MEMORANDUM: @shapingminds
SUBJECT: have a drabble.
The click of heels echos before Natasha. Her head held high despite the turmoil in her heart. Some had to look twice, glancing over their shoulder as she passes by because the agent isn’t in her usual attire. At one point that wouldn’t have caused alarm. At one point that’s what Natasha was known for. Deep undercover. Doing what others couldn’t. Transforming herself to be the image of whatever her target wanted.
Only, this time it made her sick.
She wasn’t supposed to fall in love. Maybe if that was the only thing wrong with this particular mission then she wouldn’t be walking down this very hall let alone with the desperate ferver behind every step. Anger bubbled beneath the surface. Whether it was directed at Maria or herself was an unknown.
“ I need out. “
“ That’s not like you, agent. We don’t have our information yet. “
Stepping in to the elevator Natasha tries very hard not to think of the way Josiah’s face brightens every time he smiles. Or the way he looks when he’s around his students. She tries to pretend her heart doesn’t skip a beat every time he glanced her way. Or that the hairs on her arms don’t stand on end every time he touches her. Gently. Always so god damn gently. She’d been wrong. So fucking wrong in her initial assessment of his personality. Of course that happened from time to time. But Josiah wasn’t a cowering man afraid of his brother just waiting to buckle. This was a strong soul who’d been through more trauma than she cared to admit. And, despite everything his family had done he still wanted to protect those assholes.
“ He doesn’t have what we need, Maria. Staying in would be wasting valuable time.
A look. A smirk. Then, something Hill didn’t give out too often. A look of sympathy.
“ Since you’ve been gone I’m going to assume you haven’t read the briefing on the Riau Islands.”
Natasha half expected Hill to continue. But, instead, her arms crossed over the chest and she leaned over her desk to rest on her elbows. Whatever expression was on her face was something she couldn’t read. Sympathy? Anger? It bothered Natasha that she couldn’t tell. “ Three resorts decimated by Chitauri tech. We don’t know if Jason’s letting potential buyers try out the merchandise or if someone’s getting a little trigger happy with a shiny new toy. Ten dead so far. Fifty more up in the air. “
Someone clears their throat. It’s then she realizes the elevator door had opened. She offers an apologetic smile, as plastic as anything she’s ever offered, and steps out. There’s a nausea in her chest she hadn’t felt since she was told about her arranged marriage to Alexei. Why is a question she’s been asking herself since she first realized she was falling in love. There’d been a lot of terrible things she’d done in the past, willing or otherwise. Many of those instances included the use of her body to get the information necessary to complete a mission. It’s never bothered before. In fact, Natasha gets a strange joy from using the framework of sexism to dismantle someone from the inside.
But this. There was no joy in this. No joy aside from the small ray of light that Josiah Crane is upon her life.
“ They’re spinning it as a gas leak. “ Maria took a deep breath and held it for a few seconds before finally pushing out of her seat. Long legs rounded the polished table she got to sit behind sometimes. Then she moves to lean against the edge of her desk. As if invading Natasha’s personal space somehow made the conversation a little less professional. And, she hated to admit, it did. “ More jackasses are going to get funny ideas about this stuff. There was too much to contain after the invasion. We have no idea how much is out there or what they’re doing with it. We need to stop Crane before he sells to the wrong person.
Plopping down in her junker of a car, Nat tossed her tiny purse into the passenger seat. The threat of tears is hot against the back of her eyes. Thousands of needles searing in to the tender socket. She’d do this. Just like she did every other mission. Her future played out before her like a movie she’d seen a thousand times before. At the end Josiah would find out about what happened and he’d hate her. Those gentle eyes will look down on her with vehement hatred and Natasha will hide her pain behind the mask of a bright, triumphant smile.
One single tear rolls down the tip of her nose, right onto the glass of her smartphone. Josiah’s face stares back at her from the contact image. Green eyes close. “ Just another day in paradise, “ she muses.
The button is pressed and she can hear the ringing before the phone reaches her ear. “ Hi, baby, “ Natasha says in Natalie’s usual tone. Whatever reserve she had was shut off when her alter ego turned back on. “ I just landed a small modeling gig. Want to celebrate with me? There’s that cute little Italian place around the corner I’ve been wanting to try. Maybe we could go? “
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