- connecting to roots: spent 4 months at home, gardened, did the generational trauma healing program w/ Florina, did family constellations w/ Paul and Carmen, processed a lot a looot of emotions linked to mom (recently discovered) and dad (more of the same but deeper), talked with sis about childhood wounds, bonded with her
- learning about trauma. Reading Body keeps the score, listening to Gabor Mate lectures, reading about the polyvagal theory
- learning not to be so nice anymore. Expecting and allowing guilt when I don't always please others.
- reconnecting to my strength (Mars return) after challenges linked to work and authority. Trusting who I am and where I am, realizing how my issues with dad projected on my relationship with Andreea from work. Learning to not take responsibility for other people's emotions and healing.
- finally accepting the circumstances of my life instead of keeping a constant inner struggle
- therapy, therapy, therapy
- starting to give live astro readings!!
- deciding almost surely that I'm gonna do the child psych master's starting from next year
- overworking, tiring myself out, being pushed to take care of myself more... finally realizing where this incredibly bothersome pressure pattern comes from
- reading tons of Sherlock fic. Rewatching Sherlock. Writing fic. Posting on tumblr. Connecting to this beautiful piece of fiction
- changing my OTP. Aziraphale and Crowley from Good Omens ⥠healthier ship. Magical ship. Overflowing with love. Soothing my nervous system thru beautiful fiction.
- discovering incredible medieval/pagan music: Heilung, Skald, Wardruna, Runfell, and others in-between. Felt like another kind of connecting to my roots.
- reconnecting with Shane and exploring what went wrong in our connection. Exploring desire, attraction, and boundaries
- reconnecting to my inner feminine side - receptivity, the vulnerability I was always afraid of and in denial of and covering with my impulse to dominate. Embracing both tendencies.
- exploring kink thru self-play and fiction. Finding more of what I like
- sending voice messages to everyoooone
- having Covid and surviving it
- going @the Sinca Veche temple and setting the intention of living life in constant pleasure
- overeating... and keeping a strange relationship with food. Finding out more about the roots of addiction. Still suffering, still addicted.
- reconnecting with Cris, then disconnecting again; finding a healthier stance in rship with her, recognizing the intermittent reinforcement/emotional unavailability patterns, trusting my needs and respecting her boundaries
- chatting with friends mostly online. Rediscovering how important they are to me (Mada, Ale, Tatiana, Shane, Andreea)
- exercising almost daily!
- working on setting a daily meditation routine. Managing then relapsing then... so on and so on
A painful year, all in all, but very helpful. Went back to the roots. Exploring, trusting, allowing more and more. Trusting myself step by step. Feeling more free from my conditioning and more ready to explore what kind of life I really want :)