“The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown.“ — H.P Lovecraft
Currently reading:
Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice
Margery Kempe by Robert Glück
AO3 ; Masterlist ; Main ; BYF/DNI AND RULES ; Update Schedule
23 yo evil lesbian. In love with my girlfriend. I have incredibly bad taste in media I enjoy. Bad obsession with Adam‘s Fat Uncut Cock (Hazbin Hotel). I follow back from @duratschki
I do NOT consent to the use of my works for creation of further derivative works using AI softwares. This includes softwares such as "Character AI" or anything of a similar manner. Same goes for "training" AI softwares with my writing.
arranged marriage or marriage of convenience and they don't want to force you to sleep in the same bed or even room as them so they're very respectfully saying goodnight before going to their quarters to fuck their fist while thinking about how relaxed you finally seemed after dinner that night
i will never forgive this very popular adam artist for crashing out over adam and lute being hc as queer by their VAs and then deleting that post like a real coward. that cunt is eating up the pride merch rn lmao
Police Officer! Adam x Stripper! Reader x Police Officer! Lute (Hazbin Hotel)
Chapters 1 ; 3 ; Masterlist
Summary: There’s something strange going on in New Orleans. A serial killer is running amok, killing unsuspecting men. Through some crazy way you end up as a suspect, and Adam and Lute are on your ass. What, just because you are a stripper? How rude of them.
Never the less, you have to deal with their erratic behaviour, while your childhood best friend starts acting weirder and weirder.
Tags: Modern AU. Murder Mystery. Abuse of Power. Mention of Stalking. Adam is really into Reader and MILFS. Misogyny.
——
Your mother looks nice, and when she speaks she sounds kind. All her insults are carefully hidden behind honey laced words. Her eyes flickered over your figure, taking in every detail. “You decide to wear this? Aren’t you afraid of freezing?” She sure liked to complain for someone that asked you for help.
Everything that needed covering was covered. Your shoulders, your collarbone, your knees. Fabric was draped over every inch of skin. “I bought a cardigan!” You smile and held up the knitted fabric. At this point, you can guess what she will say.
“Hm, you know, the colours would clash with your dress. Who am I to give you fashion advice, though?” She waved you off with a carefree laugh. You dared to roll your eyes when she turned her back to you. “Don’t roll your eyes at your mother!”
Your mouth dropped open, “I wasn’t!” You totally were. She caught you mid eye roll.
“We need your help in the kitchen. This time, please don’t try to revolutionise the women. Thank you, love.” She pointed to the kitchen as you both walked through the garden.
Instead of working, you were helping your parents throw some sort of church get together. They planned to do a BBQ and welcome new potential members in. This is how they get them, by being oh so nice and helpful and welcome them into a community and then BAM! They are loyal church members, which donate money and keep their wives barefoot and pregnant.
As you entered your childhood home, you had to fight the oppressive air. You squared your shoulders, straightened your back and raised your chin. Nobody will get you down, no matter what.
You opened the kitchen door with a smile, “Hello, everyone!”
Your sister turned around, some looked more happy to see you than others. They practically swarmed you, hands on your body and hair. You were showered in questions. How are you? How is college? Is it exiting? What is it like living alone?
You answered everything with a breathless laugh, returning hugs and kisses. Even though some of the questions repeated themselves over the years, you still kept answering them. Nobody asked about your job, and you didn’t bring it up.
The new women in the group were nice, and you introduced yourself. They were all lovely women. Only sometimes you felt left out of place, when conversations shifted to husbands and children. Your favourite sister-in-law asked you if you could speak with your brother. You promised her you would.
People started to gather in the garden. The wives joined you all in the kitchen, and if they didn’t help, they gossiped. You did like to hear who was caught wearing women’s underwear. You made sure to remember every detail, so you could share it with Alastor later.
Your oldest sister had her lips tightly pressed together, stress clearly showing on her pretty face. She turned to you, and pushed a bowl of salad into your hands. “Put it on the table outside. If anyone eats from it, yell at them. You have my permission.”
