❀ qiyu, 25↑. enby, chinese american (they/them). gachikoi/riako soulbond to logos&anaxa
❀ personal blog. sporadic activity, mostly queue. more active on bsky/discord. please read carrd byf!
❀ longstanding hyperfixation on arknights. en & cn player. lore nut, sarkaz bias. not much else i'll post about, but i do have other interests i enjoy if brought up
❀ yume & oc x canon. generally non-sharing, specific boundaries here. if you'd like, you can read more about loverdie on my docsona's wiki carrd! (if it's down, that means it's getting updated-)
dni: proship, minors, if you already associate logos/anaxa with someone else or ship them in cc x cc pairings (tagged nsfw, but just to b safe).
finally put tgthr the breakdown of the double/hidden meanings in ataraxia's (anaxakisser ocsona) page
contains some amphoreus spoilers ⚠️
'the primordial sea embraces all life, devours all deserters'
all life came from the primordial sea &left it. so the devouring Is the embrace &vice-versa
'dreaming in its emptiness, a wait in chaos is a peaceful hunt'
i wanted a word play on 'a wait in chaos' implying you are the one waiting, the hunter VS 'await in chaos is a peaceful hunt', which turns you into the hunted. idk if i got it across v well tho it was the best i could do 😔
'a shapeless existence'
chaos &ananke, the cosmic serpent raxia is heavily based off, are both said to be shapeless. there's an achievement you get in-game for clearing the chapter you meet anaxa in: the shapeless god is the most visible of all things. ironically, the cosmic serpent of necessity is quite literally hiding in plain sight
'the primordial sea'
similarly, when you meet 'nous', the aeon that anaxa suspiciously has motifs of, the achievement you get is called 'the end is also the primordial chaos'
'the fate of new stars'
ananke is considered the mother of the 3 fate sisters, but that was just a neat tidbit that happened to align.
this word &the one below link to stellar jades &oneiric shards- which come from leviathans themselves (raxias distant descendants)
the description of stellar jades is the thing here: "some say that the lights are wishes of sentient beings. while insignificant &elusive, they did light up the pocket of sky around them, right?" which sounds a LOT like trailblazing/akivili's beliefs. akivimeow even says "there are many other little guys wandering through this cold, vast universe. i wanna do something for them. like teaching them to 'understand' &'build' the ability to get along with people, finding a family they can 'connect' with &ultimately living a happy life!"
now this then ties in very nicely to my idea that akivili was the one who took ataraxia in from the wilds &brought them aboard the express. another of akivimeow's lines "these little guys were born from chaos(‼️) but lucky for them, you were willing to take them in &give them a home to shelter from wind &rain." 🥺🥺🥺🥹🥹😭😭😭😭
'an ageless dream'
oneiric shard's description is: "crystallized lights floating in the sea of stars, pulsing with the residual dream of an ancient leviathan. everything of the old world turned in the end into candlelight that illuminates the darkness ahead." listen to me listen to me now what if the dreaming one was- &&still IS ataraxia?
now the colors in these sentences. the light blue (i'll use pink as substitute here) is to highlight the links to stellar jade/oneiric shards which have already been explained.
blue &white (i'll use purple as substitute here), however:
a shapeless existence from the cradle of chaos
a cosmic serpent from the primordial sea
born from necessity to the fate of new stars.
awoke from an ageless dream to find the universe born.
probably obvious by now that blue = ataraxia, all of these words are synonyms, essentially the same thing. the same thing for white/purple = the primordial chaos/sea. light blue/pink- the fate of new stars is an ageless dream + the lore implications that hsr universe is a loop 👀
now keeping that in mind, moving on:
the empty sea will one day reclaim what once departed
may the hunted &fallen drift amongst the snow
red = leviathans, the supposedly now extinct species. ataraxia eats them, inspo from kingsnakes, king cobras, other ophiophagus snakes, thus 'reclaiming what once departed'. the snow links to marine snow- the bits &pieces of stuff that includes corpses in the sea, except that sea is now cosmic
the empty sea will one day reclaim what once departed
ataraxia left the primordial chaos just like all the others. tying back to before, 'a wait in chaos is a peaceful hunt' = raxia hunting leviathans ++ 'await in chaos is a peaceful hunt' the chaos/sea waits patiently, knowing raxia will eventually return to its embrace/its maw- a 'peaceful' hunt
the scholar who named his ataraxia(hedonism) by his own hand defiantly asks, "by whose decree must I let go of a truth I found?"
obvs green = anaxagoras. he gave them the name ataraxia (they were nameless in every sense before, not thinking much of needing one). ataraxia is a state of mind/peace/stability sought after in ancient greek philosophy. also drawing lightly from epicureanism, which seeks achieving ataraxia in its goal of hedonism (tying it loosely to the fact that anaxa is a party animal) = anaxa named raxia his pleasure, his peace, &a piece of the ultimate truth of the universe that he seeks. an absolute love letter, utterly him, in one lone word; &he will Not let even the primordial chaos wrest them from him
this world is full of lies, so let us find what the truth is worth together.
