Why is sex always unfulfilling for me and how do I fix it? I can never orgasm from it n it just doesn't feel that good physically.
He keeps slipping out and can't even get it properly lined up himself.
And I'm a very kinky person but it feels like I almost feel too safe and too loved with him. We just can't roleplay power imbalance properly even if he physically overpowers me.
I've always had problems having orgasms by myself too.
(I am a trans man using he/him)
from the sounds of it this is standard penetrative sex? because I have the exact same issue, basically a LOT of people with vaginas don't actually get much pleasure from penetration, unless under specific circumstances. it's just different person to person.
while I cant really comment on if it's to do with you feeling 'too loved' with him, maybe you need to explore some other methods together. not necessarily kinky stuff, just stuff that might be more pleasurable for you (I'm sure you can imagine, no need for a list lol).
I know you said you've always had issues even orgasming by yourself, I'm pretty sure some people just take longer/more work than others and that's just how it is unfortunately.
Thank you :3 yes, it was an open question, I really do want advice besides just ranting myself.
It is about standard penetrative sex but him trying to masturbate or finger me feels even worse. I barely feel it and it just hurts when he's rough. Touching makes me dysphoric so I don't really have experience with how to do it myself and he's inexperienced too (I'm his first trans guy/person with a pussy)
If you mean masturbating together/me using toys, I didn't cum that times either. (tho I haven't tied many toys yet) We couldn't try anal yet either.
My orgasms have never felt rlly good before and I just hoped sex could change that. It just feels good and builds up and then I cramp up and its just gone. No high like smut describes it. (I didn't exactly have good sexual education lmao)
okay glad I wasn't overstepping haha.
I did kind of mean using toys and stuff, but also eating out if you'd both be comfortable with that? but again, might be person to person, I personally don't like the idea of it even tho apparently it's awesome :/
are you sure that what Ur describing isn't just a orgasm? I mean it is great but it isn't revolutionary, smut is often exaggerated for the sake of better writing/making it hotter. an orgasm is basically just a lot of the same pleasure you get from masturbating just at once, and fizzles out after like 5-10 seconds. i at least definitely wouldn't describe it as a 'high'.
legit not trying to talk down or anything but as you said you didn't have much sex ed and how you described getting info from smut, thought it good to mention that it might not be a realistic picture of what it feels like.
If I can add- if your body is uncomfortable, your sex(and orgasms) are probably going to be not great. If touching yourself at all causes dysphoria, i imagine it is going to be quite difficult to let yourself enjoy sex at all.
Tbh, if this is bothering you this much, you might just want to go to a therapist? Like, a sex therapist? Those do exist, and idk, we’re internet randos and not actual psychologists or trained in this.