When I was little I was fully 100% certain that vampires would have hollow fangs. I never explained this to anyone but I knew in my child heart that when vampires bit people they used their hollow fangs to suck blood like two tiny straws.
This seemed very sensible and left less mess than just biting someone with sharp teeth, obviously.
I think it was because I was an Animal Facts kind of kid and I knew venomous snakes could have hollow fangs so I just superimposed that idea onto vampires.
The funniest part of this is that it never came up in conversation, people would reference them drinking blood and I’d be like yeah of course, and in my head I’d be thinking: with their little sippy teeth, they drink blood, we’re on the same page.
It wasn’t until sometime in high school that the topic was broached in a way that made me question this. When I voiced my conviction about hollow teeth I was laughed at. Once I was questioning whether it was a silly thing to think I was forced to imagine how hard it would be to suck blood through two tubes tiny enough to be in teeth moreover how would you make inner fang suction and realized I’d had the weirdest headcanon about vampires for most of my life.
Editing to add that after a day full of vampire silliness I’m actually delighted to know I wasn’t the only person to think this.
Here’s the resulting poll and consensus. I now think vampire fangs have a hollow divot that shoots blood to the back of their throat since human hearts provide all the pump action and no sucking is required.
This post is going around without the poll, but it’s important! Someone 3D modeled a fang! It all makes perfect sense now!
Vampires have been solved. It’s official.
