YOU ARE THE REASON
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Xuebing Du
sheepfilms
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Monterey Bay Aquarium
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
blake kathryn
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Stranger Things
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Jules of Nature
shark vs the universe
Sade Olutola
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One Nice Bug Per Day
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Game of Thrones Daily
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@solidsolidus
The solidus (Latin 'solid'; pl.: solidi) was a highly pure gold coin issued in the Later Roman Empire. It was introduced in the early 4th century, replacing the aureus. To this day, in French, solde is the specific name of a soldier's salary and so is the german word Sold with the same meaning: ABOUT | RP- HOOKS | RULES | INBOX
Send " Be honest. " + a question and my muse will be forced to answer it honestly and consciously.
For multimuses, send "Be honest, [muse name]." + a question.
𝐒𝐏𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐄𝐎𝐔𝐒 𝐂𝐈𝐑𝐂𝐔𝐌𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒 𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒
some prompts that are different from the normal. while these are mostly made for those in the fantasy genre, it can be used for modern verses as well.
「ruins」 our muses meet up in at an abandon ruin site. While investigating, they end up getting trapped inside. Now they must find another way out while avoiding triggering traps and uncover some hidden secrets.
「ambush」 my muse gets ambushed by a group of enemies on while on a solo mission and gets injured. your muse finds them in terrible shape. There isn’t a town close by to get them immediate help, so your muse quickly tends to their wounds with the emergency first aid with resources they find in the area.
「assassin」 your muse is sent on a mission to assassinate mines. they meet at a social event hosted by my muse and must try to get close to them and successfully try to kill their target.
「hostage」 your muse is sent to rescue mines that are held hostage by the enemy after falling into their trap.
「informant」 our muses meet somewhere to exchange intel, they decide to work together as they realize they share a common goal.
「recollection」 our muses wake up with no memory of who they are. They must work together to discover themselves and get out of a dangerous situation that was planned by a common enemy.
「interrogation」 your muse capture mines in order to interrogate them about a secret or information that wish to get out of them.
「betrayal」 my muse finds out that yours betrayed them and confronts them. your muse must convince my muse that they are siding enemy in order to protect them.
「traitor」 there is a traitor amongst the group. our muses must work together to find the traitor and bring them to justice.
「black market」 our muses meet up in a black market as they both searching for the same item and ran into each other.
「shipwreck」 our muses ends up shipwrecked on a mysterious island. they must survive or communicate to the outside for help.
「imprisoned」 our muses are imprisoned for a crime. They choose to team up to escape before facing punishment.
「adventure」 our muses goes on an adventure together and run into some bandits that try to delay them.
「labyrinth」 our muses are trapped inside of labyrinth must rely on their wits and skills in order to escape.
「tavern」 our muses meet in a tavern in a local town but find there is something weird is wrong with locals.
PROMPTS FOR SILENT ACTIONS THAT SAY A LOT * i wrote these with the implication that the sender doesn't say a word before they perform the action. adjust as necessary, send 'reverse' for the reversal of the prompt
[ tug ] sender tugs receiver behind them during a tense moment
[ pull ] sender pulls receiver out of harm's way at the last second
[ tuck ] sender stares at receiver and quietly reaches up, tucking a fallen strand of hair behind receiver's ear
[ yank ] sender yanks receiver closer to them, ending up in semi-suggestive close proximity
[ steady ] sender grabs receiver's arm to steady them before they fall over
[ walk ] sender moves around receiver and walks closest to the street as they travel down the sidewalk, keeping receiver away from any potential danger in the roadway
[ untied ] sender drops to their knee and starts tying receiver's shoe for them
[ spoon ] sender lifts a spoon towards receiver's mouth, encouraging them to eat
[ trace ] sender traces receiver's lips with their thumb
[ pin ] sender pins receiver to a tucked-away spot in the shadows to avoid being caught
[ neck ] without a word, sender dips down to receiver's throat and kisses them soundly
[ handheld ] sender slips a hand behind their back and grabs receiver's fingers as they stand behind them
[ carry ] without asking, sender takes receiver's heavy bags from them and carries them
[ lock ] sender and receiver lock eyes across the room
[ drink ] sender brings receiver a drink and holds it to their lips, insisting they take a drink
[ reload ] sender reloads receiver's gun for them in the middle of a fight
[ shelter ] sender uses their body to shelter receiver from an explosion or attack
[ carry ] sender picks up receiver and carries them off the battlefield and into a safe spot before running back to the fight
[ toss ] from a secret hiding spot only receiver and sender can see as they avoid an enemy, sender silently gestures to receiver to toss them (their gun, something valuable, etc.)
[ stairs ] sender offers out a hand to help receiver ascend or descend a staircase
[ cover ] sender covers receiver's eyes so they don't witness something gruesome
[ fix ] sender comes up to receiver and fixes their collar and/or tie
[ shake ] to convince receiver not to do something, sender hastily shakes their head from a distance
[ watch ] from a distance, sender taps on their watch to show receiver they're running out of time
[ i'll go ] sender gently pushes receiver back, taking charge and insisting they will handle the dangerous task
[ reach ] through a locked gate, sender reaches for receiver's hand
[ ship ] as receiver's ship takes off from the planet, sender waves to them from the ground and watches them leave
[ protect ] after someone threatens receiver, sender rushes over and gets right in their face to protect them
[ punch ] after someone attacks receiver, sender rushes over and punches them in retaliation
[ nip ] sender playfully nips at receiver's neck
[ knuckles ] sender kisses receiver's knuckles in a polite gesture
[ squeeze ] sender gives receiver's butt a playful squeeze from behind
[ danger ] as an all-powerful receiver is about to lose control of their powers and cause massive damage, sender finds their eyes and tries to talk them down
[ goodbye ] without saying a word, sender approaches receiver and kisses them goodbye
[ wipe ] sender wipes a tear from receiver's face
[ location ] without saying anything and giving away the surprise, sender takes receiver to a secret spot
[ hold back ] sender has to hold back receiver from attacking someone
[ game ] sender lets receiver win a game they're playing
[ shower ] sender joins receiver in the shower they're taking
I refuse to reblog callout posts because I'm a prison abolitionist
In all my years in this website, and I've been here a long time, I can't recall a single instance of a callout post leading to actual restitution for the victims of the alleged harm the person was accused of. Even in cases where the accusations were true. Even in cases where there was legitimate harm done to another person.
