cease all engagement of a political nature: no discourse, no nothing. I will also not engage in any of the behavior listed above. I will not engage in verbal abuse of any kind whatsoever. I will not post anything further to this blog, nor will I resurrect it at any later time. I will not send anonymous messages. I will try my best to practice kindness and compassion in my conduct online. 

Normally, I would have asked if there was anything I had left out, and if there is anything else I can do to make things right, but this is an “open amends,” as it were. So instead, I have unblocked everyone, but have turned off anonymous messaging. If there is something you feel I have not addressed, or if you would like to ask me to do something beyond what I have proposed, please feel free to message me. I will not respond publicly, and I will not respond to abuse.

If you care to, I would appreciate if you could spread this post around.  

God is big, Conor 

[sobercommunist]

Since I have seen several people express disbelief in my sincerity or dissatisfaction with my phrasing, I asked @menalez if I could mention the conversation she and I had. I apologized to her, we talked about some additional things I could do to make things right, and I believe we reached some closure. If you doubt that I am being genuine in my commitment to make amends, you can ask her. As always, I am happy to talk, and I will not respond to abuse or bad faith.

[godh8er-deactivated20220626]

About time you repented

[sobercommunist]

To reiterate (and this offer is open to anyone, including Aili at whatever her new URL is), I am happy to listen to additional requests for action on my part in order to set things right, including requests to make a new post expanding or adding points.

And since it has been brought up, I am using a new blog (@archaeocommunologist). In the interest of disclosure, all of the commitments I laid out above are being observed (i.e. no discourse, no harasssment). I use that blog to keep up with a handful of friends and to track a few of my nerdier interests, that’s it. If you doubt my sincerity, again, you can talk to @menalez.

[mithliya]

i know now that sobercommunist was not at all sincere & im not going to be his little servant that vouches for him when he had the audacity to shit talk me and then scold me when i responded. he’s the exact same guy, justifying his misogyny & lesbophobia on a different blog & justifying wishing rape & abuse on women. he’s also two-faced & will happily use woc as his personal lapdogs bc the reality is he can’t & won’t ACTUALLY redeem himself

[sobercommunist]

I can’t recall if I asked, or if you offered, but I know for a fact that you agreed to vouch for me, as part of our conversation around my amends. The fact that you are now retroactively framing that freely-chosen course of action on your part as “using you as my personal lapdog” is dishonest. Your entire response here is dishonest. 

You also seem to be unclear on what I was apologizing for (and, indeed, how apologies work in general). I made it very clear to you that I was not apologizing for calling your politics homophobic, for saying you support and propagate HIV stigma, or for saying that you regularly engage in rhetoric laden with the vilest transmisogyny. All of those things remain true. I laid out very clearly what I was committing to in terms of behavior and “not talk about you” was not a promise I made, nor was it something you asked of me. Nevermind that the post I wrote did not mention you by name, nor did it mention any details that could be used to identify you. 

The fact that you apparently thought my apology and amends meant I bore no bad feelings toward you says a great deal about your maturity. I do not like you. I do not like your friends. I do not want anything to do with you, outside of trying to set right where I have done harm. 

This is the second time you have decided to come at me unprovoked, and I am going to ask that it be the last. Thank you for being understanding.

[sobercommunist]

Last Post

OK. Writing this took me longer than I wanted, but such is life. This is the last thing I will be posting on this blog– for a number of reasons, but primarily because I completed the steps again more thoroughly, and because I moved to Ireland to start graduate school– but before I retire this platform, I wanted to attempt to make things right. 

I regret and apologize for much of my behavior. I regret using the invective that I used. I regret engaging in verbal abuse. I regret using misogynist language, and I regret attacking other people’s experiences of sexual assault. I regret sending anonymous messages to harass people. I regret telling people to kill themselves, and I regret telling people to get raped. I regret wishing harm on people. I regret mocking, belittling, and disparaging people. This is behavior I no longer condone or wish to engage in.

I was acting on fear and on anger. I was lashing out because I felt attacked; for my HIV status, for my status as a survivor of rape, for my status as an addict in recovery, and for my sexuality. I was acting on hatred as well. All of these are parts of me that I would like to leave behind.

I wish I had not engaged with harassment and abuse. I wish I had not reacted, or allowed myself to be drawn into vicious fights. I wish I had ignored, blocked, and not engaged when baited. I wish I could have identified all of these patterns earlier, and that I would have listened to the people advising me to step away. 

