something's off inside

My name is Samm Payton (S.P.). I'm 21 years old, and I write poems. this blog is mainly writing by me, with some stuff from those I admire thrown in. everything is original unless credit is given to the name of an author other than myself (Samm Payton,...

[somethingsoffinside]

[somethingsoffinside]

[somethingsoffinside]

[somethingsoffinside]

Either you're a person wondering if you have a soul, or you're a soul who knows that being a person isn't real.

Deepak Chopra

[swimmingtothesurface]

“When you’re born, you pass through the prism. Life is a rainbow, an infinite spectrum of radiant souls. But remember, man, light you are and to light you shall return.”

[somethingsoffinside]

There’s a dent of you, On the right side of the bed, And it’s filled with all, The lies that you said, I sleep with the skeletons, Of the promises you made, You left my heart sunken, Like the place you once laid

Samm Payton

[somethingsoffinside]

Never before have we had so little time in which to do so much.

Franklin D. Roosevelt

[somethingsoffinside]

Making it up as we go along, No idea what the hell we’re doing, You know I’m probably bad for you, Couldn’t help yourself from pursuing, We’ve steadily kicked up the dust, Behind our shattered past, The fan to each other’s flame, Moving way too fast, Sweaty palms and shaky hands, Your eyes glisten with madness, We spend the days exchanging tortune, Lolling in our sadness, We never really lost ourselves, It was clear we were never here, Shadows dancing side by side, Running from our fears, We yell all day and cry all night, Laughing in between, You tell me that I’m sensitive, I tell you that you’re mean, Round and round and round we go, Carving circles in the sand, Suffering from the sickness, Of a love we never planned

Samm Payton

[somethingsoffinside]

Your sunshine drips heavy, Off your scar marked skin, Oozing from the brilliance, That you mask deep within, Basking in your secret warmth, I lay upon your heart, I could feel it’s radiation, Right from the very start, Lost within your luminescence, The tears stream down my face, Knowing that you’re burning out, At such a rapid place, It happens to the supernovas, They all collapse within, It’s just a matter of time, Until there’s frost upon your skin

Samm Payton

[somethingsoffinside]

You buried me that night, Inside those bottles of rum, You told me that you'd miss me, As I started to succumb, As I took in my last breath, And the air kissed me goodbye, You whispered to me, 'baby, Tell the devil I say hi.'

Samm Payton

[somethingsoffinside]

I think of you, In these blurred moments, I don’t recall your face, Only some of the components, Rivers running through your eyes, The freckles on your nose, The tightness in your crinkled lips, Your teeth hardly exposed, I don’t know who you are, Or who you ever were, Only that when you looked through me, You made my stomach stir, Your fingerprints etched on my skin, I knew they’d never last, I lost you long before, You became part of my past

Samm Payton

[somethingsoffinside]

My tongue tastes like the sound of your anger, Every time that I get frustrated, What have I turned into? I’ve become the you that I hated.

S.P.

[somethingsoffinside]

I can’t remember the details, Just the places that we went, My brain was soaked in too much booze, To care how our time was spent, You were there but I was not, A typical night for us, Just you and the ghost of me, Hopping from bus to bus, Through the city, we would go, Searching for some relief, Only emptiness was found, We could not escape our grief, Pacing through the crackled streets, You’d stare at me with pity, Remembering what we once were, Before we met this city

Samm Payton

[somethingsoffinside]

Disappointing. That's what I am. At this point, I don't give a damn. That's a lie. You know I care, A lot more than I'll ever share. No one likes to feel defeated. My self-esteem has been depleted. Nothing feels good anymore. My hearts in pieces on the floor. I'm this way because of you. You'd tell me that isn't true. Was it you or was it me? You'd say it's obvious to see. I'm the problem. I'm insane. My eyes are filled with so much pain. I have potential, but it's been lost. I never really weighed the cost, Of any of my poor decisions. Most of which deserve derision. I'm impulsive. I'm immature. I have something that can't be cured. I hear your words inside my head, Without them even being said, You though so much of me before, But now you've gone and closed the door, You told me I chased you away. It doesn't matter what you say. I don't put stock in what you think. Another lie. That's why I drink.

Samm Payton

[somethingsoffinside]

I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me.

Joshua Graham

[somethingsoffinside]

I sit here in this steel chair, surrounded by faded brick walls and trampled cement floors. Across from me in a lone patch of grass stands a single tree winding majestically into the air, flourishing with magenta flowers that seem to blossom fuller as they grow closer to top. They glisten softly in the light that nourishes them, petals stretched out as if reaching for the sun. Within this single tree lies an entire ecosystem that most passerbyers will never notice, too enthralled by their pocket screens and earbud conversations to appreciate the magic within. Tiny birds weave through the mazes of branches, chattering frantically with one another. As I watch them with delight, I wonder what they’re saying so excitedly to each other. I wonder if they’re exchanging secrets most humans could only dream of knowing. I wonder if they ever wonder about us, or if they already know all of the necessary truths of this world.

Samm

[somethingsoffinside]

Completely obsessed.

Making myself stress.

Over here just being a fucking mess.

Like usual.