delinquent!ellie williams x preppyfem!reader, enemies to lovers trope
smut, angst, tiny bit of fluff
summary: don’t let your boyfriend stop you from finding your girlfriend.
warnings: kissing, fingering & oral (r!recieving), masturbation, mentions of weed and smoking weed, mentions relationships w/ men, feelings, kinda mean ellie but then shes nice again, arguing and yelling kinda
contains smut!!!! minors, those under 18, do not interact/read this fanfic. 18+ only.
(let me know if i miss any more necessary warnings ty baes)
a/n: i wrote this in like one day. hope u all enjoy this fic as much as i enjoyed writing it! ya nasties ;)
word count: 4,347
you swore to yourself you’d never let yourself get involved with the university’s infamous delinquent— ellie williams. but you should’ve known that’d be hard to avoid, knowing she was just in reach as your roommate’s best friend.
ellie was always, and i mean always, there in your dorm. either chilling with dina, talking with dina, or, much to your disliking, smoking with dina.
ever since you ran into her on the first day of dorm move-in, she was constantly there, bickering with you, poking at you, and judging you for every little thing you did.
ellie had this image of you; an image of this perfect, high maintenance, always put-together, prissy, goody-two-shoes. it was far from the truth, well, kind of.
you did pride yourself on being one of the smartest girls on campus, and being very active in numerous extracurriculars at school. you were in the student body, the recycling club, the campus book club, the health club, the cooking club— you were just in a lot of clubs.
but it would be an understatement to say that ellie williams is everything opposite of you. she was on the other side of the spectrum you were on.
ellie williams was aggressive, a smartass, foulmouthed, risky, and usually up to trouble. always going to the dean’s office for a fight she probably started. the only reason why she hadn’t been kicked out from campus was because her stepdad is the dean's brother. don’t get yourself wrong, she was brilliant being an engineering major. but she was always doing something she wasn’t supposed to as if it fueled her drive.
you unlocked the door to your dorm, greeted with a fog of smoke. hacking out a cough, you switch on the lights, “dina!! what’d i tell you?” you lecture, stomping over towards the window to open it, “if you’re gonna smoke in here, at least open the window!”
“sorry, roomie,” dina coughed out, “we were just hotboxing.”
you turned towards the pair, criss-crossed on dina’s bed, and furrow your brows, “what? hotboxing?”
“yea, you know, smoking weed ’til the room fills up with smoke, so the high is more enhanced.” dina explained, you tilted your head to the side, still not fully comprehending whatever hotboxing was.
the brunette girl leaned against the wall, giving you a smirk. “c’mon, dee. don’t waste your breath explaining,” ellie retorted, “i’m sure lil miss perfect here never smoked or drank before.”
you scoffed, crossing your arms, “for your information, i have drank before.”
“oh yea? when was the last time, princess?” god, you hated that nickname. you hated the way it made you red in the cheeks.
“….at church.” you muttered quietly, sending ellie and dina into a fit of laughter.
“did you hear that, dee? at church! she said the last time she drank alcohol was at church!” ellie let out a boisterous laugh, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye.
“good one, princess.”
you huffed, rolled your eyes, and rummaged around your side of the room to search for what you were looking for in the first place.
was it so wrong for you to not drink or smoke weed? you didn’t think negatively about anyone who used it, but you just didn’t feel comfortable using something that had such an effect on you. you wanted autonomy over your body at all times.
bingo. you found the cropped white baby tee you wanted to change into, finding it more comfortable than the scratchy sweater you had on currently. turning away from the chatter of dina and ellie, you lifted the sweater above your head, tossed it in your laundry bag, and slipped into the more fitted and more comfortable white tee.
standing in front of your mirror, you checked your outfit. you thought a simple t-shirt and black yoga pants were cute enough to hang out with jacob in. you fixed your hair, and looked up at the corner of your mirror, your eyes meeting green ones.
ellie bit her lip, watching the beautiful yet stubborn girl in front of her. she couldn’t tear her eyes away from you. you just looked so goddamn beautiful. she couldn’t help but take a peek at the way your bare back curved or how soft your skin looked as your sweater slid off your body. ellie definitely didn’t complain about the yoga pants either and how they hugged your ass and thighs in all the right places.
knowing she was staring at you, you hiked your yoga pants higher and bent over a little, reapplying your favorite shimmering lipgloss in the mirror. you weren’t sure what came over you, but the feeling of knowing ellie was watching you, gave you butterflies in your belly.
you see her smirk and break eye contact with you. picking up your backpack and your ‘Organic Chemistry 101’ textbook, you bid dina a goodbye.
“i’ll be back later tonight dina, don’t wait up for me.” you said, slipping your shoes on.
ellie cleared her throat, “where you headed off to?”
“pi kappa alpha frat.” you met ellie’s eyes. they looked disappointed, but then quickly rolled to the side, masking whatever sadness you thought you saw.
“hm, i see,” ellie commented, “gonna go blow some frat dude’s cock, huh?”
you groaned, “ugh, no, idiot. i’m just gonna go study.”
“mhm, whatever you say, princess.” you open the door and leave, hearing the sound of dina yelling ‘be safe’ right before you left.
walking down the corridor, you thought to yourself ‘jacob isn’t that bad’. i mean, you both aren’t in a relationship by any means. you would describe it as ‘situationship’. jacob was nice, funny sometimes, cute, had a nice body, and was cool. him as a boyfriend though? you weren’t sure about that. he was good company, provided mediocre sex, and was nice to talk to, well, usually he’d talk about hockey and you’d listen. but that’s beside the point. you’re content with this situation, right?
-
walking back to your dorm from what was probably the worst sex of your life was, quite frankly, embarrassing. you spend time changing into a cute outfit, fixing your makeup, and spritzing on a little bit of your favorite expensive perfume to show up to this dude’s room with him reeking of sweat and ham. you were disappointed, to say the least.
yet, you stayed anyways, unsure of what even compelled you to do that. you stayed for the company, and that company starts rubbing on your ass and tits not even 5 minutes into the netflix show. eventually, you give in, feeling in the mood from a little making out, and you were met with 3 thrusts and cum on your stomach.
needless to say, you left in a hurry. currently cuddled under your pink duvet with your earphones on, you end up scrolling about on instagram, tapping to like and swiping up to comment on your friends posts.
while aimlessly scrolling, a picture from @e.williams pops up on your timeline. you study her picture in fascination.
it was a mirror picture of her in the gym, she had her hair up in her usual half-up half-down style with a tight tank top accentuating her physique as she was flexing her arms. gosh, how could someone so annoying be so gorgeous? your eyes trail to her arms and hands. and so fine? you double-tap on the picture, looking at it for a second more before scrolling past to the next post.
your phone vibrates, and you check the notification from your instagram dm’s.
@e.williams: you checking me out or something ??
you scoff, heat rising to your cheeks. luckily, ellie wasn’t here to see that, or else you would’ve never heard the end of it. you type back.
in ur dreams idiot
you lay in bed closing your eyes, and somehow, your mind drifts off to that annoying green-eyed girl.
your mind goes to the way she looks at you when she thinks you don’t notice, or how even though she comments on everything you do, she’s so attentive about it. your mind plays in your head the way she calls you those stupid nicknames, and as much as you claim to hate them, you can’t deny the way it makes your heart flutter.
then, your mind floats to the corner of your brain that you keep locked away. you think about the way ellie bites her lip when she gets anxious, how better her lips would feel pressed onto yours. you think about the way she flexes her arms and hands, wondering how they would feel stroking your most intimate parts.
you find your hand inside your panties. luckily, dina was in the communal showers, doing her 25-step skincare routine. knowing you had the time, your hand goes down to your wet heat, rubbing your clit in slow circles.
you close your eyes, picturing her in your head, imagining her fingers working on you instead. you think about how perfect she’d look above you, looking down at you with adoring eyes. you knew she’d take good care of you. you suppress the need to moan by biting down on the duvet.
even when she wasn’t here, ellie had a way of drawing out unrecognizable responses from you. your finger still rubbing circles on your clit, an orgasm began to bubble in your stomach. you picked up the pace, legs beginning to shake, “fuck, ellie..” you manage to moan out as you finish on your fingers.
gosh, what was this girl doing to me?
-
it was saturday night and you had managed to get another date with jacob. you rejected him at first, but he was very persistent and promised ‘mind-blowing sex’ and takeout from one of the best restaurants in town. you obliged, clearly in it only for the takeout.
you thought it’d be a good idea to hang out with him. his hockey stories distracted you from the real person you had your mind stuck on, ellie.
you thought about her all the time, it gave you a migraine. you couldn’t look her in the eyes anymore without feeling nervous. luckily, you managed to avoid her all week, hanging out at one of your good friend’s dorm room ’til you knew the coast was clear.
you didn’t let yourself think about what it would be like being in a relationship with ellie williams. she didn’t like you at all, not in that way anyway. she’d probably make some comment like ‘hell would freeze over before i even look at you like that’. the two of you together would be a recipe for disaster. you literally despised each other.
smoothing down your dress, you smiled at the mirror in satisfaction. you went over to your desk and sat down, getting ready to apply some light makeup.
hearing the door open and close, you assumed it was dina.
“damn, who died?”
your head turns and meets those stupid green eyes and that stupid smirk adorned with those stupid freckles that make your stupid heart race a little faster. god, you were so stupid.
“ha ha, very funny,” you snapped, “what are you doing here, anyways?”
“dina doesn’t get off work for a couple of hours and i didn’t have jackshit to do, so i thought i would wait for her here,” ellie plops down on dina’s bed.
“hell, no. get out,” you demanded, pointing to the door. you really just wanted her to leave so you could let go of the breath you’ve been holding. it made you anxious being alone with her and the fact that she wore that stupid blue button-up that made her look so good didn’t make anything better either.
“chill out, princess,” ellie said leaning back against dina’s head board, “you won’t even notice i’m here.”
you huffed in frustration, trying to hide the crimson creeping up on your cheeks. you proceeded to get your mind off the brunette by continuing your makeup, intently dabbing your concealer in, and carefully curling your lashes. you pat your face gently with some powder and brush out your brows, once in a while looking to the side of your mirror, catching ellie looking at you before she quickly looks away, pretending to be on her phone.