My solution is to cease all engagement of a political nature: no discourse, no nothing. I will also not engage in any of the behavior listed above. I will not engage in verbal abuse of any kind whatsoever. I will not post anything further to this blog, nor will I resurrect it at any later time. I will not send anonymous messages. I will try my best to practice kindness and compassion in my conduct online. 

Normally, I would have asked if there was anything I had left out, and if there is anything else I can do to make things right, but this is an “open amends,” as it were. So instead, I have unblocked everyone, but have turned off anonymous messaging. If there is something you feel I have not addressed, or if you would like to ask me to do something beyond what I have proposed, please feel free to message me. I will not respond publicly, and I will not respond to abuse.

If you care to, I would appreciate if you could spread this post around.  

God is big, Conor 

[sobercommunist]

Since I have seen several people express disbelief in my sincerity or dissatisfaction with my phrasing, I asked @menalez if I could mention the conversation she and I had. I apologized to her, we talked about some additional things I could do to make things right, and I believe we reached some closure. If you doubt that I am being genuine in my commitment to make amends, you can ask her. As always, I am happy to talk, and I will not respond to abuse or bad faith.

[godh8er-deactivated20220626]

About time you repented

[sobercommunist]

To reiterate (and this offer is open to anyone, including Aili at whatever her new URL is), I am happy to listen to additional requests for action on my part in order to set things right, including requests to make a new post expanding or adding points.

And since it has been brought up, I am using a new blog (@archaeocommunologist). In the interest of disclosure, all of the commitments I laid out above are being observed (i.e. no discourse, no harasssment). I use that blog to keep up with a handful of friends and to track a few of my nerdier interests, that's it. If you doubt my sincerity, again, you can talk to @menalez.

[sobercommunist]

Last Post

OK. Writing this took me longer than I wanted, but such is life. This is the last thing I will be posting on this blog– for a number of reasons, but primarily because I completed the steps again more thoroughly, and because I moved to Ireland to start graduate school– but before I retire this platform, I wanted to attempt to make things right. 

I regret and apologize for much of my behavior. I regret using the invective that I used. I regret engaging in verbal abuse. I regret using misogynist language, and I regret attacking other people’s experiences of sexual assault. I regret sending anonymous messages to harass people. I regret telling people to kill themselves, and I regret telling people to get raped. I regret wishing harm on people. I regret mocking, belittling, and disparaging people. This is behavior I no longer condone or wish to engage in.

I was acting on fear and on anger. I was lashing out because I felt attacked; for my HIV status, for my status as a survivor of rape, for my status as an addict in recovery, and for my sexuality. I was acting on hatred as well. All of these are parts of me that I would like to leave behind.

I wish I had not engaged with harassment and abuse. I wish I had not reacted, or allowed myself to be drawn into vicious fights. I wish I had ignored, blocked, and not engaged when baited. I wish I could have identified all of these patterns earlier, and that I would have listened to the people advising me to step away. 

My solution is to cease all engagement of a political nature: no discourse, no nothing. I will also not engage in any of the behavior listed above. I will not engage in verbal abuse of any kind whatsoever. I will not post anything further to this blog, nor will I resurrect it at any later time. I will not send anonymous messages. I will try my best to practice kindness and compassion in my conduct online. 

Normally, I would have asked if there was anything I had left out, and if there is anything else I can do to make things right, but this is an “open amends,” as it were. So instead, I have unblocked everyone, but have turned off anonymous messaging. If there is something you feel I have not addressed, or if you would like to ask me to do something beyond what I have proposed, please feel free to message me. I will not respond publicly, and I will not respond to abuse.

If you care to, I would appreciate if you could spread this post around.  

God is big, Conor 

[sobercommunist]

Since I have seen several people express disbelief in my sincerity or dissatisfaction with my phrasing, I asked @menalez if I could mention the conversation she and I had. I apologized to her, we talked about some additional things I could do to make things right, and I believe we reached some closure. If you doubt that I am being genuine in my commitment to make amends, you can ask her. As always, I am happy to talk, and I will not respond to abuse or bad faith.

[sobercommunist]

Last Post

OK. Writing this took me longer than I wanted, but such is life. This is the last thing I will be posting on this blog– for a number of reasons, but primarily because I completed the steps again more thoroughly, and because I moved to Ireland to start graduate school– but before I retire this platform, I wanted to attempt to make things right. 