Remember the sixpencee child slave thing? What happened there, exactly? Was the kid freed? No? They were just run off the website? OK so what good exactly did that do?
Remember the bone stealing witch? What exactly did that witchhunt accomplish? The person got arrested, oh that's great, the american justice system surely rectified the situation
And again, those are instances where the accusations were true and involved real substantive harm to another person. We used to joke on here how callout posts were shit like "receipts below: [several paragraphs of petty fandom drama] [three paragraphs of petty interpersonal drama involving cheating on partners or stealing food out of the fridge or something] [fabricated evidence that the person is responsible for the murder of JonBenét Ramsey]"
And that was back in the 2010s. The meta has changed. Callouts used to be a tool people used to point out actual harm a person had done, rarely, and more commonly were used as a means of bullying somebody over petty drama. Nowadays they're used to manufacture outrage and harassment against marginalized populations. They are a weapon bigots use to turn us against each other. A few manufactured accusations here, some out of context or clipped screenshots there, and people who should be standing in solidarity with each other against white supremacy, patriarchy, cisheteronormativity, are instead devouring each other.
It's sinister as shit, dude, and people will still share these accusations without a second thought. So, why? What is the point? What's the best case scenario here? Raising "awareness?" what the fuck is that supposed to accomplish? Will we get the oh-so-trustworthy authorities involved? Are we hoping for an arrest? A conviction? Throwing a queer or poc person in prison so they can be abused and assaulted and humiliated behind bars? Is that who we are?
Callouts and the like don't serve any real good in the world. At a macro scale they divide us when we should be standing together, and at a micro scale they result in deeply traumatic never-ending harassment and threats and doxxing and worse to a person who almost definitely does not deserve it. And again, for what? A sense of "justice?" this is not justice. This is retribution. It is punishment.
It's fucking cop behavior, and I'm not gonna participate in it.
120 ULTIMATE LIST OF CHARACTER FLAWS. Bold what applies to your Muse! Tagged by: A Lyras string Tagging: @wishcast @touchcure @doomedbychoice @fifthdimensicn @inquisitxr @sanguisprince @lary5trong @kuyenkutral @yautjaiisms @menelvagor @cybersvoodoo ...AND YOU!!
1. Moral Flexibility - Adapts their ethics to fit the situation, often justifying questionable actions as necessary.
2. Cognitive Dissonance - Holds two conflicting beliefs or values and struggles to reconcile them, leading to inner turmoil.
3. Overempathy - Feels others’ emotions too intensely, leading to burnout or an inability to make objective decisions.
4. Intellectual Arrogance - Dismisses others’ ideas as inferior, believing their own intellect is superior.
5. Chronic Overthinking - Analyzes situations to the point of paralysis, unable to take decisive action.
6. Restless Wanderlust - Has a constant desire for change or travel, leading to instability in relationships or careers.
7. Savior Complex - Feels compelled to “save” others, often to the detriment of their own well-being or others’ autonomy.
8. Emotional Vampirism - Drains others emotionally, needing constant validation or attention.
9. Righteous Indignation - Becomes excessively angry over perceived injustices, often alienating others.
10. Altruistic Self-Destruction - Sacrifices themselves for others to an unhealthy degree, often leading to self-neglect.
11. Pathological Modesty - Downplays their own achievements to the point of self-sabotage or invisibility.
12. Incapable of Solitude - Feels an intense fear of being alone, leading to codependent or unhealthy relationships.
13. Over-Rationalization - Justifies every action or decision, even when it’s clearly flawed, to avoid guilt or responsibility.
14. Constant Self-Sabotage - Subconsciously undermines their own success due to deep-seated fears or insecurities.
15. Misplaced Loyalty - Stays loyal to people or causes even when it’s harmful or undeserved.
16. Ethical Rigidity - Follows their moral code to the letter, unable to adapt to complex or gray situations.
17. Need for Obscurity - Prefers to stay unnoticed or in the background, avoiding recognition or responsibility.
18. Involuntary Aloofness - Appears distant or disinterested, often without meaning to, leading to misunderstandings.
19. Fear of Mediocrity - Terrified of being ordinary, they constantly strive for greatness, often leading to burnout.
20. Rejection Sensitivity - Overreacts to criticism or perceived slights, often withdrawing or lashing out.
21. Conflict Avoidance - Avoids confrontation at all costs, leading to unresolved issues and resentment.
22. Over-idealization of Others - Puts people on pedestals, only to be deeply disappointed when they don’t meet expectations.
23. Chronically Unfulfilled - No matter what they achieve, they always feel something is missing, leading to constant searching.
24. Compulsive Truth-Telling - Feels compelled to speak the truth, even when it would be kinder or wiser to remain silent.
25. Overactive Imagination - Sees threats or possibilities where there are none, leading to anxiety or missed opportunities.
26. Faux Humility - Pretends to be humble but secretly craves admiration or validation.
27. Micromanagement - Needs to control every detail, often suffocating others or hindering their own progress.
28. Anachronistic Thinking - Clings to outdated beliefs or practices, struggling to adapt to modern realities.
29. Over-Reliance on Routine - Becomes anxious or lost without their routines, struggling to adapt to change.
30. Selective Memory - Remembers events in a way that suits their narrative, often distorting the truth.
31. Paradoxical Fear of Success - Desires success but subconsciously fears the changes or responsibilities it might bring.
32. Compassion Fatigue - Once empathetic, now numbed or indifferent due to overwhelming exposure to others’ suffering.
33. Overwhelming Nostalgia - Lives in the past, unable to move forward or appreciate the present.
34. Unyielding Perfectionism - So focused on flawlessness that they struggle to complete tasks or accept anything less than perfect.
35. Epistemic Arrogance - Believes they know everything worth knowing, dismissing the possibility of learning from others.
36. Excessive Hedonism - Pursues pleasure to the point of neglecting responsibilities or moral considerations.
37. Over-Cautiousness - So afraid of making mistakes that they rarely take action, leading to missed opportunities.
38. Idealistic Naivety - Believes the world should operate according to their ideals, often clashing with reality.
39. Ambition without Direction - Desires greatness but has no clear path or plan, leading to frustration and failure.
40. Emotional Transference - Projects unresolved emotions onto others, often misinterpreting their intentions or actions.
