Shadows in the Cave - Notes on an Incursion - Ghost Hunters
ASSET PIOUS LULLUBY is a pair of FRIENDLIES who have risked life and limb on multiple occasions to limit the damage caused by FOREIGN incursions into America. While not read into the true state of play, they have provided vital assistance to S-CELL on OPERATIONS SHADOWED ZEPHYR and JAUNDICED TRIANGLE. After TRIANGLE, AGENT SAMPSON chose to establish a concrete line of communication and working relationship with them and provide a very limited briefing on the scope of PATRIOT activities in the central United States. This note is being forwarded to F-CELL to act as introduction and dossier to any other Cells who encounter or have reason to contact them.
PIOUS LULLUBY is a married couple in their late 30s. Originally from Rhode Island, they have spent years travelling across the Heartland for their work. They are, to be crude, professional ghost hunters. Unlike the usual frauds and scam artists going by the title, PIOUS LULLUBY are serious and sincere about their work and know exactly what they are talking about. This is difficult for anyone who hasn’t seen them in action to believe, but the best circumstantial proof S-CELL can offer is that they don’t charge those they help for their service, nor do they maintain any sort of social media presence or attempt to use what their clients suffer through for ‘viral fame’.
PIOUS LULLUBY does not understand how dire the big picture is or the exact nature of what they deal with, and have a very limited view of the ways FOREIGN agents can manifest in the world. But for a couple who developed their understanding with nothing but their own research skills and Scripture, they’re closer than they have any right to be. Their understanding of the world is roughly as follows:
God and the Devil are real, and their agents are fighting for the fate of the world
What we call ‘ABROAD’ is Hell, and its agents are the ghosts of witches and sinners, or just outright demons
They are powerful but limited: forced to haunt places, things or eventually people
They are unable to directly harm those they haunt, but are very capable of driving them mad and manipulating them into horrific acts or (as a worse-case scenario) possessing the corrupt and weak-willed outright
PIOUS LULLUBY and other devout, knowledgeable people like them can intervene and save those being haunted before it's too late
None of the above (except on lucky days the last point) is actually right, but it is close enough that S-CELL has seen no point in straining a valuable working relationship by making the differences a point of principle. The help they have offered PATRIOT operations is much too useful to risk over pointless technicalities.
Alright fine, I don’t see why this shit matters to anyone but word came down to be polite. You wanna pay for a ghost story, I can give you a ghost story.
So, this was back in, shit, the ‘40s? ‘50s? My uncle I got this from was a little brat and his dad was a big man in the neighborhood. And these people are all maybe 10 years from being peasants in the mountains, they’re all dumb as shit, kiss an icon every morning because they think it keeps the milk from spoiling. Fucking dirt for brains, of course they think every bullshit artist telling them ghosts and angels are the cause of all their problems is telling god’s own truth. No offense.
But anyway. So it happened that one of the rickety old slums everyone was living in back then has this reputation for being haunted - no shit it does, I’ve seen what the wiring and pipes for those places looked like, and they say my properties are bad, can you believe it? - and also everyone is poor, desperate, and half of them are drinking lead or inhaling mould or something. So someone goes insane or dies and their family’s convinced it’s because of ghosts. They got desperate, started going to church, and then going around looking for help from other people too.
So that’s where the Pembrooke’s come in. They’re this uptight old money New England married couple. ‘Came here on the Mayflower’ types, you know. Old enough for people to take seriously, young and good-looking enough that a smile and seeming like they cared opened a lot of doors. Probably supposed to think we were all going to hell for not being Episocpalian or something, but acted like they just liked everyone who was Christian. Real exorcists or ghost hunters or demonologists, famous across five states, the bone fide experts to come to with all the spooky rattling ducts and bad insulation. And hey you know, fair cop. They were the real experts on demon shit, if you think about it.
So anyway, the family found them, begged them for help, invited them back to the ratty walk-up and asked them to find all the ghosts and goblins hiding in it. Which is when everything really started going to shit.
I hope this letter finds you well, my friend. And I do hope you will forgive my affectation of replying with an actual letter, and a hand-written one at that. Given our mutual interests, a modicum of paranoia in one’s correspondence is hardly the most unbecoming idiosyncrasy you’ve likely encountered.
Your questions leave me quite curious as to just what you’ve been busying yourself with in the land of sun and cattle, and I would consider it full repayment for this information if you could enlighten me. It took no small amount of research to identify prior cases of the phenomenon, but I prevailed upon Dr. Sinclair - a savant at this sort of archival research I have the privilege to arrange funding and support for - to persevere. You are speaking of what might be called (should you be as horribly dreary as you’re wont to) Phobophages. For those with a bit of poetry in their hearts, they can be called wolves in sheepdog’s skin or (as the sources prefer) devils quoting scripture.
