Soulhaven Sanctuary

Follow Ray and James as they start a new life in the country; meeting new animal friends, developing a permaculture inspired design and nurturing a deeper relationship with the earth that they care for. Soulhaven is a place where animals, humans and...

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Baby Feet

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It has been a long time since I blogged on this page about James and I and our life at the house truck. Much has changed since I last wrote and it has inspired me to re-invigorate the blog and start a fresh! 

We have moved! It finally happened...James and I found the perfect place, and as tends to happen when things are just right in the universe, the greased wheels starting moving fast and everything fell into place. Time whizzed by and before we know it here we are, 2 months after having moved and in a very different life! There is much to cover, such as the aquisition of our chickens, our 2 beautiful cows and the developing relationship between us and the 2 wild horses that live on our land...but for today I thought I would focuse on our first loves, our cats :) 

Our cats were a big reason for us wanting to move. We wanted to give them that outdoor life that they craved - 2 of them especially. We wanted them to smell the grass and run around and be free. I was nervous to move them and felt bad about removing Lynx (the white Siamese) from his home...the home he shared with his now departed brother Gizmo. However, the moment we moved them I knew it was good! Look at them - these photos are not unusual. They are always happy now. We used to have the odd issue with kitty urination...NO LONGER! We used to have Charles (black and white boy) crying at the balcony door to get outside and roll around on the deck...NO LONGER! We used to have Madeline (big black girl) ducking down every time a car went past...NO LONGER!

We are on a 9 acre section with a picture perfect house, a stream running through the middle with a row of willow trees bordering it, and other than two fruit trees (lemon and apple), a blank canvas for us to experiment, play, grow and learn together. This place is special, and we are changing and growing with the earth around us as are our fluffy friends. Time for a cuddle methinks :)

[kellyholyoake]

Being Yourself Phenomenally

The journey taken to arrive here today has not been easy. The road has been pitted with potholes and stumbling blocks. The biggest stumbling block being myself. It is only now at 29 that I can truly say I am grounded, and am who I am supposed to be. It is nonsensical to ever think we are supposed to be anyone other than ourselves, this does not mean however, that it is easy to find, know and be ourselves. 

Becoming ourselves sensationally may not be an easy task but it is one worth embarking on.  

I think one of the greatest barriers to finding ourselves is fear. We all know them; fear of rejection, fear of failure, etc. 

I am convinced that the antidote to fear is, being yourself and living that out. 

When you find who you are and what it is you are supposed to be doing, there is no room for fear. Your conviction in what you are doing will be so strong because it aligns with the purpose imprinted on your DNA. When fear arises your conviction, self belief, inspiration and sense of purpose will quickly extinguish that fear. 

Coming from a place of constant fear and anxiety, I do not say this lightly. I have been tormented and crippled by anxiety and fear and I have known great lows. Coming through this process to be where I am today, living my life as I was born to, I can truly say that a life without fear and a life full of inspiration is possible. It is by finding yourself and thereby finding your ‘thing’ that you live your life as yourself, phenomenally! 

Investing in children’s education, advocating for the rights of every child, is my ‘thing’. The Mama Hope, Global Advocate Fellowship is the inspirational platform unlike any other where I get to be myself completely. As a Global Advocate for the students in Mlali, Tanzania, I get to be a part of something so much bigger, part of a community devoted to seeing their children receive quality education and achieving greatly.  

My role in this journey is to help connect this community with some of the resources needed to achieve the dream of education for every child in their immediate community and further afield. I am assisting in raising funds to build a boarding house that will enable more students to attend the school and help the school become sustainable.  

Knowing that the funds go directly to the project is beyond exciting to me and I cannot wait to be on the ground witnessing and celebrating the success of the students in Mlali, Tanzania. 

I ask you to donate here, because I know this boarding house will be built. It will be successful in increasing the school’s sustainability and it will improve access to quality education for children in Mlali, Tanzania. 

As I embark on this journey where I get to be myself phenomenally and do exactly what I was born to do, I hope others find their ‘thing’ and engage in the journey of being themselves authentically every day. 

