Dumpster Fire

Occasional Writer - Fucking Train Wreck t-i-n-y-d-i-n-o on Ao3

[softmamawrites]

Stop (You’re Losing Me) Chapter 13

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What has he done?

He’s cheated on Johnny, his boyfriend, the man that has been courting him for just over a month now. A soft sob bubbles up Maverick’s throat before he can stop it while Duncan holds him closer. Both of his arms lock around his shoulders, something to pull their upper bodies in tight together. The tight squeeze makes him shudder slightly, while the explosions that have been happening in his head slowly begin to calm down. All of the pieces that got shattered out slowly begin to bring themselves back together the longer they stand chest to chest. Duncan’s chin rests down on the crown of his wet hair, while both of his hands hold around his shoulders tightly.

The burning in his chest from lack of oxygen eases off and breathing becomes easier, while he sniffles to try and clear his nose. His hands slip off of his ears to fully hear Duncan’s purrs, while his stomach clenches again in fear. Duncan’s hold loosens in little increments, until it’s just a gentle drape of his arms over Maverick’s lean shoulders.

~~~

ao3 link

thank you to @steviewicks45 & @stars-remain2 for betaing this one

[softmamawrites]

Stop (You’re Losing Me) Chapter 12

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The weight of Johnny leaning down against his back feels crushing, before he feels the press of lips against his ear. A soft rumble comes up Johnny’s chest as he nuzzles and kisses, until Benny turns his head for a kiss. The taste of blood lingers on his tongue when Johnny pulls away to look at him with sapphire blue eyes, bright enough to shine in their room light.

“I love you Benny, don’t ever question that. I just need you to give me some fuckin’ grace on this. Please,” his voice is soft, like he’s hurting as he buries his nose into the back of Benny’s throat, over the mate mark that is hiding under his shirt collar.

Benny blows out a deep breath as he closes his eyes and tears well up, before he nods softly.

~~~

ao3 link

thank you to @steviewicks45 & @stars-remain2 for betaing for me :)

[softmamawrites]

Stop (You’re Losing Me) Chapter 11

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It reminds him of growing up with his Father, it’s partially why he’s here in the first place. He was doing shit he shouldn’t have been just to get some kind of reaction from his Alpha Father, something to let Johnny know that he even existed on his radar. It had backfired tremendously, but he had met Benny so really it wasn’t a loss on Johnny’s part.

He can’t explain the way he feels about Maverick, he can’t explain the way it feels like there is something connecting them and like he needs to be in his vicinity. It feels the same way it does with Benny, he just can’t figure out how to articulate that for Benny to understand. Every time he has tried, it has landed him in hostile territory.

His teeth grit together again as he adjusts his shirt collar before he looks over to see Benny pulling his pants up, the smooth striped material hugs his thighs nicely. While the waist band is cinched together with the drawstrings, he usually doesn’t wear pajama pants when he sleeps. But he supposes Benny isn’t going to sleep yet, he knows he has letters he plans on writing to Rosalba, Chiara, Francesca, and Adam.

~~~

ao3 link

thank you to @steviewicks45 & @stars-remain2 for betaing this chapter :)

[softmamawrites]

No One Knows About The Words We Whispered

(A SYLM universe one-shot)

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He wants to chuckle at the disgruntled sleepy bunny look on Gale’s face, like John had committed the biggest sin by leaving the bed. A chilled hand shoves at his bicep before Gale climbs into the stall, truly it is not big enough for both of them, but neither of them care right now. Two long arms wind around his waist to pull his body into Gale’s front, his face tucks into John’s throat to nuzzle close.

John will never admit to it, but a half asleep or freshly woken up Gale was one of his favorite versions, only because his guard wasn’t up and he was cuddly. It had taken John a long time to realize that Gale doesn’t seek comfort through touch the way he does, Gale looks for comfort by someone else just being there with him. Even if Gale will suffer in silence, he seems to like to do it with John right by his side, which is something John will do until the end of time.

“Did I wake ya?”

~~~

ao3 link

special thanks to @steviewicks45 & @stars-remain2 for betaing this one and going ham in the comments on the doc. I appreciate you both and love you both

[softmamawrites]

Stop (You’re Losing Me) Chapter 10

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“You gonna miss my ugly mug?” John asks as he nudges his foot against his again, Gale flips the toothpick that is now lodged into his mouth onto the opposite side. He wants to be chewing on a stick of gum, or smoking a sneaky cigarette from John’s pack, but he promised himself he’d stop doing it. He flicks his tongue against the sharp tip of it for a moment before he blows out a deep breath and levels John with a look.

He hopes the man can read his eyes, he wishes that John could read his mind, so that he’d understand that it feels like he’s cutting off a limb. It feels like he’s watching half of himself get ripped clean off and he doesn’t know how to handle that right now. It feels like he’s having to sit on the sidelines while the love of his life is boarding a plane to go away from him. Because that is exactly what is happening, he’s going to have to watch his best friend and lover walk onto that tarmac tomorrow and not see him for two full weeks. While John goes across an ocean, closer to goddamn Hitler and Nazis and stalags.

