Yes, she’s fought a long and terrible war, both personal and to her home in the Mainlands. It’s left her with with wounds that will heal. The damage to her heart however are still ugly and raw since a betrayal of her Champion and the hurt felt from her people by more human irk to plague her homelands.
‘ Humans are horrible. ’ She thought. ‘ Shallow and thoughtless, all of them ..! Desperate for power and war that doesn’t mean anything! ’
But Motochika ..? .. Was he not mortal?
She takes tentative steps forward. Posture still stiff, eyes watching but still distant and hands carefully reaching out but ready to pull back like he might hurt her.
“ .. Anger upon my enemies. ” Perhaps .. she’s been wrong to be mad at all humanity for the few that have wronged her. If he could not hate humanity for the many wars he’s witnessed then perhaps-…? “ Complicated .. humans are very complicated. ”
And gods aren’t. Maybe that’s why she couldn’t understand. Lugia finally lets her guard rest. The world at her shoulders comes falling down.
“ And so are their emotions. Motochika I-.. I forced you .. into us without thinking about how you might feel. ” Only on what she wanted. How this fit her ideals. Just like how the people she fought against thought. “ After what I’ve been through I’ve learned that selfish greed brings. I dont .. I dont want to do that to you. ”
“ Do you .. really love me? Do you really want to get married? ” Another long silence. She can’t look up at him; scared of his answer and feeling so vulnerable. “ I promise you don’t have to worry about what I might do. Hurting you or your homeland .. I know how horrible it feels now. ”
Words as these root him dead to his spot, and he cannot help the curiosity that wells up in him. Not a good, childlike wonder but one that dread hangs over, casting a shadow over his mind as a stone Hydreigon would in the harbors of Dragnor. Words like these… Motochika feels he ought to feel a lightness in his heart, that he no longer needs to fear the safety of his dominion if he upsets her. And indeed, at one point in the past, he may well have done so. But now? There is nothing but worry.
Revelations like this did not just come from the air. Just what did she go through to change so?
She looks so meek… once proud eyes that were alight with a confidence that shone as brightly as the sun upon the water that she held dominion over now afraid to even look his way. Motochika is not so used to people fearing to look his way, he’s always liked to think of himself a kinder, more relaxed Lord than most in Ransei, certainly more approachable than his father.
Each moment he is unsure what to say draws an uncomfortable silence over the two, guards long since waved away from the room. He ought to say something, shouldn’t he? If he says nothing she will make assumptions, and perhaps those are not the best while she is in this… emotionally vulnerable state.
But she wants the truth, and that is not going to be any better, is it?
“In the beginning? I remained out of fear for kingdom… though I suppose I believed it was deserved. We had neglected an important part of our identity, the reverence of the sea, in favor of war.” It had, in truth, only made sense. They neglected their God under his leadership, surely he was the one that should pay. But… but it wasn’t just like that anymore!
“In truth… I cannot say I do want to marry you… not now. But- but please wait!” There is urgency in his voice, lined with fear dyed silver. “I ask only that you listen to why! Know that it isn’t because I despise you, or even because I do not care for you!”
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