“gettin’ all dolled up for your lil’ boyfriend?” she asks dryly, still looking down at her phone.
“wouldn’t you like to know?”
“please, do enlighten me, princess.” you swallow hard, “i’ll have you know that i’m going out with jacob anderson tonight.”
“no fucking way, is that the shithead you’re seeing from pi kappa alpha?” she says, surprised with wide eyes.
“mhm,” you hummed in confirmation, still rummaging in your makeup.
“why am i even surprised, you did always gravitate towards the assholes.”
“what’s that supposed to mean?”, you paused and raised a brow.
“you go for assholes,” she stated, “do i need to spell it out for you?”
“jacob is not an asshole, he’s really nice.” you muttered, patting on some blush. “he’s hell of a lot nicer than you.”
okay, you knew that was a lie. but you had to think of a way to get her off your back.
“m’yeah, i highly doubt that. he’s a fucking tool,” she says nonchalantly, “where’s he even taking you anyways?”
“he asked me to meet up with him at the frat house, we’re gonna watch netflix and eat takeout and stuff,” you admit.
“you fuckin’ with me?” ellie looks surprised and almost pissed.
“no, why would i?”
“are you serious? it’s pouring rain outside and he asked you to come over,” she points out, “the asshole didn’t even have the decency to come over here and walk with you himself.”
your eyes look out the window, barely registering the pitter-patter of the rain hitting your window. you didn’t even know it was raining and you wore a dress. your mind was so consumed with classes, ellie, clubs, ellie, student body, ellie, and ellie. the small details just flew right over your head.
you stay silent, and she just gives you a look. a look you couldn’t decipher.
“you’re a real piece of work, y’know that?” ellie retorts, crossing her arms. jesus, why did she have to look so good like that?
“what’d i do this time? please, share with the class.” you say, voice dripping with sarcasm.
“you just go for guys who treat you like garbage or who’re way out of your league.” she argues, “they’re either too stupid or don’t give a fuck about you.” ouch. that kind of stung.
you close your eyes, waiting before answering back at her, “can you stop it?! just for once. stop judging every single thing i do.” you yell, exasperated.
ellie’s eyes widen and she lets out a laugh, which sets you off even more.
“you think this is funny? you always make some snide comment about me. i’m too high maintenance, i’m a teacher’s pet, i’m spoiled, i go after horrible guys—“
“because you do!” she yells back.
“and why do you care, ellie?!” you yell, becoming out of breath, partly due to the hard pounding of your heartbeat in your chest, “why do you care so much?
she goes silent.
“god, you infuriate me, ellie williams.” you breathe out. you felt almost as if fire was igniting inside of you and your slow breaths were releasing the smoke. you close your eyes, attempting to calm down before opening them again and putting on the last finishing touches on your makeup. as you stand up grabbing your purse, and you hear ellie let out a heavy sigh.
“you’re seriously still gonna go out with that fucking frat bro prick jacob anderson? after everything i said?” she snarks, “i thought girls like you were supposed to be smart.”
“yea, as a matter of fact. i am still going,” you give her a mocking smile.
“why? so, he can fuck you missionary in the dark while he finishes in 3 seconds?” she lets out a harsh laugh, “how fucking romantic.”
“again, why do you even care? you don’t even like me,” you counter, her head spins in your direction.
“who told you that?” ellie appeared angry, her eyes sharp and a serious tone in her voice.
“no one that matters.”
there’s a pregnant pause in the air as if she’s hesitating to say something.
“well, whoever the fuck they are, they’re wrong.” she confessed, her voice wavering.
“what do you mean?”
she sighs in frustration, running a hand through her hair before standing up in front of you.
“i’m infatuated with you.”
“huh?” you manage to croak out in shock. did you hear her correctly?
“yea. you heard me. i’m infatuated with you. you fucking consume every corner of my mind. every capacity of my being.” she comes closer to you, backing you up against the door, “you drive me absolutely insane.”
“then why do you treat me like this?” you ask, looking up at her with big, curious eyes. ellie’s eyes soften at you.
“because— i hate seeing you go on dates with those dicks who don’t deserve you. i hate seeing the way you dress in those short-ass fucking dresses and skirts for them. i hate knowing that they don’t even make you feel good. i hate that you waste your time on those assholes instead of—,” she breathes, “—instead of me.”
you look at her, searching for any sign of doubt in her face. nothing. no. she couldn’t do this. she couldn’t spring this on you. she couldn’t act one way to you for months and then tell you something different the next.
“so what? you think you deserve me? you deserve my attention?” you snap ungraciously.
“as a matter of fact, yes. yes i do.” she whispers, getting closer to you. “you and i both know it,” her breath fans your face, “i’d make you feel better than any of those assholes could.”
you shift uncomfortably in your spot, pulling your eyes away from hers.
“i can give you everything you deserve. i can give you everything you want.” she swears. “i can make your pussy feel so, so good, baby,” you can feel your wetness pool in your panties.
“can make you whimper and moan,” ellie suddenly grabs you by the bare flesh underneath your ass, her warm hands hoisting you up and wrapping your legs around her waist.
“jus’ give me a chance to show you.” she whispers lowly. you smash your lips onto hers, your hands holding onto the nape of her neck. you knew this was probably a bad idea, but god, the way her tongue felt in your mouth felt ungodly. her tongue rubbed against yours, exploring your mouth like it was something she was destined to do.
walking towards your bed, your frame still wrapped up around her, she bent down to lay you on your bed. ellie pulled away from your lips and looked down at you, scattering gentle kisses below your jawline towards your neck, your legs still firmly wrapped around her figure.
with your eyes closed, savoring the feeling of her lips all over your neck, you attempted to put an end to this. “el, we can’t,” you nearly moan out.
“why? ‘cause of jacob?” ellie lets out an amused laugh, before pressing her lips against the weak spot of your neck, sucking on it.
another moan vibrates through you, “god, ellie,” you let out meekly.
“tell me to stop,” she commands, her lips moving to suck on the spot above your collarbone, the tip of her tongue gliding against your skin. don’t stop.
“tell me that i’m wrong,” ellie murmured, “that i don’t deserve you.” you deserve me.
her fingers lift up the hem of your dress, exposing your stomach. her lips pepper sloppy kisses against the supple skin of your stomach, “tell me you don’t want me,” i want you, “that you don’t feel the same for me.” i do feel the same for you.
“tell me, baby,” ellie kisses in the space between your breasts, “tell me you’re not mine.”
your heart was beating in and out of your chest. this was it. this was your chance. getting an opportunity to be with ellie williams was a once-in-a-lifetime offer, and you weren’t passing up your dream girl.
you grab her face, lifting her lips up to yours. “i’m yours, ellie,” you cooed, “i’m all yours.”
leaning her forehead against yours, her lips curled into a smile, before pressing onto yours one more time. her warm hands rubbed against the skin on your waist, exploring every inch of warm, flesh. you whined against her mouth, wanting more. you needed more. you needed her.
ellie’s hands trailed upwards, lifting the dress off you and discarding it somewhere in your room. she took this opportunity to pull away from you for a second, her eyes grazing your body. ellie found it hard to believe she was in this situation, with you underneath her, nearly naked and looking angelic. she took a mental picture of this moment, never wanting to forget how you looked at her— with love.
her fingers went behind you to unclasp your bra, letting it fall and tossing it to the side.
“fuck, you’re so beautiful,” she whispered, “you’re beyond anything i could’ve dreamt of.”
your stomach erupted in butterflies, flushed at this newfound sweet side to ellie. her mouth placed sloppy kisses on your chest, sucking on the soft skin and leaving maroon-colored marks as a reminder of where she had been and where she belongs.
she took your breast in her mouth, letting her tongue wrap around your hardened nipple. “oh my god, ellie,” you hissed. she smirked up at you, letting one of her hands massage and pinch on the other nipple.
“please, ellie,” you begged, “touch me, please.”
she let out a sickening chuckle, the heat of her mouth fanning your skin, sending shivers up your spine.
“where, sweet girl?” she said bringing her lips down to suck on your nipple again, “use your words.”
you bucked your hips up, “please, el, touch my pussy. pretty please.” you breathe out.
“ah, ah, ah, can’t hear you, baby.” she mocked, pulling her lips away from your now sensitive nipples.
“ellie, please,” you whined out, “i want you to touch my pussy. please.”
she smirks, satisfied with where she has you. “that’s my good girl. how obedient, hm?”
she stands up, still in between your legs, and pulls your body to the edge of the mattress. her hands go to the waistband of your panties, using her fingers to ever-so-slowly peel them off of you. she was intentionally moving agonizingly slow. her hands caressed your inner thighs and calves, finally chucking your panties somewhere on the floor.
“fuck, i’ve been waiting so long to do this,” ellie said, crouching down on the floor in front of you. you could feel her hot breath against your pussy, and you couldn’t bear it any longer.
“please, i need you, el,” you beg, hoping for some relief. her hands lifted your thighs and placed them on her shoulders, her lips pressing soft kisses in between your thighs. she presses a kiss against your inner thigh, on your pussy lips, and then finally on your clit.
ellie works slow and patiently, using her fingers to steadily spread your pussy lips apart and gather your wetness with her tongue. she uses one finger and inserts it inside you, eliciting a gasp from your lips.
you throw your head back, “oh my god, ellie, yes,” you moan out, your eyes rolling to the back of your head.
“look at you, getting what you want, you spoiled girl,” she mutters against your pussy, before putting her lips on your clit again, sucking on your sensitive core. her finger pumping in and out of you easily, the slick sound of your wetness reverberating throughout the room.
“you taste so fucking good, baby,” ellie hums against you, slurping up every drop of your juices. she adds a second finger, stretching you out a bit, but still sliding in and out of you with ease.
her tongue flicking against your clit combined with her fingers fucking you was enough to almost send you over the edge, you cover your mouth with your hand, suppressing a loud moan that was tempted to come out.