41. Overdependence on Routine - Becomes anxious or lost without their routines, struggling to adapt to change.
42. Misplaced Guilt - Feels responsible for things outside of their control, leading to unnecessary self-blame.
43. Fear of Being Ordinary - Constantly strives to stand out, often at the expense of authenticity or well-being.
44. Chronic Indecisiveness - Struggles to make even simple decisions, constantly second-guessing themselves.
45. Faux Cynicism - Pretends to be jaded or cynical as a defense mechanism, while secretly caring deeply.
46. Romanticization of Suffering - Believes that suffering is noble or meaningful, often rejecting happiness or comfort.
47. Selective Compassion - Empathetic towards some but completely indifferent or cold to others, often based on biases.
48. Avoidant Optimism - Avoids negative thoughts or situations, clinging to an unrealistic positivity that ignores real problems.
49. Fear of Abandonment - Clings to relationships out of fear of being left alone, often leading to unhealthy dynamics.
50. Overidentification with Work - Sees their job as their entire identity, struggling with self-worth outside of work.
51. Excessive Altruism - Sacrifices their own needs to help others, often to their own detriment.
52. Self-Imposed Isolation - Withdraws from others out of fear of rejection or misunderstanding, leading to loneliness.
53. Over-Analysis Paralysis - Overthinks every situation to the point of being unable to make decisions or take action.
54. Eternal Romantic - Sees the world through a lens of idealized love, often leading to disillusionment or heartbreak.
55. Emotional Incontinence - Struggles to control their emotions, often overwhelming others with their intensity.
56. Fear of Aging - Obsessed with youth, they go to great lengths to deny or hide the aging process.
57. Intellectual Cowardice - Avoids challenging their own beliefs or ideas, sticking to what they know out of fear of change.
58. Emotional Hoarding - Holds onto past hurts or grudges, unable to let go and move on.
59. Unquenchable Curiosity - Always needs to know more, often prying into others’ lives or crossing boundaries.
60. Romantic Escapism - Uses fantasy or daydreams as a way to avoid dealing with reality, leading to detachment.
61. Masochistic Tendencies - Deliberately seeks out situations that cause them pain or discomfort, believing they deserve it.
62. Incurable Wanderer - Can never settle down, always moving on to the next place or experience, leading to rootlessness.
63. Dependency on Validation - Needs constant approval or praise from others to feel good about themselves.
64. Constant Self-Reinvention - Continuously changes their identity or persona, never settling on who they truly are.
65. Moral Masochism - Finds satisfaction in self-punishment or guilt, often holding themselves to impossible standards.
66. Faux Bravado - Pretends to be fearless or confident to hide deep-seated insecurities or fears.
67. Over-romanticization of the Past - Idealizes past experiences, believing that things were better back then, leading to dissatisfaction with the present.
68. Chronic Hedging - Never fully commits to decisions or actions, always leaving themselves an escape route.
69. Fear of Stagnation - Constantly needs to be doing something or moving forward, fearing they’ll become irrelevant or bored.
70. Over-Attachment to Objects - Places excessive sentimental value on material possessions, struggling to let go.
71. Emotional Stoicism - Refuses to show or acknowledge emotions, leading to repression and eventual breakdowns.
72. Self-Flagellation - Constantly punishes themselves for perceived failures or mistakes, often disproportionate to the actual events.
73. Fear of the Unknown - Terrified of what they can’t predict or control, leading to anxiety or avoidance of new experiences.
74. Romantic Pessimism - Believes that love or relationships are doomed to fail, leading to self-sabotage or cynicism.
75. Intellectual Purism - Believes in the superiority of “pure” intellectual pursuits, often dismissing practical or emotional concerns.
76. Existential Dread - Obsesses over the meaning (or lack thereof) of life, leading to paralysis or despair.
77. Involuntary Nonconformity- Desires to fit in but can’t help standing out or going against the grain, often feeling alienated.
78. Self-Imposed Martyrdom - Puts themselves in a position of suffering or sacrifice, believing it’s their duty or fate.
79. Idealized Self-Image - Clings to an unrealistic self-concept, struggling to accept their flaws or limitations.
80. Compulsive Honesty - Feels compelled to always tell the truth, even when it’s hurtful or inappropriate.
81. Over-Reliance on Technology - Becomes helpless without modern conveniences, struggling to cope with real-world challenges.
82. Moral Exhibitionism - Shows off their ethics or principles to gain admiration or moral superiority, often insincerely.
83. Perpetual Student Syndrome - Always learning but never applying knowledge, avoiding real-world responsibilities.
84. Emotional Osmosis - Absorbs others’ emotions so deeply that they lose track of their own feelings or needs.
85. Pathological Frugality - So obsessed with saving money or resources that they miss out on life’s joys or opportunities.
86. Obsessive Self-Improvement - Never satisfied with themselves, constantly striving for unattainable perfection.
87. False Modesty - Pretends to be humble while fishing for compliments or validation.
88. Uncontrolled Impulsiveness - Acts on whims or impulses without considering the consequences, leading to chaos or regret.
89. Chronic Hedonism - Lives only for pleasure, often to the detriment of their long-term happiness or relationships.
90. Overly Abstract Thinking - So focused on big ideas or concepts that they lose touch with reality or practical concerns.
91. Romantic Idealism - Believes in a perfect love or relationship, often leading to disappointment or disillusionment.
92. Selective Altruism - Only helps others when it suits them, often ignoring those who don’t fit their criteria.
93. Pathological Shyness - So shy or introverted that they struggle to function in social situations, often missing out on opportunities.
94. Moral Superiority - Believes they are more ethical or righteous than others, often looking down on those who don’t share their views.
95. Over-identification with a Role - Sees themselves only as their job, family role, or social identity, losing sight of their true self.
96. Chronic Complaining - Constantly finds something to complain about, often bringing others down or creating a negative atmosphere.
97. Faux Stoicism - Pretends to be emotionally strong or unaffected, while secretly struggling with deep emotional turmoil.
98. Addiction to Drama - Thrives on conflict or chaos, often creating drama where there is none to feel alive or important.
99. Obsessive Collecting - Gathers possessions, knowledge, or experiences obsessively, often unable to let go or move on.