Her word was God, so you did take that serious. You were the youngest of 13 siblings, there were 14 of you in total, so your eldest siblings were there for you, to raise you, to comfort you, to support you. Even though they partially failed at the last part. You have forgiven them a long time ago.
Just as you were about to leave the kitchen, a woman entered. She was very beautiful, and short. Her dark brown skin was practically glowing. Her braids framed her soft, round face. She had two boys on her hands, and a nervous smile on her face. “Uhm, excuse me, I was told there was childcare…?”
Your sister jumped in, with a smile. “Of course, let me show you! Boys, what are your names?”
The woman seemed vaguely familiar to you. All you could do was watch her leave. You couldn’t put your finger on it, but the bowl in your hand was heavy. So, you made your way outside. You set the salad down on a bench table. Looking into the sky, you searched for the smoke coming form the grill.
Your mother doesn’t like the smoke near her, so usually your brother grills around a corner. Finally, you found it. With a sigh, you glanced at the kitchen window and sneaked away. You hate domestic work with a passion.
Rounding the corner, you were ready to sneak up on your beloved brother. When you saw Adam with him, your stomach dropped for a second. Just how far does this stalking go? This might be one too far. Hopefully, it is just one creepy coincidence.
With the way Adam’s eyes widen in shock at seeing you, he might really not have known you would be here. This is your home, so technically, he is the intruder. Your brother saw Adam’s expression, and turned around.
“The prodigal daughter returns!” Noah greeted you with a big smile, opening his arm for you. His other hand was occupied with flipping patties and sausages.
You could not hide your own joy, throwing yourself into the side huge. Noah gave your head a kiss, and squeezed your shoulder. You stepped away from him, looking at Adam. “Hello, officer.”
“What the hell are you doing here?” He seemed genuinely confused.
“I live here!” You just wanted to mess with him.
“No, you fucking don’t. You live in the city.” He pointed his finger at you. “You are a city rat.”
That made you throw your head back, laughing. Your brother, protective as ever, didn’t share your humour. With sharp eyes he threatened Adam, “Watch your tone. You won’t be welcomed here next Sunday if you keep that up.”
Adam looked now even more confused. His eyes flickered to you and then your brother, coming to some sort of conclusion. You decided to reveal the big secret. “That’s my big brother. My father is the minister? This is my childhood home?”
Obviously Adam came to the wrong answer, with the way he seemed relieved. Still, the questions didn’t stop. “But you are a—” He stopped himself.
“I am a stripper? You are nearly fours years too late for that blackmailing. Everyone knows.” You just shrugged your shoulders.
Adam raised his eyebrow, “That’s cool. Progressive church?”
“No.” You answered directly. Adam scratched his head. Since he seemed to be lost for words, you turned to your brother. “I heard you are mean to my favourite family member?”
“I was your favourite family member once, you remember? When you were little and always wanted to spend time with me?” He got lost in nostalgia.
“Get your act together. You are lucky you didn’t get stoned to death, yet.” You threatened him.
Noah rolled his eyes and flipped another patty. “Shut up. One day I take over the church, I will show ‘em.” He might be a fully fledged minister, but he just kept to your fathers church. Helping out and taking over when your father is sick or on vacation. He lived with his wife and their 2 children on the property. You loved his wife, she was kind, the real kind that seems to go extinct.
And he is gay. She knows, you know and that is about it. You like to joke he infected you with he gay virus, only you half recovered. He never thought that was funny. You do hope he turns the church gay. Maybe a gay club? That’d be sick.
Your brother put the last of the meat into the pot. “Food is ready.” He picked up the huge container and made his way to the table, leaving you behind with Adam.
Adam and you stood there, awkwardly. “I haven’t seen Lute around, is she not stalking me anymore?”
Adam smiled, “Why? You miss her? Don’t worry about her, she is one bad ass bitch. She is busy with investigation.” He didn’t mention anything about the kiss, she must have not told him then.
“And why haven’t you been around?” You couldn’t help but ask.
“Me? I have been busy fucking pussy, obviously.” Now that was a lie.
“I will go ask my brother.” You feigned turning around, and Adam was quick to stop you.
“Do not! Fuck, I have been going through divorce papers with my wife.” He confessed, rubbing his neck.