“no, let me hear you, sweet girl,” ellie orders, “let everyone in this whole goddamn hall hear how good i’m fingerfucking you right now.”
you let your hand drop to your side, relishing in the ecstasy, and letting out a moan you were holding back.
“that’s my girl.”
you hear your phone ring, knowing it’s jacob, probably wondering why you haven’t shown up by now. but here you were, with ellie, knuckles deep inside your pussy.
she grabs your phone from the nightstand with her free hand, while the other is picking up the pace with her fingers, eliciting another moan from your parted lips, “hey fucker, leave a message. she’s busy right now.”
you should’ve scolded her about how she answered your phone, but right now, any consequences you thought about vanished as she continued licking circles against your swollen clit while simultaneously curling her fingers up inside your leaking hole.
“el—“ you barely choked out, “m’gonna— gonna—“
she kept the same pace, not for a second slowing down, “you gonna cum, baby? huh? you gonna cum for me?”
you nodded weakly, clenching your pussy around her fingers and tightening your thighs around her head.
“go ‘head, angel,” her pace never misses a beat, “show me who you belong to.”
your back arches off the mattress and you cry out, riding out your orgasm and letting your juices flow out of you.
after cleaning your thighs with a wet wipe and towel, ellie comes up to hover above your face, planting a tender kiss on your lips.
“is it too late to ask you to be my girlfriend?” she asks, letting out a sincere laugh.
Warnings: Controlling!Dina, Mentions of gangs, Hiding hanging out with a female friend from an overbearing partner, yearning, tracing tattoos, tender moments, kissing, sharing dessert
Summary: You finally meet Jesse’s friends after somehow avoiding them for a few years. You and Ellie hit it off and become friends, although you slowly become more than that.
The backyard was filled with laughter as you and your friends hang out at the pool. There is music playing in the background, various alcoholic drinks at the bar, and discarded bikini tops hanging around. Your roommate Jesse was supposed to be away on a camping trip for a week, so you planned a small party with your friends. The two of you are childhood friends and you chose to get a place together when the time to move out came around. Since your house is in a very private area, the girls liked to go braless and enjoy the sun. It was something you did when Jesse wouldn’t be home for a day or two so you could let loose.
“Heads up!” Addison calls out as the volleyball comes towards you. You jump up and send the ball back over the net. More of the girls join in on the game and it’s three against three while someone refs. You play a few rounds, cracking jokes about looking like you’re in an anime, and lowkey trying to knock someone out.
“HOLY SHIT!” You screech, dodging the ball that nearly hit you in the face, “You did that on purpose!” You gape at Riley who’s cracking up.
“Sorry, Y/n! I couldn’t help myself!” Riley laughs, making the others laugh too.
“Y/N!” You hear Jesse shout and you whirl around to see him standing in the doorway.
“JESSE?!” You shout in confusion, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING BACK SO SOON?!”
“COME HERE!” Jesse waves you inside before he vanishes. You groan but get out of the pool and toss a towel over your shoulders to cover your chest. ‘Why’s he back so soon? And what does he even want? At least it’ll give me time to figure out a prank against Riley.’ You pause in the doorway when you see your living room full of people. ‘Maybe I should have put my top back on…’ You think idly but shrug and walk into the living room.
“You must be Jesse’s friends.” You say as you walk into the living room, startling the people and turning to you, “I didn’t expect any of you to be back until Sunday.”
“Damn, and who are you?” One of the guys wolf-whistles, making you roll your eyes. ‘Ugh, I know I’m not completely dressed but really? Could you be any more annoying the first time you meet someone?’ The girl next to him slaps him on the arm with a glare.
“You must be Y/n, Jesse’s roommate.” A black-haired girl says, “With the...underboob tattoo.” She motions underneath her chest. You glance down at yourself, catching sight of the colorful ink on your skin. ‘Is she… judging my tattoo?’
“Yup, and you are…?”
“Dina. Jesse’s best friend. I’ve been here like a hundred times.” Dina raises an eyebrow. ‘Ah, the ex-girlfriend. He still hangs with her?’ A flicker of annoyance goes through you. You weren’t a big fan of her after what she did to Jesse.
“And I haven’t seen you one time.” You shrug, “Speaking of my childhood friend, where is he? I didn’t come inside to dry off.” You put a hand on your hip, feeling the water running down your body.
“I’m here. Don’t get your bikini in a twist.” Jesse comes into the living room with an auburn-haired woman. You lock eyes with her - a beautiful green - before you take in her appearance. High tops, black jeans, a band tee, and a wrist covered in bracelets. ‘Damn, she’s exactly the kind of woman I’d go for. She’s got tats, too. Not to mention a gorgeous face.’
“Who’s this with you?” You raise an eyebrow.
“This is Ellie. I’ve mentioned her to you before. My friend from college and Dina’s new girlfriend.” Jesse motions to her. ‘Really?’ You bite your lip to stop yourself from frowning. You’re feeling quite attracted to her and she hasn’t even spoken to you, yet.
“Hey. You must be Y/n.” Ellie’s voice is slightly raspy but soothing, and her friendly tone catches your attention. ‘Fuck, she has a nice voice, too.’
“That I am.” You nod, “Now why did you call me in here, and why are you home two days ahead of schedule?”
“One of the guys got caught in an illegal bear trap so we had to rush him to the hospital. The rest of us decided to come home after that.” Jesse tosses you his phone, “Is it alright if they crash for the night? I’ll set the basement room up so they’re not in the living room.” You wince at the pictures of the wound. They warn people about illegal traps, to stay on the regular hiking paths, and this was a glaring reminder. ‘This is why I don’t go camping with Jesse and his friends. I swear he loses his brain cells every time he does.’
“Yeah, that’s fine. The girls are spending the night, but they’re going to sleep in my room.” You toss his phone back, “So, who’s everyone here?”
“That’s Abby, Owen, Mel, Manny, and Dina. You just met Ellie. The others are at the hospital.” Jesse points them out. You mentally tag Owen as the one who whistled at you. ‘I’ll be staying away from him.’
“Hey, Y/n?” You hear Addison from behind you.
“Yeah?” You turn around.
“The girls are starting to get hungry.” Addison says, “So, I think it’s time we order the sandwiches.”
“Okay, I’ll make the call, and I’ll join you girls back outside in a moment. Let them know Jesse’s friends are here, so they can put their bikinis back on if they’re not comfortable with staying topless.”
“Got it.” Addison nods, eyes flicking over your shoulder, “Hey, Jesse.” She winks before heading back outside. You catch a slight blush on Jesse’s face and grin to yourself. ‘I really need to set those two up. They clearly like each other yet neither of them has made a move!’
“You guys are swimming around topless?” Mel questions, a confused look on her face, “Doesn’t that feel awkward?”
“No.” You shrug, “Jess, can you-”
“They’ve already been ordered.” Jesse grins, flashing his phone at you to show you the confirmation page. ‘God, I love him! I didn’t even have to ask!’
“You’re the best friend ever!” You throw your arms around him, kissing him on the cheek, “Anyway, I’m heading back into the pool so I’ll see you around.” You wave at everyone, briefly locking eyes with Ellie, before making your way back out. ‘Ellie is attractive and definitely someone I’d like a chance with. Too bad she’s dating Dina.’ You sigh.
~
“It feels weird seeing Ellie after so many years.” Riley says as you lock your room door. You and the girls were exhausted after a long day of hanging in the pool. You stayed out until after midnight since your little get-together was being cut short. Everyone showered and grabbed their stuff from downstairs, so you were going to hang out until you got tired enough to sleep. The air mattress was set up and placed at the foot of your bed, so three of your friends were sleeping there and the other two would be sleeping with you.
“Is that why she looked so awkward next to you?” Lisa grins, getting comfortable on the air mattress, “You know each other?”
“We went to the same boarding school, and we dated for a little while. At least, until I ran away and joined the Fireflies.” Riley chuckles, “I’m surprised she’s with… what’s her name again?”
“Dina.” You say, plopping on the bed next to her, “Why are you surprised they’re together?”
“Yeah, why?” Addison gives her an intrigued look. When your food arrived, you all went inside to eat and hung out with Jesse and his friends for a bit. You could tell that there was something between Ellie and Riley by the surprise on both of their faces. You felt a little silly not having connected the dots that Jesse’s friend was the ex-girlfriend Riley talked about.
“No offense but Dina seems… a little bland for her. The Ellie I know is very outgoing and loves to do crazy things. We used to sneak out together and climb rooftops in Old Boston. We’ve even done graffiti.” Riley sighs, “The Ellie I saw in there was quietly sitting by her girlfriend and not joining in the card game. She loves playing Uno! I mean- I don’t know. People change, I guess.”
“Damn… Well, Y/n was totally into her.” Maddie smirks up at you.
“Maddie!” You gasp.
“No, no. Don’t try to deny it.” Stephanie playfully wags her finger at you, “You were eyeing her! I saw it!”
“Ellie is your type.” Riley adds on, only making the situation worse. Everyone was grinning at you, including Riley, and you can feel your cheeks heat up.
“Okay, yeah. I’m into Ellie. But! She’s with Dina and I don’t go after taken women.” You jab Addison who you know was going to tease you, “Besides, this is the one time I’ll be seeing her. So…” You shrug.
“Well, you can date her.” Riley says, “Even though she’s my ex, I don’t care if you date her. Hell, you’ll be perfect for her. If she’s ever single and into you.”
“Yes!” Lisa cheers, “Girl code won’t get in the way!”
“Speaking of girl code. Addison.” You smirk, “When are you going to ask Jesse out?” You watch as Addison’s face goes pink, making you snicker.
“He’s your roommate.” Addison clears her throat, “I shouldn’t date him.”
“Bullshit!” The girls chorus and you throw a pillow at her.
“You know Y/n’s actively encouraging you to date him!” Maddie hits her leg, “Ask him out! He’s into you, dummy!”
“Ugh, fine!” Addison groans, falling back on the bed, “I’ll do it in the morning.”
“YES!” You all cheer. After that, you continue to talk until you get tired. Everyone mutually agrees to head to bed, and you get comfortable before turning the lights out.
