sometimes i read

sometimes i write

[sometimesiread]

Anyone else feel a special kind of alone due to a terrible combination of being able to think faster than you can speak or write or type (i.e. express your thoughts to others or save them for later access) and having memory issues that mean you can't reliably remember your thoughts (regardless of their importance to you)? Or is that just me?

[headspace-hotel]

random thought:

I think "sex is just another activity you can do with a person" arose as a response to the conservative christian "sex is the most Sacred Important Thing Ever and you HAVE to do it Correctly and only Within Marriage or it's The Most Damaging Sinful Thing That Tarnishes You Eternally." Which definitely needed to be criticized.

however when I see it expressed as like "sex isn't a special activity or inherently different than other things" I think. Well it is though?

I mean that being allowed into the intimate boundaries of another person's body inherently has more responsibilities (making sure the other person feels safe, caring about their comfort and pleasure, communicating clearly) than like...going on a walk in the park with that person

Which really just more starkly highlights how twisted purity culture is? "Sex is an activity with special significance" should mean, "If you are being really intimate with someone and you don't care about their pleasure and wellbeing and listen to their wants and needs, you could really, REALLY hurt them," not "If you have sex with anyone except the single person you've gotten married to and are committed to for the rest of your life, gross fungus literally grows on your soul."

[headspace-hotel]

okay, follow-up to this post

you, personally, can feel that sex is a casual activity without any special significance. That's fine

However, a person's physical body is, I think, very, VERY different than their car, an hour of their time, or a book you borrow from them.

If you borrow someone's book and don't give it back, decide to hike the trail you want instead of the one your friend wanted to hike, or refuse to turn off the music in your car that your friend hates, you're a bit of an asshole but you are not a rapist.

There are degrees.

If you give someone food and lie about the ingredients to trick them into eating it, you're still not a rapist but you've done something horrible. If you know someone hates hugs and you hug them anyway, you're creepy and people should stay away from you, but it's still worse if you know someone doesn't want sex and you make them have sex anyway.

Consent should matter throughout life, but consent in regard to a person's body carries more weight than respecting their preferences about things external to them.

If we framed sexual consent as basically the same as respecting someone's choice about what movie they want to see or what store they want to go shopping at, that would be really bad.

Whenever I've brought this up, it seems like I get "well, you shouldn't coax your friends do other stuff they don't want to either!" which seems a little out of touch with reality, because there are occasions when people decide to be a good sport about something they don't enjoy for the sake of someone else, and if that thing is a bad romantic comedy movie, it's very different than if that thing is sex.

Now, can people with a healthy sense of their boundaries approach sex with the same framework? Sure, if they want to. Should this be the default approach to sex? HELL NO.

I think that healthily having a "casual" attitude toward sex where it is nothing "more" than just another activity requires a good sense of your own desires and boundaries and confidence in asserting them. "Sex is just another thing you can do with someone" is good for people who know themselves well enough to feel secure and confident making that call, but it sucks as a starting point for defining the significance of sex to humans.

Something that involves letting another person within the personal boundaries of your body doesn't have to have a "special" significance to it, but you have to undergo the process of figuring out what significance it has to you. Does that make any sense

[sometimesiread]

Forget tldr, I need someone giving me the ncdw (no captions, didn't watch).

During my social media scroll I always watch videos on mute (many reasons). When there are no captions available I need someone to post a comment with a short summary so I know if it's worth it to turn the sound on and watch it. :/

[sometimesiread]

Pro tip for those of you like me who hate taking meds and/or have poor executive function, but need to take something at the same time every day:

Make beating your med alarm into a game. When you successfully take your meds (up to 15 mins) before your alarm gets a chance to go off, you get to say "Take that, you stupid alarm!"

(Because otherwise I will sit there for 40 minutes snoozing my alarm even when I'm not currently doing something interesting or important...)

[mindingmyownbrain]

“A female with ADHD may be less hyperactive and less impulsive than her male counterpart. Instead she may present with more subtle symptoms such as being disorganized, scattered, forgetful, introverted, withdrawn and socially isolated. She may have great difficulty keeping her focus on tasks, becoming side-tracked and easily distracted by things around her or even by her own thoughts. It may take her a little longer to process information, so that she appears “slow” or “spacey” or “flighty”, when in fact she may be highly intelligent. She may have a low tolerance for stress, feel extremely sensitive to criticism, and work hard to conform to adult expectations in hopes of gaining approval from others. She may have a hard time saying “no” to others, over committing to responsibilities that she cannot fulfill. It may be difficult for her to make firm decisions on even simple tasks, so that she seems wishy-washy and indecisive. Problem solving situations can become overwhelming and she may often find herself stuck, experiencing a sense of paralysis, unable to move forward at all. Managing her time can be quite a challenge, as well, and “running late” may be her norm. She may also be hypersensitive to her environment – the noise, the sights, even touch – and quickly become overloaded, “shutting down” and unable to function. She may feel and incredible sense of shame, berating herself for not “living up to her potential”.”

— Keath Low, MA

[sometimesiread]

Can we pretty please retire the phrase "oh, that didn't hurt"? Pain is inherently subjective, meaning no one can feel or measure the severity of pain except the person who is experiencing it. It is completely and utterly ridiculous to claim the right to tell others what they do and do not feel.