100. Inflexible Optimism - Refuses to acknowledge negative possibilities, often unprepared for setbacks or challenges.
101. Contrarianism - Always takes the opposite stance just to challenge others, often without genuine conviction.
102. Emotional Projection - Attributes their own feelings or issues onto others, often leading to misunderstandings.
103. Compulsive Heroism - Feels the need to be seen as heroic or brave, even in situations that don’t call for it.
104. Spiritual Narcissism - Uses spirituality as a way to feel superior to others or to avoid personal flaws.
105. Self-Defeating Humor - Constantly makes jokes at their own expense, using humor to deflect serious issues.
106. Identity Fluidity - Frequently changes their identity or beliefs to fit in with different groups, losing a sense of true self.
107. Overattachment to the Past - Can’t move on from past successes or failures, allowing them to define their present.
108. Pseudointellectualism - Pretends to know more than they do, using complex language or ideas to impress others.
109. Overidealization of Youth - Places youth on a pedestal, often dismissing the value of experience or aging.
110. Refusal to Accept Help - Rejects assistance from others, believing they must do everything on their own, even to their detriment.
111. Emotional Manipulation - Uses guilt, pity, or other emotions to control or influence others, often without realizing it.
112. Inconsistent Values - Holds contradictory beliefs or morals, leading to confusion or hypocrisy in their actions.
113. Obsession with Legacy - So focused on how they’ll be remembered that they neglect the present or make unwise choices.
114. Excessive Eagerness to Please - Goes out of their way to make others happy, often at the cost of their own needs or principles.
115. Emotionally Guarded - Builds walls around their feelings, making it difficult for others to get close or understand them.
116. Selective Memory - Chooses to remember events in a way that favors them, often distorting the truth.
117. Overattachment to Authority - Relies heavily on rules or leaders, struggling to make decisions independently or question authority.
118. Fear of Vulnerability - Avoids showing weakness or asking for help, leading to isolation or burnout.
119. Intellectual Detachment - Approaches everything with cold logic, often ignoring the emotional or human side of situations.
120. Obsession with Control - Needs to control every aspect of their life and others’, often leading to stress or strained relationships.
Mar has... bold what Applies, italicize what might! ( Don’t reblog, repost! ) Killed Someone Under Orders | Had Someone Killed On Their Orders | Killed Someone | Spared Someone’s Life | Invented Something | Been Hungover | Kissed Someone | Slow-Danced | Been In A Long-Term Relationship | Had Sex | Had Sex And Regretted It | Had A One-Night Stand | Had A Threesome | Had A Kid | Wanted To Have A Family With Someone | Done Something On Drunken Impulse They Regretted | Gone Traveling | Had A Bounty Put On Them | Eaten An Insect | Been Groped By A Stranger | Been Dumped | Dumped Someone | Smoked | Gotten High | Flirted With Someone To Get Free Drinks | Put Someone In A Headlock | Won A Bet | Lost A Bet | Forgiven Someone Who Wronged Them | Indulged In Petty Revenge | Hallucinated | Has A Noticeable Physical Defect (mild cleft lip) | Gotten A Noticeable Scar | Kneed Someone In The Groin | Had An Unattainable Crush | Laughed Themself To The Point Of Tears | Been Kidnapped | Been Sexually Assaulted | Been Brainwashed/Hypnotised | Had A Recurring Nightmare | Been Bullied | Bullied Someone | Experienced Survivor’s Guilt | Been Tied/Chained Up | Given Someone A Massage | Received A Massage | Been Backed Up Against A Wall | Shot Someone | Stabbed Someone | Saved Someone’s Life | Cheated On Someone | Been Cheated On | Been In An Open Relationship | Had A Friendship With Benefits | Been In A Queerplatonic Relationship | Had A Stalker | Been Betrayed | Been A Traitor | Been Possessed | Been In A Bar Fight | Been Thrown Out Of A Bar | Been Arrested | Broken Out Of Jail | Been To A Funeral | Been To A Brothel | Had Surgery| Broken Someone’s Trust | Broken Someone’s Heart | Had Their Heart Broken | Broken/Damaged Something Out Of Anger | Broken/Damaged Something Out Of Spite | Gotten A Piercing | Gotten A Tattoo* | Used A Fake Name | Been Tortured/Tortured Others | Been Abused | Been Blackmailed | Gotten Away With A Crime | Shared A Bed Platonically | Been In Love | Suffered From Sleep Paralysis | Been Forced To Flee Their Home | Learned A New Language | Joined A Rebellion | Fought On The Losing Side Of A War | Fought On The Winning Side Of A War | Become A Godparent | Become An Aunt/Uncle |
Gotten a Tattoo: Mar had been given Therapy -Tattoos with acupuncture-like-purpose on spots where she had been injured or feels resturning pain- she has four short lines on her left shoulderblade over the scar a arrowhead had left there, she has black lines over the bitescar the mad dog had left on her left arm when she was a child, she has four parallel lines on her lower back because she had thrown her back out a few times, she has lines on her right heel because that leg is shorter than the other and gives her backaches...
Tagged by: A Lyras string Tagging: @wishcast @touchcure @doomedbychoice @fifthdimensicn @inquisitxr @sanguisprince @lary5trong @kuyenkutral @yautjaiisms @menelvagor @cybersvoodoo ...AND YOU!
Your Characters Habits: Mar Mutthand BOLD what applies to your muse.
