Anno domini 2025, and tumblr sends me an email revealing a post this blog was tagged in during 2018 as "new activity." Classic tumblr move.
Since I already logged into here to confirm the notification in my activity feed with my own eyes, I decided to take the word "archive" in my blog title seriously and stroll down its halls. Unfortunately, I see now that this blog is a poor excuse for an archive - I'd say 80% of the accounts I had interacted with in some capacity from 2016-2018 have been deleted or renamed to the point that very few of the juiciest and most informative posts of the time are actually archived or easily accessible here.
My own tagging system at the time also appears to have been poor. I don't appear to have used a unique tag to label my original posts, although now I vaguely recall that may have been an intentional defensive measure.
Regardless, I should not have been shocked about the state of this archive considering the many remakes, deactivations, and meltdowns that I observed about seven years ago during my time of peak posting on this blog. But I still held hope in my heart of hearts that this unique, unreplicable community and point in time during my life would still be preserved on this blog, mostly intact, just as horrible and wonderful as I remembered it being.
Since I still have 331 followers, nearly six years(!!) since I've posted anything new on this blog, I'd like to think some of you are not only still active enough to be able to see this post, but also remember me and the terrible, funny, witty times we shared. In honor of that time - and to exemplify that some things never change - I'd like to stay true to form and offer you a verbose, pretentious, and egotistical reflective essay. Just like the good old days, yeah?
Based on the contents of this blog, I am not sentimental, saccharine, or at certain times, even mildly warm as a person. Usually I adopted a dry and knowledgeable public stance, but I was nervous and quirky enough to be considered friendlier than some of the other alternative voices in your morning typology newspaper.
More likely than not, most of you don't even remember me. I call out now from the ether, a phantom from a past life of pointless arguments and identity crises.
But if any of you recall me as a cold fish and are still reading at this point, perhaps you are surprised I bothered writing this at all. It humors me to think some of you could even be foaming at the mouth at the unexpected chance to retype me as an Si user for coming back and reminiscing. To which I say - hypothetically assuming any of you are, in fact, considering that - did you ever even read my blog?
Some people might not recall my distant behavior, having seen me for what for what I was from the beginning: an adapter to the inhospitable posting conditions of the time. Which, lol. You can see that with certain friends and acquaintances, I was actually quite excitable!
I never publicly revealed my exact age when I was posting. Most people knew and safely assumed I was some variation of a young person. I'd like to make the announcement now: I was 16-18 years old during my active period on this blog. I was giving advice in asks and typing up theses on sx-blindness on my breaks from online high school classes. I was isolated and depressed, and this blog was an outlet I could channel all my self-doubts and neuroses.
Strangers regularly confessed deeply personal fears to me, complimented my logic, and trusted my wisdom. What a way to make a lonely teenage 5 feel capable and powerful and loved. It did, quite honestly, give me a chance to exercise my Fe when I had no one to really talk to or empathize with about anything deeply interesting. This unhealthy obsession with petty drama and pseudoscientific theory both prevented some ugly looping and terrible self-esteem, but also caused me terrible, formative social anxiety.
This blog does display a period of my life I had, on some level, no interest in revisiting. Clearly at this point, I don't even have much of the ability to revisit it due to all the broken links and lost posts. But then that begs the question: if I didn't want to revisit this, why wasn't I a member of the 80% of Typology Posters Of The Time who deactivated and moved on? Why have I logged back on to talk your ears off again, just for old times' sake?
I don't know. I guess from this essay, I apparently felt like I never confessed a horrible secret. Which is: I never should have been here, I never should have been involved in this, I was young and no one should have respected me as much as I felt they did. Imposter syndrome is a hell of a drug for it to still weigh on me now.
I couldn't part with this blog for more constructive reasons as well. I would not have been the same person without the Dear Abby experience, the Forum Argument experience, the Mental Illness experience. I learned that just because I was young and mentally ill and weird, it didn't mean I wasn't worthy of respect, and that gave me a lot of confidence. People didn't need me to be older than I was to see value in my words.
I wished I was warmer, and weirder, and stood up for myself and others more than I did at the time. I held back so much, because I felt I couldn't risk the wins that I had managed to earn in The Public Eye, whatever that meant. I did feel a heavy burden, being one of the few well-articulated voices speaking for sx-blinds at the time, and I was also clearly very delusional, thinking being a well-articulated voice for sx-blinds on tumblr was anything to get a big head about. I was a teen, though. Reputation and recognition are life-and-death during those years.