You gasped. “What did you do?”
Adam seemed offended at that question. “Me?! Bitch, nothing! She is a cheating whore, that is what fucking happened. If you see her, offer her job at your club. She would fit right in.”
You sharply inhaled. “Ah. My condolences. At least you don’t have children.” Adam made a guilty face, and you starred at him. “…How many?”
“Two idiot boys. I would exchange those two for a lap dance, if you are interested.” He tried to ease up the tense atmosphere.
You giggled, “No, thank you. I have got to go, before my fellow women report me missing.” Turning around, you left Adam behind.
‿̩͙⊱༒︎༻♱༺༒︎⊰‿̩͙
You ate so much, you felt sick. Most people have already left, only the real close circle kept sticking around. Which apparently included Adam and his family? They were still here.
Eve was attending to the children with the other women. Keeping babies and toddlers entertained. You finally recognised her. She was in your club, as a customer. She was there with a blond couple. She acts awkward and uncomfortable around you, making it worse. If she acted normal, nobody would act like that. You wonder if you should tell Adam, or if it would make things worse for his emotional state.
Pulling your cardigans tighter around you, you stretched your legs out in front of you. You sat separated from others, by your own choice. There were empty chairs around you, and you hoped nobody would sit down near you.
The creak of plastic made you jolt, and you looked at your right to see Adam sitting down on a chair close to you. There was still a comfortable distance between you two, which was quickly destroyed by Adam scooting closer to you. He starred at your face, and you wondered what he wants from you.
“Ask away.” You bury your hands in the pockets of your cardigan.
“Why strip? I don’t fucking get it, I saw the degrees in the house. Your siblings all got diplomas.” Adam seemed irritated, as if you were stupid. “Obviously your parents would have paid for college.”
“Brother’s.” You correct him.
“What?”
“These are my brother’s degrees. If you are a son, you get to go to college. If you are a daughter, you don’t get a college fund.” You inform him, trying to keep your voice even and rational.
Adam blinked at you, “You are lying to me.” Because that was easier than facing the truth.
“Nope! You know, I begged and begged to go to college. I said they can choose my degree, I will live at home, I will have a curfew, I will help out at church. My father refused. He said education isn’t for girls.” You kicked a pebble with your sneakers, which your mother said made your ankles look wide, “So, one night I just left. With Alastor, of course. We each got our own apartments and Mammon gave me a job.”
“Fuck. I didn’t realise it was that bad.”
You shrug your shoulders. “My mother and most of my sisters struggle with reading and basic math. They were all home schooled, kept stupid to be more docile. My brothers of course had private tutors. The only reason I went to public school is because I loved Alastor so much, and never wanted to be separated from him, and I am the youngest, so my parents just gave up with me.”
Adam pressed his lips together, he looked away from you, towards the plants your mother had carefully planted. He is a sexist, but apparently even he draws the line somewhere.
“How did you even meet Alastor?” Adam’s eyes were focused on the flowers now.
“Hm, his mother and father were both church members here. He was the only fun child in the group.” Alastor was always up to no good with you, he was just better at hiding his tracks. Thankfully, he took you under his wing and showed you how to plan and scheme. Everyone likes to say that you corrupted him, but it is more the other way around.
“They are not members anymore?” What is he so interested in your best friend?
“They are dead.”
“Fuck, I gotta stop asking questions. At least in my private life, I still need it for work.” Adam groaned.
“You know what’s funny?” You were in a sharing mood now.
“What?” Adam spread his leg, his knee pushing into your thigh.
“When my family found out about me stripping, everyone went crazy, right? And then, my father called me. He told me he accepts my deal. I will move back home, he will choose a degree for me, I will have a strict curfew and he will pay for it.” You laughed at the memory. “And I told him no, like, what the hell? I am totally independent now? Why would I ever accept that shitty proposition? Anyway, he hasn’t talked to me ever since. He just ignores me and vice versa.”
Adam laughed with you, “Some people are just dumb like that.” He stopped mid laugh, “You think it is bad I called my minister dumb?”
Biting down on your lip to stifle the laughter, you shook your head. “You should change churches. The higher your donations, the more likely you are to be forgiven for infidelity here. I have seen it now multiple times. The very thing Luther lost his marbles over.”