It’s only been an hour since you fell asleep, but you woke up and couldn't go back to bed. This was normal for you, so you were heading to the kitchen to make some tea. The only light in the house comes from the nightlights you have in the hallways. It made it easier to walk around at night, especially because your rooms are upstairs. You raise an eyebrow when you notice that the light is on, and pause when you see Ellie sitting at the island. ‘She’s awake this late? Did she have trouble sleeping, too?’
“Hey.” You say softly, making Ellie look up from the counter.
“H-Hey.” Ellie’s eyes widen in surprise, not a sign of sleep in them, “You’re up late.”
“I usually am, but this time I woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep.” You take two mugs out, “What about you? Late night owl or insomniac?”
“Both.” Ellie chuckles, “Except this time, I’m just overthinking some things.”
“Would you like some chamomile tea?” You click on the kettle so it’ll heat up.
“That would be nice, thank you.” Ellie gives you a small smile. With a nod, you grab the tea leaves and the diffusers and place them into the cups. You didn’t like using tea bags, preferring to use the loose leaves instead. You take the seat across from her, waiting for the water to boil. The two of you sit in silence for a few minutes, not really knowing what to say. You get up and pour the water into the cups when the kettle clicks off.
“Here you go.” You place the mug in front of her, “Let it sit for a few minutes, and then you can add in the honey.”
“Thank you.” Ellie pulls the mug closer to her, “Do you… do that often?”
“Do what?” You question, placing the honey on the counter.
“Swim topless?” Ellie says quietly, a soft blush on her cheeks.
“Not often. The girls and I only do it when Jesse isn’t around. For the girls with bigger chests, it’s relaxing when they can’t feel the weight and it’s honestly nice not having to cover up all the time.” You take out your diffuser and start mixing in the honey, “I would’ve put my top back on if I knew other people were here.” You chuckle.
“That sounds nice.” Ellie smiles, “Although, I don’t really have any boobs.” She motions to her chest. Your eyes follow her movement, looking at her chest for a moment before you focus back on your tea. ‘I shouldn’t have looked, but my eyes followed her hand.’
“That doesn’t matter. Boobs are boobs.” You shrug, “I’m going to play with them no matter the size.” Ellie chokes on her tea as you take a sip of yours. You watch in amusement as she coughs. ‘I didn’t think she’d react like that to my statement, but it’s true. It doesn’t matter the size, boobs are amazing no matter what.’
“Sorry-” Ellie coughs again, “I didn’t expect you to say that so casually.”
“I’m sorry.” You chuckle, “I’m used to Jesse and my friends. We talk very bluntly about stuff like that.”
“How have you been friends with Jesse for so long and you’re just now meeting us?”
“I give him space to hang out with you guys, and I tend to schedule with my friends around that. Jesse only knows some of my friends because we grew up together.” You take a sip of your tea, pleased with the taste.
“Well, it was nice to talk with you today.” Ellie says, taking the diffuser out of her cup, “I’m sorry about what Dina said about your tattoo. I think it looks great. The line work is clean, and the shading is well done. I liked it.”
“Thank you.” You feel yourself blush, “It’s a piece I planned out myself. I’ve always found tattoos like that beautiful and wanted to get one… It hurt like a bitch though.” You chuckle.
“It for sure hurt more than mine.” Ellie grins and holds her arm out to you, slowly turning it so you can see the whole piece. It was a moth with a few fern leaves. Simple but elegant in its own way.
“It’s beautiful.” You run your fingers over it without thinking, “Does it have any special meaning?” There was something you found so attractive about tattoos, especially when they were on a cute woman like Ellie.
“It has to do with my adoptive dad and my past.” Ellie shivers at your touch but doesn’t acknowledge it, “I got this and he has something similar.”
“That’s cool.” You smile, “Cute, even.”
“Cute?” Ellie raises an eyebrow, “The girl at the tattoo studio told me I’d be scary, not cute. I think I have to get my money back.” She jokes, making you giggle.
“I’m sorry, but any tattoo on you would be cute. Even if it was a skeleton covered in blood or something.” You say teasingly, “That’s just the kind of vibe you give off.”
“Yeah? Well, your tattoo perfectly fits the mysterious girl-next-door vibe you give off.” Ellie winks, drinking from her cup as you laugh. Jesse used to joke about that when you were younger as you lived next door to him. The two of you would playfully complain to your parents that if he was a girl, you could’ve dated him. His mother would tease him and say that his hair was long enough to qualify him as one as it used to be down his back.
“Do you really get that vibe from me?” You grin at her.
“This is my first time meeting you, so… mysterious? Check. And, from everything Jesse has told me about you… girl-next-door? Check.” Ellie grins back.
“Jesse talks about me?” You raise an eyebrow, “My Jesse?”
“Yes, he talks about you.” Ellie chuckles, “You’re a part of his entire life. How could he not talk about you?” You meet her eyes, seeing them shine in the kitchen light. ‘They’re such a vivid green. I don’t think I’ve seen this shade before.’
“Tell me more.” You push your empty cup to the side.
“About?” Ellie gives you an amused smile, doing the same.
“Yourself. How about you tell me how you met Jesse?” You rest your head on your hand.
“Oh, man.” Ellie’s giggling and she hasn’t even said anything yet, “It’s a hilarious story.”
In the morning, you’re being hauled out of bed by a nervous Addison. So your group takes their time getting ready, wondering what to get for breakfast when Maddie brings up acai bowls. You’re all instantly agreeing and you whip your phone out of your pocket to pull up the store’s website. The girls give you their orders and you add one for Jesse who was sure to strangle you in your sleep if you didn’t get him one.
After putting on your converse, you grab your bag and head downstairs with the girls. Riley would be the one going with you while everyone else sets up outside. You’d be heading back into the pool after breakfast and then the girls would be leaving before lunch. When you get downstairs, you see Jesse and his friends sitting around and drinking coffee. You and Ellie exchange smiles. Your conversation from last night was a fun one that was brought to an end when you could barely keep yourself awake.
“Morning, guys!” You chirp, “Riley and I are heading out for a food run. The girls and I ordered acai bowls for breakfast. Did you guys eat already?”
“You ordered acai bowls?!” Ellie jumps up from her seat on the couch, “Can I come with you? I fucking love them!” You and Riley share a look, your friend winking at you to show that she supported it. ‘What does she have planned?’ You groan internally.
“Sure thing, Els!” Riley responds. Ellie grins and comes over to the two of you, tucking her phone into her jacket pocket as she does.
“You’re going to get me one, right?” Jesse pouts.
“I already ordered yours.” You nod, “Send me the money when you get a chance.” With that, the three of you head for your car where Riley insists that Ellie sit up front with you. There’s an awkward hesitation, but Ellie slides into the passenger seat and you glare at Riley over the top of the car. Your friend smiles cheekily, ducking into the backseat as you sigh and hop in. The drive to the store is surprisingly full of energy as the three of you fall into conversation. Ellie and Riley take the time to reminisce on their childhood, telling you about some of the things they did together. You were happy that you were parked when they told you about the prank they played on their house monitor because you burst out laughing.
You all have large grins on your face when you go into the store. Riley goes straight to the pickup while you and Ellie continue talking on your way to the counter. You idly scan the room while Ellie looks at the order board, seeing two elderly women sitting down and drinking smoothies. ‘Early birds, huh?’ You smile to yourself, turning back to the board.
“Did you decide what you want to get?” You question Ellie.
“Ah, I wanted to try something new but I’m stuck between Chocolate Dreams and Sunset Crush.” Ellie pouts. ‘Awe, cute.’
“Well, do you want something sweet or are you going fruity?”
“I can’t go fruity if I’m already gay, Y/n.” Ellie playfully bumps your shoulder with hers, “You of all people should know that.”
“Then there’s your answer! Go for the chocolate one since you’re already so fruity.” You bump her shoulder in return. Ellie laughs and orders her bowl as Riley comes bounding over with the two bags that have your orders. It’s not long before Ellie gets handed her bowl and she comes over to you two with an excited grin.
“Excuse me?” A soft voice says from behind you. You turn around to see those elderly women from earlier giving you kind smiles.
“Oh, yes?” You smile sweetly, “Can I help you with something?”
“No, dear. We just wanted to say that it’s wonderful to see you and your girlfriend be openly affectionate like that. I wish I could have done that with my wife.” She smiles affectionately at the woman next to her. ‘Awe, they’re together… Wait, did she just call Ellie and me girlfriends?’ You pause. You open your mouth to tell them that you’re only friends when Riley speaks up before you.
“They’re such a cute couple!” Riley gushes, “I tell them this all the time. I’m so jealous of their relationship.”
“You’ll get there one of these days.” The woman pats Riley on the shoulder and smiles at you three, “Have a great day, girls… and don’t stop showing your love for each other.” They walk out holding hands before you can tell them you’re not with Ellie.
“Let’s go!” Riley guides you and Ellie to the front doors, you holding it open for them.
“Riley.” Ellie clears her throat, “...Did you tell those women that Y/n and I are dating?”
“Yup!” Riley chirps, waiting for you to open the car door for her.
“Why?!” You and Ellie shout, “We’re not together!”
“Come on, guys.” Riley pouts, “They looked so happy! I didn’t have the heart to tell them otherwise.” You groan and open the door for her, grumpily getting into the car. The whole drive back to your house, the three of you go back and forth on what Riley said. You and Ellie weren’t together and it didn’t feel right to say that you were when she was in a relationship. Sure you aren’t a big fan of Dina, but that didn’t make it right. Besides, attraction aside, you just met her! When you get back to the house, Riley jumps out of the car and you groan.
“...You know, she’s right.” Ellie sighs, “I wouldn’t have had the courage to tell them otherwise. Who wants to upset elderly ladies?”
“I know.” You sigh, “I wouldn’t have been able to, either. It just startled me, but it’s something Ry does.”
“Trust me, I know.” Ellie laughs, “Oh! By the way, give me your number?”
“Why?” You raise an eyebrow but take her phone from her.
“Dina doesn’t like acai bowls, and sometimes I don’t want to go alone. I need a buddy to go with me, so I’m volunteering you.” Ellie grins. You laugh and put your number in her phone.
