❛ for a long time i thought i deserved better. but the truth is we both deserve better than this. ❜
a softer world starters. accepting.
angled eyebrows furrow downwards, the pressure of such a sudden and sharp frown nothing but a dull feeling to him, lips coming together without any words, any sound, any acknowledgment of blue’s words. it was something he reminded himself of every day, an underlying motivational reason to rise in the morning with the sun, and to strive for a better place, a better peace, a reason to keep fighting. even if she had lowered her fists, even if she had found a better peace and a place to purposefully call home, he had no such consolation, no home. but he would never think any less of her, for they had suffered equally, they had died and been reborn from ashes countless times together, he knew it better than anyone other than her.
there were just some pangs of jealousy that were harder to ignore than others, shame washing over every time it happened without fail, his body feeling a little bit heavier each time he had such a battle within. he couldn’t explain what happened to him in his childhood, couldn’t explain why, how it happened, and it plagued him, troubled him, had him swinging low for so long, too long. they deserved better. they deserved a rest, a family, consolation, a chance to restart. she had earned her chance, she fought so hard, she deserved to rest. she deserved it.
yet silver could not afford to rest, not yet, not ever, for he was still unsure if whether or not he truly deserved better. even if other times, he was convinced he did ——– those things he couldn’t explain, it terrified him. such walls had shadows, and the shadows had eyes, the eyes stared too deep in him, too harsh, too revealing. and he often reached the same point : he was never going to have peace within his warring body and mind.
“ you do deserve better than what happened. do you think there will come a day where we’ll feel free ? “