I regret and apologize for much of my behavior. I regret using the invective that I used. I regret engaging in verbal abuse. I regret using misogynist language, and I regret attacking other people’s experiences of sexual assault. I regret sending anonymous messages to harass people. I regret telling people to kill themselves, and I regret telling people to get raped. I regret wishing harm on people. I regret mocking, belittling, and disparaging people. This is behavior I no longer condone or wish to engage in.

I was acting on fear and on anger. I was lashing out because I felt attacked; for my HIV status, for my status as a survivor of rape, for my status as an addict in recovery, and for my sexuality. I was acting on hatred as well. All of these are parts of me that I would like to leave behind.

I wish I had not engaged with harassment and abuse. I wish I had not reacted, or allowed myself to be drawn into vicious fights. I wish I had ignored, blocked, and not engaged when baited. I wish I could have identified all of these patterns earlier, and that I would have listened to the people advising me to step away. 

My solution is to cease all engagement of a political nature: no discourse, no nothing. I will also not engage in any of the behavior listed above. I will not engage in verbal abuse of any kind whatsoever. I will not post anything further to this blog, nor will I resurrect it at any later time. I will not send anonymous messages. I will try my best to practice kindness and compassion in my conduct online. 

Normally, I would have asked if there was anything I had left out, and if there is anything else I can do to make things right, but this is an “open amends,” as it were. So instead, I have unblocked everyone, but have turned off anonymous messaging. If there is something you feel I have not addressed, or if you would like to ask me to do something beyond what I have proposed, please feel free to message me. I will not respond publicly, and I will not respond to abuse.

If you care to, I would appreciate if you could spread this post around.  

God is big, Conor 

[sobercommunist]

Since @secretarybirdgirl asked, I can only speak for myself and can only attempt to make amends for my own actions. Again: if you feel I have left something out, or if there is something I can do to make things right with you, I am happy to listen. I will not respond to abuse or bad faith.

[sobercommunist]

Last Post

OK. Writing this took me longer than I wanted, but such is life. This is the last thing I will be posting on this blog– for a number of reasons, but primarily because I completed the steps again more thoroughly, and because I moved to Ireland to start graduate school– but before I retire this platform, I wanted to attempt to make things right. 

I regret and apologize for much of my behavior. I regret using the invective that I used. I regret engaging in verbal abuse. I regret using misogynist language, and I regret attacking other people’s experiences of sexual assault. I regret sending anonymous messages to harass people. I regret telling people to kill themselves, and I regret telling people to get raped. I regret wishing harm on people. I regret mocking, belittling, and disparaging people. This is behavior I no longer condone or wish to engage in.

I was acting on fear and on anger. I was lashing out because I felt attacked; for my HIV status, for my status as a survivor of rape, for my status as an addict in recovery, and for my sexuality. I was acting on hatred as well. All of these are parts of me that I would like to leave behind.

I wish I had not engaged with harassment and abuse. I wish I had not reacted, or allowed myself to be drawn into vicious fights. I wish I had ignored, blocked, and not engaged when baited. I wish I could have identified all of these patterns earlier, and that I would have listened to the people advising me to step away. 

My solution is to cease all engagement of a political nature: no discourse, no nothing. I will also not engage in any of the behavior listed above. I will not engage in verbal abuse of any kind whatsoever. I will not post anything further to this blog, nor will I resurrect it at any later time. I will not send anonymous messages. I will try my best to practice kindness and compassion in my conduct online. 

Normally, I would have asked if there was anything I had left out, and if there is anything else I can do to make things right, but this is an “open amends,” as it were. So instead, I have unblocked everyone, but have turned off anonymous messaging. If there is something you feel I have not addressed, or if you would like to ask me to do something beyond what I have proposed, please feel free to message me. I will not respond publicly, and I will not respond to abuse.

If you care to, I would appreciate if you could spread this post around.  

God is big, Conor 

[mithliya]

if only you could actually directly apologise for your actions to the people you hurt instead of writing a vague uncaring apology that serves nothing but help your image

[actuallyhashtags]

The problem with Christians is they never ask forgiveness from the people they hurt they think talking in their head to an imaginary person and ask themselves for forgiveness is equivalent to actually asking for forgiveness.