1.Smoking: the action or habit of inhaling and exhaling the smoke of tobacco or a drug. 2. Binge drinking: the consumption of an excessive amount of alcohol in a short period of time. 3. Drug abuse: the habitual taking of illegal drugs.* 4. Nail biting: a common body language sign of anxiety/tension. 5. Lip biting: a common body language sign of anxiety/tension. 6. Night Owl: a person who is habitually active or wakeful at night. 7. Early bird: a person who rises, arrives, or acts before the usual or expected time. 8. Negative attitudes: a philosophy of approaching life with criticism and pessimism. 9. Positive attitudes: a philosophy of approaching life with optimism and confidence. 10. Swearing: the use of offensive language. 11. Superstitious: an irrational belief that an object, action, or circumstance not logically related to a course of events influences its outcome. 12. Inspecting fingernails: a common body language sign of boredom. 13. Scratching your neck: a common body language sign of uncertainty. 14. Foot and finger tapping: a common body language sign of stress/impatience. 15. Nose touch: a subtle body language sign of deceit. 16. Flipping hair: a common body language sign of craving attention. 17. Twirling hair: a common body language sign of flirtation. 18. Cracking knuckles: a common body language sign of readiness. 19. Hands behind back: a common body language sign of confidence. 20. Finger pointing: a common body language sign of authority. 21. Hands on hips: a common body language sign of readiness. 22: Hands in pockets: a common body language sign of mistrust/reluctance. 23. Frequent touch: a common body language sign of warmth/familiarity. 24. Throat-clearing: a common body language sign of rejection/doubt. 25: Jaw-clenching: a common body language sign of hostility. 26: Eye-rolling: a common body language sign of irritation. 27: Head-tilt: a common body language sign of interest. 28. Whistling: to emit high-pitched sound by forcing breath through a small hole between one’s lips or teeth; usually to a tune. 29. Humming: make a low, steady continuous sound like that of a bee; usually to a tune. 30. Perfectionism: refusal to accept any standard short of perfection. 31. Photographic memory: the ability to remember information or visual images in great detail. 32. Paranoia: a mental condition characterized by delusions of persecution, unwarranted jealousy, or exaggerated self-importance, typically worked into an organized system. 33. Exaggeration: a statement that represents something as better or worse than it really is. 34: Intuitive: using or based on what one feels to be true even without conscious reasoning; instinctive. 35: Quick-witted: showing or characterized by an ability to think or respond quickly and effectively. 36: Interrupting: breaking the continuity of a conversation with one’s own statements. 37: Doodling: to scribble or make rough drawings, absent-mindedly. 38: Irritable: having or showing a tendency to be easily annoyed. 39: Gambling: to play games of chance for money; bet. 40: Travel-sick: suffering from nausea caused by the motion of a moving vehicle, boat, or aircraft. 41: Sensitive: having or displaying a quick and delicate appreciation of others’ feelings. 42: Melancholy: a feeling of pensive sadness, typically with no obvious cause. 43: Chewing gum: the exercise of chewing flavoured gum which is not intended for swallowing. 44: Fidgeting: to make small movements, especially of the hands and feet, through nervousness or impatience. 45: Skeptical: not easily convinced; having doubts or reservations. 46: Neat-freak: compulsively obsessed with cleanliness. 47: Gossiping: divulging personal information about others. 48: Prim: feeling or showing disapproval of anything regarded as improper; stiffly correct. 49: Abbreviating: Giving others nicknames/shortening names/giving pet names. 50: Having a catchphrase: having a sentence or phrase typically associated with a specific person.
Drug Abuse: Mar had been made used to to different potions since she was a young child to enhance her own physical capabilities in battle. She uses them daily on her work and uses other poisons on herself in extreme situations. Mar does not drink alcohol because it would react negatively to the potions in her system. Abbreviating: While Mar does not give petnames per se, she does strictly uses honorifics on the people even those she considers friends and even more so for people she does not know well. Calling someoen "young sir" or "Milady" is a easy way to put another person on a verbal pedestal and with that to keep a distance between herself and them. It is very rare for Mar to refer to soemoen with their actual name and even rarer for her to not put a honorific infront of that name. If that happens, she is already very close to that person (She does call the soldiers in her Contubernium by their first name, because she had known and lived with them since she was a child)
Tagged by: A Lyras string Tagging: @wishcast @touchcure @doomedbychoice @fifthdimensicn @inquisitxr @sanguisprince @lary5trong @kuyenkutral @yautjaiisms @menelvagor @cybersvoodoo ...AND YOU!
❝ please stay. i don’t think i can be alone tonight. ❞ (you don't have to answer this, i still owe you responses for the other asks XD but if you feel it then i would love to read your reply to this ask!)
STAYING THE NIGHT PROMPTS: At this hour of the night after Mar had already given over the watch to another soldier, the campfire had burned down so much that the barely there fireshine drew outlines of orange in the blackness hanging between the trees. The Halforc had good eyes, keen eyes, orcish eyes and what were for others just outlines was the blu-dyed enviorment painted in flowing flecks of orange: She saw the beaten bath throught the camp clearly, she saw every root digging through the grass like black snakes clearly, she saw the merchants tents glowing orange from the last bit of direshine that she had to squint her eyes, she saw the place by one of the fires where she had put down her sleeping mat clearly, she saw the Halflelf wide awake before he even talked much too clearly and unignorable.
His voice was quiet and almost thin in the quietness of the night laying thick like a blanket over the encampment. Almost brittle. Almost worryingly quiet. Yet still it made Mar flinch so hard as if she had been slapped and when before she had reached down to grab her sleeping-mat to search for somwhere else to sleep to give Curume more privacy, now she just looked at the other like a startled deer with her ears folted up and her eyes round and suprised. Then the woman sat down in the grass beside the others sleepingmat unceremoniously. A few moments passed quietly and as thickly viscous as syrupe. And the whole time the young womans freckled ears flicked after the slightest sound- Curumes breathing, the rustling of the wind in the leafs above their heads, the grass beneath them whispering at the slightest move or shifting of weight, her small hands opening and closing around the grass in the tact of her own breaths, the quietness laying around the camp like a heavy blanket, the almsot silence of the night ready to smother Mar, the other body next to her alive and breathing and yet as unreadable as anything in the almost blackness should be unreadable for her.
"...I could brew up a nephentes for you to make you fall asleep, young Sir." , Mars words fell into the quietness as uncomortable loud and hard as a stone in a deep well. And just like by a stone the Halforc felt those words hit her almost painfully and promptly sat up even straighter than before as if she was reacting to a sudden pain. Clearing her throat much too loudly to be natural the young woman looked to the side and her ears flicked, flicked, flicked up and down even more wildly in the tact of her own heartbeat buzzing in her head: "- I would understand if you do not trust me to do that, my apologize. Of course you would not trust me to do that. You are free to feel that way and it is not like I need to leave now, I am after all not on guard duty, but I am sitting here with a hauberk and a spear so I, hm, I am not exactly a comforting presence, I am probably not comforting at all or looking safe, I think I am- " Talking too much to be comforting, too orchish to be comforting, too awkward to be comforting, too strange to be comforting,talking too stupidly to be comforting, too loud to be comforting, not comforting at all, never comforting, not her, never her. Mar bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from stuttering out any more awkward words and the sillage of black iron filled her mouth and nose. Pinning her ears flat against her head, the young woman just shaked her head with a frustarted chuff , than she sternly stopped herself to do even that and instead just folded her hands neatly on her lap. Her voice was so quiet it almost drowned against the singsang of noises in the nightly forest; the soft rustle like a distant sea of the dark cool grass on the ground beneath them, the wind in the leafs above their heads tasting almost salty from the far away coast, small animals moving through the dark undergrowth like fish in shallow waters. Mar couldn´t swim, so she never grew fond of the ocean or deep waters : "... if you are worried to be alone or sleep alone, I can give you a opus for a dreamless and fearless sleep. Its what " -I, Mar added in her head but instead said strictly: "-soldiers usually take, when they can´t sleep at night." [ @doomedbychoice ]
[ BANDAGE ] : auryn bandages a wound on mar.
