Dirty Little Secret

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I have a huge problem when people cant just reply to me. Even worse is when they read it and dont reply.

Its not only that people i want to reply its also people I need something from.

Hate it!

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She‘ s someone knew. I think i started liking her.

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Ooops...here we go again

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I still feel something for her. I don't know what this is or going to be. She's very professional I can't tell what she actually thinks of me anymore.

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It‘s been some time and my birthday party is over. As you may know, I‘va also invited her to it. Of course she didn‘t come. She was sick though. She wrote me a text, said she coudln‘t come and that she‘s sorry and so in. Now maybe this might be the sign to let her go.

I‘m deeply hurt by that and I don‘t know how to behave now. I don‘t think this might be ever more than just work friends. I hoped it could be more but she doesn‘t want it.

I have to accept it.

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I'll let go on her, I don't want to have a romantic interest for her.

It's still there but it won't last long when I think about her ignoring me or not texting me by herself. I've given all for this relationship between us, kept in contact and so on.. But nothing comes from her side.

Maybe everything I did was a mistake, I should have never been "flirting" with her. Maybe she realised, that for me it's more than just a friendship, maybe she feels the same way but is afraid, maybe she doesn't have interest at all.

I don't know, probably won't ever find out about it, but it's okay now. I can handle it.

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It's the first time since weeks that she actually said "that's so sweet of you". It doesn't sound like anything special but for me it means a lot because she only used "sweet" on me once (she usually says another word which has a similar meaning but not as strong as sweet).

My face gets red when I think about it... Sweet... Sweet.... It makes me smile.

Also yesterday she made me laugh so hard because she acted clumsy. It was sooo cute, we laughed together, it was such a great moment.

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I'm still thinking many hours of the day about her. I should keep it down. But how?

Tomorrow I'll see her again, I'm so excited. Maybe she'll talk to me, maybe not. But seeing her smile is worth everything I'm going through. Why do I feel like this?

Whenever she's replying to my messages I start to smile AAAARRRGGGHHHH!!!

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We've had some contact, of course I started the conversation. Yesterday I asked her, if she'd like to go on a walk with me and her dog because my fiancé and I have a lot of dog stuff we don't need. She said it sounds good but she's got a lot of stuff to do this week. I told her it's no problem and we can do it whenever she's got time.

She will also be part of my birthday party which is on October 31. I'm so hyped for that.

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She still didn‘t contact me. Am I turning insane? Yes. I want you to text me, ask me how I am, ask me out for an activity, but no.

I wish I could text you, ask you, what you are up to, but I can‘t. I don‘t want to disturb you while you‘re off from work. First week is already over. Will you contact me in your second one?

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I try so hard to get her attention but she keeps ignoring me. No reply to my snaps or insta messages. I don‘t want to text her bc she will ignore me there too and it would hurt more than anything of these things.

I wish I could know what she is thinking. What she is doing right now. Why she acts like that.

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My feelings are intense right now. It makes me crazy. I feel sick.

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I get ignored by her. I feel so down and silly. I wish you could find me attractive or something but I think we‘re done. It was just a fantasy.

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She starts keeping her distance. I might have been flirting too much. I‘m engaged, she may finds that unatractive. I dunno. She didn‘t even say goodbye to me today at work before she left for a ride.

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I will see her today again. I‘m nervous…woke up a few times because of that.

Yesterday I asked her out to go and eat breakfast with me, she asked why I‘m not going with my fiance, my fiance. My fiance doesn‘t want to stay up that early in the morning. My fiance is okay with it.

My coworker said yes.

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Coudln‘t stop thinking about her all night and all day why am I like this

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I‘m texting you, trying to flirt with you, does that make me a bad person?