wlw and soft pastels

Sideblog because I'm a mentally ill lesbian in need of a safe placeNSFW at times so minors please go away

[softandcutewhynot]

THERE'S SOMETHING IMPORTANT I NEED TO KNOW

love in its "truest" form (to you) is:

by choice. love is on purpose, it's a commitment, it's being there always.

by chance. there's no reason, you just love. even when you don't want to.

Voting ended onJun 9, 2023

i know that realistically it's a mix of the two and that this is just unmovable object vs unstoppable force.. but. what is more.. "love" to you? what you do that you can control? or what you feel that you can't?

[softandcutewhynot]

how do you tell someone that you want them to consume you? how do you tell someone they make your headaches stop? how do you tell someone that life has no meaning but you might have found the closest thing in them? how do you give someone you love this ugly responsibility?

[softandcutewhynot]

Which spooky monster are you?

https://uquiz.com/aFhgUV

I made this to vent and because I love pretencious quizzez that try to psycoanalyze you so here we are! It’s 27 questions plus a bonus box with 4 results: werewolf, vampire, ghost or zombie

Please I put a lot of effort into this ;v;

[softandcutewhynot]

things i wrote at 15(ish) that are just textbook compulsory heterosexuality

When I say I like someone, do i really mean it? Everytime I’m exausted or depressed I tend to find myself a reason to keep going. Today’s reason is a poor fucker who’s only fault is being kinda cute and treating me kindly. In my head I have this distort picture of being a couple. If i’ll have a boyfriend everything will finally go right in my life! I could vent, he could comfort me, we could have fun and do all those things couples do. I don’t even know if i would like being in a relationship.. it looks like a full time job. We’ll have to go on dates, text for every stupid thing, and i don’t have time to fit a boyfriend in my schedule (especially a long distance one)

I think i was barely out of middle school when i wrote this.. you go girl get it I guess

So really, it was never about him as much as what he represents -the male gender maybe, maybe society, maybe just an imaginary hierarchy I made up-, and even then it was not really about that as much as my incredible need for approval to be someone I always had all the rights but never the courage to be.

Conclusion about me not giving two fucks abou the guy I liked for one year getting together with another girl. In highschool

Or maybe I never liked him in the first place. Quite the plot twist if you ask me, finding out that it was yet another boy I relied in hope to be fixed, making the amount of real people I genuinely liked up to zero if we don't count all my confused feelings for girls I am way too much comfortable with, you can hug her without fear of judgment while your two pair of boobs press together and she slaps your butt and you, touch starved piece of shit, are wondering how much time you can squeeze out of this soft creature before it's annoying/creepy/inappropriate.

The closet is literally made of glass. Also highschool.

I prayed that time. I prayed every night to be saved from my own sadness. I prayed that someone would save me by falling in love with me and showing me I was not worthless. Boy after boy I obsessed with them, their presence constantly on my delusional mind, because if there was a hope, even a small one that I could have one ally I was sure to be on my side and tell me that I am beautiful and the most wonderful thing ever happened to him then you could have been sure I would have gripped that hope with my claws and teeth. God never gave me a boyfriend.

Recalling my lonliness in middleschool where I picked and chose boys to obsess over.

I wonder if it's wrong that my dream is to slay men with a flip of my tangled, unkept hair when I pass near them. I wonder if this need of being the cause of a boner it's my desire to win the system at its own game or me being already part of the game and losing. I wonder what it feels like, to be so beautiful people want to fuck you. Do you feel powerful? Or do you feel like a piece of meat waiting to be beaten?

Just trying to understand why I so desperately needed to bee seen as something attractive to men, and asking myself if that would have made me happy since I grew up fat and ugly and thus i never had such experience

[yurimother]

Yuri Quarantine Reading List

In times like these, when we are all doing our best to stay home, social distance, and protect our loved ones from COVID-19, we need a little bit of entertainment to get us through some of the longer days isolated in a room. Absorbing yourself in another world through books, games, and media is a solace for many of us during the pandemic. With that in mind, I reached out to anyone and everyone I could think of, from friends and colleagues to publishers and creators to ask, “what lesbian manga or anime is on your quarantine list” and they ran with it!

Note: some entries have been edited for space and to avoid excessive repetition

Seven Seas Entertainment – Manga and Light Novel Publisher

Kase–San and… by Takashima Hiromi (Manga): https://amzn.to/2KVLMOC

ROADQUEEN: Eternal Roadtrip to Love by Mira Ong Chua (Manga): https://amzn.to/3feTW2y

TOKYOPOP – Manga and Comic Publisher

Futaribeya: A Room for Two by Yukiko (Manga): https://amzn.to/2z4q0pi

Still Sick by Akashi (Manga): https://amzn.to/3c0n0ZD

Yuri Bear Storm by Ikuhara Kunihiko and Morishima Akiko (Manga): https://amzn.to/2YpglEm

J-Novel Club – Light Novel Publisher

Otherside Picnic by Miyazawa Iori, art by shirakaba (Light Novel): https://amzn.to/2L86XgF

Continua a leggere

[bpd-bbyg]

[softandcutewhynot]

i don't feel comfortable with the label bisexual because i don't want people to think i like men.

i hate the thought of men thinking they have a shot with me.

but i also don't want to call myself a lesbian because in the unfortunate case i fall for a man i don't want him to take pride in "turning me".

i don't want to give people the satisfaction of knowing "it was just a phase".

i don't want to live with the guilt of perpetuating the stereotype that i "just had to wait for the right man"

but isn't this exactly what i'm doing? thinking that one day i'd happen to meet the right man that will steal my heart despite being a man?

i genuinely think there will never be a right man....