At some point in the night the wolves howling had stopped. The caravan of merchants the soldiers were accompanying had been followed by the howlign of the pack like by an echo throught he whole track through the forest. Like an echo, or like a warning. In the night the carvan had put up fires and the soldiers had patrolled aroudn the camp while the merchants slepw oth the thick canopy of leafs above their heads like a blanket, yet eventually the howling had stopped and the snarling had started. So loud. Too loud. Much too loud because the wolves had been so close.
Now in the morning most of the wolfpack had escaped to hide in the thick shadows hanging like curtains between the trees and those that had not fled were still laying dead on the damp forestfloor where they had been struck down by the guards and now the grey sunlight falling through the treeleafs drew grey circles like headstones around them. The merchants in the camp were busy to break off camp to be on their way as fast as possible before the shadows between the trees past the glade could turn long enough to catch them before they could leave the forest safely. Instead of the howling and the humm of tensionthat had lay over the camp, now there were nothing but busy chatters and hasty footsteps whispering over the glade. Yet the packs howlings echo still lay thickly in the air like the scraps of a past nightmare in a sleepy heads mind.
The merchants and other soldiers washed past Mar who was sitting on a cart like riverwater while she sat still like a stone with her spear put on the cart beside her and her leg smeared with black blood like with black tar from a bitewound put up a sack of flour. Her ears flicked up and down attentive after everyone passing by and the scraps of conversations moving over the glade. Through the canopy of leafs above her head streaks of dull, grey sunlight fell on the glade to draw puddles of silver on the forestfloor and made the pale cloth she pressed on her leg look almost as if it was glowing. The Halforcs stark freckled ears flicked up and turned in her red hair forward by the sound of one of the members of the caravan kneel down infront of her to reach for the bitemark on Mars leg.
"...you do not have to do that, milady." Mar said quietly, softly, almost gently. She did not pushed the others hands away, but she did pulled in a sharp breath and promptly straightened her back as if she was seconds before battle adjusting her way of stance to hold a heavy shield. A shield to keep Auryn away. A shield to keep distance between them. A shiled Mar should have used the night before to better hide her leg.
"I do have the training of the capsarii and the cut does not even need stitching. A honey -dressing is all that is needed." After all,honey cleansed injuries, drew out fluids and opned pores; the Halforc repeated in her head to keep her thoughts from wondering why the other womanwould bother to help her. Bother to care about her. Bother to waste time on someone like the Halforc was: " Please do not waste time on " Someone like me, someone who should not be hurt, someone who should be able to look after themself, someone who should always only look after themself, someone who could never hope to be looked after by anyone: "me." [ @wishcast ]
[other] !
Send me a word! || learn all about my muse's physical features! [other]: any other obscure feature or tiny detail that the asker is interested in, could include fantastical elements such as a tail, wings, horns, must be stated by asker, etc.tc.
As there was not asked what feature to describe specifically, how about describing Mars teeth and tusks? As a Halforc Mar has too many orcish teeth for a too small human jaw, so untuil up to her beein a teenager she was prone to having migraine attacks. It was the time when she traveled with Orcs that the reason for those attacks was discovered and she was very uncerimonisely put on a table, numbed with a herbal anesthetic before the molars at the back of her jaws were pulled to give room to the teeth in the front of her jaws. Which are a lot of words for : Mar has big, unshapely teeth and she avoids smiling because it makes her feel odd. When she smiles, she will press her lips together and pull her hood into her face or look down.
Mar has specifically big tusks for a orcwoman that almost reach up to her nose. Her fronteeth look especially odd, because they have no flat end but look slightly pointy and sharp. The halforc is uncomfortabley aware that her teeth look more like the teeth of a carnivore than the humanish omnivore she is suppose to be, so she is a rather awkward to eat infrront of other people. As a soldier living mostly in encampments the Halforc is very keen on cleanieness, so she is also very keen on taking care of her teeth as strange looking as they are.
[hands]
Send me a word! || learn all about my muse's physical features! [hands]: are they large or small, do they have pianist’s fingers or short stubby ones, do they tend to get sweaty or are they always dry, is the skin rough or delicate, are the nails painted or chewed or sharp, etc
Mar is a short woman who is very, very, very far from beeing petit but who is still small. And because of her shortness her hand and feet are proportional and therefor also small. Her fingers are short and stubby, but the thickness of her fingers is mostly caused by her hands beeing covered very callouse skin that was build up in years of weapon training. Her fingers and the insides of her hands are hard and callouse despite her using oliveoil as skincare daily.
Despite beeing constantly feeling cold and freezing a little, because Mar is a true nesh, she has a inhumanly fast running metabolism so while she feels cold herself, her hands feel hot to the touch. Even feverish. Naturally, Mar has a high metabolism, because she has a physically sternouse work and is moving constantly, yet inthe same way she is also drugging herself constantly with the body-enchancing-potions she had been used to since she was a child so Mars very active metabolism is a result of that. Freckles cover the back of Mars hands and the top of her fingers and the inside of her hands is a much brighter greyish- green than the outside of her hands.
Mar has a habit of chewing her nails down when she is nervouse and considering she is a high-strung person this would be everyday. Accordingly she keeps her nails very short to keep herself from chewing them bloody. It works this most of the time, but when she is especially restless or evenw ors,e when she is injured and unable to keep her mind budy with training ro working, she will start chewing her nails bloody again. Accordingly is it always easy to know how Mar feels by looking at the state of her nails. She does not paint her nails for that obvious reason, but due to her black blod, Mars nails look blackish.
don’t ship with me bc I will worship our ship and love on it every other second and when I’m not doing replies I will reblog things to fill our otp tag and I will message you lil things to reply to and cute headcanons and spine crippling anGST DONT DO IT I WARNED YOU
[ BLANKET ]: auryn drapes a blanket over mar's shoulders.