“I can get behind that.” You grin at her, “Just send me an S.O.S when you need an impromptu bowl run.”
“Great!” Ellie texts your phone and you add her number, “Look out because I’ll be texting you sooner than you think.”
“I look forward to it.” You smile.
Ellie was right when she said she’d text you sooner than you thought. It was only three days later when your phone pinged and she was asking you to tag along. The whole thing started with getting açaí bowls together, and then you invited her to go shopping with you one day. Soon, you and Ellie were hanging out at least twice a week when either of you got bored or wanted a friend to hang around with. There were things that she wanted to do but didn’t want to do alone. Abby - who is her childhood best friend - is a bounty hunter and can be gone for weeks at a time. With Jesse being the head of the ranger patrol, he worked long shifts on the days he was out and came home exhausted. Dina didn’t like the things Ellie loved, but you did, so it became obvious to ask you to tag along.
Over the next few months, you realized that Riley was right. It was like there were two different sides to Ellie. When it was the two of you, she was bouncing from the walls and talking like she couldn’t stop. She lays across you when hanging out on the couch or bed, likes holding your hand, and is a touchy person. You also learned that Ellie could be loud. Her laughter, her shouting, and even her voice gets louder when she’s excited or passionate about something. Yet, when you were on the phone and Dina comes around or she talks about her girlfriend, Ellie seems to deflate. It confused you - concerned you - but you didn’t ask about it, not wanting to be invasive on a topic that might be sensitive.
The more you hang out with her, the more you realize that you’re falling for her. Your heart would beat a little faster when she laid on top of you or when she gave you a smile that made her eyes shine. You had to clamp down on your feelings for her, choosing to keep your friendship and respect her relationship. Although, you found yourself acting on impulse a few times when it came to her. You’d buy something that you knew she’d like - a space pin, a pack of stickers, and a band or graphic tee. For her birthday, you went shopping for her gift before her party and Ellie excitedly squealed when she saw friendship bracelets. She rambled about how she never got to wear any when she was younger because she moved around so often, so you got a pair that has a little bat wing charm and connects when you hold hands. You didn’t go to her party since you already had plans with your friend group, but she called you later with all of the details. And, it wasn’t long before Jesse approached you about your little crush.
“Hey, Y/n?” Jesse questions as he hands your sushi roll, “When were you going to tell me about your crush on Ellie?” You pause, sushi halfway to your mouth that you slowly put back down into the container.
“I was planning on telling you when it went away.” You sheepishly smile, “Not even Ellie knows. I don’t want to complicate her relationship.”
“I’m your best friend! You should tell me these things so I can tease you about them.” Jesse whines, “I’m also your wingman! I can’t do my job if you’re not giving me the details.”
“Exactly! You’re my best friend and you’re also one of Ellie’s friends. What if you say something to her accidentally?” You huff, stuffing a piece of sushi in your mouth.
“I wouldn’t do that!” Jesse gasps, “I’ve never done that!”
“...Leah Hale from high school.” You deadpan.
“Oh.” Jesse blinks, “Right… Leah.”
“Mhm.” You hum, nodding your head, “To be fair, it was that one time, but I don’t want to chance anything with Ellie.”
“Yeah, I get that. Dina can be insanely jealous at times, too. If she knew you were into her?” Jesse sighs, “I told Ellie I didn’t care if she dated Dina, but I warned her about her. She seems to be a bit better with Ellie, but I’ve noticed that Els kinda loses herself when Dina’s around. I don’t pry but… I worry. I’m glad she has you around for company when I’m unavailable.”
“Is that why she doesn’t have friends?” You frown, connecting the dots, “Ellie said you’re the only close friend in her life.”
“Probably. I didn’t tell you, but Dina would try and keep me from hanging out with my friends. It helped that I’m closer to Ellie, Abby, and Manny. But, she liked to be with me every time I was free. I’d have to make plans in advance and not tell her about them.”
“Jess… Why didn’t you tell me about this?” You ask softly, moving over to hug him.
“Because I know you.” Jesse chuckles, voice thick with emotion, “Even though you’re not affiliated with the Corvids anymore, I’m sure you would’ve found a way for her to go missing. You’ve always been protective over me and my mother.”
“Damn right.” You nudge him, making him smile at you.
“Can you check on Ellie for me?” Jesse rubs his hands together, “Just… make sure she’s okay? I can’t do it with my busier schedule in preparation for the winter. If Dina is anything like how she was with me…”
“Don’t worry, Jess. I’ve got her.” You smile at him, “Now, is that everything about your relationship with Dina?”
“That’s everything.” Jesse nods, “I told you most of it, except for that… only took me four months to admit.” The two of you chuckle. You get up and head into the kitchen for the cheesecake you bought as dessert. The two of you like to indulge every once in a while, and when you found out the bakery had a midnight chocolate cheesecake Jesse immediately purchased it. So you cut two generous slices, plate them, and zip back out to the living room.
“Y/N, THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS IS ON!” Jesse screams just as you come out of the kitchen.
“TURN IT UP!” You scream, hurriedly sitting down and shoving his plate into his hands. The two of you curl up on the couch, turning the lights out to fully enjoy the movie. You make a mental note to text Ellie once it’s over, digging into your cheesecake and throwing your legs over Jesse’s.
Ellie lets out a yawn as Dina gets up and goes into the bathroom she just came from. Her eyes land on her strap on the floor and she sighs, internally reminding herself to get a new one. This one was one Dina had specifically told her to get after she threw away her old one. Dina’s reasoning was that she didn’t want to use something someone else used. It confused Ellie because she thoroughly cleaned her sex toys after every use, using cleaners specifically for them. But, she wasn’t about to go grab a silicone dildo from the trash so she relented.
As she’s pulling her boxers on, her phone vibrates and Ellie picks it up. A flicker of excitement goes through her when she sees Y/n’s name. ‘Hey there, Ellie-bean! Are you able to FaceTime tonight?’ Ellie bites her lip, feeling her mood go down when she realizes that she can’t video call with Y/n. If there was one thing Ellie knew better than to do around Dina, it was to talk to any of her friends. Her girlfriend tended to sit in or insert herself during conversations, sometimes hanging up the phone when she didn’t want Ellie talking. That’s why she had to keep her friendship with Y/n a secret. She didn’t want it to turn out like her friendship with Abby, where they only text if they’re not hanging out in person. Abby didn’t like not being able to have private conversations with Ellie, especially with her line of work. She didn’t want something like that happening with Y/n, too.
‘Sorry, Y/n/n. I’m with Dina right now. We can meet up tomorrow after my shift if you’d like?’ Ellie puts her phone back down, making sure to put it on do not disturb before she finishes getting ready for bed. As she cleans and disinfects her strap, she can’t help but think about Y/n. Ellie was thankful for her being in her life. She brought a lot more joy and actually gave Ellie someone to do things with. Having to keep her a secret was a price she had to pay for a solid friendship. She didn’t want to give it up.
“Are you ready to go to bed, babe?” Dina wraps her arms around Ellie, and surprisingly, Ellie doesn’t feel the same warmth she usually does.
“I’ll join you after I wash this off and put it away.” Ellie motions to the dildo.
“Okay, but don’t take too long.” Dina frowns. Ellie doesn’t say anything as she moves to the bathroom to wash off the disinfectant. ‘Why didn’t I feel anything? The same thing happened earlier during sex. I was in the mood at first and then it kind of fizzled out.’ She sighs to herself, drying off the toy before heading out and tucking it into a silk bag. As she’s putting it into the drawer, her phone starts ringing and makes her curse. Ellie slams the drawer shut, whirling around and rushing to answer whoever’s calling when she sees the little bee emoji. ‘Abby? Shit, why is she calling so late?!’ She sees Dina glaring out of the corner of her eye as she answers it.
“Abs?” Ellie is immediately going to her room door, “Is everything okay?”
“I’m outside your house. Put on your shoes 'cause we’re going for a drive.” Abby says, “Bring your wallet, too. Tell Dina you’ll be back in two hours.” Ellie pauses, going into her closet instead of through the door.
“You know it's 1 am, right?” Ellie snorts, shoving her feet into her crocs.
“I’m well aware. Wear your crocs, we’re going to our spot.” Abby hangs up, before Ellie can reply so she shoves her phone into her pocket. She could feel the dread in her as she leaves the closet and sees Dina’s glare once again. Ellie swallows hard and tries to calm herself down as she opens her mouth to speak.
“I’m heading out with Abby. It’s an emergency. I’ll be back in two hours!” Ellie says as she opens the door and runs out before Dina can respond. ‘I’m so screwed when I come back. I’ll be lucky to go to bed without an argument tonight,’ She sighs to herself but perks up at the thought of seeing her best friend. Abby’s car is waiting in the driveway by the main house, and Ellie runs over and hops into the car. She and Abby grin at each other as she puts her seatbelt on and they pull out of the driveway. They don’t say anything until they’re on the main road and a good distance from the house.
“So why are you picking me up so late?” Ellie questions, turning to look at her friend.
“We need to talk.” Abby responds, briefly glancing at her, “Like, seriously need to talk. That’s why we’re going to the lake. It’s the quietest place to talk and Dina doesn’t know where we hang out so even if she comes looking for us, she won’t find us.”
“Something tells me this is about Dina.”
“Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner!” Abby grins. It takes a bit of time to get to the lake but in ten minutes, they’re getting out of the car. Abby grabs a thick blanket from the trunk of her car, and the two of them start walking to the lake. The only light they have is from their phones, but it’s enough for them to get where they’re going. When they find their regular area, they lay out the blanket and Abby drops a wooden box onto the ground. Ellie grins and opens it, pulling out the blunts that they rolled last week. She lights one and eagerly takes a drag before offering it to Abby.
“Go ahead and say what you’ve gotta say.” Ellie sighs, leaning against her friend.
“I know you have a crush on Y/n.” Abby pokes her, making Ellie jolt in surprise.
“What?! I don’t have a crush on Y/n!” Ellie denies.