To get to the part everyone's wondering, I did change my typing after I left this blog. I'm actually a 5w6 and not a 5w4, and a member of the 593 and not the 594 tritype. Although that's all pretty obvious if you were paying attention to some of the things I posted. The things I were always clear about were being an INFJ 5 and an sp/so, and that still tracks. After I quit this blog, one of my friends from here invited me to a typology-based Discord server that blew up with its own factional drama after about four years, which is an aeon by typology community standards. History repeats itself, c'est le vie, why did I let this typology cult into my life?
If you're looking for a real life update, I have a degree in Communications and am studying IT now. I still live with my parents, but I had a stint living in Korea and I miss it. I don't think I'm ever going to attain fluency in the language, despite mentioning attempts to learn it even on this blog (did you know that liking people and wanting to speak with them in their language is a prerequisite to attaining more than elementary-to-intermediate proficiency? 🙄). I'm trying to hack and customize Nintendo DS systems. I'm saving up for a car, a bass guitar, and a new mattress.
I'd like to thank every single person who engaged with my posts. I'd like to thank all the haters, all the crazies, and all my best allies. I am glad so many of you moved on from tumblr, and it is good we do not speak. Beth if you're out there, congrats on your marriage and I am sorry I did not see you post about it then. I am delighted someone got something good out of this!
I also mourn the many people I saw here who disappeared or succumbed to their illnesses - you all deserved more than the guarded, sarcastic, anxious, and immature ear of strangers like me.
This blog turned 9 years old on November 1st, 2024. This year, it will be a decade. I look back on many of my posts on this blog, and reflect on my time in that typology Discord server, with disappointment and embarrassment. I see my naivety, my desperation, and my sadness. I don't think my particular psychological profile should have been involved in these things, and I'm sorry to anyone I hurt, including myself. But I'm also very proud of some of the things I wrote - I'm not sure I could do much better now. I could be witty, and funny, and coherent. I did have a good head on my shoulders about some things. Hopefully the good parts of that kid are still there to guide me.
hey, I've searched through your blog, but couldn't rly find an answer to my question; how can I tell if I’m sx-blind or just have a 9 core? I hope you can help me out with this. would rly appreciate it :)
I’m no longer active in the typology community, so I appreciate your friendly ask but I honestly just forgot to turn off asks on this blog and am only taking dms. Thank you for reminding me to fix that though lol.
If you type “9” into the searchbar the third post down or so is me answering a question similar to yours. I’m on mobile so I won’t be linking it. If you have more questions my dms are open.
Well I’m pretty bored of typology now if you’ve noticed from my lack of original posts and general activity on this blog, so I’ll be transfering all the content here to a sideblog as an archive eventually. Stay tuned for the update when that happens. Idk what the new dasaene url is going to contain yet.
Some of you have been following me for a long time now so thank you for all your reblogs and comments, your input was partially why I stayed so long bc some of you had really interesting things to say. I don’t feel like I’m learning much anymore and the whole appeal of typology for me was about how much I could learn, so I’ll be bowing out now finally lol
Is it an spso thing to accidentally lead people on for quite a while (6 months- to a year?) before deciding you don't actually want this person in your life? I feel bad, especially if they've expressed really taking a liking to me, but not enough to keep communication. I'm a literal hermit so this doesn't happen super often. I'm trying to figure out my instinctual variants
ngl reading this ask at first i thought “nah this sounds fake, nobody is rude and oblivious like that” and then i asked sp/so friend and she is like “yeah, happens regularly”
sooo yep, sp/so.
and you guys should really learn how to say “no” to others because silence will be interpreted as a “yes”.
I never made a proper post about this, but I’m seeing an ever-increasing number of people that from my observations mistype themselves as so-blind (usually as sp/sx, since secondary so is harder to type) or as so/sx but are actually sx-blinds that don’t understand the soc instinct or are in complete denial that they don’t understand sx either. This seems to be a popular topic as of late and I think it would now be an appropriate time to post this. As an sx-blind myself I hope to offer a different perspective on sx-blind motivations and faults. There are many questions about soc/sx-blindness that I wanted to answer in this post (like what passion means to sx-blinds, what do you think is soc’s best quality, how can I tell if I’m sx-blind or just have a 9 core/strong fix), but for some sort of consistency in this tertiary Ti infodump I will elaborate on those in a different post.
The saying is, the one who does not desire power is the only one who can handle it. 9s being gutcore do desire control to a degree, but doesn’t seek it out like 8s or even 1s, and rarely abuse it beyond to stop conflict between others. They’re steady rulers, which the people may complain about being too passive or stagnant, but they still appreciate the steadiness and calmness of the 9 core. A modern example is Angela Merkel, the president of Germany (currently). Germans complain that she’s too passive, but they keep voting for her because she’s steady and does not start controversy. The people rarely suffer under a 9.