“Don’t count on it,” is all he can get to come out of his mouth and he watches the little quirk come up on John’s mouth to make his cheek bunch up slightly.

~~~

ao3 link

thank you as always to @steviewicks45 & @stars-remain2 for betaing this chapter

p.s. this week is a double feature with a Clegan one-shot also getting posted following this same timeline

[softmamawrites]

Stop (You’re Losing Me) Chapter Nine

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“You go back to bed John, don’t know how long I’ll be here and I can see you’re tired.”

“I ain’t just gonna leave ya Gale, c’mon at least let me walk ya in,” his hand gently cups under Gale’s elbow to lead him inside.

He stays standing next to Gale as he talks to the nurse behind the counter whose face is less than impressed but she just sighs and has him fill out some paperwork before she’s leading him back, and when Gale looks back one last time. John decides then, he’s going to sit here for as long as it takes for Gale to come back out of the doors. He isn’t going to come out to an empty waiting room, he’s had a life of disappointments, John can weather an uncomfortable chair and numb ass for a few hours if it means Gale isn’t alone in this clinic building.

John can suffer a bit if it means Gale will be okay.

~~~

ao3 link

thank you to @steviewicks45 & @stars-remain2 for betaing this chapter

[softmamawrites]

Stop (You’re Losing Me) Chapter Eight

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Benny’s chest shakes with rumbles as he lays there, kissing at his neck while Gale brings a hand up to grab onto the back of his hair. He can feel a string of heat making its way down his spine, it makes him shiver a little while goosebumps form on his exposed skin. His brain feels hazy like the only thing that matters right now is Gale, the sweet slick smell emitting from him, and keeping him as full as he can for as long as he can. A muffled moan falls from his throat as his hips grind forward again and a sharp exhale comes from Gale’s kiss swollen lips.

He knows he should be a little concerned with the way cotton feels like it’s filling his brain, he just can’t find himself caring right now. Not when his nose is filled with the sweet scent of Gale Cleven and when his body is touching as much of him as he can. His knot throbs again and pulses inside of him, making Gale moan quietly. He doesn’t know how long this will last, when he twitches his hand like he’s going to sink it down between them again, Gale grabs it and presses it down into the sheets. While his hand curls into his hair to scratch through gently and both of them release shuddering moans at the way their bodies rock closer together.

~~~

ao3 link

thank you to @steviewicks45 & @stars-remain2 for betaing this chapter

[softmamawrites]

Stop (You're Losing Me) Chapter 7

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“Ah that’s alright Ben, it was for a good reason. Fuck that guy, and Sal always waters down his whiskey anyways.”

Now though, two weeks after that, Benny knows that Bucky was lying, Sal’s was one of his favorite bars because he was heavy handed for military men. Something about his own sons having gone off to war made him feel some type of way for boys in uniform or boys that talked about being in a uniform. Benny feels bad, he didn’t mean to start a fight, but he also doesn’t regret it, he protected Gale and that’s all that matters. The kisses afterwards were also very nice, Johnny had called them an added bonus.

~~~

ao3 link

thank you to @steviewicks45 & @stars-remain2 for betaing for me, truly the shit you two put up with. endless thanks

[softmamawrites]

Stop (You're Losing Me) Chapter 6

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Neither of them say anything for a few minutes, they know if anyone else comes they’ll have to quickly separate and Benny will have to stay turned towards the wall more. It’s why he put himself in the corner shower spot, he could face the wall with no risk of anyone seeing him before he could edge himself out of the bathroom. He had gotten the routine of other men down though, at least for this shower block, even with the new additions to their hallway. Additions like Everett Blakely and Roy Claytor, both pilots and rooming together.

~~~

ao3 link

thank you to @steviewicks45 & @stars-remain2 for betaing this chapter for me :)

[softmamawrites]

Stop (You're Losing Me) Chapter 5

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I’m only writing this letter because we both know Mama won’t, she’s too prideful for that right now. The last two deposits from Adam have been less and less, I’m not sure what’s happening. Maybe he needs more money lately for whatever it is that you boys need, but I’ve been struggling to make ends come together. Rosa has had four ear infections as the weather has gotten colder, and between the clinic charges and the medicine, we’re dipping into the little surplus we did have. I almost couldn’t pay the lights last time. I don’t want to take more from you but I don’t know what else to do, Papito.

~~~

ao3 link

thank you to @steviewicks45 & @stars-remain2 for betaing this one and for loving me, I'm the lucky one to call you both my best friends 💕

[softmamawrites]

Stop (You're Losing Me) Chapter 4

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“What…the fuck is happening right now? Aiutami Johnny! Per favore aiutami!”

“It’s okay, I don’t know what happened, it’s alright. We’ll figure it out, I’ve never heard of an alpha presenting this late,” Johnny says as he shifts his weight, “Don’t cry, please…please Ben don’t cry.”

