tranquilita @softiebabe33 - Tumblr Blog

I keep wishing for a version of you that doesn’t exist.

you’re all over nyc, going to all these shows. I would’ve gone with you too… museums, bike rides, all of that.

I wish we’d gotten to know the city together.

We’ll always have BK.

quoteastic

A real man will respect you even when he's mad at you. Remember that.

sugared-violetts

does anyone know how to go to sleep

tragicburnout

i'm so big on "just say that" cause all you gotta do is just say that

traumasurvivors

Examples of invalidation through emotional abuse

When people order you to feel differently

“You need to get over it.”

Telling you how you should feel

“You really shouldn’t let this bother you” “You should feel thankful that…”

When people minimize your feelings

“It’s not that bad.” “You’re being over dramatic”.

Attempting to use “logic” to invalidate you

“Let’s stick with the facts” “There’s no reason to be upset…”

Passing judgement and putting labels on you

“You’re too sensitive.”

Making it your problem/isolating you

“No one else feels this way” “It’s not bothering anyone but you”

Trying to make you feel guilty

“I was only trying to help you…” “You’re bringing everyone else down with your feelings”

None of these things are okay. And while the person saying/doing these things may not intend to be emotionally abusive, that doesn’t change the effects these words have.

Your feelings are valid. Even if they don’t “make sense”. You deserve the space to feel them. While you should be mindful of how you handle them, you aren’t wrong for having them.

And also… please try not to be one of the people saying these things to you. You don’t deserve to hear them from yourself either.

traumasurvivors

I also wrote on article on the importance of validating your feelings. I give some more examples of invalidation in it.

It’s here.