“Damn it. I hate cheating. It just sucks ass, just break up with me? Or separate?” He massaged his forehead. Then, he pointed at a chubby, blond boy. “You think he looks like me?”
Squinting your eyes, you looked at the boy. He was currently crying, while his older brother stood by him. The crying didn’t deter the older boy, and he shoved his brother again.
“The blonde one, kinda? But the older one, that is all you.” You leaned back in your chair. “Cute kids.” You watched as Eve got to the boys, and picked up the blonde one, comforting him. The older one watched in envy as his brother was carried away.
“You want marriage and children?” Adam asked.
You turned your head to look at Adam, and you noticed that he had taken his weeding ring off. There was only a pale sliver of skin left, where once the golden band sat. His hair had grey streaks, and his eye bags shone through his olive skin.
“Marriage maybe. Children no.” You answer truthfully.
“Why no kids? A bump would look sexy on you.” Adam grinned, arms crossed behind his head.
Your hands flew to your stomach, “Bitch, don’t wish something evil like that on me. Besides, have you seen this figure? I am not letting anyone ruin that. I also only let hot women suck on my tits.” You made sure to keep your voice low, so you don’t get in trouble for your words.
“Shut up. Mom bods are hot, trust me. Who are you going to marry then?” Adam seemed genuinely interested.
“Alastor, probably.” You shove your hands pack into the cardigan pockets. It was starting to get cold.
Adam rolled his eyes, “Why that twink?”
You chuckled at that, “Because he is always there for me, and the benefits are great. From taxes to having medical authority. I don’t want my family to pull the plug on me—or worse, they don't pull the plug. You know?”
“You are such a pretty girl, you could do much better than some low radio host.” Adam just shakes his head.
“Like what? A police officer?” You raise your eye brow at him.
“Why not?” Adam doesn’t even pretend to be bashful. “You want my phone number?”
“No. Did you know that 40% of police officer families experience domestic violence? Now think how high the number of unreported cases is.” You cross your ankles.
“How did you even come up with that number?” He sounded whiny. “It doesn’t even matter. I got your phone number, you will hear form me.” Adam basically threatened you.
“How do you have my number?” You snapped your head towards Adam.
Adam shrugged, a grin on his face as if it was Christmas. “Don’t worry about it, baby.”
“I really hate you.” Is all you could grumble out. Adam was giving you a headache. Before Adam could give some response, you spotted a familiar figure. There he finally was. “Alastor!” Your whole face light up.
Alastor’s eyes focused in on you, and he smiled. His long legs easily carried him over to you. “Hello, my dear. I see you are in need of rescue.”
“I am! I missed you.” You were quick to pull a chair close to you, having Alastor sit down. “Did you eat?”
“I did.” Alastor crossed his legs. “I am here with my car. Do you already know when you would like to leave?”
“Soon. Did you say hello to everyone?” You asked, resting your head on Alastor’s broad shoulder.
“Of course. It is the polite thing to do. We can leave whenever you would like, darling.” Alastor reassured you. His finger tapped against his thigh, as he unhappily glanced at Adam.
“The fuck are you looking at?” Adam hissed out, defences up.
Alastor sighed dramatically. “It is sad how church has lost its prestigious imagine, wouldn’t you agree? Just letting any feral stray into a flock of sheep.” Oh boy, you really don’t need the two men to fight.
Adam glared at Alastor, “I will show you feral stray, you—” He was interrupted by his son running up to him. The older boy climbed in his father’s lap eagerly.
“Dad! Mom said we should leave!” His voice sounded rough from playing all day. He chased a lot of children around with a stick.
Adam threw one last glare at Alastor, before taking his son into his arms. “Yeah, Cain? If your mother says it is time to leave, it means we gotta leave.” He turned to you, and only you. “I will see you around.” Adam stuck his tongue out to Alastor, and cain was quick to copy his father. With that they left, meeting up with Eve and the blond kid, and walking away.
“That man should not reproduce.” Alastor looked towards the sky.
“I know, right?” You stood up. “Let’s get out of here, I just want to go home and pass out.”
