For When Thou Wouldst Like The Taste Of Butter @yearofhedonism - Tumblr Blog

The combo of “I’ve been rewatching Archer” and “tonight’s a lunar eclipse” means yr current hedonism is to get drunk on Mellon Balls until the moon disappears.

yearofhedonism

I just noticed that this post refers to melon balls spelled a) as god intended b) like Carnegie Mellon and c) Merlin balls

yearofhedonism

Just thinking about merlin balls

Between new romance stuff and a new position at work, I think my brain is freaking out a bit. Feeling “run” signals, but it feels like the “run” signals I got the first times I went to my dance place. Over time, my brain chilled out and saw that I was safe, but dancing still felt really scary at first

#I get frustrated at doing new scary things — who keeps putting me in these situations?#It’s me. I’m doing it to myself #And it’s usually extremely good? or at the worst weird and then I GTFO and have a good story

They text to ask who is my favorite character on Heated Rivalry.

Who is my favorite character on Heated Rivalry?

You. You are my favorite character. It doesn’t even make sense, but it’s true.

#I said the story arch of Kip and Scott’s relationship #But the answer is them

yearofhedonism

Recreational drug use can be cool, because seeing these top three picks on HBO sparked a thesis about us living in a modern Weimar Germany.

#also I saw someone in a black and white motorcycle jacket walk into my work as I was leaving #And my heart STOPPED #In a very homosexual manner

Man, oh man, I do not want to play it cool with this person. And also, I’m recognizing that if I am in Heated Rivalry, I am Scott Hunter.

#I’m gonna say a bunch of things ok #And I’m too intense I know everyone tells me that #He just gets paid way better

Recreational drug use can be cool, because seeing these top three picks on HBO sparked a thesis about us living in a modern Weimar Germany.

#I’m kinda right tho #three have queer protagonists #two include kink #One explores modern sex work #And none in a judgey way

I kissed them :)

#The story of how it harkened is really cute #And involves me swiftly striding back across the parking lot #And an unexpected podcast playback at 2x #And a bat

I’m feeling feelings about one of the people I’ve been out with. Gay, sparkly feelings.

It’s way too early to say anything about “a relationship” or even “dating”, but I’m really enjoying the excitement of realizing you like someone and realizing they seem to like you too

#It’s delicious #noticing that I’m trying to play it cool feels so fucking good #I used to enjoy falling for someone but was also incredibly scared and anxious in those early potential relationship moments #feeling the yearning and pull and excitement without fear is next level #My marriage was about to end at this time of year in 2019 and I had no idea how much better life could get

My second date with a man (since becoming one myself) is going to a gay sports bar called The Tight End to watch our hockey team in the playoffs.

#sometimes Heated Rivalry happens to you #I know I asked the universe where my Scott and/or Kip were #and I’m pleased with the on the nose response

Watching the new Wuthering Heights. Between that and Heated Rivalry, HBO content feels like it’s coming for my bisexuality with these “I want to be your Kip, I want to be your Heathcliff” feelings

#I don’t know why HBO became terminally horny but I have zero complaints #when I read Wuthering Heights in high school I hadn’t yet had an orgasm OF COURSE I didn’t get it

Went on an ice cream date with another man — first date with a dude since my ex-husband eons ago, when *I* wasn’t a man. Fittingly, saw this sticker in the bathroom

#I got ice cream with chocolate covered potato chips and it was so good #they also had a big ass rainbow flag that said y’all means all #I picked the place because it had good ice cream not knowing how fucking gay it was #there was also a rainbow crosswalk outside?#I think of that neighborhood as being kinda edgier with dive bars and little concert venues #I didn’t know it was the heaven so fags go to

I’m giving online dating a shot. It is just as hell scape as I remembered, AND ALSO guys I think are cute who also think I am cute is a massive ego boost

#I promise I’m bi #Men being into me as a man of just the novel bit #And who doesn’t love a bit o novelty?

My friend brought me a slice of cake with blueberry compote and oolong syrup and holy shit it’s delicious. I think life might be ok.

#I am SO MUCH happier than I have been any time in the past…. however many years #I still have frankly bullshit classist anxiety that pops up from working a quote unskilled labor unquote job #And yet

I’ve been low key flirting with a guy I work with (low key in the way I *think* we’re flirting and not just being nice?) and it’s the first time I’ve done this since I started passing. I was dating/married to a man for over a decade before figuring out gender and sexuality and flirting with a man as a man is absolutely delicious

#flirting is baseline fun #And my workplace is hella gay #AND ALSO gay flirting as a gay man with a gay man feels subversive #and a dude who’s into dudes flirting with me because I’m a dude makes me dizzy in the best possible way #Gender affirming as fuck

theshitpostcalligrapher

req'd by @firapolemos05

I'm doing my best

text: Summon courage into your heart and blood into your penis

#I saw Angels in America last night for the first time in many many years and boy does this feel relevant #boner means the angel is coming #and so will you

cesium-sheep

I wish it was time for pizza

#there’s a super good pizza place by me #Always wish it was time for their pizza

Was just thinking to myself “what would you call it if you wrote fanfic, but about your own life? Like heightened, fantastical things that could’ve happened?” (Tbh, prob a bunch gay, much like irl fanfic)

I just re-invented Tina Belcher’s Erotic FriendFic from Bob’s Burgers

#bobs burgers #erotic friendfic #because oh my fucking god #I came up with an excellent plot for my incipiently departing work crush #It’s fucking perfect #but I think he’s irl straight which seems fake? But I guess maybe some people are?

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