The second the other womans hands lay down on Mars shoulder to put the blanket over the Halforcs shoulders, Mar flinched as if she had been slapped . Straightening her back with her lips pressed so hard together it hurted, the woman - gently, much too gently, so gently as if the other was made og glass- took Auryns Hands from her shoulders. Then she stepped to the side softly to be out of her reach; the damp sand beneath her sandals rustled like silk and at the far edge of her midn she felt the edge of the waves lick on the side of her sandals. It was so early in the morning that the harbourtown at the end of the road was still sleeping deeply under the thick layer of mist hanging over it, over the travlers, over the line of grey colourless beach, over the like liquid steel looking waterline, over the streak of boney white trees growing beside the beaten path through the beachsand. The forest into which the pale, leafless trees growing along the shore would turn into was thick and wild, so the path to the town lead along the beach with the shoreline to the left with waves that seemd to reach of every travlers feet and the line of trees to the right where between the pale branches darkness hung thickly that was ready to swallow everyone foolish enough to not walk along the shore. The mist lay around them so thickly that the oceanwaves were barely visible and were nothing but a wisp of noise at one side, barely hearable against the noise of feet walking on damp, grey sand beneath. It was quiet- the harbourtown that was only a dark shape int he mists greyness was quiet, the waves were nothing but a whisper and the forest lurked darkly as if holding its breath before jumping to attack. The sea was ready to devour whoever got too deep into the icy water, yet still the forest just waited and was ready to bite with dark teeth that were old branches. This way the path by the shore was safer than any other alternative even if it was cold, the sand beneath was damp and the harbourtown was still too far away. Mar felt that her voice was too loud agaisnt the stillness of the much too early morning. She cleared her throat stiffly.
"I am not cold, young Lady."; Mar said strictly- she lied and the way her stark freckled ears started to flick, flick, flick up and down as if she was a cornered deer showed how bad she was at lying despite her frowning face and stern voice. The Halforc was too much of an Orc to enjoy cooldness and still she felt like a moody child complaining about beeing cold when the slightest breeze made her shudder and shiver horribly. Just thinking about beeing cold made her feel even colder and automatically the young woman pulled her shoulders up, grimacing just so slightly. It was a cold morning. The mists dampness crawled up her legs like frozen hands: "And it would be unaccaptable to take your blanket, when it is my task to guard you. I should probably give you my paenula so you feel warmer." [ @wishcast ]
DEMEANOR & MANNERISMS GUIDE. bold what always applies. italicize what sometimes applies. crossout what never applies.
Tagged by: A Lyras string Tagging: @wishcast @touchcure @doomedbychoice @fifthdimensicn @inquisitxr @sanguisprince @lary5trong @kuyenkutral @yautjaiisms @menelvagor @cybersvoodoo ...AND YOU!
EYES : avoids eye contact when nervous | maintains eye contact when agitated | avoids eye contact due to being neurodivergent | enjoys eye contact as a means to read and convey emotion | looks down when emotional | looks up (aside) when emotional | cries openly | wipes tears quickly | suppresses tears | wandering gaze when lost in thought | holds gaze while thinking | seeks out eye contact for reassurance | seeks out eye contact to gauge enthusiasm during conversations | eyes constantly move during conversation | expressive eyes | emotions only evident through eyes | uses eye contact to intimidate | looks up (aside) while thinking | looks down while thinking. *The only time Mar is looking at someone directly is when they are her opponent.
HANDS : clasps behind back | rest in lap | fidgets with clothes | twiddles thumbs | chews at nails | pushes back cuticles | draws patterns on table/counter surfaces | makes animated gestures while speaking | only gestures to emphasize | utilizes sign language | speaks only through sign | calluses | scars | smooth | wrinkled | worn | soft | delicate | bony | slender | thick | veiny | touches others while speaking | reaches out while laughing | reaches out to comfort others | reaches out to seek comfort | places face in hands when exasperated | places palms over eyes to hide when overwhelmed | rests chin in hands | taps fingers when impatient | taps fingers when nervous | taps fingers while thinking | scratches scalp | strokes chin | rubs back of head | toys with objects around them | runs fingers over surfaces while walking by. *Considering her gruff mannerism, Mar is more empathic than one might think and she often finds herself wanting to comfort people around her. Her first instink is to reach out and lay a hand on their arm or shoulder and that is also exactly the moment she remembers that she is a halforcish mercenary more than often payed too look as dangerouse as possible, so there is not much comfort found in her beeing there. And int he same manner, Mar is always worried she hurts people by simply grasping too hard. Accordingly the woman usually will just mutter some words that are meant encouraging and comforting, notice that words are wind and than be frustrated for not beeing able to be a comfort.
MOUTH : chews lip | chews at inside of cheek | licks lips | bites tongue | chews on straws | resting frown | resting smile | neutral resting expression | resting pout | grinds teeth | flexes jaw (when thinking) | covers mouth when laughing | covers mouth when shocked | covers mouth when concerned | hands to lips while thinking | covers mouth when chewing | chews with mouth closed | chews with mouth open | smirks | grins | subtle smiles | wide smiles | sad smiles | intimidating smiles | menacing grins | openly smiles | tries to suppress smiles | bares teeth when angry | lips quiver when emotional | stutters | speaks quickly | speaks slowly | good pronunciation | poor pronunciation | moderate pronunciation | purses lips | sucks in lips | holds mouth open when shocked or confused. *Mar had been often told to "Not act like an orc" during her education, so she does her best to hide her most prominent feature which are her tusks. She had also been told that her sharp teeth make people easily uncomfortable, so the woman will do her best to press her lips together when smiling to hide her not human teeth, though due to her mild case of cleft-lip on the left side of her mouth there is always a little part of her left canine visible where the gap had been sewn shut when she was a infant and the fleshmaterial was not enough to even her lip. Mar usually turns her head away and pulls her hood down into her face when laughing.
LEGS :bounces leg when nervous | draws knees to chest when sitting | draws knees to chest as a means of comfort | sits on knees | sits with legs criss-crossed | sits with legs spread open in chairs | crosses legs when sitting in chairs | sits with one leg folded under the other | places feet on furniture | never places feet on furniture | sits on counters | sits on desks | sits on tables | sits on edge of seat | sits hunched over with forearms on knees | arches one knee up | sits on the arm of chairs/couches | feet on dashboard | swings legs back and forth when sitting somewhere elevated | wiggles toes when nervous | wiggles toes as a general tick | shuffles feet | kicks foot into ground | stomps feet | loud footsteps | quiet footsteps | silent footsteps.
