standing in a stream
Sade Olutola
art blog(derogatory)

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AnasAbdin
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shark vs the universe
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Love Begins
taylor price
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i don't do bad sauce passes

roma★

blake kathryn

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@softorchid
standing in a stream
“It’s taboo to admit that you’re lonely. You can make jokes about it, of course. You can tell people that you spend most of your time with Netflix or that you haven’t left the house today and you might not even go outside tomorrow. Ha ha, funny. But rarely do you ever tell people about the true depths of your loneliness, about how you feel more and more alienated from your friends each passing day and you’re not sure how to fix it. It seems like everyone is just better at living than you are. A part of you knew this was going to happen. Growing up, you just had this feeling that you wouldn’t transition well to adult life, that you’d fall right through the cracks. And look at you now. La di da, it’s happening. Your mother, your father, your grandparents: they all look at you like you’re some prized jewel and they tell you over and over again just how lucky you are to be young and have your whole life ahead of you. “Getting old ain’t for sissies,” your father tells you wearily. You wish they’d stop saying these things to you because all it does is fill you with guilt and panic. All it does is remind you of how much you’re not taking advantage of your youth. You want to kiss all kinds of different people, you want to wake up in a stranger’s bed maybe once or twice just to see if it feels good to feel nothing, you want to have a group of friends that feels like a tribe, a bonafide family. You want to go from one place to the next constantly and have your weekends feel like one long epic day. You want to dance to stupid music in your stupid room and have a nice job that doesn’t get in the way of living your life too much. You want to be less scared, less anxious, and more willing. Because if you’re closed off now, you can only imagine what you’ll be like later. Every day you vow to change some aspect of your life and every day you fail. At this point, you’re starting to question your own power as a human being. As of right now, your fears have you beat. They’re the ones that are holding your twenties hostage. Stop thinking that everyone is having more sex than you, that everyone has more friends than you, that everyone out is having more fun than you. Not because it’s not true (it might be!) but because that kind of thinking leaves you frozen. You’ve already spent enough time feeling like you’re stuck, like you’re watching your life fall through you like a fast dissolve and you’re unable to hold on to anything. I don’t know if you ever get better. I don’t know if a person can just wake up one day and decide to be an active participant in their life. I’d like to think so. I’d like to think that people get better each and every day but that’s not really true. People get worse and it’s their stories that end up getting forgotten because we can’t stand an unhappy ending. The sick have to get better. Our normalcy depends upon it. You have to value yourself. You have to want great things for your life. This sort of shit doesn’t happen overnight but it can and will happen if you want it. Do you want it bad enough? Does the fear of being filled with regret in your thirties trump your fear of living today? We shall see.”
— You’re Not Making The Most Of Your 20s by Ryan O’Connell
Carmen Maria Machado, In the Dream House
where am i, where does my identity begin. can i playact a happy person in all my friendships or is that manipulative. can i take this personality test honestly or am i trying to pick things for a specific end. is this something i actually want or am i just bored and looking for anything. do i really feel like i care about my horoscope, or am i just looking for how others might see me. when i get dressed am i actually dressing for myself or am i dressing for the illusion i’m complete. am i actually seeking answers about who i am, or am i trying to shape the answers into who i want to be. am i real to myself or am i lying.
why am i nostalgic for my teenage years bitch i didnt even have fun !!!
https://www.instagram.com/p/CBO_kQVDAJF/?igshid=1gb58am8ignrq
little bits of melodrama that i enjoy every time
green light: the jumpy piano at the beginning, the way you can hear lorde gasping for breath a little between verses, the low rasp in her voice as she says “brand new sounds”
sober: the intake of breath before “oh god i’m clean out of air”, the snarling, thudding beat punctuated by high, angelic “hey!”s and “uh-huh!”s, the way she says this liquor-wet lime, night, lose my mind and distorts it and repeats it throughout the track
homemade dynamite: “behave abnormally!”, the stutter in “d-d-dynamite”, the delicate, crystalline way she says “broken glass sparkling / i guess we’re partying”, now you know it’s really gonna blow and then the whispered “boom”!
the louvre: the soft guitar at the beginning, the way she says “ovahboard”, can you hear the violence???!?!, the music cutting out when she says “broadcast the boom, boom, boom…”, the way you can hear the parenthesis in (still i fall), nothing WRONG with it superNATURAL!!! down the back - but who cares - still the louvre. :)
liability: the soft recorded conversation at the beginning, the way you can hear her shaky intake of breath after “the big mistake of dancing in my storm”, the way she repeats e-e-everyone, how she changes the last line in concert to you’re all gonna watch us disappear into the sun
hard feelings/loveless: “go back and tell ‘em”, the SNAPS, the whirring rushing sound before i remember the rush, the snaps!!!, the swirling beat behind hard feelings and the way she spits three years loved you every single day and then the softness and strings behind how we’d drift buying groceries. the little crackles of sound in your ear during the transition into loveless and the hollow liquid-sounding beat. the sweetness in guess what, i like that!
sober ii (melodrama): how she drags it out: melodraaaama. the strings the chorus of a million voices in evening passes / champagne glasses, the murmuring voices very quiet in the background of the song.
writer in the dark: the way her voice creaks and stretches around the piano, how you can hear the ‘k’ break on ‘dark’. every single syllable in pseudoephedrine. the way her voice layers and amplifies on i am my mother’s child / i’ll love you til my breathing stops.
supercut: the quick, fast repetition: in your car the radio up in your car the radio up. the way the piano sounds a little bit like the piano in green light. the quiet ooh-ooh-oohs in between lyrics. her voice echoing in my head (in my head) i do everything right (in my head). her scream after wild and fluorescent come home to my HEART and then the dizzy careening outro
liability (reprise): the jumbled fragments of liability knitted into something new. a little much for me - what you gonna do? the contrast between “you wanted something that we offered” / “all the things i offer you”. the way she lingers over but you’re not what you thought you were. the quiet, quick murmur at the end - you leave.
perfect places: every night! i live and die!! (tch tch)! the way she says i’m nineteen and i’m on fire. the contrast between the upbeat party sounds and the lyrics we’re young and we’re ashamed. the way she easily, methodically suggests let’s kiss and then take off our clothes. what the FUCK are perfect places anyway
Enjoy the little things in life
Elephant Teapot // LolaGoldstein
Bagni della Regina Giovanna, Sorrento
Gerroa, NSW - Shot on film
The palace is not safe when the cottage is not happy.
carpe noctem
Castle Ashby, Northamptonshire Inst @kasial91
Leaving a cup of water on the sidewalk. (via sincappop)
This is simply the best thing I have ever seen.
Rio dei Ognissanti with Santa Maria del Rosario, Venice, Franz Richard Unterberger(Austrian, 1837 - 1902)