frozen nitroglycerin

she/her, 20-something, aotearoa. mostly fandom but increasingly also treating the tags like my own personal substack currently sick about the gay hockey show but also bnha, jjk, hq, dn. multishipper til the day i DIE ao3: soggy_bitch.

[darlingofdots]

they don't really use pet names when they're around other people but their teammates learn very quickly that there is ilya (positive) and ilya (negative) and rozanov (fuck yeah that was fucking gorgeous) and rozanov (if you do not shut the fuck up immediately i swear to fucking god) and shane (adoring) and shane (sad) and hollander (that's how you fucking do it!) and hollander (sit your fucking ass down or we will have a problem) and these distinctions are way more important to keep track of than the five times a month hollander calls cap "baby" and cap's face goes all sappy

[kosmogrl]

learning not to return to places where I miss the past but see no future

[ohcashewart]

childhood friends

[bkaklife]

Rockstar Oikawa??

[bkaklife]

Iwachan is shy

[naturalpr3y]

Shoulders- Ilya

cw flashing images

[fuuuckwhoknows]

I love the idea of Shane’s chirps just being observations.

It started when he was a kid and he was trying to help everyone get better at hockey including the opposing teams players, he would say something like “your stick grip is weak” or “you’re slow on your right” (idk i don’t know hockey very well ESPECIALLY little kid hockey) but he says it totally deadpan because little Shanebug doesn’t understand tone yet.

This makes the other teams so mad! They try and fight him constantly! Little bitty baby hockey fights and then Yuna sits him down in middle school after the first fight that he actually gets hurt (black eye and bloody lip) and asks him what he is saying to make everyone fight him?

“Nothing mean I swear mom!!! I’m trying to be nice and help correct their form”

And suddenly Yuna gets it and explains to Shane that not everyone but especially not the opposing team likes to have their flaws pointed out to them even if it’s coming from a good place and how that could be seen as chirping.

So he stops for a while, then his coach for world juniors tells him to try and piss off Rozanov enough that they can draw a penalty. So Shane does what he does best and points out a flaw at each face off. Jokes on him though because Ilya is actively changing those things and getting better every face off because he is taking it for what it is, advice.

Which pisses Shane off, he thinks his chirping tactic won’t work now that he is older. So he points out at his first scrimmage at practice in Montreal that the center who has been there for years (who he is probably replacing) is favoring his left side is staying too far left to compensate (again I don’t know hockey so I am trying to translate things I know about soccer lol)

And the center loses it on him! Immediately yelling about the lack of respect and how a rookie makes it to the MLH and thinks they are hot shit.

So Shane realizes his chirping DOES work just not on rozanov and becomes a menace he studies game tape specifically to find holes in his opponents game and pre prepares chirps and it fucking works because all these men are so far up their own asses that they just get mad instead of using the advice.

Idk I just needed Shane Chirping but in a very Shane way. Like he really just wants to play hockey but chirping is part of hockey so he studies chirping but doesn’t want to do any of the “classic” chirps (your mom! Your wife! Your girlfriend! You’re gay! Type of stuff) so he invents his own chirps out of his amazing mind

[thepoetsarejust]

the ways shane has influenced pop culture in my head

1. a canadian team bringing home the cup for the first time in like 20 years would have made sooo much noise, shane hollander basically put canada on the map.

2. obviously he is tumblr's boy of the year. along with superwholock.

3. in the wake of his insane b2b run there's something like linsanity happening within asian diaspora communities. shanesanity if you will. asians in hockey numbers rise up by 120% after the second stanley cup.

4a. i hate to say this but. drake referenced him in his songs. something about. i learned it from shane holly y'all can never check me. back to back for those that didn't get it. and yes of course the cover is shane's stanley cup photo. you know the one.

4b. and yes when eventually in 2025 drake has his big cancellation at the superbowl, some beat reporter asks what shane thinks of drake v kendrick, and shane ofc thought he'd side with the canadian. he had to make a clarification on twitter. 

4c. ilya tweeted like "shane don't have internet sorry about him 🙁"

5. shane's face is all over montreal like shohei ohtani is all over tokyo.

6. shane gets tapped for a tim horton's commercial once and basically ate their donuts like the mcdonald's CEO and was again cancelled on twitter.

7. post outing hockey shot up into stratospheric popularity a la f1. in fact people know hockey as that one sport with the gay asian and russian. shane hates this with a burning passion. it's the fault of that one tweet that was like "so in football terms this is kinda like if messi and ronaldo are fucking" and had 47M views.

[thepoetsarejust]

@miscelium i want you to know this comment blasted me to 2018 reliving my millennial period piece. the age of wong fu productions, ryan higa, michelle phan, and eugene lee yang from try guys being in the same period as b2b stanley cup shane hollander made me a bit crazy. shane hollander buzzfeed why i'm proud to be asian video posted with 100k likes in one hour and i'm gay spoken poetry cinematic video exists in this universe. viva la rainbow capitalism. maybe there's a gay asian hockey player in taylor swift's ME! video goddamn.