"may the truths of the universe rest again in my hands."
the first line is from anaxa's drip marketing post, where he also scoffs &says he alone is the truth = he's telling raxia to find out what he's worth together
the 2nd line is from anaxas first text message to the player = he's saying "may ataraxia of the primordial chaos/sea rest again in my hands", another hint that he refuses to let them go, on top of his declaration that he'll grasp that ultimate truth, my insatiable scholar 🥺🥺
part 1: organizing some old ramblings to a friend abt atanaxa dynamic (dms were from around 3.3 release)
so anaxa &raxia r both ppl walking thru life letting go of things (anaxa lost his home, family, endured slander his whole life &sacrificed so much of himself on his path ++ raxia facing the remains of their species &coming to terms that nothing they once knew or remember will ever come alive again, walking a path with no foreseeable end) both of them accumulating an inexplicable loneliness in their silent losses
both believe their own way forward lies in solitude, but never downplay the bonds they have: holding out their hand to help others when they stumble, clearing obstacles others can't, pushing cherished ones forward, your confidant (anaxa's ingenium "If you have no one to talk to, then I will accompany you." 🤝 raxias "If you're struggling to stay afloat, to catch a breath, if you need me, I'm here.")
so when they realize they love e/o. would they simply embrace each other for a short while in mutual understanding before letting the other get left behind to the past? would the tenderness in their hearts allow that for each other? would they hold hands to move forward tgthr?
what if raxia extended a hand to anaxa to help him just like they would for any other friend of theirs (following welt &dan heng's trailblaze/companionship idealogy) &a familiar little fondness tinged w sadness. what if for anaxa, meeting raxia, wanting to tell them they have a right to walk forward w others or at least not b left behind like himself, wondering how to repay them for anything, helped lead up to his decision of "If the hardest thing you can attain is an 'always', allow me grant you an eternity in myself. (what if I walked w you on your unending path) (please let me b special to you)."
atanaxa each believe the other has the right &ability to break free, that it would b too miserable for the other to silently go to their ends. anaxa's is a little more stubborn denial "I don't want to see you end like that", raxia's is "If fate denies you a choice then I will carve it out for you".
mutual "I might be doomed but I refuse to let you be."
not rly going anywhere w this it's just can u imagine these 2 making out in a corner the moonlight can't quite reach w these thoughts in mind
part 2: organizing some old ramblings to a friend abt atanaxa (dms were from around 3.3 release)
the idea of. two ppl who only ever help others walk forward, silently accepting they would each perish alone in their own way, these two passing ships in the night, these two lonely ppl holding hands &walking tgthr AUUGHH
&by "passing ships in the night" i am SPECIFICALLY referring to amerigo vespucci &uss independence
anaxa meeting raxia at the grove asking who they are, but they didn't have a name at the time yet to introduce themselves w
later when anaxa realizes he's In Love &gave them the name ataraxia, the 1st time raxia introduces themselves to him w the name he gave them, his head is so full of "You're the most beautiful person in the world."
&& what if when down the line of a developed relationship, what if,, anaxa tells raxia "You are still the most beautiful truth in the universe." (implications that even if he loves the truth above all else, he perceives raxia as a truth... "...Please understand.")
thinkin bout raxia's name in cn having a 'xia' to match anaxa's cn nickname (那刻夏 / nà kè xià), esp since he's the one who named them- a super cute special touch he sneaks in there
when ppl call ataraxia "raxia", the 'xiá' used in this nickname is 暇: leisure, free time. it lines up w the meaning of the word ataraxia, unfettered &tranquil state of mind
but anaxagoras as always, insists on the full name. the 'xiá' he gave to ataraxia's full name is 遐: distant &long-lasting. it focuses more on raxia's identity as an ancient leviathan &ofc anaxa, loving his metaphors &imagery, layers meanings within. words it is used in include:
遐宣: "spread out faraway", referencing raxia leaving the distant primodial sea &traveling the cosmos
遐福: "long-lasting happiness", raxia's so long-lived that everything will eventually pass &they're either left behind or must carry on alone. this is anaxa's quiet little wish they could have some semblance of an "always"
遐志: "lofty ambitions", both abt anaxa's hopes that raxia may be a key to the universe's ultimate truth &his desire to give them something eternal- or rather, become someone eternal to them. "Wanting to rescue the doomed and resurrect wights." anaxa wants to be seen as more than an eventual blip in their life, it's clear he doesn't want to b forgotten, after all: "If this road is easy to walk, then future generations will not praise my name in piety."— Says his ambition. ++ doesn't want to die leaving things unfinished- anaxa had extensively thought abt his death, did everything he could for his close ones before he died &avoided the notion his ambitions would be his deathbed. he'll find a way to not leave raxia behind.
遐 apparently also means "long &big", nods to raxia's 8ft8in 18ft long tail self (btw did you know anaxa's eidolon names in cn r all 8 characters long?)
the final amount of my savings (+4 royal caster tokens) as cn ak goes into maintenance!! i still cant believe all my waiting comes home in a few more hours 🥹
cant stop thinking abt how logos is the only guy wearing white in skades 5th anni art, he is so Gender. hes fluid, hes nonconforming, he has a pussy he has a dick hes the wifeguy of all time
cant stop thinking abt how logos is the only guy wearing white in skades 5th anni art, he is so Gender. hes fluid, hes nonconforming, he has a pussy he has a dick hes the wifeguy of all time