Be Genuine, Be Authentic, Be Phenomenal Every Day. You might just free someone else while you are at it. In the end, can we really help anyone when we are not authentically being ourselves?  

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Coming back to life

It has been a very long time since James and I took the camera up to the truck and attempted documenting our community life at Wildwood. Our apologies for dropping off the map, but there is some reason behind it. After James and I were married in March, my beloved 6 year old kitty Gizmo was found to have a very aggressive nasal lymphoma - that's cancer to you and me - in his nose. My poor baby who was so young, who I had planned on including in our country, outdoor future and who I wanted my children to play with, was leaving me.  

Despite a ridiculous amount of time and effort, including hand feeding him for several months and trying all manor of alternative hollistic options, his tumour continued to grow, spreading to his tear duct and growing out of his eye until one weekend he told us that is was time to go. So 3 weeks ago we did just that. This has been an incredibly difficult last few months and I have been completely consumed by my own chrysalis of focus, dedication, efforts and grief. 

It was a rough week after he left, but thankfully I was able to take the week of work and do nothing but cry and honour him. Shortly afterwards I began to see cracks of light, and everyday I am breaking open that shell. I can feel myself waking up; coming back to life. Some days I have very sad moments, sometimes I only have to think of him to cry, others I feel more positive, but I do know that everything is and will be o.k. and that Gizmo is now resting and at peace. Plus we have 3 other cats to love and cherish and they need us more than ever.

So it was that this weekend I brought the camera up to the truck and took just a few pictures for this blog. It's not much, but it's a start. 

It is well and truly winter and our view is ever changing as the leaves fall and the spiders make use of the empty branches. I do miss the leaves nestling us in, but there is a certain quality about winter up at the farm that is very comforting. It is so quiet and calm - even when the wind is blowing through, it still has a dreamy quality to it. 

I am currently doing a Qi Gong class on a Sunday morning back in the Wellington region, so we are easing back into truck life by staying just for one night so that we can see everyone for communal night! It hasn't been really cold, but just enough that we have been able to enjoy a few roaring fires in the truck - as long as I remember to pack some dry kindling ;)  

With the fire going, I do think it is one of the cosiest places on earth. On Friday we enjoyed a beautiful meal, followed by a beautiful Sufi meditation led by Anne and some lovely chatting afterwards, followed by a glass of wine and an episode of Merlin in the truck. A beautiful and relaxing evening. 

We have also been looking at a property not too far away, and it is looking more likely that we may be making a more permanent move to a closer location. It is a time of transformation and change, and I am trying to flow with it as I know that life is transformation and a journey to be travelled. James and I are ready for the next stage and this may be the beginning of it. I wish that Gizmo were here with us to be part of our future journey - which he would have loved, but perhaps his passing was the catalyst that brought about this transformation. 

Whatever happens,  the sun will surely shine again.

[kellyholyoake]

A Tribute to Inspiration

In San Francisco it begins; the journey of inspiration, love, and positive Change.

“Shut your eyes and feel the earth under your feet. Ground yourself in the constant and un-shifting terrain, take a deep breath and think of everyone who has brought you here today. Think of your friends, family and anyone who has shown you kindness. Feel the love they have instilled in you. They are on this journey with you. Now choose a single word that signifies why you are here today…”

And this is how it began, on the grass, in the California sun, surrounded by phenomenal women. My word was and is Inspiration. Having to choose a single word to represent why I was in San Francisco at the Mama Hope boot camp; one word that embodies what I hoped to bring to this training, one word that would soon become defining for me.

When I think back to the conversations I had leading up to the Mama Hope boot camp, there was one sentence I could remember repeating to everyone who asked what I was hoping to get out of this 9 month journey with Mama Hope. That sentence was: “I want to connect and learn from inspiring people”.

There is only so much we can learn from books and life can do it’s best to beat the inspiration out of us. Choosing to connect with people that truly inspire us, will be the defining element in how much and how well we achieve. I never want to miss the opportunity to connect with someone who can inspire me to live bigger, be better, radiate more kindness and be more authentically me.   

This is a journey of inspiration. Over the next 9 months we will see lives transformed.

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We finally brought cats to the truck for a long weekend stay :)  Our little Lynx loved it...he'll definitely be coming back!