“Don’t lie to me, Miller. I know you. You’ve been talking to me about Y/n instead of Dina and don’t think I didn’t notice the new bracelet on your arm.” Abby scoffs, “You’re head over heels for her.” Ellie’s gaze goes down to her arm where the bracelet sits on its own. Ever since she got it, she didn’t want to take it off unless she had to. The meaning behind it meant a lot to her. But crushing on Y/n? She didn’t want to admit it, but now that Abby pointed it out… she was. Things with Dina just didn’t feel the way they used to and granted that still wasn’t the best. Then, Y/n showed up. This tall, mysterious woman caught her interest the moment she saw her. She was the reason Ellie couldn’t sleep that night, uncomfortable with the way Dina had reacted toward her. After having that conversation, Ellie couldn’t get enough of her.
“Shit.” Ellie curses, sighing before she takes the blunt, “I am into Y/n. Really into Y/n.”
“Wait, did you not realize this?” Abby snickers.
“No. Not until you pointed it out.” Ellie inhales, taking another puff, “What the fuck do I do?”
“Leave Dina.” Abby says bluntly, “She’s controlling and overbearing. Leave her and go after the woman you want.”
You were running around your kitchen and trying to get everything set up before Ellie got here. Late last night, she asked if she could come over for dinner and you agreed. You knew how much she likes your eggplant parmesan, so you ran to the grocery store to get the things you needed for it. You also grabbed some oreo mousse from the bakery and blushed when you realized why you were doing this. In the back of your mind, you tried to remind yourself that it was only for a friend but you knew you were lying to yourself. And when you heard the doorbell ring, you nearly jumped out of your skin. With a deep breath, smoothing down your skirt, you head to the door and give Ellie a bright smile. Ellie was dressed in a way you’d never seen before. She was wearing a button-up with the first three buttons undone that’s showing some of her chest and partially tucked into her jeans. You swallow, feeling a little tongue-tied at her appearance as you try to fight a blush.
“Hey...” You breathe out, internally cursing at yourself.
“Hey.” Ellie gives you a nervous smile, “Can I come in?”
“Yeah! Yeah, come on in.” You get out of the way and let her inside. Ellie slips off her converses and the two of you head into the living room. You were still nervous about what you were going to say to her. How do you approach someone about their girlfriend? ‘This is crazy. I feel like I should have texted her about this instead, but this isn’t a text conversation. Ahhh, let this go by quickly! Damn Jesse for spending the night at Addison’s!’
“I cooked eggplant parmesan since I knew you were going to come over after patrol.” You smile at her, walking into the kitchen. Ellie watches you as you plate the food, her gaze on you a little more intense than you’re used to. It makes you feel a little self-conscious, glancing down at your outfit before you’re handing her a plate. The two of you sit at the dining table, sharing a shy glance before you’re digging into your food. Maybe it was nerves or the growing tension between the two of you, but you don’t speak a word to each other. You go through the whole meal without talking until you’re taking the plates to the sink.
“So, um…” Ellie clears her throat, “What did you want to talk about?”
“Ah… I wanted to ask you about your relationship. A-About how you and Dina are doing?” You ask, your back turned as you wash the dishes so you don’t see her startled look.
“Dina and I…? I actually broke up with her last night.” Ellie tries to say casually but you can hear the shakiness in her voice. You nearly drop the plate in your hands when she says that. Your heart pounds as you put it into the drying rack. ‘They broke up last night? Why? Is Ellie okay?’
“Are you okay? What happened?” You turn and look at her as you dry your hands.
"Dina and I got into a huge fight.” Ellie sighs, “I was out with Abby and she blew up on me when I got back. Dina didn’t like when I hung out with other people, especially when she was with me. She was just… very controlling in that aspect. She wanted it to be just her and I. And I couldn’t take it anymore.”
“I’m so sorry you went through that Ellie.” You hug her and she rests her head against your shoulder, “Why don’t we grab the dessert and go up to my room to relax?”
“That’s fine with me.” Ellie nods, stepping out of your arms. You feel a little sad that she’s not in your arms anymore, but you grab the large container of mousse and two spoons. Ellie takes the spoons from you, grabs your hand and you hear a soft click as the charms connect. You feel your cheeks heat up at the warm feeling of her hand in yours. The two of you head up to your room, tossing the beanbags to the foot of the bed and snuggling up on them. You turn the television on, go onto Netflix and search for a movie to watch. Your heart is still pounding in your chest and you bite your lip. ‘She just broke up with Dina. I shouldn’t tell her that I’m into her… but I want to so badly. I want her to know that I like her as more than a friend.’
“Hey, Y/n? I have something else to say.” Ellie pops the container open and scoops out a generous amount of the mousse before turning to you, “I have a crush on you.” She shoves the spoon into her mouth and your eyes go wide. ‘She took the words out of my mouth.’
“That makes this so much easier!” You start laughing, “I have a crush on you, Ellie! I just didn’t want to say anything because you were in a relationship.”
“Well, shit! I was nervous for nothing then!” Ellie laughs with you.
“Why don’t we take this slow?” You offer, “You just got out of a relationship, and I don’t want to force you into a new one.”
“That’s fine with me.” Ellie nods, “But I do want cuddles from you.” You giggle and the two of you snuggle up with each other and become engrossed in the movie. At some point, you shyly asked Ellie if you could feed her some of the mousse and she let you. She asked if she could do it to you in return and you happily agreed. You were feeling fuzzy, but content with the fact that your feelings were out in the open. Ellie’s hand finds yours and your fingers intertwine, turning your attention to the tattoo on her arm. You smile and gently trace the lines of Ellie’s tattoo, paying close attention to the leaves of the ferns and admiring it.
“Can I see yours?” Ellie asks softly. You meet her eyes, thinking it over a bit.
“Yeah, but um I’d have to take my bra off to show you the whole piece.”
“T-That’s okay with me if it’s comfortable with you.” Ellie blushes.
“I’m okay with it.” You chuckle, “Come on.” You get off the bean bags, take your shirt off and toss it onto the end of your bed. With a flick of your fingers, your bra unhooks and you place it on top of your shirt. You lay down on the bed, guiding Ellie to sit next to you and she gets to see the entirety of your tattoo. Silently, you watch as she reaches out and shiver when her fingers caress beneath your breast.
“It’s so delicate.” Ellie whispers, her finger gliding over the thin lines and tickling you. You can’t help but get lost in the way it looks like she has a halo of light around her. ‘I know we’re supposed to be taking this slow, but her lips look so kissable.’
“Els?” You whisper, waiting for Ellie to meet your eyes before you speak, “Can I kiss you?”
“What happened to taking it slow?” Ellie smiles in amusement.
“You had to look so kissable.” You playfully pout. Ellie chuckles, but leans down and kisses you. It's sweet and tender with her hand resting on your side. Her lips are chapped and slightly rough against yours but you didn’t mind. If anything, it drove home that you were kissing Ellie and it wasn’t a dream. A thought pops into your mind and you break the kiss, stretching over to stick your hand into your bedside drawer.
“What are you doing?” Ellie raises an eyebrow. You grin at her as you pull out your chapstick, popping it open and putting some on your lips.
“I thought you needed some chapstick.” You giggle, grabbing her by her shirt and pulling her into another kiss. You’d be taking this relationship slowly, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t share a few kisses here and there.
Hi! Can you write an Ellie x reader where Ellie gets mad at fem reader because of a little fight they had over something super stupid and reader is upset and apologizing but Ellie yells at her causing her to break down but Ellie is stubborn. Maybe the reader has partrol and almost dies and Ellie is super sad she didnt forgive you and its a soft fluffy ending? (Sorry for my english if its not understandable)
━ 𝐀𝐑𝐆𝐔𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄
𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜(𝙨) - Ellie Williams x Fem!Reader
𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 - Cursing, angst, blood descriptions, ellie being mean, yelling, insults ( mostly to ellie ), sadness, pain descriptions, reader getting shot, mentions of pain drugs, fluff, happy ending
𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 ? - Yeah/Nope
𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧'𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚 - i hate the ending!?!?!?!?! that you for the rq! have an amazing day
REBLOGS ARE VERY APPRECIATED
"I'm sorry." You murmured quietly, looking down at your hands as she continued roughly shoving things into her backpack. "I didn't know that it would upset you." "I just wanted five fucking seconds of peace before we had to leave."
Your mouth snapped closed instead of apologizing once more, standing quietly behind her with your bag on your shoulders. Looking down at your boots finding the dirt and water stains on them much more interesting.
"You could've just asked for some space I didn't know–" "You never know! You don't fucking ask!" She hurriedly zipped the bag, throwing the strap around her shoulder.
"We should go." Ellie said sharply "Okay.." It was awkward as she brushed passed you, the sounds of her boots being the only sound besides your shaky breathing in the room.
"I didn't mean to make you upset." Ellie huffed, all but ripping open the front door but didn't say a word walking out and leaving you to shut it. Following after her, you noticed how fast she was walking practically running away from you.
Once she got to the gate she yanked it open not even bothering to push it open for you allowing it to slam in your face.
"I'm sorry, can we please just talk about it for a second." The girl ignored you once more only making you sadder. "Please Ellie, I don't want to go out there mad at each ot–" "Just shut the hell up already!" You stopped walking, staring at her still moving form that slowly blurred with your tears that began to brim in your eyes.
You could feel people's eyes on you, but you refused to look. Afraid of what you'd see.
Instead of continuing though, Ellie turned to look at you, seeing the mix of emotions on your face. But the main one was shock, then there was the sad, staring at her like she'd just ripped your heart out and stomped on it right in front of you.
"Y/n–" You walked right past her, choking back your very audible sobs as you walked. Keeping your head down the entire time, avoiding everyone's stares as you made your way to the front gate where Dina and Jesse had been waiting on you both.
Dina had fought for you four to get this days trip together, claiming it would be more fun and more efficient. But Maria was always reluctant when it came to you guys. It was lucky you'd gotten it at all thanks to Joel who argued on your behalf.
You couldn't even be excited anymore though, only ashamed and sad. Wanting nothing more to hide in bed and cry. You felt so stupid.
"Hey slowp– what's wrong?" Dina's voice went from excited to concerned in a matter of a millisecond. "Nothing, m'fine." Dina stared at you as you walked by turning to a still frustrated Ellie after you'd gotten far enough away.
