Sleepless.

Random Musings.

[winterghosted]

do you realise how fucked up this group has to be when bucky barnes is the most stable out of all of them

[somewhereouthere]

I am still sleepless. Literally.

[somewhereouthere]

I don't know what I've been doing with my life.

[somewhereouthere]

I'm reading EX rank supporting role's replay in a prestigious school but I need some spoiler for 1000 until recent.

[somewhereouthere]

I'm heating some spaghetti. I feel like this scenario happened before. The arrangement of the containers, the table, the sink. My mother is asleep, my sister outside and I'm alone here at the dining area.

I feel like it really happened before.

Is this Deja vu

[somewhereouthere]

I think my anxiety is getting worse. Dunno, whenever I am in any kind of transportation—my heart just keep beating so fast and my nervousness won't go away.

I don't remember when did it start. I used to love commuting, maybe a train or a taxi. Just enjoying the view. But now, I can't. Sometimes I even feel like throwing up.

[somewhereouthere]

I have lots of ideas for a novel. But whenever I tried to write, I just couldn't. Sometimes, I stare at the wall thinking about a great scene without writing it.

It looks like I am not the only one and in fact, I feel like everyone who writes experience this.

So, what should I do?

[somewhereouthere]

I just need to write what's inside my mind, without thinking about grammar, spellings and what not. I sometimes focused so much in my mistakes even though I am still writing the first chapter. Always stressed about it.

I need to remind myself that I have to write everything first and after it's done I will edit it.

[somewhereouthere]

I'm planning to write a novel. It's been one week, yet I'm still planning. In fact, I'm always like this. Not the first time, most probably not the last.

[somewhereouthere]

I had a dream. It was about a girl named Molly. That's it. I forgot everything. But at that time, I thought it was going to be a good story. I wrote the name in my notes, then I fell asleep.

Now, I forgot.

That name will probably haunt me.

I wonder what my dream is all about. I really don't have a clue.

[somewhereouthere]

I am going to try and do journaling again. I failed not once, not twice but many times. I'll again.

[somewhereouthere]

I've been reading k-novels mtl for quite some time that my grammar, instead of becoming better became worse.

But what I want right now is a little bit of mystery or detective fiction. Maybe psychological thriller.

Something like : " He dead, whodunnit? "

Yes, like that.

[somewhereouthere]

Driving fast

a new car to show—

then it crashed.

[somewhereouthere]

There's a girl whom I always meet in the mall near us. She could be a schoolmate maybe a classmate. I'm not sure because I couldn't remember.

Her face is familiar. That I am sure. But what's her name?! Is she really my classmate or maybe just someone I always meet?! Why I don't remember where I first saw her?

Also. My cousin's gf said she's my classmate in elementary and she knew things that happened in elementary that only my classmates would know. But I don't remember her. Her face is not even familiar to me.

Seriously. Who are they?!

[somewhereouthere]

The past haunts me.

I can still hear your voice.

yelling and screaming for help.

Yet, I never regretted it.

I had to survived.

[somewhereouthere]

May we meet again this autumn.

Let's watch the falling leaves.

Let's sit on the bench watching the skies.

Reminiscing our beautiful past.

It's what I hoped for a long time.

Am I the only one who remembers?

We were once laughing side by side.

You used to say "I love you"

Until it became a distant memory.

A whisper only I can hear.

[sleeping-lesser]

Orange

That citrus-y smell,

made me come to you.

You're sweet yet sour.

Just like how I am living my life.

Your color that's perfect for the summer.

It's radiating an energy that I need today.

A warm color, a warm feeling.

I am glad that I can have you.

That incredible taste,

just made me smile today.

You're one of my favorites.

I just want you to know.

[somewhereouthere]

Here's the orange poem. Going to write more.

I feel like it needs something more. It's been so long since I wrote one.