kaveh akbar, 'calling a wolf a wolf' // doc luben, 'love letters or suicide notes' // @/nutnoce, tumblr // 'my body's made of crushed little stars', mitski // @/ojibwa, tumblr // 'spring', mary oliver
so sorry to my dog but i’m literally like. moving around so much in bed, i have not sat still for 20 minutes. he has woken up to every single movement and he proceeds to just sigh.
here’s why i left the ofa. and why you should, too!
mind the content warnings. it gets pretty serious, but otherwise it’s a document i’ve been working on for a while now.
i’m gonna convert this blog into a different roleplay blog. i’m going to be part of a different roleplay group/community that i just made. but this time, i’ll be the one handling things
I feel as though I should include my own experiences with the OFA. I put a lot of time and effort into this, if you have the time to spare and it sounds interesting then I suggest you read it :)
anyways, here's the doc. It isn't quite as long as Sunny's, but there's still some stuff in there I think everyone should have a look at.
Good job, you two!!! Everything is properly documented, you shared your experiences well and shared just enough details to keep the readers in the loop. Utilizing hyperlinks and screenshots was a great move on your behalves, I applaud you two.
Now, I agree with everything. I’ve read through the documents, I noted who exactly I saw in them, and I will remember who was involved.
I may as well drop my own experience. I wasn’t really active, yeah… But I wanted to be transparent and come out with my own truths about the situation. How I really feel about what happened, and why I left the @omori-food-administration.
Here’s my experience at the OFA:
The OFA is strange. Not in a good way either, I only really felt comfortable talking when a friend was present. So I often stuck around Sunny, since he was the first one I interacted with, and he’s the one that I trust the most in Discord entirely.
They both made some really good points. If you didn’t read their responses before, then read them.
Sunny and Gholdengo did not deserve any of this. Some of it might’ve been provoked, but they didn’t deserve to be treated like as badly as they were. Sunny is one of the kindest people I know, one of the sweetest and most caring people in Discord.
I’m aware that he comes off as aggressive when we speak sometimes, but he’s like a baby bunny sometimes. Nervous, shy and cagey whenever he feels uncomfortable, he should’ve been treated better when he was in the server. The server did not respect him, and all he wanted to do was help them.
And Gholdengo is kind, too. They’re funny, they’re good-natured, smart and a generally positive person to be around. I listened to his interests and I bonded with them over a few different things.
In my head, I view Gholdengo as a younger brother. I have a younger brother myself, and thinking of my little brother witnessing things that he shouldn’t be, in a supposedly safe space…
It makes me feel so incredibly aggressive.
They were around for all of the incidents. Sunny informed me that Gholdengo was there with him witnessing events that shouldn’t have occurred in a public space like the OFA discord, incidents that should’ve been made private. In some of them, they were even on call together, as everything occurred.
In some of the incidents, I can acknowledge that I may have been aggressive and argumentative, but I’ll be honest. Every time I got involved (which was twice), I was beyond pissed. I was upset, I was one word away from snapping. I joined the OFA to have some fun, a break in my already busy schedule.
However, I won’t be apologizing, for any aggression I may have shown before. On that matter, I would like to get out this message before I leave:
Death, delete the server. Vin, go to hell. The other mods (minus the inactive Kel one), go kick rocks.
Your community fosters violence. Somebody was committing crimes in there, somebody admitted to choking a kitten. I’ve read through the drives, I have seen what exactly your community is like, and I have experienced first-hand how you treat your members.
If Sunny would’ve allowed it, I would’ve filed a police report on Stranger. I would’ve gone through every piece of information they put online just to find their location so I could file that report, because they’re doing something illegal in a public space.
And I would’ve done digging on Vin to file a police report as well. Just to put this into perspective, these are two minors committing crimes in a goddamn Discord server. Both 16 years of age, smart enough to know better, old enough to do better.
The enabling was a shit move. The poor management was an even shittier move, the fact that Sunny had to swallow his fear down and document the situation for the sake of transparency makes it all incredibly and horribly worse.
Vin sent Gholdengo literal gore. Vin made Sunny feel invalidated, you guys made Sunny feel invalidated. They are one of the funniest and nicest people I know, and they got mistreated in your community.
Your moderation team is full of shit. The amount of bias is insane, the favouritism and nepotism made me gag. I can see that Vin lovebombed Death repeatedly to the point of Death unsure of what to do. They manipulated everyone, but not a single one of you caught onto it.
But who did?
Sunny did. Sunny caught onto their manipulation, and he guided us away from the cycle of abuse Vin was attempting to start. If you guys didn’t take Sunny for granted, maybe you guys would’ve received proper guidance and a proper understanding of what to do in future scenarios.
And he’s been honest about everything. In that document, he was honest and clear about everything he spoke about. Even if he was wrong about little details and such, he was speaking the truth.
Let me restate one of his points. Did you know that:
Public meltdown > Anger against SOMETHING (allistics, hypersexuals, themself, other people) > Fawning (people move to try and stop them from hurting themself) > Calming down > Calm stage
… is a cycle of abuse?
I’ve been told that a member came to confront Vin. Somebody went to go try and talk to them, Vin refused to dm her, and it resulted in it becoming a public affair because Gaia (the member) tried to get some information and to talk to Vin herself.
Vin tried to take all of the blame, to try and reconcile because they knew that they were wrong. But that’s how abuse works. They’ll try to make you purposely feel guilty by telling everyone (publicly) that it wasn’t the public’s fault, that it was all them.
If your team had actually made a decision to appoint a new moderator, instead of sitting on it and acting indifferent, maybe the document wouldn’t have been released. I wouldn’t be here, typing out my personal thoughts and experiences of the OFA.
And if the moderation team pushed harder and appointed Sunny, the OFA wouldn’t have been a failing organization.
Fuck the moderation. Delete the server, don’t create a space for further abuse to be taken. Take people more seriously, put an effort into learning.
[id: a white userbox with a pastel blue border, and pastel blue text that reads “this user’s comfort character is hero”. on the left is an image of hero from omori. /end id]
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