[PANIC ATTACK — a short Solwyn story]
[TW: mention of bl00d, g0re, ab()se]
It’s my first time attending a royal event without my mask on.
I’m afraid, to be honest.
Back then, in that old village before I arrived here in the golden city of Anor Londo to serve His Grace, The Dark Sun, I was constantly put through torment and pain, being called a cursed child, a freak, a monster.
I touched the half burnt part of my scarred face unconsciously, staring at my own reflection in the tall gold framed glass window of the ballroom.
Laughter of the noble crowd echoed around me as His Grace swirled his wine in his goblet silently in his white gloved hands, his gold sun headpiece covering his eyes and his long white dress and matching robes swishing with his movements. The writhing snakes forming his lower half bobbed slightly, their tongues occasionally sticking out now and then to taste the air.
“Soleil, would you mind getting me some chocolate-coated strawberries from the buffet table?”
His Grace’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts as I replied him.
I kept my head down as I made my way to the table. My hair thankfully covered the burnt part of my face, also hiding my blind left eye. I picked up a plate and started to take some chocolate-coated strawberries for His Grace.
“That’s him? The Lieutenant Colonel of the Darkmoon Covenant?”
My burnt left hand holding the tongs froze midair grabbing another chocolate-coated strawberry.
“He looks like a burn victim—”
“No, he looks like a demon—”
I felt my hands shake as I took a few more chocolate-coated strawberries before speed walking back to His Grace, feeling the whispers grow louder.
“Soleil—” His Grace started but I spoke quickly.
“May I be excused? Please.” I fidgeted with my hair as I passed the plate of chocolate-coated strawberries to those slender white-gloved hands.
“…Yes, you may, but Soleil—”
I practically bolted out of the ballroom, feeling my heart pounding in my chest as I reached my room. I hurriedly changed out of my suit only to stop as I looked at my own full reflection in the floor length mirror of my room.
My body was half burnt from the left, my left hand and leg slightly shrivelled but still intact and working. The right side, the untouched side from that house fire all those years ago, sported old scars and bruises from a life I deeply hated.
No wonder that’s why your parents left you!
I dropped to my knees, holding my head in my hands as I felt my body tighten and phantom pain rushed back to me as I tried to calm down, tried to pull myself together but the memories of my being whipped, beaten up until blood covered me were too much, too—
“Soleil! Soleil, look at me, my knight.”
I looked up and saw Gwyndolin crouching down in front of me, his white gloved hands cradling my half burnt face gently as he spoke softly.
“My knight…I’m so sorry. I should’ve known the court would say things like that.” He said softly, his white gloved fingers caressing my face gently as he pulled me close, his presence a comfort and a divine touch I greatly needed.
I couldn’t help myself as I sobbed into his chest, my breathing coming out heavy and shaky.
“I’m here, my knight. Just let it all out. I’m not going anywhere.”
Soon after, I was exhausted and I fell asleep against his chest, his warmth was cozy like a campfire.
His whisper reached my ears before I fully fell asleep.
“Rest well, my knight. I will take care of you for the rest of this night.”
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