[sobercommunist]

Since I can't message you directly, I wanted to reiterate that if you feel my amends are insufficient, or if there is something I can do to make things right in your eyes, that I am open and willing to talk. I chose to attempt amends in this manner because many of the people who I have hurt have me blocked, and contacting them would be acting against their expressed wishes.

[sobercommunist]

Last Post

OK. Writing this took me longer than I wanted, but such is life. This is the last thing I will be posting on this blog– for a number of reasons, but primarily because I completed the steps again more thoroughly, and because I moved to Ireland to start graduate school– but before I retire this platform, I wanted to attempt to make things right. 

I regret and apologize for much of my behavior. I regret using the invective that I used. I regret engaging in verbal abuse. I regret using misogynist language, and I regret attacking other people’s experiences of sexual assault. I regret sending anonymous messages to harass people. I regret telling people to kill themselves, and I regret telling people to get raped. I regret wishing harm on people. I regret mocking, belittling, and disparaging people. This is behavior I no longer condone or wish to engage in.

I was acting on fear and on anger. I was lashing out because I felt attacked; for my HIV status, for my status as a survivor of rape, for my status as an addict in recovery, and for my sexuality. I was acting on hatred as well. All of these are parts of me that I would like to leave behind.

I wish I had not engaged with harassment and abuse. I wish I had not reacted, or allowed myself to be drawn into vicious fights. I wish I had ignored, blocked, and not engaged when baited. I wish I could have identified all of these patterns earlier, and that I would have listened to the people advising me to step away. 

My solution is to cease all engagement of a political nature: no discourse, no nothing. I will also not engage in any of the behavior listed above. I will not engage in verbal abuse of any kind whatsoever. I will not post anything further to this blog, nor will I resurrect it at any later time. I will not send anonymous messages. I will try my best to practice kindness and compassion in my conduct online. 

Normally, I would have asked if there was anything I had left out, and if there is anything else I can do to make things right, but this is an “open amends,” as it were. So instead, I have unblocked everyone, but have turned off anonymous messaging. If there is something you feel I have not addressed, or if you would like to ask me to do something beyond what I have proposed, please feel free to message me. I will not respond publicly, and I will not respond to abuse.

If you care to, I would appreciate if you could spread this post around.  

God is big, Conor 

[sobercommunist]

Last Post

OK. Writing this took me longer than I wanted, but such is life. This is the last thing I will be posting on this blog– for a number of reasons, but primarily because I completed the steps again more thoroughly, and because I moved to Ireland to start graduate school– but before I retire this platform, I wanted to attempt to make things right. 

I regret and apologize for much of my behavior. I regret using the invective that I used. I regret engaging in verbal abuse. I regret using misogynist language, and I regret attacking other people’s experiences of sexual assault. I regret sending anonymous messages to harass people. I regret telling people to kill themselves, and I regret telling people to get raped. I regret wishing harm on people. I regret mocking, belittling, and disparaging people. This is behavior I no longer condone or wish to engage in.

I was acting on fear and on anger. I was lashing out because I felt attacked; for my HIV status, for my status as a survivor of rape, for my status as an addict in recovery, and for my sexuality. I was acting on hatred as well. All of these are parts of me that I would like to leave behind.

I wish I had not engaged with harassment and abuse. I wish I had not reacted, or allowed myself to be drawn into vicious fights. I wish I had ignored, blocked, and not engaged when baited. I wish I could have identified all of these patterns earlier, and that I would have listened to the people advising me to step away. 

My solution is to cease all engagement of a political nature: no discourse, no nothing. I will also not engage in any of the behavior listed above. I will not engage in verbal abuse of any kind whatsoever. I will not post anything further to this blog, nor will I resurrect it at any later time. I will not send anonymous messages. I will try my best to practice kindness and compassion in my conduct online. 

Normally, I would have asked if there was anything I had left out, and if there is anything else I can do to make things right, but this is an “open amends,” as it were. So instead, I have unblocked everyone, but have turned off anonymous messaging. If there is something you feel I have not addressed, or if you would like to ask me to do something beyond what I have proposed, please feel free to message me. I will not respond publicly, and I will not respond to abuse.

If you care to, I would appreciate if you could spread this post around.  

God is big, Conor 

[sobercommunist]

Last Post

OK. Writing this took me longer than I wanted, but such is life. This is the last thing I will be posting on this blog– for a number of reasons, but primarily because I completed the steps again more thoroughly, and because I moved to Ireland to start graduate school– but before I retire this platform, I wanted to attempt to make things right. 

