SEALAB 2021 SENTENCE STARTERS
FEEL FREE TO CHANGE PRONOUNS, SUBSTITUTE WORDS, ALTER SENTENCE STRUCTURE, ETC.
I’m not asking for your pity, and I don’t want your apologies. All I want is your understanding and acceptance. I’m asking for your friendship.
We’ll sell pot… holders… made of hemp.
There goes my nipples again!
It all comes down to the fact that you all have far more fast twitch muscle fiber.
No, I just got beat up a lot. So now when I get the chance I like to sucker punch people
Ah yes, loligo giganticus, with a razor sharp tentacle that can tear steel as easily as I tear a croissant. But at heart, he is a peaceful giant.
I said it’s dodgeball time, bitch.
You’re neither. You’re an errand boy, sent by grocery clerks, to collect a bill. SO WET WILLIE FOR YOU!
They told me that you had gone totally insane, and that your methods were unsound.
Oh, you know, mind blowing pain.
Your entire ass, just packed full of red hot coals?
Right to the rim, baby.
…can’t fix it laying down, baby.
There can be only NONE!
Smoke that bitch!
I am [name], SMOKER OF BITCHES!
What do you mean, what? There’s a throat that needs slitting, and we don’t know where to lay the blade!
That’s crap. Mars is wild, untamed. I’m forming a cadre of Martian knights charged with enforcing Martian law.
Under Martian law doctors and other wizards are forbidden!
I dub thee Sir [name], Knight of Mars, beater of ass. Be a hitter, babe.
Ah, [name], we hardly knew you, ya dead bastard!
T.V. God, I want porno bloopers!
You better find me that Happy Cake oven, or die trying. Hear that [name]? Die.
Dolphin meat! Dolphin meat! Nature’s greatest treat! Oh what fun, it is to eat That damn, damn dolphin meat!
That boy’s head is made of cheese!
That chill, my young non-friend, is probably the cold breath of the reaper breathing down your neck.
I will slaughter them like a wolf among lambs! The SEAS will run RED with the BLOOD OF MY ENEMIES!
Take it easy there Tamberlain, sir.
My breasts detect this one knows something.
Don’t expect any mercy during the great robot wars.
Your quest… is to find [name]’s ass! And then beat it!
Did you try *bleep*ing him in the *bleep*? Because that usually works.
I have the strength of a bear that has the strength of *two* bears!
Apparently they release it when they’re angry… or threatened… or just whenever.
No! Absolutely not! You are expendable. That oven is not!
Look, all I want is some sweet, new balls.
I don’t know; it’s French. It’s crap.
I forgot to mention, Happy Fun Time Island is filled with poisonous snakes.
I just don’t know if I want to live a thousand years. Even as an Adrienne Barbeau-bot.
Ooh, fun. I’ll be the mommy.
Attention all personnel: the black death is here. The great pestilence is finally upon us. Repent! Repent!
Well, as long as the baby doesn’t touch my stash.
If I want a steroid freak baby, I’ll call you.
Look, what’s done is done. There’s no reasoning with me.
Screw it! We’ve got bigger problems than a butter shortage.
Oh, that’s so sweet. I know how much you love dead babies.
Do you want the moustache on or off?
You have five seconds to be on your mark and in wardrobe, or I will personally climb inside your abdominal cavity and make a little house in there for my dogs to play in!
It’s not a toy. It makes real cupcakes, with a 40 watt bulb, and there’s icing packets. But the secret ingredient is love. Damn it.
Respek knuckles.
Pudding can’t fill the emptiness inside me! But it’ll help.
Just try to calm down, go have some pudding.
[singing like Louie Armstrong] And I think to myself, I need exact change.
How could a giant penis be hurtling toward earth?
