alicia

the only place i will let myself feel

[sorryalicia]

how often do you resist the impulse to reach back into the fog of your memory?

[sorryalicia]

Can I ask you something? Some things?

How have you been? How is your family? Do you still have the same interests? Are you still so kind? Is your heart still so big?

I’m the same in many ways. I’m happy, I found my person. Growing older is hard. But I think that’s what makes life worth living. Im never quite sure what day im going to get. I’m different too. I finally learned how to emotionally regulate — shoutout my frontal lobe. Learned how to deal with all of this anxiety and sadness in a healthy way. I think back and I wish I would have done things in a more mature way (frequently.) I don’t use small caps anymore. I have to incorporate a significant more of fake capitalistic professionalism in my persona. I smoke too much, but we all got our crutches. Life is very different, but I like to think my heart hasn’t changed.

I wonder about you still, I root for you still. I think about all of the ways I have been imperfect. All of the things I have learned and all of the things you taught me.

I hope your life is well. I hope it makes you happy. I hope you succeed, whatever ‘success’ even means.

Alicia

[sorryalicia]

your affinity for red lipstick has left me looking sun kissed

[moniabadir]

[sorryalicia]

i love you but i need another second to myself

[sorryalicia]

I give you permission to focus on yourself.

[sorryalicia]

in the morning, the sun will rise

and so will i

finally choosing

myself.

[sorryalicia]

i miss when we used to get high and laugh so hard we’d get stomach aches. looking for quarters in the couch, just so we could buy taco bell.. you were my best friend, and i miss you.

[sorryalicia]

have you felt happiness today?

[sorryalicia]

i just want to make future alicia so fucking proud

[sorryalicia]

you do.

[sorryalicia]

there will be no more opportunities for us to hurt each other

[sorryalicia]

it has been so long,

but from time to time i find myself wondering

have you found yourself yet?

how is life treating you?

did things get better?

i’ve never understood your actions, even your most recent ones. i’ve spent time hating you, loving you, longing for you and still

i hope you’re doing well.

[sorryalicia]

i am haunted by the past.

[sorryalicia]

thank you.

[trembeling]

[aidashakur]

Act like you deserve nice things. Move like you are worthy to experience the finer things in life. Remind yourself daily that every good thing that is coming your way is warranted. You can’t manifest anything you think you’re not worthy of.

[anotherlesbianandwhat]

!!!!!!!!!!!

[myonlywayoutofhere]

“Tell me the story of how the sun loved the moon so much he would die every night to let her breathe”

—

Day 358

unknown