[soppingwetman]

i have decided that everyone who golf’s at a golf course is a bad person

[soppingwetman]

my hot take of the day is that cis people shouldn’t be allowed to recommend the silence of the lambs to trans people.

[soppingwetman]

forget about the men, why did no one tell me that there are evil lesbians in hannibal 🤨

[soppingwetman]

rereading books now that i am a teacher has been so fun for me because yeah a 12 year old would do that

“why did annabeth do that instead of this clearly better and more rational thing?” bc she is 12

like all of the best children’s books that i reread as an adult before i was a teacher that had me going ugh this is lowkey unrealistic now has me going okay yeah a kid would do that

i have a class that i cannot begin to describe. the drama is too much. i had to tell a student that it’s actually not cool to intentionally lead her ex on (who is also in this class 😐) and play genuinely insane mindgames with him and being a pisces actually doesn’t change that. they are 14.

the other day i had a student say that a citation was “the planets in the solar system ☝️🤓” and another kid immediately popped up asking him why he looks like such a dork but isnt even smart enough to use his thick ass glasses

“kids dont talk like that” unfortunately they do

i think this is also why there is such a clear difference in fanfic written by adults vs teens bc unless the adult still works w kids, they are probably going to have inadvertently begun to forget what kids and adolescents act like

[soppingwetman]

i dont know the difference between jimmy fallon and jimmy kimmel and i tried looking them up but then my phone overheated and now i think that there are supernatural entities influencing my phone bc if i gain this knowledge something will happen

[soppingwetman]

the concept of blazing an “ao3 is down” meme is so funny to me

[soppingwetman]

had to unfollow beemovieerotica bc i dont think i can cope with seeing them reblog horny sherlock content 💔

[soppingwetman]

“she’s broken” is kind of what it’s like when ur a tboy egg in middle school

[soppingwetman]

we should start injecting performative males with estrogen because if theyre really feminists why arent they becoming women

[soppingwetman]

people need to stop writing gay fanfic where two men don’t freak it or makeout until three months in

have you met a gay man?? do you know what grindr is?

[soppingwetman]

listening to the dan and phil podcast while i shave my bush

[junglejim4322]

Was high as fuck off LEGAL WEED and a raccoon slowly stood up on its hind legs in my back yard and made eye contact w me. I need witness protection

[soppingwetman]

thinking about the first time i ever smoked and we were outside and my bf was like “ahhhh there’s a rustle in the bush” trying to be funny

BUT THEN A POSSUM RAN OUT AT US

AND TWO OTHER POSSUMS APPEARED FROM SOMEWHERE

then all three of them climbed up the electric line and started walking across the wire 😀

[soppingwetman]

i need to create a scenario where i get in a bad argument with my bf so we can have angry makeup sex after i tell him that i deliberately pissed him off so we could have angry sex

[strangetimemachinebird]

Making a period- accurate story with a ton of OCS is hard

[soppingwetman]

i thought this was about menstrual cycles and how they connect to the plot. bc sometimes im wondering why i never get to know my faves flow heaviness. it’s only relevant when they’re pregnant at some point. why can’t i know about their tampon/pad usage. some of them would probably use a diva cup. i feel like this is essential knowledge that we are missing out on.

[mapleduffle]

i’m not a beatles fan i’m a beatles fandom fan

[soppingwetman]

im a beatles fan out of love bc otherwise my bf would be sad that we cant freak it while listening to the white album

[soppingwetman]

brushing my teeth with my bf’s toothbrush just to feel something

[soppingwetman]

🟧 finchfeatheredup

people don’t understand how difficult it is to get the worm when you have a cozy nest.

🦅 wokewings

hey, i don’t think you realize how classist this is. some birds don’t have access to warm nests so they have to be up early to catch the worm. where do you think your grocer is getting the worms.

🟧 finchfeatheredup

im literally autistic. i dont know why you expect me to leave my nest to enter a sensory intense environment. some people were never taught how to get the worm.

🪿 loosegoose

damn y’all can’t do anything.