hmm @soupeyenby - Tumblr Blog

It was cruel to make me a daughter rather than a son, maybe if I had been born a son my father would have praised my head strong attitude I inherited from him. Maybe when he heard me raise my voice he would feel proud rather than disgusted. Maybe he wouldn’t have made me into such an angry child in the first place.

we were girls in that house and we never will be again, I think if I’d known that at the time I would have let myself burn away with it—what am I without you?

#SOMEBODY SEDATE ME #my head hurts

I remember the day I brought home my first ‘C’ on a report card, I remember crying in the bathroom at school—imagining how disappointed my mother would be in me when I showed it to her that night, thinking she would never look at me the same way again. I remember how silly I felt when I sheepishly handed it over to her and she merely promised that we would be working together more. I felt so relieved in the moment.

I was right though, looking back on it, she never saw me the same way again. I was no longer her daughter who was so smart, who excelled in everything she touched; I was fallible, I could do wrong, and I had, and I would do it again. I had broken her faith in me the way only a twelve year old girl could and she never forgave me for it.

#heartbreak only a matter can deliver #yet if you asked me if my mom loved me I’d tell you with tears in my eyes that she loved me more than anything in the world #idk they gotta give me something that stops me from thinking so much

since nobody asked, I guess I don’t mind being a girl—eventually more so a woman—I know it’s the most accurate description for the role I play

y’know in my philosophy course we talked a lot about the roles we all play in relationships everyday, at home I’m my father’s daughter, my sister’s sister, at work I’m someone’s favorite barista, someone’s least favorite coworker, etc.,

womanhood is just another role I take up in my day, following a script I never got to learn the lines of, because when I do people are nice to me and I spent seventeen years of my life as a version of me that no one was kind to and I am tired. I know what I look like, I know how I present, I know for myself it is too cumbersome to desperately play the role of girl and then ask anyone to call me something else, it’s too selfish.

I can make peace with that I think, maybe one day something will be different, maybe I’ll surround myself with only people who do not think of me as an obstacle, but for now I’ll hum along to a song I’ve never learned, a second behind everyone else so I can listen and learn as it plays.

#idk #I’m up early to open and let myself think #never doing that again

maybe in another life I study linguistics, in another life I fill my home with the scent of freshly baked bread every morning, in another life it never happened, in another life it all worked out, in another life I’m someone else, in another life I’m not me

#and I don’t know if that’s comforting or disappointing

elainaaa13-deactivated20230331

sweetpies 2.0 by elaina

since this preset was a FAN favorite with reshade.. i decided to enhance/update it for gshade. i have been meaning to do this for a while and finally decided too. some shaders were added but honestly majority of them are the same. i decided to add some toggles for screenshot purposes as well.

INSTALLATION TUTORIALS: anything not mentioned in these videos i unfortunately can’t help with but this video shows how to install gshade + presets.

my MUST have aesthetic mods to ENHANCE your game ♡ *g-shade install + tutorial* // the sims 4

How to Make The Sims 4 Look Better! (GShade Install + Tutorial/Presets/Lighting Mods)

IMPORTANT: i use lighting mods/terrain overrides in my game. without those there is a chance your game may look different then mine. i will link all lighting mods/terrain overrides below.

milk thistle v2, no blu, no glo, tech-hippie terrain override

TOGGLE KEYS: pirate bloom off/on (shift + 3)

adof on/off (shift + 4)

adaptivesharpen/film grain (shift + 2)

FILE LOCATION: C:\Program Files (x86)\Origin Games\The Sims 4\Game\Bin\shade-presets\custom

TOU: do not reupload and claim as your own. do not use as a base, tweak, and try to claim as your own. tweaking for personal use is completely fine. i hope you enjoy this preset. if you use it make sure to tag me so i can see 😊

*all preview pictures are unedited. the environment pictures were taken in summer around 2pm. i also used srwe to take these screenshots.*

download (free)

soupeyenby

Reblogging to save 🙏

thinkingrocks

who taught his great depression ass this slang 😭😭😭

radiostation666

menthatilove-deactivated2024031

they are besties your honor

beansnsoup

How I feel after reblogging literally every hazbin hotel post I see:

dontbuymeperfume

i’m not the only one who noticed this right

i’m finally wandavision and I think it’s a little bit funny that she turned the people trying to shut down her town into a circus and full of clowns it’s it’s a little bit funny

#wandavison spoilers