soupy

if i can't sleep i may as well write

[soupylesz]

soupy is the name whatever my bird brain wants to do is the game.

i write, i read, i doomscroll, i music, i pod.

this is my ao3 account (shameless plug in ik ik)

len kagamine solos i’m afraid….

KISSES!!!!!! – platonically ofc.

she/they || 19 yo || mdni

[soupylesz]

Communication and Community

Sometimes I find it hard to communicate with people. Words don’t feel like enough to translate my feelings and my face just doesn’t make expressions good enough to express my tone. It’s disappointing to feel like I can’t communicate normally, it’s even more embarrassing to have to write out clearly what I’m thinking before talking with someone. All of that for my writing to still not represent me clearly. I wish I was a poet, at least sometimes I do. Poetry seems so… expressive, much clearer and neater in the way it can be understood. Ambitions, motives, subtext, language, it’s all so fluid to poets, yet somehow, they always have people who know exactly what they mean to say, regardless of how they say it. I think they can safely be geniuses. Maybe, probably. I don’t know what I’m talking about, perhaps. I do know I am jealous of those who are understood. Gravely so. It itches my skin to think about how good it must feel to have person understand you. To have even just a person get what you’re trying to convey. For your feelings to reach them and touch them in a way that they can understand. But even if I wrote about my feelings, word for word on how they materialize in my mind’s eye, I don’t think I could get my point across clearly. So I’m stuck in this position of an understander, of a tool for people to see them and find them relatable. Even though the need we all have to stand out, we don’t yearn to be different, we yearn to be seen and understood by our peers as someone with ideas that they can find themselves in. Acceptance, relativity, relatability, every ounce of attention counts towards understanding. But maybe I’m wrong. I don’t claim that what I said could be understood. After all I’m no poet, I’m just poetic.