Benny can’t help the tears as they flood his vision while more flames begin to lick up his pelvis into his spine and the fuzz starts to creep up on the edges of his brain again. Johnny leans down to kiss him which sends a plume of spearmint tinged with charcoal up towards Benny’s nose and his teeth sink down into Johnny’s bottom lip. A grunt of pain followed by a growl from the other man fills the air which sends Benny’s brain into a frenzy.

~~~

ao3 link

thank you to @steviewicks45 for betaing and for making the moodboard for this chapter too. I love them and you 💕

[softmamawrites]

Stop (You're Losing Me) Chapter 3

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It makes something bubble up in Benny’s chest, before he’s suddenly launching himself across the table and hitting his superior officer square in the nose. The table shakes with Benny on top of it, and his chair flies backwards onto the ground as he grabs at the lapels of Bucky’s uniform jacket. Bucky’s chair topples back onto the hard floor with both of them in it.

Benny’s fist raises up for a second hit before he’s suddenly being hauled up and off by two hands grabbing under his arms to pull him back. A soft, barely there scent of caramel graces his nose while two arms lock around his chest tightly and the body behind him goes ramrod straight. Gale holds him back in an iron grip, one that feels practiced, like he’s done it a dozen times before.

“Easy Benny, easy…woah, calm down now. C’mon before I have to put you down again,” Gale drawls out as he keeps his grip on the front of his jacket.

~~~

ao3 link

thank you to @steviewicks45 for betaing and for making a beautiful moodboard. I love it so much

[softmamawrites]

Stop (You're Losing Me) Chapter 2

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His usual light blue eyes are darker around the edges, like this is a thrill for him, like his adrenaline is pumping a thousand miles a minute. Benny takes a chance and lunges, just to receive a quick jab to his collar bone that makes him stumble back. Gale grunts slightly when Benny hits him in the jaw, and suddenly before Benny can even blink he’s being hit so hard in the stomach that it sends him down onto the grass gasping for air. When he blinks his eyes open, it's Gale staring down at him.

“Hit me like you goddamn mean it next time DeMarco, don’t pull your goddamn punches. I’m not a dame, and I’m not some dainty omega you’ve gotta go easy on. Do you understand me?”

~~~

ao3 link

thank you @steviewicks45 for betaing, love you 💕

[softmamawrites]

Stop (You're Losing Me)

Benny DeMarco had a small list of goals Get through Officers training Get through flight school Get through the war Go Home Then he met John D. Brady and they say the rest was history

This train ride has brief stops of happiness but the tracks are mainly angst.

~~~

Benny watches as the alpha raises his eyebrow in question before vivid sapphire colored eyes are aimed right at him. They make his breath catch in his throat and his stomach coil up tight.

“Can I help you?”

“What’s a pretty man like you doing in a grimy place like this?”

Benny can feel the blush heating up his cheeks, he really said that? Jesus Christ, but he can also see the glimpse of a smirk curve up the side of his lips.

~~~

ao3 link

thank you to @steviewicks45 for listening to me ramble about this for what feels like forever, and for betaing for me and cheering me on the whole time I've been plucking away at it.

[softmamawrites]

I’m Only Me (When I’m With You)

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John can’t seem to bring himself together as he stands under the warm water as it drips over his face and down his big ears. It slips in rivulets down his nose and makes him close his eyes again. The scar tissue around his right eye pulls when he squeezes them closed tighter. He can hear Johnny’s quiet deep rumbling voice off to his left. He’s become accustomed to people standing on his left side now, where he can see them clearly.

He jumps so violently when a hand touches between his shoulder blades that his arm almost swings out on instinct until he smells spicy spearmint and his shoulders drop before he feels a strong but gentle hand pushing down on his bicep.

~~~

*a rewrite of my original mama john piece, abo style, with more angst. because I can do what I want*

as always, thank you to @steviewicks45 for being my beta. you honestly deserve a raise for the shit you put up with from me

[softmamawrites]

2025 Writing Round Up

tagged by @girlswiththecurls thank you 🥹💕

total fics ~ umm 27 which is absolutely insane to me, this year has been so hard and writing was my fall back

total (published) word count ~ 354,656…holy shit balls I didn’t realize it was that much

fandoms written for ~ MOTA, two for Austin Butler rpf, and one for BoB

most kudos’ed ~ Feral Gale x Thick Bucky

most hits ~ Take What You Need (she’s under massive construction right now. my first ever long haul fic, I’m very proud of her, she just needs some work.)

✨things I’m looking forward to the most in 2026✨

not being fucking pregnant, but writing wise I have started a fic that’s going to be my 2nd long haul one, the first two chapters are completed already.

✨my favorites from this year✨

honestly I’m really proud of my bottom Bucky fics that I posted, I got all seven days done and I’m amazed I did it.

I am also proud of what I accomplished with Take What You Need, I worked so hard on that project. And I can say I completed an entire project, which I’ve never done.

tagging anyone who sees this and wants to play 🙂

[softmamawrites]

just a little something I’m working on

thank you @roseszirnheld for listening to me ramble about it literally all day