You are as painfully aware as I that reaching out to the more elevated levels of reality is a troublesome and laborious business, and that is after nearly a century of it becoming steadily easier. You are likewise thoroughly acquainted with how the incitement of great passions and sacrifices of body or mind are profoundly helpful in easing the way for such workings. Our great common endeavor is hardly the first collective to apply a degree of sustained thought to these things. Most of our predecessors were, I’m sorry to say, far less concerned with such trivialities as ethical philosophy and the lives of their fellow men.
The story begins in England in the 17th century, when witch-hunting was all the rage. Josiah Pell was the rare man who actually deserved the title, and he had the thought that the best way to remove his rivals and help himself to all their arts was to be the one spearheading their denunciation. The eventual testimony of a servant recounts how wrathful he was at finding not a single true practitioner of Higher Arts among the first handful he saw flogged or sent to their graves. Then he made his great innovation - for even if the curses and hauntings the poor ‘witches’ were accused of were all fantasy, it was fantasy most of the accusers believed to their core.
Roused and heightened, that belief could become precisely the sort of all-consuming obsession that any true Practitioner could make excellent use of.
PIOUS LULLUBY have worked in the field for nearly a decade, and intervened in dozens of potential FOREIGN incursions. A large majority were false alarms of some type, but there have been enough actual incidents to make them significantly more experienced than most PATRIOT Agents, and much less insane or crippled than most Agents as experienced as them.
S-CELL first encountered LULLUBY in the course of OPERATION SHADOWED ZEPHYR, when both groups independently investigated a grisly trio of occult murder-suicides. Unlike most similar cases, these deaths actually were ultimately caused by a FOREIGN Entity influencing the actions of men in a sleepy suburban community. PIOUS LULLUBY was already present on the scene at the request of a local church leader when things began escalating and, after AGENT SAMPSON decided to make limited contact using his cover identity, was vital in identifying and quarantining the FOREIGN Entity for S-CELL to eliminate before it could destroy another family. Standard cover protocol for potential Friendly ASSETS was observed, and they were happy to assist what they believed to be an off-the-books FBI Task Force dedicated to the paranatural. They were extremely gratified to hear the government was taking these matters seriously, and enthusiastic in offering their aid for any future OPERATIONS in the region. AGENT SIERRA duly recorded all available information about them for future vetting.
This became relevant during the recently completed OPERATION JAUNDICED TRIANGLE (see After-Action Report submitted simultaneously with this dossier), just over a year later. S-CELL had been assigned the low-priority case of a pair of disappearances associated with an infamously haunted property within its normal area of operations, and quickly discovered signs of FOREIGN cult activity. However, despite over a week of active investigation, S-CELL was unable to find any actionable leads connecting to them. AGENT SAMPSON contacted LULLBY for advice, and the couple instead volunteered to join S-CELL on-site and assist with the investigation directly.
With their help, evidence pointing to the source of the FOREIGN incursion was found within 48 hours. Every member of the cult, based around a local daycare both the vanished children had been entrusted to, was identified and apprehended or eliminated over the course of the next week. Careful management of evidence, and the local press and police, allowed for the peripheral members and complicit staff to be arrested and given appropriate treatment by the legal system, while the knowing FOREIGN agents at its heart were confronted in their homes. If there was any doubt about the severity of the situation, the monstrous transformations each of them underwent when in danger and the paraphernalia discovered in their homes settled it.
So the building it’s a rickety walk-up, families packed in their like sardines, got torn down for condos in the ‘90s. Way too many kids for anyone to keep track of, everyone working 12 hours a day, everyone kinda relying on each other to make sure no one jumped off the fire escape. The Pembrookes, took one of them two days flat to find newspaper articles and obits proving some crazy bitch back at the turn of the century had fed her kids rat poison. They convince the family who brought them on that their kid died because someone poisoned him, because an evil witch’s ghost was making them do it. And grief makes you stupid, and they were pretty convincing, because all of them basically bought it even though everyone else was pretty sure that it was obvious bullshit.
Then another kid turned up dead, and someone bothered checking and it was rat poison, brand they didn’t even make any more. That got people worked up. And then another. A couple weeks later, the whole building was taking them pretty damn seriously.
When they fingered some widow on the fifth floor, whole mob broke her door right in. Y’know what they found? Rat poison. Worse shit too. Shit to make you believe she really was a witch. No one ever bothered calling the cops about it, if you get what I mean.
A couple weeks later, another kid. Pembrooke’s got called back, said that the ghost must be possessing someone else. Said they would need to do a proper kinda exorcism, and that them being around made it think it was in a real fight and it was time to get the knives out.