[softgnome]

Personally I do think that sometimes non-hockey fans can end up mischaracterizing Shane and Ilya because they don't know enough about hockey/hockey playstyles

The Ilya we see in Heated rivalry would not be throwing the first punch, he's not an enforcer. Ilya is a star center and a Pest. He wouldn't be doing his job correctly if he was punching players every other game, it would end up with not enough ice time to let him be the playmaker he's paid to be.

But being a pest can be playmaking! Find a player to bait, emotionally push them just enough that they try to fight you, and then get the fuck out of there before the ref gives you both penalties. This gets your team the power play. There is probably someone on Ilya's line dedicated to helping him get out of the fights he starts, and finishing them for him!

I also think this is also something that Shane would respect. Ilya is good at it and it's a good strategy for his team. I don't think Shane would see it as some dirty tactic, because Shane probably thinks everyone with a brain can see it for what it is! He probably thinks everyone should be able to see that being an asshole is a tactic for Ilya, that it's something to ignore and not fall for, that it's a strategy and not personal beef.

I think Shane's more disappointed when a Metro falls for it. Shane sees it as Ilya set up a Looney Toons ass obvious trap and one of his teammates ran into it. Why be mad at Bugs Bunny when you can be mad at your defenceman for falling for a fucking Bugs Bunny trap.

[valtsv]

unfortunately i can never hate on a "power of friendship" narrative no matter how corny because the thing is it's literally real

[boltlightning]

can everyone do me a favor and tell me your favorite thing to put on toast in the tags

[boltlightning]

i love this post so much. all the replies are like

"i'm so basic.....i just like a lot of butter or jam :(" (as though those are not god's best and most beloved condiments and his greatest gifts to mankind)

"FUCK health guidelines FUCK my cholesterol and most importantly FUCK diet culture i'll put a dumpster full of butter on my toast and not even GOD will stop me" (no notes. god would encourage this)

doxxing one's self by mention of polarizing regional delicacies (i am so curious about vegemite i must admit)

"does a grilled cheese count as toast?" (not for the purposes of this post)

"i don't like toast please don't kill me" (i appreciate the honesty but i fear this post is not for you)

people who put full ass meals on toast (based)

people who do not but eat toast as a full meal (based)

melty peanut butter (absolutely based)

"it's a guilty pleasure but...nutella 😳" (relieve yourself of fear and enjoy your dessert toast)

special shoutout to the pots-havers adding extra salt. also the one person who mentioned kaya. i see you and am in agreement

[beaft]

bitch moment: obviously this is subjective but a lot of modern queer lit (especially YA) has this specific tone that i find really grating. i want to call it "smug" but that's not exactly it. it's more like, that sense that the author is utterly convinced of the correctness of their own worldview and expects everyone else to agree with them on principle

[beaft]

two poles on this one btw

author is scared of me = terrified of ambiguity, uses excruciatingly precise language to avoid being misinterpreted, treats diversity as a box-ticking exercise, bends over backwards to explain itself when Literally No One Asked, all morally grey actions have to be immediately justified and resolved

author wants me dead = protagonist is unfailingly righteous and good, antagonist is irredeemably evil strawman, narrative refuses to make space for opinions/experiences that don't perfectly match up with the author's perspective, lots of Teachable Moments where an ignorant character is kindly shown the error of their ways by a wiser, more enlightened character

[mikkeneko]

#these things are not opposites on a spectrum#I see these mindsets packaged together more often than not#the author wants you dead because they are scared of you

[thatll-do]

They may not be smug but they are insufferable

[hella1975]

the orpheus and eurydice of satosugu btwwww a satoru who didn't freeze long enough to be locked in prison realm is a satoru who didn't love suguru it's that simple you can imagine all these different outcomes if he'd just reacted differently or quicker why did orpheus turn around why did the strongest sorcerer suddenly freeze but at the end of the day we know why

[hella1975]

love thinking about dabihawks as foils yes as characters but also as what they represent in society like the villain born of the no.2 hero vs the no.2 hero born of a villain and hawks moulded by the hpsc to represent their manufactured analysed idea of what the perfect hero looks like down to cosmetics and brands and accent and personality vs dabi as the visibly frightening body horror overly melodramatic extremely violent villain and hawks as a symbol of sanded down edges vs dabi as every sharp corner still dripping blood and they collide over the murder of someone they both considered a friend and guess which one of them is holding the blade!!!

[ilyashaneconnorhudson]

x

[not-so-goodomens]

It must have happened at least once during their first nights staying in/sleeping in the same bed that Ilya tried to to talk to a sleepy Shane and Shane automatically went "shut up, Hayden".

(It took him two hours and a long make out session to convince Ilya it was just out of habit).

[deja-b00]

somehow it comes up that troy had a crush on shane and was going to ask for his number. and after troy gets ribbed by his teammates and ilya makes a big scene, shane is like, “well i never would’ve gone out with you lol.”

and troy smiles, “right, because you were with roz the whole time.”

“i mean, yes, but also because you and dallas kent spent years calling me and jj ‘rush hour’ and asking hayden if his wife was his beard to cover up his big gay relationship with me.”

the rest of the centaurs blink. harris puts his head in his hands and groans.

and troy’s like, “oh. right. sorry about that :/“

[mayjuvac]

some amazing additions from the tags