[vacilandoelmundo]

United Kingdom

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Last weekend at the truck was another magical one, with the land being shared by a crew of dancers there for a week long retreat in Dances of Universal Peace. James and I went for a beautiful hike up to the ridge and enjoyed our usual coffee morning with Paul and kiddies, as well as our usual coffee at the Perching Parrot on our way out!

This weekend we are not staying at the truck as James and I, along with our folks, are heading down South to stay in another house truck - you could say the house truck that started it all! And on Tuesday, we are getting married there :) So this week we are taking our parents up to the farm to meet Ivan and our Wildwood family, and then the day after we are off for our little South Island house truck adventure!!

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We're back!!!!

That's right...we're back! I have completed my trip in the States which went really well. For those of you who missed it or want to see what I was up to you can read the blog here:

http://stompitoutproductions.tumblr.com/

In conclusion, it was a successful and fascinating trip, but as always I am super happy to be home! This weekend was our first weekend back at the truck in a few weeks, and it was also due to be our first 2 night stay! This would mean we had a WHOLE DAY to just 'be' at the farm. Now that we have stayed 2 nights, I just can't imagine turning up and leaving the next day. We had THE BEST Saturday EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The weather was absolutely stunning all weekend, so I, having just been to snowy Detroit, soaked in some very necessary Vitamin D, and we got some really amazing work done. We were in heaven.

The weekend started off as usual with our Friday night dinner and practise. It was so good to see the family, including the gorgeous Isobel with whom we played a few rounds of hide and seek. James and I have fallen in love with her completely.

After filling on delicious food and wondrous company, it was time for practise. Many times on my trip when I was missing home or unable to sleep, I would visualize myself sitting in Lauren and Paul's chair, in their lounge, surrounded by my fellow mediators on a night of Sufi meditation It always brought me peace and balance. This nights' Sufi meditation (the very meditation I had been visualizing...sitting in the very same seat), was absolutely wonderful. I found such a peaceful, restful place. I still cannot believe that we have been so fortunate to have found this whole other world, and been accepted it into it with open arms. It's unreal how fast it all happened, but I'm so so so so glad that James and I took the plunge and went for it.

Now normally I would be saying something along the lines of, 'we went to bed, got up and left...the end.'. HOWEVER this time we went to bed knowing that in the morning we didn't have to leave...in fact we wouldn't have to leave until Sunday! So we enjoyed an episode of Merlin on James' laptop which has just enough battery to service us for a small amount of viewing over the weekend (until we find a 12V plug option!) and then in the morning we were woken to Paul, Isobel and Indigo, with freshly brewed coffee. The best wakeup ever I think. 

We shared great coffee, great conversation and great cuddles from the little ones, including jam-faced sticky kisses from Isobel, fresh from her latest kill (her 'kill' being jam on toast). It was all in all a brilliant morning.

After that James and I set to work! There was quite a lot of tree fodder from building the drive, and Andrew had asked us if we could just collect it all up and add it to the pile so that a) it didn't prohibit the growth of plants underneath ongoing and b) it looked smarter in time for the dance retreat that is happening next week. Andrew estimated the job would take us an hour, but it turned out to be quite a lot more...about 2-3 hours worth of fun!!! James was so happy...he loves that kind of work and fantasizes regularly of chopping wood and generally being physical on the land in a plaid shirt (or at least, I always imagine him in a plaid shirt...like a lumberjack). He's been dreaming of it for so long, and he finally got to do it!!!

Here he is on the giant bouncy castle of dead foliage. It was pretty darned fun, and we even managed to haul a big log up the hill to put at the very end of the drive, for general decoration and for sitting on. It was great fun - it's been a long time since I was able to do that kind of work, and I forgot how satisfying and how fun it is, and how good it feels when your body is tired from working. Lying down never felt so good!!