I regret and apologize for much of my behavior. I regret using the invective that I used. I regret engaging in verbal abuse. I regret using misogynist language, and I regret attacking other people’s experiences of sexual assault. I regret sending anonymous messages to harass people. I regret telling people to kill themselves, and I regret telling people to get raped. I regret wishing harm on people. I regret mocking, belittling, and disparaging people. This is behavior I no longer condone or wish to engage in.

I was acting on fear and on anger. I was lashing out because I felt attacked; for my HIV status, for my status as a survivor of rape, for my status as an addict in recovery, and for my sexuality. I was acting on hatred as well. All of these are parts of me that I would like to leave behind.

I wish I had not engaged with harassment and abuse. I wish I had not reacted, or allowed myself to be drawn into vicious fights. I wish I had ignored, blocked, and not engaged when baited. I wish I could have identified all of these patterns earlier, and that I would have listened to the people advising me to step away. 

My solution is to cease all engagement of a political nature: no discourse, no nothing. I will also not engage in any of the behavior listed above. I will not engage in verbal abuse of any kind whatsoever. I will not post anything further to this blog, nor will I resurrect it at any later time. I will not send anonymous messages. I will try my best to practice kindness and compassion in my conduct online. 

Normally, I would have asked if there was anything I had left out, and if there is anything else I can do to make things right, but this is an “open amends,” as it were. So instead, I have unblocked everyone, but have turned off anonymous messaging. If there is something you feel I have not addressed, or if you would like to ask me to do something beyond what I have proposed, please feel free to message me. I will not respond publicly, and I will not respond to abuse.

If you care to, I would appreciate if you could spread this post around.  

God is big, Conor 

[sobercommunist]

Last Post

OK. Writing this took me longer than I wanted, but such is life. This is the last thing I will be posting on this blog– for a number of reasons, but primarily because I completed the steps again more thoroughly, and because I moved to Ireland to start graduate school– but before I retire this platform, I wanted to attempt to make things right. 

I regret and apologize for much of my behavior. I regret using the invective that I used. I regret engaging in verbal abuse. I regret using misogynist language, and I regret attacking other people’s experiences of sexual assault. I regret sending anonymous messages to harass people. I regret telling people to kill themselves, and I regret telling people to get raped. I regret wishing harm on people. I regret mocking, belittling, and disparaging people. This is behavior I no longer condone or wish to engage in.

I was acting on fear and on anger. I was lashing out because I felt attacked; for my HIV status, for my status as a survivor of rape, for my status as an addict in recovery, and for my sexuality. I was acting on hatred as well. All of these are parts of me that I would like to leave behind.

I wish I had not engaged with harassment and abuse. I wish I had not reacted, or allowed myself to be drawn into vicious fights. I wish I had ignored, blocked, and not engaged when baited. I wish I could have identified all of these patterns earlier, and that I would have listened to the people advising me to step away. 

My solution is to cease all engagement of a political nature: no discourse, no nothing. I will also not engage in any of the behavior listed above. I will not engage in verbal abuse of any kind whatsoever. I will not post anything further to this blog, nor will I resurrect it at any later time. I will not send anonymous messages. I will try my best to practice kindness and compassion in my conduct online. 

Normally, I would have asked if there was anything I had left out, and if there is anything else I can do to make things right, but this is an “open amends,” as it were. So instead, I have unblocked everyone, but have turned off anonymous messaging. If there is something you feel I have not addressed, or if you would like to ask me to do something beyond what I have proposed, please feel free to message me. I will not respond publicly, and I will not respond to abuse.

If you care to, I would appreciate if you could spread this post around.  

God is big, Conor 

[sobercommunist]

Last Post

OK. Writing this took me longer than I wanted, but such is life. This is the last thing I will be posting on this blog– for a number of reasons, but primarily because I completed the steps again more thoroughly, and because I moved to Ireland to start graduate school– but before I retire this platform, I wanted to attempt to make things right. 

I regret and apologize for much of my behavior. I regret using the invective that I used. I regret engaging in verbal abuse. I regret using misogynist language, and I regret attacking other people’s experiences of sexual assault. I regret sending anonymous messages to harass people. I regret telling people to kill themselves, and I regret telling people to get raped. I regret wishing harm on people. I regret mocking, belittling, and disparaging people. This is behavior I no longer condone or wish to engage in.