As Adam drove his own family home, he couldn’t help but let his thoughts wander. You weren’t the man-killer, that was for sure. Your multiple alibi fit, and you also didn’t belong in the profile that his team has constructed.
His memory flickered to the security footage of the club, where the college student was last seen. He was harassing you, but you left and he talked to you on the way home. Alastor on the other hand lingered around, only leaving when the man did.
Because he is always there for me.
Shit, that creepy fucker might be a real ride or die. Emphasis on the die.
Police Officer! Adam x Stripper! Reader x Police Officer! Lute (Hazbin Hotel)
Chapters 1 ; 3 ; Masterlist
Summary: There’s something strange going on in New Orleans. A serial killer is running amok, killing unsuspecting men. Through some crazy way you end up as a suspect, and Adam and Lute are on your ass. What, just because you are a stripper? How rude of them.
Never the less, you have to deal with their erratic behaviour, while your childhood best friend starts acting weirder and weirder.
Tags: Modern AU. Murder Mystery. Abuse of Power. Mention of Stalking. Adam is really into Reader and MILFS. Misogyny.
——
Your mother looks nice, and when she speaks she sounds kind. All her insults are carefully hidden behind honey laced words. Her eyes flickered over your figure, taking in every detail. “You decide to wear this? Aren’t you afraid of freezing?” She sure liked to complain for someone that asked you for help.
Everything that needed covering was covered. Your shoulders, your collarbone, your knees. Fabric was draped over every inch of skin. “I bought a cardigan!” You smile and held up the knitted fabric. At this point, you can guess what she will say.
“Hm, you know, the colours would clash with your dress. Who am I to give you fashion advice, though?” She waved you off with a carefree laugh. You dared to roll your eyes when she turned her back to you. “Don’t roll your eyes at your mother!”
Your mouth dropped open, “I wasn’t!” You totally were. She caught you mid eye roll.
“We need your help in the kitchen. This time, please don’t try to revolutionise the women. Thank you, love.” She pointed to the kitchen as you both walked through the garden.
Instead of working, you were helping your parents throw some sort of church get together. They planned to do a BBQ and welcome new potential members in. This is how they get them, by being oh so nice and helpful and welcome them into a community and then BAM! They are loyal church members, which donate money and keep their wives barefoot and pregnant.
As you entered your childhood home, you had to fight the oppressive air. You squared your shoulders, straightened your back and raised your chin. Nobody will get you down, no matter what.
You opened the kitchen door with a smile, “Hello, everyone!”
Your sister turned around, some looked more happy to see you than others. They practically swarmed you, hands on your body and hair. You were showered in questions. How are you? How is college? Is it exiting? What is it like living alone?
You answered everything with a breathless laugh, returning hugs and kisses. Even though some of the questions repeated themselves over the years, you still kept answering them. Nobody asked about your job, and you didn’t bring it up.
The new women in the group were nice, and you introduced yourself. They were all lovely women. Only sometimes you felt left out of place, when conversations shifted to husbands and children. Your favourite sister-in-law asked you if you could speak with your brother. You promised her you would.
People started to gather in the garden. The wives joined you all in the kitchen, and if they didn’t help, they gossiped. You did like to hear who was caught wearing women’s underwear. You made sure to remember every detail, so you could share it with Alastor later.
Your oldest sister had her lips tightly pressed together, stress clearly showing on her pretty face. She turned to you, and pushed a bowl of salad into your hands. “Put it on the table outside. If anyone eats from it, yell at them. You have my permission.”
Her word was God, so you did take that serious. You were the youngest of 13 siblings, there were 14 of you in total, so your eldest siblings were there for you, to raise you, to comfort you, to support you. Even though they partially failed at the last part. You have forgiven them a long time ago.
Just as you were about to leave the kitchen, a woman entered. She was very beautiful, and short. Her dark brown skin was practically glowing. Her braids framed her soft, round face. She had two boys on her hands, and a nervous smile on her face. “Uhm, excuse me, I was told there was childcare…?”
Your sister jumped in, with a smile. “Of course, let me show you! Boys, what are your names?”
