Be the one to redefine stigmas.

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

"Your journey will be much lighter and easier if you don’t carry your past with you." - Unknown

[soulyourselfkitten]

Marriage

I’m almost 28 and I am still unsure if I want marriage. My mom was 27 when she got married/was pregnant. My sister was 27 when she got married/pregnant. And here I am, not married and not pregnant. I was thinking about both of my grandmas the other day, on my mom side, when she was 27 she was having her fifth child and on my dad’s side, she was already raising four children. And here’s me. No kids. No marriage. Just a cat. I don’t even know if I do want marriage. Society says I should get married. That I should have children. BUT do I want that? As a child, I remember always playing bride and groom and playing with babies. I never thought about my own wedding. Well, maybe I did here and there, but not seriously. As i’ve gotten older, to me it feels like marriage is only a contract. It’s a legal document, binding you & your partner for legal reasons. And I’ve seen first-hand divorce. I’ve seen what divorce can do to a child. (me). I’ve also heard stories where the person is with their partner for 50 years & then it still doesn’t work out. For instance, my grandpa was married to my grandma for 50 years & she died and he went right into a relationship with Barb. How quickly someone can get over someone that they basically spent their whole life with, scares the shit out of me. How, one day they are the person of your dreams & years later you hate them & don’t want anything to do with them. Its because we are constantly evolving, constantly growing or staying stagnant. What worked once for you might not work for you anymore. Is a legal document binding you together worth it? Is it what I want? I’ve seen my friends get married & i feel so cynical about it because I think its a waste of time. Why cant you be with someone without marrying them? Why in society do we still feel like marriage is the right thing to do? Why do I still feel like I should be getting married? But why don’t I feel the desire to get married? But also why am i putting the pressure on myself to think about marriage and babies? I guess I see my friends settling down and im wondering “What about me?” Why not me? Why aren’t I getting married? Why haven't i found someone that wants to marry me? My last ex, literally told me he didn’t see himself marrying me. And now my current boyfriend, isn’t sure if I’m the one yet and wants to make sure before he does anything serious. What does that even mean? Am I incapable of love? Or do I keep getting into relationships with people that have commitment issues? Do i have a commitment issue? I dont even know if I even want to marry the guy I am currently seeing either. If we both don’t want to marry eachother then should we stay with eachother? I just don’t understand. I just feel like I’m the problem. There’s something about me that guys don’t want to seal the deal with. I know i’m worth more and I know there’s someone out there that knows I’m the one immediately. So do I stay with someone that is unsure of me or do I leave & find the one that instantly knows? And vice versa because I’m not even sure I want to be with him either. It’s so confusing. I don’t understand why we are both unsure. Is it because we both of commitment issues? Abandonment issues? Insecurity? We both rushed into this relationship quickly. 7 months of knowing eachother & we moved intogether. That’s fast without even knowing eachother. Maybe it was too fast. Maybe we werent supposed to be together this long & we were meant for just a season. I just want to put it into God’s hands & let it be wherever is meant to be. Now, how do I do that? 

[soulyourselfkitten]

WOW! I got accepted into UMF for grad school for counseling psychology with an emphasis in creative arts. I am honestly honored and bewildered that I got into the program! I thought my interview sucked, but I guess I did rock it! I am feeling excited, but also nervous. The critic in my head is saying “I can’t do this,” I don’t know how to talk to people,” I’ll suck at helping people,” I won’t be enough,” and etc. I am trying to acknowledge how I am feeling and what the critic is telling me and i hope I can let it go. I think the hard part is putting positive thoughts that block the critic. Because when I feel down, I can’t find one fact that proves the thought wrong. It’s just a downward spiral after I let the critic get inside my head. 

[classycookiexo]

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

Stop trying to figure it all out. Often the answers come to us when we least expect it.

onlinecounsellingcollege.com (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

Allow yourself to mourn the loss of love, and heal from those wounds. Don’t run into the arms of another lover, you will not find peace there: you will only accumulate more to heal from.

Tara Rose (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

If you focus on failure, you can never succeed. If you focus on being hurt in a relationship, you can never be loved.Whatever you focus on, you create.

John Assaraf (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.

Stephen R. Covey (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

I used to dislike being sensitive. I thought it made me weak. But take away that single trait, and you take away the very essence of who I am. You take away my conscience, my ability to empathize, my intuition, my creativity, my deep appreciation for the little things, my vivid inner life, my deep awareness of others’ pain, and my passion for it all.

partyof5plus1.tumblr.com (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

I think people would be happier if they admitted things more often. In a sense we are all prisoners of some memory, or fear, or disappointment—we are all defined by something we can’t change.

Simon Van Booy (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

[wisdomenlightener]

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

Self-worth is so vital to your happiness. If you don’t feel good about you, it’s hard to feel good about anything else.

Mandy Hale (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

People never learn anything by being told. They have to find out for themselves.

Paulo Coelho (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

I believe this statement 100%. You can tell someone so many times, but that someone is going to end up doing what they want in the end. You really have to listen to the person and understand whether they want your advice or they just want you to listen to them. 

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

Trauma permanently changes us. We might move through the different stages of grief, but the reality is the damage is so deep that we’re left with a new normal. We are different now.

Unknown (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

The things you are passionate about are not random. They are your calling.

Fabienne Fredrickson (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

It’s okay to change your yes to a no. Yeses aren’t permanent. They’re something we choose again and again, each and every day. Something we have the right to recall and reconsider as soon as saying yes no longer feels conducive to our wellbeing and happiness. It doesn’t matter whether you said yes to a job, a date, a relationship, sex, a favor to a friend, a social endeavor, or a vow of silence — you don’t ever have to commit to something that forces you to compromise who you are and what feels right; especially if it’s something you agreed to under pressure, intimidation, or force. Changing your yes to a no might make people angry. It might hurt their feelings, cause them to see you as a flake, and result in lost connections. But if saying no means staying true to yourself, honoring your feelings, and making self-care a priority, it’s worth it. You are worth it. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

Daniell Koepke (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

[velvetmysoul]

[856-fit]

Please dear god the pain of growth