In the afternoon we went for a little explore on the land to take advantage of the amazing weather...and when we got back and went to wash the dishes we found that we had run out of water! SO our first official truck maintenance job challenge had arrived!!!! The truck has a 120 litre tank underneath which is filled simply with a hose attachment. So we took a trip down the hill to the local Mitre 10 (that's the big hardware store in NZ) and bought ourselves some attachments, and 2x30m hoses...hoping that that would be long enough to reach the nearest outlet which pipes out water from the spring. We could have just filled up lower down, but in the long run we know we are going to want to have water closer for regular filling up and potentially for an outdoor sink, so what better time to get stocked up than now!

2x30m wasn't quite long enough, so we borrowed one from the nearby garden and connected them all into a long line that ran like a snake up the hill. And now our lovely tank doth runneth over with juicy, fresh, mountain water! Huzzah!! I was pretty chuffed...and it's another one of those very simple and small, but very important steps in becoming more adept and more confident in dealing with the practicalities of life in the truck and on the land! We can tick water off the list!

After that our day was coming to a close. We nipped up to Lauren and Paul's for a quick shower while our own tank refilled (thank you Lauren and Paul!) and then came home for some yummy dinner, another episode of Merlin, and then crashing out at 9.30pm. It felt...AMAZING!

Now is the part where I say we got up, we lit a mini fire as it was chilly before the sun came up, we got ready, and we left...for James had a shift at Commonsense and later on I had a shift at the gym. As we sat in Paekakariki with our morning coffee it felt like being pulled slowly from a warm embrace. I didn't want to leave. BUT - now we are armed with a small list of things that we need or want to collect. Our next main priority, since we have mastered the water issue, is going to be a toilet. I have ideas, and have been researching - but be assured that pallets shalt be involved! Praise be to all the free pallets floating around in the world!!

I also want to make a step up for the back porch...but all in good time and all in good practice! It is not even a week before we will be back at the truck, ready for a full day of 'being', and next week there will also be a dance retreat going on, organized by Andrew and Jean! We will share our joint meal with a much larger number and no doubt experience some really interesting people. Can't wait :)

[xanatu]

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Adventures in L.A.!

I will be away for the next two weeks in the good 'ol USA! In my real life I am the Creative Director of Stomp It Out Productions, a production company that makes humanitarian documentaries that aim to inspire and motivate its viewers to act and become global citizens. 

Our first film, UNDERCOVER (www.undercovermovie.com) has its World Premiere this week at the Pan African Film Festival in L.A., so me and my boss are off tomorrow for the showings and a bunch of other meetings across the States! I will be blogging as I go, but not on this blog as I don't think many would like to suddenly see pictures of red carpets and beaches when they were hoping to see magical misty forests and dilapidated house trucks :)

If you want to keep up you can check out the blog below! I'm about to go and write a quick post - I'm also planning on lots of video updates, so check it out, and otherwise, see you in 2 weeks!

http://stompitoutproductions.tumblr.com/

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This weekend was the gypsy fair in Petone. Our truck was a member of this Gypy Fair for about 10 years and we knew that Ivan's daughter and her family, who run the coffee stall, would be part of the festivities! Unfortunately the weather was not kind and as I arrived, they had their engine running and were just about to leave. I caught up with them however and had a quick wander around before they all left. It was a bleak scene...but still nice to see Ivan's old home none the less,and even found a few relics :)

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A Ship of the Land Sails into the Bay of Wildwood

This was a big week at Wildwood! Andrew has been busy both finishing off the composting toilets, and supervising the building of our drive, which was finished by Friday even after an unfortunate digger breakdown incident.

When we arrived at the farm, with about 20 minutes before dinner, I decided it would be best if we just got right on it and got it moved up into its new home. I am a very anxious driver when it comes to manoeuvring - my spacial awareness is not particularly good and generally I am prone to the odd panic/anxiety attack even thinking about doing a reverse park in my Nissan Micra (which by the way...is a tiny car). So I wanted to get it done before I had too much time to think about it and get freaked out. 