The woman seemed vaguely familiar to you. All you could do was watch her leave. You couldn’t put your finger on it, but the bowl in your hand was heavy. So, you made your way outside. You set the salad down on a bench table. Looking into the sky, you searched for the smoke coming form the grill.
Your mother doesn’t like the smoke near her, so usually your brother grills around a corner. Finally, you found it. With a sigh, you glanced at the kitchen window and sneaked away. You hate domestic work with a passion.
Rounding the corner, you were ready to sneak up on your beloved brother. When you saw Adam with him, your stomach dropped for a second. Just how far does this stalking go? This might be one too far. Hopefully, it is just one creepy coincidence.
With the way Adam’s eyes widen in shock at seeing you, he might really not have known you would be here. This is your home, so technically, he is the intruder. Your brother saw Adam’s expression, and turned around.
“The prodigal daughter returns!” Noah greeted you with a big smile, opening his arm for you. His other hand was occupied with flipping patties and sausages.
You could not hide your own joy, throwing yourself into the side huge. Noah gave your head a kiss, and squeezed your shoulder. You stepped away from him, looking at Adam. “Hello, officer.”
“What the hell are you doing here?” He seemed genuinely confused.
“I live here!” You just wanted to mess with him.
“No, you fucking don’t. You live in the city.” He pointed his finger at you. “You are a city rat.”
That made you throw your head back, laughing. Your brother, protective as ever, didn’t share your humour. With sharp eyes he threatened Adam, “Watch your tone. You won’t be welcomed here next Sunday if you keep that up.”
Adam looked now even more confused. His eyes flickered to you and then your brother, coming to some sort of conclusion. You decided to reveal the big secret. “That’s my big brother. My father is the minister? This is my childhood home?”
Obviously Adam came to the wrong answer, with the way he seemed relieved. Still, the questions didn’t stop. “But you are a—” He stopped himself.
“I am a stripper? You are nearly fours years too late for that blackmailing. Everyone knows.” You just shrugged your shoulders.
Adam raised his eyebrow, “That’s cool. Progressive church?”
“No.” You answered directly. Adam scratched his head. Since he seemed to be lost for words, you turned to your brother. “I heard you are mean to my favourite family member?”
“I was your favourite family member once, you remember? When you were little and always wanted to spend time with me?” He got lost in nostalgia.
“Get your act together. You are lucky you didn’t get stoned to death, yet.” You threatened him.
Noah rolled his eyes and flipped another patty. “Shut up. One day I take over the church, I will show ‘em.” He might be a fully fledged minister, but he just kept to your fathers church. Helping out and taking over when your father is sick or on vacation. He lived with his wife and their 2 children on the property. You loved his wife, she was kind, the real kind that seems to go extinct.
And he is gay. She knows, you know and that is about it. You like to joke he infected you with he gay virus, only you half recovered. He never thought that was funny. You do hope he turns the church gay. Maybe a gay club? That’d be sick.
Your brother put the last of the meat into the pot. “Food is ready.” He picked up the huge container and made his way to the table, leaving you behind with Adam.
Adam and you stood there, awkwardly. “I haven’t seen Lute around, is she not stalking me anymore?”
Adam smiled, “Why? You miss her? Don’t worry about her, she is one bad ass bitch. She is busy with investigation.” He didn’t mention anything about the kiss, she must have not told him then.
“And why haven’t you been around?” You couldn’t help but ask.
“Me? I have been busy fucking pussy, obviously.” Now that was a lie.
“I will go ask my brother.” You feigned turning around, and Adam was quick to stop you.
“Do not! Fuck, I have been going through divorce papers with my wife.” He confessed, rubbing his neck.
You gasped. “What did you do?”
Adam seemed offended at that question. “Me?! Bitch, nothing! She is a cheating whore, that is what fucking happened. If you see her, offer her job at your club. She would fit right in.”
You sharply inhaled. “Ah. My condolences. At least you don’t have children.” Adam made a guilty face, and you starred at him. “…How many?”
“Two idiot boys. I would exchange those two for a lap dance, if you are interested.” He tried to ease up the tense atmosphere.
You giggled, “No, thank you. I have got to go, before my fellow women report me missing.” Turning around, you left Adam behind.