I was acting on fear and on anger. I was lashing out because I felt attacked; for my HIV status, for my status as a survivor of rape, for my status as an addict in recovery, and for my sexuality. I was acting on hatred as well. All of these are parts of me that I would like to leave behind.

I wish I had not engaged with harassment and abuse. I wish I had not reacted, or allowed myself to be drawn into vicious fights. I wish I had ignored, blocked, and not engaged when baited. I wish I could have identified all of these patterns earlier, and that I would have listened to the people advising me to step away. 

My solution is to cease all engagement of a political nature: no discourse, no nothing. I will also not engage in any of the behavior listed above. I will not engage in verbal abuse of any kind whatsoever. I will not post anything further to this blog, nor will I resurrect it at any later time. I will not send anonymous messages. I will try my best to practice kindness and compassion in my conduct online. 

Normally, I would have asked if there was anything I had left out, and if there is anything else I can do to make things right, but this is an “open amends,” as it were. So instead, I have unblocked everyone, but have turned off anonymous messaging. If there is something you feel I have not addressed, or if you would like to ask me to do something beyond what I have proposed, please feel free to message me. I will not respond publicly, and I will not respond to abuse.

If you care to, I would appreciate if you could spread this post around.  

God is big, Conor 

[sobercommunist]

Last Post

OK. Writing this took me longer than I wanted, but such is life. This is the last thing I will be posting on this blog-- for a number of reasons, but primarily because I completed the steps again more thoroughly, and because I moved to Ireland to start graduate school-- but before I retire this platform, I wanted to attempt to make things right. 

I regret and apologize for much of my behavior. I regret using the invective that I used. I regret engaging in verbal abuse. I regret using misogynist language, and I regret attacking other people’s experiences of sexual assault. I regret sending anonymous messages to harass people. I regret telling people to kill themselves, and I regret telling people to get raped. I regret wishing harm on people. I regret mocking, belittling, and disparaging people. This is behavior I no longer condone or wish to engage in.

I was acting on fear and on anger. I was lashing out because I felt attacked; for my HIV status, for my status as a survivor of rape, for my status as an addict in recovery, and for my sexuality. I was acting on hatred as well. All of these are parts of me that I would like to leave behind.

I wish I had not engaged with harassment and abuse. I wish I had not reacted, or allowed myself to be drawn into vicious fights. I wish I had ignored, blocked, and not engaged when baited. I wish I could have identified all of these patterns earlier, and that I would have listened to the people advising me to step away. 

My solution is to cease all engagement of a political nature: no discourse, no nothing. I will also not engage in any of the behavior listed above. I will not engage in verbal abuse of any kind whatsoever. I will not post anything further to this blog, nor will I resurrect it at any later time. I will not send anonymous messages. I will try my best to practice kindness and compassion in my conduct online. 

Normally, I would have asked if there was anything I had left out, and if there is anything else I can do to make things right, but this is an “open amends,” as it were. So instead, I have unblocked everyone, but have turned off anonymous messaging. If there is something you feel I have not addressed, or if you would like to ask me to do something beyond what I have proposed, please feel free to message me. I will not respond publicly, and I will not respond to abuse.

If you care to, I would appreciate if you could spread this post around.  

God is big, Conor 

[sobercommunist]

Conor what can I do if a friend is using to an extent that I think they might like, die or get seriously injured every day? I don't want to like push him away or anything but I'm so worried.

message me, i’d be happy to talk

[sobercommunist]

hey kids! this is just an update, this blog is still defunct, i’m still figuring out exactly what i want to do with it (i got one message requesting that i leave it up and searchable, so maybe that’s what i’ll do), but other than that everything fucking rules ass in ireland. it rules fucking ass, kids, and i am loving it and living for it. i figured out my money, i’m going to the gym (they don’t have decline benches in ireland???), i’m biking everywhere (i get to bike over picturesque river bridges and there are herons, it’s magical), and i haven’t even re-downloaded grindr (pray for me).

you can follow me on instagram-- i’m eschaton.fetish. anybody is welcome to follow, mutual or not. this blog is going to stay up and i’ll be checking it for a while longer, so if you want to drop me a line feel free. anyway, i’m gonna go back to reading 1980s meeting notes from the world heritage convention, death to america!!! love you!!!

[sobercommunist]

at the airport!!!!!

[sobercommunist]

Wow I used to hate you but my eyes are open. These girls are homophobic and transphobic as fuck.

😘