Sometimes My Life's a Joke

Basically just a blog about the random funny things that happen in my life so they're saved for posterity.

[skygenders]

Canadian Tumblr Post photoset #3

Want to see more?

Battle of the Countries photoset #4

British photoset #2

American photoset #1

[skygenders]

British Tumblr Posts photoset #2

Want to see more country Photosets?

American Photoset #1 

Canadian Photoset #3

[call-me-mr-sir]

One of my non-porn tumblr favorites…

[sorryimessedupagain]

I spent three weeks in a mental hospital and what I discovered there I feel like should be put into words.

we are not who you think we are.

the boy with turrets told the funniest jokes

the girl who raked her nails up and down her skin could create the most exquisite drawings

the girl who abused drugs had the wisest soul

the boy with schizophrenia had the biggest heart

the girl who tried to kill herself told the boy with insomnia stories to help lure him to sleep

the boy who wanted to kill himself had the deepest passion for cooking

the girl with slits and scars all over her body dried my tears and told me I was beautiful

the boy with anger issues gave the warmest hugs

the girl with bulimia told everyone every day that they looked beautiful in their bodies

the boy who was a compulsive liar told us that he wanted us all to get better, and that he was for once telling the truth

the girl who almost drank herself to death stood up for anyone that felt they were feeling bullied

the boy with social anxiety made sure nobody sat alone at meals

we are not who you think we are.

[maddisonkennedy-deactivated2017]

*slams reblog button*

[culturenerds]

[blessezmoi]

I clearly need to be watching this show

[sometimesijustshakemyhead]

This show is pure gold it really is

[idreaminbayandgrey]

That moment when

Someone gets a horse you know that they don’t have the training or experience to handle and you’re just like “oh god no”

[sometimesijustshakemyhead]

Or when they get on your horse for some reason and all you think is "you're about to die"

[bunsen-deactivated20150516]

trying to push a pull door and not succeeding like

[sometimesijustshakemyhead]

I heard the most depressing thing in the store yesterday. I was looking for shampoo and the make up aisle is right next to is. Well I got what I wanted and went to go look at make up because lets face it it's fun to play with. Well there was this mother in the aisle with two little kids a boy and his younger sister. The little boy asked his mom why she always wears so much makeup and she responded with because mommy doesn't like the way she looks without it. Now this mother wasn't very old maybe her late 30s and was a pretty woman. And she doesn't like the way she looks without makeup. I know it's an individual choice and all but what does it say about our society that women aren't confident in themselves without makeup? I know no one elae will care but I thought this was very sad

[sometimesijustshakemyhead]

We are all a banana peel slip away from having a disability

Jim

[skygenders]

[mickeyandcompany]

Anne Hathaway as Mary Poppins (Saturday Night Live, April 10, 2008) [x]

[twistedeveryway]

#MIA ARE YOU MOCKING YOUR GRANDMA?????

A+ tag from camyberry

[peetasallhehasleft]

[sometimesijustshakemyhead]

I love that this happened

[geeksquadgangbang-deactivated20]

[nateriot-deactivated20180701]

Obama on gay adoption 

[nodaybuttodaytodefygravity]

yeah totally ruining this country what a horrible guy

[the-uncalm-nipples]

Fun fact: Obama has attempted to fix almost everything that he promised to fix, but the republicans have voted almost all of his bills out of congress. He’s not the problem.

[sometimesijustshakemyhead]

I'll probably get yelled at but this is important. It's easy to look like the bad guy when you're stonewalled at every turn.

[sometimesijustshakemyhead]

[sometimesijustshakemyhead]

Everyone I know is getting married or in a long term relationship and I'm over here like one of these days I'll leave the house with matching socks on....

[micdotcom]

Australians fight Islamophobia amidst hostage crisis with #IllRideWithYou

In the midst of the ongoing hostage crisis in downtown Sydney, Australians are showing the world they’re not caving to racism or Islamophobia. 

On Monday, an armed gunman stormed a cafe in Martin Place, entering a tense standoff with police. After the hostage-taker displayed an Islamic flag in the cafe’s window, many of Australia’s Muslims are understandably anxious about facing retribution. 

But instead, Australians have banded together on Twitter with #IllRideWithYou, a hashtag showing their solidarity with fellow countrymen scared of being attacked on public transportation. 

There have been more than 150,000 Tweets so far

[sometimesijustshakemyhead]

All I want for Christmas is....

So this is something I started 12 years ago and I wanted to share it with everyone. Every year I ask for just one thing for christmas and I have yet to get it. This is what I want for christmas. I want a receipt, yup just a receipt or rather the picture of a receipt. Here's the thing I want it to be for a toy or basic necessities for a child from newborn to age 12. Though honestly you don't have to cut the age off at 12 that's just the number for this year. I don't care what the amount on the receipt is it can be $0.01 or $10000000000000 I just want a copy and the name of the foundation you donated to. It breaks my heart thinking of all the children who will wake up this holiday season and not have a present waiting for them. I know most people will probably ignore this but if you do decide to please message me because I would love to get this wonderful gift for christmas. Also please feel free to share this around I would love to see how far around this can go. 

[sometimesijustshakemyhead]

Roommate: I was kind of thinking a sundae was in order Me: well you could have said that when we were in the diner Roommate: DINER??? You are in upstate new york sugar plum! Sundaes come from Stewarts!!

[sometimesijustshakemyhead]

Roommate: if you go off what's on the door these tires shouldn't even be on the car. We thought the 16" tires looked better than the 15" ones. Cause an inch makes a huge difference. Me: it was a guy who decided that wasn't it. Roommate: how'd you know? Me: well everything looks better an inch bigger. Hell thats a lot of real estate Roommate:........... did you just.... Me: yup