happy accidents

part scrapbook part diary left open at the public library. half agony half hope. Roo. she/her. 20s. About & Aesthetic & Tags

[inthedarkbeforethedawn]

[riotwizard]

The Amazing devil + abandonment

[erotizmas]

Animal Kingdom (2016-2022)

s01e08 Man In

[sonderoo]

oh. pope was in solitary. pope had a guard "play games" with him. pope was tortured. oh the parallels.

[sonderoo]

you know the feral children language deprivation studies? i feel like that's what romantic love is like for me. the brain has a critical period at which it can learn and acquire language. if a human child doesn't learn any language in that window, the brain loses its ability to acquire language later in life.

i think i missed the window to learn how to give or receive that kind of love. i never learned how to be in a relationship, how to date, how to engage with that aspect of feeling or wanting or receiving. whenever i try to, it feels like i'm performing something i don't fully understand, like an actor reading words in a language they never learned so the pronunciation is completely wrong.

someone showing romantic interest in me makes me feel uncomfortable and awkward. trying to flirt with or show interest in someone feels strange. i don't speak the language and to try to learn it at this point, in my thirties, feels both impossible and unfair to inflict upon someone else

[lilidawnonthemoon]

[cindy-lou]

Le Fabuleux Destin d’Amélie Poulain (2001) Dir. Jean-Pierre Jeunet

[noura1695]

[sonderoo]

went on a second date tonight, which i have only ever done once before. the first half of it was good, the second half was just okay. i found myself thinking that the waiter was more my type which feels like a bad sign. i really wanted to feel like strong positive about this guy, and instead i left feeling very neutral. like i'd go on a third date to see what happens but i would be just as fine to not see him again.

[stuckinapril]

life is so hard when you’re a very lazy girl by nature but you also want to do a lot of things in your one wild and precious life

[goldours]

patris

[hotvampireadjacent]

You guys are gonna wanna see this

. A baby giraffe was born Monday at Hogle Zoo (Salt Lake City, Utah). Photo by Kennedy Camarena of KSL News.

[stood-onthecliffside]

[sonderoo]

oh nooo i thought i had successfully given "just friend" vibes on the "hangout that was maybe a date maybe not" but he just asked me to brunch so i clearly did not succeed

[sonderoo]

god i am working so hard to take care of everyone else - my clients, my friends, my mentees. and i am so fucking tired. i just want someone to take care of me. i want someone to cook me dinner when a client in crisis calls me and it takes up the whole evening instead of having to just resort to whatever cereal or microwave meal i can scrounge up after. i want someone to wash my hair in the shower when i'm too tired. i want someone to hold me real tight on the couch after i've spent a whole day listening to and looking at and thinking about the worst moments in people's lives. i want someone to tuck me into a bed with blankets they washed after i've fought my hardest and still been told i didn't do enough.

i just want someone to take care of me. someone i can come home to and be safe enough with to let them take care of me.

[a-delightful-moment]

@niki.at.the.cottage

[saltyocean]

isabelle vermeersch