Look, most of my life I thought this was all bullshit. Mould infestation or something. Then Uncle Andre started using me for real work and I met you people so, maybe not. But the stories were just playing the fucking hits, you know? Pentagrams and speaking in tongues and milk spoiling in your mouth. People kept dying, and people kept getting “exorcised”, which didn’t leave them any better off. Was my grandpa, God love him, who finally found a second brain cell somewhere and realized the only people who weren’t being put through the fucking wringer by everything were the Pembrooke’s.
I mean, God doesn’t love him, seeing as what he did next was go looking for a bigger monster to feed them to. He had sketchy as fuck friends all over already, by then, and one of them put him in touch with Grandmother. She’s got a soft spot for peasant idiots from back home, and took offense at the whole situation, offered to help. It’s how he - and Uncle Andre, and me - started working for her, and then Mr. K. Guessing you’ve got the same sort of story if you look back far enough.
Weird how a old woman in a headscarf and a pair of rich fucks looking on their way to a wedding can be the scariest people in the whole city, right? Story has a happy ending, ‘cause when they met our monster had the bigger dick. Under the fancy clothing and nice hair, the Pembrookes’ were everything they’d eaten. Grandmother started with their normal faces and kept killing them until they’d burned through every life they’d broken and swallowed up in the building and a few dozen more before that. In the end all was left was this ugly black sewer sludge, nothing that ever coulda passed for human. It hissed and wriggled when you burned it, but even she couldn’t figure out how to do more than put it in a jar. So that’s what we did.
Huh? Oh, Grandmother didn’t want it. She said to give it to a priest.
It’s elegant, really. A virtuous cycle, if one of the most vicious kind. Pell and his wife travelled from village to village in that especially feverish stretch of English countryside. In each he roused a witch-hunting frenzy, supped of the fear and rage so provoked, and used a portion of the power to create whatever symptoms and evidence were necessary to escalate the community to even greater feats of rabid self-destruction. The remainder he used as any self-interested practitioner of such arts does; this was not a man possessed of some apocalyptic theology, but one who enjoyed health, long life, material comfort and (most of all) the exercise of power over others. A fine specimen of humanity, in all the most regrettable ways.
It is a most pleasing bit of dramatic irony, though perhaps inevitable, that he would meet his fate upon the same pyre to which he condemned so many (as indeed would his wife). Or at least his first fate. Power diligently gathered and prudently kept can accomplish a great many things and, if it proved incapable of preserving his flesh, the spirit was far more enduring.
Oh, that last bit is conjecture, tentatively by the good Dr. Sinclair and much more confidently by myself. There are no other cases that so conveniently ended in a recorded trial with depositions and witness statements, but there are scattered stories across the English speaking world in the centuries since. Agents provocateur who seem to exacerbate the witchcraft they profess to hunt with their very presence, and the like. I believe it is the work of a single ancient sorcerer, having long since abandoned any attachment to a particular body and seizing the life and identity of whoever catches his eye when it is again time to feed and burnish the reserves of his immortality. Most recently, I believe him to have been active in the whole mess around ‘satanic ritual abuse’ in the ‘80s - a most unpleasant period for our own work, I can say from bitter experience.
He’s a menace of course, a monster. Impressive in his capabilities, perhaps, but what has he achieved with them except centuries of parasitic misery? No, there is no place for him in our common task, and it would be quite dangerous to inform him of it. In this rare instance, I’m afraid that should you encounter him I must be the one to urge violence; swift, severe and final.
PIOUS LULLUBY has no government experience, and a limited understanding of ABROAD and all the ways it threatens our world. Their ability in a firefight is sharply limited, and their ability to deal with the paperwork and bureaucratic warfare that is many PATRIOT’s main theater these days is wholly unproven. S-CELL does not think fully reading them in as AGENTS would be appropriate. Yet, as a FRIENDLY Asset they have already proven their worth providing remote consulting on a case, and S-CELL fully expects them to continue doing so. They have made strong verbal commitments that should any PATRIOT Agent (in their helpfully incorrect understanding of what they are) request it, they will abandon their civilian lives to provide any and all possible support. S-CELL suggests any cells in need of the help take them up on the offer.
In particular, PIOUS LULLUBY can be called in to consult and provide expert support on:
FOREIGN incursions which match traditional signs of hauntings, possession, etc
FOREIGN presences centered around specific locations or objects
Malicious dreams, visions
Ritual torture or abuse not linked to a known wider cult
FOREIGN Entities which seem compelled or influenced by Christian iconography and ceremonies specifically
S-CELL can happily say these represent the overwhelming majority of OPERATIONS it has undertaken in its current form, especially those originating in evidence discovered by the CELL itself through downtime research. PIOUS LULLUBY is a vital untapped resource to protect America, and it is S-CELL’s hope and plan to use them fully in the weeks and month to have.