‿̩͙⊱༒︎༻♱༺༒︎⊰‿̩͙
You ate so much, you felt sick. Most people have already left, only the real close circle kept sticking around. Which apparently included Adam and his family? They were still here.
Eve was attending to the children with the other women. Keeping babies and toddlers entertained. You finally recognised her. She was in your club, as a customer. She was there with a blond couple. She acts awkward and uncomfortable around you, making it worse. If she acted normal, nobody would act like that. You wonder if you should tell Adam, or if it would make things worse for his emotional state.
Pulling your cardigans tighter around you, you stretched your legs out in front of you. You sat separated from others, by your own choice. There were empty chairs around you, and you hoped nobody would sit down near you.
The creak of plastic made you jolt, and you looked at your right to see Adam sitting down on a chair close to you. There was still a comfortable distance between you two, which was quickly destroyed by Adam scooting closer to you. He starred at your face, and you wondered what he wants from you.
“Ask away.” You bury your hands in the pockets of your cardigan.
“Why strip? I don’t fucking get it, I saw the degrees in the house. Your siblings all got diplomas.” Adam seemed irritated, as if you were stupid. “Obviously your parents would have paid for college.”
“Brother’s.” You correct him.
“What?”
“These are my brother’s degrees. If you are a son, you get to go to college. If you are a daughter, you don’t get a college fund.” You inform him, trying to keep your voice even and rational.
Adam blinked at you, “You are lying to me.” Because that was easier than facing the truth.
“Nope! You know, I begged and begged to go to college. I said they can choose my degree, I will live at home, I will have a curfew, I will help out at church. My father refused. He said education isn’t for girls.” You kicked a pebble with your sneakers, which your mother said made your ankles look wide, “So, one night I just left. With Alastor, of course. We each got our own apartments and Mammon gave me a job.”
“Fuck. I didn’t realise it was that bad.”
You shrug your shoulders. “My mother and most of my sisters struggle with reading and basic math. They were all home schooled, kept stupid to be more docile. My brothers of course had private tutors. The only reason I went to public school is because I loved Alastor so much, and never wanted to be separated from him, and I am the youngest, so my parents just gave up with me.”
Adam pressed his lips together, he looked away from you, towards the plants your mother had carefully planted. He is a sexist, but apparently even he draws the line somewhere.
“How did you even meet Alastor?” Adam’s eyes were focused on the flowers now.
“Hm, his mother and father were both church members here. He was the only fun child in the group.” Alastor was always up to no good with you, he was just better at hiding his tracks. Thankfully, he took you under his wing and showed you how to plan and scheme. Everyone likes to say that you corrupted him, but it is more the other way around.
“They are not members anymore?” What is he so interested in your best friend?
“They are dead.”
“Fuck, I gotta stop asking questions. At least in my private life, I still need it for work.” Adam groaned.
“You know what’s funny?” You were in a sharing mood now.
“What?” Adam spread his leg, his knee pushing into your thigh.
“When my family found out about me stripping, everyone went crazy, right? And then, my father called me. He told me he accepts my deal. I will move back home, he will choose a degree for me, I will have a strict curfew and he will pay for it.” You laughed at the memory. “And I told him no, like, what the hell? I am totally independent now? Why would I ever accept that shitty proposition? Anyway, he hasn’t talked to me ever since. He just ignores me and vice versa.”
Adam laughed with you, “Some people are just dumb like that.” He stopped mid laugh, “You think it is bad I called my minister dumb?”
Biting down on your lip to stifle the laughter, you shook your head. “You should change churches. The higher your donations, the more likely you are to be forgiven for infidelity here. I have seen it now multiple times. The very thing Luther lost his marbles over.”
“Damn it. I hate cheating. It just sucks ass, just break up with me? Or separate?” He massaged his forehead. Then, he pointed at a chubby, blond boy. “You think he looks like me?”
Squinting your eyes, you looked at the boy. He was currently crying, while his older brother stood by him. The crying didn’t deter the older boy, and he shoved his brother again.