[the-ark-is-real]

me as soon as heartstopper is released:

[softandcutewhynot]

i don’t wanna heal. there’s comfort in this sorrow.

the more i think about it the more it’ll be better for me to cut bridges,

but i’m selfish.

keep me in your pocket,

crumble me up in your hand whenever you’re stressed,

mindlessly,

pick and pull at me until there’s nothing left.

i’ll be fine. in your hands i’ll be fine.

i shove two fingers down my throat,

i vomit

so i can be pristine when you see me,

the cleanest version of myself that’ll hook you up to go deeper.

please go deeper.

open me up like a book, a diary,

an article you found at 2am that you just can’t get enough of.

carve me open,

slash me up,

cut me down.

see the most rotting parts of me

and love me anyway.

even when i’ll fall apart,

blood leaking from the crevices

dying your shirt red.

when everything is spilling out.

will you love me then?

[deanholder]

feeling unimportant is the worst thing ever. i just always feel like im annoying everyone and they hate me. i just feel like no one wants me for me. im so gullible with people. if you say you are gonna be there, i really feel like you are gonna be there. but people always leave. always. so why am i suprsied. im just mentally unstable. i think in order for me to feel loved i have to love myself first. because at least i know myself will never leave me.

[softandcutewhynot]

the feminine urge to sob into your arms for the pain you've caused while you tell me you love me

[crushsuggestions]

I want routine with you, I want waking up in a morning to the sun shining or the rain pouring with you, I want home with you, I want late night tv and too much to drink with you, I want slow dancing in our living room, in our house, in our home with you. I want you.

[softandcutewhynot]

it’s a different kind of lonliness to be a queer woman

feel free to skim this as just me venting but sometimes i mourn the kind of relationship i’ll never have, not only with my “boyfriend” but with my friends too.. they’re all there talking about how they’ve started talking to a guy or actually started daiting or just hooked up while i just sit there with nothing to tell them because the queer dating experience is way more complicated than talking-dating-fucking

i never had a boy telling me he likes me with a note in class, never had one flirting with me at a party, never had one paying for my drink at a bar.. i so desperatly wish i was straight so that i had my way already paved by friends, family, hundred, thousands of media and centuries of culture that already told me what to do, when to do it

you’re straight? just look pretty and have someone notices you. it’s not your job as a woman to do the first move you can just sit there and relax. there’s something so incredibly calming in the certainty that if something has to come it will come on his terms. and most important of all you both know that there’s nothing wrong with what you’re doing, you never doubted yourself about what you want, you don’t have to unpack years of confusion, doubt and trauma before you get to be happy. and sometimes even after getting over of years to hating yourself you still don’t get that happy ending. for a million different reasons that could all roughly be summed up with the knowledge that the world that you live in it’s not built for you

[softandcutewhynot]

i hate the "you can't love someone else until you love yourself first"

because loving you was so much easier than loving myself and when i loved you i forgot about how much i hated myself

[reallyreallyreallyloveyou]

laying on your significant other is a love language

[yuri-caps]

Hi yes i'm in deep pain, i lost all of my bookmarks. Can you give as many yuri mangas you can off the top of your head please ? It would help me tremendously

oh wow sorry to hear! sure, i’ll give u my “masterlist” from the other day:

hana ni arashi

tamen de gushi

kase-san

bloom into you

hana to hoshi

after hours

cirque arachne

her shim-cheong

blooming sequence

bright & cheery amnesia

ohana holoholo

miss angel and miss devil

always human

killing me!

fluttering feelings

lily love

pulse

dallaeya

beauty and the beast girl

aqua blue cinema

girl friends (milk morinaga)

strawberry shake

so, do you want to go out, or? (reboot)

futaribeya

out of the blue!

a tropical fish yearns for snow

ikenai hito

sweet guilty love bites

the conditions for paradise

hero-san and former general-san

it would be great if you didn’t exist

partition

honey & mustard

mage & demon queen

moonlight garden

sunshine & bright stars

the love doctor

lily marble

tonari no robot

seifuku no vampiress lord

candy (yuhuko suzuki)

adachi to shimamura

aoi hana

and a few bonus ones:

swallow tail

tadokoro-san

luminous=blue

lilium terrarium

otome no teikoku

now loading

lovespells

ouji-sama nante iranai

scarlet

still sick

hayama-sensei to terano-sesei ha tsukiatteiru

lonely wolf lonely sheep

just you and i (three oneshots)

whew! hope that helps :0

[ijaazat]

new love langauges dropped (i saw it all in a dream)

• boobs

• eating together

• theft

• pure devotion which makes you turn a blind eye to the rest of the world

• salvation through your lover's touch

• going through grief together

• blood

[softandcutewhynot]

this actually make sense cuz everytime we date me and my gf go eat together