HAIR :runs fingers through hair | tugs at hair | picks at scalp | chews on hair | twists locks of hair while thinking or nervous | smooths out locks of hair while thinking or nervous | prefers hair out of face | prefers long hair | prefers short hair | wears hair back | keeps hair down | smooths back hair | plays with other's hair while talking | plays with own hair while talking | strokes hair to comfort others | likes having hair stroked for their own comfort | braids others’ hair while talking | braids own hair while talking | flips hair out of face | pushes hair out of face | leaves hair alone even when falling into face.
𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒: Mar Mutthand
Tagged by: A Lyras string Tagging: @wishcast @touchcure @doomedbychoice @fifthdimensicn @inquisitxr @sanguisprince @lary5trong @kuyenkutral @yautjaiisms @menelvagor @cybersvoodoo ...AND YOU! Bold = always applies Italic = sometimes applies/situational Strikethrough = never applies
Broken a bone | Gotten stitches | Had a near-death experience | Killed someone | Tried and failed to kill someone | Spared someone’s life | Invented something | Been hungover | Kissed someone | Slow danced | Been in a long-term relationship | Had sex | Had sex and regretted it | Had a one-night stand | Had a threesome | Experimented with their sexuality | Had a kid | Gotten married | Self-harmed | Traveled to another country | Been in a play | Received an inheritance | Been in a car wreck | Lost a loved one | Been dumped | Dumped someone | Smoked | Gotten high | Been slipped something in their food/drink | Won a contest | Won an election | Joined a sports team | Gone skydiving | Gone hunting | Been in a band | Had a job | Been fired | Been in a wedding party | Owned a pet | Seen a ghost | Skipped class/work | Learned an instrument* | Gotten a noticeable scar | Sued someone | Been robbed | Been mugged | Been kidnapped | Been sexually assaulted | Been brainwashed/hypnotized | Gone more than one day without eating | Had a recurring nightmare** | Been bullied | Bullied someone | Seen someone die | Attempted suicide | Been tied/chained up | Shot someone | Stabbed someone | Saved someone’s life | Cheated on someone | Been cheated on | Had a stalker | Been betrayed | Been in a fight | Been arrested | Been to a funeral | Had surgery | Broken someone’s trust | Gotten a piercing*** | Gotten a tattoo | Used a fake name | Been tortured | Been abused | Been blackmailed | Had an attempt on their life | Gotten away with a crime | Gone on a road trip | Been in love | Fought someone even though you knew you would lose | Shown kindness to an enemy | Forgiven someone who hurt you | Cried in front of an enemy | Feared for your life | Feared for an enemy's life | Grovelled to someone you hate | Kissed the enemy I Nursed a grudge | Taken revenge on someone who hurt you | Given up on revenge |
Learned an instrument: Since she was a child Mar learned to play the Testudo-harph and sing along most songs as part of her education. One lyre is part of the common-owned belongings of her Contuberniums, but Mar is throughtly annoyed of the other members use the lyre as they string the strings too losely.
Had a recurring nightmare: Mar has a shamanistic talent from her orcish side that went completly unnamed, unnoticed and therefor untrained her entire life. Therefor that second face had withered into Mar involuntary hopping into the heads of animals during sleep, which means while her body is very asleep her mind is very awake dragged along the nearest animal to wherever that animal is going to. Mice, cats, birds, dogs..., whatever is near her, whatever is simple and inhuman, whatever is therefor open and easy to enter. For Mar it means just very colourful and exhausting dreams that make her wake up even more tiered than she felt when going to sleep, yet sometimes she remembers scraps of talks that animal had listened to when scuttling by and sometimes she feels as if she is having a deja-vu when walking through corridors she should not know the layout of. Its a creepy feeling for Mar, but she is uncomfortably used to feel alienated and wrong in her own body. Eventually it just leads to Mar beeing typically moody in the morning, because she is not often sleeping well.
Gotten a piercing: Mar has her left ear pierced with four rings- it was a little act of rebellion when the Halforc was a teenager and now she does not bother to take the rings out even if they are technically a safety-hazard when she is in combat. She also has her nipples pierced as all the members of her contubernium have done so together as young adults after they survived their first battle together, but that fact she will take to her grave. Or to the bathhouse, that is. (There is a historical duck that Ceasar had his nipples pierced as a symbol of strenght in his soldier years, but as said, this might just be a histrocial duck.)
9. Are there cultural or lore specific aspects to their identity? If applicable, does their species affect it? ((This one too :3c I am really curious!))
On Mars background: Mar grew up in and lives in a system loosely based on the roman military system, which means for her- she was born in a colonia to a retired soldier (in her case her mother was asked to have her and in exchange got a bigger property, medical care and was allowed to retire ten years earlier and Mar was given to a wet-nurse after birth) , raised for six years and than was send over for education to a city to be keenly trained (and methodically poisoned to make her body get used to the physically enhancing drugs she uses as a adult) for eight years before joining as a soldier. And as a soldier she is expected to serve for twenthy-five years without dying or beeing maimed and than retire in a colonia, accept that she now and only now has voting rights/property/the right to marry and use that new rights to marry and have children and die soon after. Which means for any other soldier naturally that they probably had a spouse and children during those twenthy-five years that are only recognized offically after said soldier retired and is given citizen-rights, but Mar does not like the idea of having a family and risking that she might die and with that leave that familymembers without any property and money to live (There is a fund in her Contubernium in which Mar and the other seven are paying a part of their Sold in, so if one of them dies before retiring, their familymembers that are at this point not official citizen can take from this fund to live).
Which are a lot of words for: Her cultural background does not care about what sexual orientation or gender the person living in it identifys with. The only thing important is that they fullfill the role they had been given and in Mars case thas is that she will live a few more years until her military time ends, she is given property in a colonia, she is given the right to vote, and than has children (adopted or biological hers, although Mar is conviced she is a metaphorical mule as a halforc and therefor infertile ) who will be given themselfs into military service after only a few years because the machine needs wheels. Mar herself thinks that there is no usage of thinking about who she is attracted to and if she is comfortable with beeing precieved as a woman, because it does not change the reality that her body does not belong to her but the army she is serving. She was born, because she would be useful. She was trained, because she would be usedful and she is at the moment another tool to be used. And as someone with no property and not even citizen rights, how could she even think about entering a romantic relationship when she can not offer beeing anything but a soldier?