“The blonde one, kinda? But the older one, that is all you.” You leaned back in your chair. “Cute kids.” You watched as Eve got to the boys, and picked up the blonde one, comforting him. The older one watched in envy as his brother was carried away.
“You want marriage and children?” Adam asked.
You turned your head to look at Adam, and you noticed that he had taken his weeding ring off. There was only a pale sliver of skin left, where once the golden band sat. His hair had grey streaks, and his eye bags shone through his olive skin.
“Marriage maybe. Children no.” You answer truthfully.
“Why no kids? A bump would look sexy on you.” Adam grinned, arms crossed behind his head.
Your hands flew to your stomach, “Bitch, don’t wish something evil like that on me. Besides, have you seen this figure? I am not letting anyone ruin that. I also only let hot women suck on my tits.” You made sure to keep your voice low, so you don’t get in trouble for your words.
“Shut up. Mom bods are hot, trust me. Who are you going to marry then?” Adam seemed genuinely interested.
“Alastor, probably.” You shove your hands pack into the cardigan pockets. It was starting to get cold.
Adam rolled his eyes, “Why that twink?”
You chuckled at that, “Because he is always there for me, and the benefits are great. From taxes to having medical authority. I don’t want my family to pull the plug on me—or worse, they don't pull the plug. You know?”
“You are such a pretty girl, you could do much better than some low radio host.” Adam just shakes his head.
“Like what? A police officer?” You raise your eye brow at him.
“Why not?” Adam doesn’t even pretend to be bashful. “You want my phone number?”
“No. Did you know that 40% of police officer families experience domestic violence? Now think how high the number of unreported cases is.” You cross your ankles.
“How did you even come up with that number?” He sounded whiny. “It doesn’t even matter. I got your phone number, you will hear form me.” Adam basically threatened you.
“How do you have my number?” You snapped your head towards Adam.
Adam shrugged, a grin on his face as if it was Christmas. “Don’t worry about it, baby.”
“I really hate you.” Is all you could grumble out. Adam was giving you a headache. Before Adam could give some response, you spotted a familiar figure. There he finally was. “Alastor!” Your whole face light up.
Alastor’s eyes focused in on you, and he smiled. His long legs easily carried him over to you. “Hello, my dear. I see you are in need of rescue.”
“I am! I missed you.” You were quick to pull a chair close to you, having Alastor sit down. “Did you eat?”
“I did.” Alastor crossed his legs. “I am here with my car. Do you already know when you would like to leave?”
“Soon. Did you say hello to everyone?” You asked, resting your head on Alastor’s broad shoulder.
“Of course. It is the polite thing to do. We can leave whenever you would like, darling.” Alastor reassured you. His finger tapped against his thigh, as he unhappily glanced at Adam.
“The fuck are you looking at?” Adam hissed out, defences up.
Alastor sighed dramatically. “It is sad how church has lost its prestigious imagine, wouldn’t you agree? Just letting any feral stray into a flock of sheep.” Oh boy, you really don’t need the two men to fight.
Adam glared at Alastor, “I will show you feral stray, you—” He was interrupted by his son running up to him. The older boy climbed in his father’s lap eagerly.
“Dad! Mom said we should leave!” His voice sounded rough from playing all day. He chased a lot of children around with a stick.
Adam threw one last glare at Alastor, before taking his son into his arms. “Yeah, Cain? If your mother says it is time to leave, it means we gotta leave.” He turned to you, and only you. “I will see you around.” Adam stuck his tongue out to Alastor, and cain was quick to copy his father. With that they left, meeting up with Eve and the blond kid, and walking away.
“That man should not reproduce.” Alastor looked towards the sky.
“I know, right?” You stood up. “Let’s get out of here, I just want to go home and pass out.”
As Adam drove his own family home, he couldn’t help but let his thoughts wander. You weren’t the man-killer, that was for sure. Your multiple alibi fit, and you also didn’t belong in the profile that his team has constructed.
His memory flickered to the security footage of the club, where the college student was last seen. He was harassing you, but you left and he talked to you on the way home. Alastor on the other hand lingered around, only leaving when the man did.
Because he is always there for me.
Shit, that creepy fucker might be a real ride or die. Emphasis on the die.
