y’all: george hates women
states multiple times that it is a personal point for him that elizabeth must be consulted about business decisions, even the ones that won’t directly impact her, and that her opinion is important to him
allows her genuine freedom in their marriage, is happy to hear that she has an active social life and friends in london, and, rather than being threatened by her sexuality and the effect she has on men, proudly boasts that she has “charmed the breeches” off his business associates for their own ends and of her own accord
involves her as an equal in his schemes and values her ideas and thoughts
genuinely recognises how harmful his jealousy has been, apologises to her and holds himself accountable instead of pulling a “i’m too good for you” psychological manipulation guilt-tripping trick a la ross, and actually changes his behaviour - and, after her death, realises she had died trying to recreate the conditions of the first birth and holds himself fully responsible for putting her in a position where she felt she had to do that
recognises her intelligence, business sense, political adeptness, and humour - something none of the other male characters have ever done
is consistently shown to admire her - but not to put her on a harmful pedestal
is physically affectionate in public, but not overbearing or smothering - and in private, he mostly waits for her to make the first move so she doesn’t feel uncomfortable
ardently hopes for a daughter, despite the fact girls held little worth, and is joyful when ursula is born
never once puts a female servant in an uncomfortable or threatening situation, and is consistently shown to treat bessie with genuine respect, friendliness, and kindness
is utterly faithful to elizabeth - the only husband in the show to be so
when he’s courting elizabeth during her marriage to francis, he doesn’t pressure, threaten, or try to force himself on her - he simply puts it on in the open that he has feelings for her and leaves it to her to follow him up on it if she so chooses
during her second pregnancy, far from being the average husband who took a hands-off role and chalked it up to women’s business, he tells elizabeth he’ll be at her beck and call for anything she needs or desires
is shown to be regretful and physically upset by the fact he has to sentence a girl to prison for a crime he knows full well she didn’t commit and allow a man he knows is guilty to go free. george gets himself into these situations with bad people where he’s in well over his head and can’t back out, we know this, he can’t say no - but though it by no means excuses it, he clearly felt guilty about it and knew what he was doing was wrong. same thing with the bet he placed on whether or not monk could sleep with demelza - it was a classic “you’re popular and i wanna be popular so i’m gonna put myself into positions i’m not comfortable being in and laughed along with stuff i’m actually disgusted by so you’ll like me and think i’m cool”
his relationship with elizabeth slowly evolves from her being so reluctant and so unhappy that she numbs herself with drugs just to cope with being married to someone she doesn’t want and doesn’t love and only accepted because she was sacrificing herself for the good of her son - to a healthy, genuine love where she is respected, where she feels genuinely attracted to george and freely initiates sex (something we’ve never seen her do because her past experiences with sex have been so unpleasant and usually forced on her) (because she’s a mirror of everything men want her to be and what they project onto her, not ever herself - until george), where she smiles more than we’ve ever seen her, where her talents and mind are being appreciated, where she can finally blossom and feel valued, where she is happy. she’s a female character who is happiest when she’s in a romantic relationship, who craves intimacy and companionship, who wants to be domestic - and that’s valid. but not only does george give her all of that, but with him, she’s also made to feel important and considered - she’s in a powerful position where she can finally let her own mind shine and speak up; she has her freedom; she’s given a voice. not only does she get what she’s always wanted - she gets more, gets things she never even allowed herself to wish for. it’s a beautiful depiction of slowly falling in love and it’s the most healthy, equal, and functional romantic relationship in the entire show - and this is coming from someone (me) who suffered through an abusive relationship that was founded on unfounded and destructive jealousy and possessiveness.
took sexual advantage of the power imbalance between a 13-year-old girl who was his servant and himself as her master, and married her. demelza was 13 when he took her on as his scullery maid, and barely any older when he slept with her. i cannot empathise that enough. he calls her ‘child’
raped elizabeth, and directly caused her death because of it
gaslit demelza for being understandably hurt and angered by him cheating on her, and framed it as being her fault for over-reacting
doesn’t consult demelza on anything, even things that directly effect her life and the lives of her children, and frequently underestimates her capabilities and intelligence, to her detriment
“your place is where i say it is”
“you’re not required to understand it [their relationship], you’re required to accept it as a fact of life”
brings up hugh when demelza is grieving for julia after sarah’s death
uses tess for his own personal gain, never apologises to demelza for cheating on her a second third time, and cruelly blames tess for falling for him when the ruse is over and he no longer needs her
unhealthily idolises elizabeth solely for her looks and the image he’s painted of her in his mind, and never sees or appreciates her actual personality and mind
instead of recognising that demelza is silently begging to be rescued from this social situation because she feels frightened and threatened, he blames demelza for leading monk on and putting herself in a situation where she could almost be sexually assaulted. he literally says it was her fault that monk got the wrong idea
he literally gaslights her again and tells her it was her fault for how she was treated in london because she’s an uncultured country girl, i cannot make that any clearer
is literally never there for his wife and children when they need him
helps a man who murdered his wife out of jealousy flee the country so he won’t go to prison
blames keren for being murdered
like francis made elizabeth miserable by placing her on an unobtainable pedestal and thinking her so out of his league, only reachable by ross, despite the fact she was his wife and she was ready to care for him (side note: in the first season, before and just after her marriage to francis, elizabeth has hobbies - the harp, reading, needlework, walks; she quickly loses them after her marriage), ross made her miserable by simultaneously worshipping her for superficial reasons as this idol he’s created in his head rather than the person she actually is, and condemning her for qualities he’d projected onto her (“she saw his house, his name, his mine”). george alone sees her true personality and character and values her for it
makes demelza miserable with his constant jealousy and mistrust
causes a huge fuss whenever they go to a party or social gathering that demelza wants to go to, asks to leave even if she’s having fun and clearly wants to stay with her friends, and takes it for granted that they won’t go in the first place even if she clearly wants to. make no mistake: that’s not cute, relatable introversion - that’s abuse
george: you’re a goddess and if you never anything whatsoever during your pregnancy i will do anything to get it for you, you deserve the world, please let me get you some cake in bed. ross, after bringing up a plate of breakfast to demelza once while she’s heavily pregnant: is there anything else your ladyship needs
also ross’ entire classism where he can get away with things commoners would hang for and act out and show no remorse because he has an ancient family name and an unshakeable position in society, and the fact that his interest in the peasants is just a hobby and he treats them like pets, and he bullied the grandson of a vulgar who was daring to try and rise above his station and make something of himself, while simultaneously raising a common girl into the position of a lady and giving demelza everything he condemns george for
there are just so many times my jaw dropped at the screen because of ross’ blatant misogyny, i genuinely cannot remember them all. but they’re disgusting
