Oh no I rewatched all of South Park AGAIN and so now I’ve got creek headcanons
- craig is Peruvian. Adopted. Parents thought they couldn’t have kids. Tricia is a miracle baby
- no sabo kid for this reason. Too lazy to learn on his own
- his Latin self manifests in his love of spicy food but he can’t cook for shit and would happily survive on spicy ramen and takis
- likes crooner classics and soppy old adult standards and puts them on while tweek is cooking for them so that he can pull him in for impromptu dance numbers in the kitchen
- a real hopeless romantic but nobody believes tweek when he tells them cus he puts up his ‘tough guy’ persona in front of everyone else. But he will litterally pull out romcom shit on the regular when they’re alone. The only Spanish he knows is stuff he learnt to seduce tweek, reads poetry on the regular (another thing no one believes tweek about) and will copy them out into notes and leave them in tweeks stuff to find later. Honestly just the biggest sap for tweek and no one else.
- is ridiculously handsome (was number one on the girls real list) but had super fucked up teeth and wore braces for years.
- is completely unaware that most people find him ridiculously handsome and consequently never notices when people are flirting with him. You know who does notice though? Tweek. And boy does he get jealous.
- bullies tricia relentlessly and vice versa but if anyone else ever tried it they’d loose several teeth
- actually has really loving and supportive parents. Thomas’ side is a bit conservative and it took him like a week or two to figure out that being gay isn’t a choice but other than that his family have always had an open dialogue about everything and they’re the type of parents who understand that if kids aren’t allowed to express themselves who they see fit (swearing, flipping each other off, hashing out when they’re upset) then they will grow ip feeling like they need to hide things from people and they never want that.
- tweek is always fucking floored when he comes over and realises that they know way more about him than his own parents do because Craig tells them everything
- actually finds knock knock jokes funny. Will die before he lets Jimmy know this.
- sneaks puns into his sentences whenever he can but thinks it’s hilarious to act like it’s unintentional when pulled up on it
- SUPER physically clingy. In public he limits himself to hand holding or an arm around tweek but when alone is fucking glued to him. Is the kinda guy to get really offended when tweek asks for space during cuddles cus he’s hot and then pout for an hour
- attends all of tweeks boxing matches. Finds watching him in the ring incredibly sexy and is aggressively supportive. Embarrasses the hell out of tweek by screaming ‘THATS MY BF, FUCK EM UP BABE!’ And then hangs off his arm afterwards like a trophy wife.
- his parents are shitty in the neglectful/ child labour way so he spends most of his time at the tuckers
- the tuckers all adore him. He helps Linda out in the kitchen and makes meals for the family when she’s out late in her place. Plays dress up games and make believe with tricia when she’s younger and gossips and lets her give him make overs when she gets older. Talks conspiracy theories and politics with Thomas. They all find it fun to tease Craig by claiming that they’re actually tweeks favourite tucker not him.
- I fucking hate when people categorise him as a pathetic little twink and I think he would hate people thinking of him like that too. When people make the joke that his name is ‘twink’ not tweek (Eric Cartman) or insinuate he’s the ‘girl in the relationship’ he will happily throw hands and Craig will simply sit back and watch with a smile cus he’s knows his bfs got this
- loves musical theatre but hates music theatre people and the assumption that he’s like them. Thinks they’re so fucking annoying and pretentious and uses that hatred to fuel his acting performances
- weirdly has an ear for languages and speaks more Spanish than Craig just from picking it up around town. (For this reason he absolutely melts when Craig pulls out some Spanish seduction)
- kept up with boxing after his and Craig’s fight way back when and is a formidable aponent in a fight. That combined with all the heavy lifting he does at his families shop make him really strong. He can pick craig up with absolutely no effort and Craig lives taking advantage of that fact and pretending to be tired and draping himself over Tweek dramatically when he wants a piggy back ride or something
- is slightly shorter than Craig (only by a couple of inches) but is stockyer than him with more muscle mass
- does not tan. Only burns.
- His parents stopped putting meth in the coffee around the time pc principal came to town and they started to get a fucking clue taht drugging your son is bad and after some shitty withdrawal (luckily no relapse cus he was too young to even know what his body wanted) he got off it entirely. Had way too much reliance on caffeine for a while afterwards as a result but nowadays limits himself to three cups a day
- his anxiety got better as he got older thanks to this and nowadays he is managing himself pretty well. Sure he gets an odd anxiety attack every now and then when times are particularly tough, but knows how to stand up for himself and isn’t scared of everything that might go wrong anymore. He’s still a chronic overthinker but he’s working on that
- his love language is acts of service and gift giving.
- has a really short temper but most of the time it manifests in him being bitchy to someone unless he’s really livid
- was secretly really happy when stripe #4 died because for some reason that he never figured out that little bastard hated him
- after a life time of being involved with methamphetamines, he’s absolutely fantastic at chemistry and just seems to know a lot about chemical reactions and ph scales and all that shit instinctively. He’s not overly interested in it tho, it just seems like common knowledge to him
(That’s all I’ve got for now but let me know if you want more cus I love these queers)
