I mournā¦
ā¦his complete openness in the beginning. Now, I fear every message I get is going to be the last.
Monterey Bay Aquarium
tumblr dot com
d e v o n

#extradirty

izzy's playlists!

if i look back, i am lost

Kiana Khansmith

tannertan36
No title available
Peter Solarz
Cosimo Galluzzi
Keni
šŖ¼
ojovivo

No title available

Origami Around
will byers stan first human second
art blog(derogatory)
Aqua Utopiaļ½ęµ·ć®åŗć§čØę¶ćē“”ć

Janaina Medeiros

seen from Malaysia
seen from United Arab Emirates

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Netherlands

seen from United States

seen from Germany

seen from United States
seen from Netherlands

seen from Türkiye

seen from Malaysia

seen from Canada

seen from Netherlands
seen from Iraq
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Norway

seen from United States
seen from United States
@sonderingvalentine
I mournā¦
ā¦his complete openness in the beginning. Now, I fear every message I get is going to be the last.
Was my question too hard?
I asked you what you enjoyed about our friendship before. What didnāt you enjoy? What do you want to bring back, what do you want to exile, what do you want to add?
and it occurs to me
again
because I canāt seem to think you actually loved me
because itās easier to think it was all a lie
even though I canāt see the reason you would lie to me
it occurs to me
that you enjoyed our connection because you thought I was someone else
because you wanted me to be someone else
even accused me of being that person and lying to you
and then you found out I wasnāt her
finally couldnāt deny I was someone else
but you still seemed delighted
so why are my questions so hard?
you are going to go reread a book by some shitty author that you love instead of thinking of an answer
great
fine
go enjoy your life
and leave me thinking on this and overthinking on why you canāt think of an answer
fuck you
again
You are mad at me nowā¦
⦠but I am still that person you fell in love with. Good luck resisting me. Please donāt resist.
I like podcasts
I also like kissing.
Why do we kiss? What makes a good kiss or a bad kiss? How many microbes do we exchange? Is it good for us? One of the worldās most accomplis
The podcast that keeps on giving
This American Life started as just a radio show and it was a natural transition to podcast. It has been on air so long. And it is a gift that keeps on giving. This is a rebroadcast, but still, itās amazing. And that Terry Gross moment, lol. https://www.thisamericanlife.org/174/birthdays-anniversaries-and-milestones
When I canāt sleepā¦
⦠I write the novel in my head. If the ideas are good they survive until I can write them in the morning.
The nerve
I have some nerve
to strike that nerve
because I felt struck
a blow from him
though he had stepped away
and threw no punch
offered no true violence.
But Iām not wrong.
She is dead
his wife is dead
but he lets her interfere.
Or is she an excuse
a romanticized excuse to not to love me.
But did he actually say he couldnāt? not in so many words.
so it seemed. youāre confused?
me, too.
But I had the nerve to point out the obvious.
how could she possibly object?
so maybe he should muse on why it makes him so upset that I would point out the obvious
or maybe I need to keep my mouth shut
Wouldnāt it beā¦
ā¦the most exciting, romantic thing to get on a train to meet your pen pal lover, and in the days on the train anticipating your meeting you are writing a romance novel.
What I think about true love
When love doesnāt work out, we often get mad at the potential partner. But maybe we should be mad at people who set our expectations to be so high. Or we could just get more people to read and write realistic romance novels so we could all be on the same fucking page, please.
Pen names
Do you ever make up a pen name?
a drag name?
a burlesque name?
What are they? how do you do it? and why donāt you want folks to know exactly who you are?
because I am a woman and many people make devalue femininity.
because people who perform drag and their community are under attack.
because sex work is still stigmatized.
I want you to think about why this is. Give it a really hard think. Ask someone about it. Ask someone about it you donāt agree with. Are they right? Are you sure?
how are we going to learn anything if we are sure we are right all the time?
Meanwhile, I will move through the world with the armor that is my chosen name. This name makes me powerful, and safe. We all have a right to feel this way.
Words: satiated
Itās an unassuming word. But I love the way it sounds, and the feeling it evokes.
In a sentence: today I will be extra satiated because I am going to make myself fat and happy at a food festival.
Bad, but maybe it will get better
Hilarious premise. Other than the lovely accents, these hosts, while funny, are mean and not very sex positive. Honestly, Iām only still listening to see if Rockyās writing gets better or if the hosts change their approach. Iāve given up listening to every episode and only listen to the the first and last of the season, footnotes and best of. I donāt want to waste all my life on this. Also, if Iām going to write a romance novel, I must make sure it is nothing like Rocky Flintstone.
The lies Iām telling myself about him
He lied. He pretended.
Evidence exists of his extreme vulnerability, lack of temerity at telling me the whole truth, and many assurances that we were friends. That there would always be an ear for me, an inbox for me, and someone at the other end.
When it came down to it, he didnāt act like the person he said he was. And since heās cut me off, I can only explain it to myself with what might be a lie. He isnāt here to show me any different. Thatās his own choice.
As time passes, the voice that lies about him is the louder voice.
My new friend has covid
We were hanging out on Wednesday. He got symptoms Friday with a negative test. Positive test on Sunday. We feel fine and tested negative. Today I picked up his prescription of Paxlovid, some zinc, multivitamin, D3, and contact lens solution. As I walked up the stairs to his unit, I saw he taped a small hand written sign to his door. āPositive for Covid. Do not smooch.ā I laughed. Iād been teasing him about who heād been making out with because a medical professional once said the same thing to me. The truth is that I think he would like to be smooching someone. The truth is I would have liked him to open up the screen door and press his mask to my mask. But I didnāt knock on his door. I left his prescription and other items on the table outside his apartment and went back to the car where my wife was waiting.
She turned her body
in parallel to his and looked up into his face, her attitude confident and hopefully mesmerizing.
āAre you in love with me yet?ā she asked. Playful, teasing, almost joking, but not quite.
āNo,ā he said, but he was smiling into her eyes
āDarn. I was hoping you would be.ā
āI could be. Very easily.ā
āOh.ā
He stooped slowly to kiss her, so she could pull away if she wanted. Their lips met and she felt his hands gently on her neck and waist. A perfect first kiss, not greedy, not too wet, just enough pressure and suction. She steadied herself, hands on his arm and below his ribs.
He pulled back after a moment and asked softly, āWhat will your wife say?ā
She chuckled. āIāll ask when she gets back from her date.ā
Piles of books to read
Oooooo! So excited about this good gay shit! This article makes my reading list longer. May we never run out of queer themes in books!
If you're in the mood for a ragtag spaceship crew or queer superheroes living their best lives, check out this list of the best LGBT science