My Trashman Enver Gortash

(They/Them) A so-called artist, known vampire fucker, and also somewhat of a writer. I can and will ramble if you let me @somuchbloodycoffee on Bluesky!

[fyeahocprompts]

tell me some details about your oc that you most recently fleshed out/decided on!

[what-even-is-thiss]

Gets stuck in the past and makes a random village get way smarter and less violent in a generational sense because I keep smacking people over the head with a stick and telling them that it’s the devil’s metal whenever they try to use lead for something in my presence and there develops a very niche regionalized superstition that an angry warlock will jump out of a tree and beat the shit out of you if you touch lead with your bare hands

[what-even-is-thiss]

Gets excommunicated by the Catholic Church for telling people that they can banish the devil from their water if they boil it therefore saving hundreds of people from a cholera outbreak but I don’t care and keep trying to convince the locals to use soap more often

[what-even-is-thiss]

Meets another iseksied person in the far past and beats the shit out of them for participating in the slave trade and eating moldy bread

[what-even-is-thiss]

Gets seen as crazy when I say I’m distilling peppermint oil to banish the miasma but people start asking to have some real quick when the Black Death comes to town and I am unaffected due to my constantly minty fresh house repelling rodents and fleas alike

[ex-riddlecats]

"he would not fucking say that" but its about a character being a leftist. he would not fucking believe that

[ex-riddlecats]

media literacy is knowing when a character would say "i dont vote. why are you bringing politics into this?" no matter how mad it makes you to hear somebody irl say the same thing

[halogenwarrior]

This goes for a good amount of the characters who are complained about "oh no they were a cop in the timeskip", a lot of the time they wouldn't have an issue with being a cop and it is perfectly in character.

[st-just]

The number of people who go like 'my beloved war criminal blorbo!' but then act like you poured a drink on them if you suggest they'd be a Republican is honestly pretty funny.

[i-draws-dinosaurs]

The beautiful and endangered Dumb Gulper Shark

[i-draws-dinosaurs]

[byjove]

To all of our brave service members trapped on the USS Lincoln right now, from the bottom of my heart I would like to say LOL.

[byjove]

“Navy sailors are killing themselves because they’re trapped on a busted ass raggedy ship with no soap and bad food.” And not because they’re tools of American imperialism fighting a monstrously cruel nothingburger war? Okay.

[byjove]

It is crazy to see politicians and random public figures come out and be like “Yeah, destroying Iranian infrastructure and bombing children is whatever but you can’t treat our brave little soldiers like this!”

[parasitoidism]

Girl said she’d let me see her DDs but when I got to her house she just had her shirt off and she didn’t even have a ps2 let alone a copy of digital devil saga. Waste of my damn time

[parasitoidism]

TURN THE SHIP AROUND

[markerofthemidnight]

you 🫵. make a self-indulgent au now

[teathattast]

[lokaror]

Casting lightning magic alone in the parking lot

[lokaror]

Cops are here.

[lokaror]

Casting lightning magic alone in the parking lot

[voltaspistol]

[rockergiirl]

yeah sure whatever

[pangur-and-grim]

my house is scary at night

[storyweavingspider]

Interpreted this initially not as shelves, but as your cat having erected defensive fortifications

[iscairot]

i think the hardest i’ve ever been owned was when my boyfriend and i were talking about our favorite feelings/sensations and he was like “my top 9 out of 10 feelings are sex with you” and i was like “aw baby🥺🥺🥺. what’s the tenth one??” and he didn’t hesitate even a little before saying “sex with your mom”

[iscairot]

Good news!!!

I did!!!

[buzzcutssn]

[bred-by-insanity]

[onion-souls]

$10 budget Raiders of the Lost Ark

[king-moogle]

I looked for the original tweet and found more

[grimoiremanifest]

if this weather doesnt srart getting colder where i live im gonna start killing hostages

[fable2]

They should have let us sleep with Elminster in bg3. Not because I personally want to romance Elminster ever but because of the psychological damage it would do to Gale. Imagine

[mutantrenegade]

You know Jones soda cap, as a tumblr user i can actually say i think I have.

[plaguedocboi]

He means a little squeeze bottle with brine shrimp inside but… bottle feeding the loblings…

[ittybittyisopod]

I'm sorry this was too good of a mental image I had to draw it