"What the fuck did you do to her?"
"Why do you assume I did something?"
"Because Y/n doesn't cry over nothing, Ellie." Jesse answered for her, turning around to walk towards you. Standing close to the gate, wiping your tears away while trying to calm yourself down.
"Hey." "I don't want to talk about it." "Alright, that's cool." He nodded, grabbing your shoulder making you look at him with your sad eyes. "Jesus Y/n." "M'sorry." You shook your head while he did the same, pulling you in for a hug. "Nothin' to be sorry for, c'mon we can walk out together."
"She's just a dick." You huffed, wiping your face. "A big one." You laughed slightly, watching Ellie and Dina pull their horses from the stalls.
"You wanna ride with me?" He then asked while you shook your head, wiping the wetness from your face once more. "No, I'm fine." "You sure?" You looked into his unsure eyes and nodded with a wobbly smile. "All good. But I'm not talking to her." "I don't blame you."
You both walked back to Dina and Ellie, Dina now visibly upset while Ellie avoided your eyes.
"Are you riding with Jesse?" Dina asked, glaring down Ellie while you shook your head with a light laugh. "No, it's okay." Dina huffed but allowed you to climb up on the back of Shimmer, Ellie sitting in front of you.
It was almost as if she waited for your hands and arms to tightly wrap around her waist. Hugging her close as per usual, no matter how hot it was you were always laid up against her back with your face squished against her shirt telling her about the different things you'd see that she couldn't catch.
But the feeling never came.
Her waist sitting empty as you guys began your journey towards a nearby neighborhood that bandits usually claimed. But lately it had seemed totally empty, bodies stringing about so Tommy had decided to send a few scouts out, the scouts being you guys.
Take a look around. That's all you had to do. Then hit everything you could on the way back, as Jackson was running low and they needed everything they could get. Simple as that, just a days run.
Scout and Scavenge.
Simple as that.
Over the course of the ride you ran over everything that had occurred earlier, missing the way Ellie would turn and glance over her shoulder at you. Seeing how you'd sniffle as you thought over every interaction you had with the girl before you left.
But something about it couldn't bring her to say sorry.
As much as the words rested on the tip of her tongue, they died out everytime she parted her mouth to speak.
Choosing silence instead.
"Hey, look ahead." It looked like smoke, clouding up from the houses. Peeking from around Ellie's body you stared at it confused.
"Didn't they say it was empty?" "Basically, with a shit ton of bodies to compliment it." Jesse replied, staring up at the steady stream of black smoke rising into the air.
"Do you think it's still burning?" "It is. Black is burning, white means it's out." Jesse laughed and turned to you. "How do you know that?" You met his eyes, shrugging. "Joel taught me." Jesse made a noise, sticking his bottom lip out while nodding.
"Do we still wanna go in?" "It could've been lit hours ago and still be burning." Dina then said, seeing you nod from the corner of her eye.
"We should leave the horses and go closer if it looks bad then we turn around and skip town." You then muttered, staring nervously at the smoke. "Yeah, let's do it." Ellie agreed, turning to look at you but your eyes were locked on the steady air rising up slowly turning gray as time went.
Sliding off of Shimmer you let Ellie hide her while Jesse did the same with Japan. Both you and Dina taking off towards the neighborhood with them following.
"You got a bad feeling about this?" "I didn't when I said it, but yeah, a little bit." You walked quietly, trying her best to ignore the holes being burned into the back of your head, Jesse and Dina quietly talking back and forth to cut the awkward silence.
"Something doesn't feel right about this." Ellie then muttered, mostly in the open air in hopes you'd reply to her comment, just a small 'yeah' would of been enough.
But nothing passed your lips, barely even noticing that she spoke. A deep gut feeling entering your stomach is what you were focusing in on.
The street looked abandon from what you could see through the trees interrupting most of it along with the high weeds and grass. It was overgrown and had plenty of places to hide, which is exactly why you guys stood so far back.
"Guys we should go back."
"Dina's right–"
You all heard it before you realized what was happening.
A loud pop, boom over however you want to describe it.
Then all eyes were on you, and at first you didn't understand why until you felt it.
The pain.
It was like it exploded, slowly looking down at your blood soaked hip when you were ripped backwards, hand hovering over the red that soaked your shirt.
Then someone grabbing you and ripping you to the floor, holding you close to their body. But everything felt like blur.
The noise around you was muffled, looking around as the time seemed to slow to a stop. Your eyes landing on the wound once more when it finally hit you, as much as it could anyway.
"What's happening?" You choked out, everything seemingly speeding up as gunshots rang through the air making you look around. Terrified at the amount of people you seen hiding around the houses and trees.
"Hey, stay awake alright?" You looked up at Ellie, holding your bloody hip with one hand and laying you down with the other. "I can't feel anything." "You're in shock." Dina then said coming over with her sweater tying it around your waist. "You have to keep pressure on it Ellie." "I can't– oh fuck– fuck!" "Breathe Ellie."
You looked around, the world seeming much brighter than before, the sun beating down on you. You felt hot, but it was cool today, and that's all you could think about until a hand rested on your cheek your eyes suddenly on hers.
"Ellie?" "You're gonna be okay, stay still." You stared at her confused, eyes traveling back down to the amounts of blood soaking through your clothes and Dina doing what she could to stop it and she seen the shock that entered your gaze.
The terror.
"Hey, look at me." Her hand shook your head getting your eyes to flicker back to hers. "It hurts..." "We have to get you back babe." You shook your head not quite understanding what was happening.
"She's delirious." Dina stated earning a look from Ellie, which she didn't understand until you began freaking out. "No m'not, let me go. What's happening?" You tried sitting up only for Ellie to stop you, "take it easy." "I wanna go home Ellie."
You began to cry, forgetting why you were upset with her and forgetting the entire argument. Reaching out for her to hold you, though as much as she wanted to sit there and comfort you she knew you didn't have a lot of time.
"Jesse I need your help."
The entire way back to the horses went by so fast you weren't even sure how you'd gotten there. Clutching onto Ellie's belt loops while pressed into her chest, the girl too worried you'd fall off sitting behind her.
You moved, feeling the warm blood trickling down your side and soaking against your jeans. Pushing your face from her shirt and looking up to her with big tear-filled eyes.
"I'm sorry." It was like she didn't hear you though, dead set on getting home. If you weren't so out of it you would've noticed the fear in her eyes and the way she bit her lip to the point it bled. Or the way she tightly held onto your body so you didn't fall over and hit the ground.
By the time the group made it back to Jackson you'd passed out. The blood dripping off your leg and onto the cement the entire way to the medic house.
And the entire way Joel carried you, Ellie only stared, seeing you disappear in the distance. Covered in red, her white shirt crimson soaked, and it was all yours, and it was her fault.
At least that's what she believed.
"Hey." Was the first thing you heard when you woke up, soft and delicate. Just like every morning when you'd hear it muttered into your ear.
"What happened?" You muttered, rubbing your eyes and squirming around the bed you were laid in. "You got shot." "Oh." You said quite simply making her laugh under her breath. "It hurts a little." "You're on a lot of drugs." She laughed, "They had to dig it out of your hip."
You looked at her with big eyes, a beat of silence passing in the room.
"There was a bullet inside me?"
She chuckled a bit, seeing you smile and grab at her hand messing with her fingers.
"Yeah." "That's scary." "You're telling me."
It was quiet for a moment, your soft breathing the only thing left in the room while you messed with the pads of her fingers. Tapping each one before looking up at her.
"You were mean to me." "I know." Her voice was soft, staring at you will tears in her eyes. "Are you sorry?" "Yeah." "Look at me."
Ellie slowly moved to look into your eyes, your hand coming up to rest on her chin keeping her head up.
"I'm sorry.." You pouted as she began to cry, a few tears falling down her freckled cheeks. "Don't cry El." You wiped away the stray tears from her cold face, kissing the very tip of her nose.
"I'm okay now." You smiled, pressing your forehead against hers. "But you owe me big time." "I know."
"I love you Ellie. Even when you're so damn stubborn and argumentative and a dick."
"Geez, got anymore insults?" "A shit ton." "I deserve it." "Only some of them."
I — synopsis: God forbid you ever fell into the hands of Ellie Williams in the bright eyes of a groggy morning. Or invite it, perhaps. Either one is charming enough to send a flurry down your spine.
II — warnings: female shy reader, confident and whipped ellie, fluff, no explicit smut but insinuating facets of it at the start + kinda sensual but mostly just physical comfort but ellie is a tease, has some mentions of insecurity on reader’s end but its minor.
III — a/n: this actually took such little time that i’m a bit embarrassed. it’s so messy and gross and COMPLETELY all over the place. i wanted it to take foot into a different route but i thought ending it like this was nice enough. i hope. yeah. yeah? yeah. hm. let me know if you like this, i would love your comments. i love any feedback. ALSO a little note but i wrote ellie to be a little tanned due to missions, ergo “honey kissed” blah blah, so yeah. if ur confused, there’s that! also this was shamelessly inspired by wanna be yours by AM. caution be thrown in the wind. woe is i.
IV — word count ~ 2.3K
Ellie was your malediction.
She was the countless nebulas and orbs taunting your vision, making it hard to descry right from wrong. From left and right, from black and white. It alarmed you, as would anything that would come in the framework of the auburn haired girl — but her touch was one thing you couldn’t steer clear from, even if it was painted in buckets of liability. You quite liked the fireworks solvating you inside and out.
“Don’t miss me too much”, she’d whisper, when words felt like too much of a peeve, when her fingers would cavort across the warmth of your skin, which was already gleaming for her to just touch you.
“Already miss me, pretty girl?”, she’d chuckle into the canvas of your neck, heavy and flush against your torse when she’d want to get impossibly close to your skin, wanting to take advantage of the way you coiled into the scope of her body — breath beating incessantly against her cheek.
“Of course you missed me”, she’d practically carve the words into the scraggy sheen of sweat on your chest, lips bruising the sloppy skin with sincere words. Until the words washed you over again and again and again — a circle, a pandemonium you couldn’t rid yourself of.
