I just got out of the shower after being stuffed with Mexican food, and I don’t know what I was thinking trying to shave my legs. I was already so full and heavy just stepping into the tub, and everything after that felt like a challenge. My belly kept pressing into my thighs, my arms bumping against my chest, and my boobs pushing out under my arms every movement was awkward and slow, in my shower chair, like my body’s sheer size was resisting me. And when I bent down to try and reach my calves, pressing my heavy chest against myself, I felt it, just the slightest bit of milk leaking from my breasts. It caught me off guard, but in the moment, it made everything feel so real. So cow-like. Like I’m truly growing into something softer, rounder, and more helpless by the day.
I kept struggling, trying to twist and bend, but every shift just reminded me how much I’ve changed. Everything jiggles. Everything feels bigger. And after fighting with myself for a while, I finally gave up and decided I’ll finish shaving tomorrow. It just wasn’t worth the effort my fat won. I sat there in the warm water and noticed even my tattoos are stretching out bigger cause of my weight gain...
Still, the entire experience left me feeling so fucking turned on. It’s hard to explain how deeply I love this—how good it feels to have grown this much, to be this soft and cumbersome. Even when I’m struggling, I crave more. I want to feel heavier, slower, wider, more engulfed in my own softness. I want my belly to drop even lower, my hips to spread more when I sit, my chest to grow fuller and milkier. I want to become so plush and weighed down that every movement takes planning. That even simple things feel like indulgent challenges.
I’ve started realizing that I’m slowly becoming someone who can’t do everything on her own anymore. I’m really going to need help with just little things like lifting laundry baskets, bending down to clean, even putting on shoes. It’s getting harder, but it’s also exactly what I’ve wanted and been trying to do for months. The idea of needing someone to help me, take care of me, feed me, pamper me it’s starting to feel inevitable. And the thought of that… 😵💫 fuck.