Just as I was backing her onto the main road, Andrew came down from his house with his camera...a surge of dread went through me: I had hoped to do this covertly and quietly so as to not exaggerate my own fears...it's how I cope with things that scare me. However, for better or worse,  it would seem I was going to be forced to face my fears this time. Andrew walked us up the drive and went into detail about what not to do whilst driving up each corner and section, for fear of death and destruction. The professional digger men who had built the drive were apparently nervous and thought I'd have difficulty getting up there too, and shortly after this run down of potential death and destruction...my panic crept in. When Jean and Anne came down the drive to watch the ascent, I had to ask them to leave. I must have seemed so ungrateful...I'm not - I love them to bits and am so grateful to all of them...however...no one was going to see me have a nervous meltdown but James. And indeed...he did witness said meltdown.

First at the bottom of the drive once everyone had disappeared up the hill, I burst into tears and started with the panicky breathing. Then the ascent...straight on...little to the left, little to the right, big turn...a little too close to the right...pause on the corner of the hill to go back a tiny bit...both james and I pulling on the wheel to turn it...another panic attack breakdown...James holding me and comforting me like I'm giving birth...big turn of the wheel...last panic burst....entire body shaking...big burst of throttle...aaand 'thank [email protected]'re in'! When I stopped, my left leg was still shaking of its own accord and I was dribbling and drooling on myself. 

In actual fact, getting up the drive was easy peasy and no big deal at all...but I thought too much about it and let my fear get the better of me - and for those of you who suffer from anxiety...you'll know that when a panic attack starts, it's very hard to stop it. Needless to say I needed a drink afterwards (don't worry...it's water).

However, it was totally worth it - the spot is so beautiful, and the truck looks amazing all nestled in the trees! James and I both remarked at how different the truck feels in a different spot - the energy is completely different up the drive, and we love it. It's magic.

 And of course, just before we went up to have a beautiful joint dinner and spiritual practice (Sufi meditation led by Anne), James brought the good 'ol pallet up the drive too - would you look at that beautiful pallet! ;)

Dinner and meditation was excellent medicine for my frazzled nerves and very soon I was calm, relaxed and satiated. James and I are so very grateful for the welcome that we have had at Wildwood...I don't think we would ever have imagined meeting a group of people who would allow us to completely mould their own space just to accommodate us - and to be so happy to have us there! We are very lucky...and to say thank you, we prepared a trio of gifts for the trio of households. I did a herbal diploma last year and learnt how to make all sorts of wondrous goodies. So James and I went to Greytown this week, a cute little place in the Wairarapa District with lots of little boutique shops and stalls. Whilst there we went to our favourite little shop and picked up some lovely glass decanters for some potions! In one I made a healing oil using lots of my own infused oils. In another a vanilla essence that has been brewing for a few months, and in the last a special flower essence for reclaiming power and re-connecting with the energies of the earth. James also did some beautiful drawing for the accompanying cards.

After the nights activities, James and I retired for some lemon verbena tea and a wonderful, restful nights sleeps under the cloudy sky, lulled by the gentle rain and nurturing energies of our new home! And in the morning, we had a real treat! Paul made us pancakes...yum.

It was great to hang out with Lauren, Paul and the kids and just relax for a while, without feeling the need to run off. We ate, we chatted, we got Paul started on his pentatonic recorder lessons, we played with kids, we listened to beautiful music...it was a wonderful way to start the day. The picture below feature Isobel choking james with her play dough, and the ever gorgeous Indigo, practising her yoga...this is the Cobra pose.

Just before we left for the day we found a gift bag had been snuck into the passenger seat of our car: a gift from Anne to welcome us officially to the community. Did I say we were lucky???

I am going away on Tuesday to L.A. for the première of a documentary film I just finished for Stomp It Out Productions (www.undercovermovie.com)...so we won't be back at the truck until the very beginning of March. I'm going to miss it, and though I have exciting times ahead, I can't wait to be back on the land, in our magical home.

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WE MADE IT INTO OUR NEW DRIVE!! Thanks to Andrew for doing some filming along the way (including this covert filming of us pulling into the drive). 

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I got an e-mail from Andrew yesday with some photos attached, with the text, 'Days end today. It will be done by Friday.'  

So just like that, thanks to the amazing kindness, generosity and knowledge of Andrew and everyone on the farm...when we go up on Friday we will have our brand new site ready and waiting for us, and thanks to James and I putting away a tiny bit each week, the money to pay for it is ready and waiting too!  

We are very excited!