This morning couldn’t be more similar, even if you tried for it to be.
When you awoke, you weren’t sure which colours your eyes first caught, keeping your senses peeled on the prickling sensation of tough-skinned fingers guarding your hips, stationary with every breath you took. They had been caked with mud just months ago, bathed in blood that smothered you to pieces but now, they were sallow, kisses of gingerly placed freckles dotting the rough skin — it felt calloused but commonplace.
Routinely, it was Ellie who normally woke you up before duty called. But on this particular day, you were met with the blinding titillation of the sun first instead, groaning softly when you realised you were caged by her cosmic grasp — her snores failed to alert you of her awakening any time soon.
“Mn, Ellie…” you whisper, feeling apologetic to wake her up after scrutinising every rise and fall of her chest, paying close attention to the measured rhythms that strummed against the supple flesh of your back. It felt strange, even after all these months, to feel so incredibly shy under every minuscule morning breath of hers; yet here you lay, melted in her ivory grasp, flesh touching hers and in a way you could have never imagined.
“Ellie, wake up”, you repeat, expecting gold but hitting rock when she doesn’t budge against the incredible volume of your whisper — she’s winsome but one element of the girl that riddled you the most was her ability to sleep things out without waking up through it, not until an anvil dropped at her head. Even now, her breath didn’t stagger and her arms lay flaxen against the pivot of your arm and elbow, grazing the indents with heat.
“Ellie”, you repeat, barely drawling your words anymore, instead, it’s chasmic with impatience when her breath is steady, mites running across the odd hairs on your back — you don’t turn, don’t speak, at-least for a while, soaking in the obsolete air of her arms, which harrow into you, with much invited love. As much as you loved to bask in her shadow, you knew that Ellie was a one minded person who saw no qualms for the things or people she loved, ultimately being her shortcoming or, perhaps, her strength. And coupled with those brawny hands, you knew you would indulge in you for hours before putting a stop to her chambré glances — getting dressed, grabbing her bag and what not.
“Ellie, you have to get up”, you nudge once, then twice and then poke the honey kissed limbs of hers and she finally groans. You don’t see an endpoint in sight, at least not for a while, till she shifts into the plush sinew of your back, and though she’d done this countless of times when she was somnolent, there was a new meaning behind those soft grazes and the heavy weight of her wide spread fingers drawing fixed circles into your thigh. She’s finally conscious and she’s quite unbreakable when she is.
“Baby…?” her voice is unruly, guttural with all the emotions you cannot find coherent; of course, your heart jumps with the gravel texture of her words and she notices when your ears flame a foxier colour of the one before — she’s had you in the palm of her hand several times before, smiling, laughing, squirming. Stroking, nudging, pushing and pulling. But this — this, she admits, is one of her favourites. When you’re placed on the hem of every limb of hers, so out of reach but smelling, feeling and definitely looking so good, within the innards of her reach but still seeming like a dream.
Ellie loved it.
“Naughty girl, why are you so shy?” she teases and every groan that’s held in your heart spills in ghostly wisps of air, sighing when she rubs your skin in her comfortable grasps, ones you could never replicate, no one could. They were numbing with the tepidity of an autumn intrusiveness, but so, so warm that you wouldn’t mind if she ripped the blankets right off the two of you, as long as those reigns of vein would hold you so tight — like you were going to escape her.
You crunch under her gaze, like a poorly made sand castle and groan delightfully when your muscles relax against her, “‘M sorry that you make me so nervous, miss Williams”, you move your hands to grip hers, that still with her confusion when your body shifts, moving left, nudging right and you’re facing her.
If she could summarise this moment in simple words — but that could never be accomplished because you were enigma to her that could only be expressed in the most convoluted of words but she tried — you were her star. Her kettle. Her emotions. Her hands, tongue, feet. You were her bare essentials, her breath when she toothily grins at you and it’s almost enough to sway your heart, almost, if not for her hands snaking into impish slithers up your thigh and you don’t even stop her — yet she stops right near your hip, just still. Stationary.
She drags her eyes to your neck.
“Sleep well?” she’s distracted, and you know it.
“As always” you play along, running a warm hand down her face, stroking the inch of eye bags that paint her skin, but they seem better than months prior, so you tincture her skin with your touch, under her lip, her nose and certainly her jaw. She’s tense, in some way. Or another. You can’t tell.
“Mm, what about you?” she’s all dry bones when you raise you voice again, scuttling within your touch and you swear you see a brush of red beneath those hearty freckles of hers, but you don’t know whether to poke, prod or hang still till she surrenders.
“Good, good” she lies. You can tell, partly due to her intermittent gaze that flows right through your irises, and partly due to the way the silence drags on even more. There’s more. She wants to say more. You know, because the taste is leaving something clumsy on your tongue that you decipher as half-assed fear, something that produced itself in the self conceived theory that Ellie was getting sick of you. Fully. Completely. You’re staring at her. She’s looking back, focused. You’re scared. But then, the taste slicks into sweetness and you breath her in like yesterday’s perfume when she kisses you, soft and unbecoming, like a rose.
“Sorry, I just… I just needed to…” she’s embarrassed. She’s kissed you into a blushing mess and she’s embarrassed. She’s a crocodile, fierce and pulsing. She’s a cloud, soft and unbecoming under your touch, hell, your gaze. You attempt to chase the mist until it comes undone completely.
“You’re too cute sometimes” you curve into a grin, literally, as your body beams at her. And she beams back, exasperated because she just can’t get enough, can she?
“Sometimes?” she grins, a Cheshire cat, too far for something fake. She’s genuine and she’s stretching you, so far past your limits, that you’re tearing. Creasing. Going molten. You decide to stop thinking before you melt.
“Other times you’re like a volcano” the sheets buck against your foot when she sits up, resting wearily against the headboard and you do the same, but the difference is that you scoot down further down the board, shoulders scratching hers. You don’t notice it.
“Angry?” she panics. She’s like an ocean, so easy to read, and right now, she’s open. The light that pours through the window hits the headboard, the sheets and pinballs onto her face and god, she’s never looked more beautiful.
“Hot”, you work to joke lightly, rolling your eyes when she sighs in relief. She moves closer, if that was even possible, and cups a space on your shoulders when her right arm slings around you, bruising the skin with that same old familiar balminess, “Does that make you the core of the earth then?”
You look over to the bed-side clock whilst Ellie breathes you in mindlessly, glass split beautifully like cobwebs on the surface but working just as fine as the day Ellie had stuffed it into her bag, after you wordlessly eyed it through an empty store on a lookout. It had been an eccentric shade of maroon, and also with hand painted flowers all over the sides, back, creases, when you last saw it months ago. Now, it was easily a duller shade, more a light claret and nearly every painted flower looked like a dot, a star in the galaxy. The hands pointed to 9AM, leaving you a time bracket of an hour before any changing, packing or leaving must be done; Maria was crisp with her regimen and her coffee, and if you knew any better, you ought to be on time. But the voice of reason was no longer there, because Ellie’s lips on your neck had killed the instinct.
Normally, you would’ve chose to usher her away in a fit of giggles, enjoyed to watch her slouch all the way to the bathroom to wash up, but your body was alarmingly cold, had been. But with her lips against any inch of your skin, the tantalising heat covered the canvas, and there you were, falling and falling and falling like a snowstorm in the svelte burn of a winter outside, “Ellie”, you breathe.
It’s dangerous, she’s dangerous, her lips are dangerous, sweetly producing sounds just as sweet that you feel embarrassed — rightfully so, because her mouth blends with your neck, the back of your neck, your shoulder blade, and she’s thoroughly melting into you. So abysmally slow, like a static volcano, magma inert. “Y/N”, she breaths, but adds more unlike you, “you’re beautiful”.
Beautiful. Right. She says that a lot. And you? You malfunction, for fucks sake. Your breath? Trapped in your throat. Your hands? Wedged at your sides, where you can’t visibly see but feel as they’re crinkled with profound confusion — no, anticipation, for her chapped lips to score against your ear roughly but she stops. Stops. Fucking stops. You want to be annoyed, you want to cutely nerved to the point where she gives you want you wants. But she’s staring at you and you can almost smell the earth of her scent. You’re shy again.
She notices and grins, “An hour? I need more time” her grin widens. On occasion, Ellie would wilfully pick at your patience like petals on a flower, one at a time, licking her lips in concentration as she watched you get vexed, twisting and turning into dead ends, corrosive sanity draining at her toes when she plucked again. But not now. She’s staring into your eyes, genuine and naked, when she first told you she loved you.
Loved, not liked.
Loved.
It had been so foreign, you thought it was a joke. But Ellie was the last person to fiddle with your feelings for a stupid crumpled dollar and a dare, so you fell. Hard, fast, no chance of landing back on your feet, because you’re no cat. You’re hers. Hers. God, you’re hers, aren’t you?
“Hey”, Her rigid voice on your neck fills you with surprise again, ripping you out of your thoughts. “What are you thinking about?” she purses her lips, breathes you in, holds you like a halo all at once and it feels like a conflicting cycle. But you’re addicted. “About you”, you’re bold and she gives it to you, swiping a messy finger over the top of your hip. You jolt. She doesn’t. It’s monetary but sublime and you swear to not bite on your lip, but you’re only human.
Your steely teeth rub at your bottom lip when you’re nervous, sometimes you draw blood when you’re sure you’ll die. But now, you’re barely pulling it into the butterfly grip your teeth have on the bottom one. Cautious, it misreads as, but in such-and-such truth, you’re delicate in her embrace. Prone to break, shatter into fragments dressed to impair past relief.
But Ellie is careful today, at this minute. She stops. Stares. Stares some more and smiles.
“Come, let’s get ready”.
You don’t know what you expected but whatever she gives, you take. Whatever she touches, you grip. Whatever she breathes life into, it sure as hell always comes back to you — a circle. Undeniable. Unfathomable.
“Help me up then”, you fake a pout and she staggers into confusion, then realisation and then a fine line of giggles.
She’s yours. However many times she inked the words into your skin, however many times she painted her world with the colours of you.
