JPaige

[sosheturnsthepaige]

While I do not believe love can be measured, I’m sure it can be defined.

A stirring, a yearning

Something deeply burning.

[sosheturnsthepaige]

I’ve been sharing my hand written pieces on IG. I know my handwriting isn’t fancy, but it’s what I’ve got.

[sosheturnsthepaige]

I think I’ll do more of theses…

[bnmxfld]

“I just wanted you to know there will be a piece of you in me always.”

— Spike Jonze

[sosheturnsthepaige]

Hope

Hope in the moment

Hope in the light

Hope to guide me

Hope to hide me

Hope in this fragile heart

Hope for the sake of hoping

Hope in the truth

Hope in the labor

Hope in my effort

Hope I find rest

Hope for tomorrow

Hope in the dawn

Hope throughout the night

Hope with the curtains drawn

Hope I’ll know

Hope I can be wise

Hope I’ll see through

Hope no more lies

Hope at last I have

Hope

[sosheturnsthepaige]

One Sided Dreaming a poem by J Paige

I’m tired of one sided dreaming

On me everyone is leaning

Promise of rescue

Promise of relief

Of my peace of mind

Just another thief

Not one has asked me

That I can recall

For the thing that stirs me

Not one at all

Let’s just assume

They seem to say

Let’s just assume

For me she will stay

She can carry this

Although it’s heavy

She’ll grant my wish

Though it presses hard on the levy

Endure I do

Ensure I shall

Each time, a new promise

Of relief is made

Each broken promise

Shall I carry to my grave

He thinks he can

He thinks he will

And perhaps, in their ways

They love me still

But I’m tired of this one sided dreaming

On me, still, all are leaning.

I want more

Than anyone wants to give

Free and vivacious

I want to live

I have my own dreams

Large and wild

The lovely dreams

I’ve love since a child

I give a little here

I give a little there

As they chip away

Claiming to share

I have my own dreams

You know

My own honest dreams

I wish to see grow

Oh how I wish I could say

And perhaps tomorrow, shall be the day

I’m so tired of this one sided dreaming

On me you will have to stop leaning

[sosheturnsthepaige]

This feels like death

If death was a cold unfeeling thing

This looks like night

If night was a dark unwelcoming thing

This feels like pain

If pain was a torrid jagged thing

This haunts life grief

If grief was a hollow lingering thing

This cries like despair

If discard was a lonesome sorrowful thing

[sosheturnsthepaige]

Please excuse my heart for breaking

With all this torment, all this aching

My tears, you’ll find are dust

The hinges on my heart, to rust

I breathe in, but I don’t breathe out

All my hopes crumbled, faded to doubt

Deep, within me, a quiet tremble, a quiet rage

Like many doves crowded in a cage

If they shall be free, then so shall I

I have found where broken hearts go to die.

[sosheturnsthepaige]

I’m sorry

I’m sorry I’m not sorry

I’m sorry I don’t want to try

I’m sorry I like goodbye

I’m sorry I’m not stronger

I’m sorry I can’t hold on any longer

I’m sorry I lost the fight

I’m sorry I don’t miss you at night

I’m sorry I hold my head up high

I’m sorry I can’t seem to cry

I’m sorry my heart already broke in you hand

I’m sorry that you still don’t seem to understand

I’m sorry I can’t fix this

I’m sorry

[sosheturnsthepaige]

Love is not an easy thing, because it is a living thing.

It bends, it brakes,

It gives, it takes.

It gives life, and takes up burdens.

It brakes the silence to get a word in.

It bows a knee, it lends a hand,

It gains traction on shifting sand.

It bends the heart,

It gives us art.

It takes the last, it takes the least,

It is enough to tame the beast.

It is not frail, although it feels it.

It still loves the thing that kills it.

It will love more, the thing that heals it.

It is not a Phoenix, yet it should be.

Because love is a living thing.

[altruisticwriter]

-William Wordsworth

[sosheturnsthepaige]

All

My

Life

[fairydrowning]

"I'm overwhelmed by a vague sadness about life, an inner anxiety that makes me nervous and uneasy."

-Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet

[quotefeeling]

“Solitude isn’t loneliness. Solitude is when the entire serene universe seems to surround and hold you quietly.”

— Victoria Erickson

[melloncolliegalaxies]

"it's just a bad day," but actually 

it's 1 more of many thus far, 

and to be honest, it's one of those bad days 

that feels like the last straw. 

maybe i'm "making extremes out of nothing," 

but if i could go the rest of my life 

without feeling this upset, 

i would—trust me. 

and sure, "it's only a burnt cookie,"

and yeah, i'm probably "just tired"

and okay, you can call me a "writer,"

but today i'm the candle that someone forgot, 

igniting a fire that burns down the whole house 

while you're insisting assurances

like that can put the flames out. 

- it's just a bad day

[sosheturnsthepaige]

I think my soul just sighed

[sosheturnsthepaige]

Today I watched the sky turn dark and brooding before my eyes. Thunder shook as lighting split the sky. The heavens mourned for me. For all the dreams torn from me. But in it all, I found a whispered “I love you” in the heavens weeping. The grace of a grand love ever sweeping. And so now, I give my soul, battle worn, and weeping. To my lord, my Heavenly Father for safe keeping.

[sosheturnsthepaige]

[sosheturnsthepaige]

Twisting, contorting, is my heart.

How did this start?

This unrelenting, unexpected passion

My hands tremble, as do my lips,

 in longing, 

in fear.

My head whispers, can he be trusted? 

my heart whispers, bring him near!

Why do I love him?

Oh how I love him!

My mind fumbles, 

weakens, 

at this fire within me

What doesn’t break me

Shall surely make me

Be kind! cries my heart

I’ve found I need you…

I should have known from the start

In the depths of my being, I know

I know this is real. 

I know there is substance

Enough, just enough,

To go the distance.

That doesn’t change this moment

The change that comes from it.